From.

Wundry and Dr. Suez, broadcasting all the way from Mount Crumpet Studios, where there's more negative energy than the cloud of electrons surrounding the nucleus of an atom, Tiz, The Grinch, holiday talk show. This week, ha-ha, made you look, it's Megan Traynor. You can stop looking now, Mac. She's not actually out here yet. But first, the man of the hour. He might smell terrible, but at least his odor matches his personality. It's The Grinch!

Okay, welcome. Not sure when I agreed to be insulted at the top of every show. I don't remember signing that document. But speaking of my personality, something's, of course, bugging me today, and I'm prepared to talk about it.

Hold onto your seats, keep on your pants. The Grinch is going on one of his rants.

Tis the season for airport pickups, am I right? What is it that makes in-laws, cousins, aunts, uncles think that it's normal for you to just drop whatever you're doing and become their personal chauffeur at the holidays? Hi, it's Anne Elizabeth. My flight gets in at 9:00 PM. Wow! The cost of a cab in Hoover County sure is so expensive. I don't suppose you could come pick me up, can you, Grinchy boy? Come pick me up, lift me up and hoist me into your little truck and drive me everywhere I want to go. A relative, you didn't even want to come visit? One year to buy an air mattress for it, who bad than beyond? And suddenly you're their personal taxi service. Listen, family and friends do what a normal person does. Get a train map, a bus ticket, a car service, or better yet, catch hike. What's the worst that could happen? We're busy. We're getting our homes ready for you to come in and wreck. Sheets and towels and spare beds are being ready for your holiday freeloading kabooses.

Do you have any friends or family coming for Christmas?

No, I do not because I don't have any friends or family. Kind of sad when you say it out loud, right?

Yeah, .

Perfect. The awkward silence that follows a cringey self-admission. That's the mood I'm trying to go for on this show, okay? Well, time to see what's in the advent calendar. If you all could only see this beauty, I mean, it's seven feet tall, smells of cedar and rotten eggs because I rubbed raw rotten eggs all over it. A smell that I think captures the true essence of Christmas. With 10 little cabinet doors, one for each show leading up to December 25th, the big day, each with a special grungy gift inside of it. Let's see what's in today's window here. Oh, wow. New from the South Pole Elves, who, let me tell you, are a very different breeding. It's the scarlet. Okay, picture this, Cindy. It's 5:00 AM on Christmas morning, and your stockings are above the fireplace, stuffed with all sorts of amazing things like travel size deodorant. Your parents aren't up yet, but you're just dying to get your hands inside that big flat sock. You reach for your stalking and… What was that? The snarland is a garland composed entirely of ultra-aggressive venous fly traps. Use it year round. It's home security. The Snarland from the South Pole Elks.

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eagle. Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black pill. Nothing like a little Christmas chaos to get me through my least favorite time of the year. When people lose their minds for a Dingle Bell, Tensile, Peppermint, and pine trees, all in anticipation of a bearded red, chimney pirate named Santa Claus. They think he's the nicest, sweetest, jolly old Elton, and everything to do with him is peachy-key. Well, guess what? It's not true. I'm about to blow the roof off of that Gingerbread House with us today as an anonymous Elf. He wants to go by the name, the totally made up name of Danny Elfman, who escaped the horrendous working conditions of Santa's workshop and is now in the Federal Elf Protection Program. How are you, Danny? Thanks for coming on my show. I'm good. So you got out of the big.

House, huh? That's right.

So what was it really like working up there? Really bad, right?

Not a bunch of happy elves whistling while we worked making cute toys, I can tell you that much. Santa's workshop actually has a lot of divisions. It's not just toys, we're making shoes, belts, tents, industrial strength, fire hoses, garden hoses, wire hangers, plastic hangers, door hooks, door knobs, door mats, place mats, even them little U-shaped bathroom mats that hug the base of your toilet, all kinds of stuff.

Really? Wow. I love those. Now, did you ever meet the big guy?

Well, by me, you mean catch a glimpse of him while we stood on a balcony three levels above the production floor with a bullhorn barking at us.

Oh, my! That sounds positively awful. What were your living.

Conditions like? We were stacked like cans and potato chips and bunk beds, 15 bunks high. Some nights an Elf would roll off the top bunk in their sleep and crash right to the floor. Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep.

