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Congratulations. You're ready to be entertained. Rolling your music.
You know what's crazy about chicken? It's the same name that they have for the animal as the food so bizarre, like, oh, that's a chicken. Like when you eat cow, you don't go. Can I do a cow? Like, that's not that crazy to think about.
Like, that's so bizarre. Like it's beef, right? Or like pig. It's pork because like, I will have one pig and then my daughter would have some cow and then I would I'll just take chicken.
Well that's it's weird how. I mean. Yeah, but all the fish are named after their names. Tuna, swordfish, all the swordfish. Yeah. But those are like those salmon. Those are really close to like chickens.
Yeah. That's the same thing. Isn't that fucking crazy. Never think of that huh. Please don't point your finger to do for me two inches from my face. Did you ever think of that before. No, I never have Dave Theotokos my finger away. That's why I'm.
That's what I'm saying. Did you stick with me long enough and you'll see the world in a totally different way.
I love it, man. I remember the day we were on this podcast and you go, Yo man, have you ever thought about night?
I was like, what if I say that? Yeah, like night. It's crazy is bizarre. Like we all agree that it's going to be night now and we all agree that that's the time to rest.
Yeah. Like we've all like the humans are humans have gone. Hmm. I have a hard time seeing at night. Let's just take that time to like just be by ourselves for a little bit like recharge.
Recharge like you think, like you think like if I was first came to this planet I didn't know about nine day I'd be like, it's the daytime. This this is like a this feels like a safe time for me to rest. Yeah. That's where I'd be.
I'd be like it, but. But it's actually backwards. Yeah. That's the crazy part is it's not it's like like if I got here and I was a caveman, I'd be like I'm going to rest during the daytime, not during night because of. No I can't see during the night so I can't see you're a cave man from another planet.
And so I'm just saying, like at night I'd be like, OK, I'm on high alert at night. And then during the day, obviously something happened that just opened my eyes and I'll see.
But why would you waste all that good time seeing well, see it then.
There are other humans who said that and then they were like, let's sleep at night. Yeah. This is why this podcast is so amazing, because it gets you thinking. Yeah.
I guess you thinking I want to let you know is another Shorty award for you that just came in really after that speech and that speech alone. They cancelled the Shorty Awards next year. That's the award for biggest genius thing broadcasting. They have the biggest genius in broadcast.
Well, yeah. I mean, it's important to humble myself because I know these awards are flying in, but it is also nice to look back and reminisce and accept the another. Streamy another one. It was for the acceptance speech. Damn, you just got to streamy for best acceptance speech. I was sick. Hey, do you know what can you say racking them up.
Hey, you might want to apologize to the history podcast because they were nominated.
Oh, I'm sorry. Guys mentioned them. You guys put up a good fight. H3, a very funny, but not this year. Wasn't there year a chicken wing in China tested positive for covid. A chicken wing. Yeah, a chicken wing.
Oh, yeah. Why would they test the chicken wing? I don't know, guys.
So I'm sorry. Are you saying the same thing? Are you saying chicken wing or chicken wing? Such thing as a chicken wing fried chicken wing is a dance from like the 70s. OK, Michaela, a dance.
So you mean the chicken test, the whole chicken tested positive for covid know, a frozen chicken wing. It has Colvert on it. Yeah. So you got to be careful, man. Are you from where did you get positive?
It was an extra on Cardi B's music, you know. Oh J. J where was it and how did this chicken wing even go to the doctor. It was the chicken wing like I feel sick. You're actually posing a great question, like what made them go? We better test this chicken wing to make sure. Oh, OK, I know what happened. So there must have been testing chicken wings, like just in general, like they must have been like chicken wings.
They covid like that must have been the original test. Yeah. And then they were like yes it is. Newsflash chicken wings and Yeah. Buffalo wings now so watch out.
Hey I got a text, we all got a text from guys.
Oh. So I thought that's just an average. We all got a text some days ago. Say congrats on getting a text that's pretty sick, you never text me.
And in fact now when you call me I'm just like, oh God, what's wrong?
Every time I face time, you borrow your face. Looks like you know what your face looks like when you answer it. It looks like you just stepped out of the living room to go talk to me, because I'm about to tell you that somebody I like, like you can like you're leaving. Like you could tell that you're leaving a room. Well, because you need to, like, get the best. You think something is wrong every time I call you.
That's how rare are you call me these days normally. So now when you do call like before, when you would call, I be like, yeah, come right over. But, you know, I'm not mad about that. I'm just saying when I do get a call from me, I'm like, oh, something must be wrong. I posted something or but no. We all got a text this week from David's publicist saying that this podcast needs to have no sex in it.
