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Well, the more I will say you're the first person I would like us to ever bring in a live audience, we have fans lining up at the door and they did it because it was because they didn't want to miss the gold nuggets that you will drop. But for those who don't know you and probably do, because you're the reason this podcast even really started right now you really are, which I told you at Christmas, because years ago a mom and I were at an event and the interviewer asked me, what's the best piece of advice I've ever been given?
And I said something you said to me whenever I came in. I remember I was telling you about all my problems and I was like, Mama, what am I going to do about this situation? And I was trying to think of my revenge. I was going to make and you said, oh, honey, you are not kind because other people are kind to you. You are kind because you are a kind person. And that advice has stuck with me.
It's on the wall out here. And Mom in the interview literally said in the microphone, whoa, that's good. And behold, the podcast began. And so you had a fingerprint. All of this. We have so many memories. You you taught me how to play. You know, I did the savage. I'd never let you win. You did it. That's why I said you got to be it. Because I'm not going to let anybody else win either.
And whenever I have this daughter, she won't she won't be able to beat me because you taught me that I know so many good things. But I would ask you the question. I ask everybody, what is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? You know, that's a hard question.
It is. And I thought about it because she warned me ahead of time and the. My grandmother was really instrumental in raising me because we had a multigenerational family, my grandmother and grandfather lived with us all my growing up years, so and she had a lot of advice. But once she told me when I was dating to always look for a man who is kind to his mother and he will be good to you. That's good.
And and it really stuck with me so much. And I don't know whether that just became part of me or whatever because of what she said. But those things that I know she was talking about were kindness and goodness and respect and all of those things that you look for in someone that makes you happy. Yeah, that makes you feel good about yourself. And that's what I looked for. And that's what I found. A big, big way. That's the way that's so cool that you said that, because I remember a conversation we had sitting at counterculture me when to mama, I don't even know if you'll remember this.
And I just broke it up with somebody else. And you said, well, honey, you're just you're kissed a lot of frogs and you said you're going to find your friends one day. And then I remember you encouraged me with because we're talking about Shaq and you were just saying he was just such a sweet man. And I remember thinking, I don't think I've dated a sweet guy, like just a really kind, sweet person that is a huge tree.
And people that, you know, I don't think I think men sometimes might not think that that is of as much value. They want to be masculine about things, but to be sweet and to be kind is such a huge treasure and an attractive thing and something that is rare. But it's, you know, that's how they're going to treat you. And so I remember that kind of shifted in my mind. And then when I brought Christian home and he said he's not a frog and as like and he's a sweet man and I just kind of clicked.
Do you know, you've got to be very, very strong within yourself. I mean, I would think that a man would have to be really strong within himself. Yeah. To be able to exhibit that and be comfortable with that.
Yeah, that's good. So if people had an amazing marriage, how long were you married.
Fifty seven years. Yeah. That's OK. That's awesome. And he was the greatest man. He also told me that he was color blind, which is why he always put the blue card over the green and you know, and I thought that was true until like two years ago. You told me he wasn't there is a goober, but he was is awesome. He was what? So I know one thing was kindness. And people that you looked for was something you would say you had in your marriage that you would encourage other people to maybe look for if they're already married, work towards.
Mutual respect, I think, more than anything else, and always wanting to put that other person first, we always said even then both of us together, that marriage is not a 50 50 thing. It's a 90 10 both ways. Yeah, because you want to do the things it should be within your heart to want to do the things that make that other person happy. I remember, you know, basketball was papa's life when we were married. He was a basketball player.
And every night we went to a ball game. But that was OK with me because I loved basketball. But later on, I was thinking at times when he went to hear, oh, we have a famous singer, Robert Mirel, an opera tenor who came to Alexandru when we lived there for a concert. I was so excited about him coming. And people had never gone to a concert like that before. But he went along and said it was the best thing he ever heard.
Was or not, he he made me think he did, which was important.
That's so sweet. I love that.
Know, not only that our our two oldest daughters were in an opera once and he went to the opera and just it was awesome. He said, we've got to do this. And he was enthusiastic about everything that made me happy. And I was enthusiastic about the things that made him happy.
