The TMZ podcast.
Hello and welcome to the TMZ podcast. I'm Charlie Cotton and today I'm joined by Derek Koffman.
Juneteenth edition, day after Father's Day, man, it's big day. How was your Daddy day? It was wonderful. How was yours? I know you've got a little peach. I saw a picture on Instagram you posted of something all over her face, which is every father. Chocolate cake. It's just chocolate cake all over her face.
Do you get any.
Good presents? She's the cutest. You know, I got some artistic presents and my kids are not that talented in that realm, but they try hard. It's all the effort.
You got to pretend. You still got to pretend. You love it.
Carter just drew a series of Hs. He said, do you like letters? And he was like, I hope you like the letter H because it was just a page with Hs all over it. Anyway. H is a good letter to draw. He loves that one.
Okay, well, we got some really interesting stories today. Kourtney Kardashian announced she was pregnant in a very public way. A lot of people are groaning about it.
I'm one of those. You'll hear me groaning later.
That sounds... Anyway. Megan Markle, she's rumored to be signing a new deal.
With Dior. Got a lot of thoughts there.
And if you want to buy Beyonce's bidet, I may have.
The thing for you. I think by the end of this episode, you and I may be going in on a bid day purchase. I have a feeling that that might happen. But let's start with Courtney. Go ahead. Okay. What's the big news?
The big news. Congratulations, Courtney and Travis, because Courtney's pregnant.
How did she announce it in a very subtle.
Understated way? Yeah, she didn't want the cat to get out of the bag too much. So she just held up a sign at a Blink 182 concert saying, Hey, Travis, I'm pregnant. Shock on Travis's face. He can't believe she's pregnant. He stops.
The show. Oh, what a way to learn. I just wanted a drum tonight. Now we're going to be a Daddy all over again.
He walks out there in shock and gives her...
I don't want to pierce the balloon on a beautiful moment, but I'm going to do so quickly because Shane Mowgler, who is one of my favorite people on TMZ Earth.
Wow. Not a lot of people say that.
I love her.
Shane Mowgler. She has been trolling this relationship from the start. And so she said, I've known for weeks. I don't know. This is not news to me, which is so brilliant because if Shane Mowkler had known for weeks, that means Travis knew and the whole thing was a charade because there's no way Shane knows something that Travis doesn't know. Totally. Also, tell me what Courtney looks like. This is does Courtney look like she just took a test and you can't tell at all, or is she bumping already?
Look, I'm no doctor. I'm no OBGYN.
But we've seen this. We've seen this process in our own lives.
But she looks pregnant, man.
She looks pregnant.
Pregnant, man. She looks pregnant. She looks pregnant to the public. So if we as observers who just follow Kourtney Kardashian around can see a bump, then Travis, who sees her naked all the time because all they do is make out behind dumpsters and touch each other at all moments of the day, he knows she's pregnant. So I just don't like the fainting of surprise at all. It's a concert. I'm pregnant poster. Just announce it. Just say on Instagram, we're happy to have him holding your belly like those stupid pictures. I hate this nonsense. I really do because he clearly knew if this was truly like, she took a test and doesn't look pregnant at all, I might buy it. But even then, I'd be cynical because it's the Kardashians and they do everything.
This. Basically, how dumb do they think we are? Pretty dumb is the answer that question.
They're pushing the envelope. They already know we're pretty dumb. We're okay. We're being hooked along. But they're trying my patience a little bit. They are. Aren't they trying your patience by assuming I'm this dumb? We're already pretty dumb.
We're pretty dumb. But for them to think that... For them to think that we wouldn't know just by looking at her, she's clearly been pregnant, I don't know how many months, but it's not like she just ate a big burrito.
Right. These women are in impecable shape because their job is to look a certain way. All of their clothes are very form fitting. They never wear... They don't dress like Billy Eilish. They're not an oversized sweatshirt. So we know exactly what their bodies look like because everything is a skim on them. And we know, Courtney. And yes, you have to undo the speculation. We can't assume, are you pregnant? That's a weird thing to assume about someone. But Travis probably knew. That's what bothers me about this. Now, they've documented their struggles. Look, Courtney is, I believe, 44. How old is she? She's got to be 40. So I'm 43 and she's the older Kadesh. I think I'm the same age as Kim, who is like...
