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What is up Daddy gang. It is your single father, Alex Cooper. We call her dad. We're back baby.
What the fuck is up daddy gang. It is your founding father.
On for another episode of Call Her Daddy Spring break, it should be spring break time, it should be all of you, all of us.
If you're in college, even if you're not if you're just in the mood to go on a spring break and you're in your 40s, you're never too old for good spring break. All right. And you want to get down right now. I feel you you want to get Rochet, you want to hit the all inclusive. You want to go to Cancun, you want to partake in the white T-shirt contest. If you got those big old titties, even if you got the little itty bitty you want a booty bump, you want a little foam action, you want to do body shots off of the frat boys.
You want to fuck the staff, you want to Instagram pictures and you want your friends black out by noon. But you can't. Because of what's going on in the world, because of this virus that has changed our lives, Daddy King, and it is so sad and is so depressing, all of you, I feel you you want to be bumpin in Panama City, in Vegas, Florida, Mexico, the Dominican Republic.
And I feel this on a personal level because I once, too, felt this way many years, many, many years before Corona even came into the picture. And what did I do about it? I got chlamydia. This story about to share with you daily gang is a testament that you don't even need to leave your hometown to fully indulge in the debauchery mentality that is spring break. Daddy gang. Here we fucking go. It was Boston, 1985.
No, it was Boston 2013. I'm a freshman in college. It all started with my parents asking me, oh, sorry, it all started with my parents fucking me in the ass, making it very clear at the beginning of college, Alexandra, you are on your own when it comes to spring break. We will not be funding your alcohol poisoning. Figure it out yourselves. All right. Well, Mom, look where it got me. She's like, fuck.
I said, fine, parents. Fuck you, too. I don't need you. And so there I was every single year.
I would save up all summer by working for that one thousand dollar shiny gold wristband that was my coveted ticket to the luxurious, all inclusive ratchet hellhole.
Specifically for me, it was in the Dominican Republic freshman and sophomore year doughty gang. I had the system on lock. I secured a bartending job at the good old Biju nightclub in Boston. All my Boston hoes shout out. It was an amazing gig and I fully leaned into the part. As you would expect. I pushed my tits out. You're like, nothing's changed. I pushed my tits up to my neck. I wore waist trainer. I wore a black dress, which in hindsight looked like a black shirt with my labia kind of poking out.
I had white hair, orange skin on fleek.
Tits for tips, baby. I was bartending Barbie.
OK, basically the mentality was I don't give a fuck what I have to do. I'm going on spring break and oh, did I get there? I lived for those all inclusive buffets. I worshiped the staff. I knew them by name. Swim up, bar, count me in. I'm wet. And for two straight years I lived that life. Until it all changed, the drama, like my whole life was flipped upside down junior year, motherfuckers, I decide, hey, the bartending life isn't for me this year.
I don't want to work, a.k.a. no spring break for you then, Alex. So what do I do? I spend spring break in Boston. My mindset was, all right, all of my friends are leaving. I'm not a fucking loser. I can still make this a good time. So I call it my pal Lauren Larin. I say let's bring the palm trees to Boston, maybe. And I said, Big owl.
I thought you'd never do anything. Of course, Lauren sitting in the room listening to me record this little trip down memory lane. Thank you. Goodbye. Thank you. LARIN So the bitch lands and the party begins be you was a motherfucker. And they decided, let's have spring break in February. But Lauren and I, we slap on those tans and we say, let's go baby bikinis. I don't give a fuck. Let's club insert Storyville, which was an infamous club.
You go downstairs, you come out looking like you just took a fuckin shower. And that that is exactly what Lauren and I wanted on that spring break.
So there we are. We roll up, we're standing in line. We're freezing our little tits off. And here's the thing. Every girl listening. Please pause for a minute, close your eyes and reflect when you are in line to get into a bar, a club where honestly, wherever the fuck, even a movie theater, let's say you will do anything to get in.
You turn into a different woman. You're willing to compromise your morals. So there I was questioning which tipped to flash and then all of a sudden a man emerges from the club and is standing at the front of the line talking to the bouncer. And I realize I know that man, how I knew him was because he was the promoter, slash bartenders, whoever the fuck. When I was working at Bijou, the guy with the alcohol, the guy with the Kinect, basically the fucking loser that you pretend like.
So he gets you into the fucking club. And the minute I saw him, we beeline it to him. He brings us down VIP for the next four days.
Lauren and I realize, fuck Cancun, fuck the Dominican. Vamos. I'll apply it to mother fucking Boston. Baby, this is the best spring break of our motherfucking lives. Then I wake up on Sunday. Spring break is over and I am in this man's bed. I'm sitting in Southie and I'm watching him slick his hair gel back, staring at his sleeve tattoos and his spray tan on the sheets mixed with my spray tan and a little tear drops down my face, realizing not only is spring break over, but all of a sudden the goggles are off.
And I'm really staring at the man that I've been spending the past four days with.
Then I realize I need to get the fuck out of here immediately.
The way I felt in that moment. I can try to equate to the way that most people, when you're in a foreign country or you're on an island and it's the day you need to leave your spring break, OK, you pick up your head from the bar at Senor Frogs, you probably slept there. You call a cab, you smoke a joint with your cab driver. He drops you off at the airport. He says, good luck with life.
You say, what life? I have nothing left to live for.
You walk into the airport and the nausea and the terror of the events that just took place are haunting you. You get into the security line and you vomit at every single trash bin in sight until you get onto the plane and you think about why the fuck did I make the decisions that I did? And you go on with your life having a little less of a liver, a little less of a heart, and you lost a little bit of yourself that trip.
Well, that was me. OK, guys. And I didn't even leave Boston. And I felt the repercussions of that spring break. I call a number and I immediately call Lauren. I say, wake the fuck up. We have one more mission to accomplish before I bring you to the airport. She jumps in, she says, Where are we going now? I say, we're heading on over to student health, sweetheart. Seven days go by and seven days, seven, seven lonely nights go by, I shiver at the thought of what will life be like?
What will the results hold for me? And on the seventh day, the Lord Ronno and on the seventh day I get a motherfucking email, my email that says Alexandra B Cooper. You, my dear, in fact, have chlamydia, hmm? You may wonder, do you regret it? No, I look at chlamydia, I wear it as a badge of honor. I've been honest about it. I told The New York Post, I have chlamydia.
I told you I have chlamydia. I told Mr Sexy Zuman on one of our first dates. Just so you know, I'm very vocal to the community, a.k.a. the Doddy gang. I've had chlamydia and it doesn't define me, but it's definitely something that has shaped my character development through my young adult years.
The point is, people are literally going to respond this episode and be like Dedalus. Just go tell us to get nasty. No, the point is, don't get an STD. And I will say kudos to me. It was my it was my first and my last. It was a badge of honor. I took it proudly and I never did it again. I learned from my motherfucking mistakes, dedicating the point of this story. I made my own fun in Boston.
It did not take me going down to Cancun to get an STD and have a good old time with a motherfucking promotor boy. I did it right in the comfort of my own home.
And that's the theme that I see also in you guys. You're like, do not put this on us, Alexx. We didn't get the ACTU to listen to me. I asked you guys to write into your right in your best spring break stories, and I saw a little theme dying of fucking lie.
None of your stories were like and that's where I met the love of my life and that's where I won a thousand dollars. No, you're wrong. Chances are the same as mine saying that's the night that I fucked five dudes, or that was the night that I got hospitalized. My dad found out through the ambulance bill like this shit was dark. But I realize those are the best nights. Those are the best memories, the ratchet ones, because what it comes down to daddy going is it's not about the place.
It's about the people. So Daddy King, cheers to you. Have your own goddamn spring break this Wednesday. You deserve it. Just don't get chlamydia like I did. And if you did, you pop the Palin Utah's gay gang. Welcome to the show this week. Here's the drill. I have a man coming on because I figured in the spirit of this being a very, very hectic, fucked up episode, which I really do encourage you to drink the service because it's going to be a wild one.
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Yeah I like. Oh God. We had so much drama also how fucking sad that you were like I really like this girl.
Oh so. Literally outside of music, I was like, oh, I feel stupid because I remember I was the fall guy, she was so angry, like, how dare you do like my competitors? So I was like, no, it's fine.
I spoke so highly of you and did all this to say that I was like like, fuck that as I look like a fucking idiot.
Why are we recording? OK, let's record. OK, so there's so much going. Oh OK. First ok. I don't remember. Oh ok. All right. Sorry again. Listen to me. You already know who's here to here is love is love Harry. Harry is back and we were just reminiscing and then we're like just fucking start recording. Harry and I reminiscing because they're like holy shit. The last time that he was on the podcast, Harry comes in and he's like, There's a girl and I love her.
And I could see something with her. And she's so smart. She's talented, beautiful. She fucks me right. Literally, right. When we released the other girls fully cheating on him and I remember we never got to like anything on the Internet because I was like, daddy going was like, oh my God, he's talking so highly like, who is the girl? Meanwhile, she's fully cheating on you the day we really fucking pipes like raw like raw goat.
And you're like, oh, OK.
So it's really sad. So I kind of was really sad. You and Harry, we need to get back into it. I missed you. I missed you too. It's been so it's been I feel like we had so much that happened.
