Hey, everybody, we had so many people that wanted to join in on yesterday's live lesson, but they weren't able to. So I decided to run it back. So we're going to be doing one more live Zoome call today. We're going to be teaching the science of rewiring your brain so that you can create the future that you want, because if you can understand how your brain works, you can change your thoughts, which change your feelings, which change your actions, which change results, which change your life.
So if you want to join us, all you got to do is go to dialed in mindset. Dotcom once again dialed in mind set dotcom right now. And I can't wait to see all your pretty faces on the Zoome call today and answer all your questions as well. I'll see you there. Welcome to today's episode of the Mind Set Mentor podcast, I am your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe Button said you never miss another episode.
And if you're out there and you want to see receive receive motivational text messages for me inside of your phone throughout the week, send me a text message right now, five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Once again, one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Today we're going to be talking about how to support the people that are around you to grow into who they're supposed to be, but also how to make sure that you become the person that you were put on this earth to be.
So is this an important episode? Hell, yeah. I would say it's a pretty frickin important episode when we're going to talk about this.
And to start off, I want to give you an analogy. Have you ever, like, actually sat down and thought about how amazing a seed is?
Like if you've ever just held a seed within that seed is, even though it's this little, teeny, tiny thing, is the potential to grow into something amazing and beautiful if it's treated the right way, if it's taken care of, that little teeny tiny seed will grow into something amazing and beautiful. Sometimes if you get a little bit of a bigger seed, it could turn into a massive tree. But within every single seed is the potential to become this big, amazing plant or tree or flower.
And I want to talk to you about the kind of dive into the seed itself.
But I want to talk to you about a flower going that seed root and a gardener.
Now, what is the gardener's job to do with that seed and what that flower what is his job to do?
His job is to allow the seed to become what it is supposed to be, right.
To give it space, to nurture it more than anything else, to treat it exactly how it needs to be treated, to give it water, to give it son, to give it air, to create the space for that little teeny tiny seed, that flower, to become the best version of itself, to grow to its highest potential.
And the more that it takes care of it, the more that seed will become what it is supposed to become. Now, what happens if it doesn't get all that? What happens if it doesn't get the water that it's supposed to get? What happens if it doesn't get the amount of sun that it's supposed to get or maybe too much sun? What happens if it doesn't get enough air? It doesn't grow to its full potential to seed the flower does not become the flower that it could become and is supposed to become.
Let me ask you a question. What if the gardener goes up and takes a mason jar, flips it upside down and puts it on top of that flower? What would happen to it?
It would restrict its growth, right? It might become weaker because it's under that Mason jar. They might start to have its branches in its leaves and everything starts to wither away and fall off. It might kill the leaves and it might even kill the flower. So a gardeners job only job is to nurture that seed, to become the most beautiful flower that it could possibly come in through the nurturing that flower becomes the best flower that it could possibly become.
Its job is not to change it. He's not supposed to change it. He's not supposed to restrict it. It's just supposed to nurture. That is the only thing that is supposed to do. So now, I want to take that analogy and I want to put it into your relationships.
I want to talk first about the people that are in your life and how you're showing up for them. And then I want to talk about you and how the people around you are showing up for you.
So in your relationships, if you're the gardener, right, every person that around you that's around you has this ultimate potential of what they're supposed to be, what they're supposed to become and who they could become if they have the right environment to do so.
So if that's the case, how are you showing up for the people that are around you? How do you show up? Do you nurture them? Are you really nurturing for them, for their ideas, for their hopes, for their dreams, for their desires? Are you watering them?
Are you giving them enough light? Are you giving them enough air?
You are helping those around you bloom to their true potential. Are you?
Your job is to help them grow into who they want to become, who they were put here to become.
Not this is very important, not what you want them to be, not what you want them to become. So if we talk about, for instance, let's take your significant other right.
And you could take anybody and put them in this position. But let's just talk about your significant other.
