Telling Best Friend She Cheated
VIEWS with David Dobrik and Jason Nash- 1,118 views
- 8 Sep 2020
Jason confronts David about his streaming, Ilya beats David in a mile race, and David tells Jason what will happen to him on his deathbed. Also David reveals one of the times he cried over his best friends girlfriend cheating on him.
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It took us a while back to views, Jack, I should say, this will grab the Berkowitz's or yeah, the other day we got Illia shoes that make him taller. Yeah.
And all the girls, all the girls in the house, Alan Taylor, Natalie, were like, oh, my God, you look fucking stunning like everybody. And it was like feeling himself went up to the mirror and he was like, so happy to finally not be five foot six and fucking. He was ecstatic because, you know, he's tiny and and and then he took them off and he was like, guys, it wasn't real.
Like it wasn't real. It was just temporary. What were they lifts. Yeah. Like platform shoes.
It's like imagine you get Dr. Sholes times eight and you put them in your. Yeah, it looked like he had heels on.
This is the craziest joke that you have just stretched so far. Yeah. Dude is a fucking inch shorter than you know. It is the craziest. And this is the kind of Wave Hill like a tweet. He like that tweet once of me with the cat, with the milk on his face.
I still I still get I literally came in here that one time and he goes, j I'm sorry man.
He's like, but I hear about that. Yeah. Can I see it again so far as a picture of his cat with milk all over the place, it was just looks so gross and someone tweeted that they're like doesn't does this look like the old guy from David's blog. And I liked it, like knowing that it would do a lot better after I hit, like, on it, I ended up getting like eighty six thousand likes really fight eighty six thousand.
I still get DMS to this day. I was like.
Here's what happened the other day. Let's talk about this. What is your best my all time, Illia, that you told me about, oh, six 05, 06, 05. Right. So I ran the mile and I was like, he told me six or five. And I go, I'm going to fucking beat them.
What time at night was this? This is like a 10:00 or 11:00 at 10:00 at night to run a that's when I run. Oh, I usually run really late.
So it was totally 06, 05. So I was like, OK, I'm going to go beat the time. So the next morning I come and I show him the time and I go, check this out motherfucker. Five fifty eight. And so I beat his time, beat him by seven seconds and you could just see his face freeze. His face is like, well where did you run, where's your arm. And I was like I just ran right out the door.
So to be fair, there's a little bit of an incline you're going downhill for like point three of the miles. Yeah. So, like, you get, you know, that's that's why there's so much speed.
But it was like, where did you run it? And then I told him I was like I ran outside the door and I ran to like the at the restaurant on the street.
And he goes, OK. And he fucking left. You did it. Yeah. And he go he went to run it himself.
And then and then he came back and he's like five thirty six thirty six suck my dick.
And then I was like oh I could beat that and keep beating that. I mean that night like 11:00 p.m. I went out, I ran the same day.
Yeah. Same, the same night. Same night I ran and I, and I got five, twenty eight you know, and I destroyed his fucking little pussy ass and then he goes well I'm going, I'm going to try to beat you tomorrow and you know what he fucking does.
You won't believe the shit he planned to run the next morning but in order he wanted to make sure he got the proper rest. Yeah. So at eight p.m. he left my house and he got a hotel room.
So, so, so he was well rested. So he was well rested for the next morning.
And I was like and and I was fully convinced I was like bad shit and I was fully convinced, I was fully conscious.
I'm like, oh, he's he must be sleeping with a girl or he has like a girl that's coming over. He doesn't want her to come here because he lives in the middle room in the house, which is basically live in a glass box, which everybody would fucking hear him.
Yeah. So I was like, OK, he's hooking up with a girl. And then this morning I asked him was like I was like, how'd you hook up with? And he's like, dead ass. I didn't like I was literally just fucking resting. And this morning he got a five twenty three and he beat me. Wow. Currently he's in the lead.
Where's the turnaround exactly. What are you guys doing. The exact. You have to touch it out and come back. No you don't come back.
It's just on our watch just to get to stop. Yeah. When you get to start it's a mile like right when you right when you run past it, it's a full mile and it's a full on sprint the entire time. It's really fucking deadly. You like die right after you die. Yeah.
It's a really dangerous actually for him and I because like we're not you know, we're definitely not built for it, you know, to do that. Yeah. You really put like every ounce of energy you have in your entire body.
