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Please give it up for the great and powerful Tim Dillon government podcast, the Joe Rogan Experience.


Train by day, generally podcast by night, all day. Tim Dillon fresh off the test. How are you feeling, buddy? Osnos Feeling good.


You know, when I go out with friends to restaurants in L.A., they eat, you know, everybody gets the gun, the temperature gun to your head. You know, it's fucked up. A lot of my friends who don't do it, they do it to me. And I'm like, I guess I'm the only one that looks sick because they look at me and they go get him, get him.


And then I ask other people, Mike, were you hit on the way in there, like now? So I'm like, yes, weird. It's like arbitrary. The way they with everybody I know.


Maybe they think, like, you're a little bit overweight. Yeah.


They like we don't want him dying at both a steak house in West Hollywood.


Oh, you don't want me falling on a tick tock or BOA's is an outside ball is all outside. Yeah, they're all outside. Oh yeah.


Those outside places are there. They're doing good, they're jammed. But the fucking inside places are doomed. They're doomed and they will not reopen.


Many of them. A lot of them. Yeah. Yeah.


It's a big problem. Let me ask you this. Yeah. When do you think Los Angeles going to open up back up again next spring.


Wow. Like April, well, I mean, it depends what this second wave does, right, if there is a second wave, right. Do we get clobbered in the fall?


Or do I mean by the time L.A. reopens, it's going to be Terminator here?


Don't you think that it's going to be Terminator after November no matter what we do? Probably.


I feel like with all of the fucking attention, like there was a story in Chicago, right? They thought it was a 15 year old girl shot by the police. It turned out to be a 20 year old man and he was shot, but he was still alive.


How do they get that wrong?


The fucking telephone game. Right. You know. Yeah, it doesn't work. It's crazy. So then everybody goes crazy and goes looting. So people are looking for an excuse to go crazy.


If Trump wins again, it's going to burn. Not only that, it's like, yeah, it's going to be the Maylin thing. Right.


So are they going to take days 100 percent? Wow. Yeah. So it's going to take days.


I mean, I assume they're going to have some polls open someplace and we're not going to know. We're not going to have an answer that night. No, that's going to be a fun week. It's going to be a not knowing who the president is. Remember what had happened to two thousand? No one cared. It was funny that we didn't have a president like there was all those SNL skits. And, you know, everybody's making fun of you.


There was no real unrest. No, in two thousand. But now we cannot handle the uncertainty of not knowing. We need to know that night. Yeah, the dangling chads thing.


It's no big deal. Yeah, it was funny.


Everybody was wondering, like what what what are we doing? We were all going, we don't need a president. Yeah. Whatever. We have so much more emotionally healthy as a country at that moment than we are now.


Yeah, this is funny but it's true. Yeah. Because we laughed. We go yeah. Who cares. Yeah they go, we're fine.


And but now it's like chaos and we need a break like we need a break. Whoever we like. Everybody can't be a political pundit. Like my aunt cannot be writing about trade on Facebook.


I think we just leave it all to Alyssa Milano. Yeah.


Well I'm looking forward to her tweets in November. I'm just going to follow all that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she was like she's got a podcast. We know that is fine. Yeah. I mean, it's relevance, right? They're all trying to be relevant. Everybody's relevant like they have to be. I have to get your opinion out there. It's super important.


And that's the way to be relevant now is to just be, you know, like be political all day, every day shift when you go from actor to activist.


Yeah, all in. Very interesting.


As soon as the fucking calls stop coming in, like, all right, I'm an activist.


What's so funny is we know because we're like in this thing that getting good at this, whether it's comedy or being an actor, it's very tough. You're not spending your life thinking about other people. Let's just be real. For the most part.


You're just not right. And you're thinking about your career. You think about your career.


I've spent the last decade thinking about myself, my jokes, my how do I get ahead?


How do I get ahead? How do I get on television for three minutes? Like so this idea that these people are now going to pretend that they've spent their entire career thinking about global warming, it's it's just not true. Like, I know these people. I've met these people. Oh, yeah. And and my friends have opened for some of these. And I know that, like, these people are going out there and they're like, you know, listen, we've got to do this.


We've got to do that. They've got to move the country forward. But I've seen them make people cry backstage at a theater because there's not enough water in the dressing room. Right. So it's those same people that are really cruel going out and telling everybody how good of a person they are all the time. Well, they find the pattern. They find the pattern the way they have to talk and the things they have to talk about. I lock into those things with no deviation.


They find whatever the line is, where Hollywood wants, whatever the line is, always left.


Yeah, it's always super progressive. Oh, super woak. And they fucking ride that line like a fucking railroad train.


Just choo choo straight down that no deviation. It's so obvious. I know dudes I used to do open mics with like they're tweeting it. Mayor Garcetti, you're tweeting about the budget in L.A. They're like the budgets being passed. They're tweeting Grasset, the budget. Oh my God. You can't you don't have the money to pay your rent like you have no idea what's going on in the world.


And you're tweeting at Garcetti about and they're doing it so that they can get a job. They're doing it to that somebody can see Miguel. You know what he'd be you know, he'd had a great Garcetti tweet.


He should write on BoJack Horseman. That's the way it works.


It does kind of work like that. I've I've just I've never been more amused. It's very funny, but I'm also terrified. It's very we're going to die. It has both of those things. It's like part of me is laughing at how stereotypical everybody is and how cliche. Yeah. But then part of me is like this is terrifying, like.


People at each other's throats are enemies now, like, listen, people never loved each other because it's a competitive business, but like I like people, it wasn't nearly as intense as it is right now. Like the feeling of like if you disagree with somebody, they are your enemy in comedy and they want you to not have a job like and I've never felt that way about anyone. I don't care what you if you're funny, I truly don't care if you're a communist, if you're whatever whatever you are, you're not you don't have any power.


It's not like you're affecting my life. You can believe whatever you want if you're funny or funny.


I don't like to say this in generalizations because I don't think I don't believe in generalizations, but. Right. I love them. I do too. They're fun. I need them. They're the best for me. I mean, we need them when I come without generalizations. Comedy kind of.


Yeah, but more people on the left are doing this than people on the right. Yeah. I don't see that many people on the right. I see a few but I see as many people on the right calling for people to get canceled forever.


But the people on the left are like burn their house, burn them to the ground.


Well the right will do it. The right I mean the kuhnen things kind of a way they're doing it where they're like David Spade's got an ankle bracelet on and he's in jail. And Trump's put everyone under house arrest like they're in this other thing where it's like, oh, you guys have left the planet and you like.


So explain to people who don't know what this kuhnen. Well, the covenant stuff is like. There is this idea that there's an intelligence dissemination operation happening, meaning behind the scenes high level intelligence guys or military people are leaking information about a shadow war that we don't really see happening. And the shadow war involves Trump and the people on the side of lightness battling the, you know, these deep state pedophile, pedophile cannibals. I don't know why I like I don't never understood why they have to be cannibals.


I didn't know they were cannibals. They're no, they're cannibals. They're eating children. And then they get the adrenal Kronman. It keeps them young. Oh, that's right. So this all thing and then Trump is going to war with all of them right now. Listen, pedophilia is a big problem. They do cover up shit at high levels. One hundred percent. Yes, the Eppstein stuff is one hundred percent real, 100 percent. Clinton's on that plane.


He's on that island twenty six times yet the Franklin scandal, their scandals all over the world. So I'm not delegitimizing like the idea of real human trafficking, but the idea that Donald Trump is fighting human traffickers and the human traffickers are Allen, who is a little wild, that everyone in Hollywood is eating children and there's tunnels under Central Park. I mean, it's hard to keep up with. And the cue drop, so to speak, are like these these you know, they're like they're like poems or they're they're coded information.


So it's never like, hey, this is where you get these drops. Where do you get a 4chan or something?


You get them like on 4chan, OK, for 4chan is the best place in the world for trolls. It's a lot of. Well, that's what maybe this is this could be like. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It could be a high level troll. Nobody knows because it's bait. It has nuggets of truth. Right. Just like anything else. Right. It has nuggets of very real things.


The government is shady as fuck. A lot of the elites are doing things, engaging in pedophilia and probably worse. Yeah. Like some of those kids on an island probably did disappear. But the idea that like that, that Trump is fighting this underground war and it's all about human trafficking, I just don't think that's borne out by the facts. Like, there's no facts to point. I mean, Trump was like friends with the Clintons for his whole life.


Well, not only that, if Trump was doing it and not talking about it, it would be so out of character.


Like, imagine this. One thing that he's doing is the most noble thing that he's ever done ever. Right. He's the most selfless, the most important, the most for humanity.


And he's not even bringing it up is just secretly winking at all the cute people.


Well, you know, and so everything he does, there's like a reason he does it. They say, like when he wishes laid back. So he goes, I wish her well. Yeah. Now, the thing is, is that that's a rich guy who's forgetting he's the president who's just on a tmr Lago, because that's how rich people talk. I mean, that's literally and I've been around a few like really wealthy people.


This is how they talk when you say something bad, anything bad, if you go, you know you know, John's wife has cancer, you know, their kid at a DUI. He's got a problem. He had a couple incidents there at Harvard. They go like this. I wish him well tee off. That's that's how they talk. That's how they teach. Just a dismissal. It's a way to dismiss the Q people are like, oh, there's a meaning.


There's hidden meaning. He's saying that she's and if you look at Ivonka is wearing this dress, it means and it's just like, listen, I'm a conspiracy guy, but this is exhausting. Well, I don't.


Who my jacket. The jacket. Yeah, I don't care. Do you know what it said. Yeah. I don't I don't really care. Do you. Right. Well yeah. I mean it's. Where the fuck is this. Yeah. These are weird things. What are we doing. So I think the Trump administration feeds the trolls like I think they like it. I think killed by the time you lecture rolls around he'll be like full full kiddo.


Just leaning. And who's who's behind the scenes pulling the strings to the vanco, they say Jared Kushner has a lot of power, but wouldn't it be funny if it was a Vanke doing the whole thing that could season one like stroking her chin like she's the boss? What is what is the nugget we released next?


She's in she's KUNR. She's the smart one who's said to me, how do we.


Yeah, she's the pretty daughter. Everybody dismisses her. I mean, nobody takes it seriously. She's in the background, in the whole fucking show.


EU black leather gloves on the go to elbow like the inspector gadget hand. You just see your and typing on 4chan. Send send. Yeah. I don't, I don't know man.


You know Steve Bannon said something and there was a documentary about Errol Morris made a documentary about Steve Bannon, Steve Bannon into this very interesting thing. He said, you know, there's a guy out there who's got a horrible life like he's divorced. His kids don't like him. He has a shitty job. But when he plays like League of League of Legends of World of Warcraft, one of these games, he's a hero. And when he dies in real life, nobody really cares what when he dies in the game.


So many people come out and they like, you know, they show him respect because you're playing with people from all over the world so bad. It's like which which life is the real life. So which, of course, it's the real one that you're living, not this fantasy game. But I think the Kuhnen thing I think the Trump administration is like, yeah, let people believe they're hunting pedophiles online. It gives their lives meaning. Right.


Let these people believe they're like hunting the Clintons. It's like fun. It's like a fun video game for them. And then they don't have to ask why they don't have health insurance and can't get a knee operation. I don't think that it's that involved. I think it's just a thing that's happening. Yeah. That happens to fit in with human nature. That's probably true, too.


Like, I don't believe that the Trump administration has the resources to do that. But still, I mean, they would have to be so for DHS, they would they would really have to be it may like encourage you to little.


I think they may just pour a little gasoline on it. Maybe.


Yeah, maybe. Why not. If they think that's their base. Yeah. They're like, why not.


They're having fun. I was going to say, Trump rally. You want a little fun. Oh for sure. Yeah. Yeah.


That's the things that he does that are mistakes like these, these interviews that he does where he will argue about shit like he'll argue about how well they're doing or, you know, what's wrong or what he got right or what his IQ is or how well he did at this intelligence test. Like anybody, he's playing like 3-D chess, not do that.


No, no, he's not playing any chess. He's going by instinct. He's he's riffing. And we've said it before. I've said it on the show before. It's like it's amazing to watch a guy get up, no material and just crush any interest. He's really going by instinct. He's like he's perfectly suited for this era. Yeah. Because he's like he he's hypnotising. Like, if you start listening to him, you can't stop. Like, I'll try to watch one five minute clip of an interview I end up watching the whole hour.


Yeah. Because he's like there's a hypnotic thing that's going on where he just is up and down and you just you can't not listen.


Have you ever seen Scott Adams talk about him? No. Scott Adams is an interesting guy. He's a very intelligent guy. He wrote the Dilbert Comics, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So he's basically saying that Trump is like a master persuader and Scott Adams understands hypnosis and persuasion and interest is talking about the way the guy does it and how he does it, that he's a master persuader. A lot of people disagree with him. But what's interesting is he's not he doesn't even vote.


Scott Adams doesn't vote.


And he's not really a Trump supporter, although he does say a lot of things that seem to like I think he leans towards Trump being more persuasive than just going by his gut sort of fills his.


He's got this theory. Yeah. That that aligns with his theory. So he goes I see him leaning into it a little bit. Well, it's not like he's totally objective about it, but he's lost millions of dollars because of this million.


Really like people have to fuck. Yeah, they've turned on him.


He was saying on Twitter the other day that people slow down in front of his house, start screaming that he's a racist Jesus for nothing just because he said that Trump is persuasive. Right. He said that he thinks Trump is essentially pulling people's strings and manipulating people in a really interesting way.


Yeah, and he is I mean, like any president does that. But Trump does it extremely well. He does it a nonpresidential way. Right. That's weird. Yes. A weird way of doing it. He's a I love con artists and grifters. And to me, Trump is the highest level, biggest con ever, most successful, you know, without a question. I mean, like, you know, he's the king of all of those every guy sitting in an office right now calling people up, trying to sell him shit over the phone.


That's to Trump's, the guy. Trump is the highest level that you can. I mean, anybody I mean, if you're using a fake I.D. to try to buy cigarettes up the ladder, there is Donald Trump, like all the way up. And that to me, I think because everyone's like he's evil or he's Jesus. Like, I don't I don't look at things that emotionally, because I guess I'm just not a total loser. I think that's really what it is.


I think if you're really there's nothing going on. Everything becomes about politics, which we don't. I'm never going to meet Nancy. I mean, this is a television show. You know, I'm not saying that real things don't happen, that people aren't affected. But this day to day, like you're inundated with, like he said, she's a policy. Schumer, it's like, dude, who cares?


My favorite Pelosi and Schumer image all the time was them with the African cloth.


Yeah, knees not realizing that the cloth pattern they're wearing was from a tribe that was notorious for selling slaves.


Yeah, yeah. Well, notorious for being a major part of the slave. Yeah.


Well so is the Democratic Party for many years. Let's be honest. That's what people don't know. Yeah. I mean when you go way back to the Democrats, Democrats were the Confederates. Yeah. Woops.


So it's just we've been looking at these people for too long. We've seen an image that's amazing.


I love it, but it's not as good as the one when they're on their knees. I love their hands on the hips like, oh, in the mask as well.


They've got it on edge. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful.


And someone was saying that like, well, you have to respect Nancy Pelosi. Someone said that to me and I said she wants 16 year olds to be able to vote.


They look, by the way, like invaders that just came into a country, slaughtered people and took their clothing, hopped off of a boat. Yeah, they look like people that just colonized an area and took their cloth.


