Transcribe your podcast
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What's that, my new money toolbox, here's a saw to help cut down my mortgage. And España to tighten my outgoings. What's the hammer for nailing my credit card debt?

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I want to see more for free independent tools and calculators to help you manage your money. Visit CPK Dorahy Forward Slash money tools.

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From the Competition and Consumer Protection Commission. I love being objectified, it's like what I do, but if I'm just like talking to the fucking cashier and they ask me what's in my pants, I'm not going to be in a place where I'm willing to share that information. You know what I mean?

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Well, I should politely ask, what are you comfortable sharing with about the bottom surgery? Because I know nothing about it.

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Oh, girl, I'm here to school. You in me, please, Matty.

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Welcome back. My children and my baby sluts in training, if you're new to the show, we talk about sluts who like to make money, the ups and downs of running an empire and my weird as fuck life in general. Yes, if you didn't know already my many books series for only fans, Beginners and Panic Selling Dinosaurs is on my new website. Rebecca Blue dot com. That's Rebecca with two K's. So go check that out if that's something you might be interested in.

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So back to business today is a very important episode. I'm very grateful you have chosen this one to listen to my lovely new friend. Hanzi handy man is a trans sex worker who messaged me on only fans wanting to share his story. So sit back and let's welcome P.J. to the super duper podcast.

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I'm happy to be here.

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So this is actually our Take two. We recorded our intro and got a few minutes in, and then the universe was like, no, we don't want this information out, so we're going to just fucking put it out even harder. Now I'm ready to just go in balls deep. Wow.

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And that clown. So you are an only fan's creator.

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I'm going to read your profile because I think it's also a good way to introduce you. You say you're just your friendly neighborhood trans boy, a handyman woodworker by trade, kink enthusiast and the sweetest is it sadist sadist status on the last episode I call it the saddest and was so fucking in better areas for you.

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Post tasteful nudes and other explicit content daily. So this is your paid page. You also have a free account as well, which is very smart. But is there anything else you want to share with the world about you before we share everything?

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I mean, like all I can think of is you can envision me as the world's husband. That's what my wife likes to call me. So I think I love it. It gives you everything you need to know.

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So we're going to dip into the basics really quick because some people have no idea what's going on in the world. But transgender is denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth, sex. And then oppositely CIS gender, also called CIS, is when your gender identity matches the sex assigned at birth. So, for example, if you're someone who identifies as a woman and you are assigned female at birth, you are CIS gender.

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So it's basically the opposite of transgender. And then let's have you give the definition for LGBTQ plus.

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So LGBTQ, I mean there is like a lot of letters in there nowadays, but the base is lesbian, gay by transgender queer and then I is intersex a is a sexual I believe, and it's really inclusive. So you can kind of mix it up. However, you know, however you identify yourself into that rainbow, we're very welcoming over here.

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How do you feel as the letters continue to add on to that? Because I find myself hearing and conversations. People are just like the LGBTQ Bajou and I'm like, come on now, show respect. Yeah.

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I mean, I think that it really just denotes the ways that we're forging ahead and how we see identity and sexuality as a whole. So for me, I really enjoy seeing new letters coming up because it's teaching me something about people and how they see themselves. And I think that that's a really mind blowing thing. When you think about the, like, large scheme of humanity.

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I love that it's a very well put definition, even though no one can really be defined. If that makes sense, we can only define ourselves.

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Yeah. One hundred.

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So you were telling me that you were in therapy as a young man, and I'm curious, like, why were you in therapy and how did your therapist help you get in touch with your true self?

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Amazing question. So yeah, I just, I love therapy. I've been doing it since I was, you know, in my late teens, early 20s, just because I came from a background with lots of drama, lots of addiction related issues, not for myself, but my my caretakers. So I kind of started that path to start to come to terms with everything that I had kind of not process throughout my childhood. But when I started therapy again and essentially came to the realization that I was a trans man, I was in the army and I was stationed out in South Korea, which was pretty.

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But I was really far away from my family and friends and felt very disconnected. I was depressed. I needed just to have an outlet. And so I started talking to this therapist on base and she had noticed within our first few sessions that any time I was making a metaphor about myself or kind of denoting myself, it was always like, I'm a little boy in a race car or I feel like a teenage boy in puberty or whatever. And she'd be like, Do you realize that you do that?

