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Welcome to today's episode of The Mind, set into our podcast. Amy Holmes, Rob Dial and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe then since you never miss another episode. Ian, if you want to receive motivational video text messages directly to your cell phone, text me right now, one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Once again, one five one two five eight zero nine three zero five. Today we're going to talk about how to make massive changes in your life.


And before I do, I want to bring up something that I've brought up before in the past. And I want to just give you a quick example and see how this relates to you before I talk about how to actually change yourself.


So let's say that you have somebody who comes up to you and they need your help, right. That don't even necessarily need your help, but you could give them help. And it's just a random person on the street and they need your help.


You can either help them or you can help somebody that you really hate, someone who has screwed you over in the past.


Maybe they cheated on your boyfriend with you or what she done had your boyfriend cheat on you with them, somebody who really screwed you over in the past and you could help them.


That's person B or person C is you can help one of your friends who's been your friend and had your back for years and years. And you only can pick one of them who all need your help.


Who would you help? You probably help your friend, right.


Why? Because that's somebody who you're close to, someone who's been there for you, someone who's loved you, someone who you love and you want to help people who have helped you. You want to love people who love you.


And the reason why I bring that up is because I want to bring up a thought of changing yourself, changing your life, changing your circumstances, changing your body, change your mindset.


And not too long ago, I was at an event. She is about a year ago now. I'm thinking about it.


Before the whole covid thing happened, I was at an event.


A lady stood up and she said, my main goal for this year is to lose all of this fat because I hate the way I look. I want to look good, she said she like I want to look good in a bikini. I hate the way I look. I've hated this body for so long.


And now it's time for me to go and get my as she said, my Jaylo body is what she said. And I was like, that's cool.


But I think that she's actually thinking about it from the wrong taking. Take it from the wrong perspective. Can you change something that you hate? Absolutely. Of course you can. And you can force yourself to change that thing.


I have gone to the gym and worked out really, really hard because I hated the way that I looked.


And it's possible to hate something so much that you actually change it.


But there's a whole lot of resistance, I don't know how it is for you, but there's a whole lot of resistance in my mind to hating something and changing something just because I hate it. So I can go, you know what? I hate my body. I hate the way it looks.


I don't like the way that I look in a bathing suit or whatever it is. I don't like how I'm not as muscular as these people and I hate my body and I'm going to fucking change this thing and going to work really hard to change it. That's what I'm going to do. And I've done it before. And you could put your head down as bash your head into a wall.


Just go and go and go and go and go. But when you come at anything with that type of force, there's going to be resistance that's going to come back at it.


Usually when you swing really hard one way, you swing really hard the other way.


That's what I've come to find out.


And so you could change your body by hating it or you could love your body so much that you want to change it.


So another example of changing your body could be this. Let's say, for instance, you sit back and you think and I want you to try to think of all of the things that you've put your body through.


Think of all of the nights that you haven't gotten to sleep that you needed to think of.


And I can think of this for myself. Think of all of the alcohol that you've drank. Think about all of the drugs that you've done. Right. I have had many sleepless nights. I've done many different types of drugs. I've done I've probably drank more alcohol by the time I was thirty years old than the average person should in their entire lives. I've had competitions to see who could get drunk the fastest, who could get high, the fastest, who could take the biggest bong rip.


I've done everything. And still this body works. I've eaten crappy food.


I've eaten greasy food, I've eaten sugary food. I mean, all the food my body doesn't like and still it works. Holy shit, this thing's been taking care of me even though I haven't been taking care of it.


So I can come to the perspective of I hate my body and I want to change it or I can take a step back. Shift my perspective, shift my angle and go look at all of the times that I haven't been there for my body, but my body's been there for me all that it's helped me when I haven't helped it, all the stuff that I put it through. And it still shows up every single day and works pretty good.


That's pretty amazing.


What I should do is actually love my body because my body's been doing a lot for me for a really long time.


And so with my shift of perspective now, I can go out and say I love this body so much I'm not going to not take care of it.


There is nothing that could convince me that I need to eat that greasy, crappy food, because now I'm on I'm on my body side. I'm taking my body side versus my taste buds side. There's nothing to convince me that I need to get wasted and have a hangover tomorrow because I'm on my body side.


I know that's not good. If I'm got a hangover, that's a withdrawal from alcohol the very next day. Clearly, that's not good for my body. And then I can look at it and say, you know what, actually make my body work better if I did work out every single day, if I did get movement every single day, if I did do cold showers or cold plunges and one in Sana's and started to go to chiropractor's and started to try to fix everything, man, I love my body so much.