Did you guys see that text?
I didn't get that. Someone said that. Yeah, someone your publicist, Megan Senate. She said, guys, this week on the podcast, please do not talk about sex. I want to see how it performs.
I'll tell you how about how I perform when I'm fucking know I can't do it. OK, so no sex podcast. No sex podcast. We got to keep it. Really. I think it'll do worse. I honestly think our listeners have been up since we've been talking about jerking off. I think I honestly think we're welcoming in like a new audience.
You know, honestly, our viewership has gone up. I get a lot of Dems on insourcing.
Thank you for teaching me about sex. Do you really? Yeah. Really?
Yeah. No, you don't know it is. I do. I like a well some are like very sarcastic, some like thank you for teaching me. I was sitting with my mom on our way to to Ralph's. I really appreciate that now but I like yeah. I like, I like talking about socks. Well the first person that talks about sex on this podcast has some sort of punishment.
The last time I made the joke, it's a spanking and I'm really in my head having that.
Again, a fun spanking, not a dirty spank, not a dirty. Yeah, whoever talks about sex gets tied up. How about that?
I still really want to get tied up.
Oh yeah. Earlier today I was like, hey, what are you hungry for?
Because Dick Taylor, what the fuck what the fuck is gotten into you. Oh, nothing. Yeah.
Earlier she was watching the Sway Boys house, Tic Tacs, and she goes she turns to our our other sister and she goes, well, let's go.
That's all me and Taylor and each other. And take Doggett's just so boys and tell them it's nice. I like that.
Like older people have gotten into like those, those Tic-Tac boys because on Vine it was only like the young guy looks like the young girls that were into like those like cute boys on Vine. Right. But now it's like the older like 24 or 25 year old girls like are starting to like like the the boys on Tic-Tac talking. It's culture shifting which is kind of cool.
Yeah. Yeah. Tic-Tac, those guys are really nice. I was ah they live in my old house. I was over there the other day.
Yeah I do that one. So. So this is tech talkers. It's called the Sway House. Yep.
And it's a couple of dudes and they live in Jason's old house where he used to live. And Jason before he came over, went to the backyard and he buried ten thousand dollars like in their backyard. And then he went to their front door and he goes, Hey, guys, you know, I used to live here. I buried ten thousand dollars in the backyard. Can I just go grab it? And they were like and I was watching the video.
I'm here. I'm like, so confused. And like, they think Jason's joking. And then he starts digging up the dirt with his fucking hand and he pulls out like a Ziploc bag with ten thousand dollars in cash. And I mean, look at it.
You're like, well, what the fuck is fucking for real?
Really, really funny. Really funny. And Jason goes, this thing goes, yeah. I mean, Mirch was doing well and we were living here. We just had a lot of money coming in. We didn't know where to put it. We we just started burying it.
It was weird to be there. They painted over the painting that you put in there. We painted over the painting. We didn't. Oh, we didn't. Oh, did you do you did your did your crew go over there and painted over. Yeah, of course.
I think when you got rid of the house we had to paint over. Taylor, good. OK, so it didn't get done. Oh, wow. Yes, you know, Natalie wasn't over there. Hey.
Hey, did you see me? See me? This is a great lesson today. Do you see me butter up, Natalie, today in the car?
I wasn't really I was. That is a great lesson.
Jason got in the car, needed something from Natalie. So immediately goes now. You're beautiful today, honestly. And here's the thing. Jason hopped in the car and before he could turn his fat neck around, because it takes it takes it takes a while to sit in the car and turn around.
So he really before he could even turn around to look at Natalie, he goes, Natalie, you look beautiful today. Look, as he's scooting into the Taslim, he's like he's like putting one leg up. And then the next is like, hip is busted. He goes, You look so beautiful, Natalie.
And I was like, What? And then he's like, yeah, you have the best sense of humor. And he's like, Oh, by the way, can you be my YouTube video I'm doing? Yeah, I tell you about it.
But it worked. Flattery, genuine flattery because I was genuine about it will get you everywhere.
You were being genuine. I was, I think the world of Natalie, of course. OK, yeah.
That she's beautiful and she's very funny and she's got her job. I love Natalie. I think she's very special. You look like Natalie.
I like her as in like a, you know, daughter kind of way.
I'm very proud of her step daughter type of way, step daughter.