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And I'm like, no, I mean, it's just what I do. She's like, I want you to maybe take some time and focus on, you know, why you might be doing that. And at first I was like, dude, that's just like who I am. How dare you try and make me question that? And then I took some time and made a kind of a pros and cons list about things that I really enjoyed about my current identity and things that really bothered me.

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And I found that a lot of the things that bothered me were kind of my physical traits, like my boobs, big hips, having a vagina, having a period. Those things all created this unease in me. And the things that I did like weren't necessarily like gender. It was just like I'm resilient, I am determined, I am creative. And so that's when I really was like, oh, shit, I think that I am trans.

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Did that scare you? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I found out once I once I came to this conclusion with my therapist, she because she worked for the Army, had to pass it along to my leadership because it's defined still as a mental illness in the military.

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So are you prepared for her to do that with the repercussions that might happen?

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No, not at all. I had no idea. We had a great therapy session. I was like, this is amazing. I think I understand more about who I am now. And she's like, so technically a mental illness that's going to affect your battle readiness. I have to speak to your leadership about it.

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Let's Google is trans a mental illness. Like who the fuck decided that? Yeah, gender dysphoria, of course. The American Psychiatric Association.

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Yeah. Yeah. With the DSM, I got I can't remember what the acronym stands for, but it's it's like the diagnosis manual for mental illnesses that like therapists use. They removed the definition as, like an illness and more like an affect or like a just a thing that happens to patients like kind of taking the negative connotation away from it. But the military when I was in, which was what, like twenty thirteen, they still were using the old DSM hadn't updated anything, you know, they were like just pass, don't ask, don't tell.

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So I should have not expected much.

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That's I mean, I commend the therapist for helping assisting you to to cope with your reality and find yourself. And I feel like there's a lot of therapists that don't do that, especially what's like the way the way is that what it's called like that makes me nauseous.

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And yeah, you know, when we were getting to know each other about 30 minutes ago, I was expressing how my caretakers, particularly my mom, I love that you call them caretakers because sometimes they don't act motherly or fatherly. They're simply there to take care of you. She taught me unconditional love. I was definitely a slutty teenager and she was very Christian, the right word to use conservative. And she accepted me and gave me the tools to navigate who I was and teaching me to be nonjudgmental, which is, I think, what Christianity is supposed to teach.

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She that's just how I see the world is like what I'm scrolling on.

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Tick tock. I don't stop and comment and judge people. And I notice the people that do are very angry. So like I say, a lot hurt people, hurt people and people will not judge certain things and let things slide. You know, they won't judge people for getting a boob job or Botox. But God forbid they want to, you know, see, like I said before, I don't want to say any words that would come off as offensive.

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But I'm trying to also be authentic here. And I encourage you to correct my verbiage if it can be that way.

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But totally, I am here for you. I'm OK. But I don't even know where I was going that I just think you know where we're all. Just existing and let each other exist. So how old were you when I mean, did they say, like, you have to leave the army?

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Yes. So what ended up happening was, well, I'll back up a little bit. I joined the army when I was twenty four. So much later than the average recruit. I think so. I was in my mid 20s when all of this was going down. So luckily I had a little bit of kind of wherewithal and I wasn't as subject to being pushed in one way or another to making my decisions. I wanted to just do things that felt good to me.

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So like I said, it got passed up to my leadership. And my first leader in the chain of command actually has a sister in law who is trans. And he was like, I totally get it. I watched her walk through this and how hard it is. Whatever you need, I got you. And I was like, sweet. This seems great. And then one day I got called into my colonel's office. He was the leader of the the brigade that I was in.

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And he was basically like, look, you've done great work. You haven't done any trouble. I know you personally. So I know that you're not a bad person. But I don't want people like you in my ranks. Wow.

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What is it like carrying that weight of judgment or people shaming?

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Well, you know, at the time I had this feeling of abandonment like this, colonel, I was lucky enough to work with him pretty often, which is unusual for like the lower or junior enlisted ranks in the military. And so I worked with him almost every day of the week and we were in constant contact because I was a journalist. So I'd follow him around and take pictures and do all this stuff. So it felt kind of like a betrayal, a little bit of an abandonment.

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But overall, I've always had the attitude that, like, if I have to change anything about myself that I feel is helping me be a good person in order to make you happy, you can go fuck right off. Good answer. And that makes me wonder if it triggered any other abandonment in your life. You know, I'm curious what your parents might have thought. What was it like coming out or did you have any previous coming out before the Army with thoughts of not knowing who you were?

