Hey, guys, I was supposed to drop an episode today and the reason it's not out is because my editor, Matt Pro from Favre has told me, hi, I'm really sorry to do this, but I'm going to have to cancel this editing order first. The audio is really low quality, tons of noise, yadda, yadda. But honestly, your content is kind of a problem for me. If I was a single guy, then it wouldn't be an issue.

But my wife would hate this and we keep it on the level with each other. I'm in my studio wearing headphones, constantly worried that my main volume will kick on with my kid 10 feet away. I don't need to explain these things to him at eight. I love your hustle and what you're doing, but I think this is just not a great fit for my family friendly studio. I wish you all the best, Matt, and I'm not blaming you, Matt.

And I don't know why I feel so emotional about this, but every sex worker who wants to be taken seriously has the hardest time. And I have the privilege of not having to deal with this sort of discrimination because I'm not putting my work directly on the street. I have a lot of control, but this is just really disappointing. I know all I have to do is create another job, but I've built such a trust with this, Ed, especially with the type of content I have.

So it feels just kind of like a slap of a face, a slap in the face when someone says, if I were single, this would be fine. And it's just such a fucking stigma. And then today on Tech Talk, I had three videos get taken down for violating the guidelines. And it makes my heart drop every time I get that notification because I have almost a million followers there. And it's such a blessing to honestly, some of you are listening.

Probably came from tech talk, and I've always played it really safe over there. How I type things, how I say things, how I show my body, because I know my voice in my body violate guidelines, unfortunately. And I posted a video, unboxing a pair of leggings that someone sent me from my Amazon wish list. And I simply explained how a goddess shouldn't have to purchase the merchandise that a man is paying for her to wear. And the video got removed.

I also posted a video on my aerial hammock swing. It was actually a promotional paid video and I was fully clothed and workout gear. It was not sexual at all. And I appealed both videos. And you know what? Those kind of things, you never know how many videos have to go down for them to take your whole account down. So it's just a hard day. I was at the warehouse this morning. I thought I'd be there for an hour, just grabbing a few things and then a whole load of inventory came in.

And they don't have enough workers to do our inventory because they're focused on their Halloween stuff coming in. They have a big Amazon operation going on. And as an entrepreneur, it's always damage control every day. So I had to take things out of boxes, had to, you know, rescue them, sticker them, give them homes. My assistant helped me with that. Like as she was home, we were kind of communicating, but it's really hot over there.

And you're kind of in the corner trying to do your own thing, which is totally fine. But what our turns to three hours, it's like a time warp there. And it's been really difficult for me to transition from not having my inventory here and wanting to create content with the time I thought I would have. But I seem to still continue fixing little mistakes, doing busy work, which is what I've always done in tech talk, has allowed me to create and express myself over there in a way I never thought imaginable.

It's so gratifying the community there. And, you know, Sunday it was a great day.

I recorded a YouTube video, got that up, found a YouTube editor, put up a podcast episode, the interview I did with the Swinging Downunder podcast. And I'm very accomplishment driven, so I got a lot done. I cleaned up, put some funky new lights in my studio and all sorts of things played with the puppy. It good. So I was like on this high. I always forget the ebb and flow, you know, the good, the bad.

And honestly, today was a great day. But I got this email and it said Matt VO pro open to dispute regarding your order and my heart just saying and then reading this, I'm just trying to think about what triggered me. Maybe I mean, his picture, he looks like an older white man. And I think I have this underlying fear of not pleasing my superiors or letting people down and feeling ashamed for what I look like and what I say.

So I know it's not his fault. I'm sure he has a lovely wife and. A great kid, and I'm maybe it does make him feel uncomfortable, but I just wish he had said something at the beginning. So that's where I'm at. I just wanted to share and get that off my chest, I feel a lot better. This feels like a diary entry. It really does. And I'm recording on my phone. So the audio shit, I'm just going to post this on my will.

This be season two episode to 10 minutes long.

But the conversation I had with my sister about our relationship, that was the episode he was supposed to edit. So once I find a new editor or I'll just edit it, my fucking self, that will be the next one you guys get to listen to, which is amazing. I'm all your messages have just inspired me to keep going with this podcast Journey. And you might have heard from my tech talk that I'm still working on an e-book, just writing and curating every episode into a written format.

I know you guys want that and I'm going to make that happen. So I want to finish this episode with whenever you feel low, whenever you feel. A lot like a pattern of a feeling of self-doubt, of her anger, whatever it may be, a feeling that you just continuously feel too often whenever you feel uncomfortable. Try to dig deeper, try to pinpoint where that feeling is coming from within you and focus on changing that pattern and finding a strength within you that God is strength because we are the survivors.

We are the game changers. We are the ones on the off beaten path. We are the brilliant ones that no one will ever understand. You know how many squares look at US hoes and want to live our life, but they are so goddamn ashamed of who they really are that they can't, that they spend their whole lives running away from who they really are. And we we've risked it all. We've risked our relationships, our families, career opportunities to embrace and love who we are and for God damn sure, be compensated by it.

Compensated from it. I I don't feel alone because I know you're listening. So thank you. This is just another beautiful side of me. You want it, you got to take it all the good, the bad, the beautiful and the brilliant. All right, slot's I'll see you on the next steps by.