Transcribe your podcast

Well, some guys like to views the podcast where we're at today, we're going to talk about what came first, the fruit or the color orange hit me.


Oh, the fruit. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I wrote.


I think with Drew Barrymore show today, and as you guys know, Drew Barrymore is in one of my favorite fucking movies ever, 50 first dates. And as you know, that is a really hot topic here on The View's podcast, because, Jason, I got the serious arguments about, like, whether or not we like that movie or whatever or like I think it's at the top 10 best movies of all. The argument is, is it in the top 10?


That's the argument. Yeah, that's the argument I don't dislike. But it is. And he's like it's not anywhere near the top 10.


So we told this to Drew and we told our producers and they were like, great, let's get Jason on a zoom. Let's have them talk shit about 50 first dates. And then Drew will pop in, who's the star of 50 first dates, and she can, like, put in her input and see if she can change the mind, whatever. I was like, great. And we told Jason, can you get on this radio interview thing I have with CBS?


I said it was like seventeen magazine or something. And Jason got on the zoom and I started talking with him first. And I told them I was like a pop quiz. And I was asking him questions. And like, the first question was like, who's your favorite music artist to do the game with the fame game?


And I was like, This is good. And I was like, no, we're not getting the same answers, but I still think this is a fun game, OK? And then and then the fair music artist.


Who did you say? Steely Dan? You said Steely Dan and I said, Lana Del Rey. And then I was like, Dude, we can never agree on anything. And then and then I was like, OK, well, what's your favorite movie? And I go I go 50 first dates.


And he goes, what did you say, Goodfellas?


And and I go, Dude, come on bro. Like admit that like then I got into the whole 50 first dates and then I signaled Drew to enter the zone after I'd already talked. Shit. Yeah. After, after Jason was like, bro, you cannot fucking tell me about that movie.


Yeah. He's on the zombies. I go and you cannot tell me that you think that movie deserves to be even in the top 100 of movies. And then Drew comes in and she goes, Oh, really?


And and Jason, dude. OK, first of all, I didn't know Jason was going to react like this. Jason, I was shocked that you reacted like this.


What did I do?


Well, I thought you were like I thought you were going to be like you were like going to be like brave and you're going to be like funny and like, stick to your guns and like be like the show like, I don't know, make a joke about, like, oh, shit. Drew didn't see you there like that, but you like, panicked.


I completely panicked.


You you fucking panicked like like I don't know if like a regular person would be able to tell watching but like I was like oh my God this dude dude he goes, he goes jr comes on, she goes, oh really. And he goes oh my God. And then he goes, he goes, Oh Drew. True. I mean we were at the grocery store and I literally go, oh my God, I can't believe he's turning into one of these people.


He goes, because this is this is a story. And I already started laughing and he's and then he it's like catches my breath again. He's like, Drew, Drew. We were at the grocery store once. I was getting mustard and I was picking up the mustard. And I saw you and you smiled at me. And literally I was like, oh, that was my reaction to seeing you. That's what Jason said. And I was like, I cannot fucking believe I felt so bad.


When she came on the screen, I was like, oh, fuck. Now I'm like dissing probably her one of her favorite things she's probably ever done. That was all I reacted. I was like, fuck. I was like, oh, god, no remorse, feelings.


That was so funny and oh boy.


But then I recovered that. I was like, look, it's the top ten. I said, I like the movie, but it is not in the top ten greatest movies of all time.


We finished the argument off. Drew is the best part about it, but it was just due to the last. Like if I was to bet on all your reactions, the last one was the one you gave us.


You didn't think I would panic? No, but that's like that's like when I surprise people with like with like and I surprise people with Kylie Jenner. Yeah.


And then they go, oh they go, oh, she's not my favorite sister. And then she pops up and they go, well you're actually your new makeup line is so amazing. Like honestly I've been using like honestly. Right. Like that's the type of panic you had and it was the funniest fucking thing. I was like, I cannot believe.


Were you nervous when when I saw her, I was like a ghost. I was like, oh, fuck.


You didn't see it coming at all. Not at all. Not at all.


She said it was seventeen magazine. When I texted Jason this morning, like I texted probably like forty five minutes beforehand, I was like, hey, like David needs help like seventeen magazine to interview him for some pop culture stuff. Seventeen magazine is owned by CBS or CBS, which I like totally pulled out of my ass. And the way that Jason responded, he was like, yeah, OK, where do you see me and when. And I can just tell he was like that panicked state.


We're like, anything I said didn't really matter. He wasn't even thinking about what I was saying. He didn't question it at all.


I was with all those that saying the other day, this is really funny what she told me. That's what happened.


Oh my God. We were like I was I had to drop him off, like, pick drop him off somewhere. So I was like, oh, I'm I have my car. If we want to take my car is like, what car do you have said, I have a minute.


He goes, I mean, why go for the committee SUV? Oh, what a fucking most sane thing you could possibly hear. Yeah. I mean why it's such a. I do, too, when I heard that story, I thought we all died. I thought I was the funniest fucking thing. I mean, it's like something you'd see in a movie that's really smart.


And then it's like a Zacchaeus a month. It's like, whoa, it's like a Zach Galifianakis moment. And like over when you're like, I drive a mini I got a mini minivan. That's such a funny joke. Oh, my God. She made the deep dish pizza. It turned out horrible, but she's still eating it.