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Is that like I don't even know if that's the right verbiage to say, like not knowing who you were, if that makes sense?

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Yeah. I mean, honestly, I think yeah, to a degree I didn't I didn't know who I was, partially because I hadn't gotten the experiences that kind of guided me through that line. Yeah, I think your verbiage is fine. OK, so it definitely triggered abandonment issues, which I am chock full of. My dad was never around. I met him once when I was two. So like not a big deal. My mom, she had issues with drugs and alcohol and kind of left me to the wolves and actually ended up raising my two younger sisters.

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I feel like when children go through trauma or those rough experiences, it definitely strengthens who you are and almost like prepared you for what was to come.

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Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, like, I feel like it's unfortunately not rare enough, but pretty rare that a child raises children and that that gets you ready for the gnarliest subtasks. Let me tell you, my younger sisters, so they're both younger than me. The middle one had a lot of, like, anger issues when she was a kid. So I had to learn as somebody who is nine years older than her, but still a child, how to navigate that and how to not be angry at her and how to help her learn how to work through those anger issues.

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And she actually is the one who introduced me to you. Funny in a really no way. Yeah.

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She, I think, saw you on social media and my entire family and friends circle knows about my history and sex work. And, you know, as soon as I started it and only fans, I texted my sister and I was like, OK, took the plunge. And she was like, oh, my God, no. But when I got to show you this girl, she is hilarious and smart and like a real business woman knows what she's doing.

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I'm going to cry. Yeah. And and then I like I said in my emails, well, I think on only fans when I messaged you, like, I've just been devouring your work and just taking notes because this business person game is like hardcore and you just fucking run that shit.

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I don't know what I'm doing, but it works and I want to share all the fuckups that lead to the success. And I just feel like there's this gap in your life and I don't. Spend the whole episode like diving into your childhood and stuff, even though it's very important, but the grey area of discovering who you are, who you're meant to be, and then becoming a only fans content creator, that is sizing themself on being trans. Yes.

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So I think part of the gap is it was I didn't just go from being a child, raising children to like hot transduced pedley. I definitely had a couple of steps in the process. When I was a teenager, I started getting into girls because I didn't realize it was a possibility. And I was like, damn, this is awesome. And so I came out as bi. And shortly thereafter I had my first sexual experience with a guy and I was like, OK, yeah, no, definitely adjusting to women.

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And so I came out as lesbian. I identified as a fairly masculine presenting butch lesbian. And I presented that way while I was in the army, very masculine. And then when I went through this therapy experience and came out as trans, I guess that would be the gap filler to where I am now.

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I know that typically a name change comes with that. Could you explain what a dead name is and what that means to you? Oh, yeah, definitely. So a dead name is the name that you were given at birth? For a lot of trans people, it is very like triggering word because it symbolizes everything that they frankly feel disconnected with. And, you know, and name means everything. We wouldn't put so much effort into us personally as sex workers like into our names if it meant nothing, you know.

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So for some and I can only speak to my experience, my dad name is like the most triggering thing in the world for me, like sometimes and this is going to sound stupid. I will be like in the bathroom and one of my wife's hairs will be like on the shower. And if it's shaped like the letter of my dead name, I like like curl up in a ball. It's ridiculous.

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Well, I myself have different names for my different aliases. And when even like spelling. So when someone emails me with, like the true spelling of my real name, it also takes me back to a time where I was really insecure and not the queen I wanted to be. So that's the only way I can kind of relate to that. And I mean, triggers are scary. And the silver lining and triggers like with social media, it is interesting how people use the word trigger warning before they dive into something sensitive.

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So do you see that a lot when you're like scrolling on social media?

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I definitely see a lot of it in this like time or this season of our lives. A lot of the things that people have trigger warnings associated with are like violent or like mental health issues, that kind of thing. Like I'll see a lot of trigger warnings for people who are having feelings about, like taking their own lives. But in general, it is pretty prominent among like the trans community, especially because dysphoria is such a many headed beast for people.

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Have you ever felt depressed in a way? Where did you ever have suicidal thoughts or is anyone around you in your community? Is that something you had to help anyone with? Yeah, definitely. I personally have had had issues in the past where I have really been tempted to take my own life just because I mean, life in general is overwhelming. But life being a trans person and having this kind of fear constantly behind you, what helped you get out of that?

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Unless, I mean, I'm sure it's always a battle.

