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Welcome to today's episode of the Mind Set Mentor podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button since you never miss another episode. And if you want some extra motivation inside of your Instagram news feed, go ahead and follow me on Instagram. Right now, my handle is Rob Dial Jr. RBD. IANAL, J.R., today we're going to be talking about how your fears are not real. Yes, you heard me correctly.


The things that are holding you back from this amazing, beautiful, incredible life that you want are complete B.S. That's what we're going to be talking about today.


And you might be listening to me. You're like, that doesn't make any sense. Of course they're real. No, they're not.


The only thing that's holding you back from the life that you want, the money that you want, the family that you want, the happiness that you want, the joy that you want, the peace, the love, the success, the traveling, the abundance, the lack of stress, the environment that you want, every single little thing that you want in your life. The only thing that's holding you back from that is your fear of something. That's it.


And we're going to be diving into those today. And what I want you to think about, I want you to ask yourself is what is your biggest fear? Think about that for a second.


I don't mean fear of like spiders or fear of heights. What is your number one fear that's holding you back from creating the life that you want? I want you to think about that in your mind real quick. What is it? Do you have it do you know what it is now? I want you Roz's I my job is basically to talk about fear with people and have them see how ridiculous their fears are. So I'm going to take a guess that I probably know 95 percent of you that are listening to this, what your fear is.


Here's the ones that I hear the most often.


The fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of running out of money, the fear of being a terrible parent, the fear of your spouse leaving you, the fear of not living up to your parents, expectations of fear of being unlovable. Whatever it is, there's so many different fears that are out there. But I just probably covered about 95 percent of the people listening right now by saying those. Out of all of those things, I'm going to ask you this question, how many of those can kill you?


Have you ever thought about that before? How many of those fears will cause you to stop breathing will cause your heart to stop beating? How many of them?


I know the answer to it. The answer is zero. At zero, I got about 95 percent of the people who are listening to this in the actual fears that are holding you back cannot kill you, because the fact is we're actually born with only two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. Those two are actually born into humans. Every other fear outside the fear of loud noises and the fear of rejection is learned. Yes, you heard me correctly.


The fear that's holding you back from the life that you want, from everything that you truly want in your life is learned. You either learn it from your parents. You learn it from your brother and sister, aunt, uncle, family, society advertisements, your learning, your fears from you've learned your fears.


Like how crazy. Just just let that sink in for a second. You have learned to fear that thing that is holding you back, which means that it's actually not real. Now, I know some of you out there like. But Rob, it is real, like the fear that's inside of me. I physically feel that fear. Yes. You can physically feel it because your thoughts create emotions inside of your body. Your thoughts happen. They send a chemical messenger called a neuropeptide from your brain down to your body, which then creates hormones and actual feelings inside of your body so you can feel the feelings of fear.


But they don't exist, they're not real. So you've learned the fear of rejection. You've learned the fear of failure. You've learned the fear of success, you've learned the fear of running out of money. You've learned the fear of your spouse leaving you. You've learned the fear of being a bad parent. You've learned the fear of not living up to your parents expectations. You've learned the fear of being unlovable. You have learned those fears. None of them are actually real.


They're not real. They don't exist.


You can't physically hold them in the world. Right. And really, what it boils down to is this. It's a thing that one of my friends and I came up with and it's primal fears versus intellectual fears. And let me explain a situation. If you listen to my podcast, a couple weeks ago, I actually talked about this friend of mine who went and actually lived with a native Brazilian tribe in the middle of absolute nowhere in Brazil, like literally lived inside of a teepee, slept with a machete next to him because jaguars were known to roam in in the middle of the night and hunted anacondas for them to be able to live.


I'm talking about like native Brazilian tribe, like they are native people. They don't have roads, they don't have cars. Any of those things in.


One of the things that he said to me that was super, super interesting. He was talking about how when he walked around in the forest, he always had to have a machete with them because you never know when a Jaguar would run up on you. You just never knew. And that was always prominent in his mind. Like he's walking through the forest. He's got to have some form of protection on him at all times to make sure that he doesn't get attacked by something.