You're the same age.
As Kim? Yes. Our lives have followed the same trajectory.
Who's got a better booty?
We're twins. But I believe.
Courtney is older. Forty four.
You got it on the nose.
She's 44 years old. That was the age Steve Irwin was when he died.
Rip. Rip. Way to bring that up after Father's Day. So Courtney is older, so they've been documenting their struggles with in vitro fertilization. They clearly want to make a kid. It's t's lovely that they are starting a family. I have nothing against them starting a family. What I have against them is announcing it and Travis's going, Oh, my, on stage. No, come on.
We know. Well, it'll be interesting to see how the other events in the pregnancy go. This is how big the baby show, the gender reveal will be something else. You go to Coachella or something and they'll do something grand.
They need a storyline too, because Courtney is clearly lagging behind in terms of the popularity of the Kardashans.
I don't know where she's running. I don't.
Know where she's running. Well ahead of Rob, but not one of the big Courtney, Kyle.
Kiber, Kendall. Chloe's always in first place.
We're running in first place. Chloe always gets a good storyline because she's.
Haphless in some ways. I guess they need to dream up story lines for their TV show. And so this is one of the, oh, hijinks that they'll do behind the scenes. And we'll have more.
Beautiful kids. The next generation is going strong. I even had it on this weekend. I saw North dressed up, Kim, and and some high drinks.
It'll be interesting to see what the other sisters feel about it. What Scott Disick thinks about it. Lord Disick. Now that complicates things.
It does. So all her children are with Scott, but this one will be with Travis. So it does. Scott always had that. He's like, That's her new husband. That's all well and good. They can go be hot and heavy.
With each other.
It's a family now. But I'm Uncle Scott. Well, now Uncle Travis is truly ruly... And I'm sure he's integrated into the family even before having kids, but it creates a little dynamic because you know who's sensitive? Scott Disick. Yeah. Scott Disick is a great character on the show because unlike Kim, who's just unaffected and just moves on with everything, and she's the businesswoman, he's all emotions. He's depressed, he can be angry. That's what we like and come back for. So I want to see how this impacts Scott. I hope it's fine. It's lovely and the family dynamic is great.
Congratulations. Congratulations. Sorry to dump on it. All of that sense. We're only dumping on the announcement not on that they're having a baby, right?
Of course. Congratulations and all that. But, you know, Jesus. Also, a lot of Kardashians use surrogate. Clearly, she's not. Well, I would assume she's not just by the photos.
Yeah, you know, that's interesting. I didn't even think of that. She's doing it natural. And it's higher risk. I mean, that's not shade on her. If she's 44, it's a higher risk pregnancy. But apparently, she wants to do it. She loves having kids the old fashioned way. Yeah. Good for them.
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The cameras stopped rolling on Vanderpump Rules, and that's when it all got real. I'm Jax Taylor. And I'm Brittany Carmichael. And we are talking about everything on our podcast, When Reality Hits.
Marriage and parenthood, friendships.
And feuds. Definitely feuds. And life before, during, and after Vanderpump Rules.
So listen to.
With Jax Taylor and.
Brittany Cartwright. At Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On to our next story. Megan Markle of Harry and Megan fame. She is reportedly going to sign a deal with Dior, the perfume place.
Needed another headline, huh, Megan? Because they were pretty rough last week when your podcast.
Got canceled. Well, apparently this is going to blow that news out of the water, the podcast cancelation, because Dior, obviously, one of the biggest perfume companies. Do they make anything else.
Besides perfume? They're most known for perfume, I guess. They do fashion and all that other stuff, too, but they're a perfume brand.
Well, it's just interesting that from both of their perspectives, that Megan would want Dior and that Dior would want Megan because Dior, you know who the face of their male section is?
Ripping a page out of the old Johnny Depp.
Handbook, right? Johnny Depp. So it's like, why do they get these celebrities who refresh your scent, refresh your image with Dior?
I think there's a couple of things going on. So they're called massive deals, but I think Dior swoops in when celebrities are at their lowest and probably gets pretty good deals. Is it about the deal? I think it's a pretty good deal. So Johnny Depp after the trial, yes, he won. He beat Amber Heard, but he's at a pretty low point. We had heard a lot of nasty things about who he is as a person, text messages and so forth. And Dior took a chance on him. I bet they got a pretty good deal because I don't think there were a.