Every time I take a bite of anything today where we had a meeting today and I have not eaten all day, it is 2:00 p.m. and this she does the worse thing. She does the worst in everybody.


We're watching something on the TV or whatever. We've been that we've been sitting in this mean for 45 minutes. All people that we know very closely both preach my lunch. It's sitting there for 20 minutes and I'm like, like, I'm starving right now. I just want to have a bite of food. So I go to grab it and they put on the thing and they're like that. And then as soon as I grab it, it's like Netley watch, like keep watching the TV and God forbid I look away for two seconds and David goes, oh, isn't that the worst when she does that?


So because they put something on the front, everybody tell your whole story. Is you eating that's your whole Instagram story today. Bringing the watermelon next one's like taste. Got the cheese.


They put something on the TV because we were like, we are looking at commercials, like good commercials. And they're like, let's watch this one. This is a good commercial. And they put it already want to hit it.


And I hit play and Natalie reaches for the food as we hit play. And the guy that's here for the meeting goes, Natalie, hold on.


And I go and I go, yeah, I fucking hate when she does that and literally looks at me like so disgusted. I hate that. I hate when, like, when we're talking about like creative projects and some like puts one on that they like really enjoy. Yeah. And then Natalie, who works in the creative field, decides that her Turkey BLT is better, a better choice. That's why I got stuck getting invited to the meetings. Yeah.




And it, it, it's so rude how you insult everyone like in front of people like you don't need to make me feel like shit first. He said at first you didn't it. And I made it ten times worse. Oh you just got food sexist.


So I said no Brauer's. And it's literally. Oh yeah. They just spoke this. Julia, David just love this and you're such a hypocrite. Every time you have food, every time your meal comes, everyone has to drop everything so that you can fucking inhale it like a fucking animal key word. Inhale. We love it quickly. We don't even get here. Jay, it's really hard here.


I can't wear I can't wear anything in this household. Not one outfit. Make fun of you wear that. David does not make me sick.


She wears the funniest. Will back me up on this. Yeah. Yeah.


He brings in fucking dick. Kornelia. Oh Dick suck. You suck my dick quick. You tell me how right I am that first off I don't suck Davis doing ok. Second off. I just genuinely agree with, I agree with a lot of things that he says.


Why is that a problem. Why. That's my point. You guys are here. I think he's a smart intellectual person like intellectual. You don't know. I think he's a smart intellectual. You said that word. I agree. That's how it should be said. And like, honestly, I think for you, that's good for you. I don't think he's smart and like, honestly, the best person ever, I think. Right, hold on.


What do you think about Ali's outfits? It's very easy to make fun of. Yeah, very easy. Like the other day you dressed as like a cheetah from like a band you like.


The day before that, you were if I can have a cheetah from a band. OK, let me preface first of all, today I wore a very bland outfit on purpose. Didn't say anything today. I know because I wore this on purpose.


My favorite is when Ali walks in and like, I have like three seconds to come up with a good joke, like it's always new every day. So, like, sometimes she'll like the pants will be too baggy. Like it was you just come back from a hip hop shoot and like that it's always. And every day. Every day. I agree it's not the best work environment, but it keeps it keeps people on their toes.


And you know what? I'll take it just because they have absolutely no style.


So I said, hold on, let down, time out. There's no time out here. There's no smoking. So zero style. You have no say. I'm saying time out because 100 percent I have zero style.


So what gives you the right to fucking judge everybody for what?


They're not judging, you know, striped pants that David wears. He like he's playing for the Yankees in the 1920s, believe me.


But I want to see his big horseback riding because he's green pants. Yes. She got to attack the other day. And I was like and I was like, would you park your horse by the garage? It's just so funny. And the best part is, is like like with jokes like that is like you can like initially she'll come in the morning around nine thirty a.m. and like you can make the horseback riding joke, but then throughout the day you could still make the same reference but in a different way.


Right. Like be like, you know, we'll have to go to a meeting and be like, OK, I'll go get a horse. Yeah. Natalie Taylor, come with me. I get your horse and follow us like that.


That's not really fair, though, because you're in your pajamas. You're just she has to go to a work environment. Think she's got to dress up and why don't you why don't you dress like him? But I make fun of her every day for something that other people would think are cool. Like, I'm not like knocking on her for for saying that everybody would be like, wow, OK. Like everyone would like if people saw how Al dresses, they'd be like, oh wow, she looks cool.


And that's the reason I knock her down. Packing up. I'm not punching down. I got you. Yeah, but I guess I just think it's a to tell her.


Remember to tell her you just told her. Right. Did you hear what he said. Yeah. That's, that's he said that you think you look really think I have style.


You just like to make fun. I mean you want to have style. I just think style is the funniest fucking thing in the world because I guess you wear all black every day. Yeah.


I mean you people at your last job rank on you rag on.


You know, I was the fucking most stylish person in my office. What you talk about. Well, you still are the most stylish person here. Oh, that's why I stopped wearing anything but black on black. No, but I think you're I think you're s cool.


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Oh, shit. There's no fucking way. You just sent me a bunch, so I'm doing good right now.


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The other day and I were sitting on the couch and Illia just out of the blue asks me, Haina, would you want to marry me?


And I was like, Jesus Christ, do you doesn't fucking stop with this question. And he's asked me this four times and it sparked this memory in my head.