They're wearing like swamp boots, little shit like blood. How old is she? A million years old. I mean, do does anyone retired? Does anyone step away? No. You die at a Trump rally like Herman Cain. Yeah. We can respect to Herman Cain, respect no matter Godfather's Pizza. Yeah, went out there, no mask.


He does what he wants, but he had cancer and he had cancer, I think. Oh, did he? Yeah. My dad covid.


Yeah. If you have covered and you die of cancer, you still gotta go. Right. It's just you get hit by a car, you die to covered. I don't think they do it that far, but.


Well, you'll see, they'll say there's going to be a documentary and a few years about this. I don't know.


New York Times is saying today they think it's underreported. I think that the covid deaths are somewhere around 200000.


Yeah. I mean, listen, I think it was at a certain point, you just you have to stop reading because everything you read every hour contradicts the last thing you've read. Yeah. And they're like, it's airborne. No, it's not. Yes, it is.


No, it's not. I'm like, what do I do? Get it services. Now, you can't just kill me. Like, I don't know what's happening.


They don't know that's the problem is they're making it up on the go because they're getting new data all the time. They're constantly getting new information, new studies, new things, but they don't react to all the studies. Like one of the big ones is the fact that it dies in sunlight. So if that's the case, well, you should let people do all sorts of outdoor activities.


These studies, when you read about the studies that like we sampled a certain amount of people and this is what we found and it's like that's not necessarily indicative, right. Of anything. Well, it's it's information.


It's better than nothing. Yeah. It depends on who's reading the study and what their bias is and what they're trying to say.


But it's clear that they're trying to figure this out. I mean, obviously, it's only been around for six, seven months.


And they say that the people that are really reacting to it, in many cases, a lot like for whatever reason, their immune system has not had as many prior experiences with coronavirus. So if your immune system is gotten a lot of colds and you fought them off, supposedly you're in a better position to deal with this than somebody who has not had that germophobia or fucked. Yeah, germophobia.


The fact that we were shaking hands and on and off planes, that might be good, that might strengthen our immune system.


Well, they were saying that about people in prison, like one of the reasons why the people in prison are doing so well with it. Like when guys are in prison, you would say, oh, well, it's fucking terrible place for your immune system. But was it Huberman? Was it Andrew Huberman was talking to us about this?


I think it was he was saying might not have been him. Too many guests. They were talking about immune systems and that when you think of your immune system, you think, well, if you're you're healthy and calm and well slept and, you know, you're not stressed out, that's when your immune system is at its best. Well, it's not really the case. And those people that are in jail stuffed in next to all these people breathing and everybody's bacteria and all the viruses and shit that's in the air, no escape from each other, no way to social distance.


Those people actually have pretty strong immune systems. They're just good because their immune system is like in shape. So the L.A. homeless population has got to be great.


Oh, yeah. They're probably they probably have a natural immunity. You know, they have typhus.


I know that. I had no idea if they found typhus. Yeah. Yeah. It's a middle aged disease.


Well, it's come back because of, like, the conditions that you're in the face of middle aged medieval. I fucked it up. Every time I do that, I'm like this time I'm to get it right. Nope.


I always say they're doing good with Korona because they have strong immune system. So why don't we open the Comedy Store up and just have the homeless be the service?


Like, why can't we open up businesses in L.A. and just have the homeless who strengthen their immune systems, operate the businesses. They don't show up to work, let them shoot the voice, then let homeless people go in and direct the voice.


I don't think they don't show up a lot. That's true. It's a good point. Buyable. They're unreliable. Maybe you should have like three homeless for each job. Yeah, yeah.


Like, look, someone's coming in. Becky's ready. That is on standby because over there shaking and scratching. Yeah. Here's the camera. Yeah.


Pointed at how we meant that this is America's Got Talent. There's 70000 of them just in L.A. It's crazy. They don't even know really how many there are now because we're seventy thousand before KORONA.


Oh, there's going to be there's going to be millions.


If there's a million homeless people, there's going to be millions of homeless people. It's going to look very soon like and it's really starting to get there like a movie, like a post apocalyptic movie where you drive down Melrose and everything's boarded up and you see a lot like it's gonna start looking really bad here.


It could look really bad.


New York is a nightmare. I've heard like New York, the crime is skyrocketing.


And, you know, there's just, you know, the relationship between the police and the people is very fraught. And it's very I mean, it's like so the police like, fuck it, we don't want to do anything. And you, like you understand a lot of they're just like, listen, we're going to sit back. And then now a lot of areas are just being policed by criminal elements, by gangs and stuff like that, because that's what happens in a power vacuum.


You know what? If you get rid of the cops, I'm not saying they shouldn't be reformed or they shouldn't have all these new regulations. But like, if you defund them or get rid of them, somebody start. Into that vacuum, and it's going to be usually a gang, the mafia crime syndicate, whatever, de Blasio Nerka, if you think your mayor is bad. De Blasio is a nightmare. He's like, hold my beer.


He's bad. He's the worst. He's pizza with a fork. And what's great is that he does what he does. Yeah. What's great is that everyone hates him like the left hates them and for different reasons.


And then the right hates even the black lives matter. People hate him. They also pandering. What are you doing?


Oh, God. Pizza with a fork is disgusting. What kind of a fucking human. What does this the mafia who is sitting with a bunch of old dead people. Just look at the ridiculous asses is the teachers one guy with the sleeves, the guy with the sleeve tattoos. He better not eat pizza with a fork. I will fucking find him.


Yeah. I mean, de Blasio, he's a fake human. He's like a real hero. He's like a goofball. Yeah. And he gets up with his wife. They did like a rally right after coronavirus and like she gets up and she goes power to the people. And then she thought like it was going to be like a 60s rally. And then the crowd was just stared at her like, what the fuck, we're going to die, lady.


Yeah, they told me once, coffin. Yeah. They thought it was going to be like they were going to start beating tambourines.


I went to the beat like Juan de Blasio think they're like living some historic moment and they are just not what they are, just not what they were in the wrong movie.


Yeah, it's it's rough, man. Yeah. Cities are in trouble. Yeah.


Well, he literally said you can only protest if it's a Black Lives Matter protests.


Let's listen. As much as I support the movement, that is not freedom of speech. You can't do that now. That's anti First Amendment. Yeah, that is a big part of who we are. You can't say no. You can only do one kind of protest. Everybody's got a protest or nobody's got a protest.


Everyone's got to be allowed. You got a lot of the time ask people with conditions, singing songs with Sean Hannity and you need to let the black lives matter.


People do it. Everybody's got to be able to protest. Yeah, I mean, I'm out to die. I rented a house in the desert. It's one hundred nineteen degrees every day. So not only can people not protest, you can't leave your house without dying. Like if you leave the house you get skin cancer. It's on a life. Yeah. And they tried to do a protest last night. I swear to God listed three blocks. They were like back like you were banging a thing like no justice.


No, no Pete.


Like, they had no idea. And then they were sitting down. You saw them, like sitting down eating ice.


I am one hundred percent for police reform. One hundred percent. I 100 percent believe there's too much police brutality to my. I'm also one hundred percent in the belief that there's a lot of people that are doing this and following this movement because like we were talking about before with actors, it is the trendy thing to do social.


And then also what you're seeing in like Portland and Seattle, you're seeing crazy white people trying to like government buildings.


Yeah. They think if they if they bash the windows of Amazon, this is the beginning of the revolution. How is it at all connected to police? It is not connected at all to police. It's just anarchy. It's just chaos. You unleashed that like in the beginning of this. Like, listen, you burned down a target. It was fine. I even laughed. I said, who gives a shit? It's in Minneapolis. Like this happened in Minneapolis.


So a target gets it. Minneapolis, the guy gets charged the next day. It's fun. But when you unleash total chaos, you know more about violence than anybody. You can't control it. You can't direct it to the to the targets that you think are right.


It's also intoxicating and fun, like all those people that are involved in it, wearing masks, showing up every day, having a good time. They're given it gives their life meaning, right? It does. They're trying to beat the man. Right. They're trying to break down the fucking fence. They put her on the federal building and they're trying to light that bitch on fire using Bibles. Right. They're lighting Bibles on fire. I mean, it's all chaos.


It's just insane. How about the mayor of Seattle?


It's like maybe this is our summer of love.


Yeah, I've never been there. I don't want to ever go like I have. Not the Pacific Northwest. I hate it. I know you do. I don't give a fuck of those people. I don't care about those trees and the trails. And they they all look like vampires. That pale and gaunt freaks. They're so weird. Amway that scam started up there. Multilevel marketing startup there. Yeah. They're all looking for something to believe in.


And that's that those are problem areas.


Well, that's where Brett Weinstein was teaching at Evergreen and and that's where they can't they like patrolling the campus with bats, looking for him.


He's like he's is literally as progressive as a human can get. Right. And he's also a nurse.


Yeah, but super nice guy. Yeah.


And they, you know, they were coming for him.


It's I've never liked something about the Pacific Northwest. I've just never I never connected with it. I thought about living there once. Yeah. But I mean that's your you love that stuff. I don't give a shit about all the time. I know. But that's why these people are out throwing bibles at the federal building. It's because it's raining all the time.


Well I don't know what makes that place so progressive and so left wing, but the thing is, is that like you saw hints of this many years ago where Antifa would stop traffic. I'm like doing these things and stuff.


And when people when they would get people to say Black Lives matter, it's like, well, the point is before that they weren't they weren't connected with Black Lives Matter before the current. If I. Saying before George Floyd, the Antifa people, it was all about right wing people, it was all about combating right wing folks, right.


Like the cowboy, they would have those skirmishes. Exactly right. Well, that's where the Cowboys came from. I came from one wing speakers. They wanted someone to fight back against a.. Who was shutting down people who were speaking at colleges who are right wing people like Miloje or anybody Kalter or whatever. Yeah. Those kind of people. So that's where it all came from in the first place.


But when you would go to Seattle, they were letting these fucking people direct traffic or is it Portland might have been poor Portland and they were letting these fucking people direct.


They were telling people, you can't go down this road. And so this old man was like, I'm going. And they started chasing him when they kicked his ass there beating on his fucking car. Yeah.


I don't know why people on Twitter defend that. And I don't know why a lot of celebrities defend it. And I don't understand why a lot of mainstream Democrats don't just call that out for what it is.


I've never once seen a mainstream Republican ever I mean, defend like the proud boys or war or that was certainly not their hill to die on. Like if a mainstream Republican defended them, it was very like it was a huge news story usually. I don't know why. I think the big problem is it's like things are happening. You see them with your own eyes and then people tell you that they're not happening. Right. They're like, no, that protest is peaceful.


You're like, I saw them light a guy on fire and use him as a battering ram to get into Macy's. They're like, well, you know, he gave them a look. There's always a qualifier. Is this weird qualifier? Yeah. They're like, well, here's what you like. They were beating a child. They're like, let me explain what happened. Yeah, they were gathered together. They had burning Bibles, bows and arrows, bike locks and chains.


That child across the street. That child said, my dad's a cop. You see the child starting. I like no, there's always a weird like. But they first they're the thugs of the left wing. They're doing the dirty work to the left wing, wants to get there like theater kids.


You like people that fail to stand up comedy and theater. And they moved back to Portland from L.A. and now they're like, let's burn it all down. I didn't get a Comedy Central half hour.


You ever see what's going on? Is you ever see the ones that are practicing self-defense? No. They train. They actually train.


They like they were these antifa people were meeting in the park and they were getting ready for skirmishes with the right wing people. This is all pre covid when this was funny. Right, right, right. Prie covid.


This is funny.


When it stopped being funny was how do you pronounce your last name? Go, Andy. No, Andy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Andy know got beat up and they made sheikhdom and people were mocking and I'm like, hey wait, why do you think it's OK to beat this guy up. Like why do you think it's OK to steal this guy's camera. You notice that no one is saying this is wrong.


Yeah. Then I started to say, like, OK, this is this is going to be a real problem.


And then the economy got shut down and you can on and you're like, oh, this will only make this bigger. Yeah, yeah. This will only fuel the fire.


But again, it's like these people who go there, whether they're trying to like the federal building on fire or direct traffic, they have a purpose now. They have a thing and they have a cause. Right. Like when they took over that six six block section of Portland or Seattle, rather. Yeah. Chaz. Yeah. What was it, Chow. Which was it was Chaz or chop chop, chop chop. But it started as Chaz.


But young countries often have, you know, they change leadership hiccups and as they develop. Cool, I was going to have that guy on my show, the Guy Raz. Yeah. I was too. That I got caught with a gun. I know he was handing an AK to someone or whatever.


I still would have had him, but we couldn't get a zoom link working.


I was going to have him in person. Really interesting. That would have been fun maybe. Yeah.


I was like, listen, man, I support you, you know, doing your thing, but you can't bring out a gun.


It's like and I didn't even to do this shot two people there. Well, I don't know. He didn't shoot. Well, he did some somebody actually did.


The other thing they were doing that was crazy was they basically became a really shitty run country.


They put up borders almost immediately, immediately barriers, border, what people were doing, things they didn't want them to do.


They were the worst case of police brutality. They just beat the people out. So if you were trying to film them something they didn't want to film, they just kick your ass.


Well, this is just like if you believe in something really fervently, not not like it's always the ends justify the means. However you get there, it doesn't matter. Like anything's justified in the pursuit of this utopia that you think you're going to erect in downtown Seattle.


Well, it's also you're doing for seven blocks what you think shouldn't have been done to America. You're occupying land right now, taking over existing structures. You're kicking out the indigenous people of Seattle.


Yeah, I think, you know, the shitty thing is like electoral politics isn't perfect, but that's what you have to do. Like look at Cortez. She got elected, you know, like the people that believe the things you believe can get elected. Yeah. They have to work within the system because all the violence and chaos will do will give the government a reason to even clamp down more. Now, they got people throwing people in advance, apparently the DHS, because, again, you're not going to overthrow the government.


You're going to overthrow the military. It's not the way it's going to work, you got you breaking in with property. It's just going to be an excuse for them to clamp down more. And it's going to work. We're going to be in more of a police state than we were.


Yeah, the idea that when they did that, that somehow another incited the violence to get worse like that is I don't know if that's true. No, it was it was chaos every night, 50 days. I'm not for the unmarked vans. I think that's a bit I think all of those things end up being because look at what happened after 9/11. They said, we're going to do this, this and this. And then all of the sudden, nobody got any rights back.


By the way, your emails are still being read, your privacy, all of that still there. So if we just establish a precedent of like, yep, some people need to get thrown in a van and we'll explain. We'll explain why that is. Yeah, that becomes a major problem going forward.


You see, when they get thrown in the vans, how excited everybody else was. What's your name? What's your name? We'll get you out, friend. Right. It's like you guys are all like Luke Skywalker. This is what happened. The resistance when you shot a country down for three months. This is the only fun left. Nothing's open anymore. The only fun, fun thing to do is to overthrow the government, get thrown in the van.


Yeah, this is summer vacation to people. Yeah. This is a you know, they used to have those dumb escape rooms that people used to do. Those escape rooms. You shut the fuck up. They're stupid. I love them. But this is a real one. This is a fun, real one. Now, it is a fun fun. Is that how do you like the federal building now? It's a real one.


Yeah. Yeah, it's it's interesting, man. And I wonder how these people are going to transition into regular grown up life after. Well, I think Salchow I think regular grown up life. The ship is on both sides, like the people that were in Charlottesville marching around like we're going to have a white country. We're going to I mean, these people will not replace us.