That is such good advice. I love that.
After you said this quick story, when we were first married and of course, we were so poor, he was in the Marine Corps and we didn't make any money, but we were walking down downtown and San Diego window shopping. And in the window of this one store was the model with this gorgeous black velvet coat on with rhinestone buttons across along the front. And I just thought that was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Well, people bought that for me for Christmas.
Well, yes, of course, we could not afford that. So I had to be very cautious about what I said. What you said you, like, made me happy because I knew work really hard to see that was still necessary.
I love what a good man I was like was this year for Christmas. I had just mentioned a lot of things that I wanted for Christmas from Christian, but I was just kind of tossing it out. And I was so surprised when he remembered everything down to like this little face exfoliant razor.
I was like, How do you know it's a good thing for somebody to see what you love, to see what your face lights up or an executive? I remember a pebble pebble.
I love for basketball. And that was actually like where my love for basketball came. Nearly had a legacy for that. And I remember being in like sixth grade and like wanting so badly to see me play on the varsity team. So I was like, I'm going have to work really hard because I got we got a long way to go. And that year I remember shooting like one hundred shots every day now making a hundred every day. I couldn't go into I made one hundred every day because I wanted so badly to be on the varsity.
It I know. And then I made it in seventh grade and I remember whatever I went overseas to play. You gave me Pipas pin his flag that he had whenever he got it for playing in the Marines playing basketball.
I really did. I was just so special. I got into this so cool. Well you guys set a great example for relationships. I actually just remember this when I was little and I was such a weird memory. Like, I have very distinctive memories of Hezbollah, just like little ones, like playing guess who and how. Every time I spent the night with you, he would sleep on the couch and I would sleep with you.
One of the thing is, I remember sitting in that place, the room, the computer and all had and he walked in one day and he told me that whenever you're married one day, I mean, I had to be like seven. And he was like, don't let the sun go down. Anger at your spouse. And he told me that and so sweet. And if they're not Christian will always say he's like, I know, I know.
Sun doesn't go down until he always thought about this because it means a lot is one thing. I remember people saying the advice, something that we did in our marriage is amazing.
I love it. Well, you know, you're an amazing your amazing wife. And now you're a grandma. A great grandma, a great way. Great, great, great, great grandma. You have a long legacy. How many grandkids you actually have?
I have. Twenty nine grandchildren. Yeah, that is amazing. Twenty nine grand. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let's go back. I have 12 grandchildren, 12 grandchildren. And I have 29. Grandchildren and great grandchildren, great, great, great, great, you have to you too. Yes. And you're about to have two more. I know.
Yeah. And you had six kids. You have a lot of kids. Yeah. Happily so for me about your mom with just one with services. A motherly advice for me.
I think the. The biggest thing that you can give your children. Is to be a strong parent, a strong, confident parent, it's good. I heard someone say once when they were talking about rearing children, about children who were having tantrums and just going completely preserved, and then that's when your your job as a parent is to go in and stop that because they can't do it and they depend on you to take care of them. That's good.
So that's a small child. But I remember when I was in high school that when one when my friends would want to do something and involve me, that I didn't think it was smart to do, I would say, oh, my mom would never let me do that. Well, whether she would or not, I hung it on her head.
So I knew then how important it was that you had a parent who said, no, that's not wise to do. Yeah. Just now we're not going to do that in our family, that sort of thing.
That's so funny, isn't it? Because the mom used to always say she was like, if you ever need to blame it on me, you can blame it on me.
If you didn't know my girls. You just say your mom said you can't because it's true. She probably will. It's true.
So what Mel is talking about, about how you never know whatever the best of your life is going to be because it could be next. There's always opportunities that can grow and keep doing things. And she just had so much wisdom of all the things she said in her life. And I was thinking how cool that is for her and how that could be the same for us. Now there's a website called Skillshare, Skillshare dot com. And it basically you can go on, you can take all these different classes like watercolor if you want.
You can take business, you can take photography and all of these different things and earn these skills and different things in life that maybe you always kind of thought, I would love to try that. So you go to school dot com and do that. You take a class, you have a teacher and everything, and it's actually less than most classes would be. You can get an annual subscription for less than ten dollars a month. So that's pretty legit.