And I think this goes back to when when he was on the wisdom teeth and he professed his love for me in downtown Chicago.


Right. And he was like, I'm going to he told me like he looked me dead into my eyes, look deep in my soul.


He was like, I'm going to marry you one day when he was like, whether you like it or not, we are going to get married. I know it. I feel like I know we are going to be married.


He told you this when you were at when you're doing the wisdom to eat well, when he was high on drugs. Yeah.


And he was high on drugs, he got his wisdom teeth removed. I remember that. OK, yeah. And I was like this really intense moment. I was like, this is also the first time I even knew that he was really not into me.


And yeah, I remember going into the wisdom surgery like days prior. I just found out he had like a huge crush on you. And I was like and I remember we were going to fly to Chicago to do the wisdom teeth surgery. And I remember I was like, I think I was talking to Jason. I don't know who I was talking to, but I was like, you know, I just found out Illia really likes Natalie.


I'm going to try to squeeze it out of him when I try to squeeze out squeezing. It wasn't it was just fucking poured out of him. I mean, the squeeze, but yeah, OK.


And then what happened then? And then. And I kept going down memory lane and we dredged up like last year we went to Lollapalooza.


And after that moment when he professed his love, there was like there was like this little like month or two of like I would see him. We have this little like eeny meeny like cutesy little thing.


Well, you have you never kissed. Yeah, we have kissed two times. Three times. Oh what the fuck. You guys have kissed it. What. You don't know that. Why are you looking at me and Natalie.


You're looking at me like you've never kissed EYLEA. You're looking at me like you have kissed. No David. You know that we kissed. Oh, you're the one that was like that. Set it off. That made it happen. Oh hell yeah. For me. What do you talk about.


How bad. Yeah. I don't know bro. I have fucking bad bad memory. Are you dumb. Why do you always do that bro. You caught on video. You're like yo yo my best friend, you always want to kiss my other best friend. Like to everybody talking. Oh shit. Yeah I remember helicopter pad. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what we're talking about.


Yeah. I don't remember. We were at Cameo had a party in that penthouse at the end of Lollapalooza and Ilea like opened this window.


OK, yeah. I was recording on the staircase of the helicopter but I didn't know you guys kiss. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. How did you not know that.


I just forgot to turn it off. Let's work out why. Why are you fucking blowing up my fucking shit right now dawg.


Because that was not such a big thing and I got so mad at you for recording because you were like begging me to put it in the blog.


Oh, you didn't let me put it in. No, of course. No problem talking bitch. OK, there was. And then you met David Blaine. Do you remember that? That was me. Yeah, that was you done a lot of stuff actually, David. Right, right. Right. Now, legionary I have a bad memory and I fucking hate that. Right. Fucking get tested on it so often. You guys fucking piss on me.


I'm sorry. Yeah. You deserve it.


Don't you remember we were in we went to Bottle Blondes and I just found out a week ago it is not from Russia. He's from both Russia and Belarus and he's like like you fucking know. And I was like, dude, I just forgot, like chill. I'm so sorry. Like I know. I know you're of the Russian world. I know. Which I didn't know which tribe you came from. They also know my first name sometimes can be.


Come on. Do you remember this when we were at bottom line. I think it was also Lollapalooza weekend and this is what I remember this.


Oh yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah. Oh I totally forgot about that. Yeah I forgot about that. All right now. OK. Yeah, you kicked that bottle blonde, I don't know how we kissed. I think we were both, like, fucking blacked out, like, fucking hammered you.


I remember I kissed Natalie. Natalie, girls don't tell David.


Listen, I run outside of, like, a war zone right now. I don't like it when I go to him. Like, I just don't tell her. I told you. I remember. It was like I remember. And I was so freaked out. I started, like, recording me. Like, we're like running down the street is like screaming. You kiss Natalie. It's like and they're like.


So it was like all these people waiting for us to leave the club or whatever and everyone got these recordings about.


And so all the fans and they were piecing together like people's different recordings and oh I think Natalie Milia kids.


And the next day you were like, I need this in the bag, I need it. And you try to like, come up to me, record me and just smash your camera in your face. I was like, I can't I can't believe you're the first person I told you not to tell your girlfriend.


What is the first time you've ever talked about you guys kissing? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't know it was like a secret. Wow.


That is not I mean, it wasn't really easy. I kind of like. Did you guys did you just go home and cuddle with.


Oh my God. Oh yeah. Yeah. I brought up my part me the other day. Listen, listen. I better my brother. I went home with him that night. Holy fuck. So gross. Yeah. I brought up my apartment today. I'm like, man, I really miss my apartment in Sydney. I turn to Natalie. I'm like, you've never seen. It's crazy. Like as beautiful as she goes.


I have seen it. I'm like, oh shit. You have seen it. I remembered what you guys do back there. That was this was all one night. This is like a helicopter pad. Yeah. Oh, my God. Let me. No, no, no, no. Listen to the story. Yeah, OK.


OK, so it all started. We went to this party and they had a helicopter pad and it was like, oh my God, this is so romantic with Natalie. And he brings me out. I'm like, I'm fucking hammered out of my mind. It's like 2:00 in the morning. I have no idea what's happened here. And oh, God, not the best place to send somebody.


