Welcome back to viewers, go run it. Why, I just sent me a bunch of pitches for the podcast pictures, pitches, ideas.
Oh, for the podcast, OK, it's possible for a son to be in love with his dad and like a more than normal way, was trying to get here tonight.
And he literally is just following me into my bedroom and all the way up, but not saying anything. And I'm like, what, what? What do you need? It's like, I don't know. I just want to be close to you.
I was like, oh, he's 18 years.
Yeah. Is like. So have you forgotten your affect, your. Have you ever gotten hit by your parents your whole time? Yeah, it's weird how people don't hit their kids anymore, isn't it?
I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I don't it. No, I didn't get hit. I think in America, people don't hit anybody.
Oh, I got hit a lot. I think I've been spanked when I was younger a couple of times. Oh yeah.
I don't my parents ever hit me in the fucking face then like sucker punch me. I can be a bitch. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Like child hitting.
Oh I know. Like when I got spanked. Right, right, right. I guess that's what I mean.
I don't mean like, you know, my dad didn't come punched me in the stomach. I it's like, yo man was the dishwasher empty.
Just a kick to my face was never like that. No.
But it was like you know like like shit that scares you as a kid. Yeah. But like it's nothing when you're like look at it as an adult, right. Yeah. I like stuff like that.
Like well like how would you get hit by my mom or my dad would lay me down, take my fucking pants off. Whoa. What's a story with the belt.
Oh they just take your pants off.
What did you do to deserve that. Oh me.
So cold when I was eight. Um, well, I mean like most of the time it was just like me running away and like not responding. Well.
Jay, have you ever run away now. Oh really. I would never fuck away man. What do you mean on my own. Well, yeah, but you don't know that as a kid I ran away as a kid once. I knew that as a kid. But I was back before midnight. I think, you know what? It's really funny. When you're married and you run away, then it's really funny.
I don't I've never done that. Thank you.
Well, like, if you have like you're married and then you have a fight and then you're like, I'm out of here.
And then like, so now you're gone for a couple hours and you're like, yeah, I have nowhere to go.
I get that more though, because then you can get like a hotel and you can just like be alone by yourself.
But if you get the hotel now, that's a line in the sand that's you don't want to just you got a hotel like where were you?
You know, you got a coke. Come back. You have to come back when I come back. Yeah. Wow. Three rules, 100 percent.
Also thinking about us, do you remember like the first like serious money you got online. Of course. What happened?
I got paid 750 dollars to go to Mike Tyson's mansion in Vegas and I was ecstatic.
That is exactly how the first five bills were. I couldn't believe it. The guy had to literally explain it to me for like an hour. Like, they explained it to me, not for now, but several phone calls. I was like, OK, so you're paying me to to make a vine there?
And they're like, Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be great. I was like, OK with Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson wasn't there. But when we got there, everyone was dressed as the hangover and there was like a fake Zach Galifianakis. And and Mr. Belding was there from my state by the bell, the real Mr. Belding.
So what's the what was the point what was the point of the who are you promoting in the vine? I don't remember, but. And not to drop names, but like every Vyner was there, like all of our own, making a joke, but like like Marcus Johns is there, Amanda is there and he was there. It was really we had to drop one scene and he threw there. I think they were there. And I was like, wow.
And then I had a big fight with my ex-wife about it. I'm I'm.
Oh, yeah. You told me this. This is when she was like, what are you doing?
Yeah, because we had to go see her at your dad's birthday in New York. We had to go to a party and I was like, I stood my ground. I'm going. I can't.
On duty calls in Vegas and Mike Tyson's mansion. I remember the first brandy I got. Yeah, well, first I got paid. I think it's like fifty dollars for a wine. That was fucking insane to me at the A. I don't know who it was for. But then there was one thing. There was this guy hit me up and he's like, I need you to revive three of my vines and I'm going to pay you six hundred dollars.
Yeah. And that was fucking mind blowing.
I was like, what? My friends didn't believe it. I didn't believe this is like 600 hours. Like my biggest brandy at the time was like a hundred bucks. Wow.
So like this was fucking huge so much. This was right before I moved to L.A. So this is going to be my ticket out. Like there's no fucking way. Well, first I remember like negotiations and I was like and he's like he's like, hey man, can you run through my veins? I can pay you. And he's like, how much? He's like, how much you charge. And I was just like, Oh man, I don't know my rates right now.