Do Elves squeak when they make impact like a dog toy?

That's offensive, but yes, yeah, we're squeaky. We're squeaky guys.

Outrageous and for food.

One meal a day, if we're lucky. Flavorless gruel made from bread crust, banana peels and beet juice.

Cut it. Stop the tape. I said cut it. Cut it off. Stop the tape. Well, it seems as though we're having some technical difficulties. Please, stand by.

Mr. Grinch, were you just having a conversation with a prerecorded voice? What?

Me? No. Cindy, where did you come up with this stuff? That was Danny... What was his name? Elfman. Danny Elfman from the North Pole. Clearly one of Santa's former disgruntled elves.

Nice try, Mr. Grinch. Very creative, but also very far-fetched.

What gave it away? The bunk beds, 15 bunk high, too cartoony. I knew it. See, this is why I need someone I can bounce my prank off of for quality control purposes. Cindy, set up some interviews for next week. Right on it. No, wait, scratch that. I don't want to meet a bunch of eager people. Okay. Eager and ambitious job seekers with their resumes and their skill sets. No, thank you. I'd rather talk to a wall, which reminds me of our guest tonight. So boring. Mr. Grinch, remember our little.

Chat about not insulting our guests? They traveled all the way to Hooverill just to be here. Oh, and I'm extra excited about this one. Roll the music and...

My guest tonight is a multi-platinum, Grammy award winning singer, songwriter and producer who is unapologetically all about that face. Plus, she's an author now and mommy to two boys who, if I met, I politely pat on the head, then move along before they try to bond with me. Please welcome Megan Traynor. Hi.

I'm so honored to be here. Thanks for.

Having me. You know, when I heard you were coming on the show, I told Cindy Luhu, she's my producer, I said, Cancel. That's what I said. No. I said, This cave wasn't built for the modern echoes of doo-wop. It's an acoustic thing. Have you ever performed in a cave? Red Rocks doesn't count.

Oh, I haven't performed in a cave, but I'm supposed to perform at Red Rock soon. Are you going to come?

You're invited. I think I'm busy that night. But Red Rocks, I mean, that's a beautiful place to perform.

That's a big one.

If I wasn't banned from entering Colorado, I tried to steal Christmas there, too, and a bunch of guys in puffy vests were just ready for me. Listen, your first big song was all about that bass. Yes. I don't think I've heard that one before. Jk. Jk. Heard it everywhere, every day in my life.

It was a big one.

You know, a lot of songs, I don't get the lyrics, but in all about that bass, there's no ambiguity there, is there? It tells you exactly what it's about.

That bass Yeah, you got some bass.

I do have some bass. Let me see. Let me see how low I can get real quick. Yeah. How low can you go? Can you do it without laughing? No. It's hard to do it without laughing. Anyway, that was 10 years ago. What is Megan Traynor all about these days?

My babies.

Yay.

Babies. I got two boys. I have a two year old. Two boys. Yep, two boys. And then I have a four month old, a little baby. I just had him.

Four.

Month old. Yeah, my son Riley, he's got a little princess voice, a very high pitched voice, just Hi, what are we doing? That's how he talks. He's like, opposite of you.

That's adorable. Yeah. I feel like people are very unsettled when I speak in my high voice. You know what I mean? I was in the crib and I would be like, Moby. Moby, get in here. I need a change, Mommy.

Yeah, and you ate glass and stuff.

I ate glass and I enjoy insects. Do you get weird cravings when you have these kids? Are you like, I need fried crickets right now.

Yeah, no, I was just hungry. I just wanted everything. I wanted to eat.

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. In many ways, I'm like a pregnant woman. I like to eat a lot. Yeah. Maybe that just makes me like a person. Yeah. Now that I think about it, persons just eat.

A lot, don't they? Yeah. Are you a person?

You know what I am? I'm a Grinch. I'm both the Grinch and a Grinch. And that's really the best way I can put it. You know what, Megan? I like this lyrics of yours. I know you're lying because your lips are moving. Tell me, do you think I'm dumb? I mean, that is... That is ripped straight from my frontal lobe. Can I tell you that?

Yeah, you would like my sassy songs.