And as this kind of song about sex, if we keep going with it, I have been playing tennis with Wyatt and it's so funny. Like sometimes he's really good and sometimes he's really bad and like, it's really frustrating. Because you just want the game to go faster. Oh, fuck, sorry, and you got you got the next time, next time you talk about why and just sleep. No, no. You got to look. I mean, you got to go.
Hey, heads up, buddy. It's about to go down because you love these stories. Give me because I spaced out sometimes. Give me a big big heads up. OK, I won't, I'll try not to talk about it but if you ever know. No, I'm kidding. What happened? You guys were playing time. Well, this is funny. I thought you probably relate to this because you used to play tennis.
Have you ever gone to, like, get a ball over a fence and like so he goes to get the ball and they go get the ball because I can't move. And he goes get them and he throws it, but then it doesn't make it over.
Oh my God. That is the most weird thing to do.
I ever did like five fucking times. He was like, oh God. I'm like, just fucking leave the ball, just come back and play because I want to go over there and I want to get he asked me to play tennis every fucking night and I'm like, I'll go but I got to get a sweat on like I got to get a workout. That's the only way I can, I can validate. I'll go like you can't play like a pussy, OK, because papà needs to shred some fucking calories.
I do. I'm not going to make me run. Then you better fucking sit at home. That's how we do it too. I go. Let's go, let's go keep playing. I go get my heart rate up and like and so he can't serve so I allow him to serve as much as he wants.
Yeah. So sometimes I'll serve like seven times but then otherwise he's good. Like he can actually play. He has a backhand he made, he makes some incredible shots but then other times I'll fucking hit the ball and he'll just like watch it, he'll just look at it. And so I said to him, Michael, what's going on? I go sometimes you're playing really well and other times not. And he goes, he goes, he goes, I don't know.
He's like I just like have you ever when the ball comes, do you ever just like, look at it and think you're returning it for.
But then you're not. And I'm like no you just hit it.
Your son seems like a perfect person to talk to about the invention of night. I feel like.
Oh, he would love that. Oh, he loves shit like that. He would actually entertain.
What's some weird shit that he's brought up around. Yeah. Oh my God. He talks about the space time continuum all the time.
And he has like theories though, right? He has certain theories that he throws out. And I'm an idiot, so I don't I can't tell if they're good or not. I brought them to Nic Yuhas once had him tell Nic you has the theories. Yeah. I mean, he's a smart kid.
He's he's OK. Yeah. Charlie's the one that'll be successful, Troy.
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Oh yeah, I always have that one. Don't pull those down.
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I mean that's, that's what, that's honestly what sex feels like is being inside me.
And it's a no sex podcast. But I can say for sure, David, you have called it. Right, right.
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Right. What were you guys fighting about the other night when L.A. sent me that video? That was so funny.
I was here and then I left and then L.A. sent me this juicy video of Illia and David arguing like a best friend, arguing the little fucking cunt. That's why I fucking ordered I ordered Wendy's and chick fillet. And what I ordered from Wendy's was the chili. And for chick flick, I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. Yeah, pretty healthy options.
And Ilya goes, what are you doing? Why are you cheating? And I go, and I got the fucking cheating. It's chili. It's how you look it up. And I'm like, just fucking Wendys, you know, have to bust my balls, like, look it up. And and then and then we got into this whole thing and I'm like and I'm like, well, you cheat once a week.
So technically you're just as much of a cheater as I am. And he goes once a week is fine if you're not cheating the rest of the week. And I was like, and I go, imagine if you've a fucking girlfriend and you cheat on her once a week, you're still a cheater.
Now, it's not bad now. Fucking they're fucking idiots. Fuck you. Maybe I'm not getting to the Chili's on. How so? These a Chick fil the Chili's not unhealth.
Yeah it is. No it's not.
That is read the ingredients by the end of the argument. You agreed that he was right. Yeah, you did agree.
I was right. He would like to be yelling at him. She out and she was cheating. Every day she wants a week. You still fucking consider cheating cheater.
I was so jealous when I saw that I was like, damn. And then literally the second, like, they're both screaming, screaming and screaming. And then he like sits down and I go, I kind of agree with Illiniwek. Yeah, me too.
Oh, when you do that, when you argue a point and get me all riled up and in the end you're like, I was just fucking around. I get so mad at you. I get so mad at your fucking favorite.
Yeah. You're good at that. Yeah. You love it. Well yeah. Also like I was like I also like at first I was like just pissed that Illia for fucking calling me out on my chili because like I'm a fan of the chili and I do genuinely think it's healthy. And then yeah, we got a little sidetracked and I told him that it's like he's cheating on his girlfriend when he's eating his chicken sandwich, which wasn't true, which is a crazy comparison.