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Every day is a battle like really I think that it has gotten a lot better, one, because I'm back in therapy and have an outlet for it that is third party nonjudgmental that like is everything. I jumped on the med train. I have been immensely improved since starting taking two.

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I got mine right here. Well, my antidepressants.

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Yeah, it's a lot of people don't want to accept that meds are actually helpful. They think that it's like a crutch or something. But I can tell you, it has helped me to be a better person, essentially, like I'm not so focused on everything I hate about myself or being anxious about going to the bathroom however many times I go that day and being worried about getting jumped. So it's definitely like toned things down. I feel more confident and that's where I'm at now.

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It is a battle, I don't know that I'm over it, and sometimes it still comes up, but among other people in my community, there's certainly a lot of trans people in particular that I've talked to who have been really on the cusp of deciding whether they should continue this path and fight through it for the hopes that they will feel good about being accepted for who they are and taking their own life. So it's really rough.

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Yeah, my mom always when my meds started to kick in in the right direction, she was like prior to that she was like everything always had a million exclamation points, whether you were happy, sad or in the middle. She was like, now it's just like one exclamation point.

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And that's so much so aside from, you know, those kind of meds, like for me, it's antidepressants and anti bipolar. But what are the meds you take to be more masculine? Oh, great question. So I am currently taking have been taking since I started my medical transition testosterone. So basically it's like every human being has a certain amount of testosterone and estrogen running through their bodies. But biologically born male people have more testosterone. And so I take an external version of that and internalize it in my body.

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And so that's the only men that I take, thankfully for that. What was your experience when you started that? Was it really exciting when you started to see change?

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Oh hell yeah. Yeah, I, I remember I took my first shot. I have a video of it that I afford because my voice I can't eat like I don't have the deepest voice now. But just looking back at that video and seeing how high pitched my voice was, I just cringed so hard. But yeah, when it started, when my voice started cracking, I started like every speck of facial hair that would come in. I was just like throwing myself a party.

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Well, I'm I'm looking at your pictures on only fans and you have a very nice beard. I love it. And again, I'd like to say something, and I'm I'm just being I'm overcautious when I talk in general, I overtalk.

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But I would say, like, I looked at your page and I was like, OK, this is a guy you don't even look trans to me. And I know that's called passing sometimes, but I also understand, like trans people, whether they look like they're passing or not, they're still trans. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'm very fortunate that I have that privilege of passing. I don't have a lot of people question my identity.

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I'm a short guy. So sometimes, especially in the LGBTQ community, people kind of clock you as a trans guy if you're on the shorter side or have small hands or whatever. But when it comes to the world at large, I do have that privilege. But absolutely. And also, if you aren't medically transitioning just because you choose not to, you, you just feel best in your body, just identifying is he him or or you see them.

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That's also valid as a trans identity. So in our emails, I asked you what your pronouns were. And to me that's a respectful thing to do. But I also wasn't sure if that is disrespectful to ask. Someone's pronouns are when you talk to humans in general, if we should all just be referred to as they, you shouldn't feel disrespectful at all.

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You nailed it. I like when I read that I like, got some, like, butterflies going on because it's very rare that people are cognizant enough of that. And I think that in a lot of settings it would be really beneficial to kind of lead the conversation with my pronouns. Are this what are yours and the people who aren't really bothered by are not necessarily uncomfortable, but it doesn't affect them, are going to be fine with him or whatever.

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But for community, it means so much more. And I hope anyone listening takes this as an opportunity. If you hear someone calling a trans person like it or a thing like it's your opportunity to step up and correct someone because we can't move towards a positive world or a better world without people being allies to the community. And I think that's really important to educate and correct people who who simply don't know that that could be wrong.

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Yeah, I had some experiences where I had been referred to as an aide or a thing, and I cannot tell you how horrible it feels.

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Hey, that karma and that energy that they emit will come right back to.

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Knuckle sandwich by car. Some pictures I just wanted to interrupt the show and let you guys know we finally have Mirch, you've been asking for it. So I made a few designs. We got some Hurleys, some hats that say Sludge Barnhurst, see how and much more will come.

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What we have so far. Check out sledged Panmure dot com and the link will also be in the bio because I know no one can spell celebrityhood. But come check out the merch and thanks for listening back to the show.

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So I'm looking. I just have your only fans pull up. This is just funny. Like every time I talk to a model there's just like dicks everywhere on my computer is wide open. But I love this whole lumberjack character because and a lot of my handbook's when people don't know how to promote themselves and it's like a what makes you unique be like emphasize that. And what you've created is like a beautiful only fan's character that you get to create the storyline with your subs.