Are you trying to mold them into what they could be and help them grow into that? Or are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be? Are you trying to make them into what you think they should be and push them into what you think they should be doing? Or are you sitting there are nurturing and loving them?
No matter what it is that they're going through, are you trying to help them grow or are you trying to change them? Think about that for a second. It's important question, are you trying to help them grow into what they truly feel deep down inside they want to become, or are you trying to make them become who you think they should become?
How are you showing up for them? What type of gardener are you for the people that are around you?
Now, let me ask you, if you have children, how are you showing up for your children? Are you restricting their growth or are you not allowing them to do the things that they want to do? Are you trying to force them into the hobbies and the sports and the activities that you want them to be doing if they want to be artistic?
Are you trying to, you know, shut that off and make them go play sports or if they want to go play sports? Are you trying to shut that off in trying to make them go into music? How are you showing up for them? Because ultimately there's something inside of them that says, I want to go do this. Whatever you want to call that intuition.
God, whatever it is, it's inside of them that's giving them the drive to go do this one thing. Are you trying to push them in a different direction or are you saying, OK, this is your interest, how can I support you? How can I help you deepen that interest? How can I help you get better? Or are you trying to restrict them the same way that if you were put a mason jar on top of a flower, it's not going to grow to its true potential?
So think about that. I know a lot of parents that restrict their children, are you so afraid of what they could have happen to them that you don't even allow them to go and experience the things in life that they're supposed to experience because you're so terrified of what could possibly happen to them out in the real world?
Because we all know we have to go through stuff to grow. So are you trying to keep them away from all of the struggles of life?
Are you trying to keep them away from everything they can help them grow into who they want to be? You know, I remember this. It reminds me of this really sad story. One of my friends, their their grandmother died and their grandfather was still alive. And so they went up into the attic and they were starting to help clean and, you know, changed some things around the house. They would have been to the attic and they were sifting through things in the attic and they found these beautiful paintings like these amazing paintings.
And they could tell they were old, old, old, old, old paintings.
And there was like four or five of these things are incredibly these are beautiful. Whose are these? So they take them down to their grandfather and they're like, hey, to grandma, paint these.
Like, who? Who painted these?
Where'd you get them from? He's like, no, those are those are my paintings from when I was younger. And they're like, you painted like we we've never seen you paint. I never knew that you were a painter. And he's like, yeah, you know, I only painted up until, you know, my my late teens. And I try to keep it away from my dad because he wanted me to go into sports. And this is a true story.
So don't take my words of what I'm about to say, as if I'm saying them. But what he said was, you know, he told me I couldn't paint him more because it was too gay. Right. Like so in the 30s or 40s, whatever this was, it was seen as, quote unquote, gay to be going and becoming a painter.
And so he shut it off and he never painted again. Just just think about how terrible that is, that a child has this natural inclination, this this great talent and skill to go do something and that he just shuts it off.
I never want to be that person for the people that I love. I don't know about you. Do you want to be that person for the people that you love? I don't. I want to help them grow. If I see a talent or a skill that they have, I want to help them get better and deep in that interest, in that skill of what they have.
So then, you know, now that he was free and he was older and they said, hey, grandpa, what if we just gave you some painting supplies, they brought over some painting supplies and he started back up again and he made this amazing, beautiful paintings and it was like he came alive again. There was a piece of him that died 50, 60 years ago, and he was able to bring it back to life.
Think about that, are there places in your life where you're restricting people that you love and not allowing them to flourish when really you should just be there, support them? And it's it's sad.
I never want to be that person for someone that I love. But how many of us are doing that and not in big ways like, hey, don't paint, but little teeny tiny things.
We're trying to mold them in little. Hey, don't do that. Hey, don't don't make those jokes in public. Don't speak up. Hey, John, don't say that. Right. Just a little teeny tiny cuts. It's like death of a thousand cuts because of all these little teeny tiny restrictions. And slowly but surely, slowly but surely, slowly but surely we restrict who we truly want to be.
