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Now, Mark, Paul, this is a service we've talked about, we've both used before PayPal, I use PayPal almost daily. What do you say about four? Well, I'd like to send money just to friends and family anywhere in the world.


Yeah, it makes it about as easy as possible. You know, sometimes, you know, there can be a little trouble in paradise at home, not with you or me, obviously, but if you are experiencing a speed bump with your partner, just PayPal them one dollar and say, what's wrong? See if it doesn't turn things around and at least get the conversation going to say, hey, what's what's happening here? You're a big spender, my friend.


I mean, if I that's in my budget to figure out what's going wrong. Itron you know what? I'm going to I'm going to one up, you asshole, because this is what I do. You can donate to a local nonprofit or support a cause from across the country. How about that?


That is pretty good. But I'm going to double one up and say you can also support a small business. You know what? No charity is better, but supporting small business still pretty good. And a lot of small businesses except PayPal go to a farmer's market and often, usually just a cash business. You can use PayPal to buy your produce from local farmers.


We already know this, but PayPal is making it easy to pay safely, quickly and easily. All you have to do is download the app. Today, terms and conditions apply. Welcome back to The Future, I'm your co-host, Daniel Driscol, joined today by Mark Paul Goslar. Hello, Mark. Hi, Daniel. I'm always joining you, by the way, because it's our show. You do realize this, right? I know, but I kind of enjoyed the first one like that.


And I got locked into a little bit. I see what you're doing there, then. Well, I'll do something different next time, but you probably won't like it and we'll have to redo it anyway. I love it, but the audience will hate it and they'll they'll blast you on Twitter. Yeah. So like every other episode I see today, Mark Paul, you brought along a very special guest.


I'm so excited because it's our first celebrity guest.


Yeah, I'm going to get a fact check. That one we had Breckin Meyer. Stachel, come on. U.A. know isn't a real celebrity.


So, I mean, a real God, a real celebrity. We have Nikki Glaser. I'm so excited to have you see what I did there. I'm so excited to have you on the show. We've been talking about this for a while. I'm so glad this is working out.


I am thrilled to be here. It is a dream come true. I have no words. I it's yeah, I meant you because I requested that you appear in a segment I was doing when I was guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live as as a celebrity crush I had in the past. It would be funny for you to appear in this video that I was doing and then you were so nice. And then afterwards we were just chatting after we had shot the thing and you asked me to be on your podcast.


And I was like, just I thought it would never happen. I just thought you were being polite. And then and then it's it's happening and I can't believe it. And it's this is one of the is one of the coolest things that's happened in my career. And that's no hyperbole.


Well, you know, first off, you dream too small. If this was a dream come true. And I believe that you've done some really big things in your career. So I take that as a huge compliment that this means so much to you because I followed your career. You know that I'm a huge Howard Stern fan, as is Dashiell. And whenever you go on that show, I think it's some of the best, you know, radio.


And it's just such a pleasure to hear you on the air. Thank you.


Yeah. Thank you so much for joining us. And speaking of your career, Nikki, you know her from her band Netflix special Train Wreck I Feel Pretty and the Comedy Central Roast, you know, Nikki Glaser.


And now you know you have a credit watch right now. Marc, I'm aware you did your homework. You do every week. And Nikki, I'm aware you also did your homework. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah.


I was I was loving an assignment like this. I watched last night. My parents had to go to bed. I live with my parents right now during this weird time. I'm in St. Louis, Missouri, and and they were going to bed and I was like, I got to watch Saved by the Bell. And they were like, you've got to watch it. I'm like, I got to watch it. And they ended up watching it with me.


But then they were like, too tired. I had a long day and they're like, we're going to bed. And I was like, I'm going to stay up and finish this. And and it was just so surreal. I go, I can't believe I've reached a point in my career where I is my job to watch Saved by the Bell, because it was like I mean, that that's that's that's the dream. So we like to I have to watch say, by the bell.


So what told me that when I was in fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade and watched hours of the show every day and now it's like, oh, I got to do it before I go to. But it was it's a dream. So I had so much fun.


Did your parents remember you watching the show in your youth?


Yeah, well, the thing is, my dad did it. I watched it with my dad a few weeks ago just to gear up. And I showed him a couple of episodes and he was like, I don't remember you ever watching this. And I was like, oh, it was because we watched it when you were at work and mom didn't want to, like, play with us. So she would just like plop her front of the TV and we loved it, but we would watch like it was on after school for like I think two hours.


It was like four episodes. And we watched every day. I had every show memorized and I was completely obsessed and. Yeah. And so my mom, I put it on last night, my mom was singing the theme song. She remember everything. I even wrote down the quote my mom said right out of the gate.


He's a good little actor about you.


Oh, about me. Well, that's a nice little company because he's a good little actor.


And you are. You are. You were. And you are. It was. It's what is I mean, I know you've covered this already, but I'm just fascinated. What is is it painful for you? Because for me, watching myself is is excruciating. And do you have enough distance that it's not so much. No, it is.


Because short answer is it's horrible for me to watch. I, I really think I suck. Your mom's comment went right through my brain and and never had a chance to to cling on to any anything that I believe that I suck. I mean, I watch it and I think boy did that was the wrong choice. I could have done that better and not enough time as. Pass for me to to just I mean, here's the thing, I enjoy the show, right?


I watch it now and it's it's silly and it's fun. And it's it's but but for me as a professional, I look at my work and it's it's hard for me to watch. But the good thing is I like I have a lot of good things to say about the other actors. I'm really impressed with, you know, Mario and Tiffany. And we've talked about Mr. Belding, Dennis Haskins. I think he was just so comedically on point.


But for me, I think I, I looking at it, I go, I really was the weakest link.


Yeah. Nicky, when when you said your mom's comment about. That boy is a good little actor. I was looking at my face. He did not register that as being about himself. Yeah, he really does not like he's so critical of his own performances.


And it's you know, I really relate to that of thinking like, oh, everyone else is better or like I was there. But the whole thing I'm proud to be a part of it. Everyone's good. But I was the weakest link. It just it's the imposter syndrome. We all have it. You think you're getting away with something? There's just no way. You you were so good. You were my favorite part of that show. No offense to anyone else on it, but and even watching it, you're so adorable.


You're so fun to watch. You are so confident. Did you feel confident when you were at the time? Did you question everything do you think.


Yeah. I mean, confident. Oh my God. I was I had such low self-esteem because of that age. I think I was 14, 15. I mean, you know, you do math better than I do, but that was 1990.


I was born in the ballpark at around 15. That sounds right. So close to six. And it was just an awkward period in my life. I mean, this particular episode was called Cream for a day. It deals. And I'm not going to take your thunder away.


Daniel, you will give the summary of the episode, thank God.


But, you know, we talk about zits and as as the show will progress and hopefully we'll get more seasons of this, I will point out, because I will be able to tell when I used to get these big systemic things underneath my skin and, you know, be pretty difficult to to cover up for the makeup artist. But I will point them out. We will have a good chuckle about that. But, boy, did that really affect me, you know, being on film at this age, it was such an awkward time in my life.


And then to have it as evidence that other people could watch it, it was it's sometimes hard to digest. I you know, again, I'm looking at it through a different point in my life right now. So I'm able to enjoy things. But back then it wasn't. It's why I think I didn't watch the show once it was completed. Interesting.


There's no part of you that's old enough now that you can look back and look at like because I know when I see pictures of myself when I was around that age and I hated myself and I just felt so insecure and I can go, oh, you poor thing, you look how cute you were. You didn't even know you were killing it.


You were doing your best. You're still you haven't let up on that kid.


Yeah, no, no, no. I've let up on that kid. But for me to look back on these episodes, like, listen, if we never did this podcast, I would never see these episodes and I'd be fine with that.


Yeah, there's no part of me that says, oh, I should really dive back into that period of my life. My kids watch it every once in a while. They enjoy it. But I wrote in my notes, you know, after Daschle will give the summary, I wrote in my notes things that I noticed about this particular episode. I don't remember this episode. I don't remember filming. But I wrote my new hair. My hair was pretty big in this episode, as well as with the other background artists and actors like Tiffany's hair was pretty big.


Yeah, I think Lark's hair was pretty teased out, but I wrote my new hair. I wanted to discuss how awful my hair looked. And actually Slater makes a joke. He says that they have to kill, that I had to kill three mousses to get my hair done like that. I don't know what came first, whether my hairstyle was like this. And the writers just wrote a joke at my at my benefit. But the other thing I wrote was, I guess you could see this as being a little negative.