Said like how long it goes on the November. October. What was crazy you moved here.
Yeah, we jumped into it. I live in like a boyfriend now. I do have a boyfriend. That's crazy. I know. Are you upside.
Yes I actually ok we are actually ok.
I didn't tell you Sally, why I was having a conversation with someone. I mean you both know and he was like saying something. He's like bro Alex Cuba. She talks the talk but she also walks the walk. And I was like, no fucking way.
What do you mean like in bed? Yeah, I guess I wonder who it is. He's he's like literally only hooked up with one guy in L.A. before I moved here and I was like, wow.
And I knew he would talk that way, but at least he thought I was like because I was like probie because I was like, oh, we filmed the episode that it was really exciting. Yeah. And then I was like, I heard all this shit like, I wonder if it's legit. Oh, he's just like, no man is I like this bitch. Like she does what she says.
And I was like, fuck. OK, well is he happy because I know but I could see people being like, does she literally make this shit up? She like nothing goes on Urban Dictionary and he's like, what's a blowjob? And I come in here like regurgitate.
See, I'm the opposite. I told you, but I just fucking like flopping around. I need you girls pussy one day. Hopefully you figure it out. I have so much faith in you.
Oh are you single. You're single. I think so. What I can I I've got putting habitual every day on this but God I was just about to say I had deja vu.
Daddy, do you not remember that last time Harry was on the podcast you literally said I'm like, are you single? He's like, I don't know. I don't know. OK, and you said that exact same time last time. What's happening?
No, no, you're not telling me. OK, we were speaking about this girl that I was stranded in the room, too. Yeah.
Abby, but this has got to be.
Oh, my God. I thought you were just telling us the girls I would never. OK, do you think you have a girl? She knows she can't because she went down. I fucked someone else.
She fucked someone else. And then I will keep your car. Do you say keep your was the way you go.
She keep my car. Then I went down. Well what was.
Yeah. It was so bad I fucked up. It was my fault. OK, we tell. I deserve it.
OK, she was going down. I told not to worry about this chick. About this chick.
We knew she was going down with that mean. OK, she's going on your date. No, no. I was being a piece of shit, OK. Like I was trying to like scheme something to try and be funny, OK? And then it looked way worse than what it was.
And I was like, this is bad. The next morning I woke up my car like I at the gym like cos I got key or down inside. It cost me 10k to get it fixed.
Holon, I have to say for a bitch to keep a guy's car is so intense it's crazy like you had to have like that should almost be like your baby momma. Like I don't see any reason maybe unless I'm in like a serious committed relationship, I don't see the reason to keep guys car. So you were in a full relationship? No. So then.
Yeah, but she would also like she well you like show up to the gym and just like sit outside like I need to see you like I but I like I invite that I would you kind of like the crazy.
Yeah. I'd be like get better like fuck. Wouldn't it be crazy if you got pregnant. And she's like why like every famous NBA player is going to baby mama.
So you want kind of you kind of want a baby mama. You don't want to follow the blueprint. Right. Right. Because you're not in the game. You know, you really don't have the NBA's financial status and you don't you like literally aren't the end. I've literally like other details, like the trash.
You're not even on like a close to roster. You're so why are you comparing yourself to make it up to a. Just out of it was a you know, a large epiphany, the last I saw, you know, maybe I don't maybe I don't know Daddy again. Here Harry is.
I'm so happy that you're single. I don't understand why girls keying your car, but I have to say men love the crazy.
And at least in the stages of you, not like fully wanting to be like this is my wife. Like, you love to fuck with the crazy when you're just dating, right?
Because it's fun.
That's why it's fun to, like, fuck with men. And so honestly, I kind of love that she's just like showing up to the gym saying hi. Hi. Yeah, hi.
But I also toxic as fuck as well. Like, why what are you doing. Nothing like that bad.
But I think about like I don't know why she just just kind of just asking her mom, like, why did you, you know, just mind games. I like tell us the mind games because I think a lot of girls would love to hear so that they can spot it if a guy is doing it to them.
Oh shit. OK, fuck. Like I'll just text them like I'll be bored whenever I'm bored. Is like the worst time for any girl that's ever like interacting with me because like all legit just start shit out of nowhere just like.
Full blown, just like I'm getting like and you know what I love doing guys like Psycho to me I'm like, oh my God, I want to one up you OK, because I'll be bored and then I'll just like take some shit like oh actually sort of crazy shit to do and take it.
Well if you're ever bored and you want to like piss on off you go and Google you like type like loading image and you'd be like explain this please. And you send it, you send it as like and it wasn't loaded. Nobody. What the fuck. Anybody look shut the fuck up and explain it.
And they're like, I can't see it. Yeah. It's not loaded in my car. Let me. He said, you just keep going and they're just like freaking the fuck out. Like maybe your Internet's wack, but like, explain it.
I'm getting pissed off and it is.
And you start gaslighting them. Yeah. That's called Goslee. This is V High. Like I am just like. Well, just like.
So you enjoy that with some people.
Yeah. Yeah I do too. The thing is it's crazy being in a committed relationship like really the first honest when I've ever been in and it's crazy because I felt like I had taken that playbook to the extreme. It is kind of nice, like I'm hibernating for a little bit, like I'm not being as crazy, like I do occasional things, but I'm nice in my hibernation. If he does anything, though, slightly off because I'm in a relationship and I don't get the crazy feeling me, I will go psycho.
Oh, actually this is what I did recently. Oh. Was like so dumb. I was just thinking about it that he decided I want more, I want more.
So she flew to New York for a friend's birthday. OK, I made her I'm like, who flew you out. Who you fucking like legit like made her send me like her hotel reservation, her flight details like everything like that, who she's with. I'm like, send me a video of like who's around you.
Just like because I was born. Right. I'm like, what. Whatever I like who you fucking. And then she's like, I'm not fucking oh I'm in New York and I'm just like, fine, you're out there fucking. So I'll go fuck someone. Oh fuck. Ten bitches watch me. And this chick's having a meltdown.
I was like, Harry, I'm literally with my grandma and you're like, Grandma, Grandma, fuck you, Izzy. Who is this. The grandma.
OK, so I kind of like it from what I'm taking is here, you know, I you're a piece of shit, but also you're playing the game.
And that's why I've always said, like, there's nothing wrong with it when she's around or a guy stays around for the crazy and literally is just because you guys are fully in the not dating Seijas, you're in the fucking around state. And the mental manipulation and the gaslighting is fun, like you enjoy fucking around, because then once it gets stable and normal and healthy, it's boring. Yeah. Who wants stable, normal, healthy. When you can have fucking crazy psychotic sex is better and then it's more fun and it's just a game.
So I think that's good because a lot of people throw in a lot of questions today for you, which I'm excited to get good.
But first something is in the air and that is why I wanted to have you on today, because although a little birdie and my little birdie, it means me going into YouTube and watching your new podcast, what's your new podcast?
He was the guy I just had to start trying to figure out. OK, Tap, he has a new podcast.
And I went on, I watched it. So cute.
Oh, amazing. Fuzzy flowers all around my heart. Are you so happy for you? Do you think coming on car daddy made you want to have sex.
Really? Yeah. Because he approached me, he was like, yeah. What's going on in the room. Yeah. You just said like you got to come on the podcast.
I was like, do you got to have your own podcast. You do. You are really good. You are really good at talking.
You are so. Yeah. Yeah I know. I know. So have you made any of money. Are you still brokers'. We're making money. We're doing well. Here we go.
We got a big deal coming in as we said we're doing. Although you're still on the decline, you're now rounding the corn to the up climb will go down, down, down you. I'd like kind of like a little moment where you flatline, you keep going down. OK, that's good. I was stable for a bit though. Yeah.
At least you're doing something that you enjoy while on the decline as opposed to sitting around just jacking off.
So I think that's great. So anyways, so I was watching and you said that you're sober. Yes. Which is so crazy because I chose you actually to come on the podcast today. Because they thought, Alex, really think to yourself right now, who is the biggest degenerate in L.A. that you know, and I was like Harry Perry so quick, Harry. Not even a question. I didn't have a stroke. I didn't have to think about it like you did.
Your podcast name, like fully was like a very piece of shit.
But now you're you're sober. Yeah.
Forever. OK, I'm trying to figure it out. OK, but like, that means obviously you were going a little too hard.
Yes. So we're going to reflect on the hard days. Yeah. Because I don't want to talk about sober you, although I'm proud of you and we can like round out to that end. We didn't care about sober me.
It is spring and I was thinking about it like, don't you feel like, OK, because of quarantine everyone was looking forward to the holidays like this will make quarantine better. Like we got holidays come out. You go to holidays like that fucking sack. Nothing was better. If anything, it was worse then we have New Year's and everyone was like New Year, New US 2021, fuck 2020. Then we get into 2021. It was like we nothing actually changed anything.
Now twenty one is just as bad, if not worse, because we hyped it up. Now it's nothing. But now it's spring. Did you notice everyone on their Instagram accounts this past week. I feel like specifically shit change of like everyone's outside. Yeah, everyone's in pools. Everyone's partying because it's spring. It's crazy, right?
And when I think spring, I think about spring break. And I know you've never been on spring break.