When our camera hopped up and he takes me there and we sit down and you have the video, Ilya tries so many he keeps leaning in.


I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.


Keep sending it over and over again until you try to kiss you like four times. Yeah, I think it happened on the first time. No. Oh, oh, bro. I don't remember. No, no, no, no. I remember now.


I remember now especially because because like to get me to memorize things, to get me to remember things, you have to take me back to where I was begging Natalie to use that clip. And I remember how I was shooting. I was standing outside and shooting you for like forty minutes and you kept trying to kiss her and like me and me and like our hometown friends, I think it was Mike.


I don't know who I was, but we were just like, come on, come on, come on. We're fucking never happen. OK, then what happened? You got to stop. Stop fighting.


And I knew that you guys were videoing me, so I was like super insecure, like, I don't know to do so. You guys finally went away and then we finally kissed and then everyone was and we hung out in this helicopter pad. And then everyone was like, OK, we're leaving. It was like 4:00 in the morning. Oh, my God, it's all my friends are like, got the taxi. I supposed to go with them.


And Illia came downstairs with me and he was like, No, no, come back with me.


And I was like, I don't know about that, because I was like, oh my God. He said, I want to do some stuff and I'm not like, not down for that. Right.


And then but then I turned to my friend son. She was like, just go with him.


I was like, OK, well, then we went back to his apartment and we just went to bed.


No, we kiss at my apartment. Did you guys make out. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I remember that this you OK? This little more detail. We watched the movie. What movie do we watch. Pineapple Express. Yes. Yes, yes.


Did you, did you guys, did you like fill her up. Did you like.


No, no, no. Not after that.


After that we went to bed and then the next morning we got up and like we were both of our phones were really. Yeah. Both of us were dead. Like nobody, no one knew where we were. It was like fucking 1:00 p.m. the next day.


And I was like, the fuck is going on? Oh, the fucker. Natalie, Analia better like now looking at you guys. That is so weird. It's so weird. That is really weird. Is a disgusting story. No, it's not. Actually, it's not discussing it. Yeah. It's like me going like, dude, do you remember the time made out with my sister. Like that's literally what I fucking sounds like. What are you talking.


You just ask her to marry her. The other day I was talking about why is that weird?


Well, you know, I think it's weird now that, like, they know each other.


Like we I've known him longer than you have. So say they would say that I've known EYLEA longer. I think maybe you've seen him around.


I've known him longer than our best friends in the third grade. Are you crazy? Do you really think you're going to marry Natalie?


All that high level officials? Are you OK? I guess so. So the next morning we wake up like, you know, we started driving back to the hotel where everybody is and like, I'm like all macho cool at home. Fuck you guys, you know? Yeah. So we walk in like we knock on the door, we walk into a hotel room.


The first thing Natalie says before I get to say anything, she goes, nothing happened because nothing happened. Nothing happened. I'm like, oh, great. Like, what the fuck, pussy. Yeah. And yeah, that's it.


I just noticed your new tattoo and I was so confused by it. When the fuck did you get that? I got like four nights ago so. Yeah. What is that. I want you to say that, you know. Have you seen. Versión Emperor's New Groove, Salamah Yeah, it's the vibe, I've never seen it, but yeah, let me tell you, you have now, I think 13.


Wow, I don't know which one you hate the most. I don't hate any of them. I think my shark tattoo is my least favorite one.


There is a compilation on Twitter yesterday someone tweeted there was everybody that got an Apple tattoo that says Think different like that's Apple's slogan is think different. And it was like 40 people and they tagged me.


They're like, this is Aleah getting lame tattoos like that.


Let me see which one. But show me the lemon, Tamani.


Oh, so you know, you have a lame one like that. Lame. It's my least favorite to let me see. This one's lame, bro. Disciplined like the one we're talking about. Everybody likes discipline.


I don't know. And then what is this when you have Texas on your Bellaver.


I'm kidding. Come on, Belarusan. I you know, listen, I was on I was on the show. Listen, I was on this date with this girl and I was on a double date with Joe and analysts and my date's name was also Analise.


Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. What if you went home with the wrong Annalise's. I was.


That was a pretty crazy confusing. And just to show you just to preface this double date, you it wasn't a coincidence that her name was Analise. You found an analyst on Instagram and you dumped her and you said, can you go on a date with my other friend who is also named Annalise? Yeah. OK, so you looked you Cass this Annalise outcasted. OK, and then what happened?


So we were we were at dinner and Joe and his girlfriend were asking adolescent eye questions about, you know, like us. Right. Like what we have in common. Yeah. And like one of the questions was, what's your favorite movie? And at the same time, dad asks, we both said Emperor's New Wow, fucking insane.


Now, that's crazy. That's really crazy. That's what was your reaction like? We both, like, freaked out. We were like, what the fuck? You think she knew that that was your favorite movie?


Maybe. I don't know, because that's like that's that's fucking.


Yeah, I've never heard anybody in my life serious. I know. That's why that's why we got these tattoos.


So we got matching tattoos at a tattoo parlor that night. Oh you. Oh she got one. Yeah. Her first. I don't really know. She's she has tattoos.


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Yeah, the funniest fucking thing. I went over to Jason's house like, see, like what's so weird to watch the election. It was weird being at Jason's house. It was so nice to have you there to be here. It was nice. It's very comfortable house.