But but yeah, I got carried away and I admit that. But I mean, listen, it was a heated argument and I had a good time.
Heat of the moment. I think you could say both whatever. But I agree with you.
I wanted that to turn into a huge argument.
The other thing that you do is I'll run into somebody. And I was like, yeah, they were kind of shitty like that. And then they were like, no, they weren't. You'll be like like, no, they weren't. And I'm like, no, you weren't fucking there. I was there. I told you. I'm telling you. They were kind of shitty and not that friendly.
I don't disagree with you to just disagree with you. OK, I'm telling you the truth here. Like sometimes I'll take his ex-wife side on things like battle pissed juice an awful lot, but like, that's not true. Yes.
Taylor, you guys have been arguing a lot lately. I believe you got in an argument earlier this morning while getting back in the car.
Yeah, we got a lot of arguments. I mean, listen, it's part of us growing as friends and I we're living together.
So there's a lot this motherfucker let me tell you what, he did live lived together before I do this morning, I woke up, I wake up, not know. I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed and I check the AC because I normally do.
He put it to. Or 54 degrees, OK, which is like it's like it's cold enough to like where it can maybe start snowing. Yeah, like in the freezer. It's bad. It's bad. So I turn it up in 96, but that's fucked up. That's like that's like that's fucked up. You got to learn your lesson man. You got to learn your lesson. It's so fucking hot in this house. Nobody can handle it but you.
You're fucking. I'm not only person like that.
He asked me to do that. Going to pour boiling water. I'm gonna fucking do why. I'm going to install on my own fucking ass unit in my fucking room and tear up the whole fucking living room and have ducks running just to my fucking room. Ducks. What does this have to do with animals and.
Can I tell the story of when I came in the other morning, what happened?
It's like I can't do like walking kind of before 10:00. So I was like on the earlier side. Yeah. So I walk in and as I'm walking in Illia, it's coming out of David's room in his underwear, like fixing his underwear and looks at me and I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, no, I don't worry about it.
This room here, David. Yeah.
Oh no, no. Earlier what happened is like Elliott never wakes me up and he's like, yo, you got to get up. You gotta go go to the meeting. And and then and he woke me up. And then as he's walking out of here, Ali, going, what the fuck is going on? And I hear Elliott go, it's not what it looks like. And then I scream and I just wanted to add to it and I don't know.
And I go, Ilea, come back to bed. Yeah, that's a short story I fucked in far the story.
I tell you about what we did, but we're not allowed to talk about sex. So the other day I was on my way to the DMV and Joe texted me and he's like, hey, Steve was taped to a billboard. So I took one like left turn that I would normally not take. And I got there right before my DMV appointment. And there he was taped on a billboard. Yeah, I'm not much to the story other than the fact that he was promoting his special and he taped himself to the billboard and his like his like guys were there, like his team that produces everything.
And they were like, yeah, we taped him up here at nine in the morning and no one was here for about the first hour. And he was pretty bummed and sad about it. But then everyone showed up, like the fire department and police department. Every news station was there. So it got pretty fucking wild and they pulled them down. And that's one of the cops, if he's getting arrested and they said, no, it's that's nice.
They said no. Yeah. Oh, no. I don't think I think he was just telling me that. I wonder if he got arrested.
He what do you do when you're a bully or where you bully in high school?
Is that a serious question? You're ask if Jason was bullied in high school or if he was the bully or not at all in the short time we've known each other?
I mean, you were bullied, right? Of course it was. But yeah, that's OK, though. Awful, because look where you are now. You're getting bullied by you guys.
It's like my nickname was Weg in high school. Weg. Yeah I like that.
That's like shouldn't it's ju backwords I, I like that. That's sick. I will tell you what that's like a satellite nickname which it is a cool name.
If it didn't have the right to do it. What are the police say when you go back home David. Why were the police so funny or what do you mean what did the police say? What are the police say to you if you go back home?
Like, are they like David's cool? Yeah, are they like, fuck this guy? Know they're pretty nice. Nice. Yesterday we were driving and there was this fucking cop and now he was right behind me and I was like pushing up on and I was like, fuck, he's trying to get around not only to get to me. And then he like went like went around like Natalie and like cut her off and then pulled right up next to me, like, fuck, here it goes.
And he told me to roll my window down and he's like, what's up?
And I go, Oh shit.
Hi. I thought you were pulling me over. And he's like, I thought about it. But I know that you get I know if I would just bother you. He was saying, hi, I want to say something right after walking back.