Flood of offers. 20 million. 20 million, and they got Johnny for.
Which is good, but they might have signed him for the rest of his life. Who knows? 20 million is a lot of money, but Johnny Depp used to get 20 million per movie. So I don't know what the terms of the deal are, how long it is, what his obligations are. It could be like he's got to travel the globe and spray himself constantly. I don't know. What a joke. But Megan's in a similar spot because Spotify just announced, Hey, this isn't working out. You're not giving me enough content. Archetypes wasn't a big success and so forth.
So they parted ways. Reportedly, Netflix isn't too happy with them either. And they've got a bigger deal with Netflix, like 100 million or so with Netflix. So it'd just be interesting just for the former princess to be signing a perfume deal. It just seems it's such a weird... Is Prince Charles going to sign with Air Jordans next? It just seems like weird partnership.
It's a strange partnership. I think what happens with these perfume deals is Megan Marco is beautiful. Johnny Depp is extremely attractive and charismatic. But you don't have to talk that much in perfume deals, right? You're just a pretty face. When Megan had to do a podcast, went a little sideways. When Johnny's words came out through the trial, a little dicey.
Just shut up and.
Spray yourself. Shut up and spray yourself. All we want to see is that p unnel. Look at that beautiful face. They got great bone structure, both of them. So I think it's a good move for them. I do think it is not a path to necessarily resurrecting your image. I don't know many perfume icons who I care about all that much. I think it's a way that's lucrative. They've got bills to pay. They got that fancy house and so forth. She's tried podcast, but as a personality, it wasn't working. So this is a good step for them. But I don't necessarily think Dior is in a good bargaining spot to say, What are you going to do?
What else he got? What are the deals he got on the table?
And that's always a good position at a bargaining table to be like, What are you looking for? Because I don't see anyone else banging down your door. I'll get you $5 million.
I'll give you a.
Few bucks. A few bucks, a few shekels.
Crazy hypothetical. Could you ever see Johnny and Megan as a couple?
Amazing. Could you go from a prince to Jack Sparrow? Yeah, I guess I could see it. He's Prince Lee. He's Prince Lee. He's got a certain regal air to him. I could see that couple. I mean, she's going to have to break up with her. Harry's all emotions and whining. And Johnny has got a little swagger. So maybe she wants something different.
I could see it.
There'll be an interesting pairing. Will she want to have her image at all next to Johnny Depp? Do you think they're going to be in commercials together?
Wow. They're spraying each other.
She's ultra feminist, right? That is her brand is empowerment, I am strong, hear me roar. And Johnny, regardless of what you think of him, whether he should have won the trial or not, a lot of weird stuff came out about his relationships with women. Will she allow herself to be next to Dior? Because this is what I don't like about Megan. She's all about her image and the pride in her image, but she's willing to be associated with a brand that signed Johnny Depp as well.
How do you square that? It makes sense, actually, from Dior's standpoint, that you have this counterweight to Johnny because they caught a bit of flak for like, Why would you sign this guy who... Maybe he wasn't guilty of all the crazy allegations, but he was guilty of a lot. He was a bad...
At a minimum, he's...
A good look.
So they signed him. Maybe Megan is the counterweight. And I don't know, maybe this can be really good. Maybe we'll forget about everything that Harry and Megan have done over the last few years and just be like, just, Scent is something that it transports your mind. It makes me forget things.
It's interesting to hear you think they signed Johnny and they need someone to lift their image. So Megan is that. I think they just sign all the horribles. To me, signing Megan is her reputation is obviously very different than Johnny Depp. I'm not accusing her of any of the same things, but her reputation is in the toilet as well. Maybe they also go after Woody Allen, Cosby, R. Kelly deal. Maybe they just sign. R. Kelly I like that. They sign all of them. They sign all the terribles. And I'm not saying they do the same terrible stuff, but Dior seems to like speaking out against canceled culture and things like that. They're like, We're not going to cancel them. Johnny Depp is still handsome. Megan Markle is still wonderful. I don't care if you listen to her podcast. H, maybe this is Dior's play to assemble like anti Avengers.
Ode to OJ.
Yeah. It smells like orange juice.
Are you okay? Are you a bit sick, man? I got a little something I'm getting over, but I'm.