And Jason was texting Marnie, his ex-wife, and I could tell he was stressed out and I was like, what is she saying? And he goes, I just texted her, like, as a joke because after the election, he goes, Hey, who's winning? That's what he texted me. And she goes, I'm reading the text right now. She goes, Are you fucking with me? He goes, No. Well, I was just asking what you think.


How is it looking? She goes, I don't know. I just ordered their fucking food from speaking canceled immediately because it's a pickup. They're charging me the eight dollars for the order anyway, so I'm ready to start smashing things.


I suggest you stop texting me, bro. That's fucking crazy that she got like that for the fucking election that she got.


Then she called me later. I was upset about something and she ended it with.


She's like, I'm just tired to, you know, that I'm moving out of this fucking country. And I was like, OK, OK, I got you on this election night.


You made her sound like a man. I'm moving out of the fucking country. And I did and came out like that, came out very badly.


And then it was really funny because Marnie was fucking so pissed. And then Jason calls his daughter, who is like, what? Twelve years old. Thirteen years old. And it's just so funny because. Because you just see it. You see Charlie pick up and she's like, oh my God, she's freaking out right now. And it was like, so funny to see Jason have a conversation with this twelve year old daughter about how much mom was freaking out.


And Jay and Jason was like, yep, Charlie, it's all your fault. You shouldn't have campaigned so hard for Trump. Now he's going to win the election and you're Milingimbi. There's going to hate you forever.


And she was and then she was on Charlie about like posting late on election night on Tic-Tac. And she's like, oh, my folks are ten. They don't vote.


Guys, we have a special guest here on our podcast. It's Mr. Killinger. I just call him Jadot.


Now it's Come Kill Mr. Killinger. Sounds like some sort of English hit man. Yeah, he was an English hit man like you. You're waiting like he's my English teacher. Before we go anywhere, that's what I should say in high school.


What what year did you teach me your sophomore year? Holy shit. I was just a little baby my sophomore year. He taught me we bonded. He helped me cheat on tests. Is fucking crazy. Yeah. He would slip me. He would slip me answers. I was going to say helping cheat, like doesn't quite go far enough. Like I would just give you the answers.


Give me the answers. He'd fill it all out for me. Oh no, no, no. I'm just going to try to get him fired. Jo cut out the part where we say he didn't and just keep it make it seem like he's a bad man. No, I'm kidding. But but yeah. Killzone, he's visiting. Really exciting, so I want to bring them by, see if he has any high school memories we can unleash. I've got all kinds of high school memories.


I feel like most of my good stories about you now are post high school. Just in terms of those are a good story you have now.




Yeah, your life is insane right now, every day. But like in high school people, high school is so, so interesting. I know, but high school, you were just like, yeah. Oh, we do. We talk about this in the last podcast I took him to Chief Keeps House. I was doing this like I did a photo shoot for my friend Shelby and sending them a new brand coming out. And I took Hillinger to Chief Keefe's house.


And which is fucking really weird. It was like it's like first of all, I asked him to do it. I was surprised.


He said, yes, I was like, you mind coming to a little bit of both? So as a photo shoot actually keeps house, I've never met him before and she keeps a wrapper for those of you don't know. So I was like kind of nervous. I was like, oh, man. Like, what if I'm, like, not tough enough to be hanging out with him? I look like a little bitch. And I ask that, can you come with me?


She house for protection. I'm just so I feel safe. But no, we pull up to the house chief keeps was super nice, totally nice.


Like so nice like right off the gate.


Like he was really nice. He knew that we were both from Chicago so he said like Chicago boys which is really funny. I was reading through the comments of like the picture of me and him. And one of the comments is two very different parts of Chicago is really funny, but it was really funny because she keeps friend was there also. And while I was taking pictures with Keith Killinger, it was like talking up one of his friends and it was the fucking funniest thing.


It was like, yeah, it wasn't smooth. My my wife and I both were like trying to keep a conversation going. And it was just not like we didn't have anything to talk about. We kept trying. It was like, so where are you also from? Chicago is like, no, I'm from L.A.. Right, OK. Yeah, yeah. Like regrouping or like. And are you also a rapper? Like, well, we're like we're we're out.


Of course it was going way to do it.


It was the way I described it. It was like exactly like watching a Jason Bateman movie where Jason Bateman has to like smuggle drugs across from Mexico because his boss is making him and now he's, like, stuck talking to the cartel and he doesn't know how to make conversation, even though he's supposed to be the cool guy. Like, that's how it Killinger felt in that moment. Like, well, the setup was weird, too, because, again, it was Chief Keefe's first time meeting you and I were like, hey, I'm David.


This is my English teacher.


It's a really fucked up way to introduce that.


It wasn't like it wasn't a winning situation, but it turned out pretty fucking great. So I was very, very excited. Were you nervous?


You don't get nervous? I wouldn't say I was nervous. It was it was unusual. On our way over there, I was just fucking blasting all of music. And I was like, you don't know this one. And this is love. So I'm just like, no, no, I'm not familiar with this one, is it?


I was trying to pretend that it was because I quit teaching. And so, like, the kids aren't keeping me hip anymore. I'm like, no, David, like, I'm sure I would've known the song. Like, his kids told me stuff. And he was like, no, no. This definitely came out when you were still OK. But yeah, I have no idea.