But I wrote that the wardrobe and colors of the episode were all at a very high level. It was very bright. And I wrote Zach Morris's testosterone levels were an all time high because my body movements, there's a lot of things that I did in this episode that are very aggressive, like the way I push a door open at the very end scene in the max, the way I said to Kelly, I go, well, that was stupid.


There's this body movements that I'm doing. I'm cheering very loudly in the max, but there's things that I'm doing that I notice like, wow, I was really working through some things.


I can only say that I was going through changes as we're watching these episodes. And that's that's hard. That was hard for me to watch then. It's more fun for me to watch now. But we're also doing this for our podcast.


Yeah, no, I that's really fascinating that you say that because there were moments that I like you that you can see what you were dealing with and those in those moments as yourself not coming out. And I clocked a couple of those, too. Your voice was changing a lot during this episode as well.


But let's see. You are to deal with like.


Yeah, what if your voice would crack, which happens to literally every guy through puberty. Your voice was like going through. Some changes, what do you remember times on set where it would be like embarrassing and you'd have to take it again and stuff like that? Yeah, I actually use that as a crutch at times.


I use that, as we call it, you know, as a trope of mine that I would use to to to get a point across. But yeah. And this one, I think that wasn't a modulation in my voice. When I go see, it was like my voice just like cracked and and it was cute. I mean, I use that as a as a as a tool. Yeah, but but but yeah, obviously I was able to tap into that because my voice was changing.


I mean from episode of episode we're on what episode now eight nine.


This is Episode eight, Episode eight. But the changes that I have gone through since the beginning of the show have been for me pretty massive.


It's it must be crazy to watch this. I really give it up to you for for doing this and going through these, because I know it can be I know it's probably really painful, but I just got to say, as someone who grew up watching it, I thought you were flawless and I was in love with you and you could have done no wrong. Every girl my age, like we all just thought you were just perfect. So none of us saw what you saw.


Take that Mario Lopez and what better Segway to the summer.


There was always a competition. It was always a competition between Mario and I. So I will take that one and I will wear that badge proudly.


Oh, yeah, yeah. In my group of friends, we were all Zac girls for sure. No, Mario. Yes. All right.


Because what Mario boys where I was from. But that's not so because you two both did your homework and thank you.


Just in case you're listening and you didn't do your homework. Here's a brief summary. It's homecoming week at Bayside and Kelly is vying to be queen. Screech God is it? But a chemical explosion in science class removes it instantly. Zac realizes they can sell the stuff from science class to students only. Screech later discovers it turns your face maroon. After Zac gave Kelly a tube to get rid of a pimple, they learn the maroon fades. After a day, Zac confesses to Kelly, who is furious.


He cost her the homecoming title until Zac gets everyone to paint their faces maroon in a show of school spirit. Kelly's crowned homecoming queen at the end. And just like that, we're in Act one. And if you'll notice, we've talked about writers and art department kind of hiding jokes. Zach's locker appears to be the number sixty nine. I wonder if that was a coincidence.


Oh, it's between two sixty eight and 270. His head blocking that that dirty little number. Just a fun little fact. I'm shaking my head because I can't believe you went there on a kid's show. I didn't go anywhere. I sat on my couch and watched what these perverts did 30 years ago.


What about that hair? Look at look at that that poof that I have going on there that was not as big in the last episode. I do like the most joke where you had to kill three moose for your hair because that insinuates that Moose comes from the animal, moose, I thought was a pretty decent, pretty owl.


It's funny because I watch these on subtitled the shows and they actually spelled it out MONUSCO. So they got the joke.


Oh, yeah.


Real quick, this this episode sets up the rivalry between Bayside and Valley, a in series rivalry that just keeps going and going and going. McPaul, it is interesting, you mentioned in the last episode going to school in Valencia, which I would say is Deep Valley. You're a Valley kid. I think fans of the show might be shocked to wrap their head around that one that Zack Morris was, in fact, hailing from the Valley.


Yeah, no, I was born in Sun Valley right here in the San Fernando Valley. I was a total valley boy. And I would look to the south and southwest and see green. And where I grew up in the valley was very brown. And I would just one day I will live in those hills. They called Mulholland. I believe that's where you were, Dashiell, in the greener part of of Los Angeles. But, yeah, I'm I'm a I'm a valley boy and very proud to be a valley boy.


I did move into those. My parents are your neighbors, so we do reside in similar hills now. Nikki, did they have the Valley dialect in Ohio? Did that did that reach your shores or lack of showers, rather?


No. You know, I think this was my first exposure to it. I was watching this last night and thinking, oh, this was probably the first time I heard the Valley accent, because then it was reinforced again with Clueless, I believe the movie, but I don't think before then I had ever come across it. I think this was this was probably the first time I had heard it. I also wrote down something about there was a there was a Princess Diana joke that was pretty.


Did you see that one where it was right before this? Kelly is talking about how she wants to become, you know, the the the queen. And someone says, I'll let you know if anything happens to Princess Di. The do that, I think I think Lisa goes, yeah, well, we'll let you know if anything happens to Princess Di. I mean, this was many years before that, but it was a little like, whoa, record, record, scratch moment.


She signed herself up for a not so fun phone call, I guess.


Yes. I often would let her know. Yes. I guess many years later she's like, oh, God.


Well, I said, I want to be queen. Here it goes. Well, we'll tell you if anything happens to Princess Di. Yikes. Yikes. That's right.


Well, that's one of those accidental history, things like this. There is no way for them to have to call that one.


Oh, it's a conspiracy. I think they were planning it even back then. And we got a gaggle of nerds for a fun retainer cutaway joke. Oh, yeah. Mickey, I'm glad you pointing out the stuff that works for you comedically, because I. I love that kind of stuff. The little cutaway to the nerds, what fun I was.


I definitely wrote down something about this saved by the bell was what defined nerds to me. I didn't know anything about pocket protectors, retainers being obsessed with science like this. This define nerd culture to me. Yeah. He says using the retainer club or something. Did you have a retainer? I did it to my other room. It's like I'm living in my childhood bedroom right now and it's like currently on my nightstand. I tried to like, put it back in my mouth and it doesn't fit at all.


What about you? Did you do any.


I did. Did you have. I didn't have to have braces. Did you. Did you color was your retainer colored?


No, but it does say my name on it.


It's printed on it, which is pretty cool to do it in case you lose it and someone tries to steal in case someone else tries to put it in their mouth because that was a thing.


Remember, if you were like at school and you took it out and you put it on your on your lunch tray, then it would just go away. And somebody that's actually pretty smart because somebody would say, oh, here's Nikki's retainer.


Oh, that is a good idea. Yeah. Possibly return it. Now, I don't know that anybody would do that nowadays, but, you know, back in the 90s, people would return things back when things meant something, they'd return your retainer.


Yeah, I had a retainer. Mine was purple. I don't think I picked that color, though, because I hate it.


You didn't have braces, but you had a retainer. I'm not familiar with that process. I thought he went braces to retainer.


No, because I didn't have my teeth weren't that jacked up, so I just wanted to keep them that way.


Correct. But it's interesting, I, I, you know, as an actor, as a young actor, you rarely see what I'm going to back this up. Back in the eighties and nineties, you rarely saw child actors with teeth missing if you ever noticed. And what we would do is we would wear these things called flippers. And they were basically fake teeth because you'd never saw a commercial with a child with with, you know, holes in their mouth.


Yeah, right. It was always like a perfect smile. Well, if you have a seven and eight year old, you're you're you're missing teeth. We would back then, they wanted everything to look perfect.


So you would wear these things called flippers and and that would mask. There was a doctor I think his name was Dr. Smith. And that that's coming back to me. And he was very, very widely used here in Los Angeles. And he would have pictures all over his walls with all these other child actors, Suleiman Frei. And I don't know why her name just popped in my head, but name names who had the worst don't of the bus.


But she actually had good TV. But, yeah, we would we would wear these things to mask the fact that that we were losing teeth. But yeah, I didn't wear braces, so I was I was one of the problems.


Were they trying to make you look perfect or was it probably more for consistency like I'm going with back then?


They wanted you to look perfect, you know, because this is for a commercial, right? So, yeah, they just wanted everything to look just right.


And yeah, they they didn't want these children to look like meth addicts or. Yeah, exactly. Or if they didn't want anything to look real. Yeah. I was just this fantasy of look at this perfect family and, and look how they love our product and this product can't hurt you. It's baby powder, put it all over your body. And then years later we realize, you know, that baby powder is not good to put on your nuts.


To be clear, though, every thing we sell on this podcast is good and we like it and it's good for you. It will not hurt you. So just to just to be clear about that part. Yes. And we're in science class and there's just like beakers of bubbling color, liquid, not a thing I ever encountered in my own personal dealings in science class.


