Welcome to today's episode of the Mind Set Mentor podcast, I am your host, Rob Dylon. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button that you never miss another episode. And if you're out there and you want to get my free mini course on how to rewire your brain, go to coach with Rob Dotcom right now, coach with Rob Dotcom, where I teach you the first step of how to rewire your brain, because if you could change your thoughts, you could change your actions.
If you change your actions, change results, if you change your results, you'll have a completely different life. So you had a coach with Rob Dotcom right now. Today, we're going to talk about how to get over the fear of failure that's holding you back from the life that you truly want and everybody else from the life that they truly want. I believe in my personal opinion that fear is the absolute worst thing in this entire world. Let me explain to you why I think that is because it stops people from chasing their dreams.
It stops people from having the life they truly want. It stops people from starting the business that could change their life. Their family's life changed the world. Possibly it stops people from pursuing that dream. And fear is the root of all hate.
Let me explain why I say that, because if you fear something that you don't know, then you're probably going to hate it. And the reason why is because if you knew friends, if you hate somebody, the reason why is because you don't truly know and understand that person, what they've been through, where they're coming from, their past, all of the things that have happened to them. If you knew all of those things and you truly understood them as a person, you could never hate them.
And so fear is the root of all of the bad things happen in this world, all of the wars. You know, I fear your country. So I want to attack you first to make sure that you don't attack us and our countries getting attacked so that therefore, I want to go to war with you because I don't want to die and I want to make sure I protect the people around me as well. So it's fear. It's fear.
Fear, it's fear. And so what I like to do is think about all of the different fears that I have and how they all come about in my life and how to conquer each one of them.
And so the fear of failure, honestly, oddly enough, a lot of times has nothing to do with failure. The fear of failure is really the fear of my insecurities coming to light so that other people see my insecurities or that I have to come up to my own insecurities, because at the centre of every person's fears is I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm going to be rejected.
All of those. The core of those, I'm not going to be a good enough parent. I'm going to run out of money. Fear of success, the fear of failure. All of those the core of them is that I'm not good enough.
And if I fail, then my securities are going to insecurities are going to come to light and I'm going to have to look at them, you know, so a lot of people think I'd rather live a life that's mediocre. You know, I don't think they consciously think that thing. They subconsciously think this. I'd rather live a life that's mediocre so I don't have to go and see my insecurities all of the places where I'm not good enough yet, where I'm not good enough yet, or I fear being judged.
So I won't start a business because I don't want to be judged for this thing or I fear being judged. So I don't want to go out there and do this thing because if I fail at this thing, that will absolutely be judged and then I fear being rejected and that goes into my fear of failure. So the fear of failure at its deepest cause a lot of times doesn't even come from failure itself. It comes from our insecurities that will bubble up if we do fail.
Now, let's talk about failure just in general. When you screw up, I don't even like the word failure.
I'm going to use it a lot throughout this podcast episode, but I don't even see it as failure. I see it as falling, right. I see it as falling.
The only time when you truly, truly, truly fail is when you give up. If you don't give up ever, you'll eventually succeed at whatever it is you're trying to succeed at.
That's the truth. If you just don't give up, you will one day succeed. So you only actually fail when you give up. So as you're starting your business, for instance, and you're messing up and you're messing up and you're messing up, those are not failures. You're just falling. You can get back up from those faults. You can fall, you can get back up from the side, you can fall, you can get back from those faults.
You only truly fail when you give up. So what's the secret to getting past your fear failure? Just don't give up. You'll eventually get used to messing up the guy who created Honda Honda cars. How to? One of my favorite quotes ever says success is 99 percent failure. That that's the truth. Success is 99 percent failure. Most of the stuff that you do won't work, so you might as well become comfortable with the failure. And the great thing about success is that you only have to not fail once.
And if you knock it out of. Mark, get a home run on that one, all your other 99 failures don't even really matter if you think about all of the failures that have happened in this world, how many people, if you look at Abraham Lincoln's life and how many times he failed before he became president, if you think about Einstein, how many times he failed the 10000 times before he figured out the light bulb, there's so many different places where people have failed.
Very successful, successful, successful people have failed over and over and over and over and over again.
And it's like a batter just getting up and striking out all the time. But they only need one homerun and you only need one homerun. So just keep falling. Just keep falling, just keep falling. Eventually you'll figure out what is you have to do. If I look back at my company in the past five years, I've screwed up so many things. You know, my first business when I was twenty one, I was killing it for a little while.
I had like fifty thousand dollars in the bank when I was twenty two years old, lost it on six months. I ran the company straight into the ground, but it didn't stop me from starting another business because I knew that I wanted to start a business doing exactly what I'm doing now. And, you know, if I would have kept just going. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of failure. Then I wouldn't have the business that I have now.
