We begin today is meditation with a few sipping exercises to remind us a little treat can go a long way.

So pick up your McCarthyist coffees, close your eyes and deep sip in. And deep satisfaction out, I take a treat retreat at McDonald's right now, get him a coffee, iced coffee and any size and any flavor for just 99 cents until 11:00 a.m., price of participation may vary. Welcome to today's episode of the Mind Set Mentor podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe then since you never miss another podcast episode and if you're looking for extra motivation in your life, if you didn't know, I'm putting up videos on YouTube every single week, three videos every single week, highly edited.

If you want to YouTube and type in Rob Dial, I'm going to pop up, go on YouTube, follow me on there. You're going to get a ton more inspiration today. We're going to be talking about why you should stop shooting all over yourself. No, I didn't say shiting. I said should do not should all over yourself. One of the things I hear from people all of the time is how their life is filled with shouldst, where they should be, how life should be, how it's supposed to be.

All of this. And I'm here to tell you that I don't care about any of the shows. And the reason why is because who came up with those sherds? That's what we're going to talk about, who has been shooting all over you your entire life and who should have you been holding on to and saying, you know what, that's my should not the person just shut on me, I'm going to take that shit. I'm a keep it on me.

I'm not going to clean off to keep that on me. Not we're going to dive into today. You know, there's all the different types of shades of, oh, I should be making more money by now, right. Oh, I should be married. Oh, I should have kids by now. I should have a house. I should go to college. I'm here to ask you who told you that? Because if you think about it, there is no real should.

There is no real life path. There is no path to success. There is no this is exactly the way that life should be all of the time. And if you follow this, you're going to be happy and successful and peaceful and joyful. And I'm here to ask you, who the hell have you been getting shut on by? Have you thought about that? Is it your parents? Is it society, is it your family, is it your spouse?

Is that people that you're close to? Is it your friends? Because you have to ask yourself, is this what I truly want my life to be? Or are just other people shooting all over me? And I'm just accepting it and saying that's how I'm going to live my life. So where did your should come from? Where did it come from? Right, that should that's stressing you out because stress comes from where we should be, where we think we should be, what we should be doing.

Your should are stressing you're up. You have to realize that. And have you ever stopped and just thought, like, OK, if I feel like I should be married by now, where did I learn that? Who told me that could have been one person that told it to you and you could have heard it over and over and over and over again your entire life by society, by the magazines, by Instagram, whatever it is. But who told you that and who told you that?

Were you eventually? You know what? Yeah, I accept it. That is exactly what I think that I should be doing at this point. I do think that I should be married by 22 years old, happy and have my life figured out by 23. Kids, cars, house millionaire by twenty five, who told you all of these things? And is it the life that you actually truly want or are you just kind of lost up in all of the goods that you've heard your entire life and you don't even know what you really, truly want?

Have you even given thought to what you want, not what you think that you should do based off of other people's perceptions or what they say that you should do? And not just why am I thinking this, but why do I feel this way?

Why do I feel like this is where I should be, right? So where did you should come from? Where are the different should? I mean, there's a million different shows. But let me tell you, some of the ones that I've thought of, OK, you should be in a relationship right now.

Really? I'm curious who gave you that should who should on you, you should be married by now. OK, who gave you that should who should own you? You should be a doctor. You should be a lawyer. You should go down this life path. You should go to this school. You should go and get this degree. Really? Who told you that should who should all over you. You should make a certain amount of money. Really.

Who told you that. Who should. All of you. You should have a house. Really. Who told you that. Who should. All of you. You should have kids by now. You should be married by now. You should be saving.

Really. OK, who told you that. Who should all over you. Because what you realize, you're starting to build a life that isn't even the life that you actually truly want, you should go to safe rap. Yeah, that sounds like a whole hell of a lot of fun. Let me go the safe route in life. One thing that we've learned in 20, 20 is that the safe route isn't safe at all. Actually, the safe route, the quote unquote safe route is actually the scariest route because when you work for somebody else.

They can always change their mind at any point in time. That doesn't sound safe to me, but if you're your own boss, that sounds a lot safer to me because nobody can fire you and your own boss. Think about that. You should go to school. You should go to college. Really, why is that? Can you give me proof of why somebody should go to college? Are the most successful people the ones who go to college? No, absolutely not.

People who make the most money, the ones that go to college, no statistics actually say, no, that's not true. And people have the biggest businesses, the ones who went to college. No, that's actually not true. So why would you go that route? Is it because somebody told you that you should there because of what you feel like you should do? Right. You should believe in all of the exact same things that your parents believe in, your parent's religion.