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And was it just easy for you to say, OK, this is what I do, I'm going to incorporate that because you have like nudes in the woods and I'm living for it? Yeah. I mean, I think to a degree it would be easy once I stop thinking about it because I spent some time kind of going through because I had been with in-person clients all the way up until, like, I think I told you, late November.

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And each client has different needs, right? For some, I'm a sexy handyman and a jockstrap. For others I am like doming the shit out of them in their living room. And for still others, I'm just a very, like, submissive, almost a daddy son situation where I'm just like, yes, daddy, you're the best, you know. Do you find that closeted men come to a lot? And how do you feel about that?

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I feel like because I'm providing a service to these men especially I mean, I primarily work with men. There have been a few women, but it's mostly mostly men. I just I try not to to judge at all because it's not going to provide a good experience for either of us. So when a closeted guy comes in and says, you know, my wife's at home and this is what I want and whatever, I'm just like, you know, that's your business.

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I'm here to make you feel good for the time that we're together. And I'm really sincere in that. I don't want people to feel shame about experiencing, like sexual gratification or even just intimacy in general.

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Wonderful, wonderful answer. And in my experience, when married men approach me and like you said, like, oh, my my wife's almost home that make this quick and you get women on social media. It's not just women, but I've seen more women say, like, you're disgusting for breaking up marriages, homewrecker. And why do people point blame at the person doing their job like, hello, maybe you should have a conversation with your husbands.

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Yeah, for real.

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Because honestly, if it weren't more, I was going to be somebody else, you know, say it louder for the people because I, I think communication in sex work and in normal life and your relationships is everything. So if you can't have those conversations with your spouse or partner out of fear, that's that's something that you need to work on. And sometimes the way you do that is by figuring out what you need through experiences like meeting with sex workers, even if it's just like coffee dates.

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I've been on a million coffee dates with closeted dudes that they literally wanted to pay me one hundred and fifty dollars an hour to sit and talk with them about what they were going through and how they were conflicted about their sexuality or wondering if they needed to end their relationships because they can't go anywhere with their wife, looking at their credit card or husband, just like just communicate, guys. Well, you do have a knack for communicating. I think you're a great listener and a great speaker.

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So, you know, that might be another service you could offer on your only fans like it. You want to talk? Let's talk. Yeah, but when I sub to your profile this morning, I was taking a look at your content and it's clear you've had surgery. And my biggest curiosity is asking you what like what gave you the courage to do that or was it an easy thing? And secondly, like, you look damn good. There's a photo of you in the woods putting your hat on and you're kind of smiling.

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And it's like a buff like Mac Miller kind of situation. I like it. Thank you.

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Yeah. For certain. As I've been, again, very fortunate in the use of my transition, but I got my top surgery, which is the technical term, is like a bilateral mastectomy. So they're removing all of the breast tissue, in some cases removing the nipple and and reshaping and slapping it back on their stitching up, calling you good. So I got that six months into my transition, which is like crazy fast.

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And that make you feel afterwards, or was it just did you feel more like towards your. I don't want to say it like completeness. Yeah, I get what you mean. I think that I yeah. Completeness is kind of like it's like the goal. But also you have to like respect the process too. Right. So. Yes. Yes, exactly. So I get what you mean. But for sure, as soon as those bodies were chopped off, I would just sit and stare at my chest, even though it was all puffy and swollen and I was high as shit.

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I was just like looking down and be like, fuck. Yes, this is exactly right. Well, I had a breast reduction and they reshaped my nipples to I used to have pepperoni in Ipswich. I was teased for. And even now, like I look at them, I am just like, oh, you, Matlovich. And then now I see these only fans models with heavier tits, big nipples. And I'm like, you know what?

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If there is a part of me that says, if I had been on my journey a little longer, maybe I would have kept my nipples the way they were, because seeing women being so empowered with them now, it's definitely made me change my thoughts on a lot of things. And it's been a cool experience overall. But getting the breast reduction and seeing those results and like, it's it's just fun to look in the mirror and be like, you know, I you know.

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Yeah. Being like you hot hell yeah. I'm going to let you guys out to play is off.

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And kind of like what we said before, like anyone on their experience, like it's your life. You can do whatever the fuck you want, like look at me. I'm not to be like me, me, me. But, you know, I didn't take the the straight and narrow and because I thought I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want and people will judge me for it. And maybe for you, it's like, you know, life was a little Zig-Zag, but you can do whatever the fuck you want.

