How to Find Mentors
The Mindset Mentor- 2,263 views
- 26 Mar 2021
FYI - Mentors are extremely important! In fact, the average millionaire has 7 mentors before becoming a millionaire. In this episode, I am going to talk about the pros and cons of free and paid mentors.
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Welcome to today's episode of The Mind segment to our podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe. But since you never miss another podcast episode, and if you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cellular device, text me right now. One five one two five eight zero nine three zero five one scan one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five.
Today we're going to be talking about how to find a mentor for yourself, the importance of having a mentor and whether or not you should have a free mentor or if you should have a paid mentor. So I'm going to go into many different aspects of what this could be for you. And we're going to explore every single avenue that you can go down. And I'm going to talk about the importance of having a mentor first. And the reason why is because if you want to have the life that you want, there is somebody out there that has the life that you want in some way.
So why don't you just find them? I know it's easier said than done, but they're out there. Find them, ask them what they did and see if they can help you along the way to create the life that you want.
Now, why would they do this? Well, just so you know, the average why would you do this? The average millionaire, by the time they have become a millionaire, has already had seven mentors. Let me say that again. The average millionaire, by the time they become a millionaire, has already had seven different mentors. Why is having a mentor important? Let me explain this to you. This, I hope, never leaves your thought process, never leaves your mind, you remember?
So there you.
A mentor collapses time. What does that mean? A mentor will collapse time for you. Let me give you a couple of examples. The first example is this.
If I walk into a grocery store, they always say, like, oh, men have trouble asking for directions. They have trouble asking for help.
No, I don't. I want I want to save time. I am a production efficiency type of person. I want to make sure stuff gets done as quick as possible. If you walk into a grocery store, you can walk up and down every single aisle.
Let's say that you want peanut butter, you can walk. OK, I'm going to walk into this grocery store.
I'm going to find some peanut butter, OK? I'm going to walk down this aisle. Then there's 17 different aisles that you can walk down.
You can walk down every single aisle looking to the left, looking to the right, taking your time, trying to find the perfect peanut butter.
And there's a chance you might find the peanut butter. There's a chance you also might miss the peanut butter. And you have to go back around and do all 17 hours again and you find the peanut butter, but maybe you miss it, maybe you get it.
Maybe it takes you some time. Maybe you find it faster than you thought you were going to.
But the importance of it is this. If you wanted to find that peanut butter quicker, you could walk up directly to somebody who works there and go, hey, where's your peanut butter? And have them take you directly to the peanut butter. Why? Because they have been there before. They know where it is.
They know how to get you from where you want to go, from where you are from wanting to go as I need peanut butter to peanut butter in your hand. It takes away the time of searching, it takes away the messing up, it takes away happened to possibly missing it, they literally take you to the peanut butter. That is what a mentor does, right? That person will collapse time for you. Instead of spending four minutes trying to find peanut butter, it could take 15 seconds to find peanut butter.
They have now collapsed time. And you have three minutes and forty five seconds to stuff your face of peanut butter longer than you did before you found that person. That is your peanut butter mentor is a person who works in the grocery store. That is the exact same thing that a mentor does for you.
But instead of collapsing three minutes and forty five seconds, they might collapse 10 to 15 years sometimes. Let me give another example. Let's say you're in California and you're on the beach and you're like, you know what? I would love to go to Hawaii today.
And you decide that you want to go to Hawaii. You could go to Hawaii in a lot of different ways. You could you could go, you know what? I'm going to swim to Hawaii.
Right? Probably not going to make it. But let's say that you do make it. It's going to take you a really, really long time to go swim from California to Hawaii.
You could get a kayak, take the kayak from California to Hawaii.
You could rent a boat, you could get a speedboat and you could speedboat it from California all the way to Hawaii.
Or you could get on a plane and you can have the plane take you from California to Hawaii, which I guarantee the majority of people listening here are going to take the plane. Right. Or you could get a private jet to get you to go from California, Hawaii, and that's going to move faster than anything else.
So one of them could take you months if you were to be able to somehow figure out a way to swim from California to Hawaii, or if you were to kayak from California to Hawaii, one of them would take you hours.
That is the same thing that a mentor does, they collapse, Ton, you're still going from California to Hawaii, you're still going from broke to Millionaire, you're still going from broke to successful from non successful business to successful business, whatever it is that you're trying to do. But a mentor will take all of the time that it would take you to find the peanut butter or any of that stuff. Go to Hawaii and then collapse that time. A mentor is somebody who has done what you want to do.
They have what you want, right? Either they've done what you want in business. They've done what you want in relationships. They've done what you want in money. They've done what you want in mindset. They've done what you want in your body.
Whatever it is, they've done what you want in singing music. Right.
You could get there's mentors for literally everything that you could possibly want. There is somebody who is really good at something that you want to improve. You can either spend time messing up as much as you possibly can or you can just find someone to either do it for free for you and help you because they're out of the goodness of their own heart. Or you can find somebody that will actually you could pay them for their time because it's worth it to condense that time.
Right.