I love your sassy songs because every time I talk to a who, I think to myself, Do you think I'm dumb? When was the last time that that.

Happened to you? My husband. My sweet husband, who is a spy kid. He's very cool. He wasn't a spy kid. He wasn't a spy kid. He was Juney.

He was Juney and a spy kid. Well, what did he say to you?

It's every day with the baby stuff. I was going to make a bottle and he's like, Let me make it, because he figured I would make it wrong. And I was like, You just press a button, babe. I could do this. But he's so sweet when we.

Love him. These men, they just think they know everything. Now that song is about lying.

Yeah, you shouldn't lie. I also feel like you would love my song Me Too, because it's like, If I was you, I'd want to be me too. And that's very grungy.

That is very grungy. Your music is so cheerful. Have you ever heard one of your songs playing somewhere weird and thought to yourself, Yeah, this song doesn't really fit the vibe?

I play a lot in stores like Home Depot or CVS or the mall. I'm in a lot of shopping places, and I get a lot of videos from my friends and family, and they're like, That's you out there. Do you hear it? And it still freaks me out hearing myself on speakers at a random store.

Oh, I bet. And especially when they pan down from the speaker to some tradesman who's holding a caulking gun. I don't remember this making trainer sock being about home repair, tool and dye repair.

Yeah, I've heard me at Home Depot. It's pretty weird.

What were you buying? A big bag of nails?

I was buying paint because I was painting my son's room.

What color is it? Let me guess blue.

One of them is blue. The new baby's room, his name is Barry. So we did all bears all over the walls, and it's blue and bears.

Barry.

And then Riley, my oldest boy, has a sage green in his room, but I want to change it.

Anything for our children. Anything for.

Our child. I have a towel warmer, and I keep getting made fun of because every time he takes a bath, I go, We have to put his towel in the warmer so he gets a nice, warm.

Cozy towel. That's a bridge too far. I wouldn't even do that for my dog. And I know people hate it. Now the Grinch is talking about his dog, Max, like it's the same exact thing. I know it's not the same exact thing, but I love him. I love him. I want the fuzzy, warm towel like we live in Britain.

That's your baby. Yeah.

I went on a trip to England once because I really wanted to see all the torture devices in that big tower.

That was your Christmas gift to yourself?

That was my Christmas gift for me. I said I want to be shooed away from museum exhibits by a man in a silly hat. Yes.

Was it awesome?

Oh, it was the best time of my life, except for the sweating everywhere I went because no one's ever heard of.

A fan. Yeah, you might have to get a trim.

I do need a trim. It's been a minute.

Do you shave your whole body? You got hair everywhere.

I spot shave because there are certain patches that just get unruly. You know what I'm.

Talking about? Yeah, it.

Gets madded. Now, I read a story in your book. Wait, was this in your book? Maybe I was just Googling around. Okay, so is it true that your husband shaved your legs during your pregnancy?

Oh, yeah. I couldn't reach. My belly was too big.

I've never been pregnant before, but I'm going to say I can empathize with that a very great deal because I have a lot of trouble bending past my iconic potbelly to shave myself.

Yeah, your belly is there, buddy.

Do you think your husband could come over and.

Shave me sometime? He would be honored. He would love it. Yeah? Yeah.

You think he'll be weirded out by all my Spy Kids merch?

No, he'll probably sign them for you. He'd be so honored. Oh, he's into it. He's more of a fan of you. Oh, really? We watch your movie every year.

You watch my movie every year? I watch Spy Kids every day. Now we're talking about your book, Dear Future Mama. Is that Mama the American way or is that Italian? Is it like Mama?

No one's questioning me until you, Grinch. So thanks, man. I'm going to stick to it. I can't go back.

Yeah, you can. Future mama. Are you Clairvoie? How can you see in the future?

I have a song called Dear Future Husband, and I was like, Oh, I'm writing a book for pregnant women who are going to have a.

Baby soon. And then they pick up your boat and they think, Oh, that reminds me of the song. And then they go buy the album and they listen to the album. They go, Oh, I should listen to all the other albums. Because I'm a genius. They go buy all.

The other albums. I'm smart.