I wouldn't have the impact that happened. I wouldn't be able to do what I truly love, which is this. I'm obsessed with this.
But I didn't just wake up one one day and just my company was doing a couple of million dollars a year. No, it took messing up and messing up and messing up. I've probably succeeded five percent of the time in my business and quote unquote failed. I would say fall at fault. I fell. That's going to say fall in. I fell 95 percent of the time. But that's OK because I succeeded five percent of the time. And those successes are so much larger than the failures.
So a lot of times business or life or whatever it is that you're trying to do, trying to find the right spouse, dating the right person, becoming an incredible parent, sometimes it's just throwing stuff at the wall and just seeing what sticks. And a lot of times you just have to keep throwing and throwing and throwing and eventually you find the thing that sticks.
You know, I remember when I first started the podcast, like when I first started, Pich has been five years now since I started the podcast. I remember reading an article that said the average podcast hosts only create seven episodes and then quits. And so I thought to myself, all right, then all I need to do is create fourteen episodes before I ever launch the podcast. And I'll be twice as far as the average person. Sounds like I'm going to create fourteen.
So I made myself, I buckled down, took a couple of weeks, recorded fourteen episodes and then put the launch date out there and it started getting a little bit of traction, a little bit of traction, a little bit of traction.
Now we're over eight hundred and twenty episodes of this podcast of the Mindset Mentor, you know, and I would have never dreamed I honestly would have never dreamed of this podcast to be as big as it is. You know, it's consistently out of 850000 podcast. The entire world is consistently in the top one to two hundred. I just got a notification that we're the number one. We're the number one health podcast for mental health podcast in the entire country of Australia with a number two business podcast in the entire country of Australia and with a number two education podcast in the entire country of Australia.
So my Australian friends, my Aussies, I love you. Thank you for getting our podcast as big as it is out there. But I would have never thought that people to a country that's so far on the other side of the world I've never even been to it would love my stuff, but it just comes from just putting in the work and putting in the work. And of course, I got you know, I got bad reviews. I got negative comment.
I've got so many crappy comments on so many things that I've done. I've got emails saying that I suck in, that I'm wrong and I should shut the podcast down because I don't know what I'm talking about. But I just kept going. I just didn't stop because this is what I truly wanted to do. So my question to you is, what is your thing that you truly want to do that you love so much that you can go and you can go and you can go and you can mess up and you can quote unquote fail and fail and fail and fail and fail and fail.
But you're going to continue going no matter what, because you love it so much, because you truly believe in what it is that you're doing or talking about or putting out into the world. What is it that you love so much and where could your life be if you stop listening to the fear of that failure inside of your head and you just started and you just started it. And when you do fall, when you do quote unquote fail, what if you just didn't stop?
Where could you be five years from this very moment if you just didn't stop? Because I never thought I would be here. I dreamed about being here and I thought it was possible, but I wasn't sure it was going to happen. I felt like it was going to happen. But it's ten times better than I imagined five years ago.
Where could you be if you decided to buckle down for five years and go after that one thing that you try? We want in mess up and fail and fail and fail and fail and fail and get a success and then fail and fail and fail and fail and fail and get a success and fail and fail and fail and fail and fail again and then get a success. Where could you be five years from this very moment? You could have a completely different life and I mean it completely different life.
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If you just started and didn't stop, I remember years ago I was listening to Jared Leto, he was in an interview and it was somebody, you know, if you don't who Jared Leto is, he's won a ton of awards, is an actor. He's won a ton of awards as a singer as well for his band because they're called like 30 seconds from Mars or 30 seconds tomorrow or something like that. And one of the things that he said is, is that he realized early on at a young age that most people just don't start.
And so he realized that if he just started, he'd already be so much further than the average person, and then he realized that if he just didn't stop because the average person quits, he'd be light years ahead of the average person because the average person doesn't start that one true thing because they're afraid of failure. So if you just start you're already way ahead of the average person. And if you just don't stop, you're light years ahead of everyone else ahead of the competition.
Have the other people that are doing the same thing, where could you be in five years? You have to have this thing that I like to call failure, amnesia, failure, amnesia, because most of the time when we feel fear failure, we're looking at our past and seeing all of the times we failed, we screwed up. We've been broken with the unsuccessful businesses, times we ran out of money, all of that stuff. We look in the past and we see all of our failures instead of looking into the future and seeing what you could create because you're not the same person now as you were when you had those failures in the past.
You're a different person going into this. You're a different person than you were when you failed. You know, I'm a different person today than I was when I ran my business into the ground, almost lost. My car was five months behind on my car payment, lived off of pasta for two months. I'm a different person today than I was back then. So me starting a business is not the same as me starting a business back then. Me starting a business at thirty four years old is not me starting the business.