And then when you get to the finish line, you just collapse. Really just collapse. Yeah, it's that. Yeah. And it's all mental too, because it's just like it's like I hate I hate this work. It's so cliche but it's little channeling like every energy for everything you do just into that moment. Yeah. Like it's like, it's like you know when you're in a rocket ship you've never been in a rocket, you're probably neither have I.
I like going for JetBlue.
Yeah. When you need it, when you need to take off and they don't have much battery left so they're like, OK, cut the refrigerator, cut the air conditioning, move all the power to the thrust, to the thrusters. That's what it's like running. That's what it's like running a mile.
This story is is like the story that girls probably hate or like, wow, guys are so fucking dumb. Yeah. Yeah.
It's the kind of thing that like I think it's hilarious. Well I think doing nothing for right now, I think going to a hotel so stupid you should've stayed here. Honestly, it takes a lot more energy to go to hotel, check in it. He has process. Hear me out first.
OK, go. OK, the reason I went to the hotel room so I can have a controlled environment, your dumb ass screaming until two a.m. on fucking call of duty.
And so I have a fucking cold room.
That's what I, that's why I did it. I go there because I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to go to bed early.
That doesn't make sense. Right.
Also because I literally makes total sense, because when you're around, when you're around, you have to control every fucking moment and every one to wake him up.
Every yeah. There would have been some bullshit like yo. Oh I think I hear somebody outside and then he's not, you know, at like 2:00 in the morning. What do you really need you for stuff.
Right. Like protecting him then.
He's nice. You guys are being a real dramatic.
And the funny thing is last night was one of the only nights in this week that all of us like left are like 10 p.m. and like David was asleep. We're all into bed early and we're like, fucking went to the hotel, slept worse than anybody here. Yeah.
That's why I didn't get to the fucking AC unit, barely fucking worked making this loud noise until like 2:00 a.m. and I fucking got up and I finally figured it out. Yeah. I mean I really didn't go to bed too. I wish I knew what you are and I just kept knocking on your door. Was one of the maids room service.
He literally just bought an AC unit for his room to get colder and he was bragging about it.
You know, he's an idiot.
Stop calling me a fucking idiot. You're getting sleep. It's stupid, not dumb. Yes, it is. No, honestly, if the fucking hotel room had proper AC, it would have been a good move on top of that. On top of that, beat your time, dumb fuck. So whatever I did. Fuck you. Wow.
Have you ever cried during sex before? No. Have I ever. Good question, Jay. Yeah, I have a couple of times. Have you ever cried a lot. Yeah.
We really cut this up. Where did he take it or do we know that.
I just thought, well you've got high questions, huh. Once know someone, just text me a bunch of bad. Someone just texted me or someone just said, please talk about more sex and they ask me about the sex questions. Wait, why did you cry during sex? Because it was really bad. What do you mean you're crying that like it was so bad?
No, it was like really bad. I didn't know how to get out of it.
And so I like, pushed him off because it was so bad. And then I had to start to pretend to cry so that I could blame it on him not being bad, but like something about me. And I was like, I'm not over my ex, but it was just that it was the worst sex I've ever had in my life.
What makes it so curious? What's bad sex? It was just I'm sure I've had it just no one's told me you're having it constantly.
Yeah. It was just terrible. Like what? Like what. But when you push your. But when you push them off, you stopped. Yeah, but he was like, oh, what's wrong, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't think I'm moving my eggs, OK, because I didn't know how to, like, why was so bad.
But when he pushed you off, he stopped. Yeah. Oh, OK. I was a six, but I wasn't that time of said you're just trying to get out.
I was trying to get out of it. Right. But technically I cried. I mean, you never cried. Yeah. That's why that's why I've always I've always like I've heard that question a lot during sex. I didn't really know what that meant. Like I have, like, emotionally cried ones.
Like you just love it. Get the fuck out of here. What you having sex. You're like, this is so amazing. You start crying. Kind of what it was like making love, there's a difference. What the fuck were you having sex with? I know used to talking about, OK, you know, there's a difference between having sex and, like, making love, quote unquote. I can't tell the difference. So, like, if you're very in love with someone and you're like, oh, sure.
Oh, it's like to me it's slow, it's not fast. It's like very intimate.
It's all right. Yeah, 100 percent. Yeah. And then in that you're just like you're so happy and then it's great. It's love.
And you like Teresa, you teared up because it was so great and you were so in love. Yeah. That's beautiful. I have a real question and I want everyone's 100 percent of course is a real honest answer. And that goes for Taylor and Ella. And I'm obviously Iliya when I ask my question, you know, you're not getting a vote. Oh, boy. I want everybody to be 100 percent honest.