And also, if you're a Skillshare dot com slash, whoa, you can also get a free trial with the premium subscription. So everybody go to school Shadyac Laswell and go try some fun this year that you've never done. But that's so good, I love that, too, Mom, I ask too, mom, another day, so to momma is your daughter my grandma. And she said I said, was mama a strict parent?
She said, Oh, she was strong. She said she said she was all fun and she was really cool. But when she snapped her fingers, there were six kids in line that saw so much respect. And you know that I made my children sit on the front row and church, the gym that terrible that I did because I wanted them to know what it was like to be right there in front where everyone was watching that and behave themselves. That's hilarious because I like the front row and every time I start walking towards Christians, I know not the front row, not for it's very, very easy to do that or something.
That's hilarious. So I want to ask you about the legacy that you built because truly built a legacy like you have twenty nine grandkids. You all love you and all think that they're your favorite, which is really impressive because you love everybody the same and you pay attention to everybody's life and you're and you invest in our lives. You showed up to everything I've done to tennis matches and basketball games. And when I walked in Fashion Week and it is with stars like you were there.
And that's so impressive because you have a lot going on. But when you think about leaving a legacy for people, what is something that you keep in the forefront of your mind just as the great grandmother that you are? Is there some advice you can give to somebody who say, maybe I haven't had a great legacy, I want to build a good legacy? What are some of those characteristics that you think have done that? Oh.
And, you know, I really thought about this and I even looked up the word legacy and what that means and it. Just just live a life that someone wants to emulate. I think it's good that they see something in you that they want to be when they grow up, and it's not. It's not anything special other than just loving your family and being available for them when they are when they need help or someone to always be there to back them up.
That's good. It. That's a great answer. That's actually like for just somebody who is your great granddaughter, like I've seen it in your life and I can say that is your legacy. We all want to be like you, like everybody like to. Mom, I said the other day, she said to Bob, I said, Man, you are just like your mom. And she said, thank you.
That's a good thing. I hope I'm just like my mom. Well, he did me too. Well, because she was she's strong like she was being strong and something.
And then another one of our cousins was over today and she said I said, oh, I got to go interview Mama.
She said, Oh, OK, good. She said I was actually going to go over and talk to my mom today because I needed some advice because she had just done this so well in her life that I need advice for, she said, but I'll wait till you're done with me asking you all the advice to share the world.
So you have this whole family who wants to learn from you, seek wisdom from you, because we see somebody in your life that is valuable and that has blessed so many people and your strength, your love, your ability to show up and care, your ability to continue to make Christmas brunch for however many family members we have at your age is incredible.
And this year, after even coming through covid, you even made brunch for the family. Like you're just very strong. And that's something that we all look up to.
Well, that's something that is fun to do. And I know everyone looks forward to it and enjoys it. And I wouldn't just applaud you for the world. So maybe dragging in the 95 and doing this monster we call it Christian will be like, are you going to make your chocolate coffee drink? I'll still drink it all. Rest the recipe anyway. I love it. We have tried to make it. It's not as good as yours. You have just the magic touch.
But it was really good. I was thinking about this. You know, you lived a long life. I am twenty three. You are. How old are you. Will you tell.
Oh yes I'm eighty nine. I will be ninety in April.
That's so awesome. So looking back, what was something you didn't know at my age that you're glad you learned in life?
Oh honey, I was so dumb. I was but. But I was hopeful again and always looking forward to what was coming. And probably more than anything else, I learned patience because I was an impatient person. I wanted everything to happen like that. Yeah, I can't click my fingers anymore, but it. And I learned that from from your papa, yeah, because he was always he would always say, let's just let it lie. Well, you know, when there was a crisis or something that I wanted to fix right away, especially with with our teenage children, he would say, let's just let it ride for a while and see what happens.
And usually it would work itself out good, but it takes patience to do that. Yeah, this generation needs to hear that because I think more than ever we want things to happen like this because things do happen like that, you know, especially apps to make things happen, fast food. We can get it delivered.