So everyone's like, so he isn't drinking. He didn't go on spring break and he barely went to college. Why is he here? Well, look, get that. But I'm thinking I've always asked myself, why is he here? I'll just leave. No, it's fine. Please say, because we have no option this week.
So we're both off the bottom of the recording on Monday. So we got no one. I was going to call tonight, but I know she's so unreliable, like, you know, like she literally texted me in like seven days being like, sorry, just seeing us like, fuck you tonight. So anyways, so I'm thinking and I'm like, spring break. And I was thinking about how I feel so bad for everyone that they can't be on spring break right now.
They can't be like enjoying the debauchery that is going out and getting fucking lit.
And I was like, why don't we bring spring break, Harry and Alex. Cool. Well, let me put my felt self first, Alex and Harry Edition. And why don't we talk about like I know you have. Let's talk about your college experience first, because I know you said what was. Yes, I was.
I was at university for two and a half years. Yeah. Not very good at it.
It wasn't doing amazing, but like so, you know, to two years and what country it is generally.
OK, yeah. So it's so different. OK, can you explain it to us. I feel like it's kind of interesting to me. It's literally like school.
You just go and like there was no like big parties. There was nothing crazy that kids everyone's just getting lit and doing the same thing.
But you you or did you like like actually live in a dorm.
No, I lived my family bought a house right beside it so I could live in it. Oh that's kind of nice.
Yes. Sticklebacks was mom got me to go to university. I'll get you a house.
OK, great. Oh. Added to it obviously I'd just like to do this one.
What do you do. You dropped out two years in. Yeah. How did you decide what happens. No it's a sad story. Do we want to go. Said. How sad, really sad, like it sucks. Just like we'll just we're going to get into it, but if it's not, it's not go to like my friend killed himself up. That's so sad. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. You're about one of your best friends.
I'm so sorry. I you meant dark. Yeah, I'm just. I told you. No, no. It was like to cry. You cry, OK?
No, I just I was getting like a little emotional that hit me. OK, you're right.
You know, it was heavy. Yeah. So it was like I was at university. I was trying my best to get by, do things and then my brother's like best friend guy grew up looking, looking out up to and everything like that ended up like committing suicide.
And then my other best friend from growing up shot himself in the leg because he was like he was fucked up on tranquilizers and was like considering it. Right.
So I was like, what the fuck? It all hit me just before. And there was some shit that happened with my dad. I was it wasn't doing so.
It was like a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was in like I was like, shit, this is about to be before my exams. I wasn't doing amazing. So then I'm like, fuck it.
I was like going to Facebook reality TV application and I was like, sweet, sent a photo of my undies in and they're just like, cool, we really want you on.
Three days later, I flew out to New Zealand, then went and did this reality TV show one hundred thousand dollars.
And I was like, sweet, you know, I'm not meant to be at university. Yeah. I mean, to do this shit.
So I was just like after that I was like, fucking by. Wow.
So that's how this shit all started to. But that's why I love having people on my show because I like half the time I have a whole conspiracy now about Bryce Hall and all the DeLillo's and I feel actually awful for all of them right now. I have a complete change of heart and I just feel like we've talked about it for in the last episode.
But like, nobody knows what anyone's going through, you know, like be kind, but OK, so heavy heart. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, no. It's really fine. And I don't want anyone to think I'm being disrespectful, like not staying there, but like, this is going to be an uplifting moment. We I'm so sorry for you that honestly it happened.
Yes. Moving. So you so you decide to leave college. Yeah. So you didn't have a crazy college experience?
Well, I did like I was a little slut, like I was a bartender at the university bar. I was doing as much as I could like. Right.
Fucking everyone. You were a bartender. Yeah. Oh my God. We I was too. I literally was just telling the story, my intro. But I can quickly tell you, basically, I got chlamydia once in my life. I literally I remember it so deeply to because it's like you just never think you're going to be that girl. And then like you're that girl and you're like, wow, I remember I was like in college. I was telling that basically I got this bartending job that I want because my parents like, fuck you, we're not paying for spring break.
So I was like, how do I make money? So I start bartending at this club. And it was like a high end club. And I am bartending. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing half the time. So I'm getting a full thing of vodka. Someone's getting cranberry juice like I didn't know I was doing like.
So I need, like, the guy that's like the bar back promoter and honestly, like something about a promoter.
When I was 19, I was like, well, I was so horny for this man and everyone was fucking me sleeve tattoos, like so fucking hot.
I end up fucking him like a couple of years later I see him in a bar and I was just like, who was the man that I always want to fuck? Fucked him, got chlamydia. And it turns out I got chlamydia. I was like, was it worth it? Was it worth it? So I was telling I was exposing myself about getting chlamydia on my quote unquote spring break.
Yeah. What can you tell us? A story that really embodies because I told you, like, we're talking shit that like we really fucked up our lives. Like, tell me a story that embodied like your college experience even though you didn't have spring break.
OK, this is actually disgusting. OK, know, this is actually horrible. I was thinking about on the way here and I was like, Alex is going to think I'm actually fucking disgusting.
I love I'm looking at you only Carrie. I've chlamydia, you know, hard. I like yes. I was like something you call me. I'm like in university. At university we're really like twice. Yeah. Thank God we're klam sister. Yeah. I love my eyes.
Like this is actually fucking disgusting. OK, I don't recommend anyone doing this. OK, so where I went to university was like two and a half hour drive from the airport.
And on this drive, like I'm a chronic sleeper. Once I'm sitting down like I started like not off and like at that time, like I was still learning to drive and I would always like to start, like not off on like long drives.
And I was like, put music out loud and I was like, scream, trying to get the energy out but have like energy drinks. Nothing was working because you're going to fall asleep at the wheel. Yeah, it always was. And I was like so bad.
What do I start doing. I'm like, I better stop beating myself off so, so hot.
If you're driving and jacking off, it gets way worse. Going to change the signs in Australia once a year. There's like apparently Harry has changed and we got to, you know, jumping up and driving, OK, it was so bad.
So that was the only thing that was keep me awake because I'd be like so focused like a screen. My favorite song was just like like like just beat off my shirt like crazy.
So it got to a point where whenever I was driving this road I just get horny as fuck.
Oh the road like brought back memories.
Yeah. I would be like I'd be, I'd come back home and I'm like driving. I'll be like, oh shit. Like I'm getting like, like the car that I was driving.
And it's this other girl I spotted on a highway driving as well. And I was like, I wonder if I could pull her over.
So I'm like driving down this highway. It's a. Two and a half hour drive, by the way, trying to get beside it like look like a mad man, I was like, yo, like slow down, like pointing out a car. There's nothing wrong with the car. No. Oh, terrible. You like. I just want that. Yeah. We call it literally like oh it like roadkill. Like driving.
And I finally pulled over like after like half an hour and she's like, what's wrong is I just put the number in, I need to call you and we're like driving.
I'm in my little Ford Fiesta like going back to where the road rage to be to park with a boat. And I like, I like cooler and I'm like, hey, where are you going?
She's like, I'm passing through this place. Like, I'm going to I'm going to see my grandma. And I was like, sweet. I was like, I'm going like, I live in this city. I'm going back. I have to work in like 20 minutes and just kind of pull up crazy shit. I'm not even lying. So she comes like I pull up to my house.
She comes she walks straight in. I remember looking at my roommate and he's just like, what the fuck?
Because this chick you're in college at this point. Yeah. Yeah.
It was like like not the cutest, but I was just like, I have to excuse me because it's a story now I have to call it.
That is five years time. Your vagina you are literally manifesting in that moment. Pull the bitch over fucker. Yes. OK, so she comes into your house.
So we come to our house and we're just like talking. And I was like, look, I've only got like twenty minutes, she's OK. And then we started kissing. I take a top of hickies all up her titties and like neck like, like a fucking trail. And I'm like, what happened here? You get attacked?
And she's like, No, I just saw my ex just before I come.
And I was like, that's enough for me. You were a little closer. I know you want to help me get out like I was. I was like, no, wait.
Well, why don't you just go, fuck, let's go. You see men still coming out of her place and you're like, Really? Yes, actually, we're going this stop.
So that happened. We were really just having sex. Thirty seconds later, I'm like in her.
Yeah, look, we got to go. I got work. I got to put my little fucking shirt on and I start like buttoning up and she's like, okay, sweet.
Never hurt her again. Don't know. And I don't know what what she is, where she is, what she's doing. No idea. It was the most bizarre.
I should have like how disgusting is how you know, how much like shout out. All I'm doing is shout out whoever you are. Road beefy. She never texted you. I have so much respect for that girl. Why. What it was she knew what it was.
You know, I tried to text you like, hey, like what are you doing after work? You would have been like, fuck off. You would have talked about the fact that she knew better and was like it was what it was and it will be what it is would go and like maybe she saw you on your show and was like, oh my God. Like, I fucked him. But she still has your number to do. What he did was honestly the fact that you are jacking off while you're driving, I'm picturing you, like, going to touch, like, stick shift and you're like grabbing your dick inside your oh fuck.
Wrong line and then you pull girl over.
It was hard when you're like having like a good not your eyes closed, you know, like twitching like, oh shit. Oh Harry. The fact that come on, call her daddy and you're like oh yeah. Like this one time in college and you pull out that out of your also the fact that you didn't tell the fact that you didn't tell me that on the first episode. It's so unbelievable that you've got many stories and you're like, oh yeah.