Oh, Jesus. And I demand honesty. And you know what? I'm not going to take whatever your answer is. I'm not going to think any less of you before you say just remember that you took a big ass hit a weed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me go out on a fucking limb here, because I got something to say.
You guys know what I'm going to say?
Boy, who here of the four of us hates the motherfucking stream. Who hates that? David streamy, damn it.
Yeah. No, wait. What a strange question. I said you are so high. I hate that you play Call of Duty. I hate it. I understood. I was convinced she was going to go. Brohm, who have you guys thinks that I'm bad at sex. Yeah, something was wrong about David. Like fucking like a bad call. I'm sorry I'm high bro. That was that question was so bad. That was the worst. You did just answer.
No, that's a good joke, Jay. That's go on the worst podcast moments of all time. We're talking about Ellen crying during sex. And I have something to say. I have something to say. I know you've been through it. So why should we call duty Jason?
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It's crazy that lines are a thing and how people like follow the rules of a line. So you mean like on the road? No, like like to the DMV, like for example.
Oh that I, I think lines on a road are even crazier.
It's just the line though. Like who says I was here first.
You know, I'm saying I like when we talk about like real cool stuff like that, you know, provokes thinking, but some of the shit that comes to your mind is the dumbest fucking things. I wasn't so dumb. That was the dumbest. How dumb was that? That was really dumb. So you should have his own podcast about dumb facts. So he talks about fucking red lights, lines.
Where does shit should be called five foot eight in a tiny brain today in the case I'm texting and Jay Leno keeps on taking us in the group chat when he finds out that celebrities are under five eight. So today he takes us and he goes, guys can use five, eight. And so in response, he looks way shorter. He does, though. I didn't think it was really.
Joe, that part of it. Joe, that part I asked about, about the line. Can you cut that out, Joe? Keep that in, Joe. Do not touch that. I'm coming to realize that it was a very simple question.
So who have you guys had human resource meetings?
I don't look at Taylor that way. Oh, yeah. David and I had one today, actually. But what would you say about Labor Day? Oh, yeah. OK, let's bring it up. Do we have it off. Yeah. You have Labor Day off.
You got you sitting on a fucking podcast. Put them on the spot. Of course, I'm a nice guy.
I mean, of course you guys have weekends and Labor Day always had a question. Do you have any day off you want? Any time you can leave here whenever you want there.
You really need to start leaving later. You're leaving too early, leaving at four o'clock early. And I want to go look at a car.
Yeah, I guess we met Jason. Do know better. One of the workers names was EYLEA. Oh yeah. And the guy goes and the guy goes, the guy goes, hey, what's your name. I'm like, David. What's your name? It was Ilya, and he goes, no shit, because I've never met I've never met another Alio my entire life. Wow, what a fucking moment. And we met out a fucking insane was sure to meet.
Now, he was a tall failure.
His evil brother. Oh, yeah.
How do we kill him? Because I'm going to kill him like I don't remember.
Where were you, a bad kid in school. Would you get detention all the time? No. Really? Yeah. Why? What happened to you? You got detention? My first day of high school. For what?
So we were you know what works? Bombs are. Oh yeah. So like you put this like works like chlorine fucking chemical thing or whatever you use to clean toilets. Yeah. Into a bottle. And you add tinfoil into that bottle and you shake it up or whatever the chemical reaction is and it blows up.
And so my friends, like prior to the first day of high school, were making these works bombs not to like hurt anybody, but just because we like blowing shit up.
Right. Right.
And so I'm talking to my friend in the hallway like this is like the first hour of high school, like we're not even at our first period yet. So everybody knew, like no one else is going on.
I'm talking to my friend and I'm like I'm talking to him like openly about this works.
But I'm like, yeah, we need to do it again, like year and has I'm saying that, like, the security like patrol person that like walks the halls overhears me Tina.
No, not Tina. The other one. Oh oh. The Minar on the shorter hair.
Yeah. Yeah. Because what did you say. And I open they go oh I worked bomb.
And so like I'm like explaining it to her like not thinking it like anything of it. Right.
Because like I fucking did this shit four days ago out of school. What is she going to do. Oh works fine.
And and so I get brought into the dean's office and I get detention like for fucking doing that like but what was I feel like a day of detention was really weird.
I feel like for just talking about a worse bomb or I feel like you should either get suspended for talking about a bomb or they should just be.
I don't talk about well I was I was so open about it that they were like genuinely like, OK, well, definitely not trying to hurt anybody because he's talking about it.