There's a guy in the background with an awesome mullet.


I just have to give a shout out to that CALLAO. Yeah, but he's in some of the other scenes. I mean, that is straight up awesomeness right there.


I can't believe those just walked amongst us. And like, no one was like, look at that. Like they were just around and no one cared.


I think we took enough pictures where we can still memorialize it. But it's yeah, it's it's one of those things that they just they did they walk to. Monk says what was saying party? Yeah, Business-to-business in the front part of the back. Yeah, and I just think it's funny, like you weren't whispering on set that day, like, look at that extra with that weird haircut. It was just like a normal haircut. So absurd. So many things you see so many outfits and hair choices that you just can't imagine.


You wouldn't get ridiculed walking on set like that. But it was just it was just the way it was.


We learned last week that the twins had to bring their own matching wardrobe to set. So I would imagine most dude brought this hairstyle. He just showed up like that and they were like, all right, yeah, you're right behind Scritch.


So in this particular scene, we get a return of Marc Diamond Dust and Diamonds that he plays the chemistry teacher in this in this particular sign.


Yes, Mr. Bennett. Yeah, he's very intimidating. You guys immediately get back to work. I feel like he strikes fear in your bones, like just by saying, like, I think he said something rather innocuous and you guys are all like, oh, yes, sir.


And the funny thing is, Dustin Diamond's dead, unlike my father and Mario's father was the least intimidating guy you can meet. He was just a big teddy bear. He he was like probably the introduction for me into video games. Dustin and him would play video games and they would have a setup in the dressing room. And between school and work, I would go play video games with Dustin and Mark Diamond. Do you remember any ones you would play in particular?


I'm guessing it was Nintendo at nineteen.


No, you know what? They had that other system that was like the closest thing to a like an arcade cabinet thing. What was that?


You do remember, Dash? It was like not an OS or Nyongo. Nyongo. That's right.


They had, like, the bad system. I mean, it was it was nothing like I'd ever seen before with a big joystick. And we had many hours were wasted playing Nyongo.


I should've gone in this acting thing. It sounds pretty good.


So Screech names his his zet Murray. Not really sure who Murray was or why, why he would name it Murray.


It's funny because it's like an old man's name. I thought that's what's kind of funny. He's like is this new young thing has a an old man on his face.


And I thought what a great way to embrace the the bad things in life is to just give it a name. It's something. And I just love how his acceptance of this thing that everyone else is horrified to get and his excitement around it. I think that was very refreshing and a nice take on it for someone who might be watching it, going through the same thing. And then later on, we see Kelly like want to kill herself over it.


So you get the other side of things. But at first I'm like, oh, it's so cute that he's excited about.


Is it do you remember your first Zipp? Oh, I'm not my first, but I remember I mean, I remember all of them. I mean, it's one of the worst things. I mean, I was Krater face, what's his name.


Krater face. Kober Coburn. Yeah. Oh man.


I mean, I really Zakani is is is terrible and and made me feel so awful for so many years. I ended up getting on Accutane, which was the thing that everyone got on that, you know, just dry you out and people still do it and it completely dries you out and then you never get to see it again. But you go through this period of extreme drought on your face. And I remember you'd have to walk around with aquifer and put it on everywhere because you would just be you would get that rash that they later on get in the episode like your face would be so dry.


And I remember one time I was on Accutane and I was like talking to a boy in high school that I like so much. And if you smile too much, your face would crack like might your lips would get so dry. I remember this kid that I really liked. I liked him so much. I started I laughed at something he said and I like almost bent down in laughter. And when I bent back up, there was a trickle of blood running down my cheek like a Halloween witch.


And everyone was just like, Are you just bleeding from your face? It was just it was it was like, this is worse than having acne. So then I quit the Accutane and then acne kept on going. And it was just a nightmare until I discovered birth control. And I'm like, oh, all you had to do is take this and it goes away. What's all right. So I mean, did you suffer with acne like some for sure.


I mean, I definitely, definitely, like, had blemishes. And then I have, like, vivid memories of like, well, if you just leave it alone, it'll get better and then not leaving it alone at all. And just like like picking it. Yeah. Like like, like you're in like actual horror film of your own design. Vivid memories of that. Yes.


And Paul, you said that you you suffered with it on camera. Yeah.


No, I think I had acne all the way until my thirties. I remember. I remember. In 2008, I was still dealing with something going on on my forehead with like these little bumps and things like that, but yeah, I've always struggled with, like, you know, having something on my face, not having a clear face and having to cover it up. And, you know, you going to do some red carpet event and having to borrow my wife's makeup or something to, you know, get rid of some spots.


I never named my my my big sis. Or did you did you have names for anything?


No, but I think that would have been that would have taken some of the power away from it. And like like, for example, I had a I came across a spider in my bathroom a couple of weeks ago, a big ass spider like, you know, the size of a silver dollar. And I'm usually like, terrified of spiders. And I was like, oh, how am I going to get this thing out? And instead, I just named it.


I was like, Hey, Trevor. And I just like I don't know, I just let it stay there. And then it became like a thing that I saw every time I went to my bathroom. And I didn't even it didn't even bother me. I was like, I have a pet spider now. And his name is Trevor. And I felt a bond with him. And instead of crawling behind my toothbrush holder like he normally would, every time I turned on the light in the bathroom, he would just hang out and we would kind of make eye contact me with his, like, 18 eyes.


And I don't know, like I felt like a bond with the spider. It was really weird. And then and I just by naming him and it might have been a girl like, I don't know, but his name was Trevor. And I'd be like, what up? Trevor and I would just like pee and talk to Trevor. And then I would turn off, like, go back to bed. And then one day, about a week ago, he just like he disappeared and he just left behind a web.


And I left the web up to be like if he ever comes back. But I felt truly abandoned by this spider that normally would have killed because I'm terrified of spiders. But I was like, oh, I think this is the trick. You name them and then you love them and then they leave you.


So the next time I get is it it's going to be money to you know, what I never realized is that they have some really good weed in Missouri.


I've actually I've actually heard if you're in a position where you're about to be murdered, which just bookmark this in case it's ever going to happen, you should immediately tell them your name because it immediately creates like that level of connection with the other person. You're supposed to, like, tell them not just your name, but like I'm from this place. I have this many siblings or kids or like you're supposed to, like, rapidly try to develop a connection.


So you did that with like the spider couldn't do that. You did that with your spider, with Trevor name servers.


Yeah, that's really good.


I think this is a lesson. And when I heard the Murray thing, I was like, that is exactly like me and Trevor and I just so now the next time I get something going, I can't wait. I can't wait to name my next. And just like that, on that note, screeches hastily prepared thing blows up in his face. Um, and we're at the max and we get that side of Kelly being before her eyes. It just, like, truly insecure about her chances of being homecoming queen.


Nicki, were you homecoming queen?


Listen, no, I got I think I got runner up for prom queen. And that's just because I had some people on the inside that told me that I was. But I'll never know for sure. But no, it wasn't like I wasn't popular. I was I think it was by the time we got to prom, everyone had already been named queen of different dances. So by the time you get to prom, it's like all the leftovers. And then I got second place.


So it didn't it wasn't really anything that impressive. But no, I was.


What about you know, I never went to school, so I couldn't be prom king or homecoming king. But did you have aspirations to become homecoming? No, I don't.


I think that I would never even occur to me that that could be something that I could be because I was just not the popular girl and I didn't run with the popular girls. And so I just felt like that's for them. That's never going to be for me. Even though I ended up being on prom court, it was not like a goal of mine because it also doesn't really mean anything. And I think that I kind of saw through it, although I would have I will say that before I went to high school because of, say, by the bell, I planned on being Kelly Chlapowski like it was my goal to wear crop tops every day and like tiny skirts and have big hair.


And and I just but I just remember being like, high school's coming up. I got to get ready for crop tops and then you don't wear nerea crop top all of high school. But I really I thought I was I thought I thought I was going to be like her. But I think Kelly was a great popular girl to have is like an example of what one should do with that kind of clout in school. She was very nice. And and I don't think they always are that way.


Yeah. We find out that she's one of seven. I know. I couldn't believe that.


I was like, that's a lot. And she got her own room. That's a big ass house. It is a big ass house.


But I'll tell you what, looking at this episode, I think I remembered that room is actually Jesse's room and it's actually Lisa Turtle's room.


They were just changed the decor, but the bones of it are all the same. If you think of the door where Jesse has the jeans, hang it up and where Lisa Turtle's father walked in, it's the same room.