Like I was like trying to sound like I've done this before. Yeah. And then he goes, OK, I don't have much is sixteen hundred OK. And I was like, what the fuck. And I was like, I was like no, no.
First he said twelve hundred. Yeah. And then was like I don't know man can we meet somewhere around like 2000. And he's like OK let's do six hundred good on you and negotiator. And I was like, I was like this is bullshit. There's no way it's going to happen. And he's right after Vietnam he's like do you have a demo? And I was like, no, what's that? And I download Venmo and ten minutes later, six hundred dollars added to my Venmo.
And that is that's fucking crazy. And you just spend it or save it. Saved it. Yeah.
I mean I worked at a retirement home where I made like I made sixteen hundred dollars for working there for a couple of months. I don't know what I did but it's like that was crazy to me.
Your parents say my I don't know, I don't know. My parents, my parents were really, really confused about everything up until about three months ago.
My manager Jack fucking he like every time we do a brand deal, he's like, let's just get the money up front.
I fucking never understand that, dude. I never understand that. It's like we get paid early. Yeah, but it's so fucking stupid. This is like this is the thing with like with like rock stars too. And like people that signed the record labels, it'll say like post Villone signs.
One hundred million dollar record label deal. Right. But that's like that's not up front. Like that's just money that they're going to give him up front, but then he's going to recoup like like I never understood that. Right. That's little just getting a loan from the bank. Like, why would you do that? And I always tell my manager I was like, do not give me any fucking money up front. Even if you get the money, you hold it for a couple of months because when you get the money right away, then it just feels like you're doing work for free.
It's so much better to get the money like later down when you forgot that you even borrowed money.
I mean, I come from like a completely different ilk comes from a place where you need the money up front just to prove that I was going to say yeah, yeah, yeah.
But to his point, yeah, I agree. Like to be creatively I guess like I said, it's feel like indebted to this person money. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't, I don't like that that's I never understood that about fucking musicians like, like no one's ever offered to pay me up front. So really it's not a problem.
It's always happy hour. The best, the best show is I'll tell you guys this. This is like crazy. So, so once I got like once I got like a Brandos for, like a good amount of money, like 100000 dollars. And there was this program that was on this computer and the program, the program just malfunctioned completely and it didn't work and they didn't want me to promote it. So when that happens, you don't have to promote anything and they have to pay you half the money you ever.
Have you ever get one of those? I have gotten one of those. Those are fucking crazy. You don't do anything. Those are not. They just had to pay you half the money. It's like when the koczela canceled and Coachella still has to pay like half the artist. Yeah, or like half. It's fucking insane. You don't do a thing. You just got a call and they go, hey man, sorry about this, but we're cancelling the campaign, but we're still going to have a fifty thousand dollar sound like I'm like, oh, I'm almost better but I don't have to do anything.
Yeah, like what am I supposed to say. And that that happened with you.
Yeah, well with me there was a campaign in and it got canceled because of quarantine. Oh yeah. And and they paid me not half but like forty percent and I was like great.
Oh that actually job happened to me when it got canceled to work and I was like great, I don't have to do do this and yeah. Still make some money.
I got a job happened to me or I, I, I was doing it with my hometown friends so I paid them a little bit, you know, just to give them some money. And I was like, yeah, sorry. The video not going up anymore. The Brandell was canceled and they're like, oh dude, I'm sorry, you want the money back. And I was like, No, no, I'm good. Don't worry, because they gave me half the money and I didn't want to tell my hometown friends.
But it is really to Dave not giving a shit about money.
The first time I visited Dave at his apartment. I remember going to his bedside and there was like eight different checks, like, oh, eight different uncashed checks.
I was like, what the fuck are these? Literally out of Cadillac?
Chevy Chase, his character in Caddyshack in 12 grand, 30 grand, five grand. I'm like, bro, what the fuck are you?
Oh, hey, cashing checks to this day. I don't know how much money.
I remember how you used to live in that apartment. I was astonished. Yeah, I'm just worried about you. Just everything. Everything, all the help I can get. And you know what the fucking craziest part is? People think I change, like, when it comes to shit like that. But I fucking don't. I am so dirty.