Like, it's like I gave you detention for something you did outside of school. Yeah, our school was like that, right? Oh, yeah.
I mean, our schools all the time. Like I got like I can't do that. What do you mean. I mean that's what they can do that whatever it was going to mean to your sister, stay after school.
I mean, that's crazy. Yeah.
But what is it going to march in and are you still talking about a bomb in school. Right.
And I like showing videos that he left that out his videos too and had a baby bomb I set off and literacy class. Yeah. I thought I was just really funny, like before I even started first period.
I already had the attention the first day of high school. Yeah, it was we were our school, our schools, our schools. Very tough because on one side we had cool teachers and on the other we had the strictest like faculty like in the in the offices. So it's really hard to balance where you can say certain things and where you can like some teachers, you could really talk about fucking having sex and hanging out, doing drugs, you know, like all kinds of stuff.
But like and then there were other teachers that were like, you know, you could talk about a bomb you did three days ago and you got in trouble in high school.
Cool. Because when you're a freshman, you can't really talk about the same things that you talk about when you're senior. Right. So, like, you can't talk about sex.
I love I love high school because I love high school for the reason. Because because freshman's like everybody is a freshman. Everybody knows their place. Like no matter who you are, like you're still a freshman and like the entire school knows that sophomore year, like it's cool. But the seniors and the juniors hate them because they think they're hot shit just because they were there for another year. Juniors, whatever respect seniors obviously are the top dogs like. I think it's so cool.
I think it's so fucking cool how those like this like system in school, you feel like you're like earn your way up. Yeah. To become like the top dog. It's kind of like it's kind of like a big fraternity. It's like it takes forever to write. It does. But it's like it's. But you learn something every year. Right. Right. You learn like every parts of every part of the system. It's it's like going from, you know, being the janitor to being the CEO of the company.
Like you learn every aspect of that company. I think that's what's so cool because you learn different social skills every year, like being the coolest, being the fucking biggest loser. Like it's all that it's about.
I couldn't wait to be a senior. And then when we became seniors, we were like, so stoked. But the class underneath us was way cooler. So they started just like blowing it out like crazy. Right. Did the juniors are like, well, the jurors are pretty cool, you know, what's the worst?
Imagine all the kids that were going in the senior year this year and their fucking school is all online. Yeah, this is like this. You will never, ever, ever I'm sorry responsible, but you will never, ever, ever, ever have a time like your senior year. You will never, ever have like a moment like that ever again. OK, isn't that great? No. I mean it is it really is like well maybe don't say that, but like to miss out on a fucking blows.
It's like I feel so bad for those kids, especially the fucking college kids. Like it's just like, like that sucks. Those are supposed to be like such cool moments of your life and it's like you'll never get it back. Being part of a club or a team and I don't know, I had a little cry, I would cry, I feel so bad for I was doing, I assume, the other day with college kids. And I was like talking to them and asking them.
And they're not doing anything right.
They're just like they literally came to play bingo with me, which the woman was like, well, was like she's like, I'm going to have you do bingo.
And I was like, OK, like, are you sure? She's like she's like, trust me, they fucking love it. Yeah. It's like I've done it with a bunch of schools and the kids love bingo. Yeah. I've done some college shows to do bingo. I don't have a gun that low like but like I've done college shows and I got like I talked to the moderators before and I go like this is I feel like this is going to be pretty fucking boring.
Like I'm on Zoome like talking like why don't you watch my videos. Like it's the same thing but even more fun and they're like no trust me, these kids right now have nothing. Yeah. Like that's how they talk about the kids. Like there's nothing going on here. Yeah. It is so boring. Like just say honestly talk about, talk about your morning routine. No one, you know you will be so excited just to hear somebody else.
Yeah. You should have seen them playing bingo. They're like they're going apeshit. Yeah. Yeah. I was like they were all on drugs or something like that.
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Again, that's better help help dotcom views. So Reggie's gay, right? Yeah, yes, talk about sex, they know. So this is this is this is a really interesting he's on this app called Grinder and like Grindr is like the Tinder, the bumble, the right of of gay men, as in women.
Is it is it women or is it just for guys.
It's just for guys or it's for guys or transgender. OK, so really matter.
But this I was going through his fucking messages yesterday and the entire app in general, it is fucking insane.
It's nothing like Anita Taylor's phone. I went through all your messages. I think it's like you let me you stay right there.
Why does Taylor Grinder OK, everybody anyone here works for Grindr Corporation on bended knee, banned on his own.