Yeah, they will not. It's like those people are as well.


You'll never please the far left in the far right. Right. Like you'll never like the people that are really on the fringes either. You're never going to make them happy. Like Kamala Harris, by the way, is a fine VP choice. Yes.


We're all going to get put in jail. Yes. She's going to put you in jail. But guess what? Who is he going to pick? Elizabeth Warren, who lied about being a Native American like it. Kamala's good because the people in the middle don't care that she's a cop. No one gives a shit. No one cares. You might care that she locked up people. But the Republican convention could be very tough to really get people to come out.


How are you going to be like, fuck Kamala Harris. Go, go. Yeah, they're going to go. She's a cop and she locked up minorities. Republicans go. Is this a real problem? Like, I just think what do you think, you think she's the worst?


I don't think she's the worst, but I think it's it's very well. Somebody wrote on Twitter that the left is very much against sexism and racism, yet they elected someone or they chose someone to be a BP based entirely on their sex and their race.




But we knew that was going to happen. You know, we knew that was this is why all these people on Twitter and guys that I really like, I really love Carl Kuklinski in those people. But it's like they were like, so mad about it.


My God, didn't you see it was going to happen, didn't you? Didn't you like it's the most predictable choice in history. I was thinking if they went nuclear, Michelle Obama, that would have been wild. Right?


One, they would go to what they would what they would have. Cuomo from New York call me Paul, the governor of New York. Meet Paul and Michelle Obama. When did you see the latest Cuomo thing?


Now, what's he doing now? Kuklinski sent me this. I mean, he's out of control over there.


And his brother pretended to have coronavirus, by the way. They pretended. Well, his brother, Chris Cuomo, said he beat Coronavirus by doing chest exercises. Well, I swear to God, there's a YouTube video where Chris Cuomo is gone. You know, this virus gets in your body and wants to stay there. But you know what? You just start stretching your chest doing this. You get rid of it. That's literally I mean, he's never forget.


Liar. Liar. Is that true? Yes, he's a liar. Get a stretcher check. Yes. If you can find it. Jamie, it's real. And he said he cured something. Jamie He cured himself by doing chest exercises and stretching his lungs out with.


The worst part was when he pretended to come out of the basement for the first time when he had already been in a fucking fight with some guy. Know these people on the bike, they're pathological liars, both of them. I don't think that's what the cases.


OK, this is my take from a person who worked in show business for a long time. I think he had a producer that had at CNN and they had this shot scheduled.


You're going to we're going to film you. Coming out of the basement is going to be amazing. You embrace your family for the first time in two weeks, OK?


Did the producer make a pretend now is protecting his Wall Street donors from Democratic tax bills?


So this is but the tweet I sent you, Jamie. But I didn't send you the tweet. Here it is, new disclosure records show Andrew Como's largest hedge fund hedge fund donor just funneled huge money to the governor, precisely the moment Cuomo has been blocking Democratic legislators bills to reinstate New York's financial transactions tax. That's crazy. That is crazy. It's not if that's the if that's the case, if, like, he knew that tax was coming and he blocked it just so that he could get paid, I don't know enough about finance.


I don't know how to sell houses. Tell me, come, I was a subprime mortgage guy.


I mean, I know these things. I mean, what I mean, you're my guy I go to. Yeah, well, good.


I mean, I it's very possible that he did block it so he could get paid. I mean, these people give themselves raises constantly, no matter what circumstances are, no matter what shortfall the city governments in, these people constantly give themselves raises. And Cuomo has got to play an interesting game because Wall Street money is how New York is even alive. If enough Wall Street people leave their fucked, well, they're fucked right now, but they're fucked right now.


50 percent of the taxes in New York are paid by the rich.


Right. And they're leaving like one percent of the people pay 50 percent of. Yeah, a lot of them went to the Hamptons. A lot of them got out of the city. And a lot of them are leaving the city forever. Right. So, you know, you can shit on the rich, blah, blah, blah. I think a lot of them should, you know, a lot of them get out of paying taxes by routing their money offshore.


And they do a lot of things they shouldn't do.


But that tax base is essential for that city, 100 percent, 100 percent, 100 percent.


And this is where also foreign criminals, as sad as it is, third world dictators, Chinese amusement park tycoons, Russian oligarchs and assorted murderers. You need their money. Yeah.


Otherwise, how are you going to sell stock? That's the reality. Like, they have to come in and launder their money through New York real estate. They got to come in and buy ten apartments they don't use and then their daughter goes to NYU. I mean, otherwise that whole city's going to fall apart. It's not right or wrong, good or bad. It's like it's just what's going to happen. It's just what it is.


Cuomo trying to bring the rich people back, say, come on over, I'll cook. Yeah, I'll cook there. He's a goon. Got you cooking for Bernie. He's an idiot. This is that folksy horseshit that they do like on the mall for you. It's like for you to come out not letting the city get destroyed.


How about not sending sick old people to the nursing home where they can infect everybody else?


Well, that I was for I think it's good. I think a good brushfire through the nursing homes is good, to be honest with you. Oh, God. I mean, my mother's in a nursing home.


Her her roommate had covid for a month. My mother never got every day they would go in and they were like, well, my mother mother's an annoying woman, loud. Looks like me. Every day they walked in there like, will you die? She's like, I feel great. So we're all hoping second wave.


But it's like, hey, you know, she won't die. The woman's three hundred pound. She won't die, will die. What is she eating? Everything. Probably her roommate who died of it. She's probably eating her, but the woman won't die. She's indefatigable like they they can't. Great words. Yeah, I, I whip it out here. I don't know if I want it right. I don't think I said it. I'd say mediæval.


Yeah. Here he is. Here it is. This is how it would be.


Caronna I don't think that, I think he's just talking about the tightness. No no no no no no. He's stop defending him.


I have to defend all this is insane because I have too much of that in me. This is, this is the vaccine for coronavirus by the way. Go on like this.


Stretching, stretching, stretching.


I like how the stairs are behind him. Yeah.


It's all horseshit. He looks fine. Probably set. Yeah. It's probably Sandrine. He's like he goes you know he goes as far as getting they want to kill you but he goes you know what I do. Because I just stretched the lungs, stretched the lungs then and it's like OK, so we shut down the economy for three months for a virus where you can just stretch your legs, you can stretch the legs and then that's it, something's off.


Well, this virus is fucked up because if you talk to some people, it's nothing. And I know people that have gotten fucked and then other people that have gotten it and they're fucked still. Right. Like, I think Michael Yo is still having a problem with fatigue.


My man and my ex manager's his wife. Got it. She still can't smell. Wow. How long ago? Three months.


She still she can smell a few things.


Jesus, I know she's healthy. Yeah. She's a thin, you know, middle aged woman.


Yeah, it's weird. And they are also saying that some large number of people that get it, they still they have heart damage. So after it's over, they show like the baseball player, there's a professional baseball player that has to sit out the rest of the season. So he's got checked out. I mean, I think he's twenty nine years old or something like that. And they found out that he has some inflammation in his heart.


Nobody really rely any of this is happening. Well, I take it back to Brett Weinstein again, because Brett, who's a biologist, was saying that this disease has all the markers of a disease. It's been manipulated for research. Right.


That's why it does. It's so infectious, manipulated for research like manipulate it so that they can research it or manipulated as like how can we make something dangerous that might be a weapon?


No, they manipulate it so that they can do research on it so they can find out what kind of cures they can create for coronavirus in the lab that they did research at was in.


Wuhan, and it's a level four lab by a research facility, and they have been cited in twenty eighteen for safety violations, they're getting real sloppy over there because we're working under communism. We don't have a lot of incentives. Right, right. A lot of money.


So it's true. It's very possible that this is a genetically modified virus and that maybe that's why it has all of these different effects on people.


Exactly. Exactly. And it's probably morphing. Like you say, the one in India is so different that if we come up with a vaccine for the American version, it's not going to work on the Indian version.


Is this just the rest of the history now is just viruses and pandemics and like I mean, this seems to be because all the conditions for this, you know, are are are are you going to still be there?


Like you're still going to be these wet markets? They'll still be, you know, a lot of unsafe handling of of of produce and not only produce, but like, you know, different types of animals. And so this may not be the end of this may be the beginning of an era of just different types of pandemics and viruses. Well, they've been warning us about this for a while.


Bill Gates had that TED speech. Yeah, 20, 50 said it's coming.


Yeah. And, you know, now he's the devil. Now, it was like Bill Gates to give you a lecture.


I just think people get weirdly uncomfortable when it's like billionaires want to do, like Bill Gates was considering once shooting a missile of dust at the sun to help climate change. This is a fact. But yes. So he is considering this and then.


Yeah. Gates, did you read this?


This is what kind of does the biggest one is. Yeah, but Bill Gates was considering shooting a missile full of dust at the sun. So it's like now, obviously people said to them, hey, not a good idea. And he relented. But when you have these Batman villain billionaires, it's not that they're evil, but that they have a lot of money. They could do whatever they want. People get uncomfortable with just one guy saying this is the way it is and this is what you need.


People just feel uncomfortable with.


Fine that. Is that real? That's real job stimulus. The Save the Earth. Bill Gates wants to save millions of tons of dust in the stratosphere. OK, that's different to stop global warming. But critics fear it could shrivel calamity.


That's not at the sun. But what that is, is suspending particles in the atmosphere that are going to act like. Understood.


But the reality is people get a little they get a little uncomfortable when a billionaire from a layer is decided to start shooting dust into the atmosphere.


And, you know, where is where is is there any democratic process here where anybody will ever have any say in anything ever again?


I saw we just going to listen to Bezos and him do it and they could do whatever they want.


Well, it's hard to say because when you're that rich, we listen anyway because we figure Paisios has got 200 billion dollars or something. He must know something that we don't know. We assume.


Sure, but I smarter than who knows what you know, also, they have a lot of money. I don't even think they want more money.


I think a lot of them just how old they want more. Well, some of them do, but they also have they just have designs in the way they want the world to look. They have an ideology.


I trust Bezos more than I trust Bill because Bezos doesn't wear a uniform. Bill Gates wears that Mr. Rogers uniform.


Yeah, I don't trust it.


I don't I trust Warren Buffett because I feel like he's in Omaha, just eaten eggs.


He lives in the same fucking house that he bought. And like now he does he does that. So guys like us will be like, what a down to earth guy like.


But he's a billion dollars lives in a four hundred thousand dollar. How something's wrong. That makes me more suspicious than I would be if he had a man. He should have a big match.


Bill Gates. Well, that's not even his regular outfit. The regular. That's the regular outfit. Yeah, he's he's a sweater with the shirt.


What do you do when it's a hundred degrees, Bill? What do you wear then? You know, you wear the same sweater with the shirt. Look, he's got that fucking he loves it.


But why is this a tech outfit? Man that's a Silicon Valley. They're going to people just get very nervous. What's with Silicon Valley billionaires?


Well, it's an incredible amount of money and it's incredible amount of influence. People are really worried about Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, these guys are the new Rockefeller Carnegie.


And he's fucking really young. He's really young, by the way. Speaks perfect Mandarin. Well, he's got a girl who's his wife's right.


That's Mary. Jesus Christ. I don't know what he's doing. I'm not invited to his home.


You know, I'll get you in.


I'd love you to do is get your Facebook page over 700000. I'd love to go. I'd get banned from Facebook within an hour of being there, be taken away. I just I just go up to, my God, can you get rid of my Aunt Kathleen, please?


It's a crazy video of him in China and he's on a television show and he starts speaking in Mandarin and they go crazy. They can't believe you can do it. They're clapping and cheering. Interesting.


It takes very little to impress them, huh? Well, they're just it's just a white guy. He's doing it. He's the guy from Facebook speaking perfect Mandarin. Wow. But he's ready.


That's comedy. That's comforting, by the way. He's going to bring them all. The head of the head of Facebook is yucking it up with, you know, maybe our biggest enemy. Yeah, it's nice. He's going to be super excited about New World Order.


Give me some volume on this.


Just short jump. What's coming out again? Coming home. Yeah. What do you suggest? We will destroy America? The translation is. America will be a prison. We will send your government to rule our. This is what happens when you're like a genius and you don't get laid in college and you just say, you know what, I'm just going to take over the war. This is like Pinky and the brain.


But the real thing. Well, he's also a guy who was friends with the people who put together Facebook.


Yeah, that's a great movie, Social Network. I didn't see the movie, but I really article about the real story.


The actual real story is kind of fucked up.


Yeah, he kind of well, there were those Winklevoss twins and they had this Harvard dating app or something. And then Zuckerberg came in. I think Sucker Berg had more of a vision of what he wanted it to be, but it was certainly sketch sketching the way that happened.


Yeah, but the fact that they're trying to do money now, they're trying to do Facebook Bitcoin like a cryptocurrency, it'll never end.


And there never it'll never end. It'll be Facebook vaccine. It'll be Facebook. I mean, it just won't end.


I mean, I don't know how it's still relevant when you go on Facebook now, it's just still crazy. People screaming. Yeah.


And they've still kept them all on their they've kept them on there. Like Zuckerberg figured out a way to keep the boomers on Facebook just sharing recipes and complaining about Kinnon, yet just talking about cute on my ass like Save the Children.


And here's a recipe for banana bread. My aunt's like there's tunnelled under Central Park and I'm making a banana cream pie later. So if you want the recipe, I mean, it literally it's recipes and dewdrops. That's my aunt's face. Huge problem. I mean, it's your head is melted.


I've talked to multiple people that really, truly believe in the Q and on stuff. Some of it.


Some of it listen, some of it you've got to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's like I don't even blame the Q and on people as much because like if you were ignorant of everything and you never thought anything was conspiratorial and then Eppstein and all that stuff happened, your mind would melt. Oh yeah. And that's what happened. They just I've been listening and following weird shit. I mean, I remember when 9/11 was a big thing.


Now nobody even care. Like, you bring that up, people roll their eyes. I remember Lajeunesse change and that was a huge thing. And it was like, we're going to get the answers and then people just stop caring. And then you move on to this. And then in five years, Kuhnen people will be like, they'll stop caring and then it'll be another thing. And eventually you just have to like kind of check out because it gets boring.


Well, you kind of wonder disinformation campaigns have existed forever where they take legitimate information and then they lump it in with nuts.


Yes, crazy shit. Crazy, crazy people and crazy shit. And then they put it out there because it taints all the legitimate information as well. Hundred percent.


You know, there's a great book, Behold a Pale Horse. You ever read William Cooper something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You read some of it and you go, oh, this makes sense.


And then you what a fucking alien base on the moon. Like what's going on.


Yeah. Yeah. And then some of it just goes left, gets really crazy. Yes. Patrice O'Neill, great point.


Where he's like people will be they'll, they'll say two things. It make a lot of sense and then they'll put marbles up their ass.


That's the way he said it. But it was true. And he said it on Owney. It was like, but it's hard. But eventually, just for your own mental health, you got to check out. Yeah, you've got to just go. You know what? There's more to life than politics. And there's just more to life than hunting this conspiracy forever, because it's none of what you think is going to happen is going to happen. I think that's part of what you just nailed it, though.


There's more to life, but there's not for some people. Yeah, some people.


If they put on a fucking magic hat and they, you know, they have fucking liberals with a line through it. Yeah.


They go out there and they fucking. Yeah, that's. Yeah.