Oh, it is. And I was you know, if you look at Kelly's room in this, all the posters, she has so many interests. I mean, she's all over the place. She likes basketball. She likes Tony Hawk. She likes George Michael. She I was jealous of how multifaceted this woman was in high school. Yeah.


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Yep, muffin. That was a choice for sure.


We will later find out. Her full name is Sangria.


That was that was a real moment, I'm sure, in the writers room of like lunch was their time to wrap it up. And someone said it and they're like, that's pretty. It's not going to get any better.


Yeah, we never see those. I don't know. Do we see Muffin and what's the other one again ever?


I'm not sure, but I'm positive if we do see them in the background, no one's ever like, Hey Muffin, do you have the math homework? Or We never hear Muffin again, certainly in the in the run series.


I love that in Zack Morris is trash.


You say in that scene that Zack thinks his his back is a soundproof booth because he's clearly like ogling these girls in front of Kelly who is expressing, you know, how insecure she is. And he's like, you're compared to them, they're compared to you. They're dog chow.


And then he turns around, he's like, hubba hubba. And it's just like right there in front of our other those.


Well, thank you. Yeah. He does seem to the laws of what the audience can hear and the people in the same room as you can hear are fuzzy, to say the least. It's also worth pointing out that perhaps the reason Kelly has a pimple is Slater and Zack each got her one large molted shake and she said she'd drink both of them just to be nice. So that thing where Kelly is a very nice person may have may be the reason perhaps she's breaking out all over her face.


But do you do you think that that's truly what what happens with acne? Do you think what's her theory? Right. I don't think it's anything that we eat.


I think it's a chemical imbalance in your body. Right. It's our hormones or things like that that are going on.


But we were told don't eat chocolate, don't eat fast food, and definitely put on things that completely dry out your skin because that will produce more oil for your face to blow up with more zits. I mean, it was like a backwards thing, right? The drier your skin is, the worse it is for for acne.


No. Yep. I remember all those. I mean, yeah. Don't eat chocolate. Don't eat sweets when really it is hormonal. There's really nothing you can. It truly turns out there's nothing you could do about it and it just chooses you willy nilly like my sister never had is it. Ever. And yet I got cursed with it and it wasn't because and you, you're made to feel like you're gross, you're making the wrong choices. You're dirty like that.


You're not. You're picking your face. You're touching your face. And it's really it's just random who, who, who gets it. And it sucks. But there's truly not a lot you can do for it, which is the unfortunate part. And then you put makeup on it as a woman, which makes it even worse because you're like clogging an open wound with like dirt clay and then it comes back. And so there's just it's but I almost feel worse for men in high school who can't put makeup on it and they just have to have it.


Honestly, we don't even notice half the time. We're just we're just cruisin on through. Everything's fine. And you don't feel bad for us. We're we're totally fine.


I promise I would wear the tinted acne stuff, whatever they had that it was a little a little tenderness.


Take away the redness a little bit. So, you know, I kind of wore makeup in high school. You did. On set.


Yeah. Yeah.


Because I was young, I didn't want to walk around with with the big shiner on me.


I think that's so smart. I think there's so many guys who are opposed to wearing makeup and makeup works and it makes people don't notice it if you wear it the right way. I mean, how many guys think that women. Oh, I like this girl. She's never wears makeup. She's got a natural look. And you come to find out she was so much makeup because you see pillowcase the next day and it looks like it went through a color run the night before, you know, like so we're tricking you with our makeup all the time.


I always encourage men, especially my guy friends. I'm like, can I just put a little bit of concealer? You'll feel confident. You won't feel like you have to, like, cover up your face because of that's it. Like I empower men to wear makeup and I know that you probably know from working on set makeup does make you look better as a guy like don't you think.


But would you be offended? Is it is it offending if some if a man walks up to you and says to you, wow, you look so good without makeup on when you actually are wearing makeup?


Well, it's not offensive. It's just like. Oh, I just I feel tired by it because I'm like, you don't know what you're saying, like I have so much makeup, but I usually just tell them, like you, you're wrong. I have so much. And I, like, rub it on them. Like, I'm like, see, do you see this? It's an illusion. And then it gets me sad because then when I'm not wearing makeup, no one no one really ever says that.


When I'm not wearing makeup, it's like you just you look younger without makeup on. I will say that as a woman when you don't wear makeup because kids are the only people not wearing makeup. So when you look when you don't wear makeup, you look closer to looking like a kid and that's that's all. But, yeah, makeup is it's it's it's it it works wonders. It's truly an illusion. And and you can look way better than than I just know so many men that that will do their first TV spot.


I work with a lot of comics who don't usually do a lot of TV, but they do one appearance and then they they get makeup and they they leave it on the rest of the night and they take it out on the town secretly because they're like they have they have like kind of eyeliner on for the first person. Like guys look good with mascara. They really do if guys wore it. Well, I think I'm going to be completely honest with you guys.


I just came from work and I did not wipe off my makeup because I said to the makeup artist, he said to me, he goes, Here's a wipe. You can wipe off your makeup. I go, no, no, no, leave it on, because I'm doing a Zoome with Nikki and Dashiell. I left it on guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


Because I wanted to look, you know, somewhere near my best, more presentable.


Yes. I leave it on.


I think guys to try out makeup would occasionally do videos of Funny or Die and I would have the same reaction when I would get the wipe from the makeup chair. When it was done, I'd say, you know what, no, I'm taking this for a test drive.


Hey, get out on the town. I love that. Yes.


Also, just worth noting, historically, I believe Nixon lost a television debate, the first televised debate, because he did not have the awareness to wear makeup on camera. We can fact check that one. I'm sure I'll get lit up on Twitter. I got all the details wrong, but I'm pretty sure about that. When he did not understand that wearing makeup on camera would make you look better in the American people said, who's that?


That's sweaty, weird man on my feet and screech back in the halls of Bayside reveals that Murray's gone.


We get another F joke from Screech. This was the second elf joke.


I love his delivery on that. What does he say? Oh yeah. You found out Alf is a puppet.


Yeah, that goes. You found out Alf with a puppet and he goes he is his he is was so good there. He had a couple of great lines in this.


So Deshotel you since you know the show better than I do, we eat a weird sentence, but yeah, sure, we eat lunch at the max between during school hours.




Yeah. So I was I took I take notes on, suffice to say, some peculiar details at this point in my essay by the Bell Watching. And yeah. So they the timeline as established in this scene is two hours from science explosion to Murray's gone. Any of that would seem to imply they leave campus to go to a diner to order food. It makes zero sense when you break it on down there. That is the world they're setting up in a basement.


And I'm pretty sure that I had no idea what I was saying when I delivered the line acne, glasnost. I didn't know either I had to Google that one. I've never I never heard that before. So I know if it was just way over my I didn't catch it.


So we're basically what I'm saying is acne cover up. Right. That's that's the gist of that joke. Oh, yeah.


I mean, the quote I have here for our listeners, in case you didn't do the homework on your homework, is from Wikipedia. In the mid 1980s, it was popularized by Gorbachev as a political slogan for increased government transparency in the Soviet Union. And I would imagine it was not that transparent. So, yeah, a cover up seems to be when I'm. What I got from that, too, but only after Googling it and reading that quote three times every once in a while, I feel like the writers forget that we're a Saturday morning show.


That's the thing writers will do is try to be like real smart for no particular reason. It can. Boy, oh boy, can that just ruin a joke that never worked in the first place and have a joke for the parents watching.


Like a little nugget for them. Yeah, and the good jokes are parents, at least for my money, will also work on the kids. They just like have that parental layer on top of the kid ready joke.


And then Krater face Coburn, this character. First of all, Krater face implies, I think, acne scarring, correct? Like, that's right. Like that's the crater. So it doesn't make sense that it has that sort of way. He would still be crater face because the scars would still be there. So I'm poking holes in crater face. Coburn the name, because they're not craters there, craters after they're gone.


But this was done really well because clearly this actor had clear skin before this happened and now he has zit cream all over which hiding the zits that are apparently there and apologise to anyone suffering from Krater face from nothing else so cruel.


And he's creator faces who's he played by Dashiell.


Oh, so glad you asked. He's played by Scott Foltz. This is a one and done appearance from Scott Foltz. He also played a young Buddy Holly in an episode of Quantum Leap. And that's about all I got on Scott Foltz. He's plagiarizing, though, that laugh from Robert Carradine, Revenge of the Nerds. I just wanted to point that out. His trademark laugh.


Yeah, it did feel very much like that. Revenge of the Nerds left. Totally. Also, Jason Bateman gets a shout out in this episode. And of all the celebrity like name drops in nineteen eighty nine that are still just fully relevant today. Jason Bateman was on the Emmys last night. Jason Bateman, still a rock solid celebrity, namedrop 30 years later.


