So I am a fat glass of champagne, and right now this is not a sober episode, it might not be a lover for like some people, but I've been trying to drink less often, so I feel like it's kind of a lost cause.

You're so skinny, babe.

You think. Roll the intro. Are you ready? Yeah, let's go. Hey, guys, look like the bad gets wild till nine hosted by myself, Lord DIY and my handsome boyfriend Jeremy. I just want to go by boyfriend.

Oh, did not handsome. Just in boyfriend and boyfriend got together.

Well, we decided a couple of episodes ago that that is your title.

Oh yeah. I cheated on LinkedIn and everything. And boyfriend. Boyfriend. First name and last name. Boyfriend. Yeah. So I'm not gonna lie. It's Friday night and we drank a little bit and I haven't had. You've been refilling a little bit more than I have.

Honestly, I was so thirsty and this is like this is always the problem is that like when I'm thirsty instead of like gulping a ton of water, I'll just like take massive swings of my alcoholic beverage and then I end up in trouble. So can't wait to see what I'm going to reveal on tonight's podcast because I'm under the influence of Moey.

Everyone now gets to see tipsy. Lauren. Oh yeah. Which is seem to be.

Oh anyway. Oh my God. Anyways, hi guys.

Welcome back. Stop, drop, drop, drop, drop. This is going really well for me. Stop, drop, roll rate download, follow. Do all the things on the podcast.

Whatever platform are listening to. You know you're on YouTube.

Go SLAPP subscribe or follow on Apple or Spotify or Stitcher or wherever else.

Ditcher it's a thing.

Let's not make fun of stitcher, OK? Some people like stitcher. No, I believe that. I do believe it.

I do. I do. I do. Deezer pod being pod podcast.

App podcast. Yeah. These are all we're not going to discriminate against pod B.

I love onto the content. So we've been asked you guys on a bunch of different platforms like what kind of content you want from us, what questions you have, what insight we can provide. We're already at ideas because, because it's episode seven and we're like, what the fuck do we what else is there discussed?

But a reoccurring topic that came up a lot was like our journey of living together. Jeremy, if in fact is the first boyfriend and significant other that I've ever lived with and learned, in fact, is not.

Wait a second, yes, second, second. Yeah, OK, so that's like I mean, so had like one run of experience, one run of experience.

Yeah, yeah. No, I think that I learned a few things right up front, like, OK, cool. This is like the my territory got to do this.

And also these are the things that we're just going to let go because now with the fight, I mean, yeah, I feel like living together is the ultimate compromise and like test. If you guys are going to kill each other while living together during a worldwide lockdown is the ultimate test.

Oh, that's true. I really had this conversation so many times about like our couple friends about like this is a make or break test of like new ish relationships. If, like, you're each gonna last because like you are about to learn the worst of the worst habits of the other person because you're about to spend like an unhealthy amount of time together without seeing another person.

Oddly enough, I feel like we kind of live this lifestyle before the whole thing happens. So we were more ready to transition into full time living together. We've been training for this.

Yeah, I mean, no, no. OK, so like, I feel like that's misleading. We've been living together since basically our fifth date.

OK, that's missing, you know. OK, let's see.

I honestly, I feel we probably should have like recapped our timeline before hitting record because dead now everyone can hear us do it in real time. In real time.

Truly. OK, so let's see. I feel like and this always happens in a relationship.

Is that like one person in the relationship, you spend more time at their house, whether it be because their parents are homeless or they help or they don't have roommates or they have like a better set up or they have like a pet that they can't leave for prolonged amounts of time.

Are you just naming all the things that you had that I didn't? Oh, well, no, I don't have.

Well, you didn't have anybody there or the parents.

No, I just mean, like in general in relationships, like there's always a significant others house that you spend more time at. It's never fifty fifty.

You had a hot tub dog challenge, about four thousand more square feet than I did.

And also air conditioning doing well. I did pass one hundred degrees. You don't have air conditioning.

I mean, ok, that's OK anyways so let's, let's try like backtrack our timeline. So I mean I can tell you really.

Yeah. OK, go, go for it. Um I think that we started spending more nights together like the whole sleepover thing and me going to work the next day from here which is a. Oh yeah. Yes. A massive pain in the ass. Yeah.

That was not going to be probably February to March, March to May almost all the time. And then sort of working from home here.

Yeah. Oh my God. You're right. So I actually gave Jeremy a room in the house to dedicate as his office before he had even officially moved in.

That's right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That is commitment, babe. Wow. Yeah. No, that was commitment. Well, commitment on both sides I'd say. OK, well I'll give you a whole room. And you even made a video about it.

Yeah, I did make a movie about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well they shot out Lori away but yeah we started just like having more sleepovers and it eventually just like didn't make sense for you to also be paying rent in a place that you didn't use and half your clothes were here.

You know, side apartments in Beverly Hills aren't exactly the most cost effective investment. It's it's not nor what I think it was.

I spent like sixty dollars and Goober's every day, like back and forth, back and forth. It was annoying. Right. Right.

So it just made sense eventually. And I feel like those are the most natural and like healthy progressions of moving in is when it just like makes sense.

Like cost wise, convenience wise, like relationship dynamic, wise, like that's the time. Like I feel like that was such like a natural transition for us.

And I feel like in other relationships, uh, we like Alex. Jesus.

Oh my God. OK, we're using a name blast over here. We like damn.

Is this a secret to anyone? No, it's not.

And we've talked about this and Alex and I are totally chill about it. Yeah. Yeah. You're making weird about making a weird OK.

Yeah, I know. Alex wasabi. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean it feel like it's not any secret to the public if people actually want to know. There's many conversations in different spots where people could piece together the reason why we broke up. And yeah, I mean living together was was a big portion of that relationship.

That was a point of contention that was painfully ambiguous, but not interesting nonetheless. So let's move on.

OK, great. I would love to. I loved you so much.

Yeah. It's big enough to do your anniversary to to your two year anniversary.

Oh shit. It's my it's my breakup anniversary today.

Cheers. Big cheers. Oh wow. We are starting this podcast.

I'm strong and I am uncomfortable. I have knees, sweat. You always know the pot is getting good when you sweat, lubricate, lubricated under the knees. Do you think I put deodorant on my knee pits? Is that a thing?

So I when I was in Jesus. All right. Welcome, everybody. When I was in high school sports, my feet would sweat, too. So much. Oh my. So much. And I, my doctor gave me a medic like a medical grade deodorant to put on my feet because, you know, when you I had friends that also made me take my shoes off because I take my shoes off and I walk in their house and my type of friends would be so sweaty it would be like you would see it's gross babe.

Yeah, OK. So anyway, so did it work? No. OK, great story.

So I shouldn't try and put you down on my knees because you know you should try. I should try it. OK, great. Next week come back and find out if you're on the neopets.

Makes me next week on Wild's or not. We should get to something that's not fucking stupid. OK, well let's go back to me because I feel like there's so many things like we wanted to touch on because OK, like for me, you're the first boyfriend I've ever lived with and so I would have been one. Slept with two. I would have been, what, twenty six when you moved in and sup with me? Yes, right. Yes, that exactly for sure.

So I feel like that's kind of late to like. Not only I don't know, it depends on your time. I feel like so many my friends, like, moved in with their boyfriends at like twenty, twenty one. And I was like, well, damn, no one wants to commit to me on that level.

And I think you nailed it in that last piece. It's late in comparison to the timeline that you set for yourself.