Just the one broad that I pulled over on the side of the fucking road. Anything can happen. So when you see a hot man on the road next time dying, try Harry's trick and masturbating and make eye contact. Eye contact you can make when you're masturbating is different than just normal eye contact. So I really appreciate you telling us that story, Harry, because honestly know just me, my daughter on this same highway.
Oh, me and my boys like driving to that city would always, always be like girls going because we have to go to school.
So once you finish school, it's like the biggest party ever.
So it's like we're going up and there's always like cars and stuff would always have. I like numbers on notes and I put them in different cars because it's always like bumper to bumper traffic. And when I get out and I give girls our numbers and just fucked these bitches, we that's so smart.
The fact that you also had a house and that was a flex.
I want you to come to my house.
Yeah, my house. And my mommy bought me that piece of shit out of your mom bought you that house. It's pretty dope.
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I honestly, I was dying laughing because I was asking daddy being like, hey, like send in stories of, like you that like crazy spring break stories. And I was dying laughing because I thought this one really embodied. Well, first of all, I thought I was going to ask you out myself and have you ever fucked Milfs? Yeah. OK, because this one girl wrote and she was like, so a lot of spring breaks like I've gone on, but one we did with our moms and dads saying this is from you.
And she said, needless to say, one of the nice things got a little crazy and someone walked in on my friend's mom sucking one of the guy's dick in the laundry room of the condo. The mom and her daughter got into a huge fight when the mom got caught. Can you imagine you're seeing your mom suck off a guy. And also she was fully married. And I'm like, who would you ever go on a trip like that with your mom?
Yes. Not what. After hearing that story, Harry is like, I want buy one of my mother's fucking wild shit like I would.
That would be crazy how they get these fucking boys in your room and go crazy. That's what you go you want to what? You love to have a good time. I just don't know. Seeing her on her knees like that, I, I wouldn't want to see it, but I want my mom to get back blowing the fuck out. That's totally fine. I actually kind of agree with you. I know that she's getting it. Have you.
Because I was thinking about you like you. I guess you had your house, but I was thinking about people in spring break and how they're like it's almost the best days when they're the most Rach. It's like right now, Harry, you're flying down when you go to like Miami and stuff and you're hanging out with rich people. So you're hanging like a huge fucking mansion. Yeah, but isn't it kind of the best when you're in those, like, little condos?
There's two bedrooms for 14 people in them. Shit, it's disgusting. And so when you look back at like, I guess your college days, like it was a little bit more ratchet. But do you think that your sex has stayed the same or did you enjoy, like, being a little bit more macho back then?
Are you like you grew up? I feel like I know right now doing what I'm doing is way better. Yeah. Yeah.
When I was at college like it was so I'd have like my friend would have it go on like the living room and like should that come into my bedroom and then I go back and forth like the shit with the girl would go back and forth between the two.
Yeah. It was great because he's in the budget so he had like fuck in the office. And when you go in the pussy. Yeah. They upset over.
Oh that's so nice of you guys were like providing for her in different ways. Yeah. You're Giver's. Yeah. It was so much fun.
That's so can I ask you, when did you, when did your parents know you started drinking. Because I was trying to think like when did when did you start drinking.
Like probably like sixteen. Seventeen. What grade is that like sophomore high school. I don't know what that means. You don't remember going to high school.
You kind of know because I remember like the water bottles and like drinking and like taking my dad's whiskey. But Daddy getting like the the theme of over drinking was just so apparent. And everyone spring break days and just drinking in general. And I have to read you the story because Daddy will get this. Maybe you don't get this. Did you never drink from, like, full water bottles? No. Oh, we have good bags in history. What are good and bad.
So it's like a gallon of wine.
It's just the cheapest shit everyday, like ten dollars and everyone has it. You have the worst hangover.
But like I'm drinking wine. Ask any Australian it's legit a going back. It's fucking ruined you. It's crazy.
And are you just walking around with like red teeth. You look good like you. It's like white wine, red wine, anything you need.
But it's terrible. That was like four Lokos in the United States. I remember in seventh grade my six friends and I drank Four Loko and we all had the different colors and all of us were puking in my front yard. Different colors. Yeah, did great. I was like, yo bitch. Like you are in seventh grade. My brain not fully developed. What do I do? Listen to this bit from the daddy. You have to respect it.
She goes, Hi Daddy. This isn't that crazy. Or Rochet of a story for spring break, but it's for laughs. Back when I was a dumb ass freshman in college, I went to Scottsdale for spring break with some of my friends from high school.
Back in the day, I thought it was really cool to chug vodka and blackout. People have different party tricks. Mine was chugging straight alcohol for like ten seconds, which upon reflection, was not a party trick. It was just fucking dumb. Jesus, it's I remember doing that in high school being like, I'm going to drink so much and I would just drink to blackout. I didn't understand, like, hey, like there's social drinking, you just drinking you black out.
She said it's funny because I would black out every time I drink and I didn't know why. Anyways, we end up going to this guy's mansion in the desert. My stupid ass is trying to impress this D1 athlete. And so of course I chug a ton of alcohol thinking I was really cool because I could drink. I was starting to brown out and decided to go outside and light the gas fireplace. I insisted on lighting it myself. They turned the gas on and I stuck my entire head into the fireplace and there was a small explosion of fire.
The room immediately smelled like shit, burned hair. I turned around in. My eyebrows were singed. Oh, no. I burned off a solid amount of hair in my head and it took four years to grow that hair back. Never again will I volunteer to light a fireplace or chug alcohol to impress some guys because it is in fact not impressive.
Holly. Do you share the fact that she put her head in a fucking fireplace, she's like, I got this one guy. Why would that impress anyone? I think when I think back to my high school days and I think about myself like getting finger blasted in the basement, I think about those high school parties. And like, I didn't understand the concept of, like, just drinking responsibly do.
So many people were asking me, have you ever dated a girl or have you ever been the one? Because I will say that again, I fully take responsibility. I have at times been it was more in college. But have you ever been the type of guy that so fucked up that you like that trigger finger, happy with texting or call?
I'm the worst. We really I am so fucked you right back.
I feel like guys aren't that bad and girls are worse. You're bad. Tell me.
No, just be like OK as I told you. Did I tell you last time where I have like I'll hit you. I had like 10 and then 11 on like.
No I didn't say that. I don't think so. Or I forgot about it. I probably didn't say we. What do you do. So like I said, I've never. This makes me feel better though, because I think a lot of girls are like, why do we always get trigger if you're happy and I'm glad I'm making you feel better, apparently. Harry.
So, Harry, if you wanna feel better about yourself, OK, well, maybe like the start of the night and I'll just like, you know, do a little blast like ten, ten, ten pm, not 10am, five, 10 pm. I have a little blast. And then come eleven, I'll start to narrow down the list. And then once it comes like two or three, I'm just like, I'll start seeing them as voguish.
Like I like like I want to marry, like I'm just so loving when I'm fucked up, like I'm just I'll be saying like the crazy shit like I was trying to like I'll tell everyone I love them and I want to marry them. And then it's just like first picking's whoever like replies. All right, we're gonna do.
Do you feel like it's an issue when you're telling girls that you love them too much for them, what do they like, what the fuck is going on with Harry.
But do they ever sit back? And it's just weird because they do the man ever is fucked up and it's like, I love you and you like me.
Oh, God, you look you look stupid. He was he was literally not being honest. He was doing it to get some pussy. Wait, so you said that to girls and they've said it back honestly.
Yeah. And then and then I'll be like, what did you fucking say. So you're like, I was kidding. I said, I love your pussy. Can't get the fuck out of here.
OK, so I, I've never had a guy like that and I always wanted to because I would feel like, no, I don't want to be with you.
OK, so you what is a night that you remember that you were like damn like I like fucked my life up from drinking for Jesus Christ.
You're like, how can I name one? No, I like back in the day like like something you're like damn like I like I really woke up like, whoa, I never got arrested.
Like I guess schoolies was legit, so bad. I was so fucked up. I had this girl in my hotel room. All the boys are getting lit.
I was beating that shit up in the room.
She she's like I need to go.
I was like, sweet, like, let's go, let's walk downstairs.
I was like drunk. The boys, like, on the way out, everyone's just like, hey, good stuff. Like clapping me. And then I started like like, oh, I have a shot.
So I banged like three or four shots as I went out and I went downstairs three in the afternoon because school is in Australia is like fucking mental. Three in the afternoon.
I walk outside, she's waiting for Uber. And I was like, like drunk lit started like ripping this like plastic off. This whole turns out it's like this big promotional thing that only comes out of the thing. And I'm like drunk, like ripping this like plastic sticker off this entire, like, storefront in the middle of Gold Coast. And then, like, security guards come over like what's unanimous, like, I'm not telling you fucking shit. And then they're just like, OK, we'll put you on the fucking ground.
I'm like, I'm arrested.
Like like they're just like, what the fuck's going on? This guy is just like, what are you doing?
I was like, I don't know. And then I got taken like an hour away with no money, no wallet, no nothing. And I say to the police station locked up till like 1:00 in the morning. So I missed all the parties, everything like that.