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It's it's a concept.

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Yeah. Yeah. One hundred percent. I mean my if I a now thirty two year old trans man can have had so many different lives and now I'm just like I got this sexy man chance. I got a big old beard, I got a hot wife like I'm living my best life being a sex worker, getting on this only fans business. Like if I can do this and just be happy, then anyone can do into it. There are so many moments of my life where I was like, I'm never going to be happy or I'm going to die alone, or all those insecurities we tell ourselves about how we're not good enough.

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But you got to sometimes just fucking take the plunge. Would your wife ever make content with you? You know, I have we've we've joked about it a little bit. And actually, since I have been more into making content, like some of it at home, some out in the woods. But the more content I've been making, the more open she's been to me, like taking pictures of her, which has been fucking awesome. I love that.

[00:35:36]

I'm not sure we'll see.

[00:35:39]

It's definitely different for everyone. A lot of people ask me that because people are like, do you do boy, girl, blah, blah, blah? And I'm like, you know what? I do this for me. And I don't post my partner on social media at all because I share my life with everyone. And he's the only piece that's mine I given him.

[00:35:57]

Nobody will know if I feel like if I drag it on to only fans and all of a sudden our relationship is a business.

[00:36:04]

Yeah, about that. Yeah, it becomes a business with all of the expectations that come with it. So bottom surgery. Talk to me about that. I will talk to you about that. So I have had some bottom surgeries also. I feel like I should say for the general public that I'm going to open wealth of information. I am happy to answer questions about my surgeries. It's not something that you want to just ask somebody when you find out they're trans is definitely I have lot some people out real quick, like starting a new friendship.

[00:36:38]

And and you take that leap of faith and say, well, you know, I'm trans. And they're like, oh, my God, that's so cool. What surgeries have you had?

[00:36:46]

Yeah, like, do you have a penis? Do you have a vagina? And my I guess with this episode being about, you know, sex work and stuff, that was a heavy question for mine because I am so curious how. That works, but I definitely see the side of how something that's sacred to you. Yeah, yeah. How you want to kind of keep it keep it untainted. Yeah.

[00:37:11]

And I think it's very normal for the public to feel like that's OK to ask. But then it turns into the mindset of almost like calling someone into it, because then you're just like focusing on what they've done. I don't know. I'm trying to say this is the right way.

[00:37:29]

Know, just when you're focused on somebody's genitals and it's like a very benign setting, it's an objectification. That is where it is. That's the word. I love being objectified. It's like what I do. But if I'm just like talking to the fucking cashier and they ask me what's in my pants, I'm not going to be in a place where I'm willing to share that information. You know what I mean?

[00:37:55]

Well, I should politely ask, what are you comfortable sharing with about the bottom surgery? Because I know nothing about it.

[00:38:04]

Oh, girl, I'm here to school.

[00:38:05]

You school me, please, Matty. So I have had one compendium of bottom surgery. I haven't had phalloplasty or theater classes. Any of the ones that really change the shape of your junk. Let's just say a better word or term. What I have had is against the over ectomy where it's a hysterectomy plus removal of your ovaries and the ovaries are the organs in the natal female body that produce estrogen and create your cycle and all that stuff. So I took the leap.

[00:38:48]

And because of having a cycle and the potential of like pregnancy and that kind of thing I like, which is like, nope, not for me, not even thinking about it, I just jumped on the bandwagon quick and the second surgery I got is a between of plasty. And that is essentially where because your clit or as a lot of transmen like to call it their dick, it grows because of the hormones. And so essentially the maturity of plasty is removing some of the tissue that kind of keeps it in almost a downward position and allows it to have a little bit more freedom of movement.

[00:39:30]

That's so interesting because I always come topically and I am continually amazed at how I can just orgasm after orgasm, like literally. But basically, if you get the surgery that removes your dick, I'm wondering like, can you still orgasm? But then there's the alternative where you're taking the hormones to enlargers, you're a little bit so you still have the ability to orgasm. Like, is there a discussion when it comes to that?

[00:40:00]

I mean, not so much a discussion. It's kind of for me and I'm the same way like and I praise you for your passion regarding the Hitachi one, because, oh, my favorite tool of the trade one is value. So I do topically. I mean, especially now that I have like I call like my little sausage or or whatever. I love it, whatever I feel like calling it that day. I use that to top it off.