Yeah, I mean, we're going to we're going to timeline's is like one of our things that we want to cover today, because that is just a whole nother can of worms that we could talk about forever, because it's such like a thing like timeline's such a thing, it's such a thing and is a thing thing.

It is a thing. But yeah, I feel like at twenty six everyone had an experience living with a significant other and I was like damn, I still don't know what it's like, I don't know what it's like.

And honestly it wasn't even for like the relationship portion. Like obviously I wanted that to happen because I wanted a relationship to like progress or whatever.

But I also like wanted to know, like if I was unbearable to live with. So I feel like you learn a lot about yourself. OK, all right. I'm kidding you.

I've ever had been. Yes. Are you just saying that because I might be your roommate forever, yeah. No. Huh? Oh, no. I mean, you will be my roommate forever, but not because of that, huh? OK, interesting.

But I mean, I moved in with a girl. Twenty two. OK, and did you learn about yourself.

I feel like you learn so much about yourself that you didn't realize when you're living. OK, so did you. You live with roommates and then did you ever live by yourself before moving on? Oh, I lived with a slew of men in college. SCU, yes. You've met a ton of men in college and then immediately moved to L.A. with my girlfriend.

The time I feel like I have so many friends who have it, like on there, kind of like mental checklist that they want their partner to have lived by themselves for at least a little bit of time.

So I feel like that's when you learn how to, like, really take care of shit and like, pay your bills, take the trash and you learn how to do all of that stuff that, like you like originally may have been relying on other people to do without, like, actually realizing it.

I am really, really, really good at most organizational chores and this and that. The ones that I'm not good at, I am f student bad.

OK, anything in the kitchen. Honestly though, like when I met you and went to your apartment for the first time, like you having your bed made, it was so neat and tidy and like you had like a set of pots and pans are nice quality and like regular cutlery, like the fact that I wasn't eating off of like a paper plate and like, like plastic utensils.

I was like, this guy has a shit together like me and I'll never use the pots and pans because I used anything. I pretty much postdated every single meal, but I had.

But you had it, but I really took that as a sign and a confirmation.

I was like, oh, this dude is like mature and like has a shit together and I'm here for it. I appreciate that. And I'm going to tell you the real story. I don't think I've told you this.

There was this girl that I was tendering or something an entanglement with. Yeah. One of those, you know, a casual relationship among adults. And I remember thinking over to my spot was going to cook for you. And I was like, well, I have no food and pots and pans. And I remember she gave me the judgment that I while she was in the kitchen, I said I put my phone down. I was like, you tell me what I should order.

Oh, and that was last time I saw her. But I got those fucking pots and pans.

Right. OK, so what did she, like, kind of bamboozle you into ordering nicer things than you needed? No, I was appreciative, appreciative for the fact that she went and picked the ones that were good. You know what?

I can actually thank her because some of those pots and pans have made it to the house. Now they all have. They all have. Yeah. Yeah, they're great. They're much better than mine.

I have a really cute Rachael Ray purple set that Jeremy hates, and he likes his better, but mine are cuter. So I'm still you know, it's up in the air. Lauren, which ones are nicer. Like cute. Why is like nicer looking. Here's a cuter let's move on.

But yeah, I genuinely was like a little scared to move in. I don't know. I mean, it felt so natural for us to like move in together because we spent so much time living together.

But I do feel like there's an added pressure or like a small test of the relationship when there's not a back up apartment to go to if things were to blow up, you know what I mean? If you were to get into a really heated fight and there wasn't the option for you to just fuck off and go home. Right.

Wasn't the option for you to fuck off and go home, right. Well, you know, if we had a fight here, you could just fuck off and go home.

But when, like, that option is gone, I mean, luckily, our house is big enough that, like, you could fuck off to another room and we could probably figure it out and, you know, not see each other for potentially a whole day. Like there's enough bathrooms in this house that we could figure it out. The kitchen might be an issue.

But, you know, oddly enough and I it's fucking insanity that I'm about to say this. We've never been that mad at each other. Yeah, you're right, there really isn't a time where I'm like, get the fuck out of the house right now. I mean, I've never needed space from you.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll come.

You just wait. Just wait. That's a ticking time bomb and it'll come in the form of you leaving space for me, I'm sure. Let's be clear.

But like, oddly enough, we haven't had that yet. And we've been living hip to hip for well over a year now.

Yeah. Like a year and a half probably. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it just you spend so much time here that it just didn't make sense. And I was like, Katsuko, your shit. Oh my God.

And then we moved you in. We didn't hire a moving company and we like the two of us with our own muscles, moved you in, which is like kind of fun.

I mean like at the time, it wasn't fun. It was a workout for sure, because you live in the second floor of your little duplex and then we got a mic flurry and Beverly Hills has old apartments.

I don't know what the idea of what Beverly Hills would be, at least what mine was. Right. But thousands and thousands of dollars a month gets you a place, you precious gift, though.

I was cute and the location was nuts. Yes. Great parking also. It was great. Fantastic. Could it have used an elevator apps a fucking loudly? Yes. Yes.

So anyway, we moved you out, we moved you in and got McDonald's on the way home and it was a bonding experience. We spent a lot and a lot of calories and then refilled those calories. McDonald's. So it was a great experience.

That was the last time we burned a calorie until like two weeks ago. What do you mean you bailed on our last training session. So we've been doing personal training and I've been in attendance at every single workout moving the dates.

OK, we'll move your sheets. You can come.

It's I have to make money so I can pay rent so we don't have any arguments. True. True.

I mean, that's another thing that was so interesting in the truth or drink video that I did with Alicia is that one of the questions was, does Jeremy pay rent?

And I was like, what do you mean, does he pay? I just like couldn't even fathom the possibility of you not paying rent. I can fathom it if we want to talk about that.

Sounds like a great fathom idea actually to talk to, but I guess it's more common than I realized for influencers or creators or whatever who are comfortably living in houses that they own or are on their way to fully owning whatever that may be, and letting their significant others just like kind of coast.

I think that L.A. in particular has a lot of people that come here for a dream. And it's not to say that that dream isn't attainable or realistic, but the process to get to the dream isn't necessarily a profitable one. That's true. And they surround themselves with significant others who are maybe a little bit farther along in the course of that dream. Right. And I think that there's like a initial form of like empathy and sympathy. And then it becomes more of like, oh, well, they're trying because, like, well, they think they're trying.

And then it's like a fuck, you get out, you're not paying money.

I know it sucks because, like, if it's just like it's so tough because if you did find that one person who genuinely is like trying so hard and working so hard and it's like you're doing them such like a massive favor that they're so grateful for, to give them a place to stay and like they'll get on their feet soon.

It's like there's one thing, but there's just such a big population of people who are here to take advantage of someone who does have those assets.

I mean, I think it's hard. I think money is such an awkward topic for a lot of people for sure. And. I get it, I mean, I've been I've been broke much longer in my life that I haven't, and it's one of the things where I think that it's tough for young people who want things to be right, to feel like there's this awkward thing. They can't get up there just in the form of money no matter what they do, right?

Yeah, I mean, definitely. I mean, I've had a few friends who personally haven't charged or will just like not mention rent to see what happens.

I just feel like it's the grounds for such a toxic relationship. I just feel Shihri that I.

You just won't mention Randallstown stop because it I want to see how it was. You see how really fun Gambell. Just roll the dice. Roll the dice babe.

I don't know. I just feel like, I just feel like there's so many things I could go wrong there.

