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He's an charge. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Christmas episode of Armchair Expert, our third, our third joined, of course, by the maximum mouse, Monica Padman. And then, of course, it wouldn't be a Christmas special without her. Kristen A. Bell, welcome to the program.


Thank you for having me. I'm always. We haven't had you on this year. Yeah, well, you guys have been booked solid from what I've seen on the family calendar.


Yeah. You haven't had to bail us out yet this year, which is lucky for us.


It has been one of the major joys of my year to watch you to come home so excited about the people that you weren't even reaching out to anymore. Monica, that we're just reaching out to you guys, some heavy hitters, big time. You guys had some amazing people on this year. And to see the two most important people in my life see not only their dreams realized, especially for both of you I know are like hard worker is part of your core values to see you manifested it.


It was a part of this year that I will look back upon fondly amidst a year where it was kind of a garbage fire.


But yeah, seeing what you two have accomplished and put out into the world as a mama has made me so very proud.


Thank you all. Certainly I think I speak for both of us. Exceeded any wish I had. OK, this year.


Well, yeah, I think it was a good lesson because before this year we were pretty adamant about never doing a remote interview. Yeah.


People had asked if we would.


We said no, but we learned that we should just be flexible because we've done remote interviews all year and they've been some of our favorites.


Yeah, it was a learning curve, but I think we kind of got there working out, like when people can talk, when you can talk the whole resume of it all.


But it saved us.


We were so lucky to be able to do our job in quarantine. What a huge gift.


We are going to celebrate our first Christmas and our new house. We think perhaps we hope it seems possible.


You know what I've learned this year? Construction takes a long time, like cement. When you put cement somewhere. Oh, you've got to bring it from somewhere, OK? You've got to make it wet and then you've got to make it dry. And those things take a long time. So if the driveway is ever finished, Yashar, I think we'll live here. You learned that this year.


You learned that last year, the year before that and perhaps the year before that. It's been a long curve for me to learn that. But for four years.


Yeah, well, we've been recording in the guest attic above the garage of the house we've never lived in for three years, almost three years now. Yeah, but we do have Christmas trees in there.


Would you like to share the twenty twenty Christmas tree grab story? Wow. Sure. Yeah. What a what a disaster.


Do you mind if I pepper in some details. Keep me honest. Okay. Keep me honest. Yeah. Yeah. So generally speaking, going to get that Christmas tree is a well-worn tradition. We always have fun.


We love it. One of the best nights of the year. Absolutely. And then in keeping with this year, we got in the truck, we went over to Home Depot.


They had routed all the traffic into a one lane situation because there was a semi truck parked in the other lane. And I let you out to go purchase the trees so that we would be at the front of the line by the time they were purchased.


And a bit of a context we were getting in post a discussion that needed to happen about prioritizing each other, mainly from you to me, where we there was like a tiny bit of tension. Why are you laughing? That's so funny with it.


Yeah, no meaning. You got to get your priorities straight. And I was like, understood. There was a tiny bit of tension there. We were coming back. We were coming back. And that's fine. We do that all the time. It's an ebb and flow in a marriage.


And we got in the car and the Home Depot parking was what it was in that one lane, like sort of like a pickup line. And I didn't bring my purse because Home Depot is very close to us. And we had a mouse. That's what I did, bring my wallet or anything in my purse.


So you say go pick out the two Christmas trees you want in the parking lot. I'll get in the drive thru line. And I said, oh, shoot, I didn't bring my purse. Can I use your mask? Right. So I take the one mask, put it on, go pick out the Christmas trees and I give you my credit card and I take Texas credit card. Yeah.


Now I'm in the Christmas tree line looking at these gorgeous Christmas trees and I hear, oh, well, before we get to that point, can we can I tell some of the baby steps before? Yeah.


So someone tried to go down the wrong way of the one lane. There was not room and this woman drove over an enormous curb where there's planted items. So there should not be there. A car should not be there.


And now the car is precariously on top of this curb and she's beeping and yelling at all of us that are in this line to everyone go in reverse, which is simply not possible at Home Depot. And I'm telling her very nicely. At first you got to back up. There's no this is one way now, and she did not want to do that, and then she starts didn't help that we were driving the biggest truck that you have.


Like you said, it was a loaner. Yeah. Yes. Borrowed a truck. That's enormous.


You borrowed this truck and we were like, oh, that's perfect. Before we give it back, it was up in two weeks. Before we get it back, let's use it for the Christmas tree. But it was like a raised looks like a monster.


It's huge, beautiful power wagon. It is. But a power wagon ran.


But people can come to conclusions. I mean, I have about someone who's driving a monster truck down the street, like, oh, that might be a certain type of person. And again, that's a reminder not to do that.


So it's very, very nice a bunch of times. And then she kept just moving her car forward and she's again precariously on the median. So my fear was that she was going to get one wheel over and then just blast right into the side of the truck. So and again, it's not my truck. It was my own truck. I feel like I'd be a little less worried about it. But anyway, then I got out and I very kindly said, you're going to have to go backwards.


And she rolled up her when I was yelling at me, Bob. So I got back in the truck and I said, OK, I'm the a variable in the equation that's got to change because she is not going to do that. I start backing up, someone else starts backing up, then another person, and then I try to get wide so maybe she can come off this thing. And as I'm doing this, she starts clapping out the window in a very antagonises.


Well, I think you're you're missing the bulk of the story. I mean, so let's cut back let's set the scene back in the Christmas tree.


I'll gorgeous smells like pine you to love. Douglas my yelling started at the clapping I had brought you right to the yelling.


OK, got it. So I started hearing screaming and I hear funny enough my husband's voice and another voice and I'm like, oh OK. Oh.


And then my immediate thought was I can only control myself. He can fight with whoever he wants.


I need him in a mask. I am shooting right now. I need him in a mask. If he is going to be speaking to another human being that is outside of our pod, I need him to be in a mask. So I dropped the Christmas tree. I've got my hands. I run out the Home Depot parking lot.


I'm like trying to hand the mask, but I get there right as the scene was dwindling and the fighting had subsided and both members were getting in their car. And yes, to be honest, and I'm the person that usually will expose you to the other person's side and go, well, honey, she just was trying to do X, Y, Z. She was asking to go down the wrong way in a one way lane and make a bunch of other cars that were in the drove up line movie.


That's crazy.


And then as I was trying to accommodate. Right, she then puts her hands out the window, starts clapping. Oh, I guess you could do it. She's yelling at me and then she starts to go forward. She still is not ready to go forward. So she starts coming forward and she does start coming off the thing and she just barely misses hitting the truck. And that's when I was like, you got to fucking stop moving your car and let me die.


I heard the word dumb ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was that was a dumb ass.


And then let's cut to the B story line of this Christmas horror film happening simultaneously to this.


Both children have removed their seatbelts. They're in a wrestling match on the front seat of the truck. While all this other stuff is how they're so into wrestling right now.


And one of them kicks the rear view mirror. I'm like trying to look out the window. This woman who's about to hit me and the kids are kicking items inside the truck. And it's altogether just too much for me at that point.


So when I finally get around this gal, I say to the kids, you know, I asked them ten times, please stay in the back seat. Please stop fighting the truck. Please, please, please, please, please.


And then I tell them I'm going to sit outside the truck. You guys do whatever you want in the truck, but it's too much for me. I'm going to sit out in front of the bus fare, try to remove myself from the stressful situation, get out from the truck now. The windows are down now they're both hanging out the window. They're screaming now. Delta's hurt now. Delta screaming and crying now.


Lincoln So you got to get my dear. He she's hurt. And I'm saying too bad to add she's hurt. One of the kids opens the door into another car. And I'm like, oh, my God, they just dented a car.


I come back, OK, got two tickets. We got two Christmas trees this year for I'm super excited about it. I'm walking back to the car.


I see my husband hot faced trying to calm down, which is what you should have done outside the car.


I was nervous for everyone inside the truck if I stayed and the girls are banging on the windows, banging on the door, screaming, crying when they get mad at me and they scream, I hate you, Mom.


They run to their bedroom. Right. But they don't understand that adults need to do that to that. Privacy is really important when you're feeling heated.


So I'm like, oh, OK, here we go. So I get in the truck first. I hear them out.


They have a lot to say about grievances, a lot of grievances about dad, how he handled it. And then also they spoke to me in a violent manner. She knew to throw in violent temper. I I'm frightened. She's got a good vocabulary. But they didn't leave out the attitude of the other driver.


You came in to deal with the crisis that had unfolded between the three of us, and they were smart enough to hit you immediately with my misbehavior towards the woman.


That was the first order of business. But they. Told that truthfully, they were like and she was leaning outside her window, clapping at daddy and sarcastically smiling and that was rude and I said, OK, let's start there. That was rude. So Daddy was put in a situation or was in a situation that made his temper flare and he was in a situation where he needed some privacy, just like when you need to run to your room. So they calmed down and I'm like, there's nothing to be scared of.


Everybody gets mad. And then we talked a little bit about how you don't need to absorb anyone else's energy. If someone around you is mad, you can choose to react to that with like, oh, this person needs a moment. So we get that lesson out of the way. We go to the house and I walk inside the house.


I carried this little planter in from the old house and I set it down and were doing the tree unload.


The girls are currently watching this show on Disney Channel called Casey Undercover, which is an old Zendaya show.


And it's got a lot of also mix in Lincoln. Just watch two of Jackie Chan's classic. Oh, yes. So she's also very into kung fu, right? Kung Fu is off the charts.


So they've got wrapping paper rolls and they're wrapping each other with it. And it's very violent. And I'm like, listen to me. Just go in the other room. We're trying to get one hundred and fifty pound Christmas tree in the house. They're getting on both of our nerves so much.


Everybody is at a ten of overwhelmed.


We're trying to water the tree. The tap stops working in the house. Then we had to figure that out. We finally get in the car and, you know, we drive the one block back to our house.


And DAX looks at me and he goes, oh, my God, what a night. I get my credit card back.


Oh, and I went, Yeah, let me just check my voice mail from my jacket, maybe my jacket, jacket pocket, maybe. Oh, I don't have his credit card.


It's icing on the cake. And now this is where the context of we had just come off of a discussion about I need to prioritize the right things.


So the fact that I did not maintain knowledge of the location of this credit card was comical.