But you have people helping you. Exactly. But that's but that's the thing.
But like you wouldn't be able to go back to that now. Yes, I would. Oh you wouldn't. Yeah, it would be fine. Yeah.
So literally who he is, it's just it's just fucking shirts and clothes on the ground.
Not really, no. You had I was surprised you had like piss on the ground talking piss on your carpet.
You come off as clean to me. I do. Yeah. But you were a slob. Such a slob. That's what people saw my room. They just couldn't believe it. They were so good to you couldn't even walk in there.
You know, Ilias, the dumbest fucking question in the car, I say, oh my God, you should have seen this shit. We're driving back. I was tired. We're driving back from the truck driving. He's fucking criticizing me. We're driving back from Utah. He's like, OK, Dave, Dave, good question for you. Good. You turn the music down. Everything is like, would you rather drive any car you want anywhere, like anywhere you have to go.
You could pick any car you want, you could take it or fly economy.
Oh, oh, oh. It's like what the fuck. Ali has been living in L.A. for six weeks and he's asking me fucking questions like this. It's like the tick tock. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in L.A. And I was like, OK, well, let's say let's say you're let's say you need I was generous.
I was like, let's see. You need to travel somewhere in the States. Yeah. I was like, let's say you need to go to New York. Yeah. What are you going to do if I can take the Bentley or Ferrari Spirit, pack the Ferrari and drive.
First off, I meant the states. OK, I, I mean, it doesn't matter how far you got to go.
New York is really thirty one hours away.
Yeah. I mean I hear thing fucking going to the airport. This is like where, where the thought comes from going to the airport, having to take your fucking shoes off and your belt and having to get scanned and wait for the fucking plane.
I get it. OK, I you know, you can't tell you anything.
You're going to take your shoes off when you're in the car because you have to fucking sleep at a motel because there's no way you can drive fucking forty hours across the U.S. They're going to have to sleep somewhere. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of smart people.
That's really dumb questions. Yes, I'd be careful with that phrase. Thank you. I was fucking talking. It's a dumb question asked by a dumb idiot. Yeah, I don't know. That was bad question.
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How much money did honey save you last last time when I had to buy Wyatt a new laptop? Yeah, I saved 110 dollars.
What did you use that one hundred ten dollars for? I bought crack, sir.
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Cut that out. Once again guys, on the news podcast we have managed to talk about jerking off. Dude, what the fuck. Fire that the confetti cannons. I'm really trying not to. Jay, I have a good one.
I mean, it's about safety. Pivot this conversation rather.
Yeah. Have sex with your mother, OK. Or David. Oh, Jesus.
That's fucking tough because you are both.
Huh. And well, that is really tough. You're either size the sex as David got to be.
Oh, wait, that's easy. If you ask me, I'd go Jason. One hundred percent has this then my mom now then my mom.
Oh I was going to say wait, wait. I already had sex with your mom. I would. One hundred percent. Well back up. What happened in Hawaii. No, I would I you know, I walked in on them, you know, I.
In Hawaii to have sex, yeah, no, you didn't. I was like, is it would it be you were kidding. No, Dad. No, I'm kidding.
Yeah, I love that ass sometimes. Sometimes I hate it, though.
Yeah. OK, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Well, Jane, it's so fucking. What's the sex with David? Him fucking me or my fucking head. A little bit of both bro.
Yeah you would fuck fuck you. You got to wine and dine me dude. Let me get in on something you fucking fucking a little bit.
I really wish I could come to a definitive answer, but it's both. Ah so you got it right now. Are you fucking kidding me.
I wish you had. I wish you had a fucking paintball gun to my head right now and you were like, Jay, answer honestly. I fucking shoot you with this chick.
I'd fuck you 30 times before I even thought about hooking up with my mom. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you're right. You're right. I wasn't thinking straight. I also take back me saying 30 times.
And if there is ever a situation where the things we say on here have to come true or not, I think it would be so.
I would be so like. As you so disgusted the entire time, it would it would be like it would be like picking up vomit, it would be like David and I were picking up vomit and an actual shape.
But, you know, we make eye contact and just start cracking up.
I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't even be able to laugh.
And you know how much I like to laugh, but I wouldn't be able to I'd be so utterly shocking to my career.