I feel like people use money as an excuse to dictate control in the relationship. So it's like right off the bat if someone is providing a shelter, a roof over your head and they have like the toxic mindset of like I make the shots in the relationship, I don't know. I just feel like things can go so wrong on so many different levels.

Yeah. I mean, there's where to begin. Yeah. But I mean, we don't even have to have that conversation. Like you kind of just like paid the same rent as you did at your apartment.

We didn't have to have the conversation because I could pay rent and that's the difference and change the change the the script on it. And it's like let's say I couldn't pay rent in the beginning. Let's say I lost my job halfway to say I lose my job tomorrow and I put my my savings, whatever. There's always that like we didn't have the conversation because we didn't need to have it. I mean, it's different for people that are in that transition space.

Yeah.

And then it's like I just feel like there's like a piece of me that would never make you pay rent if you had lost your job.

But we're like, OK, hang on, hang on. But you were spending eight hours a day every single day hustling, like applying and interviewing. Like, I feel like that is just like the natural response for someone who's empathetic and like a regular ass person to be like, it's no skin off my back to give you a place to live for, you know, X amount of months until it takes you to get back on your feet.

But I think it just it's the difference between someone making an effort and someone just sitting on their ass doing nothing and just being like, I got off reversely, bitches.

Well, there's a here's my distinction and then we should get on seven. It's a little more lighthearted. But the big distinction here is that you have the ability to do that without it. If you need to pay for me to exist or if I need to pay for you to exist, we could both do that, right? It's not like something where it is a life changing. I am now sacrificing any and everything for my life, whatever, like one of those things where we can do that and still maintain that, like, balance.

Some people can't do that. And I feel like that pressure and emotion just like builds up stress over time and it ruins shit for sure.

I mean, I think resentment is a massive emotion that comes from that as well, too. Yeah. And I think it's hard, definitely. And also, I think even someone who is a billionaire. Right. Who isn't able to not resent someone because they're paying the bill, shouldn't pay the bill, then, like if you're going to let that sink in to everything else, just like permeate throughout all of your other intentions, don't do it. I still have no idea how they do it, but Express VPN lets you watch thousands of movies and TV shows from almost 100 hundred different countries around the world growing up in Canada.

I lived basically on the U.S. border and we, for legal reasons, definitely didn't allegedly maybe borrow a U.S. signal to get access to American channels.

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And, well, let's just say I'll be able to watch New Girl on repeat every time I'm traveling.

From now on, I'm just glad that I can finally tell my mom I took her advice and signed up for a VPN for security. And honestly, after seeing how easy it is to use all my phone and laptop, I probably should have done it way sooner.

You can use our link at Express VPN, Dotcom Wild nine and get an extra three months of express VPN for free. That's Express VPN. Dotcom Wild nine. So not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud of this, but I literally watched every episode of selling Sunset Back-To-Back this week and definitely may have set a new record for screentime.

You know what, though? I take that back. I'm not embarrassed because I remembered to wear my blue glasses to keep me from straining my eyes and getting my usual headaches.

I'm not kidding when I say Bluebox glasses have fundamentally changed what I can get done in a day. I can't believe I used to think it was normal or OK to have blurry vision every night after staring at screens all day when all it took was just wearing blue bloks glasses.

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That's Blue B.L. X.com and use the code wild for 15 percent of all rates on a more a lighter note, what's the most annoying thing I do as a roommate?

I know nothing comes to mind.

OK, well, I have a whole list for you, so you might as well just give me one once you start then.

So one time I almost killed Jeremy like this was this was a Jeremy looked death in the face this day because I was just so shocked at the audacity that you had to do this.

This is the dumbest, most pettiest thing.

I know which one this is, but keep going. Oh, and you don't know which one it is. I feel like I tell a story to everyone. It's so funny. Go ahead. Anyways, so I, you know, wake up and I'm like, oh, a piece of toast. Sounds really good today.

Oh this one. Yeah, this one, you know, piece of toast. That's so good. Maybe I'll put some some peanut butter on it, maybe some jam, maybe a banana if I'm feeling crazy.

OK, so go to the freezer, go to get some bread. Because if we freeze our bread if I eat.

But it's ok. OK. Well we don't really I mean sometimes anyway anyways one of the freezer to go get the bread out of the freezer to put it in the toaster to make myself a piece of toast.

I think we all understand that for sure. Now that anyone is anyone. Everyone's got it. And Jeremy's ass had literally taken the last piece of toast, put in the toaster, made his toast and deliberately left the two butts of the bread.

So the two ends, the parts that no one eats, I would hazard a guess that someone out there likes the. But of the low. And you know what?

I'm sure there is someone who enjoys the bowl of love. But you know that I don't eat the butter, the love that we know. Yes, we had we as we had have you ever seen eat.

But anyway, we didn't have any conversation. Jeremy put the two butts of the loaf face to face, the butts together, two butts together back into the freezer by themselves and just didn't mention it just, you know, slid the MEK in the door, closed and went about his day. And then me being so excited of my toast was just so devastated that I got excited.

I was like, great, here's the bag of bread from the freezer, going to make some toast.

And I was like, oh, I have our butts just.

But everyone listening to this this this story right here is one of the worst things I've ever done, meaning that I am in a plus fucking room.

Oh, yeah. I mean, generally you are tidier than I am for sure.

I'm sorry. Generally I am tidier than you.

How to make a whose laundry has been sitting in our bedroom for five days on clothing racks. It's clean. Whose laundry has been sitting in our for five days. Who has clothes spread across the entire fucking house that are dirty all over the place.

You your socks. Jeremy has this like really fun habit where he takes his socks off at random times of the day and leaves them in. And like random places, like sometimes I'll find a sock on, like the kitchen counter. And I'm like, you're fucking kidding. There's a sock on the kitchen.

Like for someone who is so tidy. And here's the thing, too, is that you're so tidy and so clean that like when you do something that's like kind of gross, it like magnifies it almost. So you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot by being unclean.

I don't discourage your tidiness. I just want to make that very clear.

But when I do find a sock on the counter, I'm like this, what's this?

All right, I'm not going to go through a line item by item the things that piss me off about Lauren's ultimate side. But what I will say is this.

You got to find somebody who's isms aren't nonstarters, right?

And if they are nonstarters, you dress that shit early. Oh, yeah, well, I mean, like if you've seen that someone's a hoarder, like, and that's not your vibe, like you need to get out. I've experienced that before.

Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. They get to what extent? I mean, to have like rooms dedicated to shit.

Oh my God.

I've got a TLC Hoarders is one of my guilty pleasures. I just love seeing the before and after of like someone getting everything organized, but I mean, that's only a different level, I think. Shot at TLC, shouted TLC. Love you on my clients.

Yeah, well, that's a nice thing you to say. Oh, love, love, love. Yeah, but the big thing with Lauren and I is that we are to a degree complementary in the way that we are messy or dirty. Like I'm very I'm miserable in the kitchen. I'm a fucking child. And it's because my mother coddled me from day one. She never made me clean a dish. I never cooked a damn thing. She was just like we cleaned every weekend.

She made me clean things with her. I just never touched the kitchen. It was like, once you get home with dinner, go do homework or go play outside or whatever. And so to this day, I mean, I feel like a toddler taking the first steps.

Every time I watch a dish, there's that that baby Yoda meme where it's baby Yoda holding a spatula and it's like me holding my speeches back, getting ready to flip something. And that is leader. Look at your your Yoda impression one more time.

Me holding his page, getting ready to flip something like that is really good. I feel like I don't know, I don't watch any that's I don't know, maybe it wasn't good.