I was like, oh, this is definitely poppin. When you were like a teacher, this is what everybody was listening to other teachers talk shit about.


David Yeah. For sure.


Like, oh, which one? I'm not going to say, oh, they're still teaching. You can't say yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. I can't be like oh this one like namedrop but you know I know one. Yeah. I'm going to say right now we'll take it up. Well let's change his name to Mr. Marco. OK, Mr. Marco. What would he say. So I mean Mr. Marco like I would be sitting in the teacher's workroom and he would come up to me and be like, what the fuck is up with this kid?


I swear to God, bullshit, swear to God bullshit. Because they knew that that you and I like I don't know if they saw us in the hallways talking or what, but like, they knew that we were friends, other teachers, I would say two to three other teachers would come up to me between your junior and senior year, like after every time you want to swear to God and to God, they would come up to me and be like, you're like, what the fuck do I do with this David kid?


Like, he's I don't he doesn't do a goddamn thing like that.


No, it wasn't like you were misbehaving, but you wouldn't do the work really. I and it was like it was like a defiance thing too. I could have I could have said like, hey, make a four minute video with your friends, like about English and you'd be like, fuck that, I'm not I'm going to do the exact opposite of that. Like, you never did the stuff that I just never did.


Well, the things I didn't do, I just didn't seem like a point to like I just I've never, never felt it necessary to do anything that wasn't going to, like, further my like whatever I wanted to do. So that's why I would always copy and cheat, because, like, I knew that I never wanted to have anything to do with trigonometry or chemistry. So I'm like, I can totally cheat in this class and it won't affect the rest of my life at all.


And I honestly feel like that's part of why you and I got along so well, because I'm the exact opposite. But I admire that sort of mindset. I'm a rule follower and I will fucking if I want to do something, I will read 15 books about it before I even try it.


I will like if anybody in any position of authority is like, tell me that, like do this or X, Y or Z. I'm like, yes. Or you know, of course, of course I don't question whether or not it's good for or whether it's useful for me. And you are the exact opposite. And I was like this kid. I'm the type of guy that goes to somebody like you who has read fifteen books of something. I just ask him and just and answer like a lot quicker.


Right. Which which has led to some pretty funny like FaceTime calls over the last few years. It's like if it's like 1:00 in the morning and you'll FaceTime me like KJU, I don't know about this. And can you give me more specifics on how he was talking? Yeah, because it was always about I mean, so they would definitely talk to Mr. Marco.


And I just to be fair, we were very like we were very polar opposites.


He was like the artsy like like loves literature, loves character work.


Like I don't I don't not expect. How do you how to explain. So he and I even had like really different teaching styles in that I loved, like talking about personal stuff, like with with kids just like to connect with him. And he was like all business. He just like wanted to do the school work because when he was a student, he's like, I fucking hate it when teachers would like try to get to be my friend. Like, I just wanted to do the work.


And so that was his teaching style. He was like, sit down, let's fucking get through this. Like, we can have fun while we're doing it, but not if that's going to be the plan.


Yeah. So me and him were totally opposed to it. And I remember one day in class I said this on podcast. I don't remember how exactly he said it because I don't remember it as well.


But he was like, I don't know if this was him, but he's like, You're not funny, David, or something like that. Like it was it was to those words, which is like the worst thing to tell. Like, yeah, he was like, you're not funny, David.


Like no one here, no one here is laughing. No one thinks you're funny. That's what he said to me.


And I remember he said this in front of the class, like in front of everybody like and he said it will look.


And I and I was very like in school, I became very cautious about like being obnoxious and blurting things out. Like there are definitely like some kids I would like blurt more things out. But like I was very careful. Like I was like, I'm, I try to keep to myself and only like hit when the funny moments are really they're like, I'm really not going to try to talk. And this is like really important because I've learned so many of my other friends have been embarrassed by teachers in that same regard.


Like so many of my friends were obnoxious and the teacher was like, you're being annoying. Everyone finds you annoying right now. And like that taught me a lesson. I was like, fuck, I got to, like, hold back. And this time I was talking to somebody like my neighbor in my chair. And Mr. Marko was like setting up the class or whatever. And like, I was just talking with me and me and this person, like, laughing to each other.


And that's when he called me out. And he's like, you're not funny.


And it wasn't even a comment I made to the entire class. It was I was just having a conversation with this one person.


It was something you did earlier that he was ready to pounce. Yeah.


So I was like, fuck. And dude, when a teacher calls you out like that in the fucking middle class, it's fucking that's like traumatizing. It's like something that you remember for the rest of your life. And I do.


But what what else did he say? So I mean, that was a thing.


Was that like he didn't the crazy thing is he didn't like dislike. You know, I don't do it.


He felt like man, no, let me actually change change I brought back because he definitely didn't like you.


But he also, like, recognized the thing that annoyed him about you was that, like, he saw potential. No, he didn't. I swear to God, I don't know, dude. I know his exact words again, like when he would come up to me, be like, what the fuck is up with? He would be like, he won't do the things I sign. And it pisses me off because he's not stupid. Like, if he was stupid, like I I've taught stupid kids I can deal with stupid, but he's not stupid and he's not doing the work.


And that's what pissed him off about you. And I mean I had no advice.