I couldn't believe that I was really impressed that because I wouldn't have known who that was when I was watching this back in the day, there's so many jokes that would have gone over my head. The Gorbachev joke, especially in fifth grade when I was watching this. But Jason Bateman, I had no idea who that was. I wasn't watching whatever show he was on. But now I was like, oh, my God, Jason. They mentioned Jason Bateman from Arrested Development.


They knew.


Yeah, that would have been my reaction in the mid 90s. Watching reruns is not understanding who Jason Bateman, but then knowing post Arrested Development, who he is.


It's amazing how many things you let slide when you're a kid and you just let Dayal. I mean, I had this all memorized. I know that I had all of this dialogue memorized and there were so many jokes I didn't understand. And you just I guess I just didn't ask an adult who might understand. I was curious to figure out what that meant. I just was like, oh, it's just adult stuff that I'm not supposed to know yet.


Yeah, you weren't watching with the cell phone in your hand to immediately access any information that was at all confusing in any direction. I don't know about you guys, but I had a cell phone. Oh, look at you.


Someone at your right. There was one person involved in the show who had a cell phone in their hand at all times. And just like that, we're not too and it's Kelly's room. And we get that reveal, which Nicky you alluded to before, that this is just like while Screech is proudly parading Murree around, Kelly is ready to jump off the tallest building in the Palisades.


She's hiding in her bathroom. She won't come out when really Lisa and Jesse could just go in and the scene could happen in there. But they have to get her out somehow.


Is that her bathroom or is that her closet?


Oh, I think in show it's her bathroom the way I feel like it was. But also, look at those posters. It's like one is just hot air balloons.


And I love how they're trying to get her out of a closet. And there's a picture of George Michael right there. And they're like, come out of the closet. Come out of the closet. Ha ha ha.


She has multiple skiing posters. I don't know why I'm so I'm just fascinated. You're right. It is clearly Jesse's room. But it is funny the way they just decided she's like an enthusiast of everything, every which is really the Kelly.


And do we have an appearance of another creepy doll there? There is, yeah. It was it was real quick, but there was a very creepy doll hanging out on her windowsill. Did you have creepy dolls growing up? No, creepy.


I did. I wasn't someone who was like into dolls or stuffed animals or anything really, like cuddly or. I was I was always jealous of girls who could have a thing that they always needed and would bring them comfort. I wasn't good at keeping diaries. I didn't do anything of the typical teenage girl. Did you guys have any kind of comfort animal or I mean, I guess you didn't have dolls, but you could have just like you wear makeup.


Yeah, I mean, I had I have like a little blanket that I like to to rub my nose on. Yeah, that's sweet.


It was called my no name and I would just rub my nose on it and sniff it. And actually my kids oddly enough, do the same thing with with certain things of theirs.


So it's like a soothing technique. It's Yeah. To rub my nose and make sure that all the germs go directly into my nose. I have two blankets. Mirthala, that's very odd. You had a blanket. I also had a blanket and one was blue and one was white. And an early, early memory is one of them, I believe the white one just flying out a car window on PCH, never to be seen from again. And a real quick, early lesson as a child that like sometimes things go away and they're not coming back.


Everyone in the car just kind of looked at me and was like, yeah, that's a that's a wrap on good old blanket. We're not doing this, even if we could. Yeah, and just like that, we're in a fuzzy pink fantasy where Kelly can see her, her just truest, darkest fears of of muffin living a happy life. Or maybe that Susie, I'm not I'm not sure.


It wasn't really clear which one was. Oh, I guess at the end it is. So, yeah, the girls are coming out and then she comes out and she has a one of those clown noses, the ones that celebrities wear now for Red Nose Day in support of like cancer research. But hers is sparkly. I mean, she looks amazing with it, yeah, it's a really nice clown nose. It's like the finest they had, certainly.


Yeah. And the guys are just disgusted by her. Oh, no, she's she could never be loved with that thing on her nose.


But then we learn the reason why she wants to become homecoming queen is because her mother was a homecoming queen and has a crown of her mother. And she says she would just want to be she just wants to make her mother proud. That's I felt a bit of sadness for for Kelly at that moment. I did, too.


It gave us a little history there of where this all comes from and where her insecurities stem from.


And then they then they go. If you keep playing it, she goes, look, this is my mom's homecoming queen crown. I want her to I want to make a proud they go. You don't need a contest for that. And she goes, yeah, maybe not like all of a sudden it goes away, it's like, fine, my mom does love me but I still want it.


We learn a lot about Kelly than we unlearn it. And then we learn something new, which is that she has six other siblings and as you point out, but still has her her own room. And that's a fun little joke. Just no one will notice it. And then, boom, next scene, Screech talking to her about zits right away.


Yes. Now, when I watch your synopsis of this with Zack Morris is trash, you seem to insinuate that Zack and Screech or Screech use the knowledge of her zit against her knowing that she had that. Did he get. Do you think that was malicious or do you think you actually noticed that? Because I don't think there is. Is it I don't even think makeup, the makeup department even faked one for that scene.


Yeah, no, I would say that was a liberty with the day we took the ball park at.


That was that was one of those massaging the details for Sorcerous or so I'm selling Zet off for fifteen dollars.


Right. Which in today's money from nineteen eighty nine would be thirty one dollars according to the the first money calculator I could find. Thank you for doing that. Yeah, no problem.


Well this is the Palisades so it's a bunch of rich kids. We've established that. No.


Yeah but I just want to point out like Zach Zachs turnaround time on this thing is phenomenal because he got the briefcase and the poster and even a hat. It's like he really went all out.


He was able to package and like, put the concoction inside the package. I'm like, how did he do any of this? It's pretty. It's a pretty incredible. And it's it sells like crazy, everyone buys her face at once, Krater Face emerges with his name that now you pointed out, makes absolutely no sense because it wouldn't fix the creators.


No, it wouldn't. He'd still have the creators, but his skin as clear as day and end, Slater says, no, this is clearly an imposter.


Right. To which creator face says no or Zach says no. Give him what? Give them your signature laugh. And then he laughs and they all go, Oh, my God, that is him.


Yeah, everyone goes absolutely nuts for this tube of cream. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just money in there. But I guess he's making lots of change and them or everyone has exact change because 15 dollars isn't easy to like. Really. That's a good point.


Yeah. You would not carry fifteen dollars, you probably have 20.


That's a and all of the cream is still there. None of it went away. It's all still in the briefcase. Not nary a bottle but I saw was was sold.


I'm losing count already. I think this is the what. The second hallway money making operation Belding's busted Mark Paulsen's. We got started doing this podcast.


I've lost count all the clothing auction I believe and we're at eight episodes in. But yeah, I think this is Belding's like second hallway bust. Right.


Sorry, I'm just looking at my hair and how my bangs are just peeking out from underneath that hat. I just I'm, I'm, I'm floored that they let me out of the makeup chair like that.


I'm just wondering, was that my choice or their choice? Actually, I do remember the process that I used to do to get my hair, to get that sort of wave up front. I would wear this visor and it was like a plastic visor that didn't connect in the back. And I would wear that in the morning after I took a shower and I would put it up on to my hairline and allow the front of my hair to kind of fall over it.


And then I would spray that and then I would drive. My parents would drive me. And I remember I would crack the car window open a little bit and let it just like kind of blow.


And the indentation that the visor would make on my hairline would kind of create this, like, wave going on at night. There are pictures online of me that I have seen where I'm wearing a visor indoors, obviously, and that was my mechanism to get my hair to look the way it did sometimes.


My gosh, you engineered that look. That's actually brilliance. You know, I have done my hair in pretty much everything that I've ever worked in except for my last season that I was on mixed ish when I when I had this, like, longish hair, I allowed the the hair stylist to do that. But every other show that have been a part of I have been the one to do my hair.


Why is that one?


But, you know, it's I don't know. It's interesting. I just have a thing about my hair. I'm never quite happy we go back to the, you know, never quite happy with the way you look kind of thing. And there's my hair is like such a a thing with me, you know, it's like I think we all do this, but we all look at it and we we see something that someone else can't. And that's how I feel about my hair.


It's a lot of times why I will wear a baseball cap because I just can't get my hair right. And I don't like the way it looks and probably looks the same as it did yesterday. But I put a hat on to to, you know, kind of cover up, whatever, whatever. I'm not whatever I don't like seen.


Yeah, I get that. That's fascinating, though, that you were the the mastermind behind that. So I'm wondering if the moose joke, if you came up with their style and they wrote the joke around your stuff, the style that you came up with.