No, I was always really bad anyway. But I'm terrible and you really pick up their big time for sure.

For sure. And I'm not great in the kitchen. I'm just much better in the kitchen than Jeremy is. So we just we just let me take the reins on that.

I will say, though, that like whoever said, you can't teach an old dog new tricks is absolutely wrong, because I have trained Jeremy to do a few things in the kitchen that really make my life so much better.

Like I hate I hate, like a pet peeve of mine when the sink is filled with shit, like, I don't like dishes in the sink. I don't like crumbs and like pieces of old food in the sink, like just rinse it down.

Just brings it down.

I do just sit down and like if you if you let food dry in the sink, it's so much harder to get off than if you just rinse it down. You're washing your plate off the first time.

And so anyway, so Jeremy has really done a great job of kind of adhering to that pet peeve of mine and making sure that it never happens.

Thanks, babe. I love you. You're welcome. The biggest thing that bothers me about Lauren and I will say this is her because we live in a house where, you know, we have plenty bedrooms and bedrooms are studios and DIY rooms in my office and this and that. And when Lauren's in the middle of a DIY, oh, my God. Production say that production shares the space that I live, eat, breathe and work in as well.

And so any one of these cameras and lenses and lights and this and that can just be spread out wherever the fuck that she leads. Then we've got cords over here, charges over that. My charger over here.

So if you went into our house, you would be able to see that all of our chargers have our initials on them, like in preschool, and there is a place for them.

And Lauren is very good at playing, I don't know, missing charger, magic game all the fucking time. I love my game. You do.

It's so fun. Yeah. No, I'm, I am admittedly a tornado when I'm in the middle of something and I have this rule like burned into my brain or my mom always told me touch things once so that like if you take your socks off, when you take them off, you touch it once and you put them in the hamper or whatever.

You know, you could watch things once. It's such a good rule.

It's what happened to that bitch.

I don't know. You told me socks on the counter touch things. Why was I learned this new thing today? Thank you, Gail.

But I just learned that now. Thank you, Gail. But no, my mom is out of touch. Things want and I genuinely think about it multiple times a day. And I and it probably has made a massive improvement on my tornado issue.

But like, I am a path of destruction in the house when I'm in the middle of doing something. I don't know if it's because, like, I'm thinking about the time efficiency of something, but I'm just you can you can see the path of destruction when I move from room to room, especially during, like filming, I feel like you're pretty bad when it's the when it's shooting days.

I'll say I'm shooting day. It's bad. It's like I just saw the bedroom because I'm picking clothes for, like, the shoe and I'm putting together outfits and then DIY room.

But in the past and every guy ever. Guys know this, if you got mad every time a girl is about to go out to do something where if there's a look required, I don't care if she picked it out three days in advance and has it laid out steamed, I'm ready to go.

She puts that on, I assure you, one of two things.

One, this makes me look fucking huge.

Or two, we can't wear this anymore because of reasons that make absolutely no sense. And your response is a guy is. Yeah, OK, no, I think you look great, but I get it every time. And if that's not your response, fucking learn it quick. Yeah, no. And the process between that and the that that actual end result outfit, nine to ten different items, top to bottom, thrown the fuck everywhere. Beaujon And towards the end you're just ripping things off and.

Yeah. Yeah. And then we're late at the door and then you're like it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. And and then we're on out and I'm mad.

I hate the way I look. I feel insecure and uh. Yeah, yeah. Now you're a great sport about that. I can tell that you've experienced that before in the past and someone someone else, an ex-girlfriend has done the duty that I didn't have to do and has set set the.

Yeah, yeah. For sure. I'll send her a Christmas. Thank you card. Oh thank you so much. Great. I love that. Yeah.

One time I got so my mom too similar to yours, called me in the laundry department, did all my laundry. I had never done laundry until I moved away to university.

And in my first year of university we had a washer and dryer on our floor that we use communally. It was fine. Whatever I survived, it was fine.

And then the next couple of years I moved from apartment to apartment. Mozarteum Laundry was like in the basement or went to a laundromat. My fourth year I had one in my apartment. Buji Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Rich Oh my God. Yeah. So when I got that apartment in Toronto that finally had on sweet laundry, so I was the only one using the laundry machine. This is the first time ever in my entire life that I was doing my own laundry and using that laundry machine. And I was the only one using it, like the only one responsible, the only one contributing to dryer lint. And I don't know if there's a handbook that I just didn't read or if there was a life lesson that I somehow missed out on.

But no one told me that you had to empty the dryer lint catcher. And I'm not kidding when I tell you that I like the fact that I did not burn down the entire condo that I lived in in Toronto is an absolute miracle. I did probably 14 months worth of laundry without doing it, without emptying the dryer catcher.

And like it was it was it was the size of your head.

It was it was genuinely the size of your head, the amount of laundry lint that I pulled out of the laundry katcher when I finally realized that there was something to empty, I didn't do laundry growing up.

I'm not sure what day of common sense. One on one. I did attend tonight. You were supposed to remove the dryer and missed it. But that also applies to air filters in the home.

I remember when I came over here the first time, I didn't know I looked up and we have a lot of white walls and I could see behind the grid just this black tar fucking filter like popped the screen up and like you went last time. You change this, you change what you're about. Your filter before goes the air conditioning. We do change those. Why now?

That filter lasts forever. Like God. No one told me it's taken care of. You will never have to do that again. They always do that. Thank God. Thank God, babe.

I know there's just like there's just some jobs that are that are your jobs and some jobs that are my job.

I have a quick question for the audience and answer honestly. Do you separate your laundry into different colors and I mean lights and darks and bright lights and how many different light is just throw everything in one. Do you separate like a fucking adult because one of us does not.

I separate now. I separate now. OK, so a confession that I that I will I will come clean about is that I, for the entirety of my solo laundry career, just threw all that shit into one load.

And you know what? Everything turned out fine, everything turned. But you know what? You know what actually didn't turn out fine is when I started separating literally my sock, I did it pink this week because there was a pair of sweatpants. We don't need a visual.

No, that's OK. There's a visual for those of you on the YouTube channel, you got to see my pink sock. It's like it's like a light pink tint. Maybe you can even see it anyways.

Things didn't start going wrong until I started separating my laundry.

Maybe because I didn't actually. I wonder if I avoided whites. I feel like I didn't really wear that. Many whites in my sheets definitely weren't white, but I didn't know how to use less generous lovers' bully.

I didn't know how. Use bleach in like a laundry component other than making like a bleach dyed sweater. Some think it's odd that you know how to do that and not know how to, you know, wash them fucking whites. You know, I don't think it is odd.

That's very DIY of me. OK, next topic.

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There's two people, sometimes three, sometimes for now, really, I guess is a lot of combinations. I'm going I'm going to go ahead and say that all encompassing in every relationship, there is one individual. Who's a worse fucking sleeper and fucking bed mate and dirty fucking companion from every fucking time you fall asleep to wake up in the morning?

And that is fuckin Laurie, I'm telling you and I'm telling you with complete transparency and utter honesty, I love you so much.

Your giant pain in the ass when we're sleeping. But you love me, though, right? I love you so much.

You are sweaty, you're loud, you're a blanket hog. You are a mover and shaker. OK, you know what?

OK, hang on, hang on, hang on. I want to put you guys on something that will change your relationship. You saved our relationship when I said you have any massive fights because we found this early on.

This is a game changing component to a relationship that struggles with any kind of like sleeping issues.

So we have a California king bed, which is very large, but that's that's a lot of space for two of us.