And they get to the rally where I was, I was out there in the desert, they had all these women and there, you know, Mercedes like beautiful day, not as hot as it usually is. Women in like top down Mercedes you'd think like on a day like that, you just got to take a drive, put an album on, go take a drive up the mountains. Beautiful. Instead, they had these pink women for Trump flags and they all met on a corner and they're all waving their flags.


And it's like golf people. It's like like middle upper middle class golf people. And this is their sports was like high school spirit night. I wish her well.


Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. And it's just like I get thank God I found comedy. Thank God I have something I like to do. Yeah.


Because I maybe I'd be somewhere with a flag waving a flag running around. That's what it is like. So many things to do.


Nobody has hobbies Mike. Not only does nobody have hobbies right now, no one has a job that's a problem.


So there's like no money coming in. You're desperate, you're scared, you're blaming other people, everybody else.


You don't know who the fuck is to blame. You have no idea. It's a disease that might kill you.


Yeah. So that you're anxious or depressed. Your social circle has been cut dramatically, dramatically. And now the only thing you could do is kind of go online for 19 hours a day and get radicalized in whatever direction.


That's the thing that bothers me, too, about like whenever people talk about whether it's conspiracy theorists or whatever, the one thing that drives me nuts is that people say we have to stop these conspiracy, like when all these covid conspiracies were going around.


Well, that's a different one, right, because. I guess some of them could be actually responsible for people making poor choices. None of those people were going to make good choices before that. That's my point.


Yeah, it's like if there's people out there that are pushing ridiculous conspiracy theories, like, who are you worried about?


Are you worried about getting to you know, you're not right. You're not worried about you believing it. So you think you're smarter than everybody else?


Yeah, well, I think it's just people get deeply uncomfortable with the idea that they're losing control of the public sphere, the public space. Right. For so long, you had these these mainstream media outlets, they had real direct control. I mean, everything you saw, everything you watched, everything you read. It was under the control of relatively small amount of people. And this was how it was forever. Right? I mean, this was not like an aberration.


This was literally how it was forever. Every single thing you read or saw was curated by a small group of people. And now it's the Wild West and a lot of people don't. And you're going to get bad information. You're going to get good information. You can have to figure out which is which. And the country is not good at doing that. People are not good at doing that. And so people get worried and they're like, wait a minute, but you can't put the genie back in the bottle.


Well, the problem is they can write. They like pandemic and all these different people. Them. Yeah. And the video of the bunch of doctors talking about hydroxyl, chloroquine and Xanax and and that woman who's a witch doctor.


I liked her. I like that witch doctor I want to hear more about I find her opinions on demons fucking you more interesting than she needs a podcast. She needs a I don't care about hydroxy chloroquine. I want to know who are these demons who fuck you in your sleep. We should have her on you and me, please.


If you get her, me, you and her would be phenomenal.


We could fly her and she wouldn't even wear a mask. She would not wear a mask. She'd fight a cop. It's like, where does she live? I have no idea. Where does that leave me? I want to live. She practices medicine in a strip mall. Have you seen it? No, it's literally like right next to Israel.


A lot of doctors are bullshit. Oh, yeah. A lot of doctors do. A large percentage, especially in L.A..


Well, doctors are humans. Rights go to school. They learn to be a doctor.


There's a lot of crazy humor, you know, when you coming so much, because my doctor friend said it's a practice, which means we're still practicing. It's like, well, that's not comforting. Not what practice. That's not at all what practice means, you freak. But there is to lay there's so many doings. And I'm like, do you even have a degree?


Did you go to medical school? That kind of logic is like when people say program, we talk about TV programs, the programming you broke, it's that stupid, like linguistic garbage language.


What a nightmare. Yeah. So are you are you is there any part of you that's going to miss Los Angeles?


Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna miss it. Sure, I'm going to miss the store. I'm but I'm missing the Los Angeles that I don't think exists right now. Right. When you go down Melrose, you see everything boarded up and you see fucking homeless encampments everywhere. Like I took the wife to Venice. Yeah. And I've talked about this before, unfortunately. Sorry if you heard it before, but driving by, parked at a red light, you know, stopped at a red light rather.


And there's this fucking house to my left. It's probably worth five million dollars. And right across the street there's ten tents. Right. So imagine your fucking kid is in your front lawn. You made it. You've got a beautiful house in Venice.


We're five minutes from the beach. I love it. You've got ten junkies camped out in front of your fucking house.


And neighbors in the street like this is crazy. It's a fucking tents everywhere. Yeah. I was in Brentwood this morning. It's chaos. Yeah. Did you get off the 405? It's just garbage stacked up seven feet high. Intense fucking hibachi grills out there. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I mean that's why I got this house in the desert because I'm like I just want to get out and you know, as soon as you get out there, something happens where it gets really, really hot.


And there's none of that.


That's why I'm moving to Texas. Yeah, same thing. Texas is like that. Yeah. Texas is like the regular world. But you wear a mask. Yeah. And a lot of people from Texas, they're all set that I'm talking about it so much and people are moving out there. But I'm sorry. Sorry. You're awesome. Sorry you got an awesome spot. Yeah. Just seems like that. First of all, high population centers, it's just this is not a time for high population centers.


Just let everybody know that the whole idea of like living in Manhattan, this is going to be great. Everything's there, right?


Yeah. All it was it was great.


Here she is in Texas, Fire Power Ministries. Dog, I love that weapon of war. What firepower is that weapon of war? Give me the full image. Hold on a second. You've got hold on. Back, back, back, back. I can't. Yeah. Make of the firepower ministries. What does that gods battle axe and weapon of war see that I would have went right to the website but it was not work fire.


But look at what it says. They're gods, battle, axe and weapon of war. I love it. I need that tattooed. Yeah. I think I want to get that on my right leg. Firepower Ministries.


I love that battle in Mission Ministries and Weapon of War I forty seven ministries.


I'm going to put that on my heel. Where do that. Where is she, the Christian Resource Center right there. That sounds good, fire power ministries, fire power ministries, prayer, deliverance counseling, bookstore print shop gifts. I will send a limo to get you gifts and more, bring you to Austin. You do a podcast. We're going to have a good time. It sounds fun. It looks legit. Yeah.


Look, witchcraft section.


Oh, hey. Well, if you don't get a book on witchcraft, how are you going to learn? You got to go to a witch and they might lie to you. I'm all for her protecting us from witches.


Well, gods battle, axe and weapon of war. Imagine right now in your Twitter, man. This is for everybody out there. Please listen to me.


I've never asked for anything in people. I want everybody to update your Twitter bio to gods, battle, axe and weapon of war.


I want everyone to die. I may do that, too. I may do that for war.


I'm going to do that right now. Oh, please do it. Let's do that right now.


It's important why we're on the it's important to show solidarity with that woman and her God's battle axe and weapon of fire power and firepower ministries. Yes.


God's Battle Axe and weapon of war. US profile at a profile. Here we go.


Everybody's coming out of the woodwork now like you have a lot of different. You know, if you have if you had anything to do with medicine at all, you could come out now and just you could you could build a brand. She's building a brand to Bible verse, apparently.


Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, really. You want my work? Yeah.


Leave it alone then. Yeah. I mean, it's already moved to a read. She's building a brand. I understand what they're doing. Yeah. Hey, you got to build a brand. It's just what it is. Not everybody could be Alyssa Milano. Some subassemblies Malana. Some people have to be gods. Weapon of war. Yeah. Battleaxe Battle Axe and weapon of war. What a crazy Bible quote. There's some Bible quotes.


Well, they know the people like her. They don't want the light touch Bible quote. No, they don't want the like, give the old man soup or whatever, you know, some version of that they want. Like the fires will rain through your eye. Like that taip intense.


Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. The apocalypse they're into that.


So many people just really love that vivid imagery from like Book of Revelation.


Yes. They want that. Yeah. That's the only part of the Bible a lot of them care about. Yeah. They just want the end. They think it's coming.


What's going on here? Give me some give me some of this. What's she saying? Yes, we give our life to Christ, but we've been living in sin, right? Oh, no, we did not.


We believe that God exists, but we've never surrendered our all to him. It's all reasonable, that's all reasonable, but because. Don't be afraid to give your all the crises, I'd feel comfortable if she walked into a hospital waiting room and started treating me. I feel very comfortable. And then she brought that guy out and she goes, Now, meet my nurse. This is my head nurse.


You know what is interesting, though, is this the politicalization? Is that a word?


Oh, this is Sheetrocking our. That's exactly like the blood drive, that's de Blasio, his wife, trying to get trying to get a response from people and to the people. Nothing. Yeah, yeah. You got to wonder. It's a real nightmare out there. It's weird. Yeah, it's really weird. We can stay alive. It's awesome, though, as long as nobody love dies in this, it's a good thing. I think if we come out on the other end, which I think will be next spring, I think we could go through the fall.


And in winter it's going to be weird.


The elections weird like have you ever have you ever looked forward to three months less than these three months of just intense, heavy, intense anxiety about the election?


Right. Where I'm like, yeah, this could be bad. Could go, could go.


Interestingly, it could be a real mess in this country.


I think it'll be a mess no matter who gets in. I'll be less of a massive Biden wins. I think if Biden wins, it'll be less of a mess. And I think people will shut. I'm hoping people will shut up. Like, can people just shut up? They're not going to shut up. Yeah, they're not going to shut up.


Because, first of all, the Trump people, if Biden wins, they're going to be furious. Right. And Trump has said that like this Maylin vote thing's going to be ripe for fraud.


He's not maybe he's not wrong about that either. I don't know enough about it, but I don't know why we can't have a regular election with masks.


Well, I don't know why we can't entertain. This is how you and I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Let's just go all in and say, I believe it could be a fraud or the Maylin.


I think it could be, too. I think they should vote online. How can we could do backing fraud, too?


Because then Russian and Chinese trolls and all the trolls and bots. Meanwhile, you bank online. No problem. What's more important than your money? Nothing. Nothing. It's a good point. Meanwhile, they've figured out how to do that.


Let's just have a regular election, six feet distancing mask, spray everything down in between.


I mean, what are we doing? Phone opens up with your face, right? Yeah, mine does. Or your fingerprint. Why can't you use that?


Well, I just I agree with you, but I don't know why we can't have a traditional regular election with masks and distancing. We certainly can. I think we can. I think it's stupid not to, especially in an election that's going to be this contentious anyway. We should probably just have a regular election with masks and distancing.


I wonder what it's going to be like at the polls and then like it really elderly people. Yes, you should go to nursing homes that really elderly people and let them let them touch a computer screen.


I let my mother go in there and let my mother touch because she loves Trump.


She asked me the other day, she goes, Can you get me a hat?


I said, Yeah, she's schizophrenic, but she loves me. She's kind of his base. She goes, she goes, she goes, yeah. She goes, yeah. She goes, I love Trump.


She goes, he's just trying to do the right thing for the country. You know, I take a picture of you in full stride.


She goes, your Anthony doesn't understand that Donald Trump's trying to save us from the people that want to hurt us. I was like, yeah, I got Santtana.


I was trying to let the people in to hurt us. Fucking Aunt Donna. Everybody has one. Yeah.


So, I mean, that's my here's a question. Who's going to name the kid Karen after all this.


Oh, God. That names out. It's a you know, give me my name. That happened to to have every pussy that was being described in the eighties was like little Timmy. Everyone everyone did. And that name is decreased in popular, which is fine. I don't want to I don't want to name that everyone has.


But everybody that was the pussy name forever was like Timmy. What about Adolf by the way? Not a good guy. Great name. It's not a bad name. It's a great name. Yeah, it's a strong name. Willhelm, clip this and send this around. It's a strong name.




You can't use it anymore. You can't use you can't use it off anymore. Yeah, but how many kids. Let's ask. Let's let's do it. How many kids a year are named Adolf.


Probably nobody, nobody, right? I want to know I want to know how many you want to talk about a social justice warrior, the guy who's named Adolf's got to go hard left.


What actually was I thought this was like a US article. It was I say, well, why an article?


Europe is all in the official records on it. Apparently so.


Official records show that only 13 children were named Adolf between twenty six and twenty three. Follow them. Netflix made a small comeback. Since then. Forty six children have been named all since.


Oh yeah. The way Germany is going is going to be a lot of it offline. Yeah.


Because they got some issues and that how low that number is. Follow those thirteen kids.


That's a great Netflix documentary like you just call it thirteen Adolf's and you follow them and see like how they deal with, how they deal with having the name of, you know, a genocidal monster really.


But maybe you can be Jeni's, you can name your kid Jeni's. No. What is it. Ghengis or Genghis. Genghis. Genghis Khan. I like Genghis Khan Yunis is fine too.


I've said Ghengis but I think you're really supposed to say Jeni's.


Oh, Katrina. Katlin, wait a minute. Hold no more. Kaitlyn's Monaca, Monarchos Root, ISIS.


There's a few ideas, dude. If you ever gone somewhere and you see someone of Middle Eastern descent and their name is ISIS, it's like a beautiful name, ISIS.


Elon's rough Ellan is like an old, but it's a rough one now.


It's a rough one now because she was running Abu Ghraib in the back of her show.


Huh. That's a rough one. She's out there dancing with Christian Balen in the back. There's people that are getting up on the rack like this.


It's so weird when you see, like a lot of people saying that someone who seems so nice is not nice at all.


She doesn't seem nice, but that's that people have a very poor judge of character. She doesn't seem nice, it seems, forced more people that are like that all the time. It doesn't seem nice. It's very forced and whatever. You're allowed to be a bitch, right? You're allowed to be bitch. You're allowed to be nasty to people. You're accomplished. You're a comedian. You did the whole thing. What you're not allowed to do is have a Guantanamo Bay situation in the back stage of your show where everybody's walking around afraid for their life.


And it's like Abu Ghraib where they're hooked up to wires and they run them. Yes, she's got dogs. And if it turns out they have a hood on, I don't support that.


That's just me.


Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. I mean, you know what she does? She's around for too long. All these people walk away. You've been famous forever. Walk away. Like eventually everybody they're just going to figure it out now falls on an apology door apology tour because of the black face like he well he was like he had to go around and apologize a million times for like they're going to find the thing. If you don't go away, you got it.


You've got to have a good run and then we have a good run.


You step back and you go, OK, I'm still going to do my thing. But like, I'm not I mean, there's only a few jobs in entertainment. Right? Right. So I think a lot of the cancer culture shit is probably motherfuckers want those jobs.


They're like, how long is this going to be dancing? I can dance with Hillary Clinton. I could do the Charleston with Henry Kissinger, whatever the fuck she does out there, the Charleston, S.C., this goes out to do. The Charleston has got war criminals are in Bush. You're jumping around. I mean, right. She was buddies with Bush, the CIA agent, Steve and Patrick.


And do not ask me for sources. But Stephen. Stephen Paddick. Who's that? He was the guy that shot up the Vegas concert. That was very tragic, saying, listen to this. The only guy that saw Stephen Paddick alive, his name is Haziest Compost. He was a guard at Mandalay Bay. He got interviewed nowhere else.


You know, we got interviewed in the beginning, Alan, really weird. And then they went on, if you could find that clip, they went on with a weird like diagram of how it happened in Elon's like showing the people out, not like an emotional wreck. How are you feeling? How are you holding up? It was a weird diagram of like and then he went to the left and the right. It was very strange to look what the hell's going on.


This is a daytime show, which is the paddock guy. There's two guys, the chubby.


Your guy is the haziest guy. And now Ellen is doing a thing of how this shooting happened.