Go. Okay, well, fuck you. This is the middle of the podcast. Listen.
And already recorded 20 minutes. This isn't right off bat today. You're just dumb mac and cheese limousine's pool, right?
Yeah. And David drops me off with with Taylor. You're welcome. By the way, with just twenty feet away, they drop me off. David goes to Runyon and he comes back in like an hour and a half.
He calls me and I was back. Don't make my hike. Seem like they take a while. OK, whatever. Fucking thirty minutes or whatever.
Whatever. Thirty minutes. He's back in thirty minutes. He FaceTime me. I'm just laying there.
He's like, yo, come on Todd, I'm here. I'm like, wait, hold on a second. I'm, I made a joke.
I'm like, I'm chilling with the boys. It's like I, I'm leaving. I'm like, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming out.
And he's like, No, no, I'm driving up, I'm driving up right now. I'm like, Rose, just wait.
No, he picked up the phone and he was on the lounge chair with Zane and like Zane's company, he's company. I'm like, this is going to be a while, OK? Yeah. So I'm like, I'm just going up the hill to come back down and get you, like, no big deal. I want to go home, I want a shower. And there's one thing I like if there's like one pet peeve I have, it's like I hate making pit stops and you know, that's like a pit stop.
It's I hate to wait for your nicotine. Oh, my God. Or gas stations. I'm the worst. I know you are the worst. The worst pit stop for coffee. And this was this is a pit stop.
It's on it's on the same a little different than a pit stop. And then guess what happened. Guess what happened. So Taylor goes to pick him up. I appreciate that. I do. He comes upstairs, he comes back into the house and I'm looking for him because I want to talk to him because because, you know, he gets pissy and I can't find him. And he's outside in the backyard staring out at the view, like leaning over like like he's reminiscing on his childhood.
The dude is so fucking dramatic. It is in. OK, that was a joke I was joking about. That wasn't a joke. They just why it's so powerful. It was you.
All you have to do is wait fifteen seconds. That's insane. How you can't wait fifteen seconds. It's because I didn't think of me 50 seconds but I told you I'd be right out. I just didn't believe you. It wasn't like you had anything going on. I just needed a shower head man.
He hates doing this. Oh my God. If whenever we would go out filming, if I needed something, I would never be sorry you on.
Because honestly, the only reason I brought this conversation was because I thought you'd be on my side.
Well, I'd have to be on your side because if it wasn't David, I know David would be on your side.
OK, also say something. Yeah, I am on your side. I think what I did is really fucked up.
OK, ok, thank you. I should definitely wait. It makes me feel better. Thank you. OK, yeah. Well that's settled. What interferes with your happiness.
You turn the fucking AC off dude.
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Help, help, Dotcom argues.
What was your Chatroulette story? Very Goncourt on Chatroulette by somebody that you know, like somebody that you know? No, no.
That sounds horrible and virtually impossible to live. Yeah, well, it happened to me. No, I think it would be. I think it would be possible.
So Chatroulette is a place where at least back in the day, kids would go on to, like, flirt with other now to you'd like flirt with girls. I don't even know if you know what it's about.
I know what Chatroulette is. Yeah.
Like you go on there usually with like at sleepovers, you'd go on there with, like three friends and you just look for girls that were like your same age.
So they're like, oh, you have a chat box. And it's like a random conversation with a random person. You click NACS and it goes to the next person. OK, I feel like everybody listening knows a fucking Chatroulette is just chasten here.
I know what it. So so what's the status on this thing called the Internet, and it's fucking great. All right, what happened? So I don't have many of these Chatroulette sessions. Right. Like maybe sessions, OK. Yeah. Like were you Jet?
I was alone. Right. So I didn't have anybody near me. All right. You went on by yourself. Just by myself. What were you going on for?
I was like 14 and I was going on to, like, flirt with a girl, like hook up with a girl, whatever, like like, OK, sorry. And we're not allowed to talk about this because I'm not talking about jerking off. But would it be like a like a experience of the girl where you would take your clothes off and she would take her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Okay, okay. I already have my shirt off. Oh wow. Yeah. I have already had my shirt off.
Oh so you're on. Tarar is a 14 year old kid with your shirt off. Yes. OK, and so I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling through people and like I'm already kind of worried because I'm like this fucking weird and you're by yourself in my room.
Yeah. Oh fuck.
And so I'm scrolling it and it's like fifteen minutes and I feel like lanta like new girl and like we're talking and the chat and she types in the chat like oh my God, I know you.
Oh dude, I turned so rad. Oh my God. Like oh OK. And then I type back. I'm like well I don't know who Illia is.