So it's banned on my iCloud and phone number. OK, so listen, I was reading I was reading these messages and it's not like it's not at all like pickup lines.
It's explain it.
It's strictly straight forward. Just it's not straight. It's hooking up. And it's like it's like Reggie. Reggie will go. Reggie will go. Do you have a picture of your dick? And they'll send three pictures of their dick and then they'll respond. Do you picture of booty?
And then Reggie will send a picture of booty like I fucking know, like you don't have no idea. Like it's that fast. And I was going I was looking at Reggie Gryner yesterday and all the messages went out at three thirty in the morning. He sent out a group of like seven of them. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. At three thirty in the morning, it's fucking crazy. Like it's not even like and there's no small talk.
And then you went to one yesterday, right. Yeah.
And it was like a straight up. I'm telling you, it's a dick appointment, like as if you were going to the doctor and the guy was like, OK, pull your pants, silence, do it.
It's like that just makes so much more sense than the other way. It makes all the time you waste on a dating app where you're like, but I feel like, hey, how are you.
Right, right. Right. But I feel just like a lot of that's just how guys are. Like, they're just horny, like constantly. So I think this works perfectly and it's like the perfect. But it's fucking insane. It's like right to the point. And he went to one yesterday. Yes. Like three thirty in the morning and he came back like four and we were like, what the fuck. And he's like, he's like, yeah, I just he was not like the pictures at all.
So I just, I left. I was just crazy. So he showed up. He was there for like three minutes and he went, I have to go home. And the guy was just like, OK, like because he was not feeling him like he didn't even have to go through, like, that awkward dating thing, like where he's like still feeling like, you know, like when you hang out with the girl and she's not like she is like on the Internet you're like, OK, well I can't be rude.
I should still like, hang out with her for like an hour to Rugy. Like the Grindr culture I guess is so different. We're just like peace. You don't look like you don't look like you're on the pictures. I'm good. I'm going to go have sex with somebody else.
What did he look like. OK, he. He didn't send me a picture that's fucking crazy. Were just do you have a penis? The guy's like, yeah, it's like he's like, OK, I'll be there. Like, I fucking didn't even send him a picture. You just had a profile picture yesterday.
You're not a slut. No, but like not having action for like a long period of time.
Four days is rough. Four days. I don't know.
No more like four months. Oh yeah. So he sent a picture of his dick. And so you're saying he didn't look like the pictures. He sent you a picture. He was you. He was very discreet. So he only sent a picture like neck down.
Oh yeah. A lot of them do neck down because they probably want the girlfriends to know. Right. So some people are like that.
Right. Right, right. And you ever had that you had something. I have. I have. I can't like say anything about it. Reggie's hooked up with a dad before. No, no, not a dad, a daddy. I didn't like hook up with like a dad, but like I've seen my friends' dads there. That's crazy. Seeing your friend's dads wear Grindr.
Oh, you've seen your friend's dads on Grindr, bro.
The app is nothing like like it's just like Tinder. Right. But just with dudes. Like, it looks like it, right? No.
Oh, Tinder has like like it's a picture in front of your college, like you're anything like Tinder, your strategically placing these pictures. I'm like, hey, look, I'm an outdoorsy type. I like fishing. I've been to Burning Man, The Burning Man.
But grinder's like this is this is the this is how I look from the neck down. Yeah. And that's all it is. And some people's profile pictures.
No face. It's literally only bodies. Yes. It's such an interesting world. I've never seen anything like it. And it's Reges like it's like he's grocery shopping. It's literally like that. It's like, OK, I'm going to fuck this thing today and I'm going to fuck this guy. Well, because you don't see the person really just see bodies. It's just. But it's fucking insane. I had no idea it was like that.
So I got an account and know. But it is it is it's crazy that I just saying it's because I had no idea that that's how things worked.
This is just my experience.
But like being gay, like you don't have like that high school sweetheart or like you don't have like that relationship with someone else that you could experiment with, you know, but now in our generation are like nowadays I feel like we just rely on sex because like sex is like what we missed out during our whole life and not experiencing that with someone else.
So would you rather have sex a lot or would you rather like an intimate relationship with someone intimate? Yeah, because I've never had that. Wow. Even like looking at the wrong place. Yeah, no, like I know I love refiring love. I mean, I'm only here for a short time.
Not often.
Well Reggie asked me to have sex the other day. No he walked in my office is like what are you doing. I'm like I'm like working. Yeah. You want to have sex.
What did you say. I was like, oh I don't have a condom right now.
But wait, wait, wait.