Well, luckily, this just wouldn't be able to talk to you. That's OK. But it's just a come down to life. And you know what? I think I'd have to go. Hey, dude, it's show. It was just a question. We won't ask it again. Let's take it easy.
We'll do that to Jay ever again. You really freaked out. I know more.
Would you rather questions have you guys ever thought about your last name? Like, have you ever said it out loud to yourself? I think about my first name a lot.
Oh, my God. Sometimes I think about my name. I just said my last name for the first time and say it again today.
Fedorovich I can't go where I used to have a hard time pronouncing my last name. Do you remember that? No. Oh my God. David Bobrick. It still sounds weird. It comes out of my mouth, doesn't it? Not really. David Bobrick. David Bobrick. When people ask me like they're like David what I go Dobek and I feel like I'm saying it wrong. I want to say it again.
How did you pronounce it as a child. No, no.
I always get it right, but I always like stumble on the break. It's always tough for me. We sell like idiots. No, no. I mean, it's also you do this for the first time and they chose this episode. They are these guys, this guy, honey, this Gaza City can't pronounce his own name drive. I mean, he tried for a minute. He just tried. The other one doesn't understand that he can't drive to New York in two hours.
Yeah, that is fucked.
I loved high school. I cannot tell you how amazing it was. I cannot tell you every second of it was fucking incredible. Everything.
High school. Why why does a person hate high school so much?
Why? Why? Because I went to school with people that I didn't like. Isn't that the best though?
I know I did. I love that. I love like people that suck.
What are you talking about? You went to school with fucking all your best friend. Yeah. Yeah I know, I know. But they're still friends of the mom. But it must have been great.
There was one time Illia got moved. Illia lived on the choice, like in the choice zone where he was either going to go to Libertyville or Fernholz or two towns freshman year. It was freshman year. And Libertyville was like, you have to come to our school because you're closer to our school or whatever. So a bunch of like his friends, like 15 of them got together to protest and they went to our high school and they went to like our dean.
And we want Illia back in our school. And I went as a tagalong.
I didn't know Alio very well. Do you even know I was there? Yeah. Yeah. You bike there? Yeah, I bike there. And I was there to, like, protest. And I felt so weird because like like I didn't know earlier that well, but I was there, like, on his behalf, like I was like, yeah, let's give him back. But I didn't even hang out with him.
So they kicked you out of Vernon Hills. Yeah. For for a year. They didn't kick him out, but his parents moved. Oh. So so he had to go to a different school.
I think I think the best part of our high school is our teachers are cool as fuck, like every teacher had like something cool about them and they were just like friends with us, like they're our age.
Like none of them were like we had a lot of young none of them were like better than us. They were all like they were all like, you want to go back to one day in high school, what would you choose?
Just, you know, of course, a fucking fun man. I wish you knew what to do. Have you ever done car for me?
OK, so I wish you I wish I wish you could talk about this. Well, we have a podcast.
You know, color was great. Every year the seniors are tied. I sophomore's our green freshman are red and juniors are yellow. And every year you come and you dress as your color for one day and it's whoever has like the most spirit wins and like and like this is why I like you laugh at me for being like a cheerleader in school. Right. But this, like all the spirit shit in our school was and other schools, it's lame as fuck, but it was the biggest thing at all.
It was respected, like so respected like which beer we comes along.
And if you're not wearing black on the day to be wearing black, you're fucking cunt. And everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing?
Like everything like like like a tat. Yeah. Bullied that day. Yeah.
You'll be like, are you fucking like people. Yeah. You'd be like dude you have a purpose today and that's a fucking honor your class and respect your classmates. You go put something down, you got to put something back on. And like every year or so like junior year I think it was my favorite color was is when we were yellow.
And it's like, so what happens is like the freshmen, they're like nervous. Right. So they were right.
But they're still kind of the way our school work deserves four floors. Right. And like the top floor was juniors, seniors, and every floor was a different grade. So like so like the bottom floor was the freshman one year. And when they come to colors, they're like pretty nervous, right? Like they're like they were they all wear red, but they don't really get it right.
Sophomore. Wars are like are like really into it, like really into because they saw from the year before, the other grades are into it and juniors and seniors are fucking crazy, like that's the competition most of the time is between the juniors in the seniors. And like what you do is like, OK, so we all were yellow and and then we all marched around the school before school started.