I'm like, well yeah, he didn't do the work for me either, but I just didn't care that would that would annoy me to the most for sure if I was like, wasted potential. Yeah. If he saw somebody that like was good and they weren't totally. Why the fuck am I here exactly. My training that would drive me nuts. Yeah. I don't know.


But but also to be fair I was never like, fuck you teacher, I'm not doing this. Oh no, no, no, no. That was never your attitude.


It was just like, yeah, I didn't it was like it was like if you were like if you were like, OK, guys read pages three to ten right now and highlight your favorite parts, like, then I would obviously not be reading and highlighting my favorite parts. I'd be OK.


I put my I put I put my phone in my book and I just like go through it like but like if it was like an essay like I would still get I wouldn't. Yeah. Yeah that's right. I wouldn't like come in and be like fuck you, I'm not turning in. I turned in everything but it was like whether or not it was my work is the question or whether or not like I don't know if like if it's a big semester project, I would always, always do it.


I never cheated.


No, no. I know that. Easy to cheat when I went to school. Yeah, I cheated one time in fourth grade.


We had like fourth grade. Fourth grade.


We had little actually I'm taking this back to because now I'm remembering like copying people's math homework in the hallway in high school as well. But the one thing that, like, stopped me from cheating, like in class was this girl across like my little table. We're working on a math test. And if you got all four math problems right, then you would go to the board and show everybody how you did them. And I cheated on, like, one of the four questions and got that right.


And then and then when after the teacher graded it, she was like, all right, Jeff got them. All right. So, Jeff, go up to the board and you did it.


And I was like, oh, my God, I was I'd question three like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Oh, God. Look at the part. Like, I don't fucking remember. I didn't do this. Like, oh, fuck that.


That was it. No, I just like you said, you forgot. I think she could tell. I was like, panicking.


And she was like, oh, he just doesn't remember but knows that would make me so fucking stressed. You know, there were any sexual tension between teachers.


Know how I will say there wasn't any when I was teaching.


But between the students and the teachers know Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, come on. But happened for for a further background, though, like I attended Vernon Hills High School, like I was a student there. As well, right, right. And when I was a student, it was a brand new high school, like they had just opened up and so they needed to fill this whole building with teachers. And so every person they hired was like a brand new fresh out of college teacher.


And so it was like the building was run by 22 to 24 year olds.




Like the stories that I heard. I like it so much.


The stories that I heard from teachers who are like, you know, in their 40s when I started working there, who were in their 20s when I was a student, were like, oh, my God, this place was fucking lawless. Like, it was just crazy. We were all getting hammered.


Like Woodstock. Yeah, totally. Wow.


They were like all rolling in hungover all the time because it was like like 50 to 100, 23 year old teachers like that. Sounds like a dream, right? Totally.


I'm like, man, I which I was older. I started here when things were crazy.


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Yeah, definitely so it was both rewarding and also I don't know what the opposite of rewarding is in terms of like the one of the moralizing.


Yeah, it was kind of because a lot of people say that, well, I quit for I quit teaching for a lot of reasons. But one of them was like watching students like you like go and do crazy wild things and like taking different careers into different paths. And I was always like I was just kind of like, look around and be like all the kids that I like are gone now because from my graduation every year they're all off doing a ton of different cool things.


And I'm just going to work in this building for 30 years and then retire.


And that's my life like I couldn't otherwise.


Yeah, like there is there is no change, especially like I taught the same classes over and over. And so for like six years in a row, I taught the same classes. I'm like, so what? I got 25 more of this year just on repeat and that's my life. Yeah. So I was that was one of the majors you ever go into like like your first year.


You probably loved all the kids, right. Like your first year that you taught. Yeah. Were you ever like, fuck this is it. Like I'm never going to be able to like kids more than this. And then every year you'd be surprised by how much you like the kids again, how it would like ebb and flow.


There were some years where, like, kids are super annoying. Was there ever a year where you were like, dude, this is like really like I don't even like this at all. Like, these kids suck, young man.


So I always liked individual kids even when they were annoying as a class. So like there were some classes where it'd be like ten kids in the class were best friends, so they like would not shut the fuck up. And there were sometimes like four. As much as I don't think you ever saw me like really fucking lose it on a class. But there were a couple of classes where I was like like I was like fucking exploding. Like I would just scream, which is so out of character for me.


Like other students, when they hear that they're like, I they can't even picture it. I would lose my shit if I would like ask for them to do something simple. One girl reminded me on Facebook earlier, like she commented on some post about how I like fucking scream to kids because I said for a whole week, I'm like a Friday. Just bring a bring a book, bring a book to read. You're just going to be reading a book in class.


That's all I'm asking you to do. And I told them every day, Monday through Thursday, I'm like, I swear to God, Friday, just bring a book, everything to be great. You'll just read. And then Friday came in like fifteen of the twenty eight kids didn't have books. And it's like a simple thing. I could've just been like, God damn it, like written in the past. Go get it, go to the library, get a book.


But I spent like a good ten minutes top of my lungs.


Like I asked you to do one fucking thing. You guys don't respect me. You would have brought a fucking book if you gave a shit about anything.


I just completely lost my shit.


But the thing that she reminded me of was that you kept the past that I wrote when I eventually did let them go to the library because where it says, like student's name, I just wrote a bunch of kids I'm pissed at and I gave that to them to like, show the why are you literally wrote a bunch of little pissed that, like, who's going like who's this past for a bunch of kids. I'm pissed the fuck out of here.