What happened? Is this seriously? Because you talked about this for a second. No, no, seriously. Oh. Did you try to convince, you know. Oh well kind of.
I he's like, well OK, I have one OK. Or David or EYLEA.
Oh we talked about this. Um, we did. Feel like Ilya's more urges type, who's more your type, a body type? Oh yeah. Oh I see. He told me I was ah you were here but like, I like a pretty boy face like David.
Wow. Thank you boy.
But Knock-down down. No, no. Hey I really I, I'm sorry Illia, but I told you Reggie.
What the fuck.
What about like Todd and Jeff. You think Ilya's higher than Todd or Jeff.
What's your words or what. No, this is Jeff. I'm asking Reggie.
What compared to David, no one in this room is hotter than Todd or Jeff.
I'm asking I'm asking Reggie. Reggie thinks Ilya's hotter than you. I'm saying.
Do you think like I for harder than Neil, you have a mean Eliade, like on the same length when you're out of the running dog, you're you're not you're not in the game. You're out there. Oh, you still got eliminated. You think Italy has a chance against Todd and Jeff? I'm asking Reggie. Oh, yeah. OK, I might have something special. I don't know.
I think Jeff is the most attractive one. OK, but I've seen it in the gym.
He's fucking yoked. Yeah, but he's fucking three feet tall.
No, I tell you, it's like Chicken Little with abs.
It's like it's really attractive when someone's like well groomed and it just it just like when you look at them, it's just like, oh, they smell good. They smell clean.
Oh like when I look at it, it's like the only thing I have you ever smelled is that I haven't.
Does he. Showers are allowed to always smell good.
You don't look like you shower all the time and that smells when I'm fucking working out.
What do you mean. Like Ilya would be my type if he got new, more groomed. I can never get that together. I could never. So what are you talking about when you stop to stop fucking being so defensive, bro.
Yeah, just asking you.
Fuck he already offered to fuck and you over.
You don't get a fucking second chance. Maybe next time don't be working so much and fuck our friend Reggie just.
Well I told Johnny I need. That's the best part, is being able to tell the child you hooked up. I fucked your brother. Oh, my. So it's so funny telling Mike.
I mean, you finally telling everybody I went to shoot a video with Joe at a bakery, and the girl who runs a bakery is a pretty attractive and super nice. And in the middle of it, she reaches down into the mixer and she's like, you know, sometimes we get things stuck in here. She bent over into the fucking giant mixer. And Joe is like, oh, you get stuck in here. And I was like, Joe, no, no, not now.
It's not a time for a stop or a joke. We don't know this girl. Her boyfriend's watching the whole thing. She gave it. No, she missed the whole thing. Like, I don't think she understood stuff. Porn jokes. Anyway, she was just like anyways.
And then I just reach in and grab it and then I come out, oh, OK, you're stuck.
Have you noticed that Instagram rels is like straight up porn?
No, that's just you. It's it's an algorithm that's tailored to what you enjoy. Yeah.
No shit. The pervert.
You guys don't you guys don't go on your four you page on Instagram and then they, they feature a real and every time it's a girl like lifting her skirt.
No mine's all cars. Really. Yeah. That's funny huh. That's fucking ok. Go cut that out.
No I'm kidding. I've definitely seen some like weird. I haven't really masroor on Instagram.
Real's enough though for it to be like, you know, your gender reveal party started like a giant fire. Is that how this fire is going on. One of the fires. Yeah. That burned 7000 acres started by a gender reveal party like an explosion, people. Hey General reveals how did you find out what the gender of your kid was going to be?
We sat across the doctor. He said, you want to know? And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I want to know. And Marnie was like, I don't know. Like, I just find out. I just find out. It's like, OK. And then he just he put it in an envelope and he handed it to us.
We read it. Wow. What, what did what did say the boy. So it said, boy I was stoked.
Oh my God. I was so, so happy that the second one was a girl even stoked her.
That's the best combination. It was on the fact that I was having a boy. I was like, I can't believe I have a boy. I can redo all my father's wrongs. And then that's a big deal. And then that's a raid. We went in for the second one. Same doctor. His name's Howie Mandel. Not the not the doctor, Dr. James Howie, Howie Mandel and Beverly Hills. You want to see your kid?
It's a boy deal or no deal.
And then he slid it across and I was like, come on, girl banks calling. Well, I said, I'm sorry.
I'm we're doing all the references.
And I was like, come on, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl. And then I was like a literally in his office. I was like, fuck, yeah. I guess. What is it that's so crazy?