Look how she's got like an antenna from someone's Buick. Then she's just using it as a pointer. Why the hell is this happening on like a daytime show? Where is is weird? Where'd you get that pointer? Oh, I don't know. She stole it off. She stole it off an Internet car.


Why wouldn't you just use your finger? Like, if that was you if it was your show, wouldn't you just point.


Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is also a giant screen behind her. Just put it on that screen.


So but she's using this thing. I find it very strange. I don't know why. Wait a minute. Those aren't real palm trees. Yeah, I know that street. I know that block of Beverly Hills that she is how it is. I don't know why they're doing this on a daytime talk. Let's keep it running.


Look at it. She's dressed like Colonel Sanders, not Colonel Sanders. She's just like Sergeant Pepper.


This guy looks like a member of her staff. What kind of outfit is she wearing?


I don't know. She wears it wears those weird, like militant lesbians that should tell you some form. Yeah, it does. An odd look with all those buttons.


Like, why do you have so many wrist buttons it was given to her at Langley. The only reason why you have that many buttons if you looking at clothes. You want somebody, yeah, look, look at her. Everyone says she looks so friendly, she looks she looks friendly. She does look very military. Yes, she's a militant woman with a very expensive watch. She dealt with a lot of discrimination. When you came out. It was very sad.


But then she joined the CIA.


Her house got broken into while she was at home. Really? Yeah. Yeah. She got a dull place in Montecito. And so and then they broke in while she was there. And those people are still being tortured to this day. Probably they're still in an underground jail. Yeah, she's feeding them to her staff. She's like, it's OK, don't worry about it, because you did good, that the guy, the survivor, he's the guy who met Paddick, she's holding on to him.


It's odd. Yeah.


She's allowed to do that because she's a woman. But it was a man holding onto a woman's arm.


That long would be rape would be a real problem. Yeah, that's for sure.


So weird, man. What a strange interview, man. I mean, the whole situation was strange. What?


It's strange that they never really figured out why that guy did. There was no motive. He has a very little footprint online.


He was a professional in the Philippines. Yeah, he was. He made a lot of money doing that.


Jamie is just what Jamie knows. You don't know. You know. What do you think? Well, I don't know. Tell me what's going on in the story. OK, but you just made a noise like this is bullshit. Professional gamblers.


Not a lot of professional gamblers, buddy. Not about playing video poker. Is that what he does? Yeah, that's all he did. Yeah. He was an arms dealer. No, I don't know that. But I just said it very definitively. He was he was an arms dealer. Yeah.


He did have a lot of fucking guns.


So it's just very strange. And a lot of times what happens is, you know, I give him a check for twenty five. Oh well good for her big ass.


Check to look at one lot. That's good. Yeah.


That's a lot of they gave you a check that big in his twenty five by the way after taxes.


That's not even any money. I might put up this like nothing. Say bitch how about you give me some real money and not eight thousand dollars when we would give people fifty thousand dollars to win fear factor.




The government I think take sixteen kids crazy you thirty four.


When you do your first job in comedy you have to join SAG which is three thousand dollars. So a lot of times you're like negative. Yeah. You have to pay three grand to join the Screen Actors Guild and then you're fine. I mean it's wild. Well that's what they're doing right now in California.


Taxes, they're trying to retroactively tax everybody up to sixteen point eight percent, which is hilarious.


Yes. You're going back to January like. Yeah, you know, I know you were living here over the last seven months, assuming that your tax rate was what it is and you budgeted for that.


But no, we're going to steal your money. Are they going to be able to do that? I don't know.


They're they're saying sixteen point eight percent for top earners. Yep. And then it's going to be high no matter what, because it was thirteen. Yeah. And a lot of people will be paying fourteen. It's a lot of money to go to a state that doesn't manage money well and doesn't seem to fix any of the problems, especially if you're that guy that's got that multimillion dollar house in front of fucking tents.


Right. Like, what am I doing here? What am I doing? I work my fucking ass off ten hours a day. I come home exhausted, try to spend some quality time with my family. I'm dodging needles in my fucking front yard and I'm paying sixteen percent. I don't know if he's spending quality time with the kid, but he's still like he's on. I got some hookers and coke and this is still a problem. He's like they don't want to come over here and walk through tents.


These women are professionals. Yeah. I don't know that that guy is coming home to his kids again. We pay someone to watch the kids. Yeah, but it's no, it's falling apart here.


Very quickly, I wonder what's going to happen. Like, how far can it fall apart?


Because I would have never imagined it can fall further down. It will fall further.


Machu Picchu, there's no one there. OK, that's a good point. I'm in all these places. It's going to be taken over by the ticktock kids. You already see it happening. That's why Trump's trying to ban tock. The two year old. They literally run L.A., the 16 year old kids, they go to that steakhouse boa and they all walk around in bedazzle jackets and and there's paparazzi outside. And these paparazzi, they're job. Yeah, they go like as the world's burning, these kids are doing this.


The paparazzi's job is to ask these kids, like, what's going on? And they're kids and they're they literally have responses like a regular childhood. They'll be like, what's going on, Madison?


And she's like, I'm trying to get a car. And he's like, Oh, right, right. And it's so sick. Like, this is that guy's life. He's got to follow around. These children at least used to follow around Sandra Bullock. Now you're following around a kid who does this is what to do. There was a comic.


He's still comic, but he was a to Z guy for a while. He was. Yes, I know that guy. He met that guy. Good dude, good looking guy. He was like one of those times. You guys. Yeah, very nice guy.


I meet him at the airport all the time. Sometimes it answers questions, sometimes like, bro, I was focusing his time. So I get to fellow comic to it's tough for a fellow comic and we're talking I'm like on I get it.


But but he was cool. Like if I told him, like I'm not into it, I'm so fucking tired and I'm not going to comment on my friend's death like one of them. Anthony Bourdain. Yeah. Right after Anthony Bourdain died in my car accident.


Man, I can't what a way to make a like. I feel bad for those guys. You have to camp out outside of a Starbucks and interview 16 year old. You're like, what's the drama this week? They also know where you are. Somehow they're stalking these kids. What do they get?


How do they get the flight information? Like, that's what I want. I don't know. No one's done that to me, Joe. I don't know who is want to know how they get the information? I don't know. I but, you know, one airline you're on. It's weird. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.


Like, it must have someone inside the airline. They send the money or something like that. They have some sort of that's interesting.


So they should then they show up at LAX at the right time. Yeah. Not just actually they show up when you. Getting off the elevator at the escalator, like at fucking you know, the fourth terminal, you know, when you're in Terminal four and you know they're there for you, they're ready. Wow.


Weird. See, they're outside of the restaurants in Beverly Hills. A lot of times just asking people to go to restaurants.


They know what restaurants they're going to get.


Like if you go want. Yeah. Or a patch or any of those and the food and a lot. I like Craggs, but a lot of those restaurants not good.


Well it's a scene. It's a scene. It's exactly what it is. But the food is like you got this is horrific.


Like to Nobu in Malibu didn't let them on the property. So they're on the street yelling at you. They yell for like so there's like the parking lot. Yeah. And then there's the rest. Are you going to miss that stuff. Are you going to like to know more now.


Like the food. Like the sushi. No, no. I eat meat.


I know I eat meat and fish. Don't like it's ok.


I eat it when there's no meat around. And my dad's friend on the steak house, he said that this fish is like because fish is perfectly good if there's no meat I like to eat.


Well, the good thing about fish is you can eat it all day long and no one gets mad at you if you eat meat. People think you're a terrible person. Meanwhile, there's plenty of cows and we're sucking fish out of the ocean in record numbers. But the ocean is going to be drained of sashimi.


Yeah, but no, no, no generation before us ever worried about us. So it's like I'm going to eat the sashimi and the kids can figure it out. Let the tick fox figure out how to get more salmon.


But there's no shortage of cattle. Well, you can grow, but that isn't the problem that they fart and then it causes methane. I mean, I know that was the case, but then they did an actual survey. See, do you find that they did some sort of a satellite image of the United States? And they found out that the large majority of methane releases coming from dumps and coming from my understanding, yeah.


What's interesting, of course, it talks all that food and everything is Gotting and it's just going straight up.


Well, yeah, all of those, you know, people criticize me because it's political. But what's very interesting is like sugar gets away with everything. Yeah. Sugar is like like there was a comedian who did a great job and was Baron Von and it was like he goes cocaine and heroin, look at sugar and go, fuck, that's the fucking dude. That's the real drug. He's everywhere. Yeah. I mean, all the supermarkets. Yeah.


So I mean, sugar is just so endemic in our culture and it's not that political and it is very addictive. Oh yeah. I mean Ari Shapiro did this and big jail Christian a few people. We did this Slim Fast challenge for like two weeks and you read the Slim Fast ingredients. All sugar. Yeah. You're just drinking a chocolate milkshake. Yeah.


Just doesn't have much calories other than the sugar. Right. And it fills you up in some weird way with Jamie. What does that research shows?


Removing all livestock and poultry from the US alone would only reduce global greenhouse gas emissions by zero point three six percent you fucks.


Just relax, if you don't eat those cows, they die on their own and no one gets to eat them, right? That's the problem. Yeah, she got to eat the cows. Yeah.


This idea that you're going to save the world, that was something that was promoted by a lot of these bullshit propaganda vegan movies. Right. But if you like, greenhouse gases are all coming from that. No, no, no. Now, look, a lot of greenhouse gases coming from shipping produce folks. Right? It's unfortunate. It's true. Agreed. There's a lot of problems with growing things like almonds that you're using so much fucking water to get these things right.


You're drinking almond.


What's your feeling on home? I drink almond milk. What's your feeling on whole milk? I think raw milk is probably good for you. What's wrong? Doesn't bother me.


Process non homogenized. Non pasteurized.


Where do you find that? You can only get it in some stores. And it's kind of like it's kind of growing. I mean, it's like it's like finding DMT. You know, when I was about to say I'm like, sometimes you bring up a product, I'm like, how do you even get that?


I was drinking raw milk for a while because you could get it at the supermarket.


I think you could get it at Whole Foods. But it was good for literally like two days.


Does it taste good? It is great. Interesting. It's really thick. And like you drink it and it doesn't make you feel like shit.


Like there's something about regular milk, which I love, like milk and cookies. You give me a fucking chocolate chip cookie and a cold glass of milk. Whoo! Yeah. It's so good you don't it.


Yeah. Duncker you dunk have d'Hondt boa has a dessert where it's those warm cookies and then just a little scoop. Vanilla ice cream. It's a it's a problem. It's very good. Real good. It's a very good thing.


But when you drink regular milk your stomach is like all right, we can deal with it like right. Whatever.


But whole milk, it just kind of goes in there because it has all the enzymes. It's not boiled down when your body is drinking pasteurized, homogenized milk. The idea is it can stay on the shelf longer. It could feed more people. It also lasts longer, keeps people from getting sick. I get it all that stuff's good. But the problem is that your body doesn't know what that is like. That's boiled and dead. There's no enzymes in it.


Right? Drink regular milk. It's like your body's like, oh, we know what to do with this. This M.S. is milk.


It's not this like pasteurization. Yeah, ok. Yeah that's all. Yeah. And you don't fuck with almond milk. I've had it's a little lighter that whole milk. Not milk.


It's not, it's nonsense said chunkiness. Well it's some fucking shit. We take almonds and then you soak them and then you get this murky water and then you drink that and lie to yourself.


And by the way, most almond milk sugar in it. Like Duncan, I love Duncan to death.


Like, dude, almond milk is so healthy. I go, yeah, why don't you read how much sugar it is per serving. It's like nineteen grams like you had nineteen grams. That's why it tastes so good. Everybody lies drinking a vanilla milkshake. Well you go witness you go for Whitney says Whitney has all these weird plant based things but they're all kind of like weird like plant based chocolate pops and chocolate almond milk and but she's very thin because she, she doesn't eat a lot of rose up a lot of people.


That's what she does speed. Yeah, it's a good point. She did all of those things, all of those things help, you know, the needles every now and then I'll call it. She got like nine needles coming in. I'm like, is this covid backstage? What's going on?


She does the nayed. We both need adaptions.


But yeah, I mean, but the plant based stuff never feels that Halcion plant based diet. Is that what she's doing? No. She'll have meat every now and then, like I'll bring her food that has meat in it and she probably eats like a war. Yeah. She'll eat it.


I mean a lot of times I try to bring her like an eggplant parmesan or something that's like in her wheelhouse. Yeah. Yeah. She's a dyed her hair pink. Not like Billy Eilish. When did she do this. She's recently I mean she's like gone off the charts, probably losing her mind. We need a vaccine.


So Nikki Glaser was talking about shaving her head on Twitter I to reach out to her. Yeah. Did you. Yes.


I bet you're stealing my thing. Good. Nikki, stop doing it in solidarity for my friend who has cancer.


By the way, there is no friend. Yeah.


Oh, she's she's like, oh, great. People are having issues. She's coming on next week. I texted her and I'm like you.


What is what are you doing? And she's she's like, oh, I'm going crazy.


She's she's in Missouri with her family. Yeah. She's living with her family. While it's just great, man, she's in love. She's great. A fucking great comic. She's at Killer Whitney's hair.


She's so great. Yeah. Whitney's really Whitney keeps getting younger like she looks like she's 17 years old because of the crome. Yeah.


It's what's happening there with that bluechip come from. What is that. What is that.


Who is her assistant and who shoots things at her. Oh, she knows how to stay around resistance. Hilarious. Yeah. He's very funny together. A very fun to go. Yeah. He just like I don't know, crackerjacks overhead or whatever. I don't know. But it's good. I mean it works, it's, it's a fun dynamic. She's having a good time. Yeah.


She's one of those people that I go man how does Whitney function without the store, which is probably a lot of people say about me.


Right. Well defined function. But I mean, like. Yeah, no, of course, like some of us just people just by shooting a potato gun at her in her backyard. Let's not get that fix. I agree, ma'am. I had to get out of L.A. I had to go to the desert. I couldn't handle the feeling every day that things were disintegrating minute by minute. And they are. Yeah, I that was wearing on me.


So I said, let me just go to a place where there's is 80 year olds driving golf carts. Yeah. Bob, hope you just look at Bob Hope's house. It's nice. Joey has had a really good. I think he's right. He's like, before you leave Joe Rogan, you've got to go down there and film that shit and show these motherfuckers. They don't know. They don't know. You don't know. Go down, Melrose.


They don't know. I don't know.


What the fuck do I listen to the episode he did with Lee when they talk about dissolving the church and was like, that was a great fucking episode, man. And it was like emotional. It was like because that guy, along with you, helped define a whole era of podcasting and comedy and everything. So it's like when you hear him talk about walking away from L.A. and why he's doing it in the family.


I mean, it's a real, like, impactful thing. Don't tell Joey what's going to happen. He's just going to take one winter in New Jersey and then I'm going to call him up.


Joey, I bought you a house is just Re-route his plane. Just have his plane landed on a beautiful house, like on a golf course. Yeah, green.


I'm going to make sure it's real near walking distance to good food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to buy him a house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Biomet once I open up a comedy club. Yeah. So you're you're hardcore.


You're like going full. I'm gone. You're doing it. I'm gone. Well I know you're gone but you're really doing the job and everything fucking done everything. Wasn't I exciting. I need comedy. I agree. Also I feel like Austin is a fantastic artistic community. There's a lot of like fantastic music. Yeah. It's the live music capital of the world is it is fucking sensational. Very good. The people are cool as shit. I just felt like that's a good spot.