Because one thing that he said it was really interesting is he said if you see a Jaguar, you're pretty much done. And the reason why is because it's not them just seeing you. They've been seeing you for a long time.


If you are just now seeing that they've been watching you, they've been stalking you, if you can visually see a Jaguar, they've been looking at you for a while.


And what he said to me that was really interesting is he goes, it really makes you understand the primal fears that we don't feel anymore in society. We don't have to worry about, you know, an animal coming out and attacking us. Most of us that are listening to this podcast, you know, I can see all of the places this is downloading like a hundred and ninety one hundred and ninety different countries. Listen to this podcast.


In the majority of people who are listening to this, you don't have to worry about an animal coming out attacking you. I don't have to worry about walking down the street here in Austin, Texas, and an animal coming out and attacking me. I don't really have to worry about running out of food. Like even if I lost all of my money and I was homeless, I would still be able to figure out a way to get food.


Right. So that's also not really something that I have to worry about. Those are primal fears. Primal fears means that there is death attached to it.


So if you can attach death to something, it's a primal fear. And of course, that makes sense. We should be afraid of things that could possibly kill us because our brain is designed to keep us alive. And so we should have a mechanism that creates fear inside of our bodies, inside of our brains to make us avoid anything that could have possible death attached to it. Completely makes sense. Makes sense. I get it. That's a primal fear, something that has death attached to it.


All of the other fears that don't have death attached to it, we call intellectual fears their fears of the mind. All of the fears that you have that are holding you back from this life that you want are all fears of the mind.


There's no death attached to them. There's no death attached to the fear of rejection.


If you get rejected by somebody, whatever it is, you're not going to die. It's not going to happen.


You know, if somebody gives you their opinion, they don't think something great of you.


And that's a fear, you know, of Sally and accounting rejects you or doesn't like what you do or, you know, talks trash about you. You're not going to die from that.


If you fail at running this business that you want to, you know, start if you are to possibly fail at it, would you die? No. I mean, would you have less money?


Maybe, but would you actually cease to breathe?


No. So that's an intellectual fear. How about the fear of success? If you were to become successful, would you die? No. If you were to lose everything, you know, if you were to to become successful and lose everything, would you die? No. If you were to, you know, raise your children? Not perfectly, because one of the things I hear from parents the most is that I'm so terrible. I'm so afraid that I'm going to raise my children.


And, you know, they're not going to be what I want them to be. If you aren't the best parent in the world because obviously you're trying to get better, are you going to die? No. Hey, the stress of daily life weighs on all of us.


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If you are, you know, bring up another fear.


If you are how the fear of being unlovable. If you're unlovable, are you going to die. No. If it's not going to be awesome. If you're not lovable, if you're a lovable but it's you're not going to die from it. If you don't live up to your parents expectations, are you going to die? No. If your spouse leaves you, are you going to die? No. All of these things I understand. Listen, I don't want to say that I don't understand not wanting them to happen.


I understand. I wouldn't want to be rejected. I wouldn't want to fail. I wouldn't want to run out of money or be a terrible parent or my spouse to leave me or be unlovable or, you know, not live up to my mom's expectations. Of course, I understand the fact of not wanting these things to happen, but you can't justify fearing them because they're not something to fear because they will not kill you. So what you really have to do is you really have to take a step back when you're starting to feel the feelings of fear and start to self assess.


One of the things that I always say is that if I could give everybody in the world a superpower, it would be extreme self awareness for people to take themselves out of their current circumstances, look at themselves as if they're looking at somebody else and actually self assess what's going on right there. You sit there and you go, OK, all right. I'm feeling fear. I'm feeling fear right now. Am I going to die? I'm not. OK, so is that a primal fear?


No, it's not a primal fear. It's an intellectual fear. How do I know? Once again, a primal fear is where death is possibly attached to it. I could actually die, like ceased to breathe. I could completely stop breathing an intellectual fear, your ego or your embarrassment isn't attached to it. So if you get rejected, you're not going to die. But your ego might hurt. You might get embarrassed if you fail at something, you're not going to die, but your ego might hurt.