And the game changing thing that I need to put you on is I sound like I'm teeing up for an ad right now.

I promise I'm not Izadi, but, um.

So California King size bed.

Jeremy and I both have our own separate queen size duvets. Out of necessity, out of necessity. So we both have our own blanket. I evaluated blanket that I just started using. I love it. And I have like a soft blanket for warmth. And Jeremy has just like a regular pillows. We have our pillows that we genuinely love. Sit this week by the sponsor. We love them anyway when you come back. But we do love improbabilities and it is genuine.

We just like we don't even have to touch each other in the military. And it is so nice because we both hate the way that the other person sleeps.

Real quick, everyone, just take a quick guess. Think about it in your mind. Who do you think of the two of us, Lauren, little skinny, hairless Asian girl, and then me big hairy white guy.

Who do you think sweats more night, which we're just going to think about who you think would probably sweat more at night and then think about your guests and then think about how fucking wrong you are because it's Lauren.

Lauren, it is Lauren. I don't sweat it all.

I'm dry.

I have a perfectly comfortable every night she wakes up, I'm hot and she is fucking dripping.

Yeah. No, I have to shower in the morning because I genuinely I'm like, oh yeah. I don't know. Honestly it's it's, I know that it comes from my dad because my dad is my mom's always like, you're sticky, you're sticky and it comes from my dad, it runs in the family. It's genetic.

And I'm sorry I can't hear any white guy not sweating. Jeremy, literally.

I'm not even getting last night he slept in a hoodie and I started sweating. Just looking at you. That's insane. Yeah, that's insane.

OK, enough about all these things. I want to talk about a juicy topic. OK, so if you already clicked off, you fucked up. Let's talk about timelines.

Oh, man.

You know what? I think it's hard because, like, even the idea of a timeline is something that society has created.

I'd like to go get a whiskey.

Can we pause a week? And I actually have to pee. Great. Great pause. Be right back. Well, little whiskey break.

Oh, my God. You know, when you sit down to go pee and you kind of realize like that, you're a little more tips than you thought you were.

So this next portion is going to be the first tipsy segment of our podcast.

Oh, no, I've been defeated the whole time for sure. No, but I'm saying like. Definitely tipsy. Oh, for sure, confirmed it. Yeah, and so many more drunk episodes to come and we could make it a sponsor.

Mawei we would think anyway.

OK, point is, we love our sponsors this week. We do matters. Yeah. Know for sure. For sure. We really do. That's so nice. Thank you.

That's so nice. Thank you. My engagement ring fund is flourishing. Actually thinks about negative forty seven thousand dollars which we not. We're out of debt now. You're not forgetting the number the first time for speaker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I texted Jeremy when he was downstairs getting his whiskey to get me a snack and he was already back upstairs and I said, OK, timelines, timeline, timelines. All right.

So first off, Lauren has. Well, you have to put me on blast right now, as you've kind of like, as we've alluded to before, Lauren has this like I feel like I was old or twenty seconds and that like we're not living in the eighteen hundreds where everyone, you know, is married and having children at 18 anymore.

But that's not necessarily the case. So to move in with someone. Twenty five. Twenty six. Twenty seven, that's fine.

Oh my God. OK, here's the thing is that like anything you do at any age is fine.

Like I want to be very clear. OK, well ok. Maybe not ok. Maybe I like when things scale to young. Not fine but like if you are thirty five moving in with your first boyfriend ever, first girlfriend or whatever like that is fun. Like that's what I'm saying is that like there's no right or wrong way to do anything outside of like the moral conduct of, like doing things legally and stuff you don't. I mean that gets out of that obviously.

But I, I feel like it's so hard to not compare yourself to other people.

It's almost impossible. I don't even like going on Facebook anymore.

And this is like this is I am so guilty of this all the time, but like I'll see.

So that I went to high school with and now they're having a baby and I'm like, oh shit. Like they're pregnant. Damn. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm twenty seven now as they've probably been, they've probably been trying to get pregnant for multiple years and I'm like, oh my God.

And it's just really like the small town timeline is much different than like the city timeline. Small digression, but it's very important.

OK, I've seen a couple of comments talk about how new parents of kids listen to the podcast with, like, headphones on and they're like, oh, you can keep swearing.

This is mommy's time. Know the real shit. I'm like, I fuck with you. That's so good.

I know this a parent I want to tell us. I want to see. I went to hear about the children.

I love that for sure. For sure. I actually love that.

No, I do. Someone let me every their day of their baby laughing too, like I'm sure not us but like no we're not that funny.

We're definitely not that funny. But they were like laughing and smiling. You being like a happy baby. As she was in the podcast, I was like, I fucking love this.

That's so cute. I love that. Yeah.

If I, I hey baby, this is for you. I effing love that. And you'll learn what that word means later on in life.

We finally love that anyway.

So timeline's so I, I think when I was a kid I had a general idea of what I wanted in terms of like finish college and do that and then, you know, find a fiancee and a wife and then have a first and second child.

And I don't really remember what those numbers were, but I think quickly after I got to, I don't know, nineteen, I was like, yeah, that's going to happen.

We OK, no, try and remember, like when you were sixteen because like when I was 16 and I would think about like twenty six, twenty seven, ten years later I was like, oh my God. Yeah.

Like no doubt I'll be married, be thinking about having kids like twenty seven had this number in my mind that was like I was going to be a I had to be a full grown adult. Twenty seven.

OK, and I think that probably meant like married and everything and and it's no secret Google it.

I've been engaged like there was a world where I was but like the the idea of being engaged any earlier than now feels like, oh, it's rushed, you know what I mean? Does that mean that you have something to ask me?

The panic in your face right now. We already had dinner tonight, so I don't know what else would I ask? The people want to know, can we can we talk about it?

I mean, is it like the sacred E word forever? My engagement? Yeah, it's not that sacred.

It's something we talk about it. OK, but I think we should make a podcast up like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll, we'll, we'll do a we'll do a whole AP on it. Yeah. I think it's not going to be as exciting as you think it is. I don't know. OK, well guys, let us know if you want to hear it eg. Jeremy on.

We'll give him a little peer pressure and see if he warms up to the idea. That's a fine idea for everyone in the timeline.

When are you supposed to have babies. So I mean when I was 16 I feel like at twenty six I just thought that like OK we were just talking about the day.

Is that like I don't know at what age, but there was like a distinct moment in time where I had the idea that being an adult meant that like you're responsible, you are mature, you are intelligent, you knew everything and something just like, like a switch just flipped or something. And you were an adult. And I don't know what age I was when I realized that, like, children just turn into older children who happen to be forty five.

Like, there's no there's no which age it happens. Everybody wisdom does not.

Does not. Responsibility does not. Maturity does not. And it's so crazy like that concept. The day that I realized that it was a 180 for me and something just flipped, I was like, holy shit, I everything that I've known is wrong.

But I will say that I think that to a degree, you have your parents to almost blame for that.

My mom the other day we were on FaceTime and she was like, you know, so nice. But Jeremy said about how, like, us having a stable marriage was like such a goal that you wanted.

But then I realized that I think in a way I was being blamed for your serial dating. And I was like, yes, yes. I think I think that's accurate.

It's no I mean, I'm not secretive about the fact that, like, I was adopted by my birth father was seventeen and my birth mother was fifteen. Right. So, like, they weren't adults. Just because you have a child does not make you an adult. Totally. So it's like I feel like I grew up under the realization at age four or five that like, oh, mommy, daddy don't love each other. They're not going to be together forever.