We were like walking through the freshman hallways, like, like 100 of us, like our entire our entire grade would marched through this freshman hallway and we were like chanting shit like, what was this shit?
We were chanting? I don't know.
It was like, oh, like the White Stripes. Yeah, like shit like that. As we're marching through the hallways and we feel so cool and like you'd walk by a freshman and you'd like, look at them, you'd be like, fuck you.
It was so great. And then how would you decide a winner? Then there was the assembly and at the assembly we'd all be sitting and like they'd make us do like the school chant and whoever did it the loudest would win and like and and then and then they would decide based on like, oh, teachers would also tally all the students in every class and who wore the colors.
So that's why I was so important. If you didn't wear cars. Yeah. So it's a mix between that and. Yeah. And one year is like a serious upset, like a series that I think was my senior year. It was a huge upset. The freshman won. Oh yeah.
The freshman one was fucking insane. Jay how they just came out that came out of the gates. I think they had I think the freshmen at the time had a lot of senior relatives. So the freshmen that were like in the popular groups like spread to all the other freshmen, they were like, listen, my brother's been in this school for three years. The color was a big fucking thing. We got to come in. We got to show out.
And I think the freshmen, like, pulled all the other freshmen to come ready and they fucking brought it. And they were marching through the hallway.
They marched through the hallways. Yeah, bro. They came through our hallway where the seniors were. And, you know, you don't know what that's like. And it's like and like when the freshmen are marching through, you obviously don't fight them. You kind of just look at another senior and you go, unbelievable.
You go like, I can't believe the balls on these kids.
It was crazy.
That's your area, too. You let them come in like that. Dude, we had no choice. Sometimes we block them off at the stairs, but then they would come from the other hallways. Do you ever do you ever throw them in a at a freshman?
Oh, yes, of course. We throw pennies at the front.
I remember one time I checked if I come in here freshman, I felt so bad. So that's supposed to cover their faces right now at his face. Yeah. Like I like when we were freshmen we would get pennies thrown at us. There's just like a thing. It's like I mean it was fucking high school, right. You have to there was a food chain and like you had to respect it. You were you were nothing. You were you're you're supposed to know where their legs.
Well, I would get thrown around like my head, but like the common courtesy is don't throw them at people's heads.
But yeah, it was guys just a bunch of fatties, remember. No faces. Yeah.
But that's how I loved fucking high school. It was so good that day was not a school day. Yeah. That day was a fucking war. Oh yeah. I was at war.
It was the war in Iraq. People who get into fights and the day before I'd go to like Target I'd buy tape and I would duct tape, I duct tape my shoes. Everything was yellow and people would duct tape the entire bodies. I brought a yellow vacuum to school, so just a big yellow vacuum cleaner. And I brought it around with me like it's fucking all out brawl. And it's like, you know, it's no student left behind.
So we started hanging out junior year. I remember that because of the yo vacuum. Yeah. Yeah, I started my junior year. Yeah, yeah. Second home. Why not start cooking more with fresh fresh offers. So many recipes to choose from each week to help you break out of your recipe. Rut there's something for everyone, including low calorie vegetarian and family friendly recipes every week. Hello Fresh offers fresh, high quality ingredients every week for a super flavorful experience.
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Did you ever play Thrill Ville Notes. Did you ever play Farmville. Oh it's kind of the same thing.
Like you played through a village, but Farmville never played Farmville. No, it's kind of the same thing as what I'm talking about. Like the same like tycoon game. I don't play simulations, I play Pigpen, and if any girl I was a pig Panesar marry on the spot, no, I've never met a single human that knows what pig penis I used to play that already here called my DM's.
David, I play Big Bird. Yeah.
LDM Jason, if you play the game pigpen. Seriously. No, seriously. And Jason will show me and you don't say that and that's all my DMS are ready.
And I want you to also send a voice message of your experience playing Pigpen. I'm glad I bring some value. Oh, real life, bro, you know, go, but you know what's really weird wants this like it's like, oh, you know, like, you know, like there's moments where you, like, really embarrassed in front of your family. This was one of them. I became YouTube. Yeah. No, I was playing a game.