And then they look around the room and they're like, I need more paint. I'm going to Home Depot. And then the song is playing there. You can't escape me. You are omnisiant. Is that the right word? I'm the present. Whatever. I don't know. I don't have my thesaurus with me. Max, go get my thesaurus. Now, the description of your book reads, The Reel talk about pregnancy, birth, body image, and the newborn days. I'm a big body image guy. Can I tell you that? In fact, I have a body image in my living room. It's a floor to ceiling oil painting of my body. Head to toe, no detail spared. Now I can make you a print of that if you'd like. Is that something you'd be interested in?

Yeah, that would be beautiful in my home.

Now I've gotten to a good place in my body image, but what advice would you give to a kid who maybe doesn't love his body because it's on the greener side?

Oh, I would say be nice to yourself. Treat yourself like how you would want others to treat you. Because when you have negative, bad thoughts, you're just going to think those over and over and over again. But if you start talking nice to yourself, you're going to hear those good thoughts over and over again. So with my kids, I have my son, every night we do really cute affirmations. We say out loud like, I am smart, I am brave, I am beautiful. And you'll start to see your brain starting to believe that more and start to love yourself more. Sometimes when I get really nervous, I pet my arms. I pet down my arms, and it makes me feel really comfortable and everything's okay.

Yeah, I can really relate to that because I'll often feel lice crawling through my hair and scales and I'll pet my arms for a really long time. Kind of like for days and days and days. Yuck. But that sounds like a nice nighttime routine. You brush your teeth, you forget to flush, you get in bed, and then you say to yourself, You know what? I'm a Grinch, and I'm green and that's a different color from some of the people in my neighborhood, but that's chill.

It's a beautiful color.

It's a beautiful color. I love my vertebrae. You know that thing where it's like it's brass, but it's starting to turn green? Underneath me is a blazing trumpet of gold brass.

And you're funny.

And I'm funny and I'm furry, and I'm scaly, and I'm punchy and I have big mood swings.

That's.

Cool. And that's cool.

It's part of my charm.

You have a big heart.

Okay. It's getting bigger. I see what you're trying to do.

And it's fun to have a big heart. It's cool to have a big heart.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. Megan Traynor, no, it's not. Since we're on the subject, I guess I'll do my court-ordered, heart-warming Christmas question. Megan, I hate this part. What's it like seeing your kids experience the holiday traditions that you and your husband both.

Grew up with. Oh, it's awesome.

Just answer it quick.

We decorate starting right after Halloween. It is Christmas time.

After Halloween? Yeah.

What about Thanksgiving? We skip right over. It is Christmas time. The is up before Thanksgiving.

Well, what about the Thanksgiving cornucopia?

We just like going right to the holidays, and I want the decorations up as long as I possibly can. So the day after Halloween, I got to put up the tree because it makes you warm and fuzzy, just like you were talking about. And it's the best feeling ever, and it reminds me of family. I look at all those things, and I know you're alone up there with your dog, but you're welcome to come over to my house. Oh, great. And you could be a part of our family. I love dressing my little kids up in the Christmas picture and taking pictures with them. You know my older brother dresses up like you a lot. That's how much we love you.

You're telling me that part of your Christmas tradition is involved cosplaying as me?

Yes, you are in my home with you whether you like it or not.

That's so sweet. No, no, no heart. No. Down. Down, boy.

Stop it. I'm going to send you a picture of Little Riley with you. He loves you.

No, don't send me a picture. I do not want to see a child dressed as.

The critch. He loves you so much. That's too much. I'm changing the tradition and we're all dressing up as a Grinch, and I'm going to send you pictures so that your heart can explode with love.

Feel. Down, down, boy. Down. Down, Mark. Down. Whip. Whip. Whip. Whip. Nois.

Whip. Nois.

It.

Hurts. Yes, feel.

Why did you make it hurt, Megan Taylor? I thought you were a kind person.

Love is powerful, and it can also be painful, but in the best ways. What am I, a poet?

No, you're a songwriter. Yeah. Love is overrated.

We should do a song together. Me and you are going to dress up, and we're going to do a Christmas song.

In your dreams. Final question. Since your husband was in the to me, Spy Kids, what is more of a classic? How the Grinch stole Christmas or Spy Kids?