Marty was I was like I was like, that's amazing. She's like, yes, it's good, it's good, it's good. Come down. And I was like, what are these. It's great.
How would you have reacted if it was another boy.
Yeah, I would have been like, OK, that's good, that's good. Long that's healthy. That's not fun.
That would be boring, huh. Yeah. I would ask two boys, what's the point. You're happy you have to go again.
You don't have to try again to get a girl. Yeah, I would go again now. You'd go again right now and have sex but no, no I would have.
Is that just because you went on a four hour cruise ride with Marnie just now? You're just like, I want to go again. Jason was just on.
He's not having kids.
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Thanks, PayPal. Jason was just on a boat with Marty. For how long? A three hour for our cruise went out.
Small boat, a big boat, Redondo. Pretty big yacht kind of thing. Wow. OK, enough room for us to sit on the bow and like then we saw a bunch of seals. Oh yeah. Like a boat for yourselves. Yeah.
It was a mean another family was and another family, but she really wanted to go and I was like oh yeah. Well if an opportunity to hang out with her I'll go wow.
Does she love you. Sometimes I think about it, sometimes I'm like, why do I love her? You love her. I love you, Tasmin. On fire, David. I don't know if Todd's gotten funnier or if I've gotten stupider, but this motherfucker has been on fire lately with the most dumbest jokes.
Yeah, I love you. Yeah, that's pretty good. You must have thought that one that Todd was feeling tyros on about the other day.
You know, I don't have anybody in my life, so I certainly think about it.
I'm certainly like, Mom, I'm dating someone now. Shut the fuck up. I want to be crazy when I do get to say something like that.
I'm glad you're practicing saying it. It felt good coming out of my time. You know what I'm excited for? I'm excited for. I'd like you to meet her. Yeah, I'm so excited. I don't know who she is, but that's going to be really bizarre. Yeah. Because you're going to be like he's been waiting for you for a long time.
He's been really meeting this, like, that's going to be fun. And then there's going to be like a lot of pressure on her. She's going to look at me, just go, wow, what do I not know about you? I'm like, real desperate. She's 16. She's 16. I don't know. It's going to be crazy. That's so cool that I may get married one day and so early on we'll have kids. And yet you guys have all that and the kids will like each other and then they'll marry and Will and I will be in a family together.
How funny would it be if my kid was like six five?
Nine is like five if I was on my deathbed?
What what would happen if you were on your deathbed? Yeah, like let's say let's say I'm on my deathbed. Yeah.
And what would happen? Like I wrote, I come to the hospital. Yeah. I'd go to be the final thing but. Well, you'd probably make make like you'd probably like first of all, you'd be sad. Well, there's this after you get your kids out of the way.
Oh, my kids are grown. They're all married just like tomorrow. No, no, not tomorrow. Oh, you're on your death.
I don't fucking know. Let's say it's tomorrow. Let's say it's tomorrow. Let's say you got your kids out of the way.
You don't care. You don't care.
When I die, when I'm 80 now because we're all going to die and then you'll still be sixty. You'll be spry. OK, ok.
Let's just take tomorrow just for the sake of argument, because I find that interesting. By your own deathbed tomorrow, all of a sudden you have some complications. It hurts about the shut off. You said goodbye to your kids and I now it's the moment with the friends. It's for some reason you said you kept them for a second because you thought maybe you going to die so quickly. I need to see the kids first. OK, I guess the kids have left and it's just me and you.
I think that you wouldn't leave. They they'd be in the waiting room. Most likely they'd leave stuff to do if I was busy. Show you why it's working on his album. So I think yeah, I think I think what would happen. I think you want to you'd want me to make like a joke or a video out of it. I really do.
I think you'd be like, grab your phone.
I think even like with a little energy you had left, you grab your phone, grab your phone, gramophone, make a joke about right or am I wrong?
Yeah, I would love it. The question is, is would you post it? Right. Probably not, right. We couldn't that's why we remember we made a pact like three years ago, if any of us died, we were allowed to make jokes the next day about it. Yes, I remember we just had to kind of stick to that probably film. One more video. Yeah, pull the plug, make that joke.
Like, that'll be a really funny and kill you right now. Yeah, it delayed motherfucker.
One more shot, one more shot at the paint ball to the leg.
What would you what would you want me just given what is going on in here. Sorry. Sorry I'm wiping the pain off your leg. Sorry. Just he's going what am I going to do. So I asked him to do it. Then would you be bummed if I replaced like a I would obviously have to get a new podcast co-host for sure. Like what a bum you out that I would already have someone lined up like even before you died in the hospital bed, me telling him, remember, he loves to talk about food.