If we want entertainment, we can click on an app and watch a movie where you get things really fast and some things in life. You don't just get like that. You know, you need patients in that such of.
Exactly. That's really cool.
Another thing that I learned from him was not to worry because we're not even supposed to worry. You know, it's scriptural that we are not not supposed to worry. But he would say, if I can do something about something, I will do it. And if I can't, I'll worry and the world will not fix it.
That's good. That's good. That's a word for everybody. Yes. It's another thing with us right now. I think we're so anxious, more anxious than ever. And it is scriptural.
Do not worry about anything what you wear, which e and then dilatation and says like what does he compare it to. Do you not see how he takes care of the birds? Just how much more will he take care of you. Exactly.
That's so good of all the decades that you've lived because you've lived there a lot. I even asked you the other day I was like, have you ever seen a time like this? And you're like, Yes, World War Two.
And I was like, Oh yeah, you did live through a lot of things.
So of all the things that you lived through, what was one of the hardest decades and what was one of the greatest, the hardest is was a time during the 80s when we were going and Louisiana we were. Just cursed with a bad depression, the oil industry all left Shreveport, where we were living and moved to out of state, and there were at that time, there were fifteen hundred. House FHA repos on the market and in Shreveport, Louisiana, which means people have just walked away from their houses without paying any kind of mortgage or anything.
Well, and we were in the real estate business, so it was devastating to us. And we we lost a lot of our holdings at that time financially. It was just totally disruptive. And and it was so hard for me because I had to see what effect it had on my husband, not just our family, but my husband. And if it had not been for our faith and our family, we could not have gone through that and come out well.
So that's an easy one. But that's sad stuff. And I don't even think about that anymore. I was like, Scarlet's worry about that tomorrow.
But anyway, it the happy the best one may yet be there. You know, I have always felt in my life that whatever age I was was the best age to be and I would not go back for anything. Well, I would not want to make the same mistakes or even correct the ones I made, because hopefully I learned from them. Yeah, but it so I don't know.
We'll just see you saying I love it. I love it. See, that's so cool because not many people say that. And even when I said like, well, you tell us how old you are because people don't want to say that for some reason and for you to probably be like, well, yes, I'm eighty nine, about to be 90 and there's so much more to come.
And I do think that that is one of your having two more Granberg, great grandpa, you grandbaby.
You are you have a lot to look forward to.
And I think that's that's so powerful that someday I want to take from and not look back because even at, you know, twenty three and this seems crazy because I know I'm really I'm but we've done like a lot of really cool things and I feel like sometimes I'm like, oh man, when I was 17, a lot of really good things happen but always believe God for more that like there's greater things to come. And they might not seem as significant as a big moment, but they're significant in the specialty of the moment.
Now, I love that that's such good advice.
You your importance that you put on the big things change. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's so good. I love that. I think I you know, looking at your life, I do think that's one of your keys to success because, you know, you do always look forward to the future and you know, you're not done yet. But what would you say as a key to success for for aging? Well, because when people look at you, they're like, how did you age so well?
People always think you're my grandma, not my great grandma. And when they hear the things that you do, like I said that, like, I'll pass your house and you'll be outside with a leaf blower, like, hey, honey, like you were also the first person I knew that had an iPhone. Like, you're constantly just in the cool, not to mention you shop at free people. What? Like, that's just where I shop.
So we could end up with the same thing one day like it is very cool. What would you say is a tip to aging? Well.
Well, one is to accept change and even embrace it when it's it's a good thing to keep learning, always keep learning. And I think the biggest thing for me that has been in my favor is being surrounded by people I love and that love me back again. And that that is so good. It was so funny you said that because my granddaughter Ashley and I went to Australia four years ago and we were part of a tour with all these Chinese women.
And we were we were climbing up kind of a minor mountain. And of course, I was so much taller than everybody else that I was up with the guy in the front and someone back in the back of the Chinese women was hanging back. And the guy back there said to her that that woman up there is eighty four years old and she's walking with the guide. And they all looked at me and I totally different look, because in China, when you were that old, the family takes care of you.