Oh, that's really difficult. Man. Since I knew you longer and I've loved you longer, don't tell my husband, but I pick you.

Oh, my gosh. Don't tell my.

Husband, but I beg the Grinch.

Oh, that's.

So sweet. You're welcome. Now will you do.

A song with me? Okay, now we can do it. You know what? I'll have my guys get in.

Touch with you, okay? Yeah, have your people reach out to my people. Do you.

Think I could set up a low cost studio at my house?

Yeah, now that you have this podcast, you probably should.

I know. I feel like I'm about to blow up, honey.

You're about to be so famous. What are you going to do?

I'm not even going to be able to walk down the street without a bunch of people going, Seize him, which is my life already.

We're like, Let's get a selfie.

Let's get a selfie. Why do you need to prove that you bothered this person on the chain? Well, Magandraider, thank you so much for appearing on Tuth, Gritch, and Hough talk show. That's it.

That's it? Oh, my God. I could talk to you all day. I've really been a fan for so long, and I can't wait I finally get to talk to you. I bought the toy where you were riding along. Well, my parents got it for me, where you were in the little car that was too small for you, and that was my remote control car. So I've loved you my whole life.

Just a quick note about the merchandising. I haven't seen a dime from that.

Oh, no.

I got to talk to somebody about-I'm not talking to somebody. -i'm not talking to somebody. Thanks, Megan.

And Megan, we are so excited to hear your special cover of Dingle Bells on Amazon Music. All you have to do is say Alexa, play Mary Mix, and DJ mode in the Amazon Music app or on Alexa.

Enabled devices. Thank you. I love you.

Have a great day. You, too.

Megan Traynor, everybody. All about dad days. Dad days, not true. Man, she has so many hit songs. What's the word for when you're the opposite of a one-hit wonder? Just a person with a successful career, I guess. I worry sometimes that people think I'm a one-hit wonder. I stole Christmas, and that was my one thing. I could steal a lot of them, man. I could steal Groundhog Day. I'm usually be pretty free in February. Cindy, you start the credits. I'm going to check flights to Punks at Pony. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot hole. And they really make them that... They make them that long. Go off, Kings. How about some organ? Yeah, that's nice. Okay, wrap it up. Follow Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show on the Wundery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to all episodes early and ad-free by joining Wundery Plus in the Wundery app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wundery. Com/survey.

Tiz the Grinch, the talk show is a production of Wundery and Dr. Suez enterprises, hosted by James Austin Johnson as The Grinch. With Anjali Kinnippanani as Cindy Luhu, that's me, and Anthony as the advertiser. With additional voice acting from Anthony Atamanik. This episode was written by Dan Cronin, sound design by Jamie Cooper, with additional sound design by Kelly Cromerick, music supervision by Scott Vulaski for Frisian Sync. Our senior producer is Jennifer Klein Walker. Iyana White is our associate producer. Our managing producer is Sarah Mathis, and our senior managing producer is Callum Plus. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer. Audio assistants by Andrew Law and Adrian Tapia. Executive producer by Susan Brandt at Dr. Suez enterprises. Executive producers are Lauren D, Dave Easton, Andrew Goldstein, and Marcia Louis for WNDY.

Wndy. I Love My Kid But is a new parenting podcast from WNDYRY that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by comedians Megan, Kaylee, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Bronola, as our resident, NotSoExperts, each week they share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, Yes, I have absolutely been there. I'm about to play a clip from I Love My Kid But. Follow I love my kid, but on The Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You guys have three wonderfully traveling children. Welcome to The Circus. My family of four gets on the plane. The last time we were on, Gus screamed for an hour straight. Then the only thing that would get him to stop screaming was if we let him put the seatbelt in his mouth. He's like, What? And just lick all over it and use it as a pacifier. I started pulling it away. He'd start screaming. I was like, I guess this is how we're traveling. Oliver's just on our iPad, and Guss is just with the seatbelt fully in his mouth like a pacifier. I'm like, And he was quiet after that.

And he's mysteriously immune to.

All diseases. He is.

He never gets sick.

He has a tiny ear on the top of his head that started growing, but he's hears perfectly.

Listen to I Love My Kid, but early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Hi there.

I'm Guy Ross.

And I'm Mindy Thomas.

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