And it's been there for me for so long through so many things that maybe I should have its back.


Now, which one feels better to you wanting to change your body because you hate it so much or wanting to change your body because you love it so much and instead of going at it and forcing it, being met with resistance?


What if I were to just be like, you know what? This is a team game. I'm going to join my body side and we're going to end up working together and change, and I'm going to love my body through all of this stuff for me.


I don't know the way that you feel for me. It just feels better to go on the loving side to have less resistance. Resistance to the things that I hate, so we could take body as an example, let's take another example besides his body. Think about your current circumstances that you're in. You might have great circumstances that you live in, in your life. You might have a circumstance you live in your life. You might have things that you hate in your current reality.


And you just hate where your life is.


Wherever it is, we can literally look at it and we could just hate everything around it. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not I'm not married and don't have kids. All of my friends do. I don't have a house. I don't have the money that I want. I thought by now at twenty years old. Twenty five years old, thirty, thirty five forty, whatever you are, I would be further along than life in life.


I would have travel more. I would have made more money. I would have got promoted.


I would have had my own business. And I can hate my circumstances and be really pissed off at my circumstances.


And I could hate it so much that I push myself into action and you can do that, I've done it before, too. So speaking from experience in both of these. But when you do that, it's just so much harder to motivate yourself. It's harder to motivate yourself to do something that you hate and to get out of circumstances that you hate.


The same way as the example I gave you in the beginning, that it would be harder to want to help somebody that you hate that screwed you over in the past versus someone that you love. That's always been there for you, always had your back.


And so if you think about that, what if I were to look at my circumstances and say, OK, maybe my life isn't exactly where I want, but what I'm going to do is as I'm driving my car of life and not look back in the rearview mirror and go, and if I look back, though, I'm really grateful that I'm not where I used to be.


It's kind of like the Joyce Meyer quotes, she says. She says, I'm not where I want to be, but I thank God that I'm not where I used to be. So maybe you're not where you want to be in life. And there's a pretty good chance your listeners podcast, you're like me and you probably will never be where you want to be in life because you'll always be pushing for more. You always be pushing for better, always be pushing for just a little bit extra because you're an overachiever, because you want more, because you want to really squeeze all of the juice out of this fruit of life.


These days, it can be hard to find some time to sit down and learn. And it's not easy with the likes of social media, which can be so addictive and so time consuming. So you may think I don't have enough time to develop myself, but there's an app that I highly recommend and it's called Bleakest. Blink is is for anyone who cares about learning but doesn't have a whole lot of time. And Blanca's takes the key ideas and insights over 4000 nonfiction bestsellers and more than 27 categories and gathers them in together into 15 minute text and audio explainers to help you understand the core ideas.


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And what you could do is you can look at and say, man, I'm not where I want to be, the circumstances I am not where I want to be. You know, my relationships are not where I want to be. My life isn't what I want to be.


I thought I'd be further along than I am. My business is not where I want to be. My career is not where I want to be. My family's not where I want to be.


But thank God it's not where it used to be.


Thank God I'm going in the right direction, and instead of hating my current circumstances and wanting to force myself through the hate in the having the resistance towards it, why don't I just go, you know what?


I love my my current circumstances because it's better than it used to be.


And I know right now, sitting where I am, that I'm in better situation than I ever have been. I'm in a better situation. There was six months ago or a year ago. And I know that I'm working on myself.


I'm listening to podcasts.


I'm taking courses, I'm reading books. I'm doing some meditation. I'm working out of a more I'm eating healthier. I'm on the right path so I can love the current path that I'm on in. The more that I love the current path that I'm on, guess what I want to do? I want to pick up things along the way that will help me love it even more so I can either hate my path and force myself to succeed or I can love my path and I am loving the path that I'm on.


It makes me excited to wake up in the morning because I know that things are constantly getting better. And as they get better, I continue to pick up things along the way. They continue to make it even better than it is right now.


So I can look at my current life circumstances and I can absolutely hate them, or I can look at my current life circumstances and figure out a way to love them.


The same way that you can hate your body or love your body.


You can hate your circumstance, your love, your circumstances. All that requires is a simple perspective shift.


Just change it just a tiny bit. Right. Let's take another example.


What about your relationships? How are your relationships right now?


Are you do you love somebody because you love them or do you love somebody because you hate to be alone? You're just afraid to be lonely. What is it, do you love the relationships you have?