I was very calm. Oh, you were? I didn't care at all. No, it was me. And you said, OK, I'm going to go check at the other house. I said, I must have set it down in the mayhem of trying to get the girls calmed down. He goes checks at the other house.


I'm putting the girls to bed. He says I can't find it anywhere. And I text him back. I am so fucking embarrassed. And he said, don't worry about it. It's only a credit card. I said, no, this is an indication of my mindlessness and I need to find it. So then I text you and I say, can you come over and sit with the girls for ten minutes? Because at this point it is eight thirty.


I work in the morning at six a.m. I'm ready to have a coffee and take my flashlight out and retrace every step.


And I was going, I was like, I'll bring some coffee. I can do this. I will find this card tonight. This will not be a scar on my record again, repeatedly.


I'm telling her it's totally fine. Don't worry, it's not going to hang at the house for a minute. Chill.


It's about me. And then you didn't respond within, like watching the crowd in the other room that happens.


So I texted Laura, who's also in our pod. I said, I just need you for twenty minutes. Can you come over and sit with the girls as they fall asleep? She came over.


I go outside. I mean, all the raw dirt on our new house property where the cement again, which takes a long time, is yet to be laid. I am in the garbage can looking through like the freeholder that we got a walk inside and I'm like, I am so sorry. We hug, we laugh about it. I'm teary eyed a little bit as I'm walking out. I look at the planter that I brought on the original trip and sitting right next to the planter is the girl.


So I had found it. I said, in retrospect, what a perfect twenty twenty Christmas tree grab.


Yeah, very on brand. Very, very own brand.


Twenty twenty delivered right to the Maui. Well it was a very stressful evening.


I talked with the girls, I was like even though tonight felt scary and stressful and we were all crying at one point and we were all sort of yelling at one point. We still have to maintain how grateful we are because like, you know, L.A. has a big homeless population. I said, do you think if you went to any of those homeless people that live right near our house and said, hey, you can have this house and these opportunities for work and this loving family, you just got to deal with one stressful Christmas tree night.


Of course, they'd say yes. So let's still maintain how grateful we are. And now we look at it and we can smile.


But, well, it's memorable. Yeah. Certainly some of the previous Christmas trips have been forgotten, but I think this one will be lodged in there for a while.


It'll go down in the books. Yeah, it could have been a movie. Yeah, maybe it will be. Maybe you write a movie about it.


Oh, about our trip to Home Depot. Christmas, Home Depot.


Now, Monica, this is a very sad thing for you, this will be your first time not going home for Christmas. No first time ever. What's sad? It is sad. I was really nervous to tell my parents, but I decided I don't think it's appropriate to fly right now. I called them and I was just chatting. And then in the middle, my mom said, You're not coming home for Christmas, right? And I said, no, I don't think so.


And so she kind of let me off the hook. But they also feel the same way I do. They don't want to risk anything.


So I'll be here. And that was scary to think about waking up by myself in my apartment.


Well, you'll try and be by yourself. We finally get you. I mean, it's sad for your parents, but happy for this set of your California. Now, I know. I know.


But it's your first Christmas in your new house and in would be nice for you guys that have no money to come to this.


Any who we'll talk about this off air. I know we're going to solve it right now. And you're going to commit nothing to solve in front of a million people that you're spending Christmas Eve at the house.


OK, I will. But, um, another take away is it was sad and scary.


But then I thought, well, since I'm going to be here, I'll get a real Christmas tree this year because normally do artificial because I'm normally gone for so long. So I also went to Home Depot before you guys who planted the seed.


You had done it the Sunday before. And we were like, oh, we got to get on it.


Yeah, I went with Jass, just came with me. He helped me. Tall, strong. Yes, very tall, strong and brave. He'd like to add so big. So powerful. Yes.


And our experience was lovely. Unlike yours, that's what happens when you don't have children. It can be peaceful. Yes, I did have to park not in the parking lot. It was so crowded and I was feeling a little panicky about the amount of people that were at Home Depot. Sure, sure.


But just and I picked one out. He's the father of my Christmas tree, Father Christmas, and it's been very cute.


Boy helped put the tree on top of my car and we were both very excited about that. And it was lovely.


Then he helped me put it up and put the lights on and it was special. It was something I wouldn't have normally been able to experience. But it was, again, indicative of this year. And hopefully it was a starter experience because hopefully next Christmas you'll be at your house.


But I hope so. Yeah, I really hope so. I'm going to get two trees. Yeah, get three.


I'm going to get six trees, one for every room. I can't wait.


Well, again, because of zoom in on kind of how we've shifted gears here, we're going to get to check in on this holiday episode with some incredible folks.


Oh yeah. And help set all of these delicious people up.


I didn't mean for it to be a Central Park reunion, but it sort of ended up being a central Peru.


Oh, my gosh.


I didn't even think about well, again, because we're all close as friends. The reason that Josh started the show, we talked to all of our friends was like, can we get together?


So, yeah, I got no idea. No premieres. Are you guys in? And we all got Josh, Josh Gad and me Raver Lampman.


Oh, Leslie Odom, Junior Smoke show Leslie or big time in our in the House musical genius, the Minister of Soul, Bob Mervat.


Oh my gosh.


I'm so excited to hear Bob and then the resident female singer on armchair expert Kristen Bell. That's right. We got lucky. I have some surprises. Oh, I love surprise, surprise and still especially Christmas surprises. Yeah, they're the best kind. Well, I think we should get started and hop on the Zoome with old Josh Gad, one of our favorite guests.


Josh Gad, first of all, thank you so much for being a part of our Christmas special. Of course, I've told you many times, you know, one of my very top guests we've ever had, what a blast we had. Would you agree?


Yes, I would agree that I was one of your best guess, but I would say that no matter what. So I don't know. Sample size is small for me. Well, then I think it's unanimous. Yeah, it was unanimous in the God household that this was the best one that you've ever done that we've listened to.


Now, can I just ask you for some color commentary? Your orange, orange, red. Well, you're Jewish, to my understanding. Yes.


To the best of both of our understanding. I was born a Jew, but I married a Catholic.


I wanted to introduce a little spice in my life. Yeah. And celebrate Santa Claus, which felt spicy as a child in Florida.


Did you guys celebrate? Did you beg your parents, like, you know what, I get it. I don't want to be disrespectful, but let's get a fucking tree up in here.


Yeah, well, you know, at a certain point, you just get tired of Chinese food. You just get sad that that's the only form of celebration on Christmas. You see other kids in the neighborhood with Christmas trees and you're having General SAOs and you're like, this doesn't. Feel like a Christmas meal. This feels very specific, but let's watch this memory. As I recall when you had your dream each day General Sales was on.


I was thinking that well, very good memory also.


Great show notes. And we have a list of the transcript in front of us. Yeah, and I do love general sales, but Christmas doesn't feel like a general sales night feels like a night of, like, brisket and like, you know, Christmas Eve foods.


I also really just missed not having a Christmas tree. I love the spirit of Christmas. I'm a very Christmassy guy. Like my general disposition is one of like I could be Kris Kringle if I was slightly heavier and had a whiter beard.


If I had to recast a remake of ELF, I would absolutely casser you'd be my first stop if I was really director and I had a dream casting choice for a reboot of ELF, you'd be it.


What do you guys think about that hundred percent. That's very sweet. I feel like Will Ferrell is not going to like this episode, but it's OK. I feel like maybe like maybe he only listens to his episode of Armchair.


Well there's that. And then of course, do you watch on Netflix the movies that made us those little dogs?


Oh, my God, I love that series so much.


Well, there's one I was watching while I was lifting weights and beautifying my body this morning about Alaf.


They've done one on LTH, have they. I haven't seen it yet. OK, and then what you realize is like, oh wow. That was seventeen years ago. That was twenty three.


It was in the movie holds up so well. You know what else I just showed my kids, which I forgot is slightly inappropriate, but I showed them Christmas vacation.


Oh it's the very best Christmas movie. I think it is that.


And I heard that the best Christmas movies of all time. Well, there's inappropriate parts like just language and the part where he's daydreaming about her getting naked and jumping into a swimming pool.


Yeah. Raised a lot of questions for my daughters.


Oh, I thought you were going to say Uncle Eddie's very pronounced package in the grocery store when they're buying it. Also another he's got a foot of Shillong in those tight pants. Oh, yeah.


Yeah. Oh, good old Randy Quaid Shillong. We watch it with our kids without any ethical issues, for better or worse. But I am always waiting for one of them to bulls eye that enormous Shillong like it's an eye catcher. It is.


It is. They actually keep asking me to show them now vacation and European vacation and I feel like that I shouldn't do. Yeah, right. Like that would be no.


What age were you when you saw vacation. You had to be very young. I was younger than that, but my parents were assholes. Well, hold on though. Look at you. You're a family man. You're a good human being. You're wealthy. Heaven forbid they follow in your footsteps. Well, that's true.


Yeah, that's true. There is a generational disconnect. And I think it's because we didn't have these things readily available to us in the same way that our kids do now. So there's a lot more like decision making that goes in because we know that everything's at their disposal.


But when we were growing up, didn't you guys feel like our parents weren't very sort of they would take you to Blockbuster and they would basically wait for you to pick whatever you picked?


And it wasn't much in the way of, like, vetting what you were. At least my parents didn't. They are just like, yeah, go take whatever you want to watch. What is it? Oh, Godfather Trilogy.


Great. Oh, Alien great. This is great for a six year old.


Well, if I can just say and I know for context, I know DAX is actually going to use this as a pro for his argument, but his argument is coming from a man who was taken to see Scarface in the movie theaters at five years old.


Yes, that chainsaw scene is so memorable when you're five. Yeah, no, it would be I would be my brother and I got to go to Blockbuster.


We rented exclusively eighties gang films. And I mean, like street gangs, like guys fighting with chains and shovels. Yeah, you did. Guys dragging guys behind motorcycles. And yeah, my dad did not seem to care at all about that.


I had two older brothers, so they really introduced me to like accidentally or not. They introduced me to a lot of movies that I probably I remember seeing Nightmare on Elm Street when I was six years old. I walked into our den and my brothers in their high school friends were all gathered around the TV. And it's that crazy bus sequence that starts the movie. And I remember it vividly. And I also remember sleeping in my parent's room for the next year.