You don't do anything anymore. You just sit and grow old. Yeah. And so from then on, they followed everything I did. I'm serious. It was really awesome. We were we had this one woman who was always over my shoulder no matter where we were, she was there. And then one day she showed up with someone who spoke English and translated. She had been following me until she could get a translator to talk to me. And she wanted me to come to China and talk to Chinese women.
Yeah. About a group that is a very, very good. I told her was tell them to get a computer. That's good advice as a person with the iPhone, you knew a lot more than everybody else. That is so funny. You're famous in China. Well, maybe they'll listen to his podcast and be like, that's the woman. That's a woman. No. She's doing it.
And you truly are an inspiration to so many people. I mean, our whole family, anybody knows you. All my friends are like, we just want to be like normal Joe. And even which we haven't announced our daughter's name, we're not go into yet, but her name is in remembrance of you and a really significant way. So everybody just loves you.
You mentioned earlier about going through a really hard time. And, you know, we're clearly going through a hard time right now in our world. Twenty twenty was hard and twenty twenty one is a new year. But still a lot of the same hard things are rolling in. And so from someone who's been through multiple hard times in our nation and your own personal life, what's your advice to people getting through a time like this where it just seems, you know.
Wild, oh, I think along with everything else that happens to us, honey, this is all temporary. Yeah, it's this is a course. It's that old adage of this world is not your home. This that we are just sojourners here, which means we're just stopping for a while yet. Aren't you a better place and another place. Yeah. And it and to know that the Lord is in charge, this is what is so comforting to me and hopefully to everyone else that is a believer in him that.
He is in control of this all and he does not want bad things for us, this I'm always surprised when someone says in my hearing that how could God let this happen? This is the world that lets things happen to us. It is. And he is the comforter, the sustainer for us through all of these things that happen here on Earth, Pritch is just not a preacher.
Hey, where do I get it from? I got it from somewhere. Oh, you've got it. You have a better legacy there than from me. But it. My foot, my faith in God is such a simple thing. It really is. I've never thought it had to be complicated and it's just that God's in charge and he's going to help me through this. And there have been some really hard times. You know, I lost a nephew that was so dear to me when he was 11 years old and that was the worst time.
And I remember my brother, who was a very strong man in the faith. It was his son. And staying on our way home from the hospital when this happened, that. He's in the best place and we're the ones who have to stay here and remember him well. And it was just such a powerful testimony for him to say at that horrible time in his life. And if nothing else, that just strengthened my faith. And this time.
Well, there are so many people to hear that because a lot of people have passed away this year than most other people in a lot of even I mentioned this and the prayer just being here, that a lot of people lost grandparents. And so it's a beautiful thing for them to have somebody wise and older speak into our life. But that is such a beautiful thing for somebody who lost someone so dear to have that perspective that they're the ones who are in the better place and we're getting to them.
That's we're a little behind the pace to get to the eternity and how beautiful it will be, you know, when people when people died.
Which was a terrible, horrible time, but I remember your grandpa saying, well, I can just see Dad up there saying, well, Gordon see their shack.
So I just gave it up. It just lightened my burden so much to realize that that was really happening. That's certainly such a sweet thing for him to say. I was just telling Gretchen the other day that one of our great grandfathers used to say garden seed. And that was a man I remember when when Papa Shat passed and I remember we all went and had a party at two Momma's House. And I was like, why are we having a party?
Because I could not stop crying. And I don't know if it was mom or two mom or one of y'all explaining to me that because it is a celebration, because he would want us to be happy that he's in heaven in an eternity. And it's just a beautiful thing to shift your mind towards heaven and to shift your mind towards the goodness of God. Well, I know that's going to help so many so many people have chag and people are hopefully watching and listening in.
There are a cloud of witnesses I saw when I was little and I would pray I would say, dear God, would you mind if I talked to Papa Shaq and Papa Howard for a minute? And I would just talk to us about the line. He would just transfer me. And so they know that I'm talking to them to remember you're incredible. We are so much to so many fun stories and just the legacy that you live, you make me cry.
Is that to wrap this up or start it? But we love you. Everyone in the world is going to feel loved by you just from this podcast. I know it's funny because you're the most confident, strong person I know. And you said you were nervous to be on this podcast. And by the way, you told me you were going to hit me with one liners and not have anything to say. You're right. You're right. You had gone.