I love me like I miss all the parties. So it was so bad jail. I fucked up, but I was in that. And there's all these fucking drug heads. I come in just like like talking to me like crazy. I'm like seventeen, like frail. I got like a ripped shirt on and I'm just sitting there, you're like the cool sexy and they're like, let's fuck, you're on.
Yeah. Like, please do it quick. But I look like are you at all. But that happened that I have to like fucking run back like an hour.
It was like an hour. Yeah. Run. You got a car. No, I didn't have any money. I started running. And what did you call. How did you get out. I didn't know you were in the drunk tank. OK, you didn't get out here.
No, I actually still do. But I was. It was like, what? They're just like, okay, you like sobered up like you're good.
Like they can't take the store and have to go to it like it was so bad. Yeah, he was so upset. And I'm like, look, I'm sorry I had to get my mom to call him. Like he's really sorry.
Like he didn't mean it. Like all this stuff. He's such a good boy and a good boy. You like. No, mom, I'm not. Yeah, dude, that is so I've never been to jail or into the drunk tank or anything. Like I feel like I just got really lucky.
No, I remember in college I've never told a story and call her daddy, but basically I, like you, had to swipe in to the dorms and it. Was even sober, it was hard to swipe in with your card like so fucking hard people when you're sober, they're like, I can't get in, but when you're drunk, it's three strikes and they call the ambulance and it's like, so fucking on.
Why are they call fucking? And I don't know why. I think it's like state rule or something in Boston, like I don't know what the fuck to half of us would always be like. It's not there. We're literally sober and we can't swipe. And so when I'm fucked up, how am I supposed to swipe into my dorm? So meanwhile, being on the soccer team, my coach made it clear, like if the ambulance gets called, you're literally kicked off the team.
So all of us would like Wrangell together, make sure, like, whoever was like the most fucked up, like we have to get them in, able to swipe in, like we literally tape it to their hand the right way, like have them swipe. No. So when I go out with my girlfriend, who is my roommate at the time, and I was like texting this Patriots player, like, oh yeah. Like young thug Alex, like ready to take down the athlete.
And he wasn't like fully on the Patriots yet. So he, like drives into Boston from Foxborough is where they live. And by the time he gets to the club, I'm too fucked up. I don't even remember him getting there. So my roommate starts flirting with him. We hang out. Finally, we have to bring Alex back to the dorms. I get to the dorms. Am I? At the time, my roommate was only five one, so she's carrying me into the dorm.
I exwife, I swipe, I swipe the man. The guy goes, we're calling the ambulance knowing like, holy fuck one. She can't I don't even give a fuck if my dad gets the bill, I can't. I'm going to get kicked off my team. So my little five one roommate takes me over her shoulder, rushes out of and the guys I come back in, like, what the fuck? Like, I'm calling the ambulance right now.
She shoves me into a bush. My, like, heels are just up in the air and she's waiting for the Patriots player to come back. She called him. The guy comes, he picks me up physically, puts me in his car, drives us all the way back to Foxborough. I don't remember any of this. Wow. I wake up in the morning.
I am in head to toe Patriots training gear. Oh, I remember nothing. Wow. Like like was it like a cute one that.
No, no, hold on. It gets worse.
I wake up, I'm in like on a on a couch. There's two doors to my left in my right and I'm, I don't remember anything. My roommate's not there. Like I'm like what happened. I don't even remember meeting the guy. Oh shit.
I open one of the doors because I'm like left or right. I open the door. There is a I don't know if it's the exact way, but like 300 pound man laying in the bed with, like, his clicker, like watching TV and he goes, hey, what's up? I start bawling my eyes out. Close the door like that. I fucked up, man. Let's say I'm like trying to feel my vagina. I'm like, am I?
Or like, does it feel like did I fuck that? Luckily, I don't freak out. If I go I run into the other door because I'm like, what the fuck I need to hide from this man. Like, I don't know that man. I open the door and there's my roommate in bed with the other Patriots player that had gotten off. And I started bawling my eyes out and she thinks I'm upset because she, like, fucked the dude that, like, I fuck up with it.
I'm like, I'm so happy to see you guys. It was the worst night of my life. Wow. And I ended up throwing up all over his new car and throwing up all over his Patriots gear.
And the saddest thing was he literally got cut that day, so none.
And he went back to Ohio. He's like a normal job. So I threw up all over his car, threw a restraining gear, ruined his life.
And I was like, I need to chill from drinking for a minute. Wow.
It's like crazy. Like, I can't explain not opening that door, man. I like seeing that man, like, no shame, but like, I was like, I don't think I made that decision.
I really fucked up. That's crazy.
I was like, really, really upset with myself for a minute. But then when I realized I did it, I was like feeling better. You get cut from the soccer team. Was everything OK? Nobody found out.
And the thing is, is like then and one girl ended up getting, like, hospitalized for drinking and she, like, didn't get caught. But my coach, like, didn't like me.
So I was like, if I did get caught she would totally go, wow, that was fucking awful, awful shit commercial. I wanted to quickly give you an exclusive offer from Liquid Ivy. I feel like I need an I.V. after this week's episode. So Liquid IV Daddy gang, we are really trying to hit it hard and 2021 bottles to the face. OK, but what we don't want to do is have a hangover. So that's where Liquid Ivy comes in.
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You order, I would stock up, guys, so every time you have a hangover and it can little be on your bedside the minute you wake up from a hangover. So I want to talk about drugs.
Oh, yeah. Because I want to hear, like, your experience with running drugs. I like being oh, I don't know if I've been that open on my show about it, but I guess, like, I can't get arrested for talking about it.
But yeah, my experience with like partying and like party favors drugs, like I never really dabbled like my high school experience. I like tried to smoke weed. And then I was like, yeah, like, that's great. But like then I went to college and I couldn't because I was getting drug tested for soccer. So I never did drugs in college at all. And so I was just like drinking.
And then I always said, I think my mom is like disturbed, but I always was like, I want to try cocaine. I said to my mom one day, she's like, OK, thank you. But I was like, I just want to OK. She's like, OK, thank you all. Thanks for letting me know. I always like I want to try coke like I want to just see what it's like. But then I never really like tried other drugs.
And so when I got out of college I did try coke and I was like heroin, dabbled with heroin. It was like I like my vibe. Like return me. No, I never I really never tried anything other than Coke.
And then I was and I was just like like, what is your experience with drugs, actually?
So the first time I ever did Coke, I was in Spain. Oh, Spain. And I was 18.
So I did my first ever like party drugs at schoolies and they called Ping is in Australia this year. Twenty dollars a pill. Yeah, it's crazy. So you have it.
And it was just it was actually nuts. I thought I was the fastest man alive, like I was running like crazy, you know, I get no I look at me, I'm a fucking stringbean. I look like a fucking long flamingo.
We wait. What are they coping is. And what are they. They're legit. Just like like pills. Just little pills. You pop them like because like drugs. A lot harder to get in Australia.
What do you think is like what is it like ecstasy. OK, MDMA like something like different complexes and stuff.
Probably rat poison. Who fucking knows the old favorite. Right.
But the first time I ever did Coke, I was in Spain and I called my mom and I'm like, mom, I fucked up.
I tried cocaine. It's crazy. She goes, bring me back some.
I'm trying to lose some weight. And I was like, I was like, Mom, really I've really fucked up like you. I mean, Paxo, she's like, No, how are you fucking idiot?
She's like, you're so stupid. Yes.
But like, no, she's like I if you could get so I'm like, oh, I lose some weight on my mom. You need to relax. You are in a business.
Don't you think that like when you have parents that are more. I'm not going to say the parents are like here here's cocaine like the ones that are not like if you do drugs, you will die and I will kill you. Those are the kids that go to college in the first week. They're in the ambulance because they had never drank in their life. They've never done anything as opposed to the parents that are more like accepting and are like, listen, like if you do it smartly, you I want you to do it in the house like etc.
. So I don't know.
I just feel like as a parent because, you know, I'm pregnant. Here's the news, everyone. I'm right now, I just think, like, I feel like those kids like are better off in the world when not again providing your child to handle and be like, have fun, Becky, but like just being supportive.
Yeah. Because it's going to happen. Did you like Coke the first time or. No. Yes, I was.
I was crazy. I had the most lit ex. I fucked this chick in an elevator. She squirted all over. I've slipped over.
I want to I was in a hostel was crazy. So it was so much fun. It was so fun.
I was uncomfortable but actually so I grew up my parents told me about when they did heroin like they tried heroin.
Not even fucking kidding, but because my my family. Please don't try heroin. Yeah. No, don't do it. Don't do it whatsoever.
I would never do it. No, but it was just like my family so transparent with everything because I would tell my parents and I look like this is what I want to try is what I want to what I want to do because I'd rather them know.
And and the year and I'm like in Hollywood, like crack down on the side of the street. It must be them all you want to take. No, I go. You're saying you can be open with them.
Yeah. Yeah. So they were living in London. This is like when.
No, like in their twenties and they're like, oh we before we die we want to try everything like wow, they're like all we want to do everything the like thinking maybe we'll give heroin a shot. Right.
So they fly to Thailand because they're like we're going to do in London. It's fucking shit. We're going to fly to Thailand.
It's shit quality heroin like that. Good.
They go to Thailand, they go like the poppy fields. They get like a place on the beach for two weeks. And like we're just going to try it for two weeks and then we're to go. Absolutely cold turkey.