Uh huh. Did they ever watch pornos? And you'd come in the room and they are my parents. No, no, no, no. I assume they did your older brother all the time. Your older brothers.


Yes, I saw pornography at a very early, early age. Actually, I shouldn't say this because it's going to embarrass my folks. But I remember finding a copy of The Joys of Sex. Oh, OK. Feels very Christmassy.


Oh, Joy. Yeah, well, because of the word joy. Yeah.


Joy to the world. That reminds me of the Christmas season. So that was traumatic. I didn't know what I was watching. OK. It's just yeah, it just looked it looked like a lot of people were hurting each other with parts of the body.


I didn't know this. Right. Right. Lots of penetrable actions.


Well, should we get into singing some Christmas songs? Yes, I'm going to sing now. I feel very intimidated.


Why aren't you a professional singer, unlike your wife? I'm like a fake singer.


She's like a legit great singer. Lesley Odoms, a legit singer. Jaime's a great legit singer. I'm Tarab.


Can I counteract your insecurities real quick? Yeah, of course. Do you think Bob Dylan was a stellar singer? Do you think Neil Young was a stellar singer?


I think what's interesting is Bob Dylan's Bob Dylan. Exactly.


And your father, Josh Gad. That's my point. Merry Christmas.


Those are two very different things and doesn't help support my statement at all.


No, it makes me more scared. No, listen to me.


There are people who have a character and who have a tone and who have a fingerprint is obvious is yours and it's intoxicating. OK, that's true.


Here we go then. I'm going to sing you a Christmas song. Oh, my gosh.


The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind. Oh, my God.


That was I could I can hear the pitter patter of reindeer on the roof. I could hear the pitter patter of Bob Dylan's lawsuit hitting my front door.


OK, I think to have your listeners listen to something someone sound so decent is a good reminder that Christmas isn't always perfect.


Oh, that's a great message to go into. It lowers expectations. And you're sure to be delighted on the big day. Yeah, we.


Can I make a special Christmas request? Do you remember any of what are your Christmas traditions from Olaf's TV movie?


Oh, you want me to do the all off Christmas? I mean, I wouldn't hate it because I've been thinking about that for so long.


Yes, I'll do that. Hang on. Let me just look up the lyrics. OK, ready? One, two, three, happy Mary Holly, Jolly season's greetings here. I'm wondering what your family does at that time of year. Loving joy and peace and everything. Tidings of good cheer. Do you have tradition things for that time of year?


Well, we hang up boughs of evergreen on every single doorway, bake a giant cookie in the shape wavy shape of Norway, going from door to door to door while singing in our choir, heading up all your giant socks above an open fire.


That sounds safe. So happy.


Merry Yuletide carols. Faithful friends are dear. Thanks for sharing what you do at that time of year. We better get a move on if we're going to hit every house in the kingdom.


Oh, I gave you plenty of grace and then I just wanted to hear it once from you while looking at your face because I like nothing more. When I see Orlov's Voice coming out of your face.


You like nothing more than hearing just a broken this.


By the way, my voice is for shit right now because last night Kristen and I did a Goonies table read where I was playing slots and screaming, Oh, Tom, most experts have nothing left to give.


You've seen since the movie he put the mask on. He turned his chair around anyway. Oh, when there was a lot of shackles were on.


What's his catch phrase. Hey, you guys there now?


Third, you laugh that I love them. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.


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So I'm going to give you guys a little I know you're going to get other people singing Christmas songs for you. I'm not going to do that. I'm actually going to spice things up and give you a little Hanukkah. Oh, Hanukkah. This is a song I grew up with. Sing along if you know it.


And here we go.


Five, six, five, six, seven, eight. Hanukkah. Oh, Hanukkah. Let's light the menorah. Let's have a party. We'll all dance or gather round the table.


We'll give you a treat dreidel to play with and latkes to eat.


And while we are playing, the candles are burning low one for each night.


They shed a sweet light to remind us of days long ago, one for each night.


They shed a sweet light to remind us of.


Days long ago. Yeah.


Hanukkah. Oh, Hanukkah. Let's light the menorah. Let's have a party. We'll all dance.


Ahora gather round the table will give you a treat to play with the light to see that wow we are playing.


The candles are burning low one for each night. They share this with light to remind us some day it no go one for each night.


They shed a sweet light to remind us of days long ago. Oh wow wow wow.


That's a sinister song. Would you agree. I mean scares the shit out of me. Those candles are getting low.


My interpretation of it certainly would give you that impression.


I just imagine a really sweet Jewish family with three or four children on the ground just kind of shivering and scared.


Yeah, it's usually sung by children, which makes it, I think, less volatile.


OK, and when I sing it, I think it sounded much more hostile than it was intended.


Well, I imagine like Pantera playing that or something. Yes. Yes. Christmas. Yes. That feels right. That feels right. And like I didn't mean to give your younger listeners because I know you have many children who listen to your show.


Well, we have a contract with the National Daycare Center.


That's not going to be stuck in my head all day, but not with the me, honey. Not at all. And I don't know if you should put some, like, just bass behind that.


We can actually have a really cool head. I agree. I agree. Does your show get to make money off of it? If it works, yeah.


We'll own all the rights. And that was agreed to just now. And there's now a tape of it. That's a real bummer. Now, let me ask you a really quick question. Hey, anything daks? I'm so grateful you joined us. What are your holiday plans?


Well, we're thinking about spending some time in the house.


Oh, I haven't had an opportunity to really all just sit in the house and think about life and, you know, we're be together, gather around the couch, which is something we've only done for the last hundred, twenty two days.


I joke, but we're actually thinking about taking a safe trip to Utah and staying at a friend's house out there in our pod and maybe letting the kids play in some snow. Oh, it has been a bit of a cyclical year and we want to just give them a little bit of a change. We're thinking about that. I also have to leave for London soon. So I want to do like one last hurrah.


Well, if you don't have cabin fever at this point, then I think that would be a signal that you're agoraphobic maybe.


Yeah, no, I think it would. Oh, Chris is just made of scared. Look, because I guess we're learning now she doesn't have cabin fever.


I mean, obviously, the world's in mayhem and there's a lot of things that are bad. But I would be lying if I said I hated staying home all the time. I'd be lying. I just kind of like, love the calm vibe and my tribes always close.


You know what? Here's what I relate to and what you just said.


I do enjoy the fact that we as a society have had a chance to just pause for a second. There's a lot of going non-stop. I didn't even realize it until this. And it's not easy right now for a lot of people. Right. It's really hard loss of work, loss of income.


These things are not light and they're not to be taken lightly. The one silver lining, though, is maybe when we come out of this on the other end, it's a reminder that there is a beauty to the stillness. There is a joy in just being right, in just sitting and just embracing family and just like having that sort of 1950s nuclear kind of family closeness where you can.


Watch a movie together where you can just sit and be together and play games together, it's something that I've taken for granted. Maybe it was just me, but that's been the one silver lining I've gotten out of this.


I concur. I concur. I think very much we will look back on this year. That's challenging right now as like this amazing gift for the family. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or the complete destruction of the family. I think it goes one of both ways.


Yeah. No, no, no.


There's also a possibility that my kids kill me in my sleep because they, they found my vulnerabilities and weaknesses because we've spent too much time together.


Well, Josh, we love you. Merry Merry Christmas and happy happy happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. I love you guys so much. And I'm so grateful that you asked me to share this celebration with you. I can't wait to see the residuals on the. Oh, Hanukkah. Oh, Hanukkah. Take that I did today. I think it's going to go platinum and really break the Internet.


Well, all I'm going to say is start shopping for Jets'. Yeah, OK. It feels like something that would come out of a I think it's going to be a lot bigger than any of the frozen stuff I do too.


I do too. And if the frozen stuff didn't get me a jet, a Hanukkah Hanukkah armchair cover is certain to.


Yeah, it's just math, Josh. It's just Christmas math. That's simple arithmetic, buddy. Well, we love you to pieces. You have you have a wonderful holiday with your family and a happy new year.


Happy. I love you. Bye, sweetie pie.


Well, that was special. Now we are very lucky and we like to recognize it often.


I hope it doesn't get annoying or sound like false humility, but we've been really lucky in this whole year of quarantine because we have jobs that we're able to do and still get fulfilled. Mom, you even launched your own CBT line.


I did. I did. I've been working on it for two years. And then right when the pandemic hit, we were like, can we still do it?


And we did. It's called Happy Dance. Nobody needs it more than that's what I said.


I said I was like, we can't stop now. Doesn't matter.


So we launched it a couple of months ago and it is very high quality, full spectrum CBD.


And we have three products, a body lotion, oil, which is coconut oil and CBD, which I used to take my makeup off.


Weirdly enough, I've been loving it. Do you take your makeup off with oil like your. I make I don't. I should. I remember when I was little, my mom used to take it off with, like, Johnson and Johnson baby oil.


Yes. And it occurred to me that I've just been using things that were labeled eye makeup remover, which there's nothing bad about that. But Happy Dance was about, you know, doing something really good with CBD, which I now depend on.


I love it. And I was like, why can't I just take it off with this coconut oil? And I love oh my God, I've been using it to get some stains off my penis.


The oil, the stains. Yeah. You rub the stains off my penis. Oh, no, I use the coconut oil. Oh. Where did this come. Yeah.


You're your Chinese or I was making a euphemism for masturbating with your coconut oil. Oh my God.


That's what people say. I know I made it up just now. Oh, wow. That's right. Yes, I did. I grab a lot of things online.


OK, fair enough. Fair enough. Well, yeah, they're wonderful and happy. Dance has been so much fun and I've really enjoyed it. We also have a bath balm, which I think is very apropos for 2020 if you need to detox in the bathtub.


Also happy dance gives a percentage. Oh yeah. To Susan Burton. Susan Burton.


Oh you guys had on and she runs an organization called A New Way of Life, which is amazing. I hosted their gala this year and I'm so impressed with her. I read her book and she lives in downtown L.A. and she was in and out of prison. And at one point she was like, I got to get sober. She did. And she said, why aren't these resources available for the people in my community?


And she's just started picking up women that we're getting let out of prison. Yes.


And saying, do you want to live with me? You want to get your life back on track? Cutaş It works. And she's got ten houses full of women.