His vocabulary is not too good. He's still waiting for a girlfriend. Well, what would you want me to do on your deathbed?
You nailed it. Oh, OK. Yeah, probably jokes. Would you want me to cry? No, I wouldn't need you to cry if you cried. I'd be fine, I wouldn't. I mean, I don't need you to cry. I don't expect I would expect you to cry. Actually, you would cry. You probably would.
Yeah, I would probably cry as long as everybody was out of the room. You probably would.
I've seen you cry once. I saw you cry once.
When I one time I made a speech. You cried. Oh yeah. I cried. I was at that restaurant. Yeah. I saw Dave cry one time, okay, guys, come on. I love the way he said that. He was like, oh yeah, I can do right now.
Yeah, I sure fuck what is of course, I don't know if I've told this story before, but one time. Can you tell me first. So I can prepare for it.
I'm nervous. It's not that bad. It's like very heartwarming actually.
Um, fuck like 23 years ago you found out apparently that my girlfriend that I dated at the time for like four years cheated on me. Oh, yeah.
And I walk in the room. I walk in David's room. Oh yeah.
And he's like, well, I got to talk to you. I'm like, oh my God, what's happening? He's all serious. And he goes, I think she I think your girlfriend cheated on you.
And he starts like he starts like tearing up and crying. I didn't know how to say it. I was so confused. I'm like, why are you crying? I was just and it wasn't that I started tearing up before I said it.
And then you were like, you were freaking out. You were fucking crying. You're like, what's going on? You made me spit it out. And it was she wasn't dating this. This is a girlfriend he had four years ago. And I and I just found out that she cheated on him the entire time, which wasn't true.
But like, look, I found out that she cheated on him the entire time the relationship was over. And, you know, four years ago, I was like, but I was like, I have to tell him because, like, he'll still check in on this girl. I was like, fuck this girl. But it all turned out to not be true. But yeah, I was like I was like, God, I have no idea how other like all the right after.
I'm like, I'm like, did you cheat on me? Was like, why are you talking about what made you cry.
I mean what do you mean. It's like people cheating. I hate cheaters. I fuck. I know. But the relationship was over. It had nothing to do with you. Why are you crying about his four year relationship? Because. Because I really liked him. Because he really liked her. And it was like it just like crush the idea of like trust and like love for somebody to hear that like that that blows your number one person in the world.
And once again, hey, I love love. And when it's fucking when love is ruined, I get fucking angry.
Hey, why example? This old fart the other day was this she was popping his own favorite.
Yeah. Farted accidentally while he was like doing music like bare ass onto the farts accidentally his cheeks and and he was like his pop. And then I guess whatever he was creating he didn't really think was so great.
But he sampled the fart and the fire was like, how was that. Yeah. Oh he did is pretty good.
What happened when you were boxing with Natalie? Well, we go boxing like three times a week. And we went one time two times ago. We went with Addison and Natalie. Yeah. And so when we came back to this last time that we went, Addison didn't come, but saw one of the trainers kept on telling Natalie Anderson, let's go out, let's go. It's just like anything worse. You go.
Yeah. Do boxing coaches never get names, right? Ever. Like they call me Elliott. And then they shortened and they go e like, OK, well, right. So like, at this point, boxing coach is king, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I've been here all year, boxing coach, all my best coaches ever ever have always gotten you never watch like Mayweather fights as coach. You always go Lloyd, you got this point.
It's just the thing the boxing coaches just cannot get it right.
No, but it's the worst when someone doesn't get your name right because it's like like especially when you don't correct them right away, because now they're going the entire day and now you're just like digging yourself deeper into the hole. Well, now you definitely can't crack them. So, like, now now we've made it a point. We all have to call Natalie Addison around this boxer trainer just so he doesn't.
Yeah. Did you correct it? No.
Well, I would have corrected him, like, if you just had a completely different name. Mark. Mark, yeah. Did he ask you to make it tick tock at the end?
No, I don't think I don't even they pick up on the fact of, like, who she is or like in that regard.
So I don't I box he knows our names. Todd and Jason. I just because I'm tired of these guys, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you guys for listening. Make sure to go by all our merch. Go buy some adjacent work. Do you do you still have merch? Yeah, I do. There's a nice, uh, it's pretty good. Do you wear it? I don't have any of it right now. Well, I lost a lot of the items.
They don't send you new ones. No, they make me pay for it.
We'll see as a service. I guess my name is Jeff.