Let's go bro. She sends me and she sends me a Facebook link to my profile.
So you look at me, I'm like, look at that time.
I didn't have any social media. So like she had to have known me like from somewhere, but I had no idea what the fuck this girl was. Oh, you had no idea. She had no idea who she was.
I like I was so embarrassed that I pretended that someone was in my room and I turned around.
I started mouthing to like pretend person, like pretending like nothing's happening. And like you were like pretending you were you were with friends. Yeah.
And and yeah, I just clicked like exit or whatever, and then that was it.
But it was so much fun I had to grow up, you know.
But she said she. Oh, she sent you the link on to the chat roulette. Yes. Yeah.
And how does she know you? I have no idea.
I've probably had somebody from high school that I would assume was from middle school. I don't know. But I feel like she would have confronted me about it.
No, because it's a weird thing to Charolette is like it's like being at a strip club, like whoever you meet there you shouldn't talk about.
Like we had something similar when I was a kid. It was a chat horseback. Are you fucking with me? Yeah, right.
We get on horseback and we would ride for a couple of days and, and meet up with people. Took a lot more time. She never showed her face though.
Not just ignored you. I was like, OK, Jason, hold on. Something like this chat horseback.
No, we got the horse back. We got the joke. We're on a horse.
You see, I was trying to we're going to find this podcast earlier if you keep acting up like this, OK?
No, no, she she showed her face. She was I pretty sure she was like with a friend to see. But you didn't know she. I had no idea who they were. Yeah, I had no idea. And I still don't know.
So you guys don't know if in fact I have the fifth most liked ticktock on the app.
Really. Thanks for the explosion. Probably makes you want to treat me nicer huh. Jason would explode. Pretty nice. Do you actually have a science experiment. Oh that's nuts. What's ahead of you, huh. Jason Trillo.
It's the rock and it's like Selena Gomez and I don't know and some other guy who does like his dancing. Most liked.
Right. Most liked. Yeah. 18 million likes. Wow. Pretty good. That's crazy, really.
Do you ever get into any trouble on Chatroulette?
OK, just a heads up. There's no more talking about fucking this is a fuck free podcast. OK, you're called fuck free podcast.
Walk Free podcast. No fucking talking about fucking no dicks, no pussy per order of David's publicity for free. You're used to these guys talking about sex. Well, not today. Put your dicks away, pussy. No getting hired on this podcast.
I think people have forgotten us talking about jerking off. I was a kid out there that was like, yes, yes. I think it was over like that because this guy.
Right, guess what? My grade was in trigonometry. Well, it's definitely an F that's typically the one you fell 43 percent or you fucking serious sources.
Dude, if the teacher were to ask me, like a fucking simple question, I would have been like, I have no fucking idea.
Why did you do it? I got it.
One time I got a zero out of twenty eight quiz. Swear to God, right hand to God.
She walked out to me. She goes, Are you serious? Where did you get a forty three percent of the entire class.
I just like I, I hated it so fucking much and it was my eighth period of the day and I was like so done with school by then like and oh my God that's the worst.
And on Craig. What a fucking bitch. It's such a bitch. I literally like honestly, there would be times where I just wouldn't go like and like, that's not normal for Fernholz High School, you know, I skip class.
Yeah, I just wouldn't feel that's not normal. Yeah. It was just like I'm so over it. And what happened when you felt there was a good chance of me not graduating, but somehow I got around that.
I don't know really. How do you get around it?
I have no idea. But like, I was so fucking nervous because I felt like I might be able to walk the fucking stage and then I just never asked any questions.
Crazy that that was like a thing for some students, like some students can graduate because of their grades. The dodgeball show I've been working on is coming out when when you come out.
Is it coming out not only on Wednesday at nine. P.M.. Wow, that's fucking Discovery Wednesday. Yeah, I watched some commercials for. It's really cool. They go dodgeball, turn it on once my Davido break. Really? Yeah, it's really you get to watch it here. We're going to have a big party. Yeah.
We're going to throw a little premiere party the fall. We actually watch it. Yeah. Do you ever when you're high do you ever go. I'm not high. I'm good. I'm good.
Well you're so high for saying that, that I was crazy.
No, listen. But I feel like. What was I saying, fuck, what was I saying? What I like the last minute. Can you just repeat it, Joe? Joe, put this shit in. I can't remember what you fucking said.
It was me. Don't see that happening on the podcast like three weeks ago. And now we're in a full conversation and I just dropped.