I think now she's got about 200 women under her wing and it's helping with job training and all the things that are askew when you are formerly incarcerated and she helps them get their kids back. So every endeavor, I feel like, needs to have a purpose more than just something fun. So we are giving one percent of all of our profits to her. And that's kind of why I really want happy dance to succeed and be big so that she can be sort of funded forever.


That was one of our most powerful episodes this year.


I think for me, I've never felt like more of a piece of shit, which is always like my highest praise I can give.


I was like, I'm doing nothing in life but how generous this woman is and how effective she is.


I don't want to sully this beautiful moment, but if you guys were to come out with a maceration cream, do you think you could call it Happy Pants ABS?


Not a bad idea. It's not right.


Yeah, OK, happy pants. OK, do a happy dance in your pants. Yes. With this cream.


So you have someone who makes me do a very happy dance. My pants. Leslie Odom. Leslie Odom.


When your baby. One attractive human specimen, yeah, big time, big time, yeah. Let's check in with this babe. Oh. Look at your expense. Oh, my, wow, wow, wow, wow.


Thank is Bob Mervat is going to be so happy to hear his song go through your pipes.


You guys look perfect. You have a new hairdo since we spoke with you last. Yes. It got so long that I had to start doing things with it.


Oh, very nice. I like what you've done with it.


Thank you so much. I'm having a little fun. I have not had hair this long and bro, like twenty five years.


So. And guess what else? I remember your long hair because you used to topknot it and you used to have a spray out the top and I was there for those years. Oh I brought that up to him. I said that.


You said he made that look unbelievable.


He was so cute because it was just this big mess of hair and then it was top knotted and it came out just like this blooming flower. And you pulled it off. It was so sexy.


Thank you. Can you tell us the general vibe and gossip that went on around him, like when he would leave?


Was there just like a cloud of like, oh, my God, was he bent down to get that thing? There definitely was. There definitely was.


Because you have a presence and you always have back then in that whole group of Matt Morrison and Laura Bell and Katy and all those people.


Yeah, you were the one you were the crush on. You were the sex panther.


I wasn't going to say it, but you could not be more wrong.


I detailed this on the last show, but you were the first person that I knew that, like, became famous. And it wasn't surprising in any way. It's just like, you know, when you're the person that gets plucked from the heat, you're just like, oh, my God, it's her. I just felt like you went from next to us to superstardom in the blink of an eye. But she never, never changed whenever I would see you.


Always so gracious. Still, whenever I would find my way into one of those Hollywood parties that you were in the center of, you were always so sweet. And, you know, it didn't change you, but it changed us, you know what I mean? It was so cool to watch you rise to the top.


I mean, I just remember feeling so scorned when they finally put out that hairspray casting list. And I'm like, wait a minute, neither Leslie or I are going to be in this show.


But then when you found your way onto House of Lies, I was elated because I was like, finally because you were basically playing Don's protege, like you were like the next Don on the show for that season.


I could not believe that I got that job. It's an honor just to audition for something like this. You know, the material is so great and but there is no fucking way that they're going to give me this job when they call know it's one of those jobs you like.


We. I just thought there was so many people ahead of me in that line and you had to have love cheatle, I mean, he's such a dream person to work with the notion like, oh, my God, I'm going to work with fucking Cheadle.


Cheadle is the living end and coming to work with you guys for that few weeks that I did. It changed me and made me a better actor. I had never seen a set that was that free. You guys were so loose.


We were very messy to lose, some would argue. Exactly.


But I remember the producer saying, like, oh, we finally cast the guy who's Donz up and comer and is this newer guy, Leslie.


And I was like, he's like new guys.


He's been whapping girl since 2000.


And we have been listening to your album, My Girls and I on repeat.


It's like we you know, if you've ever been to Six Flags and they play that Riddler revenge song in line and by like 90 minutes into that thing, you're like, do those people hear that when they go home from work? Well, your Christmas album is the Riddler's Revenge of Our House, and it's fucking awesome. It's so good. And it's on all day, every day.


I did not at all intend to record a Christmas album this year as I'm preparing to make my New Year's resolutions right. I'm just still reeling from the trauma of this year and like remembering all the things we thought that this year, what this year was going to be, and you know how none of that really came true.


Other wonderful things happened.


But this whole year has been a pivot for all of us, has been a pivot and learning how to, No. One, sit with ourselves and honor the grief and the truth of this moment, but also try to make something of it and try to carry on in some way. And my favorite thing as an artist is if ever I can feel useful, because so much of what we do, I know you guys feel it. So much of what we do feel silly and trivial.


And it's an embarrassing job.


It's an embarrassing, embarrassing stand up comedian is way better because you guys are philosophers and, you know, it's like a secular pulpit. Acting as somebody gives me the words to say. I'm going to say them kind of, you know, truthfully.


But whenever I can offer something that makes me feel useful, you know, I felt like this Christmas album, I know it's in the marketplace, but I hoped that it would feel like a gift in some way.


You know, I keep up with a lot of Christmas music because it's my favorite. But rarely do you hear an album where you think something new is being discovered. But like, you have just this ability to pluck out these notes and they sort of like undertones of the song that it's my favorite thing about Martin Sexton. He's a singer songwriter and I've seen him live a couple of times in all of his songs. He really never sings them the same way twice.


He'll harmonize with himself the second time and find a totally different song. You kind of do that. You just have the ability to take a song. We all know and you know, as they say on American Idol, make it your own.


Yeah, I would have a little anxiety if I were you, because so many people have made Christmas albums, so many legends have made them. And you've got to take these songs that everyone knows and you somehow got to put it through the Lesley filter and make it something new. I would imagine you don't just enter it going like, oh, I'm going to fucking crush this record.


No, no.


And actually the first one, because I've put out two Christmas albums now, they're very different, very different vibes. But the first one got such a wonderful response.


It's called simply Christmas, quite frankly, because Christmas was all we could afford, you know, so it is very sparse and its arrangements and it's approach because we didn't know anybody in music.


All I could offer up was like some sincerity, a sentiment.


It was your garage band album. Exactly.


And the response to that album was I mean, I got to tell you, right after, like Hamilton and my episode of armchair expert like that, simply Christmas is the thing that I hear about the most in my career.


And so anyway, I knew that this is something that people like to hear from me. So, you know, we at least knew that going in. But that album was extraordinarily difficult to make, you know, because I was still also discovering who I wanted to be on vinyl and it was Christmas music and stuff.


So I recorded that album probably like three whole times. You know, I would record it, go back and listen to it, like we've got to do it all again.


That's shit. I do it all again.


This one came out a lot more easily because I know myself more.


You had some confidence from the last one.


Yeah, I wrote a couple songs on this one. Snow was a song. I wrote Heaven and Earth is a song that I wrote. The response to that means a lot because it's a Christmas tune, but it's personal. I was thinking about Joseph in that manger. Right.


Were you in the delivery room for your kids decs? Oh, unfortunately, he can't do C sections and I was not prepared to see my wife have full surgery in front of me and see her organs.


But alas, those babies did come out and was wasn't my autopsy doing an autopsy on her?


Like, I'm like this poor liver it. Where's the. You know, that's that's a little different yet.


Joseph Joseph didn't witness a C-section, a C-section birth, but I was imagining that all dads in the delivery room, you know, if you happen to believe that story about the manger and the birth of, you know, what Christmas anyway is about. Yeah. The high holy day of the Christian holiday. If you happen to believe that all dads feel like Joseph a little helpless, we're witnessing a miracle. But there's really nothing we can do or we're not doing shit.


And they're like almost dying in front of you when they have to face their death to face their fucking death in order to bring life into the world. It is extraordinary and humbling. And so I wrote a song about it.


Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. It's like watching people carry a couch up a stairwell and you're just like at the bottom, like, OK, I'm going to sit on this couch when it gets up there and I'm going to do nothing to get it up there.


It is exactly like that.


It is exactly like it changed my life and gave me a deeper respect for my wife, but also womankind. It's crazy. We don't have an equivalent.


Men do not have and there is nothing we have to face our death to do.


I keep jumping off motorcycles in an attempt. Right?


Sorry, I'm drinking olive oil straight because I'm prepping for a colonoscopy. Hope you're getting them so I can't eat today. So I'm drinking raw olive oil and I lost my voice.


He has a mug full of olive oil in front of him right now, and he just took a big swig. And that's why he's too slippery to even speak to you.


He's all lubed up on the inside.


You could put a camera down there. No problem. I got to do that with Chad.


Right. We got to lower the age of that. I'm not 40, but I mean, Chad was barely older than I.


Yeah. Like, if you're in a position to get it, then I think, why not? Other than it's miserable prepping.


But other I offered to give it to him. I said I got a very small GoPro. I had bought a ton of olive oil in anticipation for his request. He said, no, I'm going to go to something called a licensed physician.


I guess. I mean, the DIY approach does appeal to me, but probably in more of a sexual setting. Sure. The medical setting. I get that.


Yeah, but but I don't. And look, I'm down for anything while but I do not allow cameras in the bedroom, so we're at an impasse. That's right.


I got now. So yeah. You said I will use the GoPro but it's not going to be in the bedroom canopy. No, it has to be public. Yeah. Has to be in the living room.


Yeah. Children watching. I got it.


So Leslie, what song are you going to sing for us. I go on and be more excited to hear you sing.


I'm going to sing. Let me make sure this is my band in the New World. So let me just make sure these guys are ready to go. Guys, are you ready? Oh, wow. One second. I'm going to fund my holiday backing tracks. Here they go.


OK, I'm ready to go when you are all ready.


Ready. Well, let me. I'm but my pants let me. I'm but maybe get ready. I know you're all lubed up on the inside. OK, so I was so excited to do this one on the album.


I hope that this one feels like while the first one is like sentimental and and honest and all that stuff, it's a little moody.


You know, this album, I hope that people can hear the joy. You know, I wanted this album to feel joyful from the top of it. This song makes me so happy. I hope it makes you guys happy. It's our version of last Christmas.


Here we go. Now could get him from the very next day, you get this you said go to. I mean, I'm sitting with no say, I did not know what a fool I've been, but if you kiss me now, I know for me that. Gave him the very next. We decided to give it to someone special. Back to you, someone to rely on me, I guess I should. Face the number five, it is hot.


Kim. Is so much fish. You gave it to me from. Oh, oh, my goodness.


Lord, Lord, Lord, we just got the platinum package to have this privilege, one of you where he was looking. Right, I think into my eyes, not not either of yours.