It was like an online game where you can, like, online chat. Right. And like, I didn't have many contacts with girls. So this is like the one time like I was like, I'm going to chat to some girls is like a game where you were like like I'm an astronaut and you're on the moon, you're bouncing around and like Mars rovers and you can talk to random astronauts that were around you. And there is an astronaut. I was like 14 and the astronaut was like, how old are you?
And I was like 18. Like, I lied about my age. And she goes, Oh, I'm 14. And I was 14.
And I turned to my dad and I got this girl that she was 14 and I was 14.
And I should have said I was 14, but I said I was 18.
And my dad comes over, he goes, What the fuck are you doing here? I got so embarrassed. I got so embarrassed. I was like, oh, my God, what the fuck am I doing? I'm on the chatroom on this video game trying to fucking find a girlfriend. So. So, yeah, that was like a moment like that, like, really scarred me.
I think that's really scary to navigate. Yeah. I mean, I'm just a kid. Yeah. That's like a it's a really scary moment when your dad catches you doing something weird like that. And I hated that.
I was she was just like, that's OK, son. Just tell her you're 14. I was. She said that.
Why are you lying about your age so clearly you have no hair on your balls.
I want to talk about something real quick. I mean this in the nicest way possible, bro. Oh, no.
Be careful about what's about to come out of your mouth. I'll tell you what's about to come out of my mouth. You're fucking idiot. OK? I've never seen anybody so bad a call of duty in my life. Yeah, bro, honestly, I'm playing with you, bro. And I have never seen such stupidity in my life.
The decisions you make during the game are atrocious, are embarrassing. And honestly, honestly, I regret ever meeting you in high school sometimes when when I'm playing with you, Jojo, you can attest to this, Joe.
You play with us. It's embarrassing.
Give me one fucking example of that. I embarrass you with the crowd yesterday, a game star yesterday. You grab the crown instead of going for scavenger, you fucking idiot. That makes no sense. I had a helicopter. I got a fucking float in the air. We've got to had for two hundred dollars. No, not instead of your fucking pussy ass bullshit. It's like a thousand. No, it's not. No it's not three thousand. This fucker grabs it right away and now we're now he's flying in the air so he's not even helping us on the fucking ground where there's two of us now.
We're outnumbered. He's in the air flying around. So we're definitely going to die. And we're only gonna make three thousand. If there's no common sense on this fucking place. It doesn't make sense. It blows my mind so much, bro. And I just fucking yell at him. He's so angry.
Looks like a kid that just like, got grounded because it's just me. Can I tell you something, please? Can I fucking say something you're not fun to play with. You know what. I guess you're a fucking dictator. I'm Joe fucking help me out when you crash a helicopter. What did you feel like? I'm sitting here. Yeah, yeah. That's how it is every fucking day. You are right. And you are a bit of a darling.
No time just yelling. Oh, stop, stop. When Joe crashed that helicopter, that was the stupidest nothing game. That was the worst. Fuck you. It's a game. It's not a game. It's a competition. You want to be fucking no one's real life to me, man. It took him like ten seconds to realize that it was my fault. The helicopter blew up and it was like peaceful. I was like, oh, this is weird.
And as soon as I, like, show you crash that my world was. Oh, so this is like this is like four weeks ago, just like we had ever. So we had everything. Like we had money, we had all the perks, we had everything we were about to fly to like a high building and just and just sit on the high building. And Joe Joe got greedy. He's like, let me go get this one thing.
We each had ten thousand dollars. We didn't have any more money. And he got greedy. So he landed the helicopter on the ground to go grab something off the ground. And then on his way back up, he hit a light pole and the entire field killed all four of us until the four of us. And I thought I didn't know it was Joe driving.
And then, like, you know, like ten seconds passed by and I got Joe. That was you.
Yeah. And I got so fucking angry and Joe got so quiet. I mean, Joe didn't talk to rest of the game like that. Then we played for like another hour. I feel like three other games after that. Joe was like keeping this conversation to a minimum and then we got off, we got off. And then two hours later it's like 3:00 a.m. I text Joe, Yo, I can't believe what you did. I texted him like, I can't believe you blew a helicopter up.
We had fucking everything. This is three games.
They are still thinking about it because it's such such a stupid thing to get shot down and ran into a lightpost. Yeah. Ran it's a light Plainsboro. It's so embarrassing.
What if it was real war? Who would do better? Illia.