[00:40:31]

And I think I can't say this for sure, but I think a lot of like six dudes are missing out by not like bringing Hitachi into their own masturbatory scenes because it works wonders. Let me tell you, as somebody who has a little bit of a dick to work with, it's killer.

[00:40:49]

It especially running a sex toy store. It's another passion for me to help everyone understand their pleasure capacity. And the Hitachi is like a damn car motor. It's top notch. So I see that you are dipping your toes into selling underwear. How's that experience been for you? Dude, it has been so fucking fun. I got onto this website and I don't know if there are any men listening out there, but if there are, this is an option for you.

[00:41:25]

If you're interested. There's a website called Newsworld dot com. And so let's take a look.

[00:41:31]

It's like such a cute name for something that's like pretty raunchy, but it's like a marketplace specifically for men to sell your well-loved items. And so I've sold a couple of things on there and by request, which has been like I just I love the interactions that go into the transaction happening. Oh, there's some nice things on here. Yeah. Like you definitely need a lot of dick, but. There's like I never in a million years that I would be like monetizing my earwax and like my penis, but it's kind of amazing and fun to utilize something that would otherwise be getting flushed away.

[00:42:16]

Did you find it harder than you thought it would be to sell used items?

[00:42:22]

Yes and no, especially because I'm very green at using online platforms to peddle my wares. I thought, you know, I'm going to type in that I'm a trans dude and all the boys come into the yard because that's what I experienced on Rent Men, which is the platform I used for organizing my escort services. And so far it hasn't quite picked up as much as I would like it to. But I am usually getting like one to two sales a week.

[00:42:55]

And I like building those relationships with with the clients because like, there is a guy on the East Coast who ordered a pair of my skivvies that had been well worn and he requested I do a couple of things and then I come in. I'm a couple of times, which is pretty standard fare and that I take a nice, big, healthy piss in them. And I was like, you know, I can send you a video of me doing that for a couple extra bucks here and there.

[00:43:24]

Let me give you a look at you upselling. I love it. So proud of you. I learned it from you. So thank you.

[00:43:31]

Well, hey, you're actually putting it to work. There's you know, some people don't digest it and it says a lot. So thank you. Thank you. You're very welcome. Because it's one thing to read the e-book and be like, OK, now I have the tools, but you have to you have to work it. And I know that your guests in previous episodes have said this, but like, it really is work. You don't just, like, throw some pictures on the Internet and everybody shows up and wants to praise you.

[00:44:01]

You have to be on social media. You have to be posting content. You have to be coming up with creative ways to make content. So it's like it's a real job. I'm sorry. I'm infatuated with the rent men. It's it's just big city. I there are a couple of the guys that come up on my local page that, like, I have like 13 named storms and I'm like, wow, wow, holy shit.

[00:44:32]

That's I'm a little scared right now. Tell me about the time the guy licked your boots clean. Oh, that was one of my one of my favorite clients. I got to see him, I don't know, maybe about half a dozen times before the pandemic. But he started off messaging me and kind of being really general. And I'm like, OK, what are you interested in? And, you know, on these sites, you don't usually get very explicit because there's always that fear that it's being monitored somehow or you don't know who you're talking to.

[00:45:09]

And so I had gotten a sense of him and I was like, OK, I feel comfortable taking on, you know, your request and like, let's meet up. So I went over to his house and he opened the door and I can see a coffee table right behind him in his living room. And he just had like a row of like butt plugs, whips, paddles like dildos. You just had a ton of shit. And he was like, so.

[00:45:37]

And I had looked at him like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, this is like our first meeting here. I don't know if I'm ready to have all that going on. And he was like, no, those are for me. I want you to let me know how you like to use them. Oh, my God, that's amazing. And I was like, oh, fuck, yeah. So the first thing I did while, like, kind of previewing my new kingdom was I noticed that he had a dog collar and leash hanging right next to his door.

[00:46:05]

I gave him the collar and I said, put this on. And he was like, Yes, sir. And I said, get on your knees. You got on his knees. And I led him with the leash across the room, sat on his couch and said, look, I'm clean. And he just went to town like in my work work boots top to bottom.

[00:46:22]

Was that just second nature to you to command him to do that? Or like, what inspired you?

[00:46:29]

I, I think I saw the opportunity and I took it.

[00:46:35]

Oh, my God. What did his wife think about this?