Twenty two years old. Twenty one years old. Two completely different people. It's like the phrase you never step in the same river twice because that same river has been flowing. It's a different amount of water that's going through there. You're never the same person as you were in the past. So you have to have failure, amnesia and forget about everything that's happened in your past because it truly does not matter. Your failures don't matter. All that matters is that with those failures, you've accumulated lessons to help you succeed into your next venture.
But if you don't start because you're afraid of failure or failing, where are you going to be? You're not going to be anywhere. Remember, you have to think about just even if you look into the past, don't look at the failures. Look at your successes in the past, even if it's just one success. Just look at that one thing. But instead of looking in the past, what I would say is just look to the future of what your life could be if you continued on this path, because here's what I think.
I don't think fear the fear of failure where ever, ever truly, truly go away. One of the biggest misconceptions, I know a ton of really successful people and they are fearful as hell, but people tend to think that successful people are fearless. You always hear like, oh, our fearless leader, that's bunch of B.S. Successful people are just as fearful as an unsuccessful person. The difference is they just don't listen to their fear. They've learned to kind of turn it down and go, yep, there it is.
There's the fear. I feel it. I'm going to do it anyways, because a lot of people, when you feel the fear of failure, you actually have that paralyze you from taking action. So instead of having it paralyze you, what if you had it project, you actually push you into taking action. So next time you feel the fear instead of being like, oh my gosh, I can't do anything, and you actually feel that fear and it closes you down.
What if instead of feeling it that way, it pushed you forward into what you want, you have to have the fear amnesia, because fear will never go away. It will always be there. You just stop listening to it. Successful people are not fearless. They just don't care. They've learned to dance with the fear. That's what I always say. Expect failure, expect falling. It's going to happen.
You're going to screw up so many times, no matter what it is. You are so ridiculously imperfect and so am I and so is every other person in the world. You will never be perfect. There's no such thing as perfection. You're going to screw up so much. So just get frickin used to it and just get frickin started and just don't frickin stop. That's it. That's the secret to success is nothing amazing and beautiful. It's just go and don't stop.
Expect failure you know. I'll fear the fear, feel the fear and just do it anyways. You have to do the same thing, you know, dance with the fear, feel it, give it you know when you feel it go up OK. Yeah. How am I feeling right now? I'm yeah. I'm feeling pretty fearful right now. OK, I'm feeling fearful. Is that going to stop me. No, it's not going to stop me.
I'm going to go ahead and continue doing it anyways because that's ultimately what you need to do to get to where you want to go. So instead of it paralyzing you, allow it to propel you. And here's the issue. The real cause, the real root of the issue is that you've trained yourself, you've classically conditioned yourself to have fear, paralyze you when you feel fear and you don't do it, you are conditioning yourself not to take action when you feel fear.
Pavlov's dogs is the exact same thing. You've heard me talk about it many times. Most likely, classical conditioning is Pavlov's dogs. What he would do is you click a, you know, a bell. They go ding, ding, ding, ding. I give a dog a treat. Ding, ding, ding, then they give the dog the food. Ding, ding, ding. They give dog food over and over and over and over and over again.
And eventually the dog heard the ding, ding, ding, knew that food was coming and they realized the dog would start to salivate. They condition the dog's brain to expect. OK, here's the bell. Here's what you're going to get. Here's the bell. Here's what you're going to get. So if you feel the fear and you haven't been taking action, you will continue to feel the fear and not take action. You have to literally reprogram yourself.
So next time you feel the fear, the only way to recondition yourself is to take action right away.
You have to literally retrain your mind, retrain your body to go out and do what you want it to do. It's simple classical conditioning. You can actually retrain your brain. So next time you feel the fear, identify it. How I feel right now, I'm pretty scared. Crap. OK, I'm going to do it anyways because I know that normally I feel a fear and I don't do anything because I'm so afraid. But I'm going to feel the fear and I'm going to do it anyway this time.
And you do it over and over and over and over and over and over again. And just like the dog is trained, you're retraining yourself to go, well, there's fear, whatever. No big deal. I'm going to do it anyways. Remember this. Expect the fear. It's not going away. Do it anyways. Dance with the fear. Do the tango with the fear. It's there. But I'm going to do it while I do it.
I need to do all the fear. I feel the fear. And remember this. Ultimately, you only have to succeed once. So the ultimate fear should not be the fear of failure.
It should be the fear of a life unlived. Go expect to fail. Expect to fail. Expect to fail. Eventually you'll succeed if you just don't stop. And then it'll make it all of the failures worth it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. And once again, if you want to get my free video training on how to rewire your mind, then right now go to coach with Rob Dotcom.
You can get it there absolutely free. Make sure you have a pen and paper so you could take some notes on it. But go to coach with Rob Dotcom right now and unbelieve the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.