Continue what you were. There's no fucking way you're remember, you're the. I know what you said. I know what you said. Where are you this high? I don't remember what I said. What the fuck did I just say? Oh, my God. Well, please tell me what you're talking about.
Are you ever that high where you're like, I'm good? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Because you're your little girl, your little story or is like, are you over that high? I'm good. I'm good. I'm in 50 seconds later you're like for the trip out. That's literally what just happened with you as you were explaining the story.
OK, we all, we all we all end up on a desert island. Got to go. Hey, we're on a boat. We're having a great time. The boat capsizes.
It's me, Dave, Illia, Taylor, Ella and Natalie. Jason's going for us. What happens? Who does what on the island?
It capsizes. Oh, we're stuck on the island. Are we stuck in the ocean? Stuck on the island.
Did you just use give him CEO permission?
Is that what I just heard? I was just asking him a question. OK, but yeah. Like to the area.
You asked the question to me directly, David, what would you make us all do that's not illegal?
No, no. I was thinking like a little fish. It's a fucking stupid hypothetical. No, it's not. I'd love this. I'm going to go. I'm going to go now. So I got to go. Definitely. No, thank you so much for the last three years. You guys, I love this podcast. I'm not funny anymore. And I'm going to leave now. I live in a couple of seconds to say goodbye to the audience.
I dig. I'd start digging.
That's all right. I'm back. No, I don't know what I would do on it. First, I'd like walk around. I'd be like, please, for the love God, tell me it's not deserted. And then I would start looking for food. Right. I think that's the only thing you do, right? Yeah, I guess so.
But I mean, like after we found food and stuff and we built houses and shit, what would everybody do on the island.
Oh like if we were to start our own colony. Yeah. Now you're talking. You see bro, this is what this is why the podcasts are so great.
Because one second I'm like, maybe we should lose Jason. And then I give you just a little more time and you really redeem yourself. I'm trying. All right. So, yeah.
What will we do on this island? Yeah, I think we all set up roles. Right?
I think that's what I would do. I don't think we like to split up into two communities. I think would be one community.
Why would we see what up into two communities? Because I'm saying because sometimes sometimes when you're on deserted island, you just want to be alone with Illia.
I'm like, we definitely split up Mignolet this way. Everybody else that way. No, no, no, no, no.
Because sometimes when you're sometimes when people are on an island, they freak out and they're like, you know, you know, like survivor shows. Well, they get so mad at each other like fuck, you know, fuck you. Like we would stay together. I know that.
Right. OK, so now we got to the roles, what our roles would be.
Illia would be would be hunting and gathering fish, fishing, spearfishing. It'd be it'd be like him, him and Natalee would go out to get stuff.
Now he would be the brains and Amelia would be the muscles. So Natalee would be like, why? Why does she get the brains? Because you're a dumb ass. So because you got a forty three, so you got a forty percent of trigonometry. So Natalee would be like lost that coconut at that tree.
More coconuts will fall and then we'll use this muscle and knock down all the coconuts. So that's what happened. And then and then me.
What I would do is make sure if I were you I'd make sure everybody's OK. So when Natalee would come back, I know how to go and they'd go good. But thank God I was worried about you. So I'm kind of the guy I'd be the guy that sits back at home base and make sure to worry about everybody.
You can't do that. Why? Why do you get decide to decide that you're sitting at home base? Why can't I stay at home base?
Because you're your muscles. You're muscular. What are you there? I'm just a weak guy who just wants to sit at home base.
That was enough for you to or she do.
Taylor Oh, Taylor. OK, so Taylor would Taylor would start to get branches together and build like a house that would be Taylor's responsibility. And then your responsibility yours would be the and you'd be trying to figure out ways to signal the outside world.
So you'd be the guy. So you'd be the guy. Yeah, you'd be the guy. Starting with Ryan Lochte. You'd be the guy starting a fire on the beach that spells out S.O.S.. OK, but we get out we get out there and it's just like it's it's misspelled. It's just us. Hi. It's just us. Enjoy your vacation. Enjoy your flight.
So people fly by nice on that island. Why didn't you get me a job.
Oh shit. L or a J is l an island too. Yeah. So fuck my bet you'd have the most important job on the island. Don't worry. I love you'd start marketing.
I would run marketing. Joe, I love you.
Oh Joe doesn't want these podcasts anymore. Klaudia what's up Gloria.
I think you should know that we're trying. I mean this is the last one we're sending him.
It's you know, there was just a second and he was like, oh.
But that was a joke to our editor, Joe, who listens to this, and sometimes we like leave him like like our own little things to say to him, like we're leaving voice messages.