You might be embarrassed about it and so on and so forth. And so what you do. As you have to prove to your brain how ridiculous this fear actually is so that it starts to release it, because at this point, if you don't really start to self assess, it feels in your body the same as if you're about to be attacked by a lion like you can physically feel inside of your body, fear you can.


And it's the same physical feeling that you're feeling if your life is, you know, possibly on the line.


But you have to prove to your brain that the thing that you're feeling is really not something that should be feared at this point, not something that's going to hold you back, not something that is going to be a death attached to it. And so, in a way, you almost have to prove to your brain how ridiculous your fear is. So when you're feeling these feelings, you've got to self assess, think about the fear, and then you've got to prove yourself how ridiculous holding onto this fear actually is.


So how do you do it? All right.


Let's go ahead and walk you through exactly how to do it. And so the first thing that I like to do is I like to prove to my brain how ridiculous the fear is.


And I don't even call it a fear. I refuse to call an intellectual fear. An actual fear. Right. A primal fear. Yes, I can call that a fear, but an intellectual fear I don't call a fear. I made up a word that I used to call it, because I like to make myself realize how dumb it is.


And I'm trying to diminish the severity of these fears, quote unquote, fears in my brain. And I call them Skerries.


Skerries, because it doesn't sound scary when you call something scary, so it's like, oh, you know, I've got this scary inside of my head that I might be rejected by Sallyanne in accounting because she doesn't like the work that I do. Oh, I've got this scary that I you know, I've got the scary that possibly my my wife can leave me. I've got this scary that I'm going to fail at my business. I've got this scary that I might fail at this other thing.


I've got this scary that I, I might become successful and I've never been successful. I don't know what that feels like. I've got this scary like that's the way that I think of it in my head of like it's so it's so ridiculous to hold on to these things because you can do something to make these things better.


You can make sure you don't fail. You can make sure you don't get rejected. You can make sure that your spouse doesn't leave. You can make sure that you are an incredible parent. You can make sure of all of these things. So they're not fears, because when you see fear, it's like, fuck, I could die. That's what fear means in my head.


Skerries are numb, just a little bit scared. Like, that's the way that I feel skerries are. And that's what I try to make them feel in my brain of like these are not on the same level. This primal fear is not on the same level as these intellectual fears. These intellectual fears are so much smaller, they're so much diminished. And I'm not going to allow these things to hold me back from the life that I want, because how ridiculous would it be if I didn't live the life that I want because I was worried about Sally and accountings fucking opinion of me.


How ridiculous is that if you actually think about it? And so that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to actually diminish it in my brain so they can see how dumb it is to actually hold on to it, because it's holding me back to the freaking life that I want and I only get one of these lives. So why would I let Sally's opinion of me or the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of success, whatever the fear is, hold me back from doing the thing that I truly want to do.


Right. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to self assess, figure out what this thing is and I'm going to freaking get past it because it's not going to hold me back anymore. So then I asked myself these questions. No. One, is this a primal fear or is this an intellectual scary? Is this a primal fear that I'm feeling in my body, or is this an intellectual, scary thing about that for a second?


Which one is it? OK, and this is the self-assessment, I want you to go on and you can do it right now and you can do it any time this you start to feel fear and you write it down. Is this an intellectual fear or is this a primal, scary right? Which one is it for you?


Number two, am I going to die?


Am I going to die? This will really help you figure out which one it is. Am I going to die? No, I'm not. OK, cool. I got that and the number three. And here's the key. The key is to shift your focus because you're focusing on the wrong thing when you're focusing on these SKERRIES. I want to be more afraid of what I'm going to lose than to be afraid of this intellectual scary, I want to be afraid of what I'm not going to have in my life and what it's what I'm going to be missing out on.


If I listen to this intellectual scary, then if I allow it to actually control my life. So here's what I do, OK, if I. If I look at this intellectual scary over here, the question I'm going to ask myself is, what am I missing out on if I listen to this intellectual scary? What am I missing out on if I listen to this thing, I want to think about, what am I missing out on? I want to think about what are my children going to miss out on?