Yeah, I would say that the writers were trying to hurt me and it worked, guys. Now, remember every single one of you.


I bet I bet there were some jokes that were made that were pretty painful at your expense or at the other expenses of the other actors.


Did you ever do you remember ever feeling that way, like, ouch, OK, I'm sure we'll get to those episodes and I will definitely point them out. I don't remember them off the top of my head. So I'm sure that the writers, you know, they they definitely wrote to our strengths and they I'm sure they'll write to some of our weaknesses. I do think they protect us in the most part. But it's funny, that joke about the the three moves, I'm wondering what came first, the hairstyle or the joke.


And I think it was the hairstyle because in the previous episode it was starting to get that little bit of, you know, kind of looks like a rose sort of on my forehead.


But yeah, my hair was always a thing. Always I mean, I would change it based on what I saw in school and what was hot and and, you know, at the time and we get to this later on when I think when I'm sixteen, seventeen. But the Vanilla Ice, where it was. Long on top, and then he shaved on the sides and I think Zack Morris had that hair for a little bit because I was a fan of Robert Van Winkle.


Now, what about your wardrobe? Would they give you options and you would get to choose or would you kind of like I'll I'll do whatever with that. Were you a little more choosy with that?


No. Even to this day, I'll go in for wardrobe fittings and I'll just say, you know, put me in whatever I'm fine with. Whatever you put, you know, that the wardrobe is definitely and I'm not that way with makeup either. I never I never really tell the makeup artist or or that, oh, I think I need a little bit more powder, you know, could you could you darken this up or lighten this up? I really don't care how my face looks.


It's all about the hair.


Yeah. And back in buildings office he's convinced to create her face is just like walking proof that this stuff is legit.


I tell you that that made me laugh. The chuckle, Charlie. Oh, I miss that line. Beltline doesn't believe that that's Krater face. Coburn And to convince him, I say chuckle Charlie. And he gives his he gives his laugh. I just love that that moniker because it's a trucker name. When I'm on the road.


America chuckle Charlie, when you're in your RV, you're going to be like, this is this is chuckle Charlie, come on. Come on.


I love it. He said how Mr. Belding gets so excited about Belder sell if we named it that is Zack really had a way of of just feeding his ego in a way that would that would make him trip out and kind of look into the distance. Oh, yeah. It could be called Belder to this thing. I had nothing to do with.


And Dashiell, that's almost like the first time that we use a time to to create an emphasis on something. Right.


Yeah. So last week with the that substitute Tony Crane, we got like a cartoon ding when he smiled kind of thing. Like he smiled. No, like pop and yeah. Then we get Zack kind of creating sound effects in the air for building to see and experience again, just fun, sort of cartoony real life blending stuff here going on. And building just cannot help himself. He's just got to rub that stuff all over his face as soon as he is dabbing it on.


And that's a lesson that as adults, you'll deal with blemishes, too. Yeah, you know, there was a lot going on here for kids.


If you were trying to wrap your head around like acne, you're like, wait, Mr. Belding, as I.


So then we're in the bayside hallway and Kelly needs to buy some zit off for a friend.


And she says she'll pay any price you need. Yeah, and that's where I get Zack look into the camera.


This is the stuff dreams are made of winks to the camera and she's buying it for a friend. Zack does that. He knows that it's for her, even though she clearly she has nothing on her face.


I'm surprised they didn't put a little dot on her nose just to give us something.


We had non noted non celebrity Breckin Meyer on a couple of weeks ago. And there seemed to be some talk around like the leads, not wanting stuff on their faces unnecessarily. So maybe they were going to and Tiffanie was like, no, you're like, OK, I didn't think about it like that. The scene works fine even without some stuff on your face.


Yeah. And then Screech comes in with his face being the school colors maroon. Mm. And I think he's about to break character, right. Yeah. The corners of his mouth for sure. Yeah.


Also, the raspberry pizza, like, wouldn't a pepperoni pizza have the same like, I was so confused by that joke, but I go, actually, who doesn't like a raspberry pizza, if that was the thing, if that was a thing.


Right. So, Nikki, as a professional comedian, how funny does saved by the bell feel to you now?


You know, there are moments. I look back and I go, what was I cracking up as a kid? And I was I definitely was. I thought this was the funniest show. And there's a lot of stuff that is not doesn't hit me in that way anymore because this is obviously a show for kids.


But I will keep coming back to the fact that you all were fantastic comedic actors. And so these lines were I learned a lot in that way. And I still can appreciate the delivery of lines and the timing you guys had and the expressions. And so I think more than anything, it was a really impressive. That's why the show worked so much, was that you guys were all so good at comedic acting, which is not easy, not easy at any age, especially being good.


Oh, yeah.


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If you want, Neum doesn't tell you what to do and what not to do. It teaches you how to look inside your own mind and make better decisions for yourself.


And I don't know if you realize this or not, but we're all human. I mean our audience. You're human. If you go off track, there's no shaming. Just tips to help you get back on track tomorrow.


Chat with your goals, specialist and neum community to get and give help to people going through the same things so you don't have to change it all in one day. Small steps make big progress. Sign up for your trial today at Neum. That's A.M. Dotcom. Zach, Zach Neum Dotcom. Zach, what do you have to lose? Visit Neum Dotcom Zach to start your trial today. That's Neum Dotcom Zach. So, Daniel, we're talking about a product that we've spoken about in previous podcasts, one of my favorite companies, one of my favorite products, really, alpha brain.


Alpha brain. Now, do I need to tell you what alpha brain is?


Well, I mean, my memory is just rock solid because of alpha brain. But in case for you. Yeah, thank you. But in case you're listening and you have not heard about Alpha Brain Charlotta, let people know it's a nootropic it's a dietary supplement that helps support certain brain functions, including memory, mental speed and focus.


It makes you more clear it's not like a pre workout supplement that makes you feel jittery and amped up like caffeine because this is caffeine free, right? Yeah, but you're going to remember things you don't remember names and places and focus on complex tasks. You're going to think more clearly under stress. You're going to react more quickly.


It also it helps with what's called the flow state, otherwise known as just kind of being in the zone. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me about on it and they they want to know what's the product. They should try first, because on it does carry a few great products, great gear, great nutrition. And I always tell them alpha brain, because it is one of their flagship products, over one million bottles have been sold.


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And that's not just 10 percent on Alpha brain, although you should certainly give Alpha Brain a shot. It's 10 percent on your entire order from on it. And that again is on it on dotcom instant and use code. And it's actory and Zach has just thrown Scrooged in the mascot costume, I guess no one needed it that afternoon. Also, if you'll notice in the background, everyone is an acid, acid washed denim.


Like it's like a whole crew, just like. Yep, even on the steps back around every single place you can look.


I also want to point out that there's Yuri Hanle delivering a line.


So he got paid extra that day when these two extras came in and had these two lines, I was like, oh my God, that was such an exciting day for them. And then they run off a little bit too quickly and they're like, we nailed it.


Yes, I get to see that around the corner being like we did it. That's so true. It would be so exciting.


And then Zach slaps screech A little aggressive with that slap, but we would do that. We would always try to hurt each other on the set. We were boys. So I'm sure that I was I was really trying to see how much pain he could tolerate.


And he also was like basically a helmet on.


Like, it's like he's going to be fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm pretty impressed. He walks off legitimately without being able to see in front of them. So kudos to to Dustin for making it off the set without bumping into them.


And Kelly comes back into Nikki's point earlier. The the cream worked. But how would you ever know. Because her face is exactly the same. Right. Which is to say blemish free. And you know what?


Maybe this is just saying, like, all of these insecurities are all in our head and maybe no one can see the things that we see about ourselves that are so terrible. So maybe that's the point of never being able to see Kelly's blemish. It was all in her head to begin with.


Wow. I'm going to go with that. It's pretty profound. That's that's definitely better than I think the reality, which is like that's fine.


But now we're in Zach's bedroom and screech is cured once he takes off the tiger mask.


Yeah, the tension of screech having maroon face didn't really hold too long. I mean, you know, good to know these. He didn't permanently scar everyone to Basad. So then the next scene is in Kelly's bedroom, and I, I come, I knock on her door and she says, Zack, what are you doing here? I always find that odd that we didn't like when isn't the process where and I never used to do this because I didn't have any girlfriends in high school.


But you would knock on a door and then the parent would come to the door and then they would say, oh, you're here to see Kelly, let me go get her and alert her that you're here. Isn't that usually the normal the standard procedure? Yes. Not just saying, oh, you know what? Oh, you're here to see Kelly go up to her room. But but step over the other six siblings to get to her room. Don't mind them.