You should believe in that. Your parents, you know, political views, you should political views. You should believe in that. What are the other things that you should believe in? You should think exactly the same that I think. Has you heard a parent say that to you before? You should do this because your parents tell you this. You should. You should. Just because your parents think that you should you should think that way because your parents have always thought that way.

Who told you all of these things and who told you that that's what you should do? That's something to think about most people, they they know there should be, but they have no idea whether what, number one, they have no idea where their shirts came from and they don't know why their shirts were actually told to them. If you really try to think about a lot of this, should that people are actually telling other people are their own personal problems being thrown on to them, their own personal views of the way that the world should be?

You know? Oh, I didn't I didn't I wasn't able to go to school to be a doctor.

So you should go to school and be a doctor because I'm trying to give you opportunities that I never had. Right. You should be happier, really. Let's go ahead and review that. Most people are still trying to figure it out. And guess what? That's completely OK. You know, you should follow what you're told to do. You should have a bigger business. You should quit your job. You should, you know, do whatever it is that society tells you to do.

That's what you should do.

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Now, I want you to think about that, if you go back through everything that I said of you should be married, if you should be have kids, all of these shirts, if you really boil it down, what they all are, societal constructs and a construct is not something that truly exists. It's just something that is fabricated, that, you know, you can't hold a construct you can't hold onto when you should be married. You can't hold on to when you should have children.

You can't hold on to the shouldst. They're all constructs. And something that a construct is, is something that is made up by other people. And what's really interesting is that we are unconsciously following societal and social constructs that are made up by people that are no smarter than you and I am, which means that you might be following a social or societal construct that is made up 100 hundred years ago by somebody who might have been even less intelligent than you.

But you're still following it because you're just following it blindly, because that's what you've always done. That's what you've always known. Well, at some point in time, you wake up and you go, no, this isn't what I want. I want to do something different. I don't want my life to be that. I want my life to be something different than it currently is. What do we call that? A lot of people. This is a midlife crisis.

You wake up, you're 40 or 45 years old. You know, like what the fuck has my life become? This isn't what I wanted. And then you realize you followed a bunch of shouldst. You should finish high school and go down that route. You should go to college even though you don't want to, you should go for that degree, even though you want to do something different because that one makes more money. You should get married, you know, to your high school sweetheart.

Sweetheart, you should have 2.5 kids. You should buy a house. You should have two cars. You should go into debt and put stuff on credit cards. If you can't afford it, you should try to keep up with the Joneses. And then you wake up one day and you're like, Who's life in my living? And you know, my God, I'm living somebody else's life, I'm not even living the life that I truly once I was on a zoom called just a little while ago, and one of the things that really stood out to me was a lot of people there on the Zoome call is they didn't even know what they want.

They've been living other people's lives for so long that they don't even know what they want anymore. They have no idea. And they're starting to try to figure out what it would be like to dream again, what it would be like to start following their own path, what it would be like to go, you know what I want to do? What I want to do.

But damn, what do I want to do? It's been so long since I've thought about what I want and thought about myself versus thinking about other people that don't even know how to get to that point. And it's it's like a muscle. You just got to keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. Eventually you're going to start figuring out what it is that you want. Right.

Here's what I have to say. If it isn't hurting anyone else, you should do whatever you want to do. It's the truth if it isn't hurting anybody else, you should do whatever it is that you want to do. Is it selfish? No, it's self-preservation is what it is. Some people go, oh, yeah, but that's selfish to only do what you want to do. No, because here's the thing that I know is when somebody does goes down the life path that they truly want to, they become the best versions of themselves.

And if they're the best versions of themself, guess what? They impact everyone else's life around them at a much, much higher and deeper level. So is it selfish to do exactly what it is that you want to do? No, it's actually more selfless because you're doing what you want to do and at the same time, you show up as a better version of yourself. Here's what I know. And I speak from my own personal experience. When I was working jobs that I hated, I was freaking miserable.

And guess how I showed up for my family, for my girlfriend, for my friends. I showed up as a lesser quality of who I currently am.

But when I found out what it is that I wanted to do and I started following my life path, I started growing, I started getting better, started getting more enthusiastic and more passionate about my life and just life in general, I have been able to take that passion and help other people with their passion as well, and be able to motivate my mom and my girlfriend and my friends and everyone else around me to be the better version of themselves. So what's interesting is my quote unquote, being selfish, as some people would say, actually helped other people.

So is it selfish? No, it's self-preservation. It's doing what you want to do as long as you're not helping anybody else. I'm going to tell you a really unpopular opinion, I don't give a fuck about what your mom wants. I don't give a fuck about your dad once, about what society wants, about what anybody else wants around you. I don't care about where you should be. You know, I don't care about how much money you make.