All right. Well, okay. Well, we're thinking of you, all right? Thank you. Okay, speaking about in the toilet, Beyonce's bidet is up for sale. I might add also Jay Z might have sat there too. But let's just go with Beyonce's bidet. From a house that they rented for a year, well, after they finished renting it, the owner wanted to remodel it. So these people came in and took everything out and took everything down. And some of the stuff they got... Well, bidet obviously gets the headline.
That's really the highlight for you, after that it's just doors.
And windows. Well, yeah. I thought it was like a sconce. Who ever knows what a sconce even is? And it's sconce and doors and who cares? It's all about that Badea.
What's the bidet going for? What's he.
Listening at? They're thinking it might get $2,400 is what the...
That is a spicy meatball. I got toilets and toilets are usually like, I don't know, cheap toilet you can get for $200. Oh, really? This is a fancy bidet. This doesn't even flush. This just shoots a jet of water into your body. And so why would this be Bionese bidet go for such a premium? I mean, it's a simple device. Do you have any ideas?
Is it maybe because her rear end has...
I think it may have.
Something to do with it. Pressed against that porcelain.
We talk about this a lot in the room, and Charlie and I have been put into weirdo corner whenever people say, I think we're just honest, that the premium this will get is because there's some weirdos out there who want to sit there, rump on the same thing that Beyonce sat her rump on, or they want to preserve it. It's got Beyonce essence. I don't know. Maybe they don't want anyone.
To use it. They'll put it in for mildew hide.
Well, because you don't want your guests coming in. If you came over my house and you dare step on the Beyonce bidet, I would.
Destroy you. It'd be the one reason people come over. Like, can I use the restroom? It's like, you just.
Got here. Just a little pit stop before we get started. I wouldn't let you use it. I wouldn't let you come gaze upon it. I would be like, that's Beyonce's bidet and no one's used it. And if you dared to try to go to the bathroom, I would just tackle you.
I wouldn't allow it. Yeah. See, if she came out right today and said, look, I never used it. The price obviously plummets to... It was essentially like give it away for free then.
Right. If she came out and said, look, I'm glad everyone they're selling all this stuff. I don't use bidets. I don't like them. But then Jay Z was behind her and been like, I use it all the time.
Well, you might get a few weirdos there too.
Get a couple.
Of bucks for that. But what ends up she came out and said, I use that thing twice a day.
Would you? When she came out, it was like favorite room in the house. I'm surprised I ever left it. Never cooked, never slept in the bedroom, but I was on that thing for three years. That thing's going to go for 10 grade.
I called it my Bay Day.
How do you not call it your Bay Day? That's brilliant. If you were marketing this thing, now you got a $5,000 price tag. This is Beyonce's Bay Day.
Her Bay Day.
Yes, this is beautiful. How much are you paying for it right now, if they said, look, open up the checkbook, it could be yours.
I think it's so cool. Did you see it, too? It has the gold handles. It goes with nothing in my house. It would just sit there as its own thing.
You'll keep it in the living room.
Everyone knows the only reason you bought it is because Beyonce's butt's been on there because there's no... I couldn't tell Mary like, Oh, it fits with our decor. It doesn't fit at all with our decor.
Derek, you're back using the bidet again? You've used it three times today.
Daddy's in the bidet again. Daddy's bidetting again. Yeah, it would be a pretty special piece.
Last thing, a piece like it's art. Whose bidet would you most want out there? Alive or dead, whose bidet would you most treasure?
I think you're thinking I'm going to creep out and ask for some really beautiful one. But I think I'd most like Sylvestre Sloane's bidet. Okay. Yeah. I think that'd be a really cool piece to say, Hey, I got to go clean myself because I think.
That's cool. He will have eaten in his life lots of protein powders and creatine and all that stuff. So he's.
Used it. That bidet has been through it. It's been through it and it's kept tickin g. And that's why I want that one. I don't know. Beyonce might as well do do flowers. That bidet hasn't been put through its paces. But Sly, a thing.
All right, if you're listening, Sly, we got someone with an.
Offer for you. I got an offer. Yeah.
All right. Well, thank you very much. Happy belated.
Father's Day. Thanks for inviting me on the Bideca n podcast.
I appreciate it. More Boudet News tomorrow. All right. See you later, guys. Bye.