I hired my very first mentor, my very first coach when I was 19 years old, because I saw the value in hiring this person to help me. And I paid 500 dollars a month for this mentor. I paid three hundred fifty dollars a month for rent. I paid five hundred just to have this person coach me and talk to me for thirty minutes every single week for two years. Right.
He was successful. He was actually the fastest rep ever sales rep ever in the history of this fifty year old company to get to five hundred thousand dollars in sales. So I thought to myself, I can either go and I can try to figure it out and I can go on these appointments and I can screw up a lot of stuff. Or I can hire this guy that by twenty one years old, had had five hundred thousand dollars in sales and the Hall of Fame in this company, the fastest anybody but anybody had ever done it.
Why don't I just pay money?
To learn from the best. Doesn't that make sense, like if you sit there and think about, you're like, OK, did it take money in my bank account? Yes. Did it speed up my process of being successful in that company? Yes. This guy changed my mindset. He changed my bank account. He changed my relationship with personal development. He literally changed my life. It was worth every dollar times 100. Now that I've fast forwarded 16 years.
And I look back to that myself at 19 years old, I'm like, that was the best money I've ever spent by far.
Right. So now what I try to do is I try to have a mentor in all areas of my life, in every air that I possibly can in my business. I have many mentors in my relationships. I have friends that have great relationships, that are great with other people, that have great relationships with their significant other that have great relationships with everybody around them.
I have friends and mentors in money, in mindset, in my body. I have a personal trainer that I pay for, a nutritionist. There's you know, I'm starting to get back into playing basketball again. I've hired a coach to actually coach me one on one to help me with my shot to try to get it back because I lost it back in high school.
I have a mentor and a coach in every area of my life that I want to improve it.
Now, I realize some people listening to me right now, you're like, I don't have a whole lot of money to hire all of these different mentors. Different place. That's completely fine. But I'm telling you, though, is if there was one place that you want to improve that more than anything else, what would it be? Right. I will pay someone money to save me time. And some of you guys are out there like, well, I don't have any freakin money.
So how do I do that? Well, there are some free coaches while three mentors and we'll talk about that as well.
But it is so worth it, in my opinion. My personal opinion of now being six years deep into doing this and to to working with different mentors and coaches, it is so worth it to pay someone to collapse time because I get to success way faster.
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And so some people, they keep messing up your life. They keep messing up in the relationships, in the business and their finances and their mindset, all these different things. They can't figure out why they keep messing it up. A lot of times it's because they don't have the right mentor.
They don't have the right like a lighthouse that is someone in their life that shows them exactly how it should be done so that they can follow in their footsteps. It's so much easier when you have somebody who can be a mentor.
Right. I'll give you a perfect example. I teach people how to grow coaching businesses. Why? Because I've already built a multi-million dollar coaching business. Right. I've messed everything up that you could possibly mess up. I found out what works. I found out what doesn't. And I can you know, I can save someone five years of trying to figure it out if they want to. And they get to the peanut butter quicker. That's the way that it works, right?
So what is it that you want to improve it? Like if I ask you right now, sit, sit here and think about it, what is it that you want to improve it in your life? Maybe it's your business.
Maybe it's your relationship with your significant other. Maybe it's your relationship with your children.
Maybe it's your your body. Maybe it's your health.
There's something out there. What is the go find the mentor in at least one thing.
And what happens is when you find a mentor, whether you pay for them or whether they're free and you work with them and you see how they collapse time, you're like, I'm never not working with a mentor again. And then what happens is you start working with more mentors and it's funny because your life improves exponentially very quickly, your skill set in a lot of things will improve exponentially very quickly. And the reason why is because you've learned the benefit of having the right people around you to support you, to create the life that you want to.
And so some people are like, how can somebody go from from where they are not having any experience and something to really successful in a couple of years? I guarantee you, they are surrounding themselves with mentors. Free mentors are paid mentors that are helping them succeed at a really, really high level. Right. So, so many people I know. That send me messages, Rob, I want to succeed, Rob, I want to do this, I want to do this.
They I asked I sent a message back and I talked to them.
They have no mentors around them. They've never even search for mentors. And I'm like, you got to find people that are going to be in your corner right now.
A lot of people ask, well, what would a millionaire get from me? You know what what do I what value do I have to give to this person?
I can't give them money is not going to do that much. I don't have value to give them.
One of the crazy things about it is that if if someone connects with you, let's say you want to be successful, let's just use that. And you can this can be anything.
This can be you know, you can get a meditation mentor if you wanted to. You could get, you know, a body mentor. It doesn't have to just be, quote unquote, success financially that we're talking about. But let's just go down that route. If somebody is out there, they've already got all the money that they want and they see you and they connect with you vibrationally, they're like, I like this kid, I like this guy, I like this girl.
We're vibin in some sort of way. And they see and not everyone's going to vibe with you. So that's an important thing to realize. But they see a piece of them in you almost always.
They've got all of the stuff that they want in what fills them up. It's not making more money.
What fills them up is seeing you succeed. And so, so many times I see people like I have no value to give them. Right. It's not about not it's not about giving them value. It's about filling up their cup by seeing by feeling like they helped somebody else succeed.
Right. That's the thing you have to realize. So if you think that you have no value, get that out of your head, I guarantee.