Yes, you'd be on his back with his strategy. So I don't know if it's fucking life and death is much different.
If you want me in life and death, you want me to think life and death today. I will fucking think like you say this all the time.
You said, you know what? Today I'm going to try. All right. You go. You go. Right now I'm turning up right now. I'm trying. That's what you got to fucking do, bro.
When we're in the game, I fly the helicopters. No, I fly the helicopter. You see. You think I saw. You think I suck, OK, but I've crashed one fucking time and brought that example of every time.
Speaking of driving, the other day I had to rent a Tesla because we were out of town and I had to do it like a brand. Like inside a Tesla. Yeah. And so I got one. I got one from this is crazy. First of all, we were in Utah and I needed to buy, like, borrow a Tesla because I needed to look like my own Tesla. And we went to the dealership and I was like, can I touch drive your Model X?
And they're like the ladies like, yeah, you need another one. We saw the one that you basically crashed. And I was like I was like, yeah, I want to touch. I mean, she's like, OK. And she's like, can I see your license? And I just had a picture of it. I showed her the picture. OK, be back in twenty minutes.
That's it. She gave me the keys. No one came with me. Isn't that fucking crazy. Oh that's interesting. That's how you test drive Tesla's. No one comes with you. That's she's that's probably I might have been.
It sounds like a Tesla thing. It's a really cool so. So I left it, I took it and I did the thing in a parking lot and Ilya pulls up with his car in the parking lot and he dude, he comes a foot away like he's like my car's parked and he's like coming around my car and he almost hits my car. He's driving like a big truck. Yeah. And he almost hits my car, like, sideswipes it because he thinks that once the front is around the car, the back end will follow.
Like he's like the game snake like he thinks that's he thinks that's how it works. And I go, I go, you're a fucking moron. That's not how cars work. You almost hit me and he goes, fuck you. That's not how it works. I didn't almost hit you and I'm going to fuck you back. And he goes, Let's go try it right now. Let's go try it right now. And if you're right, I will admit that I'm wrong.
And guess what? We tried it. He got out of the car and he saw that I was about to hit the car. And he goes, OK, fuck you. I was wrong. I was wrong.
Do such a shit driver.
She drives a shit player. No common sense in this. Do what you like about this guy. He's got a lot of heart, but he's was around. And that's not true. That's not true at all, bro. First off, you fucking thought that that van, that big ass man originally, like whenever you thought this was also like capable of doing that.
No. Yeah, you did. I don't argue with you. The. I love it. OK, here's the thing. Yeah, I'm not driving with him anymore and I'm not playing cards with you anymore.
Oh, you can suck my dick.
That's a little bit like what you're not going to play call duty with him anymore. What's he going to do now? I'll play with him.
Thank you, Jesus. I'll just mute him. Jay, what are you doing in your free time?
My kids know the correct answer is playing best means for those kids. And if you're not playing the best means that you should be. It's hours of fun you can enjoy. Any time is the best part of my best friends is it? Updates the game monthly with new levels and events so never gets old and it doesn't require notes to play. So you could literally play it anywhere. You're on a road trip.
No problem. I had on that part. I ad libbed that part where I went and there's no problem.
It wasn't in the script. You went off script. It went off. Oh shit.
I was not. Oh my God. There are plenty of fun and cute characters to collect, which makes the game even more exciting. Plus, there are always monthly team challenges in the game, which keeps best fans feel like a new game. Every time you play off script again, blasphemes has thousands of levels already.
Holy shit. Thousands of levels. That was off script came with new levels of offensive characters added every month.
It's hours of fun and right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over 100 million downloads and tons of five star reviews. Breastfeeds is a must play best free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the best fiends, bro.
Taylor made me this tee about two hours ago. When you put in this fucking thermocouple, it's still scolding hot. Oh yeah. Cups are insane. Yeah, that's how they make them. How do they do it. It's like it's heating it up like it's like, it's like a microwave in here. How is it getting hotter. Yeah.
That's a that's a big thing for people too. If you drink coffee. I love hot coffee.
Hey hot coffee. I like ice better. I would. I'll order my Starbucks an hour before it's made.
Right so. Oh yeah. Yeah I'll order it out or an hour ahead of time and then I'll pick it up and it's, it's lukewarm. Know I'll drink all of it like in one sitting. Oh wow. Yeah.