So for those of you listening, I hope that this encourages you and that you take so much good advice from the well it wisdom that she is. And I hope it strengthens your faith in God and it helps you get through hard times and even embrace the times to come and look forward to the future in your life, no matter how old you are, if you're twenty three or eighty nine, there are things to look forward to. But the more.
Thank you. I love you so much.
I say those things good.
I loved it so good. Well, ma'am, from your wise words years ago. Well, that's good. I think we need to add that was really good. Really good. I'm so glad I was here to hear that. I was like, oh, they're like bawling, crying. I was like, don't look at me because what I do like. Right. And the purple. And I kept saying, you do this as I give me I'd start crying.
It was so sweet. I loved it so much. Good advice. I also was like, why am I not writing all this down? But then I was like, oh, I don't have to write it down because it's going to be here forever. I know. I was thinking about I was like this not piece of like you said, I was like, no, this is no, this is I know it's like a million. So much good stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, business per usual. On to the good and bad advice that you guys sent in. Thank you for listening and getting better advice to the world. That's good guys in Syria and also on our sister app, which we get most of our advice from. So thanks, girls. Thanks, everyone. All right. Well, what do you think about this? In relationships, there really should be an open book. I think that's great.
Of course, you want that. You know, that idea of like being known by the person that you love and that loves you. So I think an open book is good. You should be able to kind of like lay it all bare before the person that you love and that loves you. I agree. I think you should wait until, you know, it's a serious relationship, because since most people get in relationships like and I've done this and just like let me say everything about my life and then I break up a week later and they only you for like two weeks and you're like now you know everything.
Yeah. I guess I'm speaking for, like, a real relationship relationship that you want to like. Yeah. You think is there for the long haul. Definitely. But that's great. I think whenever you're fully known, that's when you know you're fully loved. There's a security cam for that comes with that. All right. Marriage is only as good as your singleness. I don't know about that, I mean, because every story is different. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you might be in a rough season and you're singleness, but you're going to have an awesome marriage.
So I think you should, like, put that on yourself that like, oh, because some of my days were hard and weren't fulfilling or weren't this my marriage is going to be the same. So, no, I agree. Not necessarily. And you'll get married at 18. So I think this was like high school year, like some years ago. So really got. Yeah. All right.
This is good. Don't play the victim to circumstances. You created something that's really good. That's right. Good. Yeah. Yeah, I think people could. Yeah. You're like all of a sudden you're like, oh my life so terrible. And you're like, but how did you get there? And there's choices that you made that put you there. And I don't think really playing a victim is ever good in any situation. You know, you should see yourself more as a survivor of things or a more of a person who overcame things, not are a victim.
That's like medal's like. Yeah, no one says about hard times that she was like, I'm not going to dwell on that. And then I think about that because I was so long ago, like it wasn't like, oh, and then this happened to someone else. She's like, yeah, it was a hard time for everybody. Yeah. And I faith goes through it right that way. I think it's good. I love it. Well guys, your idea keeps it in some good advice and some bad advice if you want us to talk about it or discuss it.
And we will. But I think we'll just leave it there because Memmel, not the volcano, killed it. I loved it. It was so good. I think it was. What's so funny about it too, was you called me and were like, I'm a little nervous. Do you think maybe you should be on it too, so that she'll talk a lot? And I was like, my mom does not need me. No, she's just being humble, like she's going to kill it.
I knew she kept telling me, like, I'm so nervous. And she was like, and I never really, like, plan as far as like give people the questions. I'm going to ask them, you know, and she's like, I need to see the questions. Like, we need to talk this over. And I'm like, why are you so nervous? And then she's like, no, I'm just saying I wish that I had talked much.
You need to be prepared. And then she just brought it.
I love it. I was thinking about that first. I don't think of yourself more highly than you are. That is so much like she doesn't think of herself as like anything but but she has just left this amazing legacy and she is, like you said, like who we all want to be when we grow up. And so I'm so glad that she was able to share with all the podcast listeners. I know they should be in the house today.
Well, it's fun.