Have some value to give people. Right. So there's free mentors and there's paid mentors. Let's dive into both of them. Free mentors are great. Why they don't cost you any money. Right. I've many friends of mine that I've worked very hard at over the past six years to get into the right circles of people, to provide the value to help them out. They help me out. Then, you know, it's it's a very incredible relationship.
When you help someone out, they help you out. And there's massive benefit to having friends that. Our great mentors that are further ahead than you in certain aspects of your life so that they can help you in just being around them, you will hold yourself to a higher level.
Right. The thing is, maybe you've seen on my Instagram stories every single Wednesday, I go and work out with a group of men, 15 to 20 men, almost every single one of them has a very successful business. And just being around them and seeing what they're doing on Instagram and being around them in conversations make me hold myself to a higher standard just because I'm like I'm not going to hold myself to a lower standard.
I want to hold myself to at least the standard that everyone else I'm surrounding myself with. Right. I always say that, you know, your network is your net worth, like it will determine it that you're the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.
Who are the people you spend the most time with?
If you spend time with five alcoholics, you're probably going to be the sex. You spend time with five people who are overweight. You're probably going to be a sex. If you spend time with five millionaires, you're probably going to be the sex. We spend time with five people who are extremely fit.
You're probably going to be the sixth, I guarantee if I were to get your five closest people to spend the most time with and I would compare your bank accounts, all of the bank accounts and all of your bodies, they're all pretty damn close. They are that's the crazy thing about it, you're going to be the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so free mentors are great, but. There is something bad about free mentors is they don't feel morally obligated to help you succeed in something.
Right.
And they can't be hard to find as well. It can be hard to find somebody that becomes a friend. That's great for you that you vibe with, that you want to connect with, that you get value from, then they get value from you and all that stuff.
They can be hard to find. And it takes time to find these people years sometimes to build up the right network of people. Right.
I can tell you that because I've spent like six years now building up the right now people in and it's great.
It's taken me years to get there. But some people don't have six years that they want to spend into building that network. And they want it now because everybody wants everything. Now, that's just the way that it works. Right. So free mentors are great. They're amazing. But also the same time there is a downside.
A downside is they don't feel morally obligated to your success. That's the reason why if we jump into the next section, which is paid mentors, that's the reason why paid mentors are great, is because in many ways there's so much better. And the reason why is because they will hold you accountable if I pay money.
To a fitness coach and I pay money to a nutritional coach, they are not going to want to see me gain weight, they are not going to want to see me look worse. They are not going to want to see me miss my workouts or text them and tell them not to come over.
There is an extra level of accountability that they are there and they help me write.
If I hire a coach for, let's just say, mindset, right, I want to hire a coach for mindset, we're going to talk every single week. That person is going to make sure that my assignments from last week are now completed.
That's a whole other level of accountability in your success in whatever it is. Is their obligation, if I hire somebody to help me be better in my relationships than my relationships success, they feel they're obligated.
There's an obligation there.
So they feel like they're responsible for your success. They also feel like they're responsible if you fail. And so what happens when you have a paid mentors? Number one, the frequency that you talk to them is usually a whole lot more.
The amount of accountability that they give you is a whole lot more. And the tough love that they give you as a whole lot more as well.
So. It all depends on what you want, so when you're looking at the life that you want to create. I know that when I was 19 years old and I hired my first coach for 500 bucks a month, I did not have 500 bucks in my bank account, but I did have a credit card. And I was like, I'm going to figure it out because I just don't want to be broke anymore.
I don't want to be broke anymore. And that was it. And that was enough motivation for me to go.
I'm going to put on my credit card. I'm going to figure it out now.
Some people will do that and some people will jump off the ledge like I did and some people don't want to.
It's completely up to you, whatever you want. If you want a free mentor, then make it your mission to go to as many networking events as you possibly can meet people, go get coffee, see who you vibe with.
When you find someone you vibe with, going be around their friends, get them around your friends, see if you can get into their network, they can get into yours and you guys can start to help each other out and help each other grow. That's a super important aspect of it. On the other side, if you're like, you know what, I want to condense time quicker and I want to find someone who's really good at finance, someone who's really good at investments, was really good at body, someone's really good at basketball.
Someone is really good at playing the guitar. Someone's really good at running a business. Some of that's already a millionaire. Someone's got a successful relationship. I will pay that person so that they can help me succeed in that one thing because I don't want to search up and down the aisles and up and down the aisles for the next five years. I want to succeed fast and that sometimes is going to require money. So if you're willing to part with your money in a lot of cases, a lot of times those people will be able to help you and they will feel obligated to make sure you succeed because they don't want to see you fail.
Why? Makes him look like a shitty coach, makes him look like a shitty mentor. They want to see you succeed and they feel obligated to do so.
So once again, the importance of finding mentors cannot be understated. You can either find yourself a free mentor, you can find yourself paid mentors, I recommend both in many areas of your life, whatever you want to improve that.
They're both amazing.
But the point of a mentor once again is to collapse. Time to get you to where you want to be way faster than if you were trying to figure it out on your own.
So that's what I got for you for today's episode.
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I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.