Like it looks the best, that's the best type. Like when milk is like just warm. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I hate about it. Like. Being friends with me, yeah, and I hate that ever since I moved here, I found out that milk sucks for you. I hate that. I hate that.
What about, like most alternatives? You like milk alternatives? Not like what? Like oatmeal, cornmeal, coconut milk.
I'm scared of trying because I'm allergic to both of those almonds and coconut. So I just remember day I shot almond milk once and it's cool. So know how they fucking milk an almond. Are there bigger almonds with titties somewhere? How do they milk an almond? Thank you. See, that's what I'm fucking saying and kind of makes no sense. It makes you think that an almond. Jack, I have a question about news anchors, this is my this is my radio voice.
He's still in college, by the way, when I had when I to read the news, you you have a radio show. Yeah. In college. What was it called?
And I was so bad, I tried to sound like people on the radio that would be like officers for the Fort Myers Police Department said they don't have a question.
Do people on like when they do? News announcer sound like news announcers on purpose? Like what does that like? What?
I've always wondered that and I used to work in news. It's just like it's just like a tone of authority that you have to develop and a delivery style. Welcome back.
Tonight on ABC, seven women and two children are in a car accident report. Why does everyone sound like that?
Because if you just did it like you, no one would understand the urgency. Hey, guys, let me try.
Yeah. Hey, guys. Today back on seven woman in a car or a woman and two children in a car accident. OK, right there.
I'd be like, oh, my God, this guy has a brain injury.
I guess you're right. But I wonder if, like like when they audition to become the news anchors or whatever, however it works.
I know how it works. You make tapes. It's just it's just. Oh, you actually make tape. You make a tape. Yes. Like like because I wanted to do this when I was in college and then I just ditched it. But you go to like like Syracuse University is a really big university. Yes. And so you go there and you get in the program and then you start making tapes in your life and you have to be pretty right.
Whether you're a guy or you have to be telegenic. Yeah, you have to be pretty, but you have to at least be like, yeah, like fun to look not fun to look at like like easy to look at.
Yeah. Big heads are good. Really. Yeah. That was a band that was just to tell me in my broadcast journalism class the guy would joke if you like, you got a big head you're going to do it, you'll be able to work I think.
Yeah. And you probably look good when you're younger too. So you probably really had a chance. I mean, I wanted to and then I just ditched it because I know I did acid.
I told you the story. Right? You know why?
I was like I was working I was working at a news station and I was like, I'm going to be a reporter. Maybe a sports reporter. Yeah. Sports. You know me, I don't like sports now at all.
And then I went and did acid and then like maybe like a couple of weeks later I picked up the sports page and I was like, this is meaningless to me.
What do you mean? You ask it? And then you found out I did acid.
I did acid at a concert to see Bob Dylan. I went to a Bob Dylan concert and I did acid.
Yeah, but how did that change your opinion on sports news, I imagine. What do you love?
OK, tennis now blogging called Judy, which what do you want me to teach college egoistical.
Okay, love calda. Now imagine you go out and you do acid tonight. Yeah. And then tomorrow you come back and you're not on acid anymore and you're like and you pick up the paddle and you're like yo the paddle. What do you call it.
The control controller. What's the difference. Are you fucking kidding me. Paddle a paddle. This isn't ping pong.
Jay used to call it paddles. Really.
Whatever you pick up the controller. What a bunch of nerds I'm dealing with. You pick up the controller and you go ill.
This is meaningless to me. This means nothing. And then you no longer like Call of Duty.
And I'm pretty sure it's scary, though. That sounds like you probably thought a lot of other things in your life are meaningless to, uh.
No, I don't think so. OK, still valued love, yeah, but you did come you came back from acid and what did you gain other than lose? Like you lost interest in something. Did you gain interest? And I got really into comedy.
That was all I cared about. I really like your passion. My passion. Yeah. Make making people laugh or trying to be funny or get a job or stuff like that. Yeah. I mean, I think.
Did you ever have any other experiences with hard drugs that, like, changed your life? I did basalts once.
No fucking way I ever did. Yeah, that's crazy. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. It's been a views podcast. Thank you to Jason, my lovely co-host. And we'll see you guys later. This has been on this podcast.
I'm sure I was.