One hundred percent.


I mean we all need I'm doing a tent in Long Island in two weeks at governors. They said they've set up a tent in the parking lot and I'm doing it because just like pay good for them, why not good for them? Time to start little by little figuring out like what this is going to look like.


Good for them, for just fucking adapting. You know, I like that these restaurants are like you go to Venice, they like taking up the sidewalk. They like we were all supposed to shoot. I don't want to say what, but me and a bunch of other people, we're supposed to shoot something for Netflix in August in L.A. that never happened that. So now it's like you don't know what the hell's going to happen with that.


Yeah, I, I was going to try to do my next special right around the New Year.


That was my plan and my art and book got all these. Oh yeah.


I had a lot of shit booked but my plan was to make this mad run. I was going to do Boston Garden and Madison Square Garden. I had all these theaters booked, me and Chappelle, we're doing a bunch of dates. And the thing was to come into like January, February, just fucking coming in hot and do my next special. And now it's like part of me. Look, I'm not happy that this is happening for anybody that's sick or anybody lost a business, anybody.


But you have to be able to adapt and look at the bright side. So for me, what I'm thinking is right now is at the very least, what I can do is use this as an opportunity to examine what I want to say in my act.


Right. Examine it instead of just doing bits that I know are killing because I have a lot of bits that I know we're just murdering. Right.


And I'm like, oh, hey, should I do that bit how it is, just how I feel. Is this real? Like where do I go with this and then go go forth once the year rolls over, I think around twenty, twenty one January, February, that's most likely. If there's a possibility of doing stand up again, that's when it's going to open up. They're talking about having some sort of a vaccine around December. So.


Well let's see. But yeah. Yeah sure. Yeah.


I think it's going to get to a point, we're going to get to herd immunity a little quicker than we think.


Well, you know, I was talking to Ron Funchess yesterday and I was like, Ron, what if this is it? This is the this is how we live. From now on, you can still go to the store where I'm at. Right? You can still go to a restaurant, wear a mask like is this or what would we do? Would we eventually just start doing stand up again, say fuck it, if you catch it, you catch it.


It's a good question. I don't know.


I think that you can reach herd immunity with this at a lower percentage than a lot of other things, because we they say that we have exposure to previous coronaviruses in that you could maybe start reaching some level herd immunity around twenty or thirty percent as opposed to sixty percent, which would mean that New York City I mean, the New York cover cases are a very low.


That's one of the reasons I'm doing that tent, is because they're very low right now. Yeah, but is skyrocketing, L.A. skyrocketing, but no one cares like everybody's salary skyrocketing. It's the wrath of a vengeful God.


I mean, let's be very honest.


I mean, do we deserve to not be? No, I. I think it's skyrocketing because it just went across country. It was just east to west.


Everything cool kind of starts in New York and then it ends up in L.A. to get sold and get ruined and get big and get ruined. So covid started in New York.


You know, it just gives you it's you time to it's around.


Everybody just uses covid, filters, blockers. No one cares. I mean, people are out in the outdoor restaurants. I mean, it doesn't really matter if people are enjoying the restaurant, the outdoor restaurants. But I feel so bad for all the really good restaurants that don't have an outlet to remote places like that. I'm really sad. Nancy Silverton, Apple AAPL, please. Felix, you like Felix as an outsider? Oh, they do. Oh, that's wonderful.


Their whole outside. It's fantastic. That's awesome.


Maybe I'll go there tonight. Next to a restaurant that had this whole outside area that checked out over the desert, when you go to restaurant to eat the food you like, like what the fuck is this? I don't know what goes on. I've got to like seafood restaurants after I start to eat something like I don't even know what this is. I've no there's one good one called Pacifica, which is really good. But there's a lot of restaurants out in the desert.


We go wrong. So you just decided to go out there. Did you previously have experience with.


But I was in a car and then the people the riots started. So I was in a car and the riot started. And I literally instead of going back to my house, I live right off sunset and apartment, right off sunset instead of going back. I just got on a Tanaiste that's never even been out there. I just had the clothes on my back. I swear to God, I said of getting on a 10 e what am I going to go?


I look like a cop. I look like a guy needs to be burned alive for every sin that this country is committed. Right. No one would care. My own parents would be like he probably did something right to deserve that. So I'm like, I'm getting the fuck out of here because I get lit up immediately. So I just started driving and tennis. I got everybody. I talk some dude. I'm like, hey, it was a nice everybody.


I just got out and I'm like a fucking love it out here. It's just nice. It's just quiet. I know people who have like vacations, of course. And then I just said to myself, I'm like, if Ellie's not going to be if I'm not at the store and I'm not doing anything, I can drive them to do podcasts. I could easily drive in.


How long did it take you to get here under to about to like San Diego? All the traffic is Ventura Freeway.


Have you ever thought about living down there like La Hoya?


No, no, I'm not a surfer, you know what I mean? Know I'm not here. I came here to do stand up comedy. I came here to create things. I didn't come here to be a surfer.


I didn't come here to do yoga.


I didn't come here to join a cult. I come here to do any of that. I'm an East Coast kind of east coast is where I was born and raised like. Which makes sense that you're in the Palm Desert. Yeah, because it's.


Well, what are you going to do? I'm not I can't move back to New York, get shot in the face.


So I'm staying there until December to the holidays and then I'll figure out, you know, who knows. We'll see what's happening in the world.


The violence rate in New York right now is a little too much. It's a little too much. So crazy. It's a lot. And listen, how are they going to turn that back? It'll turn around in five years. Everything. It's a cycle.


It'll it'll bottom out a little bit or or be done forever.


But it's Bosnia. It'll be a cycle, dude. In five years, a bunch of rich kids will move in. They're just like they moved in at twenty nine. They'll start doing alternative comedy dressing like fucking, you know, fucking like clappers. They'll start, you know, and they'll just and that'll be the resurgence of the city. They'll, they'll, they'll, they'll open a bunch of new coffee houses in what used to be homeless shelters and it'll just end.


It's just a cycle. But what needs to happen now? There's going to be a lot of pain. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of displacement of people. And then I think this could be the route to the city getting cool again to maybe younger artistic people coming in, architects doing cool shit, reimagining public spaces. So New York needs to get shaken out of its tree a little bit and so does L.A. That's what's happening. Right?


I just don't want to be here for it.


Like maybe it'll get dirty and dangerous again. It's going to get to the point where maybe everything won't suck.


Time Square will be like Times Square. And people that move to New York, well, they'll be you know, listen, if you know, you could get slashed on the way to the comedy show, you better kill.


You better make it work. You have a lot of tension. You better make it work if it's safe and you and your friends are like skipping down the street, you don't you don't ever feel that pressure. Where's that other song? Right. Pressure is good.


Yeah, maybe. And I think that now you're going to get it, you know.


Where do you think you're going to wind up? I don't know. I'm Texas. Very interesting to me. That's very interesting. I mean, the idea of that is very interesting. I put up the bat signal for everybody. Yeah. I mean, that's very interesting to me. I mean, I also think, you know, I do like L.A., but I don't know what's going to happen. I do like it here. I mean, there, you know, I don't know what I'm going to do.


I may manage. You know, I've talked about managing Logan Paul's presidential campaign.


I could always move back to do that. We're going to have to talk to Jake, though. He's going to be like Roger Clinton. He's in trouble right now.


There's a few guns trouble. You got an arsenal. He's like Billy Carter. He's got an Arsenal beer. Yeah. Yeah. There's always a good Roger Clinton. There's always a brother who you go, you take you just sit down.


Was it an Arsenal thing or was because he was he was stealing things from the mall? No, no.


I think it was just walking around the mall being a being what he does, which is with a camera. And then I think, you know, he left, I think an AK 47 on his hot tub, like leaned up against a hot tub. I think somebody ratted him out.


And then, you know, they show it on Twitter or something. Yeah, there was something on Instagram or something to do to a guy like that with that kind of money. I say get more weapons, get a get a bio weapons lab. You should have a bat coronavirus going. Twenty four seven, get anthrax. Take Paul, get anthrax. Who cares. You're going to need it when L.A. Falls. These are the only fucks. There are going to be able to do anything, they're going to have arsenals.


Good point. Yeah, man, why not? It's not a bad idea. Yeah, but I don't know, like is very weird because you're you're like, where do I fit in, you know, without stand up comedy or like I podcast. And that's good. And I try to make that as funny as I can. But then you look around a lot of in L.A., like I don't really fit in with the actors and I'm not really one of these kids.


It's really like a social media guy. And then I'm not one of these these writers that, you know, tweet about global warming, a black lives matter world. I see you like my community of people, which was the store and the stand up comedians have now been, like, dispersed. So it's like a weird like I'm like a man without a country.


Yeah, I feel like that, too. And I want to be adopted by one of these, like someone come in here like one of the YouTube. I don't care anybody. One of these guys that walk around, you know, like hipsters and these crazy shirts and everything, just I'll be one of those guys, just someone knocking on start your own thing. Well, I mean, golf shirts and discretion, which is just Paulose just like this.


Just Ill-fitting, Paulose, Ill-fitting Polo's for the American racist opposer.


A weird choice. Like, why is it that that is like the only thing I wear for dorks where you know what it is.


I've always wanted to look like I've had money and I've never looked like it. And there's a type of guy that's from a lot of them live in New York or Long Island or Boston, by the way. Yes. Yes. And they wear these fucking polos and they have no fucking money. And that's the kind of guy that I am where it's like I always want to look. But they're always sunburned and they've always got like an ill fitting thing, like the collar like this collar's all fucked up because I tumble dry it in the wash like an animal.


I look like I like a golf pro who's failed at everything.


And his wife left like John brother. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but that's the look when you have to look just honor the look.


The eyes are look, I remember when I was a kid a fake aitzaz we couldn't afford alligator.


OK, so what was it you have like an armadillo bullshit thing you buy from like, you know, some stupid department store and guys would glue an alligator over it.


Oh, really pressing. Oh, that's rough. Yeah. Oh, they would fake it. They made it out.


But it's so funny. Like leaving it to kids. Labels to kids are a big deal.


If you have off brand sneakers on like one summer I saved up for a Versace shirt and I bought this Versace shirt. It was like this weird mesh material that clings to your body. Now, here's now we can imagine there were many problems with that, right? Because Versace has European clothes. Now, even if I were small, close clothes, no.


Got got their gear because they're for dudes with, like, small shoulders. You know, they you see Dolce Gabbana like they're just they're women like they. Right. So I bought this Versace shirt, which was like blue and mash. And it was just tonight, I mean, I look like Grover or something like Cookie Monster walking around it. And then I just spilled something on it. And then I realized, like designer clothes, you can't ever spill anything on it ever.


Or you have to, like, throw it out, like those types of material. It just doesn't work. And I'm like, oh, the people that wear these don't eat.


Or when they eat, they don't eat in a way that gets things on them or when they get things dirty, they just throw them, throw them out, get another one crazy. Yeah. There. While I've never been in the fashion. Yeah. I never have either. But I have been fascinated by the whole Paris fashion show runway. Interesting to the point where I've actually like I remember when Kanye West was getting into that and you know, he was making his stuff and have people wear it on runways.


All right. I almost want to be there to see one of those things in life because I bet some of the people there are probably so preposterous. Yeah, so weird. Well, that's like going out to dinner in L.A. You see these people walking into these restaurants and it's kind of hilarious. You're like these people are like a meme. I'm like, they're not even real. I'm like, oh my God. So that's what Fashion Week is like.


I, I think it's an entire business built on bullshit. Yeah. It's like an entire business built on like what do you think. And like buzz and all this crap.


Like there's nothing real about it other than what's crazy is our business is kind of like that to where it's like there's no nuts and bolts and it's all pretty much like what where is popular sentiment going? How much can we affect it, how much can be directed? And then there's, you know, eight year olds in Pakistan that make all the clothes.


Yes. Yes. All these things, which is sad, but they need to work.


I mean, we see what happens when you shut down a country. Nobody works. We want eight year old Pakistanis in eighty four. No work.


I wonder what's going to happen with American manufacturing. I wonder if there's going to be a real shift recognizing what a huge problem is, having all our medicine made in China all like there's not a single phone that's made here. Not a fucking phone. Single one. Not a single one. Everybody has a phone.


There's millions of phone. If this makes us rethink all of that and that, we got to be more. I mean, that would make sense, right? Because 90 percent of our antibiotics are made in China. Yeah. Most of our medication. That's crazy.


That's one of the things that I thought was very interesting about Trump was that he was like, you know, listen, these fucking we're getting fucked by China. They're fucking up. And he was right. He was right. But it's just. When he's right about things, those things become wrong, correct, because people don't like him. That's like saying about the politicalization, whether that's a word or not, of hydroxy chloroquine. Yeah. When Sharp got the covid, he took it.


The doctor asked him what his political leanings are. He's like what he's like.


A lot of people don't want to take Hydroxycut Lauchlan because of Trump. Yeah. Is that what I should take? Yes, I was nervous. I was like a history test are like, oh, where do you stand on imperialism? I was like, wait, what? He was just coughing.


It was like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Give me the fucking medication that works. That's crazy.


He was a doctor. What was that?


Any doctor says this helps anybody that doesn't want to take it is to me it's crazy, but it's a strange one in that so many people are against it.


But it's like it's like almost like there's a an article was an article that I pulled up really recently about, oh, here it is.


The key to defeating covid-19 already exists. We need to start using it.


This is a doctor who is a legitimate scientist. Right.


So they're trying to figure out like, why is this? It works from professor professor of Epidemiology from Yale School of Public Health.


He's not a he's not full of shit. He's not full of shit. And he's saying, listen, there's real evidence to show that, particularly in the early stages of this disease before it stops the virus from spreading, it's and it's a malaria disease has been used forever.


But a doctor in New York told me it was like the Lazarus drug, like people just getting up and walking out of the hot, like like people literally that came in with it. If they used it early enough, it was really good. Right. But then you hear these studies where people are saying no, in fact, more people died when they're on it, like, well, what the fuck is true? What is real?


Yeah, I don't I mean, that's when you just have to kind of clock out and go, let's figure it out.


Well, is it because of is it different stages of disease where it's not effective? Is it different like is it old people. It doesn't work on, but it works on young people.


What are the studies? How are you doing the studies? Who's doing the studies? I mean, it's it's all very difficult. Have you done anything different in terms of like taking care of yourself? I take vitamin D, how much I take vitamin D?


I think five thousand. I use it. That's right. I take vitamin D, you start getting some sun. I started smoking because the cigarettes, they said help.


Oh, there was an hour. I'm kidding.


I did every now that I've won one cigarette but I don't smoke smoke.


But every now and then at night covid as a, as a it's a relaxing thing once in a while. Not all the time.


Do you smoke cigars now. I should. Do you want one right now. Now.


OK, Lee, I appreciate it though. I should start boxing. Mike Binder. I know I don't need another habit. Very good. Just start smoking cigars. I don't have to smoke cigars all the time.


I know I have an addictive personality, so whatever I do, I kind of do it a lot. Yes, well, that's the problem.


That's the problem. That's why I got good at comedy. Diaz talks about it like I got addicted to that. You know, that's the whole thing is if you end up getting addicted to something, so you better make sure that it's something good. But I I've been trying to do better things and, you know, swimming a lot, working, you know, working out things like that.