[00:46:38]

I mean, she loves hearing the stories. We kind of have not an arrangement, but we can understanding and understanding where she wants to know about my work and she wants to know the fun parts about my work. But she also does worry when I go out for calls especially, and that like, what if this one is the serial? You know, luckily, that has not happened. Do you have like a protocol or a safety situation? Yeah.

[00:47:10]

So before we call, I share my location with her. I give her a reasonable number of details about where I'm going to be and for how long. And then I will text her before I go in and as soon as I come out. And occasionally, if she is feeling particularly anxious, like if I have gone far away for a call, she will ask me like a question only I will know the answer to, just to ensure that I have not been kidnapped and put in a trunk or something.

[00:47:43]

I admire her so much. She's the bomb.

[00:47:46]

I never, ever thought in my life I wouldn't have a relationship with somebody who is a respect's. My hustle and B is just like, yeah, sex work is work. I've met a couple who were in an open relationship and only one of them wanted to hear about the other's experiences. And it was really intriguing to me how the brain works to desire that because I myself am a very jealous person. But I do enjoy threesomes because I get the control of seeing him with another person versus him doing it on his own or anything like that.

[00:48:24]

It's just very interesting how different people have different boundaries. But the ones who are open to the kind of understanding you have, I, I just feel like they're in an elevated status of love.

[00:48:36]

Yeah. I mean, like I said earlier, communication, and it takes a ton of trust. And I'm really grateful that she trusts me in the way that she does because it's such a gift. And I don't want to get too corny, but like I feel like it's a pretty rare find.

[00:48:55]

I am just at a loss for words. I know that that's like a whole nother topic.

[00:49:02]

But anyways, so enclosure, how can you simply not be a dick to your friendly everyday trans sex worker? Maybe the top thing I think that I wish people would do more for me to show me respect is asking if it's OK to ask a certain question, because like if somebody can ask in a respectful way, that means that they care what my perception of them is. If somebody is just like, yo, you got a dick or a pussy, then I'm less inclined to answer that in a friendly way, you know?

[00:49:39]

So that's one way to not be a dick. And to my experience has been that there are quite a few people that became clients after a lot of work who initially had no idea that I was a trans man. They read my profile and somehow they still missed it. And then when we met in person, they're like, oh, I was not expecting that the next way to not be a dick is to be be OK with unexpected moments and to navigate through them like an adult.

[00:50:13]

Well said. Yeah. Wow. That's I couldn't imagine that kind of situation. It's I and a lot of times when I talk to people I know I shouldn't make their experiences about me. I just I try to relate and understand a lot. And after having the reduction, getting naked in front of someone that was always in the back of my mind, like, are they going to look at my scars? You know, I think everyone can feel insecure about different body parts, but that's as far as I can relate to that.

[00:50:42]

And getting to the point where you're just comfortable with it, like on my only fans, I rarely smoother edit out my scars any more. But the thing is, you also can if you want to, you know, does matter, do whatever the fuck you want. But it's it's a journey. It's a process. Yeah. So what are your goals for being a content creator? And twenty.

[00:51:03]

Twenty one of my goals. One, are you up my game on social media. I have never ever in my life use Twitter until maybe like three weeks ago and I have no idea what I'm doing. So I want to study a more social media marketing and kind of start implementing that posting more frequently and using this time where we're all supposed to be apart to take advantage of really honing in on my persona for only fans and coming up with just really dope and creative content.

[00:51:43]

That's a great answer. There's a silver lining in this situation that we're all going through, and sex work is definitely a great opportunity if you're willing to take that risk. So, yeah, thank you so much for sharing your story today. I think you are just an amazing. Using human being, you inspire me and empower me in so many ways, just from what I've learned and want to continue to learn. Is there anything that you'd like to tell our listeners?

[00:52:13]

Well, one, that you are all on the bomb and you should do what makes you feel good, no matter what the fuck it is, as long as you're not hurting somebody without consent. And also to you, just like thank you for being so open to having this conversation. Thank you for being a role model to all of us entrepreneurial sluts, because Lord knows there are so many people out there putting information into the world that is actually harmful.

[00:52:43]

And I feel like you take your responsibility as this content creator and kind of guide for people very seriously. And I appreciate that so much.

[00:52:53]

Thank you. It's been very fulfilling to find some purpose and being able to execute it in a positive way. So thank you again. All right. That is all we will see next week and go get that money. Love you guys. Bye.