You're not going to be the super mature thing. And it's like I think I knew that a little bit earlier on. And I think some people just like idolized adults to this, like, oh, absolutely unhealthy about exactly what it was. They're humans, too. Totally. It's OK.

I was probably like 19 or 20, like it was so late in life for me to be like, oh my God, it was like I'm more mature than this forty year old.

I'm sorry.

Well, you also probably didn't I feel like my circle of friends in like eighth grade did everything we could to point out how underwhelming adults were, especially teachers throughout my entire high school. Oh yes. We pushed back on that a little bit.

Oh yeah. No, no, no. I was just there to like learn when awards, get scholarships, whatever it was like I was I was there to be a student. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I all now work with and are doing great. So nerds keep it up. Keep it up. You're doing great. My bendat and our geeks.

Oh my God. I feel like the band geeks are like here for you as a band geek.

They only want to talk about drum corps. Yeah it was Phantom Regiment. I was in Phantom Regiment. Oh. Literally gotten that many question that question so many times from Rockford, Illinois, the home of Phantom Regiment.

I was Infantry Regiment. And for the seventy four people that know what that is on this podcast. Thank you. Thank you for asking it. And everybody else is like, what the fuck are they talking?

I still don't really know. I'm moving on Motown. So I mean, timeline wise, OK, so like timelines I feel like are something that society has created. The only thing that is a little bit real.

What. OK, I go. I'm not going to interrupt you. Go ahead.

The only thing that is a little bit real is that like women's reproductive system is on a kind of like a science timeline of like when things happen smoother than others, what it yes.

Society creates timelines around a lot of other things. But no, that's the one thing that society did not create. Biology and nature created the reproductive timeline.

No, what I'm saying, like a society created like the idea of like you should be married before you have kids that dedicated like you should do this. You should move in together, you should get married.

You should have babies that you don't mean like. But when you think about it, just history wise, contraception isn't exactly a millennial old type of technology. So the idea is if you're only having sex with one person, you would have sex with the person that you're marrying and then you would have a child with that. No contraception. Then you probably don't have a kid with someone you're not married to. So that's why I like that timeline was created.

Yeah, I guess, yeah, no, that that is by that I mean, I'm yeah, I'm just like processing the information, right? Yeah. That's why there's a very natural form, like totally. Which is also like when everyone's like, hey, you should have no sexual partners besides the person that you married. It's like I totally get that in a world where condoms don't exist. But hey, fun fact.

We do have a few options here, which are really fun and we're not sponsored by any of them.

But we could be yet to, like, shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. Oh, like, that's the timeline that was like created. And I feel like we've been running with that ball for a couple hundred years. We don't need to be so serious about because you can have a baby at 20 and 25 and 30 and really up to thirty five.

Yeah. Totally, totally have babies at forty. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean I was just actually talking to so I have two friends, one that is twenty, I have two friends, two friends. That's, that's all I have to in your mom. Right.

So you and Moose and one friend had a baby at twenty two and she you know, like I was like up to date with her experience and how it was and like her recovery and just like how she bounced back.

And I had a friend who had a baby at thirty six I think it was, and hearing her experience and this shit was black and white.

It is crazy.

Being called a geriatric pregnancy and being high risk over the age of thirty is genuinely so scary. Thirty is a geriatric pregnancy.

Maybe it's thirty two or three years is everywhere like.

Oh yeah. I mean nurses are like let us know that's not right. Yeah she was, she was thirty six and she was a geriatric geriatric pregnancy.

But like that idea scares me so much because I'm twenty seven now and I feel like I am nowhere ready to have children like literally nowhere in the realm of having.

I'm, I agree.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Like I there is not a bone in my body. I feel like some people hit a specific age and they're like, oh my God, look, I've got baby fever and I'm like, get that fucking alien thing away from me. Like, I don't I don't want one of those. Give me another puppy.

I don't want one of those dead. Ariel's kids. Pretty cute.

Oh, no, Nero's the West is so sick and I always feel like a little bit cynical every time I'm like, I hate babies, but yours is cute.

Like, OK, this is why we are so good together, because I hate babies, but I know, ok.

Oh I don't hate babies. I don't, I don't roll really bad girl with that girl. If I don't cut it though. Well don't cut it but really back.

I don't hate babies, I just, I don't hate babies and quote Lord I don't hate babies.

I just like like you know how there are people who are when they're at a party and someone has a baby and they are immediately drawn like a man. I need to hold that baby. Yes. I want to just pinch his cheek. Yes, I want to hold him. It's amazing. That's what I smell them. But you know, the new baby. It's amazing. Yes. Yeah.

And I want to say you should take that fucking baby, and I don't want to hold it.

My friend's nephew just had a baby or friend's cousin or whatever and sent me a picture of it. And she's like, I know, hey, babies.

But like, look at the baby. And I'm like, cool, that's a baby. Just like a little aliens. I don't know. I just like I know. I know from like the core of my being that I will love the shit out of my own child.

I just like the little alien baby just doesn't do it for me. And I. I appreciate and respect the love for people's children. I absolutely do. And I love you to take this one back.

I don't know. I can't wait for you. I them. You know what? I have a bottle of champagne later and I don't really know either.

But like toddlers. So fun, so cute. I love toddlers. Think they're so funny and so sweet and like innocent and pure, like the most pure being the entire world.

But just like a newborn baby to me is like very alien like it. I'm like you. My favorite I'm going to say to you here, my favorite mothers are the ones who understand that you might not like babies or whatever, but they're in a public setting and and going to hold them like, no, I hold this fucking kid. Oh, I don't really know how to hold him. You can't hurt him. You're fine here. And they just kind of hand it to you and, like, run away.

And I'm like my worst nightmare. But to me, it's like it's kind of funny because, like, I'm like, oh, I don't want to hurt your kid. I'm not good at it. Like, he's fine. Go ahead.

So my cousin as a child is like a newborn baby was ugly as shit, like an alien looking baby. You were the cutest thing.

I was adorable. I don't know you're talking about Lauren. I love you so much. I think you're beautiful. You're amazing. You're so great. You were not a cute baby. I was.

And your mother will confirm I was adorable. You guys are both delusional. Anyway, so my cousin, hideous baby, like hideous baby and my aunt, knowing that she did not, you know, give it your aunt's money like that.

No, my it's so funny. My aunt so funny. She obviously gave birth to this this baby who grew up to be a great kid.

Right. Great kid. Love him. He's no longer ugly. Who don't. No, no. But as you heard, baby, the one good thing was an alien one. Good one good thing was an alien.

My aunt, my aunt would roll up to her friends with my cousin in the stroller and be like, isn't he so cute?

Just read the expressions and the reactions that people would have to.

Seeing my cousin in the stroller in the is like, thank you. Thank you. So if you have a baby, we don't hate it.

No, no, no, no, no. I genuinely don't hate babies. I just am not drawn to them. Yeah.

I don't want to hold your kid. I don't want to hold your kid. I also I also get nervous for its well-being. I'm like, I don't really know how responsible a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One hundred percent. Hundred percent. I don't want to be responsible for dropping it and it's, it's a lot of pressure and I'm not up for the challenge. Yeah. So anyway so timeline's so I just feel like it's something that everyone grows up having a general idea of when they ideally want things to happen.

But we idolize that shit at the back to the Disney, Nickelodeon, every everything else like totally the winners fall in love with the person that they love and they live happily and they lived happily ever after. Absolutely. Like that doesn't really exist anymore unless it's like like complete like a farce or it's like sarcastic or whatever. Like but like that's how every fucking movie that was in black and white up until nineteen ninety three ended, they lived happily. They a man and a woman lived happily ever after.