I don't care if you're single. I don't care if you're divorced. I don't care for religious. I don't care if you're not religious. I don't care what you do, what you don't do. All I care about is this one thing. Do what you truly feel like you should do if it's not hurting other people and it's what you truly want to do and it makes your soul feel like it's coming alive, then it is what you should do.

I see so many people come through and I've worked with them and help them and spoke with them or gotten a message from them where they've built a life that they truly didn't want and now they feel stuck. If you're in that position, just know this. You are not fully stuck. You never are fully stuck. You're not. But what I will tell you is this you can slowly start to unravel the life that you've built and build it into life that you want.

I've seen many people do this over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It is possible for you. Is it going to be easy? No, it absolutely will not be easy, I promise you that one.

But it'll be worth it and you will benefit from it and everyone around you would benefit from it as well.

If you don't feel like you're fully caught in a life that you can't get out of at this point. Well, then you actually have an easier, more of an easier route. And that route is figure out what it is that you want, throw everything else to the side or start to unwind yourself from those things and do what is it you truly want and how do you know it is what you truly want to do? Here's how I know that as a teacher, truly want to do is you don't feel anxious about it, you don't feel fear about it.

You might feel nervous. That's not the same as fear, but you. But what happens is there's something inside of you that goes, oh yes. As we talked about a couple episodes days ago, it's the full focus. It's the oh, my God, I'm so excited if you feel that nervousness and that excited and you immediately want to jump up and do that thing that you are talking about it that you're thinking about in your head, that's probably thing that you should do.

And then what's going to happen? There's a part of you is going to click it and go, yeah, but that's not realistic. That is societal pressures. Who says something is realistic or not realistic? If you want to go through and have your own mind blown, just go through and find the people who have succeeded late in life. If you don't know people who have succeeded late in life, I'll give you a few different examples. You know, Stan Lee, the guy who created Marvel Comics, didn't even catch his first big break into his forty years old.

Vera Wang, who has obviously a massive company, didn't even get into the fashion industry, not even start own, but didn't even get into the fashion industry until she was in her 40s. Right. Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his first job as an actor until he was 46 years old. Right. There's a many different types of people. Henry Ford didn't get his first car released until he was 45 years old. Charles Darwin was 50 years old when he published his first book.

And it list goes on and on and on and on and on. You're never too late. The only thing is you have to do is you have to tell yourself, I have to start. That's what I have to do. And the thing that I want you to take from us is that your job is to build the life that you want, not the life that other people want of you. Your job is to build the life that you are passionate about.

Your job is to find your passion. If you don't know what it is, it's OK to not know what your passion is at this moment. It's completely OK, but it's not OK to not be in constant pursuit to find out what your passion is. If you don't know what is this point when you do find it, it is only OK to be in constant pursuit for that passion, because when you go after your passion, you do what you truly want to do.

You stop, listen to what people tell you that you should do. You fully come alive and when you fully come alive, you open up the doors for other people around you, people that you're close to, to fully come alive as well. So stop shooting all of yourself with all of the things that you think that you should be doing. Do you want to know what you should be doing? You should be doing what you hear on this planet to do, but you need to figure out what that is.

So that's what I've got for you for today's episode. If you've loved this episode, please show someone that you know love. And I believe the same way every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and hope that you have an amazing day. Chris. Hi, I'm Nick Slavophiles, and I want to invite you guys to give our show a listen if you're looking to fall in love with a new podcast, I'm someone who's been around the block and in my relationships in life, and I've certainly learned a lot about myself and in relationships.

And we spent a lot of time on our show talking about social dynamics and interpersonal relationships. We have two great shows for you to check out our Asked Nick episodes on Monday. Our callers call in, they share their problems, their questions, and I decide to share my insight, my opinions. And some people seem to find it helpful.

Sometimes I surprise myself and on Wednesdays, check us out where we have a more traditional show with all sorts of types of guests, experts, personalities, actors, athletes, interesting people, and just have some insightful conversations where we learn about life, love and all things that you can possibly imagine.

We will look forward to seeing you there. For all you foodies out there, I'm unwrapping a McDonald's steak, egg and cheese bagel. Look at this steak and the juice running down the side. Get a little bit on the wrapper here. And then a fluffy egg and real cheese floated over the side, looking just so good. Mm hmm. Grilled onions and about a bagel, two thumbs up, a McDonald's steak, egg and cheese bagel for breakfast.

Love it. Ba ba ba ba. I participate in McDonald's.