There's some relationships that you hate, certain aspects of someone that you're instead of focusing on what you love about somebody, whether it's a friend or partner, whoever it is that you're in a relationship with, maybe it's your family instead of noticing and paying attention to all of the things that you hate about them, the things that because we know when you're in close relationships, whether it's family members, someone that you're close to, close friends, romantic relationship, those people know how to push your buttons and we can look and find all the things that we hate or we don't like about them.


And we want to be different and we can seek out those things. And I guarantee nobody's perfect. You're going to find things that you're not really 100 percent on with them and that's OK.


Or you can look and say, instead of focusing on the things that I don't necessarily like or I wish that were different, why don't I go and look at this person and say, you know, what? Do they have their flaws?


Yes, everybody does. Do I absolutely have my flaws. But also, I could choose to focus on all the things I love about them, all of the ways that they support me, the ways that they're for me.


Because if you just take that simple perspective shift now, what you realize is it's easier to love the people around you because you're not focusing on the things that you don't necessarily enjoy. You're not focusing on the things that you hate. You're not focusing on the things that aren't your favorite about them.


You're focusing on the little things that you do love, the quirks, the way that they support you. Do I make you laugh the way they look at certain times, whatever it is that you love about them.


And in turn, what you're doing is you're coming from a place of love versus coming from a place of hate, because everything that you do is either love or hate or love or fear, you know.


And so if you were to look at and say, OK, I want to improve my body, that's one of my biggest goals for the year. How can I change my body from a place of love?


Think about that, there's definitely a place where you can change from place of love. Oh, man, I do need a drink, more water, because I know that, you know, I'm 70 percent water. The more hydrated I am, the better it's going to be for me. The more I can flush out toxins, better it's going to be for my muscles. All of that stuff. Better sleep. I'll get everything better when you're hydrated.


OK, that's one thing I can definitely do. That's easy.


You could start off easily. Just make yourself drink water and then just start loving your body a little bit more, figuring out things that you can improve and get better, but doing it from a place of love.


Then on the other side, you can look at your current circumstances and say, man, I really have been looking at my life in everything that I have from a place of hate.


Can I look at it from a place of love and look at from a place of gratitude and see if I can just shift that perspective a little bit?


Of course I can. Great. OK, now let's look at my relationships.


Have I been focusing on people's faults? All people have faults. Have I been focusing on them? Yes. But are there things that I do love about them? And I could focus on those because what you focus on growth.


So if you're focused on things that you hate, you're going to find more things to hate, whether it's in your body, whether it's in your circumstances, whether it's in other people.


But if you focus on things that you love, you're going to find more of the things to love, things that you love about your body, things you love about your circumstances, things you love about the people that are around you as well. All it takes is just a simple awareness, taking yourself out of your head, because when you're in the jar, you can't read the label.


What does that mean? Take yourself out of the jar, a.k.a. your head, your current life, and look at it as if you're someone else from the outside. When you're in the jar, you can't read the label. I'm trying to read the label of my life and see what's going on. All it takes is a little shift in perspective. And you look at each thing you say, can I look at my body from a different perspective? Yes, let's make a list of things I love about myself.


Can I look at my current circumstances from a different perspective? Yes. Let's make a list of all the things about my body and my my circumstances that I love.


Can I look at all of my relationships from a different perspective? Yes. Let's figure out all that I love about the people around me as well. All it takes just a little bit of a perspective shift. And then the last question I want to ask you then I want you to think about as well as how can I make this easier on myself?


One of the things that we tend to do is we tend to act as if life and success in relationships and everything that we go through need to be hard.


They need to be a struggle. You have to struggle.


Your way to success in all of that is completely false. What if you were to take a step back and say, hey, can I make this easier on myself?


Can I make my workouts in my health and everything that I'm doing for my body easier myself and make a list of all the ways you can make it easier? Can I make my circumstances in what I'm doing easier on myself? Can I make my relationships easier on myself?


Because life doesn't have to be hard. Life's already hard as it is.


But if you're coming at something from the wrong perspective, you're going to make it harder on yourself than you need to. So the challenge that I have for you is can you shift your perspective on everything and can you figure out a way to make every single thing that's happening around you in your life easier so that it's met with less resistance, less hate, and now you meet everything with love. So that's what I got for you for today's episode, if you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories.


Tag minute Rob GRB ALJ are the only way that we grow is from you guys putting it out there and helping us grow. So I greatly, greatly appreciate every single one of you for every single share that you do to get the word out there, because that is how we grow. And I'm going to leave it the same way. I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.