I want to think about what is my family going to miss out on? I want to think about what is the world going to miss out on. I want to figure out why I should be scared shitless of not taking action then why I should be afraid of this intellectual scary. I want to diminish the intellectual scary in my mind so much that I have to take action because I'm more afraid of not taking action than taking action. And so what are the three questions?


Number one, is this a primal fear or is this an intellectual scary? Number two, am I going to die? And number three, shift your focus. What you're focusing on to what am I missing out on? If I listen to this intellectual scary, I'm trying to diminish that fear to seem so minuscule versus thinking about when I think about what I'm missing out on. If I listen to that intellectual scary, if I think about what my family is missing out on, what my kids are missing, out on, what travel I'm missing out of money I might not be making, the life I might not have.


I'm going to start to diminish the feeling inside of my body.


And I'm going to go, wow, that I just went from from anxious, fearful, if I don't feel fear of taking action to I actually feel anxious if I don't take action, I'm actually afraid of what my life looks like if I don't start taking action because it looks way worse if I don't take action than if I do.


And so that's the key is you've got to you've got to, number one, identify is it a primal fear or is it an intellectual fear or intellectual scary. And you've got to identify what you need to do to get past it by diminishing that fear. That's scary that you have and making you realize you should actually fear not taking action.


Versus fearing taking action because of this intellectual scary, because all of the things that you're holding on in your head, they don't exist. The fear of of rejection, failure, success, running out of money, being a terrible panic parent, does your spouse leaving you not living up to your parents expectations being unlovable, those things are not going to kill you. They're not real in our bodies, they feel real. But how do we get them to not feel as real inside of our bodies?


We make our our brain realize how bad it would be to actually listen to these. And that is the way you get past the fear is by making your brain in your consciousness, in your body, realize the severity of listening to that fear versus actually listening to that fear. You must identify if it's a primal fear or an intellectual fear, and then you must diminish the intellectual fears so that they don't hold you back anymore. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.


If you love this episode, if it impacted you in some sort of way and you think other people should listen to this, do me a favor and go ahead and share this on your Instagram stories and tag me to take a screenshot, take a video of you listening to it, take a video of you talking about it and share it and just tag minute. Rob Dale Jr., RBD ALJ are, as I say, at the end of every single episode.


The only way this podcast grow is the only reason why it's one of the top one hundred in the entire world. And the only reason why is no one in the entire country of Australia is because you guys share it. So if this is impacting you, I guarantee it's going to impact other people who you know as well. So please do me a favor and share it and tag minute Rob Dale Jr. and I'm going to leave you the same way.


I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.


Hey, everybody. Marianne Williamson here. Guess what, it's going to be a big shock to you.


I'm going to be the one million seven hundred sixty seven thousand person to start a podcast, and this one is going to be really good.


My guest today is Andrew Yang. What I appreciate about my relationship with you, Andrew, is I feel that you and I, on a personal level, can share both perspectives. And I always appreciate the opportunity to have a public conversation with you, because that back and forth that you and I have, I believe, really does embody a back and forth that exists in the hearts and minds of a lot of people.


I am both uplifted by you and learn from you every time we talk. And you're just a very elevated person and truth teller and spending even this time with you. Like, I feel like it sharpens my thinking. It sharpens my perception of the need.


I agree with everything you say tax policy should be just education policy should be just health policy should be just there should be criminal justice. There should be economic justice. But it's a you know, if you don't learn the Bill of Rights as a child, you don't know as an adult to be horrified when it's under an assault.


Exactly right. So I think what you're getting at is something I think about all the time, which is, I think, one of the great challenges of this moment. And it's an exciting challenge, but a very difficult is we are now called to find a way to both love our country and tell the truth about it at the same time.


So now we need to show the evidence of love. You know, when hatred and bigotry are harnessed for political purposes, we need to now match that with love and decency and dignity.


Please subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and join me.


I can't wait.