And I am here to tell ya there is a lot more out there than that happily ever after.

Totally fucking ok. And it's totally ok. Yeah.

No wonder then I feel like there's so many, there's so many couples and I don't know if it's a female thing or just because I talk to more females about X, I have a lot of female friends who experience it and I feel like there's such like a pressure to like and I don't know if it's a comparison thing because social media can be so toxic around, like being like, oh my God, my engagement, my baby shower, my wedding and the photos that go along with it on social media.

And it pressures other people to feel like they have famo of like experiencing that life milestone.

But it's just like a crazy thing that, like you need to be so flexible and realistic about. And I feel like growing up like learning that like fairy tale story from like Disney movies, it's like you think you're going to meet your Prince Charming and you're going to fall in love. You did. And I did. And I did.

And and you're going a fat rock and then have like your fairytale wedding.

Oh, I thought that part was still happening. Well, we'll talk about it. OK, well, some of that we'll talk about in a bit.

OK, my favorite. We'll get it later. We'll get to it. OK, ok. But yeah, I just feel like it's, it's, everything is so different now and it's so flexible and open ended.

And I mean even if the world wide lockdown has been anything, I think all of our friends who were like either newly engaged or have been engaged, just like. Right.

Let's go to the fucking courthouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. So many of our of our our friends are like either I had a friend. Yeah. Yeah. One of our our a couple of friends just got engaged and got engaged last year, supposed to have their wedding. It got cancelled because the pandemic and had like the most amazing photos from just getting like courthouse wed.

And it's so cool because, like, genuinely, at the end of the day, like that's not the thing that matters, like it's your day to day life that matters.

It's your your partner that puts his socks on the counter that matters.

I will only push back in the sense that I think that some people really do idolize and have a dream about that day. I don't and it doesn't matter for me, but for some people, it's really, really important and really important to the family. And if that's something that's worth that value, I'm not going to shit or talk, you know, negative about anyone who was a big, big day like that. Totally.

But for the people that are like, I guess I feel like I should reconsider.

I mean, I like to get married.

No, not the marriage thing. Just like the ceremony and the things that go into it, the pre and the during and the amount of people that could put a down payment on a house. Right. Or have three hundred other friends at a wedding. Right. Should consider the down payment on the house.

I mean, I don't know. I'm on the fence. I like it. Do what you want to do genuinely.

Like if that's important to you, to have that memory and have that, like, night of your life to like do that and celebrate that.

You're saying this from a position where that you can. That's not fair. I don't know. I just feel like I just feel like some people want that, though. You're a big YouTube and I work in tech.

We can say that. I'm saying this. You have to think more realistically.

I mean, OK, so my mom literally, since the day I've been born, has been saying you should just get eloped. You should just get you just get a little just get a little do that in twenty, just twenty nine.

Oh, my mom was literally like you. You will just disappear one day.

If, if we're not I'll be single again and I'll be talking about the third engagement. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

No, but I don't know. I think that like situational it isn't true. But the thing is you got to know where you're at. Yeah. Know for sure. For sure. I guess if being married is more important and the money's not there, don't let society tell you you need some massive fucking thing to get married. Yeah, it's the ceremony is important. Then go out. Yeah. No, I totally agree. Literally.

You know whose wedding I'm so exciting for. Excited for one day. Zach and Maggie.

Remi. OK, well, I'm excited. I also like and I also like me, but I wouldn't be surprised if they just got, like, Cornfeld and Maggie Bustamonte. Yeah, but the Monday quantity. No, I think Remy is going to have, like, the most insane wedding of our entire lives. And I'm like, this is going to be like coming down from a helicopter on Cruise Remy Cruise.

Right. This bitch, this bitch is going to come in riding on a horse and she didn't get airlifted into the sky so that everyone can see a 360 of her dress. Give me and say she's going to do like four dress changes. Like I already know that Remy is going to have the most insane wedding of our entire lifetime.

And I'm so excited.

And you know what I think? I think it's like I think it's great to have a friend like that in your in your circle. That is that is down for that, because that's that's not me.

So. All right. I'm going to ask questions that are not uncomfortable or uncomfortable, but awkward and then awkward, but not for awkward for us, but I think it could be weird for the outside perspective. OK, I want you to answer within one second.

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. I got me sweat going. At what age? Yeah. Do you to have a kid? Oh, what am I now? I'm twenty seven, I don't know, 33. Giorgos, my mom right now is texting me like screaming at me, my mom would like a grandchild last year, OK?

At what age? Huh? Did you think you were going to be married in high school, in high school? I would. I graduated, what, like 18, 17, 18? Did I not? One second was sorry.

Sorry. I'm thinking back. I'm half a bottle of champagne. And I feel like by twenty seven I probably thought that I would have a child.

Oh so maybe not. Maybe this was marriage but that. Sure. Oh wait. What I asked how old are you.

Oh married. Married. Oh for sure. In high school I thought by twenty seven I for sure. But also in high school there was no like Lordi.

I was not a thing. I was only looking rumaki and I had no idea what I wanted to go to college or university for or whatever. And like there was no world where I didn't live in Ontario, Canada in high school.

So things have really shifted. But by twenty seven I definitely in high school would have been like, yeah. Ninety nine point nine percent sure I will be married by twenty seven.

And how many guys. And this answer will not hurt my feelings I assure you. How many guys have you thought you were going to marry. Including you. If you think that two. Really? Yeah, to yeah, OK, yeah, yeah. OK, OK, OK, so, I mean, how many people look the same question you. But the last question, yeah, three. Oh, interesting, yeah. Oh, I think my high school girlfriend, I was like I had this idea of right and then the one I was engaged to and then.

Me. We'll see if it pans out to TBD. I mean, I think the idea people like, oh, my God, she's desperate.

I mean, I think, OK, just totally change gears here. I think the idea of high school sweethearts is so, like, amazing. And I've seen it work out a bunch of times, a handful of times for sure. And I think it's for everyone. I think it's for some people.

But yeah, in high school, I think I don't know, there was like some realistic part of me that was like, yeah, none of these are for me.

I guess my whole point of asking that is not because I don't know the answer to that. My answer to that is that I've thrice thought that I had found the one right. And I'm not any I don't know how happy I was for the first to admit. But my point is that your I don't know if the one exists. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. I'm not here to tell you that. My my whole point is that I think that we get so fascinated and and obsessed with like, oh, I found the one I'm going to make it work.

Like there's a lot of people in this world.

This is going to sound like maybe crazy, but like I absolutely don't believe in the one I no longer do either. I just don't trust people's dreams. I just want to crush people's dreams. Yeah.

I mean, I just like no, but I actually think it's more encouraging to think about, like, if you're compatible with one hundred thousand people and this entire planet, you know, I mean, it's like for you to be able to meet one of those people is such a blessing and it's so incredible to know that you're compatible with a handful of people. And that's great. I just like I don't believe in the concept of the one I like.

You don't meet enough people to ever know that for sure.

I mean, there's just statistically that would say that's not correct.

There was only one. And there's eight billion people in the world. No one would stay together, right? Yeah.

No, I just to me, there's just a world where the the one for you might be the one until your life changes.

Absolutely. I mean, you grow and change so much every single year. And if you don't grow together and grow, you know, in sync, things change.

It's going to be may it's way. It's going to be in sync.