Craziest story ever. Like, my parents are young and in love, like in these poppy fields, like doing heroin, doing heroin with each other.
Like, absolutely. No, I was like, if that's not love like that love, I don't know what is poppy fields, heroin. Like we're gone, baby.
Like this is where it's like fucked up. My dad thought he killed my mom. Right. This is like this. I've never told they're probably gonna be upset, but whatever. Love you, Mom and dad. No, it's a crazy, amazing baby. Great story. It's great.
So they were at breakfast one day and they ordered like this mushroom omelet because obviously mushrooms like it does get you really fucked up.
But for people, my dad goes to the toilet as it's like coming out. He ordered it.
My mom saying they're hungry as fuck eats the whole thing. And then my dad goes, Schneeman, that whole thing that was for people. She's like, oh, well, goes on a fucking trip of a lifetime.
She's on the back of the scooter like like passed out like legit just like in a like in a coma type shit, he thinks. He killed her, so he's in the ocean dunking my mom, just like trying to bring her back to life, nothing's happening. What is it about them that do shoot you up with heroin to try and bring her back to life?
It's like, oh, we need to, like, John, revive her. Nothing happens like the jet. But she came back alive. She just had a great time. Yeah, she was just on Mars is fine.
Dude, I love you. Like nothing happened in my right way because your mom is alive. OK. Good to know. Dude, what. That's like a movie your parents fell about for a movie script. Yeah, they hate each other.
We know. So happy endings. Beeville didn't fucking end well, but I swear they never did heroin again.
Never. Never. So I saw a photo of my dad smoking pot like in the poppy fields and his eyes like cross-eyed. And he was just and I asked him, what's it like?
This is like your body just feels like warm, honey, and you just feel like you're just like honey, like floating around. I was like, that's crazy.
Thank you. Never do it. And then he he went they went back to London.
They said it was the hottest segment of life, like trying to not do anything, like they lock themselves in and that would just completely fine. Like, we'll never do it again.
Everybody listening to this podcast do not fucking try heroin. Any drugs? No, seriously. Because. Oh, my God. Like I've watched. Did you ever see the Timothy Charlamagne movie he did with like, oh my God, it was so good.
He was like he was like real life story, not him being addicted to heroin, but like, I don't know is a good movie. Go watch it. I don't even know it.
It's called Fuck. Anyways, I'm thrown off because we're talking about heroin and call it out of the World Series. Fuck, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Nobody do drugs. Do not do drugs. So fucking no, don't do it.
And don't you fuck your life up. You will like fucking losers.
Don't do it. Don't do it. Your parents fuck you parent. No. OK, so what you have tried cocaine.
I my experience with coke everyone. What the fuck are you guys talking about. This what was this spring break episode. And people were like never have I ever like done coke off like a stripper's asshole. And I was like, OK, like I've never really talked about dabbling in drugs. And I think people are probably like, oh, that girl's a coke addict. Yeah. Because I talk so fucking fast and I always have.
So you probably thought that when you met me. You know, the truth is, is the first time I tried Coke, I was like a cool, but like I was like the coke dripping down your throat like no fun.
I was like, I actually feel like I am so energetic. I don't need that. Yeah, but my worst experience was I had and did not know what ketamine was.
Oh God. OK. Oh I've never told this is a fucking rabbit. Let's go.
OK, so I didn't know you were, ketamine was. And I remember one of my old roommates would always talk about like a k hole and I was like, what is the hole? And like, what is ketamine. Yeah. And so she would dabble in ketamine and cocaine a lot. And I was just like, I just am not interested but like totally do you. But also like you're kind of scary when you're on it. And so I remember her saying like a whole ketamine is like horse tranquilizer fucking bad.
And so when you go into a keyhole, you literally cannot move your body. You cannot speak basically you're just like out for OK, also have you listening.
Please do not you know the last thing you should ever do?
It's actually fuck. Yeah, it made it bad. So I'm, I'm like reconnecting with an ex in New York City and this is like a couple of years ago and I'm at Casablanca. If anyone in New York shout out like Casablanca was like this place. And so the bouncer was like, like friends with my ex. And they were like, yeah, come downstairs.
Like we have Coke and like, I will do Coke if it's like one of those nights, like it's like New Year's Eve or like a like a very specific moment, like I'm not doing coke every weekend, like I don't need it.
I don't give a fuck about it. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, whatever everyone's got to do, I'll go downstairs. So we're downstairs and they have like a metal straw and I'm like, OK, like professionals. And this dude is like, here you go, take two bumps, like one in each nostril, like you'll be good to go. And so I watch my ex do it and I don't like I don't even really need this.
Like, OK, fine, fuck it. Like I'm not going to be a pussy, which in hindsight saying that, like if you are like I'm not going to be a pussy, then don't do it because that's like what what, what do you think you're trying to do. Yeah.
So I was like fucked up like whatever and half the time like almost sober you up in a strange way. But I was like, all right, like it's the end of the night, whatever.
I take one hit in my left nostril and I remember being like, huh, I was a little weird, a little weird funky.
The I think you're put it in your right nostril. Here you go. Like take two. And I was kind of like and there was so much in the straw.
Wow. I take another hit in my right nostril. I don't even make it up the stairs. And I am like I grab my ex's bicep and I'm like, that was not cocaine. Like there's no fucking way that was coke. Like that was enough for like to be coke. That was a lot. It was ketamine. So to take that much ketamine in two fucking nostrils up my nose crazy. I get upstairs and Casablanca's like this like underground type place and I'm on, I am like literally out of my mind sitting there I can, my body cannot move.
I feel one thousand one hundred about like terrified and paranoid and I can't move my body and I can't speak and I want to articulate like I want to leave. But a part of me also didn't want to leave because like to the thought of going home to a quiet apartment was even more terrifying. Sort of like be kind of in that environment was like I was the worst day of my life. I just remember being like, don't ever do you fucking kidding me.
The worst. It's the worst fucking I feel also the worst. Thing is, if you try if you're trying it for the first time and you're around someone, so your friend is like judging you. Yeah. Be away from those people. Like, you need to be that comfortable. Like, if you're like we're not preaching anything. But if you are in a position where shit like that may happen, don't be around. Someone is going to judge you and feel like it's like make you feel out of place because that's the fucking worst.
That makes it worse.
And anything when you're like with someone that's just like the judge saying, oh, what are you doing?
More like more like, what are you doing. Yeah. Like this so bad. I agree.
Anyone younger that's listening. That is like hasn't done any of this and you're like, oh I don't try it. I'm literally sitting here telling you if I had to go my entire life with either drinking and doing drugs or not doing it ever again, I would pick not doing again. It's not even not worth it. I'm not the you're like. Yeah. Like so amazing. Not worth that. Yeah.
That's why I've been like so so clean like cold turkey from everything because it's like there's just no point.
And also like I was looking at the scene in like Miami and like L.A. like who goes out, who does all this shit. No one's million. It's like none of these people have economy be like millionaires, like change the world or be positive. So I'm like, fuck, I need to pull the fuck away from that because that's not going to benefit anyone, including myself.
I love it. You're saying that because I feel like we've had our, like, fun moments of talking. We're talking about what a fucking episode.
I know. I know. Like, he's like, well, I feel like I'm like, no, I think it's good to talk about it, but like, it is crazy because I feel like you're right, Harry.
Like going through college and not doing it and watching other kids, like doing all crazy shit. I was like, oh damn. Like I am kind of almost happy that I'm like put in this little bubble that I have to be for four years because it protected me. Yeah, I also agree with you, like I'm trying to be rich as fuck.
I'm trying to make my fucking money.
I want to be the biggest podcast in the world. I want to, like, keep building this brand like I want to be so successful. Yeah. And to do so, you can have nights where you enjoy yourself, but to be constantly putting your body through that, like so many mornings when you want to like wake up on a Monday, but you were fucked up on a Sunday.
I'm like, yeah, it's so. And especially like I found that, like I disconnected from myself, like, yeah.
Now that I've been like, completely sober and like back in my I in my body and in my head, like, I realized it's like shit I was seriously pulling, like ripping my soul out of my body by like just getting fucked up and like because don't you think you kind of go numb and you go in a cycle of like you drank and then you're like do whatever work you have, whether or not you're going to like nine to five or whatever the fuck you're doing.
And then you just go back to raging and you never have enough time to be like, I'm going to like take care of myself. I want to work out today, like I want to, like, expensive. Oh.
So to save that money, you go on a holiday, going to go shopping, just get fingered by some dude on a beach.
Oh I do. Once your big trip go for it instead of every fucking weekend going to your stupid brunches.
Imagine how good an Italian fucking sausage would be between your bun.
Oh like sabr. Yeah. Save up high quality sausage and not the little wiener dog. You're not talking about the though with the love foreskin. We know what that was.
It had to do with it. I was never going to force get out.
I always like roasted about it what it is. No I said I'm using it but how's your fucking wizard hat store. Yeah. I don't know. I mean we always have arguments about it because I growing up like in Australia, a lot of dudes still have foreskins like it's a big deal.
How did your parents decide? Are you circumciser. Yeah. Yeah. OK, how did your parents decide to clip you up? I don't we actually don't know.