Oh, don't dance in public. You look stupid, right? How many times have you done something like that? Told someone not to say something that they thought was funny, told somebody not to dance or they wanted to told somebody not to do this? It's like death of a bunch of little teeny tiny million cuts that's out there. Your job is not to change those around you and to modern man who you want them to be. It's to help them become who they were put here to become.
I don't know about you, but I have to believe that everybody has some sort of role that they're supposed to play on this earth.
Whether you want to call it God gave it to them, the universe gave it to them, or it's just something that's deep down inside of them.
I believe that everybody has something that's deep inside them that they want to bring out to the world.
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So now that we've talked about the people around you. I want you to think deeply about that and now let's dive in and talk about you now that we've talked with the people around you. We're going to dive in.
We're going to talk about you. How are you showing up for yourself? How are you showing up for yourself and how are the people around you showing up for you? Are they nurturing? Are they supportive? Do they believe in the same things that you believe in when you pick up a new hobby? Do they talk about how amazing that is or do they try to cut you down when you go for a big goal? Do they try to motivate you and support you along the way?
Because we all need motivation, motivation, support from the people that we love for big goals, or do they try to chop down your goals when you succeed? How do they react? This is a really big thing. When you succeed, how do the people around you react? Are they celebrating with you? Are they as happy as you are about your success, or are they trying to poke holes into every little success that you have? Are they trying to show you how your success isn't that great or how they once did better?
Do they try to one up you on everything? Think about that.
When they when you succeed, how do they show up for you? Usually you can really find out who's in your corner at that point in time. Are they allowing you to bloom into who you really, truly want to be or same thing?
Are they trying to mold you into who they want you to be?
Are your significant other your significant other they showing up for you, your family members, your mom, your dad, your friends, your lifelong friends you've had for so long.
How do they show up for you? Think about that. Most people don't think about the people that they surround themselves with, you know, if a flower doesn't grow. Sometimes it's not the flowers fault, most of the time it's not the flowers fault.
You don't try to change the flower. You try to change the environment of the flower, the amount of sun that it's getting, the water that it's getting, the location, the air.
Think about that for a second. Some people are not nurturing you into who you truly want to be and ultimately are supposed to be.
So maybe the problem with your growth in life hasn't fully been just you know, it probably has a lot to do with you for sure. I do want you to realize that. But it's also really hard to grow when there's other people around you that are just, like I said, putting a Mason jar on top of a flower and trying to hold you back because your growth makes them feel like they're not doing enough or makes them feel insignificant. And so they try to chop you down and make you restricted in any way that they can.
So maybe the problem isn't fully you. Maybe it's your environment, maybe it's your gardeners. Maybe it's your lack of gardeners in your life.
Think about that for a second in your life. And I don't want to ask this question to depress you, but in your life, who is on your side 100 percent? Who is there for you, no matter what, to support you, to help you, to always want to see the best for you to celebrate your growth, who's on your side? One hundred percent. Think about those people real quick. Think about them in your mind. And I'm going to ask you this question.
Who's not on your side 100 percent? Maybe it's time to let them go. Maybe it's time for them to they've played the role in your life for as long as they've been there, but maybe it's time to let them go, see if someone is restricting you are holding you back from who you are supposed to be.
Maybe it's time to release them, not to kick them out or to get rid of them completely, but release them.
They've played their role because ultimately, sometimes you have to release certain people so that you can grow into who you're supposed to be. You can still love them from afar. We don't have to spend every single day with them. And it's OK.
Sometimes life gets hard and requires you to release people. I've had to release friends, some of my best friends in the world, and I can still be nice to them and still hang out at them every once in a while, every couple years when I see them or and I go in the town that they live in. But I don't talk to them every day. Because we're just going different parts and that is OK. Whoever says that it's not OK to grow apart from some people is wrong.
It's OK to grow apart from some people.
So then if you're starting to release some of your gardeners who suck at gardening, how can you start to get more gardeners in your corner, more great gardeners in your corner, people that love you, people that supports you no matter what, people that want to see the best for you, because I believe that we all have purpose in this world. Some of us are here to be incredible parents. Some of you listening to this are incredible parents. And you are here to do that.