Yeah, we'll just say hi to him during the podcast. So don't worry, you're not getting fired, even though he probably wishes the editing.
This is a bit remember all the college shows we did last year? The colleges we went to Iowa State was my favorite. That was my favorite. Do you remember this at Iowa State?
Oh, and the girl in the car, huh? Yeah. Girl in the car. That was I say, hit me with your car. Yes. All good, bro.
So funny. So we went to Iowa, so it's actually not even that funny, but like not looking back at it's fucking hilarious. We went to Iowa State and we were filming like college bits. We were like it was a really good day of filming. Everybody was down to film there. It was so fun. And these frat boys took us through the house. Yes. And there was a beer bong there.
And I turned to Jason.
I go, Have you ever done a butt chug? And he goes, No. And the kids go, You've never done it but know. And they're like, you got to do one. And I'm like, obviously I'm like, fuck you, Jason. You got to put Jug.
And she's like, I can't do it in front of these kids. Like, what's going on? So we told all the girls to leave and it was only like the three oldest looking guys. And we took them and Jason to the basement and we and we've kind of flipped Jason, put them on his back and we stuck it up his ass and we. Yeah. And we put beer on his sleeve.
I fucking forgot about this. Yeah. He didn't make the video. No. And I cut out of the video because it was too gross. And the funniest part is. But the fucking cops came.
The cops are knocking on the door. Yeah I know. The police are just looking at me with this. Pat says knees inside of college. Jason's looking at me. Just looking at me. What the fuck the fuck do we do? It's fine. We're going to fucking walk out of here, but we got to report to somebody. But checking in here. Yeah. So so. Yeah. So we left. The cops are super nice. They're like guys, there's too many people here.
Get out of here. And it was like and we like built a crowd around us because we were trying to do this bit. Right. So there was a lot of people outside of the house while you were checking, it was just me, you and like three college frat dudes. That was really fun because we we were just driving by. We saw like three, six people on lawn chairs in front of a house.
And then David got out of the car and they were super nice. And for like twenty minutes we had beers with them. We were having fun. But then eventually, like, 500 people came. Yeah. And it started from just.
Oh, yeah, that's nice. Crew of people just hanging out. Yeah.
It's like five kids just hanging out. And then and then everyone came and it turned into like this big like outdoor party and. Oh my God. Yeah. That was fun. That was and the temperature was great out too. Yeah. Like was like a perfect day for like that was fun.
Hey you know what's going on right under your nose. Taylor and I like hooking up. You know, I don't know about that. Oh. But there's a big there's a lot of play around here, a lot of a lot of side deals being made. It's starting to get to be like these guys are like, hey, let's just not tell them and then it'll work out, you know? You know that.
Did you ever think you'd be that person? Why would you ever think you'd be the boss where people are, like, not telling you things? Because if they involve you, you'll actually slow down the process.
You know, that's what's happening many times. And I'm not I can't believe I'm only telling you this because I think it's a funny podcast topic. I probably should have kept my mouth shut. I love it. Wait, wait.
What's happening? You know what I got when I graduated? I just got what he said. But Jason shouldn't have said that. Well, let's forget it. I just telling you and we'll save it for next week.
No, give me an example. Like just now. Just happened under your fucking knows what happened. It literally happened under your nose. You didn't hear it. What? OK, well, Ilya said we have plenty for the podcast this week. So so Ilya goes, why don't we just take a chunk of that and use it for next week? That way you guys aren't so pressed to make a podcast. And then I was like, that's such a great idea.
And then and now you're like, let's just do it.
Don't even fucking tell them I'm sorry to hear from you. It's Oh, shit. And then you tell me that we shouldn't do that. We should make a fresh podcast. I'm not putting leftovers in a new one. Nobody.
No, nobody knows it's the same shit every week. Dog. Well, I'm so confused.
You don't want the extras to be put in the new one.
Now dude, you know the rule of law and should be the podcast is your best foot forward and nothing save for later.
OK, Mr. Cheater. Oh fuck. You want to add anything?
My best foot forward. Would you go for number one. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast.
Thank you guys for listening. Thank you to Allah Taylor, Illia, Natalie and Jason Nash for all being here with us today. It was a pleasure. Go check out my discovery show. It premieres Wednesday, this Wednesday, right. This Wednesday at nine p.m., nine p.m., Natalie, eight, nine p.m. on Discovery. She goes in. I go check it out.
Me, Hawk and Aaron are the hosts of it. It's really a really fun cool. You guys there. My name is Jeff.