Well, have you ever talked, like when evolutionary biologists talk about addictive personalities and obsessive personalities, obsessive behavior, and they say that you're actually this is very controversial, but I think some of them think that you're actually tapping into a trait that would make you get very successful at things like hunting for survival, like you get obsessed with something. So you want to perfect it. You want to be you're obsessed by it. So you become better at it.


You become more successful. So you survive because you have food.


Interesting. Yeah. Which makes sense. Or Wishaw or combat or things.


We're going to be able to figure out if that's like up to find your ideal trait that a lot of us have. And it gets hijacked by heroin.


Right. Get hijacked by is hijacked by something horrible. Gets hijacked by jerking off. Yeah. Wow. That's what it is. Wow. So you would have been a hunter.


Mm hmm. Yeah. Let's listen. It makes one hundred percent. So it does. It does. I mean it's just it's crazy. It's like in the modern world that that trade becomes sometimes a liability.


Well, in the modern world, there's so many, like the modern world is not natural. Every fucking thing that we do is very recent.


Everything like this is are so unnatural, like the way we see. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what we do for a living has only been around for one hundred years, not even one hundred years. Right.


When there was the first stand up I think it was the mafia started putting you put in these nightclubs together after like vaudeville, like it was started, those type of acts. They started putting brick wall up. Yeah, but I think that was you know, that was it's all very recent. It's in the last century. Yeah. In the last century. And guys like us would have been the M.C.. Right. And it would have been like a fuckin go go dancer and a guy playing the drums.


Yes. Yeah. That's all that we're descended to like, you know, to attend carnivals and circuses.


It is crazy that one of the most prominent art forms in the world, which is stand up comedy, is literally within the last hundred years.


Yeah, but a lot of it, you know. Yeah, but that's true. Well, those young poets. You'd have to get your predecessors to say it like it was probably in the Middle Ages, it was a court jester, right? So there's always been somebody goofing around and being funny. Sometimes they did comedic plays. Sometimes there had to be a guy in the town square yelling and storytellers.


And podcasting is like we're essentially it's it's like other than being a whore or a hooker, it's like the oldest profession because we're just talking sort of, but we're doing it in a new way where people are doing other things and they're getting entertained while they're doing other things, which right now what you and I are yucking it up, there's a guy who's running around a lake. Right. And he's out there laughing his ass off, sweating, and it distracts to shut down his watch.


Holy shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. Yeah, yeah. But it's just it's so simple.


It's like we just talk and things change a lot of that because like musicians change too, because everything would have had it been one hundred percent live performance.


Sure. If you play guitar or Harper and whatever the fuck would have been.


Well that's what I miss. I miss, I love podcasting and I get to do it. And I but I do miss the live. Oh yeah. Experience being in it because everything has context. Life. Yeah. Whydah all these things have no content.


Well I did the Houston Improv, which is the only date that I did over the last few months.


It was like I felt like I was getting away with something I like. And then I realized I kind of have like almost like a low key depression. Right. I'm not doing standup. It's not bad, but it's like. Right. This is what it is. And this is I hate to tell you, all you folks out there, regular people who do not kill, if you do not go on stage and kill, you do not know what that feels like.


It's a high it is not just a high. It is one of the biggest highs in all of showbiz. Life affirming when you and I would do the main room at the fuckin store and you get offstage and murder. Great. And like, you would hand it off to me and things better, oh my God, nothing's better.


It's like the feeling and there's a feeling like I remember like going on stage, like when someone was coming off, like they would introduce you and they would just crush and you looked at their face and you got to see like a face of a person just crushed.


Right. Like, they just and I would always say this, like, I feel bad for people who don't know what it's like to crush.


Yeah, well, it's also like you look at actors and, you know, how fun could that be? It's fun. I'm sure it is. But it can't be anywhere near as fun. No, can't be anyone near as fun.


Interested in the raw, visceral reaction of people like Craig. Geraldo always used to say, like, it's that visceral, you know, feeling. It's not so much it's not like you're getting love, but it's like you're just this it's like this weird, almost like godlike experience you're having in terms of like being able to take a room full of 300 people and bring them with you on a journey. Yes. And take them from where they are to a place where they're hysterically laughing to.


It's like a chemical reaction to change peoples. I mean, that's why I'm going to go do it in a tent.


You give them a drug. It's like, yeah, you're giving them a drug.


Yeah. And I'm not going to do a lot of those shows, but I said I'll do want let me see what it's like. I'm curious as to what it's like and I've shit on them and I, and I still may after I do it. But like I want to see what it's like to just do it in, in, in the circumstances it can be done right now.


Are you going to do one with those driving things you're talking about? I'm not going to do.


I love him, but I'm not going I don't want entertain cars like you sit people in a parking lot. I'm cool when I start performing a Dodge Durango and listen, God bless him. He's got a huge fan base. A lot of people doing it. I think Gaffigan did it. I just personally don't. I feel like that's way too disconnected for me. This is all personal, right? Yeah.


Everybody's going to feel like I love podcasting. I try to be as funny as I can do these crazy rants and that gets a little bit out that I need to get out. Yeah, I would rather do that than perform in front of cars.


Yeah, I don't know man. I think maybe I'm wrong once. I'll try the car thing. You got to try it all. The Burt's doing it all over the country.


He's just on a drive through to what I love about it was like they were like we're shutting down. Comedy is like no we're not. Yeah. It's like we're not.


Yeah, he just got shoveled out there. But it's also, you know, that the thing about covid, it does give you an opportunity, if you're a comic, to sort of sit down and rethink things and also to really appreciate what it's like to do stand up again.


Yeah, that's true. Like when we did that weekend in Houston, like I did it with Moses and Hinchcliffe.


And when we came back, we were like, man, I miss that. Yeah. God, that was fun. Yeah. I mean, I know that I'm walking in a situation where I might I might get off stage and go, oh, fuck this forever because it's a rough you know, it's going to be different. It's not going to be thankful that I'm going to be thankful we're going to buy the tickets sold immediately. And like that, we're put more shows on.


And then it's my home, I from Long Island. So I'm going to have a lot of fun there with the people that come out. And we're I think that because it's going to be a really great place to ease back in, because I'm going to be able to do some material, go off the top my head, know that the crowd is a lot of shared experiences with me.


Because we all grew up in the same place, it's kind of a training wheels to kind of come back in and then hopefully I'm hoping by this winter we're kind of start revving up again because we can't I mean, what are we going to do?


Well, what do we do if covid is like this next August, if we're all the way to next August and still like this? I think we're on the road again.


I think it is a certain time we're going to have to make that distinction because like at the end of the day, how does the economy survive? How does the country survive without the sink? I mean, sports is a meant. People need sports. Yeah. They need to participate, like they need to watch sport. Like, you can't take all of this away forever. I mean, there's all these freaks. Listen, I get the people that the masks that are like coughing in elderly people's faces, no good.


But on the other side you have these people that are like these weird like cat moms that are like wine, drunk, baking bread on Instagram.


It's like, honey, we can't do this for ten years. I know you're happy because you're this weird freak that doesn't like leaving anyway. People need to fucking leave their homes.


Yeah, they need to leave their homes. And there's not a lot of entertainment coming down the pipe either. Not a lot of movies being made. No, not a lot of ways. Entertain yourself. And these studios are trying to figure out ways to film these movies and keep people safe. But it's hard, man. Yeah, they get to quarantine everybody and put them in hotels and it's difficult.


And but that's why I think eventually, you know, New York covid rates are very low. I think that it's going to blow through. I think there might be a little second wave, but I think eventually the viruses weaken, they weaken and they disappear. It happened in 1918, the Spanish flu, they weakened in this one. Weird. Yeah.


Why does the virus weaken? Well, you know, it just I'm an epidemiologist. And what you see is a lot of times the virus is just it goes into the hosts and then eventually the virus like like what causes it?


Is it the people that it just runs through?


It's just like a picture. Somebody that just fucks everybody that you just ran through. They move to the next town. Right.


You just fuck everybody and then you're like, what am I going to do? And then if you fuck like 30 people, by the time you fuck the thirty four, that's barely enough.




So I think this as far as just I mean, I don't know, I don't know exactly how it happens, but it does historically happen. It's happened. Yeah. Historically. I mean do you think this is a different kind of disease though?


I think the big problem is the bigger issue actually now is, is economic, even though covid to massive issue.


I think the bigger issue is how are we going to how are we going to stop twenty eight million people from being evicted or foreclosed on because they couldn't go to jobs. The government literally shut down the economy. These people could not work. So through no fault of their own, they have a real problem here. There's a real, like housing issue.


Not just that. How about the businesses that are closed down? How do you restart a business when you have no money? Correct. What do you do? How do you go? And does the government have money to give these people loans and now get started again?


I mean, I think they have to do something, whether it's universal basic income. I don't know what they're going to do, but that economic issue is going to be really, really massive.


It's so fucking anxiety filled. It is. It's like, how does this end? It's a great movie in Texas.


Don't do that sort of situations in Texas that we all have guns, that we all just sit on our porches all day waiting for someone to come near us.


How often you shot a gun?


A few times. I call upstate New York. I should I mean, I don't have a guy should get it. I didn't think I need a gun when I moved out. And then I'd have to sit by my I sit on my balcony with a gun, you know, seemed relatively safe when I moved in. People were annoying, but I didn't think they were coming to kill me. I didn't think they were coming in my windows to kill me.


But now that I've now that I'm like, yeah, I should get a gun. I think I tend to do second week according to you. I'm sure I get a gun.


Yeah, you're one of them. Yeah, you're one of my liberal friends. I'm not a liberal friend, but what I dislike.


Are you a centrist? I think I believe in pedophile cults and lizard people. I think that's centrist.


I think that's in the center. I'm on the fence with lizard people.


But the pedophile cults are real.


They're all real. I just don't care. I don't care. That's really my political option. It's like I think it's not most of it isn't real. You're making a lot of it real. It's not real. Walk away like it truly.


Like the like people that are real activists. A lot of them have like a degree, like they're a lawyer or a doctor. And then they use their skills to actually help people. Right. And they give up really profitable careers to do that shit. But dude, your Twitter fucking posturing and your virtue signalling it doesn't do anything. It's fake. I know it's fake. And there's just more to life than red and blue and Republican or Democrat.


And all these motherfuckers are trying to kill you and they're all fucking losers and they're all just I mean, listen, they're more capable, like all the shit that they've pulled, the CIA, all these people, they're just too good. They're good. They've beat me. They're going to win. It's going to win, the CIA is going to beat you. Maybe you should join. I don't know who needs to hear. I'd love to, but I don't know who needs to hear this.


But, like, stop investing your emotional all your emotions in your your time and energy into this thing. Like you would be so much better off if you just found something you enjoyed and did it right.


But you don't want them taking away your rights and closing your email account.


Do it. Do it anyway. Are they. Sure do. Don't send fucking butter take taken by the gun. Do whatever you got to do. Like there is no winning here.


Do you believe in a well armed militia? I think that's necessary. Yeah, but look, I mean, you could. Yeah, I'm all for people having guns, but a militia like it seems like more now than ever the idea of forming a militia is in people's going to happen. It'll happen. There'll be skirmishes. There'll be violence in the street. But it's like I was most worried about with Portland. Seattle.


Yeah. At the end of the day, you know, I mean, I don't know, you know, this country is not designed for massive reimagining. That's sad to say. I can say it. I'm a comedian. It is what it is. But the reality is it's just not it's going to disintegrate like everything else that's ever fucking existent on the planet.


And you just hope that the plane lands slowly and doesn't nosedive into the ground. But the best days are over here. The bright light, the hopeful, you know, we're going to the moon.


That's that's not really. You don't think so?


I think we could be in a little bit of a blip when we make a nice resurgence in in a year and a half from now. Everything's looking good. I don't know. I think we just head into a dystopian, insane kind of like tech world where we just all live on can be like reality barely exists. It's a real problem. It's a dystopian world we're heading into.


Well, the real problem is if everything goes into like a ready player, one type situation where whatever they manufacture in a computer with artificial reality is more interesting, that's going to happen.


And listen, most here's the problem. Most people don't care. They don't want these rights. They actually don't. You like them because you're like a successful person. Most people don't give a shit about their rights. They want pizza. They want chicken wings. They want fucking soda. They want cheap credit. They want to go on a cruise once a year. They don't give a shit about their rights. They don't care. They want Netflix and they want, you know, garlic knots.


And that's that's what it is. And you could pretend like America is just not a country like freedom loving. There's a few of those people. Most people just like, hey, whatever, and they're the happiest people. A lot of those people I'm talking about are actually the happier people. They're not trying to build an empire. They're not trying to succeed. They just enjoy, like putting something warm and doughy in their mouth, fetching out and fucking waking up the next day and go, oh, shit, I'm here again.


And they're the happiest. People like to get drunk and go boating.


That's it. They like to get fucked up and go out on the lake, go out on the lake and get railed up and. Yeah, and it's fun when you get to sit around all day, worry about what DARPA's doing. It's like the fun kind of life. Is that gorilla burger. It's over. I mean, it's. Oh yeah. Yeah. The end's not that bad. Ends go as things as ends go. This end happens to be hilarious.


And there's still food in the food stores. Yeah, that's a good point. That's right. I like your optimism.


This is a good end. It's not a bad end. It's not the worst end. I want to see what happens when Joe Biden gets in office.


I sleep a lot. He'll nap a lot.


I don't see what the speeches are like when he forgets what he's talking. He's going to have no clue.


Komala, he'll run for a live four. He'll he'll he'll live for a terminal. He'll comilla.


And if you pronounce it wrong, you're racist. I kolaric dog. I don't know she she's going to run. He'll, he'll do one term and then she'll run. I don't think he'll run for a second term.


He's already told Hillary he'll do one term. She'll come in again. No one will care about politics. She'll be Yats queening all over the place.


If he does run for a second term, he'll be in his 80s. He's not going to run for a second term. She'll she'll run. She knows that. That's what she's pumped.


What do you think? They have to think that through when they when they run for president. Like if you're seventy eight, you're barely hanging on now.


It's probably unspoken, but I think that that's probably I think why he picked her is because she's everybody's vital, yet she everybody's kind of comfortable with her. She's a centrist. She's a cop. She doesn't care. Should put you right in jail. She'll she'll put cuffs on you.


The government, the larger power centers are very happy with her that she'll throw them in the vans.


She'll brandish runs. Who's her VP? God only knows.


I mean, someone else to shares their values, which are here.


It is a static politics and a lot of press all Americans to wear masks.


Three months says for three months he was joined at briefing by his newly named running mate.


Hmm. Let me hear it.


It's a long speech.


Says I want to hear some of it. I just wanna hear his voice.


OK, here goes. Give me some.


And what plans are being made for we talk about significant about the racial disparities that exist and how it is covid-19 is affecting different races differently. And we talked about the continued lack of PPE protective equipment and testing capacity and the like. But and I put out a comprehensive plan over the last three months on each of these things. But today I want to talk about one thing very straightforward. Doesn't have anything to do with Democrats or Republicans or independents. It has to do with a single simple proposition.


Every single American should be wearing a mask when they're outside. But for the next three months, at a minimum, every governor should mandate, every governor should mandate mandatory mask wearing the estimates by the experts are it will save over 40000 thousand lives in the next three months, 40000 lives. The people act responsibly. And it's not about your rights. It's about your responsibilities as an American. That's a bad line. Well, not a great line.


I get what he's saying. At least he got through that without stumbling. He seems to be getting better. They're injecting him with something that was getting better.