Well, that's the beauty of the glasses. Never know who is looking. I could be like, oh, let's see.


Whose eyes were you looking into? All three of you for sure. Oh, my God, you're so talented. This is a George Michael special.


And George Michael loved everybody. We all know that George Michael did.


Yeah. Yeah. That's one of my favorite Christmas songs. Yeah. So good. And then you just go to all these places.


Oh, God. I was on fire.


Mm hmm. The ladies are quiet. We're taking it in. Oh yeah. Yeah. You kind of maybe recovering. It was an intimate experience for us.


Big time intention is so important. Intention is so important. Like I wanted this album to bring people joy and I wanted it to feel like a gift. And I can't tell you how any time that comes back to me, I'm like, fuck, yeah.


That's all I wanted. You got me big time. Yeah. Delicious. What do you do this Christmas? You got big plans. You can stay in the sunshine. You're going to go somewhere else. Now what are you gonna do?


We're going to stay right here. And then top of the new year, we have a new baby coming in March.


Low guy. Oh, you boys coming.


We're also going to move my parents out here from the East Coast. OK, it's time to bring them closer. You know, this world's too crazy, man, you know, and we just times not promised. So that's like a dream come true. You know, both of those second baby and my parents coming out. So we got a lot to just process and appreciate this bit of quiet. Yeah, this version. We have one baby already.


We're just going to, like, lock in this version of quiet before it gets crazier next year.


Yeah, it is true what they say where one is one, two is ten and then the three is five and Merry Christmas.


And that's that, that's called baby Mathangi because the oldest takes care of the younger ones. If there's three, well you throw in the towel, I tell you you don't give a shit.


Everybody has a flat. Had they stay in the crib the whole time, no one cares. We've already done this pretty good two other times. But it's we're not trying to win a medal, still trying to put in a fair amount of effort.


But, man, is it split.


Well, when you have the second, you're like, oh my, are we giving this baby the same exact focus we got? The first one got to do that. And there's not enough time in the day.


Damn, something's got to give.


So good luck and happy New Year. I got to say, you timed it right because you will be able to leave your house then that's paramount.


Come, Mark. Yeah. You'll be able to go like Home Depot and feel like you're on spring break and you take your time, right?




Oh, and that that's been the toughest part of this whole thing is like it's not just that you got all this time home with your kid. It's that, no, your kid is home and you can't leave.


You can't take them to run errands. You know, you can just try to go back and go, OK, we're just going to go do a bunch of stuff today.


We're going to go visit people.


And it's been tough. Yeah. Yeah. You're earning your medal. Well, listen, lots of luck. March, very excited. Your album. So great. What's the name of it? The Christmas album. The Christmas album.


Simply because the first one. And the Christmas album. Yeah, by both. Bye bye. I would say get both. You're both. Yeah. You won't regret it anywhere. Albums are so thank you guys. All right, Leslie, thanks so much for being a part of our Christmas show and we hope to talk to you again. It's always a fun. Love you guys. Thanks. All right. Be good.


Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.


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OK, our next guest is for those of you who may not know her yet, Emmy Raverty, Lampman is a very sparkly human being. She is on Umbrella Academy, if you've ever seen it.


If you haven't, check it out. It's a very fun show.


She's also on Central Park now with us. And she was in the second cast, Hamilton. She's got pipes for days and I haven't seen her other than talking on Marco Polo over this whole quarantine. But she's been in Australia, so she's actually getting up very early for us because I think it's like 8:00 a.m. in Australia.


But she's there because she's shooting a really cool movie, which is sort of like her first big movie, which makes me very excited because I just think she's so unbelievably talented and I'm excited for everyone to know her name.


Yay, Emmy.


eMag. Hello, warning girl.


Hi. What time is it?


There it is. Eight 16.


Where is there on Christmas morning. I am in the future.


I am in Melbourne, Australia.


Oh yes. Now how are you liking Melbourne? I love it. First of all, there's zero covid.


I think we're on day 38 of not a single case. Wow.


They've rolled back all the mask restrictions and everything is open and not everything. I think like bowling alleys and nightclubs and stuff are still closed.


But movie theaters are open restaurants. Yeah.


Did you go see the Nolan movie that we can't see? I haven't gone yet.


I just now I'm coming up on some free time. Do you still have to wear masks on set? Yeah, we're still getting tested weekly, but only weekly. I had to like, seek out the covid lady the other day.


I was like, it's been eight days since I've been tested. She's like, oh, I'm sorry, we seem to have missed you.


I mean, it's just so lax. It's like it's like the opposite of what's happening in the States.


I feel so tethered. I have like a foot in America where I'm watching, you know, my family and my loved ones going through what's happening in the States. And then I'm in a country where it doesn't exist. It's such a juxtaposition of those two things.


Yeah, we recorded with a guy named David Verrier. He's a journalist in New Zealand. And we see him once a week. And, yeah, he's out on dates. They're going to the movies. It doesn't exist there. No.


You still have to wear masks inside. Like if you go into the grocery store or when you first walk into a restaurant and then once you sit down, you can take it off.


But apparently maybe today, this Monday, that's even going away. It's like every week there's less and less restrictions. It's so wild.


Oh, wow. And he took over as Molly on Central Park and is amazing. And she's also an umbrella academy, but she's also shooting a very cool Liam Neeson movie right now in Australia.


But do you find that, like, there's a lot more production out there because it's safer?


I think so. There's a lot of stuff up in the Gold Coast that's shooting and there's a lot of stuff in Sydney. And my flight over here was almost full of actors in the business flying, flying over to start shooting stuff.


Coincidentally enough, a friend of mine, I just something in my soul told me to text her when I was in quarantine in Sydney and I texted, I was like, Hey, babe, I miss you. How are you? She's like, oh, you know, fine, just surviving quarantine in Sydney. And I was like, What? We were in the same hotel.


Oh, wow. Oh one. And I had no idea. But of course I couldn't see each other. But like, every night we would face time and have like a happy hour and she's like ten floors above me. But it just was so bizarre. And another friend of mine just happened to be on the same flight. So a lot of people are coming this direction and stuff. So it's just been wild.


OK, so I know you're not single, but with that said. Yeah.


Are you feeling Liam Neeson rhythm? Because Kristen worked with them and she claims he has extraordinary rhythm. Rhythm for singing? No, no.


You're like, oh, there's a visceral, primal rhythm happening here.


Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.


I, I do believe that though I genuinely am enjoying working with him so much and the majority of my scenes and stuff in this movie are with him and he's such a pro and he's been doing it for so long and it's effortless.


But he's also so warm and knowing that I'm still such a newbie and this is kind of my first big studio movie, I've never done a movie at this scale before. And he's just so and he's such a goof, which I just love. And we just laugh a lot and and he's such a great acting partner, but he definitely has a presence that's like undeniable, you know, when he, like, walks on set.




When you're with him, do you also in the back of your mind, you're like, yeah, the sabertooth tiger comes out of the woods.


I'm good. I'm good, I'm good. I'm not concerned. Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. What kind of what kind of childhood. Christmas. Experience did you have were you a big Christmassy household or do you love this time of year? I am, as you can see, just the three of you. But there is a baby Christmas tree.


I see. It was literally the first thing I bought.


I got here. I went to the grocery store and I walked directly into the Christmas section. I was like, I will I may be away from home, but I will not be without a very small Christmas tree.


And do they do it up in Melbourne? Is there like decorations everywhere? Yeah. Well, you know, it's weird, though, is being from the Northern Hemisphere, I've only ever celebrated Christmas in some sort of cold weather.


It's summer. It's turning into summer here.


So it's so bizarre being in the group. It's like people are out in shorts and then you go into the grocery store and like Christmas music is playing.


I'm just like, what?


Yeah, it's first of all, first of all, it's December. When did that happen?


And second of all, it's Christmas.


I feel like I decided to go to Hawaii for Christmas. I'm just so used to having layers and stuff and hearing Christmas music, especially because I you know, I lived in New York for 11 years. So a cold Christmas is what I'm used to. But my mom is a very, very, very big Christmas. Christmas queen person.


Yeah, Christmas queen, absolute Christmas queen thing.


Same time that rubbed off on me. The second the Halloween candy was all distributed out came the Christmas boxes.


So for Thanksgiving as it should be ready and yeah, yeah, yeah. Christmas is one day. That's not enough. You have to celebrate for two months I think for me too.


So will you be singing Mecca, Kalicki High or whatever.


However you say this Malacañang Kimock is the thing you say, oh no. Brummell born Christmas Day every Christmas.


We used to go to church on Christmas Eve and I used to sing Silent Night almost my whole childhood.


I would go and turn out all the lights and pass out candles for the candle lit part of the Christmas service. Like such a fond memory I have.


Were you singing in an official capacity or everyone in the church was singing or you were a part of the choir?


I just would go up first. Although I was part of the choir, I would sing like two verses and then like the congregation would then join. It was kind of like while the flame was getting passed to the whole church.


Now, when you're the person that's emanating all that, does that preclude you from getting goosebumps or while you're singing and witnessing that and the chorus comes in, are you not with us or are you with us in that?


Oh, totally.


Oh, good for a lot of my live performing. I do go into like a full blackout and I don't remember. Yeah, I think that's kind of my body's way of like fight or flight.


I just kind of am in the moment and then I step off stage and I'm like, did I did that happen?


I don't remember. Sure.


When I left my parents house, I was in college and would just come home to visit for Christmas. I was in the reverse seat or I was watching from the other side of it. But I really, really strongly remember always standing up on stage and watching the flame of these candles make its way through the whole congregation.


Anyone ever catch on fire? Because when we did that at my church, I was so nervous. There were so many shaky grandparents.


Something came and I was like, this is dangerous and some people can be trusted. But I think people would get a paper tray at the bottom.


Yes. Like, that's going to do it. But then sometimes it doesn't catch the wax. So, like, people would like not what you don't want to be a stickler for science, but the paper tray is an incendiary device.


One hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. None of it's a good idea. They got a can of gasoline in the corner in case they got to extinguish a fire.


And the church is old, the pews are empty. This is all a setup for disaster.


It's a tinder box. It's a Christmas tinder box. Now, what are you going to sing for us? Silent Night. Oh, good. OK, here we go.


Silent night, holy night, oh.