They're like these little pop up tents in the hallway.


But I think you're right inside that house. I think that's why, like Clarissa explains it all, that kind of they eliminated that that problem because Sam would always come to her window. And then later on, I think Zack came through the window sometimes. So you would you would not you would bypass the parents. But yeah, he would just show up and. Yeah. Can we you didn't have girlfriends in high school?


Not really. I didn't I didn't date all that much. I know because I wasn't really a kid in high school. I just wasn't there. And no one was really a fan of the show and no one really cared that I was an actor.


Now, because, you know, being been in the industry, it wasn't we didn't understand what that meant. Nowadays, everyone knows, like being in the industry, you equate that with fame and attention and things. But honestly, more people were, I think, more impressed by, you know, the jocks and people that were that were popular in school, but that didn't carry any weight when I when I went back to school that, you know, that people in Ohio were watching my show.


And so. Yeah, be me.


Yeah, it that's fascinating. So, yeah. So people in your high school weren't watching, say, by the bell at this time?


Not really. I think if they it was one of those things like I probably would have got my ass kicked.


I think if they knew that I was an actor or, you know, on television, it was kind of like, oh, you're one of your your you wear makeup.


One guy would have had to run for my life. Oh, my God.


That's so fascinating. All right. No, I didn't know I didn't know the level of popularity until much later on. And the show once it was syndicated in 1996, then it gained a lot more popularity. But again, we didn't have social media. We didn't have I didn't I didn't I didn't know who was watching this show. And I assume no one was watching the show.


Yeah, because you just didn't have a barometer to to to check.


You're in the bubble of Hollywood where everyone's kind of in it and no one really thinks anyone's that special that's doing it.


Sure. But Nicki, also this. I didn't feel like I was in the bubble of Hollywood because this was a Saturday morning show. It wasn't it wasn't a primetime show. You know, we weren't being invited to the Emmys. We weren't being invited to parties and industry parties. It was like we were sort of on the on the on the sidelines on the outskirts. So it never felt like we were we were a part of that party. Wow.


So when was your first girlfriend? Oh, gosh.


I'd have to remember. I mean, I did date someone in high school, but it was never I don't think we ever kissed. It was kind of awkward. Yeah. I don't I don't really remember. I mean, I got I got married at a very young age, too.


And I think that that was one of the reasons why I was just so I was so surprised that I actually found someone, found someone.


But my my ex-wife and I met we met when I was 19. She actually was on an episode of the colleges. And yeah, we and I was married by twenty two, so I didn't have I was nothing like Zack Morris.


Again, that was a character that I created watching popular kids in my high school.


But yeah, I didn't, I didn't really have too many, too many girls.


That was, that was more Mario. Mario is Mario. Mario had a stable of women.


Well you you played it so well. I mean it just came so naturally. It seemed to come naturally to you. But it really is fascinating that that wasn't the life you were leading. And it's I relate to it a lot. Like I I'm someone who gets on stage and talks a lot about sex and a lot about dating and seems to have had so much experience with it. But I too, in high school did not have any boyfriends. I didn't kiss a boy until I was eighteen.


I didn't have sex, does twenty one. I didn't have a boyfriend. I was twenty four so I. It's interesting for me to project all of these things onto you that did not happen, and that happens to me a lot, too. So it's just I appreciate that about you because you fooled me. Well, I'm an actor, that's that's my job. Yeah, good job.


I would imagine, though, I would imagine, though, it's got to be hard to date a comedian like yourself because do you do I mean, when I watch your specials, are you talking about your past experiences?


Yeah, I mean, that that is a thing. Yeah. Yeah, I am. I don't have many of them, but the ones that I do have, I tend to really talk about it at length and really get into detail. And so it's the guys that I have dated have been very cool about it and they don't mind it and I'm so appreciative of that. But it's it's I just got lucky. And now I'm realizing now that I'm single, it's like it's very hard to find someone given what people know about me and anyone who is interested in dating me goes back and looks at my work and is like, well, I don't want her talking about our sex life that openly.


And and I understand now now that's what I tell myself when I get rejected is like, oh, they're scared about me talking about them on special. It's not because I'm, you know, unlovable, but it is it's very intimidating to date someone like me. And I'm just now realizing that. And that's not that's not why I'm like, oh, I got to I got to try something else. Because this I would like to have a relationship that doesn't I would like to have a relationship some day and not scare off people by being like I just say everything on stage.


And if you want to date me, sorry, I'm going to have to deal with it. I don't think that's very fair. But it's it's hard because that's kind of the career I've built for myself.


So just to be clear, you're not unlovable. And also people don't want to date you because your vagina looks like an accordion.


So you've established a world where anyone who doesn't want to date you still has the time to watch all of your work. You've still enough enough runway room to watch everything. They've enjoyed it.


Oh, man. When I yeah. I don't want anyone to like I rather people not watch that stuff because I just feel like, you know, if, if people if if you were, when you were single and people just only knew Zack Morris about you, not that I am playing a sort of character on stage. And when they expect that out of me, the person I am on stage, like on a date, I'm not going to deliver in that way.


And I'm certainly not going to deliver in the bedroom that way. I mean, I'm honest on stage, but it's I'm not like some sexual dynamo that some people think I am. I'm actually very shy offstage. And it's yeah, it's it's it's it's hard to to figure out what to do with all of that, because I think that I put so much into my career and haven't put a lot into the other stuff. And now I'm I'm reassessing everything.


Oh, this, this podcast, this is turning into something else right now.


I think it's just very, very simple, though.


I mean, if you're dating Nicki, just don't break up with her, right?


It's like it's like La Cosa Nostra. It's like once you're in this is for life.


And we get Zak confessing in Kelly's room, he's wearing his you know, you want to wear some somber neon stripes when he goes.


And this is like a rare as Kelly surrounded by literally here, like we're No. One foam finger for zero sports team in a million sports items like tennis, ball, soccer, everything. She loves it. She's, like, really angry.


And she is kind of a rare kind of a rare Kelly like display of anger just in series. You don't really see that that much from her.


Yeah, she she's upset and then. Yeah, Zach gets mad at her. Oh this where he calls her stupid. Yeah. Yeah. And she stands up for herself. I like it. She cancels their date. Yeah.


She like almost curses him out just like you're your bad man. Yeah. Like she really is the most wholesome person.


Oh and this, I liked this lately. All you care about is your looks. He says.


Yeah he's calling out like the thing from the max or he is like kind of, you know, holding up that mirror but yeah. Like from the homecoming queen. Yeah.


And he tells her, like, you're the most beautiful girl in school. There's nothing to worry about on all you care about your looks. I just I kind of loved that moment. I thought it got pretty real. And she wants him out of her life. Then he comes back. Are we still on?


She's like out. Yes. As men will do. Yep.


You do get Zac coming clean about his feelings for Kelly when it is kind of like a sweet little reveal in they're like heated exchange that he really does think she is just the prettiest.


I know. I thought that was so sweet. So I'm confused because I didn't go to normal school. But is this where they usually make the announcement for homecoming queen at some diner or is this done at school like, well, what's the process here?


The way they use the max is perplexing. It is like just the more I understand about schools and campuses and also private businesses, it is it is truly bizarre. They utilize this restaurant. So Slater gives a pep talk and I can swear that he looks right into the camera after giving that pep talk.


Let's let's go to tape. That is my thunder. I just want to point out what. Yeah, he does. He definitely does he does like a valley ask a nod to the valley chair, right, looking right into the camera.


I don't accept that you notice the most specific thing, like in well, in watching this show with you, Mark. It's remarkable. Like the tiniest things you pick up on I just would have never seen in a million years because all it's all about me, right.


Correct. And we're getting the news that muffin sangria. Who is the muffin sangria. Who is the brunette? Didn't see that one coming. Sound like a blonde name. How dare you? I don't know. It's just fun. And Susie is runner up.


So it didn't matter that Kelly's face was maroon. They think she painted it for school spirit.


Oh, is that what's happening? Like, can you talk through the logic a little bit? Because it it seems if I understand it, like two things happened with this plan, half or more of the student body already must have had maroon faces. And then also Zac painted the rest. I'm like, it's. Does either of you understand, because I was confused, I think that Kelly had already earlier in the day revealed her maroon face. Everyone was on board with it, still voted for her.


She still won. It didn't affect anything then. But is everyone else's face maroon because they bought the cream and they're also having maroon faces because they all about the cream or did they paint it?


So what I think is that half the school had their face chemically altered to the maroon color from the zit off. And then Zac gave paint for the other half to make it look like a school spirit.