My dad was like, this is big enough. It's fucking like a toddler. But I actually actually I just think by I don't know. But I've always just having like this argument that growing up I'm like, look, it's a sleek design.
It looks good. It's New New Age.
Oh. Because you were the odd man out in Australia. Yeah. I have to go now.
I'm like, I'm in my fucking stomping ground on my Armijo fucking circumcised.
I go with it. That's like the amazing way to look at it. Wow. So you must be so at first, like you had to build confidence around your penis because everyone around you wasn't circumcised and you were like, what's my shiny toy down there? Like, why is your nose like, where's my little hood? Yeah. And then you came to America and you said, Oh, look at all of you. You guys have convertibles, too, you know, we're born.
That's so great.
But do you think has your friend said anything about like do they think they have better sex with it?
I actually don't know. I just know that he he just always says, like, it's better to beat off because I have to use lube.
But he's just like that. And I was like, look back OK to each his own.
But a fuck off. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Extra skin, a fucking elephant trunk start hairy and angry.
That's like every girl has like different vagina. What was that thing trending on tech talk that was like girls didn't know that there was like considered an Audi and any for a vagina because I don't know, I guess girls didn't know that it was like trendy.
I guess the younger generation college talk, the girl that would one time my friend was fucking this guy in the living room.
Right. She come my roommate.
I was like eating her up, but I was still so new. You were double that together to my boy. True. From the Gulf Coast guy.
But because I didn't know what I was doing and I remember like, I was very scared and nervous and I went down there, I was like, wait, you guys hold up. You're not hitting. It puts a finger down by a flap. And I looked at it and she just goes, flip. Flips over this like sail of skin. That sounds, oh, we do that to the side.
And then again at the moment it was really good but I was like, oh, there it is. It looked like a fucking robot before.
See, that's the thing, girls. I remember one of my friends had said, like, I think I want to get labiaplasty more to suck on.
Come on. Thank you. I was like, if that's the case. Yeah. Who gives a fuck vaginas.
Yeah. It's doing its thing. Yeah. So any girl that's considering if you are about here we go. Just clarify like you don't give a fuck.
Know what a vagina. I don't care.
As long as it tastes and smells good we're chillin. So I'll be down there like licking, sucking, eaten away, having a fucking merry old time.
Like whatever's down there you're taking it your mouth. You're not picking like, oh, there's an extra part here. You don't get it. I'm not looking, I'm looking up at you with my fucking head. Make sure you have a good time. Oh.
Oh that's nice. Yeah that's nice.
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I have so many questions from the daddy gang that I'm excited because I asked them to write in questions like some of these are fucking good.
So we need your man advice. Oh shit.
OK, so a lot of girls, it was actually daddy going. It was sad because I saw a lot of themes of like, why do you guys go to me? And like, why is this like whatever? But one of the questions was, do you look at a girl's butthole and doggie and are you grossed out by it? Do you care if it's shaved or not? Do men prefer bleached assholes? That's a lot of questions. Let's break it down.
Why do you stare at a girl's butthole in doggy?
I'm usually looking at their waist and that bump there. Yeah, I'm looking at the whole experience. I usually look at what the head's doing. If it's up, can I pin it down?
What's going on? Sometimes I've looked down and seen like a little bit of hair, a little bit, a little bit of bum fluff.
And and I'm just like, you know what, my eyes are going up.
Is that what they call it? Bum fluff? That's what that's what you call that bum, which was a little bum, which is what you just say, oh, shit, the little bub whiskers.
I never that was good.
No, I did fuck this chick recently and I would picked her up and I looked down.
I was like, OK, I see, I see that I acknowledge it and said we respect each other. I'm not going to keep looking at it. Got it.
You got eye contact somewhere else. The ass cheeks the way. And you look away from the what did you call it, bum bum whiskers.
We cool though. You would prefer that it's not.
You prefer that it's a little cap. Yeah.
I look just quick rise up totally behind by the whole crazy.
But like some girls you didn't know, do you prefer a bleached asshole or you don't care.
I don't care whatsoever. Like do you think.
Yeah. Yeah. It just makes you wife.
Yeah. Because even though I will not be believed. Well, OK, so you're not.
So you're not staring at her, but.
Oh, and that's the thing. Like, I think that girls get so self-conscious, like when you're fucking dog like them. But I feel like it's like, look at my ass. Like, this is an amazing experience.
Like girls, you should own it and be like, this is the hardest fucking position. And you don't have to look at his face like that's a great experience. Don't be fucking focused. Men love doggie.
So boom. So why would men care? And even if they do look at your asshole, literally my boyfriend sometimes is like, oh my God.
Like push it out. Like I love your body. Like he loves my ass.
Like I'm like, that's great. That's hot to me. That makes me want to like, get Nasier. Yeah.
So girls know the answer is how do I stop.
OK, if a guy flakes or bails on plans but always insists to reschedule, is he just not interested. I've given him an out a few times like saying all good, you seem busy or like joking, calling him a flake and be like we don't have to risk his schedule. But he always insists for context. We've been talking for weeks and only hung out twice now. But this keeps happening.
OK, it's still fresh as well. So you should be top of the priority list. Yeah, usually weeks. You should be like number one on the priority list. He should be making time. I agree.
He's a piece of shit. I was going to say. I think when if a guy seen with a girl, if you want to see a dude, you make a scene, dude.
So I feel like a lot of girls wrote this in being like guys, like bailing on them and then rescheduling to not hang out. I a lot of times think, too, that means he's got a main that he's like seeing and he started talking to you and like maybe he's like, I don't want to lose her, so I'll keep rescheduling because they may actually, in their mind, intend to hang out with you. That's fine. But every time it comes to the time that you're supposed to hang out, he probably is like, I want to go see this other bitch, or he's just too tired because he was just with the other bitch and he doesn't want to see you little shit like his day.
I had a girlfriend in Australia and I made her my top priority when I first moved to L.A., flew out, made sure that we could see each other like every other week.
So, like, if you want to if you want it, you'll get it.
That's so true. That's the thing. Like if he's like there's no like there's no excuse for hanging like everyone. Beyonce has twenty four hours a day.
Right. You think she's hanging out with Jay-Z? Come on, you sausage. Well, Jay-Z can go cheated on Beyonce. Well, I don't either. Yeah. So I just kept of it. OK, but Harry, I remember last time the girl that you were talking to, you know, her lost her life. But I remember you being like she's the type of girl that I'm finding myself.
Like there are people that you will literally make time for. Like you're in a business meeting on Zoome. You will look down under the table quickly, send a text like thinking of you in the middle of the most important time of your life. If they don't care about you, they're not even texting you when they get up for their fucking lunch break the you can make it happen if you want to make it happen. Exactly.
So that's that. That's that. Fuck that guy. Fuck him. You take a hike.
We've been seeing each other for six months exclusively sex dates, etc.. He says that he's not ready for a relationship.
So. So I was trying to give him some time to get there, but I can't stop it. But at this point, I feel like he should know whether or not he wants to be a long term. He's told his mom about me even yet. I'm not his girlfriend. What should I do? I'm confused.
Six months. Six fucking months. I've got to read again. Why am I so rid of this?
Six months. Six months. And he know he told you.
Mom told his mom about my mom, about a guy the minute I match with him on a dating app. The minute you're talking to do it and my mom knows everyone. You're not special, dude. It's I know it's six months.
If he's if he's legit, not putting a fucking ring on it at six months, you are one of a handful. You one of many. You another notch you are not.
And and you got to recognize you're not. You got to lean into knowing that the fact that he is telling you he's not.
That's right. That's right. Oh, here we go.
He's getting angry, studying when you are ever in a situation where, like he said, he's not ready for a relationship. When a man is obsessed with you, he will want to skip the relationship like I'm ready to get married. Yeah, like you got to get out. You getting fucking run through raw. You need to go tips on how to play with the balls during a blowjob.
From your experience, what's your date? Oh, I was thinking about this. Oh, of course. Awesome. No, this guy was sucking my dick and the weirdest shit was, is she put up her hand and was like, OK, ladies, if you're listening, our balls can actually go back inside us.
So don't do that.
If you're if you're giving us head, don't put the palm of your hand and apply pressure like that because they'll go inside and I'll see it pop up beside my dick and I'll freak out because that's just fucking terrifying when you see you're not supposed to. It's it's it's gross, you know, it's not fun. We don't want to do that. She pushed us.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, I grabbed this. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So she ran about pushing up.
So and when a girl does that though, like, I feel like girls are so nervous to do something wrong, like oh my God, I'm too nervous to even touch the balls because what if I do that. And then it's like he unattracted to me, like I fucked up. Like what are you.
It just takes a bit of communication. I think I obviously like giving head and then like taking a break when like when there's all little saliva on that your while sucking not insane saying great. Not like it's always good to like not say anything that like you really care about but like if you hold them or just like.
Yeah. Cradle them like a newborn child. Yes. That's fun. Yeah. Like just even like put a little bit of like holding them like little baby egg. Yeah. Females in there. Yeah. Yeah. Like just like a little scooper and you just let them plop there and you can like baby birds. Yeah. Yes. Two little baby birds together. Yeah. And then you just kind of like pull like pull them together a little bit and just hold them there.