Oh, it's going to be May.

Let's not uh oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. So someone we talked about is going back to Gail and Donna. Donna, my mother, Gail, Lauren's mother, the millennial versus boomer timeline.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

And I talked to talk to my mother today. She's not happy about this podcast, guys. She is not happy. She is very upset that I'm sharing these terrible stories with everybody. And I appreciate everybody for not judging us, for learning from the past.

And thank you for all of your warm welcome support. Donna's on the fence. She'll be a fan soon. Not yet.

Just a warm up to the idea she is. Yeah, it's out there. But the difference being the boomer millennial timeline's is fucking insane. I think my mom actually is much more in line and accepting of the millennial timeline than yours.

Yeah, I mean, girl is like she she she accepts it doesn't want.

The thing is, is that Gail wants a grandchild so bad, like she's retired and she's fit and she's still so able bodied and she just like is ready to take a grandchild to the water park, to a ski hill.

I think she's ready to take that that child to anything that that she wants to go to. Oh, she is she is ready and like and like this is like why Moose gets like sixteen new toys every time she comes to L.A., but like, she is ready to spoil the shit, the absolute living shit out of this grandchild.

And like I just am so far from that that unfortunately Mom, if you're listening. Hello, I love you. But like there are no offspring coming from this womb anytime soon.

And I'm so sorry. At least not planned. I am so sorry.

And, um, yeah, I just I don't know. I don't think it's that she's she's Ataman and like is like boomer timeline like live together marriage baby. But I think she just wants a grandchild because it's like convenient for her schedule right now.

I'm not keeping you from oversimplifying it too much. You think it's not convenient for her. She just wants to see that happen. Yeah, no, no. She wants it to happen.

But also, like, she's like this would be a great time in my life for, like, it's own. It's not a selfish decision. But she was like, I would have so much fun right now if I had a grandchild.

Right. But I also think that there was a world where the the boomers had children when they were obviously able bodied to do so. And they were like, OK, we finally have enough saved way to, like, get the first house. But I mean, I think she looks at us and she's like, you guys have more than enough resources. Oh, yeah. Have time. You can just hire someone to fill in when you're not whatever.

Just do that and we're just not ready.

Oh, I'm so far from being ready. Like I'm literally so far from being ready.

Yeah. We're also not married so. Right. So shame on you out of wedlock child. Right. And as two virgins the people are like fuck off.

But I think that there are some people and not necessarily we don't really have it, that that we have friends, however, who are. Honestly, I feel terrible for them, for their families putting so much pressure on them to follow this fuckin complete false timeline of what they need to do to be successful and if not, their old fucking news like that's ridiculous. People will be on their time. Don't rush it.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, outside of the the literal by biological or. No, you got a biological clock, I guess. Yeah, but there's a big ol window between 18 and 35.

Yeah. For sure. For sure.

Obviously it's more risky. I get that. But like you don't have to pop things off at twenty three, right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh well on that I feel, I'm feeling stress and feeling stressed a little bit of my ovaries before you wrap it up.

A couple of things. No, these are all good things, OK, so a couple things starting to have a little more conversations with folks about what we're going to talk about. We want to hear the feedback. Yeah. So outside of answering all the ridiculous things, in fact, checking, as for the dumb shit, if you could comment would be very helpful. If you could comment below specific things that you want us to cover and wouldn't. When I say we'd like to talk about specific things, we are experts at fucking nothing.

OK, so when I say you don't like our opinion and like, don't this is not the word this is you should take everything we say with a grain of salt for a very, very like a rock of salt.

We host a podcast. She makes content on YouTube. And I sell software that does not make us professionals at literally anything.

I make crafts, crafts, I sell licensing agreements.

That does not give me full right to tell you what you should do in your life. That being said, will definitely tell you what to do with your life.

So come back next week to hear some more life, like whether it's on Twitter or Instagram or YouTube.

And then we're also starting a Facebook page because there are people that are requesting that I'll do that. I promise I'm getting around to it. It was a busy couple of weeks for sure, but outside of that, the sport's been fucking amazing. People are being so nice once again. And I'm just waiting for people to be mean. They're not yet. I'm just waiting for it. I don't know why you're waiting for that. I also feel like you even putting that in the world is like don't even manifest the mean.

I just people mean sometimes people are mean, sometimes people being super nice and supportive. And they're like the Dems that I've gotten of, like, you know, I really appreciate the way that you described this. Yeah. It's been like, oh, God, that feels good. Yeah.

I probably got one of the meanest YouTube comments I've ever gotten in my entire life today. And I dwelled on it for a long time. You just shared it. You talk about it.

I send it in my my best friend group chat. I said to Jeremy, so did my mom.

Yeah, that person is insecure. And that is actually the the the sad thing was that I think they thought they were complimenting you, but they did.

They did OK anyways anyways. So we appreciate all of the positive feedback genuinely makes us feel so nice.

Got to Spotify and Apple account or stitcher or anything else be popping podding being the podcast. Go follow.

Like don't just do it because that would be nice for us because we're trying to, you know, make a little bit of money on this thing.

All right. So we are going to put a halt, put a pin in all of these self paroma stuff. I read the podcast, follow and subscribe on your streaming platform of choice. I have scheduled sex for tonight.

Great. Yeah, I love that. We sent a Google calendar invite. We didn't actually.

But but that's coming soon. So you have coitus to attend. Do you hate the word coitus so much. Y y y I don't know. Just like a gross word coitus. By the way, Lauren and my mother. You can hop pop now that I'm switching, I have to go. OK, knees sweating all.

Rob, you said something to my customer. Yeah, she asked me if this was the Prius of trucks and I said no. Oh no, it's not. You want me to just lie to a customer? Ravi, you always tell your friends their baby is beautiful and you always tell a soccer mom that she's getting the Prius or whatever the hell it is.

She's cutting room. Room is a workplace comedy set in a used car dealership, not used, certified, pre owned.

It's the story of a you know, I sort of de facto family, but it just happens to be set in a car dealership in upstate New York.

It's about the the friendships, the love that grows and how they root for each other and fight with each other and build with each other.

Listen to it with your friends.

I made it with my Vroom Vroom, starring Andy Richter as Gary Ghalia Ibbett Nicole Brown as Janelle and John DiMaggio as Wild Ride, created and directed by Josh Koenigsberg. Room room available now only on. So, you know, Richard, we cover technology in a particular way, and I think that you guys might also enjoy another podcast called Wild Wild Tech.

You should go and listen to it right away. This podcast isn't just any show about technology.

It's an exploration of what's to come and how weird and wild it is.

Every episode breaks down a different, bizarre, sometimes unbelievable story about technology and how it's shaping our culture. And of course, you don't need me to tell you that technology is everywhere. And I don't just mean in the phone you're holding right now or the GPS in your car. It's in your microwaves, your vegetables, your pets.

The list goes on and on and gets increasingly fascinating and wild. Wild tech dives right into each fascination.

One episode is all about how epidemiologists have studied the video game, World of Warcraft and the pandemic that happened in that video game. So they can be better prepared to fight covid-19, which for some might sound a little disconcerting, but is actually super interesting. They also have an episode about the wild rules Apple has given directors about what characters can and cannot use iPhones in movies.

Spoiler alert, bad guys never use iPhones.

They're still faxing their threats, I guess.

The podcast is hosted by a pair of tech writers who talk to the real people who live through these really interesting stories and experts fluent in the weird, hidden world of technology. So go listen and subscribe to wild, wild tech wherever you get your podcasts.