And you were doing amazing at that role. How can you deepen that sense of purpose and become even better at raising amazing children? Some of you listening to this, some of us are healers.
You're here to heal people. And I'm not just talking about through it.
Like if you're a doctor or surgeon or nurse, I'm talking about you can heal people mentally, you can heal people emotionally. You being there for a friend sometimes is more healing than anything else that they could have.
Some people are here to be teachers. Their skill is to teach. How can you deepen that, how can you get better at that? How can you find more people that supports you in your role of being a teacher? Some people are artists. There's so many different roles.
What is your role? And if money wasn't an object, if it wasn't something you had to worry about, would what would you do with your time? Who would you fit in and what role would be you 100 percent. If you're like, this is who I am and how can you get better at that and then find people who help you get better at that and want to see you get better at that as well.
Because ultimately, I want you to think of two things. Two things in this episode are extremely, extremely important.
One thing about number one, I want you to ask yourself this question. How am I showing up for those that I love? How am I showing up for those that I love? Am I being a gardener? Am I nourishing them? Am I nurturing them? Am I watering them? Am I giving them enough sun? Am I giving them enough love my you know, helping them to become what they truly want to become or am I restricting them?
Am I walking through a flower bed just stomping on every single flower that's around me? Think about that, how are you showing up for those that you love? And number two, what does my environment look like?
The people that I surround myself with, the people that are supposed to be in my corner, who is in my corner and wants the best for me, who's in my corner? One hundred percent no matter what. And who's not and who do I need to get rid of, it's OK to let people go, it's OK to release people and what do I need to change about my external environment? What is it that I need to change?
We all change. We all grow. And just as a flower, if you've ever seen a flower, sometimes it releases some of the petals and lets him go. And sometimes there's people in your life that their time is gone and you're trying to basically take off their pedal onto your flower.
No, it's time to just let it will turn away and go so that you can grow a new one, so that you can become your truest potential, because ultimately there's a people that are around us that we love, that we need to focus on and be the best possible gardener that we can be and nurture them. And number two, there's the environment around us and the gardeners that are around us that we need.
We need people to nurture us and to be on our side as well.
So just like the seed, a little teeny tiny seed that has this amazing amount of potential, we're all filled with a massive amount of potential inside of us. Our job is to be here and to live up to that potential and to be there for others and allow them to become who they are supposed to become as well. So think about the people around you and think about the people that you surround yourself with that you're supposed to be guarding for as well.
Think about you as a gardener and think about your gardeners.
So that's what I got for you for today's episode.
If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and someone that you love. And also, if you're out there and you're at the position where you're ready to finish this year strong and you want to actually change your brain to become the person who you want to be, because if you change, you change your brain, you change your thoughts. If you change your thoughts, you change your actions. If you change your actions, you change your results.
I have a brand new course, my first ever big time course coming out called Change Your Brain. I'm actually going to be helping you rewire your brain over the course of eight weeks.
That sounds interesting to you. And you want to learn more about it. You can go ahead and sign up for the wait list. All you have to do is go to rewire twenty twenty dotcom.
You might have to put dot rewire twenty twenty dotcom sign up on the wait list. The first 100 people who join on the wait list who join the course are going to get one hundred dollars off the course. And so it comes out this Wednesday. I'll be announcing the website this Wednesday. So if you're out there and you're like, you know what, I want to grow, I want to get better, I'm going to be giving the people on the waitlist the code to join in 24 hours before I announce it to the fully to the public and start giving out to everybody.
So if you want to get the discount, you're definitely in that. I'm going to tell you, you want to go to rewire twenty twenty dotcom sign up on the wait list. I would love to take the journey with you. And it's over the course of eight weeks. I'm going to be going live twice a week teaching you how to rewire your brain and become the person you want to be. So if you're interested in it, go to that website and I'm going to leave you the same way.
I leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.