This bright round yon. Suchin, mother. And child, holy infant, so tender. Mild sleep. Sleep in heavenly. So I let my. Night, holy night shower. Take off the side, go street. From her. For Heaven host saying thing they the current. Christ the Savior is born. Silent Night, Holy night, son.


Love's pure light, ray. Beams from thy holy face with the dawn of redeeming grace Jesus. Jesus, Lord, at the. Jesus, Lord. Oh, my goodness. Let me tell you something, I would be happy to be engulfed in flames. To hear that live. I would I would be smiling as I turned to Ash.


The Goosebumps would turn to CHA making. That was incredible.


Oh, my God, you guys are so kind. I got to bring you guys to every audition and recording session I have.


Will be your height will be your oh, your fluffers, your hypercube. If we can just follow party ball around and then like once in a while turn around and like, look at us and sing satisfied or something and then just like it. That's our payment.


That's our payment. Well, I also suggest that we could stand behind whoever is in charge of hiring you. So you'd be seeing our face, which would be elated. And then Kristen's a musical genius as well. So if she could see that you were about to not and then you just plug the ears of the person, they'd be mad at Kristin and then unplug when you get back in the sweet spot.


So that's also a service. We provide just some Hamilton songs once and again.


That's all we're asking for. OK, OK.


And karaoke once in a while. You got it. You got it. Well, Amy, thank you so much for getting up early.


Oh my gosh. Of course. Thank you for being a part of this. I love Christmas so much and I am going to be alone this Christmas. So this is very nice to just talk about it and see Christmas sweaters.


Honestly, when are you home? I'm home the first week of January. Oh. So you're you're doing Christmas there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing Christmas in Australia.


You can have some shrimp on the beach. Everybody loves prawns here and also prawns, not shrimp.


Yeah. Oh sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Everybody loves the prawn.


Well may you have a ginormous prawn on the beach and we're like a green and red bathing suit maybe.


Yeah that's a good idea. I got to get shopping.


I got to get on at my Santa suit in a swimsuit. I will. Thank you guys so much for asking me to join you. Yeah. Yeah.


That was a wonderful I'm so grateful and absolutely any time. Again, Central Park. Oh God. Yeah. Best cartoon in the biz. The best of the best umbrella academy.


Also one of the best in the biz. And what's the name of the Liam Neeson movie? It's called Blacklight.


Blacklight, OK, that's what they used to expose Siemen blood. Seminal fluids. Yeah. You know, indeed they do.


It's a metaphor. You guys will be exposing things, I assume, and. Yes.


Oh, indeed. Indeed you did. They're all. All right. Well, merry Christmas. Thank you so much, Christmas. Happy holidays and love you and me. Bye. Love you.


She's such a beautiful singer. Spectacular. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. What a beautiful voice. My God, it does not hurt that it's coming out that face I it's fair.


I know her face is just. That's just her face. Yeah. That's, that's just how it's shaped. Well the Canadian so pleasing the combo.


It's like, it's like Lewis Hamilton I call bullshit. You can't be the best driver of all time and also be the hottest driver of all time.


That doesn't make sense. Well, no, he's not as we like Danny better. Well, Danny's hotter, but. Yeah, yeah. It's hotter. You're so hot than Danny. We love you.


Can't wait to see you in Austin with Monica. I'll try not to interject so much, but it'll be harder.


Oh, I do want to say just to touch on it, because obviously it's a big year for everyone, but it was a big year for us. There was a really big thing that happened this year.


Yeah, yeah. There's a relapse that we all overcame as a family. Yeah, yeah. And I just wanted to say I'm grateful that we got through it. You got through it. Getting through it.


I'll say it again. I can't imagine having to admit that to other people and feeling as safe as I did that you guys wouldn't hate me. I hated me at that point. And so to be able to tell you guys and feel unconditionally loved in that I would be accepted was really special. It saved my life. Wow.


I feel really grateful and honored that you felt you could trust me.


I'll speak for me. I know you are. You feel like you can trust Kristen, but I feel grateful that I was allowed into the inner circle.


I would like to think all parties involved because I am so appreciative of being able to go through every flavor of emotion with Monica and also to have you.


The father of my children, be so able to be honest, even at your most shameful moments, is what saves you. Nobody saved you but you and your courage and boldness to say, I feel like I'm slipping or I did slip and I need to be honest before it gets worse. And I'm just grateful to all parties involved. I think we did a really good job team.


Me too, Rob. Thanks for let me detox at your house that night. That was the day we left Rob's house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll never forget that drive away from Rob's house. It was very not unlike Chris.


Mystery shopping 20/20 scorched in demand as well as well mine, I remember I've never had a patient who should be in the hospital detoxing in my bedroom.


I've never experienced that before. And the sheets?


Oh, the changes, Brooke. Linens were coming fast. The Brooke linens got of letters. They were all, you know what they were? They were wetlands. Yeah.


Speaking of Brooklyn and they have a cashmere set that I really want. Wait a minute. Write it down.


I got my mom for you. Pretty good.


Oh, what a great cashmere sheet set up. Yes. They're like heathered. Yes, I want that.


Can you imagine how pissed you'd be if I had soiled some cashmere so I would do. That's true. Don't use cashmere if you're going to do now, because it's just the sweats are too much. There they are extreme.


I just stop sleeping in a body suit. If you notice, I just went back to boxers like two or three weeks ago. Yeah, because I think I had to put on a body suit to protect the sheets. I was thinking I'm so cold because it was I was just doused in water and your body was sweating it out.


Yeah. Yeah. Merry Christmas.


Mary, look at that. Look, that's just you know, you can overcome stuff. Things can be thrown at you, curveballs, crazy things. And you can overcome them and you can still love is just around the corner.


And I feel guilty by this group, but I still love this year immensely. I loved this year. I think what a great year.


We're very lucky to say that because we're not out of work and we're not looking at eviction and we're not struggling to put food on the table.


And I think staying like, yes, I think what you're saying, though, even with like two surgeries and a relapse shame spiral and all this stuff. Yeah, still a great year for me.


Lots of things to learn from it, that's for sure. Yeah. I've learned how cool our community is because, you know, I love to get out next door.


I mean, I'm all over next door. It's really my East L.A. housewives because people get catty and they fight. But they're also like, really cute and cool. And a woman the other day just posted, she's like, I just want to share my Christmas lights with you.


Like, Oh, I was so proud of our community to rally like I know where all the free food fridges are.


I know where the pantries are. And they are our neighbors who have put bookshelves outside their doors and are just putting dried pasta, salt, things that people would need. And then there's community fridges. And then guess what, you guys, speaking of community fridges that no one was, do you know they're everywhere?


I just donated from our I was going to tell you this mutual account.


Sure. Oh, I find this all. It's some money, too.


There's a Chicago community fridge. I can't I'm blanking on the name of it, but you can look them up and they actually have people that maintain these big fridges and they put fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, milk in there, and people can come and take them. And it's sort of the honor system. If you need it, you take it and they stock it once a week. And especially in a time like this, that's what we should be doing for each other.


You know, and when you say when you donate with my credit card without asking me that, that's part of the honor system.


Well, here's what I know is that we split 50/50. And if I know, I'll always tell you.


And if you ever were like, I don't communicate, I don't want to contribute to that, then I would just simply refund your money. I offer a full refund. The only thing I'm not refunding are these kids because I can't.


Did you lose the credit card after?


No, I donated my credit card, but it gets paid out of our mutual account.


Well, also, you have hit the limit on certain donations at places and then my credit card comes into the mix.


Well, I need to when there is a limit on my credit card, when I hit it, or even my political donation, like they'll be like a political donation limit, I'll say, like, yeah, I wanted to support Hagar.


I know her well. And she was running for Senate and she's awesome. She's a former fighter pilot, but there are limits and I get it. And that I wanted to donate, you know, more than I think it's twenty eight hundred dollars.


And I said, honey, can I borrow your credit card? Oh no, that's not what happens.


What happens is all either get a thank you letter, like a thank you email for my donation. And I go, oh wow. I didn't realize I donated or on the ranch. I bumped into someone's like, so grateful for you and your wife for donating blank, blank, blank. And I was like, yes, we were happy to do so.


Look, if the biggest problem you've got is that I'm giving so much money to charity, it's like, know, I'm not complaining.


It's comical. Yeah. It's comical to bump into people and go, thanks for your contribution.


I just think if you have a lot of money, if you're overpaid and you're not pretending to be Santa Claus all year round, what the fuck are you doing?


It's a missed opportunity. It is a missed opportunity. I love playing Santa Claus. It's fun. It's so fun. Do get a boost. I mean, I get such a high from it. It's like somebody needs something. You got cash in the bank, you're overpaid by forum.


So there's got to be people in the audience that are more like me, which is I don't get a high from it, but I do it anyways. But you can also do. Yeah, yeah.


It's kind of similar to when you ran out of money. You hit your limit on your event to buy a car. That's right. So we helped you out. You sure did.


You guys were there in a pinch. She said, I need whatever this turkey three grand a pop, right, I got to have it in by six p.m. and literally the response from us was, this is for a car, correct?


It was like days after a relapse, right? Oh, right, right, right, right, right.


Yeah. Hit this guy up in Eagle Rock. You need six grand. Don't worry about it. But it was it was eight grand.


All in for just a beautiful 1980 Fox buddy station wagon in immaculate condition. That's now. And you're welcome, Monica. It's adorning your garage. Yeah. Yeah.


Like if you boy over on a date and you took him down there, he'd be like, damn girl, you got a fucking mint. Thanks, Mom. What are you charging him for that parking spot?


I think it's coming out in the wash, all the stuff that was on the porch for like four months. So we were storing her treadmill for well, for OK.


But to be fair to me, you probably that present and then did not deliver it to my home.


Oh, that's a really good way to look at it. It is complex. It is just solid, solid color point.


Well, let's talk to our resident soil expert, Bob Mirvac, and have him take us out as he is the one who should. Yeah, OK. And how long? Toubab. Three minutes. Two minutes. Two minutes. OK, well, listen, I would like to sing a song.


It's going to annoy Monica, but I'm going to push.


Never stopped you before. OK, generally I sing a little bit of the song, but I'd like to try to sing the whole song this year.