Yes, OK, that makes sense. So.


Right. So Kelly wins because she's A, she's beautiful. And B, she has the school spirit all over her face.




Debix, which we don't see where she makes this the shift where she suddenly accepts herself, though, and is like, I'm OK with this. She goes from being very angry with Zac. And then suddenly she's like, OK with it.


No, but Nikki, that's because we need her insecure, secure for future episodes.


It OK, that makes sense. Yeah. She never makes like no one makes real meaningful progress.


And so ever a baseline, it just it just not what they do that we realize that Mario has many more talents.


He's now beatboxer this kid, I swear he has muscles, he plays the drums, he's a dancer now he's a beatboxer. Yeah, they really do showcase a lot of Mario's talent and then you get this dancing, like, what's that move that they're all doing?


Yeah, I do want to say, though, that when he started, if you go back and listen, when he starts beatboxing, it gets a laugh from the audience. People kind of think it's a joke at first even. And I had to go back and listen. Go. Is that do they think this is hilarious, that he's beatboxing or are we all supposed to be like, that's cool. Like, what was the vibe, do you think?


Like, this is cool, he's doing this or this is ridiculous because it literally gets a laugh from the audience of like, is this happening right now?


I don't yeah, it does get a laugh. But I was I think this was around the time I was a huge fan of the fat boys and the fat boys did a lot of, like, beatboxing and that that thing where somebody actually does it right after Slater beatboxes They do this like.


Oh, that thing. Yeah. Yeah. And that's say, yeah, that thing. I can't believe I actually pulled that off, but I don't know if it is at Alonzo that does that or if it was Dustin Diamond that did that. But somebody does that in the background. So I think I think once he starts beatboxing, it's like, yeah, people are getting into it. And I think a bit of a laugh, but I think back then, yeah, this was pretty cool.


All right. Yeah. Also what it's it's nineteen eighty nine. So like MTV is now just barely playing hip hop videos. It's like the, the tides are turning a little bit of like what is hip hop and pop culture. So maybe someone starts to beatboxing. You like don't know, like there's some real confusion about what I'm what's my reaction supposed to be.


But then everyone embraces it and they get out and dance and then and then the whole then everyone that was just watching. I think it's a sweet reveal that I remember as a kid being very entertained by the fact that, oh, then everyone has their own faces, brings it everyone together with everything that's happened with the blackface controversy. This did bring a little bit of it made me go get, get, get, get, get this. I can't.


But it was all done. Not in that way. And it's only triggering in hindsight. But it was it was there was a moment there.


I think they wisely put some Bayside students who are not white at the front of the they did students dancing, they front loaded specific choice for African-American students with the paint on their face in the front wise decision.


Wow. I didn't even notice this. Oh, yeah, I noticed that right away because it was like someone was like, oh yeah. Because it's there is to be clear, there's nothing wrong about this scene, nothing wrong with what they're doing. But it is like so next door neighbor to something that could be wrong. But they took some precautions to address that.


Yeah, that was a good choice. This did not age as poorly as it could have. Yeah.


It's a few things. Yeah. Right there. DaShawn my my my. Cheers. Very aggressive. I think like I said, the testosterone level was was elevated during this particular episode.


You know what I thought about that? I was like, you know what, I think this he was just glad he was going to get to go home soon.


And he was like, let's do this. Let's finish off the scene. Like, I don't know if you saw this out of sequence, however this went. But I just picture this being the last shot of the day and you get to go play video games and you're kind of like, yes, this is almost over. So you're like, yeah, all right, let's go. And that's what I saw in that. But I do love that you you call out those moments of like this unbridled teenage angst kind of poking through in these moments, seeing I was almost going to buy into your theory that it was the last scene.


But I was I was looking to see if my face revealed anything once I turned to Belding and I was in character and generally I would I would have known if I was out of character and then turning had to get back into character. And I was in character that entire time to my reveal to Beldin. So I did try to try to see if that if indeed I was like Mark Paul and then having to be Zack Morris. And I think I stayed in.


That was for some reason I thought that that was Zack Moore's choice to be that cheerful about us winning against Vally.


Yeah, maybe you were still trying to figure out who he was and what made what excited him. Because it did. Yeah, it was it it did seem out of line with who he was, but I liked his school spirit of that moment. However, I am fascinated by what what is it right now and this moment that you can see a side shot of yourself because we saw it from the back and you go, maybe love wasn't in character, and then boom, you see yourself.


What makes you know, I'm in character here?


Well, it was because I'm cheering and it seems so out of character. And for a split second as I turned, I would have had to have changed my just my body language. I guess I'm just going off of what I'm seeing myself to because I've seen other. Times where I'm out of character, maybe I'm giggling at something and then you have to kind of quickly go back into character and I, I don't know when I when I watch that that that shot of me going towards the door, I was trying to notice, like, what was I doing with my body?


Why was it why was he so aggressive with my chair?


And I couldn't figure out. And I was I, I don't think I was I don't know what I was doing.


That was a choice you made for him, but. Yeah, maybe be done. Yeah. I was going to say the director, maybe Don Barnhart told me to cheer louder and play it that way. I really don't know.


I think it fits because Zach was the one in the end who came up with the face paint idea that got everyone on board with Kelly. I mean, you really were a hero in this moment. So I think it goes with that that that whole thing. I, I think you're proud of yourself for getting it together. Look at look at Mr. Belding shaking your hand. And then I love this this reveal here as is, is pretty sweet.


We knew this was coming. So we're not just dating. I wondered if I wondered with when I was a kid, I knew it was coming because this was a this was a sweet reveal for a kid that didn't see it coming. Oh. And then he turns and it's got all the maroon dots where he put the cream on. And then here she comes. My sweetheart, I don't even accept this kiss, by the way, when she kisses me on the cheek.


It's our first kiss.


I kind of. It is, yeah. I recoil like watch my body language. When she kisses me, I kind of like a oh, that was a kiss.


Or was that you cheating your face out to camera? I get your full reaction. Um, I don't know. I don't know how comfortable I was being kissed at that, you know. And after that kiss, we get, as I mentioned before, maybe the budget on this show wasn't through the roof, didn't exactly have the cash to go film a real football game or ever see the field. So we get this like fun black and white footage and we find out that the base had won.


Yeah, they won the game after twenty three years because the town was so distracted by the maroon face, says the other side, distracted, being like a euphemism for truly terrified of what arena of hell they had.


And they came over the hill from their safe, safe valley. And that's the episode guys.


We did it. We actually did our very first celebrity guest appearance and it went off without a hitch. I told Nikki, I said, listen, this will be a thirty to forty five minutes top. I think we've got a record as well. This will be our longest show.


I mean, it's all because of me. I ask too many questions, but I just have I'm a fan and I had too many questions and I had the best time I really did this was this was one of the most fun things I've done over this period and in quarantine with at my parents house.


And it's just so apropos because I grew up watching the show amongst my parents in this same house. So it's this was this was so much fun. You guys, thank you for having me.


I thank you so much for for doing this with us. And please, if you have a favorite episode that's coming up, reach out to me and and we'd love to have you on.


I didn't want to ask, but I will definitely, definitely come back if you'll have me in a heartbeat. So I will let you know.


Please do. Thank you so much, Nikki Glaser, for joining for truly the longest, which must mean the best episode we've ever done. I hope it's OK. You know, it's great. I really enjoyed it. And thank you so much. Awesome insight from a fan, from a lifelong fan. It was really cool to hear. Thank you, Mark. Paul, we do have homework for next week. It's Episode nine pinned to the Matt Mark Paul shot in the dark.


And I guess what pinned to the mat might be about.


Well, I can only assume that it's something to do with Slater because it has that's a reference to wrestling. This is an fight. Yeah. It's not our fight yet, though, right? Is it the one who throws me down?


We've got to we've just got many roads to go before you hit that fight.


But it is you are correct that it is something about wrestling, that the one weight is the fight when Zach's shirt gets ripped. Yeah, I think I started ovulating that day. I never heard that shirt being ripped. Well, that's about as smooth a Segway as they could possibly be to close out this thing.


Thank you, Nikki Glaser. Thank you. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week. Zach to the Future is a production of Caden's Thirteen. It's executive produced by McPaul Goslar, myself and Chris Corcoran, production and direction led by Terrence Mangan, editing and mastering by Andy Jesuit's. Engineering and Production Coordination by Sean Cherry. Artwork by Kurt Courtney with illustrations by Jeff MacCarthy. Marketing is led by Josephine Francis with PR by Hillary Shoop. Thanks to the whole team at age 13 and to you for listening.