Yeah, no, not yet. So they get the alpha brain on an IV drip right into his dick hole. He's going slower now because remember, he used to be fast. He got well, he does have a stutter.


You know, he's always had, like, a bit of an issue. What's the thing? It's like, aren't we like. I don't know, I just it's so depressing that these people rule lost, but then you also go, who even wants this fucking job? And if you're really talented and you don't even want that job and it's a fucking job, I mean, look at this one. She's black. She doesn't know what she is.


She's everything that's for their health, their well-being and for their families. That's what real leadership looks like. And when Joe talks about his priorities, he knows and he cares about the fact that we have as a nation witnessed a hundred and sixty five thousand people who just in the last few months have died in our country. We know that those individuals represent families, loved ones, grandparents, parents, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, sisters, people.


Those are all people she could have put in jail. She's so upset because we could have put handcuffs on all of those, could have been out there fighting wildfires. They could have been working for a Wal-Mart for 10 cents an hour in the Kamala Harris prison program. Yeah. You know, what are you going to do?


It's just it's just wild that these are our choices, Trump or this or this old fellow. But that's what I mean.


It's like this is kind of the beginning of the she makes sense to me as a vice president, like, you know, get away from all the press.


She makes all the right people feel comfortable. Yeah. She makes all the right like all the people that need somebody in there that will, you know, check the boxes, check all the boxes.


And that guy, I don't like them. 20. Who is he? I don't know what Donald Trump. He's wearing a mask. Yeah, we it's not in our effort to defeat Invisible Child a virus.


And many people say that it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you can't socially distance. There is nobody more patriotic than me. Your favorite president.


Yeah, this is. My God. I mean, this is out this is out of a movie tweeted to Bill Maher today.


What did he say? He went off on Bill Maher because Belmar did that thing about him. He did a eulogy for him.


Yeah. Yeah. He said he wouldn't you wouldn't get a eulogy.


So he gave Trump was not happy about that. Oh, my God. Let me just see what he said to. Funny, I didn't see that. Yeah, I got it in here somewhere is actually pretty funny.


He it's just funny that he spent so much time thinking about this. He goes, his ego is the thing, man.


That's the thing that really watched Bill Maher last night for the first time in a long time. He's totally shot, looks terrible, exhausted, gaunt and weak. If there was ever a good reason for no shut down, check out this jerk. He never had much going for him, but whatever he did have is missing in action.


Wow, what a crazy tweet.


The suburban housewife will be voting for me. They want safety and are thrilled that I ended long. The long running program where low income housing would invade their neighborhood. Biden would reinstall it in a bigger form with Cory Booker in charge.


I mean, this is kind of just very race baiting stuff. You know, he's basically like, come out. This is real coded stuff. You know, that's kind of ugly, what they call a dog whistle. Yeah. Dog whistles A new thing, dog whistle is new.


And a lot of the things they say, dog whistles aren't. They're just people are talking. But when you say stuff like that, we like invade, use words like that, like low income housing is invading your neighborhood. You kind of like housewives. We know what you're doing here. Yeah. The Housewives, we know I'm startin climbing in a window. Low income housing, you know, it's you know, but that's what he's this is what he's doing.


Do you think he gets advice to say these things? Do you think these things you. No, I don't think anyone's advising him. I think there's all him. That's what's crazy. Right? He's a he's a creature and a creation of all of the cultural trends that his supporters hate, which are Hollywood and big tech. Well, he is a creation of those two things.


One of the most wild things recently was the the Bubba thing with the NASCAR. With the news. Yeah. Like when he was saying that NASCAR screwed up the lowest ratings ever. And first of all, they had the problem getting rid of the flag like the I mean, the Confederate flag, the Confederate flag.


And not only that, the ratings aren't low.


Yeah. How about what he said to the Fox News anchor when he when they go, well, you know, who's done more for black people than me? And they're like Lincoln. And he's like, well, that's debatable. Yeah. And then she goes, well, we're free, Mr. President. Yeah, you're free.


Like, that's why it's just it's just while he's he's off the cuff, he's not thinking of anybody else, like on the bus. Yeah. It's a narcissist on a level that no one's really ever seen that before in public life at this level. And it's just like he's the worst guy in a crisis. This is the worst guy. You would never you wouldn't want a guy leading a Boy Scout troop in a hurricane during this. Like, this is a guy that just belittles people, vindictive, blames people.


He doesn't take responsibility for anything.


There's a small nest to him. And it's all very funny. Yeah, like, it's all hilarious. But when you talk about leading an organization, it's probably a lot of issues.


There's a lot of issues. Yeah. Look at that hair. His hair just seems to be eased after Trump hair complaints.


What I don't even know what that means was, I mean, talking about how much water comes out of a shower head and then like dishwashers and shit, like people make fun of him for that.


But why hasn't Shaved Head look great? It'd be free that hair so much of his thing did.


I'm not sure yet. It's chaos. It's exactly the hair is like his brain itself. Oh, so showerheads, you can't take a shower. The water doesn't come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesn't come out. So what do you do? You just stand there longer. You take a shower longer because my hair I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect.


Perfect. He says perfect because my hair I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect. That's madness.


Yeah, well, that's what he should be focusing on right now. So stand his hair should be focusing in a hair.


Bill Maher show you Bill Maher looking gaunt.


Yeah, Bill Maher looking gaunt.


I mean, it'll be interesting to see these debates. Are they going to have debates? They're going to have some version.


I think Kamala is going to like I got this. She's going to be good with patterns. She's pretty good. And but him and Biden are going to be very interesting. But I don't know how many people are going to watch. I mean, I think a lot of people will watch depending on the format.


I wonder how many they'll actually have. I mean, they're not going to be able to be in the same room the way they used to be.


I remember when the Hillary thing was going on where he. He was circling behind a street wild, and then you remember the thing where he brought the five women to the debate, to accused Bell Clinton live right now and there's seventy two people watching it know this is the White House.


Seventy two likes now. Can't be seventy two people. That's mean. That's YouTube suppressing their views.


This is their YouTube.


The tambura can't be real White House's Twitter. Well, why don't you click on it again to see if it makes seventy three. Refresh your browser.


Jaimie's part of the problem. You're part of the problem. Each say, I want to hear what he's saying. Let's hear what he's saying. What's he got?


You know, five hundred thousand applications coming in, going all over the state. Nobody even knows where they came from. You saw what happened in New York, which was a nice touch, too, with Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney.


It was a piece of mail in voting, Allen wrote, and we can give you many other locations and sites. What has happened is that's part of a big negotiation. That's actually a small part of a big negotiation.


He likes to do this. Yeah, this could small this is hands here. Here's what I understand.


There's all the complicated stuff. He brings it in. Yeah. In this.


And then it's a master like he's like a master communicator, but he's it's like he's not. But he is it's like a weird thing told that was like a thousand people.


But still I just clicked the and still 12000 people. It's shit. It's not exactly.


Oh for sure. We can go live on YouTube and have one hundred and twenty four million. Five seconds. Yeah. Yeah. That's so crazy. I mean he is, he is. It's been a while. It's very interesting. I wonder about the kids that are growing up under him, like the young kids that have no idea about politics except for Trump, like they've never had any experience with anybody else. This is what they know a president is.


And they're going to vote for the first time when he's in office, 15 year olds or 15 when he got elected president talks.


That's where a lot of those kids are going to this just tick tock. You like dancing and nihilism and just being like, yeah, nothing means anything. And they're right. It's also I mean, imagine being a kid during the formative time of your life. The world gets shut down, you're stuck at home and you can't even see your friends. You can't go to school. You got to do school over a laptop. It's crazy. It's weird.


Crazy. My kids go to school over laptops and I've sat in the room and watched. And those teachers, when no one's watching the teacher, I don't care. They don't give a fuck. They're so bad. There's so apathetic. Yeah. Some of our great enthusiastic teachers. It's I said that on my podcast the other day. I said abolish teachers, defund and abolish.


Is that getting a lot of press? Sometimes I tried to start a movement.


It failed, but I said if we're going to let people please themselves, let kids learn on their own, abolish teachers. OK, so I'm no cops. No teachers. Yeah. What else? I mean, teachers have a much worse track record than cops. If you look at the numbers, well, they don't get paid as much as cops.


Well, but still, if the cops were shooting as many people as teachers were failing, I don't think it's that way. I think that's like teacher, we would have to make cops responsible for suicides to that. But here's the whole thing. Teachers, a lot of them are not doing a good job. Yes, but a lot of kids aren't showing up.


But if those are the those are the education suicides. I know.


But I'm saying that if if a lot of a group if we're going to broadbrush a group, I like to do that. If we're going to broadbrush cops, let's broadbrush teachers, get rid of them, too.


OK, who else? Get rid of garbage people. Take care of your own garbage now. We need them.


We need them when people don't have a job. It's true, that's a universal basic income comes from. Yeah, get rid of it, get rid of cops, teachers, firefighters, you never see a fire.


Let's be honest. I see fires all it's no, you don't need valuated three times. They take care of themselves. The reality is you never see a fire downtown in the city.


These guys put the sirens on. They're going to a movie. They're liars. Sometimes they go down their white supremacists. These firemen are white supremacists. They're not black ones.


Multiracial white supremacy, endemic white supremacy. They don't even know. Yeah, but I don't know.


I mean, there's no there's there's very few good solutions with covid with this. It's like we're going to live in an imperfect world. We have to decide what version of an imperfect world is sustainable.


All right, President. Yeah, you're the president. President. Dylan, what do we do next?


What do we do next?


If you took over right now, we'd have to do a universal basic income for six months.


We'd have to do an eviction freeze. Where's the money come from?


We print it like we've printed everything else.


Yeah, but you know how much money would be involved in universal basic income for how many millions of men? Well, you could also do well.


It's a stimulus. They're doing it right now with the stimulus. Right. I think the bigger problem is the eviction freeze. You'd have to freeze evictions to freeze that kind of freeze and mortgages as well. Mortgages, mortgages and rent. Yes. Freeze. Yeah. You know, I would do that. I think that's the most. But for how long?


How long? Freeze it for four months. Five months. Six, six.


You know, and then then you would have to kind of open back up. You know, I would put all of all of the resources and energy. There's there's not a coordinated federal response at Corona. Total state responses, which I understand makes sense to a certain degree because states are dealing with different things. But there's been a lack of kind of a federal I think like targeted response of like here's what we hope happens. Here's what we get. Because I think right now people are just living without the idea of hope or the idea that something is going to get better or reopen.


And I think that, like, they need that and that needs to be on a federal level, like the country needs to go, hey, we're going to get moving again. We're going to be able to travel internationally. We're going to be able to do all these things we used to do. Here's what needs to happen first. And there doesn't seem to be a huge push for that kind of clarity.


My real fear is the thing that we were talking about earlier, that businesses are not going to have enough money to really to reopen and that money won't be available. So how do you get the economy back on track?


Well, I think it's got to bottom out probably. And unfortunately, you got to protect vulnerable people. But the bottoming out and I don't mean bottoming out completely, but the real estate values being lowered, all of these things happening, you know, Will, it's going to be a years long process. I don't think it's immediate. I think it's years. And I think eventually what happens is, you know, you have a situation where because of economic turmoil, you might have, but yet the businesses you're talking about are probably fucked.


But those people might have a shot in three years when rents are lower and the cost of financing is potentially, you know, probably not lower. But maybe if we keep the cost of financing low, I mean, that's the other thing. Interest rates are going to creep up and it's just going to cost people a lot of a lot more money to borrow money. So much of the economy is run on just this cheap credit that we've had since, you know, Obama's you know you know, Schiff and all those guys explain it.


We're it's just like we're just it's a credit card and we're just basically borrowing money at close to no interest. And businesses are expanding and people are able to get cars and go on vacations and get mortgages when those interest rates creep up. I mean, it's just a perfect storm of problems.


Jesus, it's a lot of trying to end this on a happy note.


I mean, this clock, I'm trying to like, let's let's wrap it up to happiness, OK?


It's over. Enjoy it. It's over. Enjoy. It's over. Enjoy it. Meaning that it's not gonna end like like listen, we're going to limp through this somehow. We're going to be broken and beaten and battered, but we're going to get through it. We need a war with China. We need another 9/11. I hope the people that run us are thinking of those things. And I bet they are. Really?


Yeah. We need a war with China, a war with China.


We need a false flag that gets us into a war with China. But a war with China kills everybody.


It kills a lot of people, but the rest of the people will open up shops, glow in the dark coffee. Hey, it is what it is. I mean, there's no good way out of this. I think we probably need a prolonged war with China. Jesus.


And here's the other thing before we leave, can I say this? Yeah. Kind of see this war China thing. And I don't want that, but we need it.


Who's closer to get us in a war with China, Joe Biden or Trump?


I think I think Trump looks like it. But I mean, I think no matter who wins, which is which is going to need war, could be a cold war. Doesn't have to be a hot war.


Cold War. Oh, Cold Cold War. Cold War. They build the thing. We build the thing. Oh, yeah, we the whole economies fake, we need that. Here's the other thing, Derek. Shervin needs to get Eppstein in prison and here's why. They're not they're not going to convict him on murder two, because it's going to be a hard time proving intent with that body cam footage. So what about the body cam footage?


Well, I mean, I don't know if they can. The body cam footage shows that this you know, that the car that he's out. I mean, listen, everything she ever did was disgusting and and horrible. And but I don't know if you're going to be able to prove to a jury that he intended to kill this guy, murder him, or he was subduing a suspect who was resisting arrest. I mean, he was he was resisting arrest, not at that moment.


But he was like like he was like, listen, when someone's resisting arrest, when they stop resisting, he's supposed to stop leaning your knee on everything he did was indefensible. I'm just that's murder to them. If he dies from that, did he intend to kill him? This is what she did. That's the whole thing. It's intent. So the reality is, I'm not crazy.


That's like if you stab someone, but you didn't intend to kill us.


And I'm just saying he can't get off. He can kick it off. He can't get out. So I agree. So who is that guy? That was Epstein's roommate, the guy with the muscles. Oh, yeah.


He needs to go room with him. That's right. He needs to go room with him more with China shop, the big cop with the dogs. That's what needs to happen. Yeah, these are the solutions, folks. You may not like them, but they're the solutions. Tim Dolan, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for China is the guy.


He's got to kill that guy. We've got to move on. OK, I think we've got it. Looks like he's ready to go.


Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. I love you, buddy. I love you, too. Thank you so much for having always, always a pleasure.


It's it's crazy that I walked in here like I, you know, a little over a year ago and I did this podcast and I had that move and it changed my whole fucking life. It was amazing. Well, and you've done that for a lot of people, so thank you. It's my pleasure. Thank you so much. That's one of my proudest things. The things that makes me most happy about this podcast is it helps people. Thank you so much.


My pleasure. I appreciate it is always a fun time. Thank you. So different. I love everybody. Thank you. Bye. Let's not go to war. Thank you for tuning in to the show and thank you to athletic greens. If you're interested in upping your health routine and you're looking for one of the best, most complete formulas out there, you found it in athletic greens. They deliver straight to your door. Taste great. It's awesome for you.


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Also to Trager Grills my absolute favorite way to cook. I love the fact that it's, it's complicated, it's really well engineered, but it's super easy to use and it's really just fire and wood.


That's it. That's how you supposed to cook caveman style. But for the future visit Trager grills dotcom slash Joe use the code Rogan at checkout for free shipping on the best grill on planet Earth. Thank you my friends. Much loved to you all. Bye bye.