Everyone up for that. Yeah. Let's see here. I got my lyrics, ok. Far from we're turning blue in all the polling booths all over, you know, in my room. So you're still convinced you prove the point of a phone call or no one who's going to buy woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof burden. Go to my room. Goes one room to room for Flooz, but we'll give him his own room phone to work school phones to the world.


Both oh oh oh oh one oh oh. There they are. Oh good. You saved us. So here's something I underestimated. My fucking near-sightedness has gotten so shitty I couldn't read the lyrics with the phone close enough to the fucking microphone. Doesn't have the means. Oh wow. Wow.


Bobby, did you hear some of that, huh. Me. Yeah. Yeah. Did you hear my song.


I did it. Guys, what a surprise. Oh my God. So nice to be joined by you. I had just sung Elvis is Here comes Santa Claus.


Are you going to sing it now? I just did. I don't think we can go through it again, but I don't think anyone could handle a second round of it now.


But I just want all of it.


I want to remind you just the most important part of it as it goes.


Oh, well, that's good.


It seems like something you would like to do. You like those Elvis Christmas songs?


I adore them. Oh, is there another one? Oh, yeah. No, I guess there's Blue Christmas, right? Yeah. Well, he's got a whole hell of a bunch of hooey.




He's always about to throw up in the beginning look. Right. Right. Oh right.


Right on the edge. A gagen. Bobby, are you in the holiday spirit over there. And I sure am.


Yeah. It's fucking cold. I should put a sweatshirt on, you know, please. We're dressed for the frigid temp. Monica, you're in PJs. Yeah, I mean, undies. Oh, there you go.


Yeah, she and she and she and she undies. They're very comfortable.


Three times softer than cotton micro modal. You would know. No, I love it. No, Michigan's great. We just got a Christmas tree yesterday and put it up on the whole the whole deal played records. Oh. Like Bing Crosby Vignelli. Oh my gosh.


I can imagine growing up in the house of a musical genius like his children are getting this education that you could only dream of. Of course ours are to know.


Oh, no, I was looking at you in agreement because no, I don't know nearly as much as Bob does in the music education front for sure.


My daughter revealed yesterday that music isn't her purpose.


Oh, wow. She said that drawing is her purpose.


That's OK. So, yeah. So I guess I'm out. Yeah.


None of my kids seem to want to be race car drivers, so I feel you. What Bob, what is your personal attachment to Christmas? Is that one of your favorite holidays? What was your tradition in your family?


Was it wholesome? And Bing Crosby? It was.


You know, my dad grew up with kind of a shoddy situation. And I think he really wanted to make it like a Norman Rockwell sort of thing. And so it was very idyllic.


It was our directed. Yeah. And I grew up with a lot of religion, so that was the center of it. And I had to unlearn a lot of of that stuff.


But I do like Christmas. Christmas to me is like guiltily indulging in all things nostalgic. It's like a total nostalgia boner all over the place and I just go for it. Yeah.


And you had a really big household growing up. Yeah. Yeah. Six kids. So there was eight in the house.


Yeah. And then the ferret's. Remember the ferret's. Yeah.


You had two ferrets in your basement which we loved that you smell so good and they make the room smell so good.


Yeah. I think Kristen named one stink just straight up dusting dust.


The other one we couldn't find so. Right. So Bobby, what kind of songs are you going to sing to us.


Well, cabi and I did like some Marco Polo rehearsing yesterday and we put some together. Let's do our song now.


Well I. And I'll just remind everyone, and in case anyone's forgot, when we interviewed Bob, we went through this, but the shared history of Christian and Bob, of course, is that they were best friends in high school and they used to perform together. They would do weddings. They would not rule out a funeral. They were a team. They were creative.


Singing duet.


Yeah, it was always pretty effortless with us to like even my wife I love singing with and she's got impeccable pitch. But when I harmonize with Kristin, it's weird. It's like blood harmony and it's always been super easy. And like even as we were doing it yesterday, it was just kind of bizarre.


That's what happens when you go through puberty alongside someone else. You go through all that weird stuff. We would always sync up. We synched up.


This makes me think of a funny story. I think you're like Bob. It's a two second story. It has nothing to do with Christmas. But, you know, the other person that claims that they've never wanted to have sex with Kristin is Ryan Hanson. And so the other day I said to Ryan Hanson, he's like, oh, I just could never have sex with Kristen. And I go, OK, I said, for a million dollars, would you?


And he goes, Yeah. And then I go for one hundred and he goes, Yeah.


Like it doesn't it doesn't pique his interest but it doesn't repulse him or anything.


The well I guess it's very cash on the table. It only took one hundred dollars to want to have sex with her. I just think it was a little bit telling. Right.


Because that's a balance because I'm picturing somebody in the room kind of scared of your ass and talking about how desperately they don't want to sleep with Kristen. But then Kristen kind of like tearing up in the corner. It how many people don't want to sleep with her? Oh, thanks.


See, this is why he's my best friend. He's thoughtful. I guess I'm the bad guy in this story, but.


Sure, no, but you believe that all males and females would want to have sex with each other?


I think all males. I don't think I'll have sex with everyone. Bob, how much do I have sex with Kristen? The holidays are here.


You're going to be buying a lot of presence, Miss. Well, I don't know.


I mean, what's your bottom in a hypothetical world? I'm not married. Yeah. Or is is like, you know what, you know, for the money, it's OK.


Yeah. Hundred bucks for sure.


Oh, my God, I like this.


OK, you can do a lot of things on Amazon with the hundred bucks. A lot of. Yeah.


There's a lot you can do to meals out and if you just get.


Yeah. There's a lot you can do at that hundred bucks as well. Right. A if you pay me one hundred bucks send it friends and family don't fucking do the thing where it takes out nine bucks out of the hundred bucks or whatever. OK, I got it.


OK. Yeah. So no no it'll be, I'll actually put one hundred dollars in your hand. Yeah. Don't what fees taken out. No, no, no or no transactional fees. OK, so what song are you guys going to sing and why did you choose it.


It's one that is a duet. I really wanted to sing with Bob. We don't get to do that very often, so I'll jump at the opportunity. And it's one that I don't hear very often.


It's, you know, a most popular one. But Little Drummer Boy with Peace on Earth, which is what Bing Crosby did with David Bowie. Oh, yeah.


All right. OK, let's party ready. They told me, pa rum pum pum pum. A newborn king to see pa rum pum pum pum. Our finest gear sweeping. Peace on earth cannot be. Perhaps we'll see seen a day of glory. And peace, love and peace, again, some peace. Welcome to. I saw my child and your child to. Live in peace, love and peace again. Peace on Earth. Damn, damn, damn you, tafel, beautiful guy guys.


God, what fun, what fun.


I want you guys to somehow be Sonny and Cher and like, do some some small cocktail lounges.


Oh, I would do that in a heartbeat with Ubobo. Can we plan this?


Can we do a tour now that we have a bus. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh.


We could just like open for armchair and do like a lounge gig. Yeah.


Armchair expert tour but like a bar gig in every town that we visit. Armchair expert bar.


Like barstool expert. Yeah. Oh my God. I would love to see you guys do that for real. I would do that.


Can we put this on the New Year's resolutions list. Yeah. A barn door expert or expert? Big Brown expert. Oh my gosh. A boy load into Big Brown and just hit the fucking road. What's Big Brown? Big Brown is the motor home I'm flying to pick up this week.


Oh, wow. Is that like a like a fecal reference or.


No, it's an enormous motorhome that is painted brown. And so originally it was going to be the Weyland Express, but now it's been more affectionately named Big Brown and it's going to be sitting in our front yard.


It's and it's a proper tour bus. It's forty five feet long right outside the front window.


Yeah, I learned recently that you can't just speaking of Big Brown, you are not allowed to poop on the tour bus. And if you do, you get fined like literally. It's kind of a standard. It's like a contractual thing on every tour. Yeah.


You pee and then number two happens at road stops and stuff so you can pee in the tour bus because that's, you know, I mean, that can't be held. But but no, you'll get fined.


Are you trying to tell me that you think Bob Seeger didn't shit in his tour bus?


Well, I think Bob shat in his jet is what happened. But the band kind of arguing over.


Yeah, I mean, I can see that for, like, the band not to be like a caste system, but I definitely could see where the Silver Bullet band can't crap in there.


But Bob can write what you get to put in the toilet. Depends on your seniority and stuff. Yes.


Yes. OK, so what's the next song you guys are going to sing or Bob, are you going to sing one solo that will just be able to listen to. Yeah, sure. You wanna do that. Yeah. Love. Listen, do you sing me to. My favorite part of our live shows is when Bob plays before the show.


It always best part. We always have anxiety and nerves and then Monica and I sit next to each other and we listen to Bob sing and then somewhere in the middle of it it all erodes.


And we're just so happy to be a part of the whole thing that it for me clicks my mind into, oh, this is all about this. Yeah.


Oh, that's a special responsibility that I have.


Well, I shouldn't have told you. You probably be nervous next time. Well, I get nervous before those two. I kind of set myself up. But then there was that when we were doing that Monica Potter show where generally I can talk myself out of it. But Rob said that she was sitting backstage and she came up and whispered in Rob Zero, I was playing.


She's like, I can't really fucking sucks now.


You know, she was she was joking. Oh, yeah. I like, um, Monica Bonnano.


Right. But Rob was so excited to tell me. Sure, sure.


What are you going to hit us with next? Bobby, this is one of my favorites. Lyrically, I don't like reading lyrics as I perform, you know, as an integrity thing. But I did write myself some notes years. There's so many words. But I love this. It's about a challenging person, kind of a despicable person and kind of a strengthening.


And I know that everything I know about the armchair creed is that there's a lot going on emotionally and developmentally. There aren't really bad people. But this is debatable here.


Oh, I love your question. Would you touch him with a thirty nine and a half foot pole? I don't ruin this for me. We'll see.


We'll see. All right. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch, you really are a hell, you're as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel. Mr. Grant.


You're a bad banana. With a greasy black peel. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole, your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Green. I wouldn't touch you. With a 39 and a half foot pole. You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You've got termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a sea sick crocodile. Mr. Green is. Given the choice between the two of you.


I'd take the Secich crocodile. Oh, you're a foul one, Mr. Grinch, you're a nasty, nasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Green.


That's three words that best described. You are as follows, and I quote, stink, stank, stunk.