That's so funny. Do you ever do you ever sit two kids next to each other because, you know, they had a crush on each other?


No, I would try to talk about that.


And I was like, curious if teachers did that know that never that never occurred to me. I for as much as I feel like I knew the kids, I could not comprehend when they were friends or if they are like, who is popular or not.


Like, I know you didn't know that. Who was popular? No, Peccerelli was popular. I mean, it's like so I mean, OK, so I'm pretty Lawlis was popular. Sure. I mean, I like it. I mean, we do like stereotypical like football and cheerleading and stuff, but it just I liked all the kids individually, personally. So I'm like, oh, they're all friends.


It's like when I look at my son and I can't understand it, he's a loser or not. Oh, let me help you.


So what's the craziest thing you've ever seen a teacher say or do or another student say or do? What's like the thing where you're like, whoa, I get in trouble for even seeing this?


Oh, man. So this is actually when I was a student at Vernon Hills High School. Yeah. And I can't say the name of the teacher because this teacher's like too important in the school at this point to be like outed in doing this.


But there was one time where when I was a student, this kid, it was like kind of talking shit to the teacher. He had just won some, like wrestling tournament at like 103 pounds or something. He was like a really small kid, but he was a great wrestler. And the teacher was like two hundred pounds like like kind of a big, strong dude. And this kid came in talking about his wrestling tournament. He's like, oh, like, you know, I can take anybody.


And he looks at the teacher. He's like, I can, I can take you like like yeah I'll I'll see you right now. The teacher's like. All right, let's do it and like pushed all the desks out of the way and everyone's like wide eyed, like, oh my God, oh my God is going to.


And they fucking wrestled in the middle of the classroom and the teacher beat the shit out of this because he wait until he was like, he's like fucking grown man. It's like you can be the strongest child in the world. And like an adult man, will just ripped to shreds and he just destroyed him. And there was like they had like each other, like drool and shit on their shirts, like they were really fucking like in there. And you're rolling around.


And then afterwards, like they got up and the teacher's like, none of you can ever say anything about this to anybody. I swear to God I will lose my job. Oh, my God, what did I do? And we were like, we all love the teachers who are like him. And that's that's cool because you guys keep it a secret or was it was a pass around. It was. I'm sure it was passed.


It was passed around to like other students who had that teacher just because, like, you would not fucking believe what I saw. Fourth period. But but I think other people tried to, like, keep it under wraps because we didn't want them to get really funny, which, I mean, in today's day and age, like he had been fired in like five minutes after class, like somebody would've had a video and he would've been out the door.


And now he's like, he's still there. Is this young still married? Yeah.


I regret to inform you that she's happily married to three children, but I don't think you've got to.


And you've you've got to you know, I actually got you the last time I saw her was like, first of all, hold on, hold on, hold on.


Let me go back to sleep. Miss Yang was a teacher. I had she was also an English teacher. Yeah, I know what it is about English, but she was pregnant and I don't know what it is. But when she was, like, pregnant, I fell in love with it.


I don't know what it was about her having a baby bump or her carrying another human, but I was like, this woman is gorgeous. This is the she was glowing. That's what it was. She was like, when you're pregnant, you go, oh, is that like a thing? Yeah, yeah. She's like, fucking glowing. And I was like, this woman's fucking skeleton.


And I was I don't know, I was just so into her and and yeah, this was like definitely teach. I was like, I really wanna get in trouble by her so she can talk to me later.


What? You told her that I liked her. I did. I did.


I swear to God because I saw her at like a school musical or like a orcas dance or something like two or three days after I hung out with you once when you were in Chicago. And it was actually the first time that you told me that you liked her, like you were like you had said, like that exact same thing, like, what's up with Miss Young? What's wrong with you? Do when I saw her, like a few days later, I was like, yeah, David was was asking about you.


I said I told him that he didn't have a chance. And she's like, yep, yep, nope. No chance. Everything's good. Yeah. It was pretty funny.


So no chance at all. Yeah. I mean she's she wasn't like, hey, no, no, she didn't like leave any like room and no breadcrumbs like. Right. It was, it wasn't like well things are good now but maybe in a few years like there's nothing like. How does she say it though. You got to walk me through you. David used to be interesting. She went no way.


You say used to be interested is if you had a chance when you were a student or something right away.


But no, I said I said I like I just saw David break like three days ago. And he said, like, how much he had a crush on you when he was a student. He was like, oh, no way. I was like he was like trying to angle me, like, seen if you had a chance. And she's like, oh, no.


Oh, fuck. So we'll try. Who knows. We can always check back in a couple of years.


We had a couple of years. Yeah. She's still teaching. I know. I may go back to teaching. Go back to teaching like I have been teaching. I've been a teacher my past life I guess.


Well that's all the time. I have today's podcast.


Thank you guys for listening. Thank you, Mr. Killinger, for joining us. For part of it, you're the best. And Jason, thank you for joining me.


I guess. I don't know. It's always fun to be here.


It's whatever it's like the best videos coming out if you want to watch it.


He's making beef. Yeah, I'm making a beef sandwich that's roast. No, it's a really funny video where we all roast each other. It was fun. Go watch it. We'll see you guys later. I go by my merch, actually, now that we're here. Go buy my perfume. OK, we'll see us later.


My name is Jeff.