You're a writer, Mr. Grinch. You're the king of sinful sites. Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots. Mr. Green is.


Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up miles.


Oh, you nauseate me, Mr. Grinch. With analysis Supernus. You're crooked, dirty jockey, and you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch, you're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstools sandwich with our Senex.


Wow, wow, wow, what a delight. Thank you. I was cracking up, like because I was looking at your faces. Well, I could see you were doing a physical action to get yourself there emotionally as a good actor.


Trick three words that best describe you. It's really hateful the way I mean, like the narrator is, like, really trying to hurt the Grinch. I mean, he's really trying to break through.


Yeah. Tough love. Yeah, right. A real tough love.


Bob, what a fun song. I would have never expected someone to sing that. That's fantastic.


OK, so I just wanted to do one thing. I would like to give you one of your Christmas presents early one of my dad.


I'm going to wrap it here and wrap it or hand it to you. Okay.


And I promise there's a little story behind it as well. Oh, boy. OK, check it out. I'm going to delicately take off the wrapping paper so it can be salvaged. OK, thank you. Which is an armchair expert sweatshirt. OK, side break. Oh, my God, it's something you put the Apple TV remote into.


You put the your remote into this and it has them together.


And this was invented by two mega arm cherries.


No, no. Yes, yes. What? Jen and Brad Epstein, OK. They wrote us a letter and it said they are huge arm cherries. Get out of here.


And they love the podcast. They said that's an understatement. They are so in love with you and so in love with Monica. And they saw that I had posted on Instagram your frustration with the remote situation. And they said, hey, we invented something and they sent us one. And they obviously they sent one for Monica too. But I chose to take it out and give it to you as a Christmas present, even though it's really.


So this is Monica's Jen and Brett Eppstein know this is yours. OK, Monica's got one. There's everybody's got a separate one.


Let me tell you what this thing does. It consolidates remotes, sidekick's snaps onto your existing streaming remote, allowing you to control the basic functions of your TV, sambar, Blu ray amp and streaming devices.


All in one simple setup. Use your existing device remotes to program sidekick. No codes or computers needed side click.


Yeah, it's like I say, you said sidekick.


Oh, I'm going back to my T-Mobile D. Yeah, yeah. We met, we both had Saidi's. We did say cookies Boyka. We both barrel through some text.


There's nothing like tiepin on that rubber hand man could we type fast. But I thought isn't this cool. This is so cool is because my great frustration is when you use your Apple TV remote you've got to use another remote to operate all the other B.S. that's going on and that's going to solve this right quick.


What an excellent present and arm Cherrie's invented by your arm to arm. Chair is not shocked that the arm sherries invent things at all.


We have a very, very educated, smart listener base. And I just want to add, if you want to get the side click, it uses the second and third gen remote or the fourth and fifth gen. So all the remotes work.


What a great so sweet. I feel embarrassed. I'm taking too much credit for it because it did come in the mail from your armchair. You delivered it. You did deliver.


I thought it would be appropriate to give it to you on this Christmas show.


It was extremely appropriate and I'm going to actually use it this afternoon when I resumed my Formula One race.


I can't wait. OK, don't wait. And there's one more thing that I want to give you, and this is for both of you. This might be a little bit more for Monica because there's a little bit more of a cynic in Monica. But I thought there aren't really any Christmas songs for this year. Oh, we're pretending that all of the other ones apply.


But this has been a real tough year. And so I said, OK, what can I do? I commissioned a Christmas song.


Oh, written by Mr Robert Brady.


Mirvac. Oh, Bobby Brady. Barbara Brady.


We've been putting Bob to the test. This has been the year of Bob Mervat.


Can I just say he's written probably nine theme songs for us, different shows we tinkering with and everyone's great. You know, he nails it well.


And here's the thing. I really wanted to use an existing songs. I wanted just to fall into the familiar. Yeah.


So you know what, when you heard it, but I said, Bob, here's what I want to do. Can you take a stab at this? And then he's like, I can try. I don't know. And then truly ten minutes later sent me this.


Oh my God. So we'd like to do this for you now.


I'm going to take one sip of water, take many sips.


Do you want to sip olive oil? I got a little left in my pint.


I'm unsure what that would do to me. OK, it's got to bite. OK, I'm ready. Merry Christmas.


Have yourself. A merry little Christmas is next year on its way.


Homeboy's got. Vaccination on his sleigh. Have yourself. Merry little Christmas. Let the shit show go. Take a beat and think about the things you know. Son led outside 20, 20. You couldn't right the ship. We've seen. But what doesn't kill us makes. A strong. So this year will be socially distant. We'll get through it all, flash mascot's.


Behind a sneeze guard. And 12 years. Merry little Christmas. Oh, oh, oh, you guys stink on it. Well, it took man five all of ten minutes.


You put some lipstick on that pig special.


What a great idea. You too. I have to say, she did ask me to write that I'm worried. It sounds a little bit too much like have yourself a merry little Christmas, do you think?


So right now, OK, legally, you're in great territory. I'm good. Wow.


What you guys saw that together in 15 minutes. I can't believe it. I mean, I can believe it because I know you too. But wow.


I had a quick question about you, too. So, honey, you and I have a great rhythm of reading when one person is going to talk and the other person is going to talk, which is hard. And most of the things we do together is like improv interviews or whatever. I have a hunch you and Bob are so connected that when you hear him playing, you must be able to predict like what the length of the pause will be, where he's going to go.


Do you guys have that?


Yeah, I live. It seems pretty natural. You know, I don't talk.


Well, no, that was a perfect example of our symbiotic. Like I said before, it's always been effortless and it always seems really natural, like not something we've had to practice, whereas I have to practice that very specific thing you're talking about, especially when there's not a groove to adhere to, like it's more intuitional.


It has always seemed to just meet.


And I think that has to do with just being 13 years old at a piano in the back room of my old house on Lincoln and just messing around. And you being like, hey, if you're at a Harry Connick Jr. and me being like, no, you play so.


And then just like the hours we spent musically connecting for me, one of the most euphoric feelings in the world and money.


And I have it. We do a fact check and we can just sit there and we can talk with some kind of weird symbiotic symmetry.


And it's so wonderful. And I have it with you and I act and you guys have that. And what a fucking gift to experience on planet Earth.


Yeah. Yeah, we're lucky. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Bobby, thanks so much for being a part of this. Happy happy Christmas. I here. What a year.


Merry Christmas. And I'm tickled to be here. It's been one of the greatest days of my entire life.


I know. I know that you hold the title of Minister of Soul on armchair expert, but you are the minister of soul.


So armchair expert. Pastor, resident pastor. Right. No, thank you guys so much for having me.


I was delighted to do this. And I don't get to play Christmas songs out in holiday music out or do much of anything out. So it was really it was really delightful. And I was going to tear up listening to Kristen do that, bring such joy to that arrangement. Well, I love you guys.


Grateful for all of you. Thanks, Bob Mirvac. We love you.


Love you. Merry Christmas, you guys. Merry Christmas. You're not a Grinch. I fucking love Bob Mervat, too. I know he's your soul mate. I know he's your musical soul mate.


Yeah, he belongs to you first and foremost. I'm happy to share him. There's so much a bob to go around, and he's just such an effervescent human being. He always has been. That's why I gravitated towards him immediately in high school. I was like, oh yeah, you're my guy.


Well, and he and I have a special thing. I'm not a musician, but the way we talk to come up with these theme songs, the like nuggets, I'll give him that.


He then does exactly how I imagined there is some kind of spiritual connection.


I love the armed and dangerous new things to me, to Davis.


I haven't ever compare with Monica Monica. I don't like Monica. I don't like mine. How was this your Monica? I was just don't like jazz, don't like bones, Lovejoy.


Yeah, and I tell him, like, I want you to take the song. I don't like reggae. Oh no, I love it. That was one clue number one. And then the next one was Joe Jackson said, imagine that song in Joe Jackson and also think of like an 80s wonderful sitcom theme song. And then he shit that right out. My goodness.


He's always been like that, though. He's always been able to come up with stuff on the fly and improv on those keys really tickle those ivories. Oh, you can take a look.


And we have a lot of new stuff coming up next year. So Bob is writing a lot of stuff for us. Yeah. Also, one of them has to do with Mommy. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.


Well, I'm very I'm very excited. Miniature Mouse invited me into the fold to maybe be on one of these microphones. We'll see but we'll see. Yeah, we'll see.


But it also is happening. So get ready, Muggles. Happening now and a contest, our first ever contest.


That's right, with best friend Aaron Weekly and Charlie Kurtis. Right. Perfect, Charles.


And then the same Monday, Thursday you've always enjoyed thus far and changed the arm.


Cherrie's have been craving more for a while because what you really guys you do have a cult. It's a wonderful one. I can't wait until you guys start.


I don't know whatever they did on Wild, Wild Country, but it's at the point in the documentary right now where everything's safe and you're watching the first episode you're going. I would totally.


That's right. It hasn't gone off the rails. It has not gone off the rails. But you guys will. So much for that. You know how many times I'm at what I'm shooting this movie right now just wrapped called Queen Pins with Kirby. How about so I worked with Forever and our main producer brand, this girl who runs read our films, Ben Stiller's company. She came up. She was like, I just have to tell you. So nice to meet you.


So happy to have you on the film.


But listen, I am a huge armchair, just like everybody at work that I me is like, so great to have you. But listen, listen, listen, Daxam, Monica, right. Like, can you give me a little inside scoop?


You guys are so loved.


Well, the armchairs have given us the greatest job that's ever existed. I'm so grateful. So I'm no. One of my gratitude lists going into the New Year that all of you guys stayed with us through the pandemic. I was worried about people not commuting and all these other things I like to obsess and worry about. And you guys are just there. We appreciate it.


And as many people want more content, we're also running some people's lives because we do get messages are like I can't keep up and it's stressing me out and I'm 12 episodes behind and take your foot off the gas. That's how I would feel. So for those people, we apologize.


There's endless time. You guys don't feel rushed. No.


You'll catch your life until age. Well, merry Christmas to everyone. Happy holidays. Happy New Year.


Hope you had a happy Hanukkah. Hope you had a happy Hanukkah.


And whatever else you celebrate with your friends and your family, we love you tremendously. And here comes twenty, twenty one bitches.


Oh, we're ready. It's on.