Yeah. And you can like maybe move around a little but like you don't need to do much. Yeah. Some guys obviously like a little bit more aggressive. But you're saying just as for starters girls for literally take your hand and just cut them, acknowledge that they're there. Yeah.
Like let them into the party with them and saliva having a Jacuzzi. Yes.
But you could almost take your your thumb, girls, if you want to get a little crazier and just lightly just start then rubbing one in the other.
But that's like we're just that's advanced. Yeah. Oh but that's not that. It's very, very easy. Girls like one is on the dick, one is around the balls and a light thumb action and that's all you have to do that single handedly could just like bring your blowjob game up a little bit, right.
Yeah. Just to acknowledge the balls are there. Yeah. They want to come to the party to help and like they don't need to be the attention, they're not going to be the star, but they want to be the backup singers film.
Yeah. And the backup singers need a little bit of light. Yeah.
They need to sing a little bit of both so hopefully. Oh OK. Here we go. Yes I am hooking.
Oh do I notice. Oh do you care if girls shaved their vagina not shaved their vagina.
Yeah. You sure. Like like. Yeah. Like if you've got a fucking forest down there. If it's the Amazon. Come on. Yeah.
Like you're like oh ok. I got to get to the pussy. Well the thing is like I love eating pussy and if there's hair in the way that scares me, like I don't know, floss my teeth, like I'm trying to go down there and like find the clit like it's already a fucking mission, right. Like we're going down there. We're digging in. Do you care if there's little landing strip? No, that's that's cool, right.
OK, to have it on your asshole. Just make sure it's in the right area down there and it's not on your ass. OK, that's fair. I think sometimes like a landing strip I agree can be cute, but then like the rest can be shaved. Yes. OK, I agree. Beautiful.
Do you what is an x what is an acceptable way to not swallow.
It hurts me to say that to, too, because that's against what I believe in and my religion, but I I understand there are some girls that are like I just want to say religion.
My religion is what I birthed this part.
I had to go spit my come back on me. She looked gross. How do you like it? And I'm like, I can't control it. You're like my babies. Yeah. I felt I felt like a little slut.
I was laying there. I was like, oh, I got naked, like flailing around my cock. And I was like my cum all over me. I was like, why would you do you're like a girl and you're like, come over our tits.
We did you. So have you. So you've had girls. No, no, no. But yeah.
So what's like a like a if you say a classy way there's this girl actually did she took it not like a champion right in the mouth and she just nodded at me, got up, went to the bathroom and I think she wash my mouth out with like water OK.
And then I did it like that and I was like fine with it, but you wouldn't prefer it. I don't like his I don't give a fuck like I'm a freak.
If I'm not in your mouth, I'll kiss you. Right. I don't care. I didn't have time. I want to like what I say. So yeah. It's like what. Yeah, I want to make sure I don't taste like fucking sour skittles.
Just like double checking your diet at the same time. Perfect, but might not also get double check on like on the right regimen.
I figured it out. OK, let me just get a quick swab. So you OK.
That's there you go girl. And you don't want to swallow the best way.
And that's what I would think is like keep it in your mouth, run to the back, not run like a bucket to the bathroom.
Like, fuck no. You can just kind of make your way to the bathroom.
If he's a fuck boy, spit it on his face. Absolutely.
Literally dribble it all over his body and then get the last bit right in his head like a piece of shit. Fucking son. You don't even know where my client is. I don't even come by. That's great. That's good advice. OK, do you ever come when you're like coming in, you're jacking up?
Do you think of someone's. Yes, always.
You in the weirdest mode with this shit right now. We my roommate Lauren was just telling me about that. She was like every single time I masturbate. Yeah. I as I'm like climaxing in the moment, I think like my brain shoots to someone. And just like sometimes it's been like weird revelations. I like immediately think of like someone that I work with. I'm like, what the fuck?
But like she thinks of people. I look at it like this is about the best I could think about. But usually, like, I'll be watching porn.
Got it. And like imagining it. It's with some other person. That's what this guy said. He was like, I'll either be scrolling through porn or like going through Reddit and F.W. GIFs. Yeah, I know.
That's that's good. That's good. Yeah. That should be. I wrote this. This is the dude I like.
How are you like Harry. I'm like, oh I wrote that because I want to talk about it.
OK, so and then he was like and then I'll oh he said then I open Instagram to a picture of a girl right as I'm about to come. Have you heard of this before. I'm the only one who does this. So no Harry that's normal.
No know I'm about then not like you don't pull up our Instagram. I'm not. I'm usually like in the moment you think.
Oh yeah. Or just like I don't know like if I've got. Oh no that's normal but. Right. Just thinking about that person.
Have you ever had a girlfriend and while you're jacking off out of a different girl. Yeah. OK. All time. Totally.
Harry, I didn't say Harry Reid. Right. Call your Harry Potter line sweet.
So what are you. So you have a podcast.
Yes. You should come on it. I believe we got what we need to talk about, though.
I know we talk about like everything like twenty first. I didn't expose you. I just exposed that. I know. I know. Oh, my God. I know. I don't really go on that podcast, but I do kind of like going on other people's podcast because I feel like I can like, chill not not to be a host hosting. It's kind of hard sometimes. Yeah, I try to get used to it. So you have your new podcast.
Yeah. It's so much fun with Abby.
Revive it in with Harry Giles. What's so good. What can we find it on. Everything. Everything. Yeah. We're trying it every Tuesday. Oh every Tuesday. Yeah. Oh that's kind of fun. Yeah. It's, it's all really.
Well we sat with top 50 trending top twenty. Top twenty now.
Wow. Oh yeah. We're doing the how how are all your other ventures doing.
Are you telling me you were doing like tech and like yeah we're doing the most like we're very busy but I'm trying this boxing shit right now. I just called out Jake.
Dude, what I know it's so bad, really. That's why I can't have a girlfriend as well, because he will.
That will be very good if Jake Paul finds out who you're dating, you got to watch. I swear to God, I love you. You every got someone in this room is probably a rat. Before I release this, whoever you've been fucking he's about to start fucking her tomorrow.
He actually did the AMA like not like like a while ago. I can't wait to ask you off camera who it is. Yeah. OK, wait. So you're doing well with your life. Oh the daddy game. You love them. I love you guys. Thank you so much for the news.
Last time that was crazy. Oh, I forgot I was so horny. I was like, I can't reply to that again because I would like because I'll I'll get myself a scared dude.
Wait, you might as well. You can't come back because you fucked your daddy. Did I tell them to send you nudes last time? No, I you did it.
And then they started sending me news like crazy. And then I sent you like a message like, hey, this is. Any person in your story, and then it just fucking doubled down like every minute, 10 pairs of titties and I was like, holy shit, like legitimately, oh, daddy knows how to do it.
They're fire dying. I love you guys. That's really exciting for you to do it again. I'm happy. Harry Josee, thank you so much for coming on. And you are a fan favorite. Now, at first when you came on, people were like, why the fuck? Yeah. And then when that first episode. Yeah, totally. Well, I still do. But I think that you really turned a corner and I do love you.
And I think that you are such a personality and I love having you on here.
Oh, I love you. Thank you so much. I have a very good. Thank you very.
Oh, OK, Daddy gang. That is it for this week's episode. I hope you guys enjoyed that. It honestly is so fun to record with Harry. I feel like we have such good chemistry and we haven't hung out since the first time we ever recorded. So it's literally the second time that I've ever seen that kid in real life and we just have such a good time. I hope you guys enjoyed the content. I feel like we just had a lot of fun with it, talked about a lot of good shit.
Next week I have off ironically, it's quote unquote supposed to be my spring break, if that's even a thing. Podcasters get a spring break. There's not going to be an episode next week. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm excited. So I'm having my mom come out and she's going to be staying with me for the week. So that will be really exciting. I haven't seen her in so long. I guess it would be I didn't even get to go home for Christmas.
Yeah. So I haven't seen her in a really long time, so I'm really excited to see her and for her to see my house. And she's going to see Mr. Sexy Zoom Daddy.
I said my butthole cringing because she's going to meet his family and that's going to be an entire situation that.
Yeah. And so it's going to be a situation. I've never done this with a boyfriend. I've never had my family meet anyone's family like this. So I have kind of no fucking idea what I'm doing. And he and my mom are the ones that were like, yeah, we're doing it.
So I'm gonna I'm basically getting held against my will and it's happening. And we're just going to go for it. And I'm going to block out not no, not by alcohol, just just mentally and smile and some other thing figure.
I don't know. No, I'm sure I'll be great. And also it is Lauryn's Spring Break next week, which is funny. She is actually two weeks off, which is wild, so it'll be fun.
I'm sure there will be a lot of stories with Lori and Lauren and we'll leave Lori home to sleep some nights and hopefully we will get some amazing stories because Lauren is back from Chicago. Lauren got covid and now she's finally back. She got stuck there for 19 days, which is wild. There's so much happening. And I'm really excited because when I come back, I already have a guest locked in. I'm currently picking the location because I want it to be a very, very nice chill environment that this person is comfortable to talk about their life in because it's going to get intense.
I'm excited. I don't think you guys will ever be expecting this person on the podcast. Daddy can go make sure you follow me on YouTube. I'm going to be posting a vlog content while I have off from the podcast. Other than that daddy gang, I love you guys so, so much. And if you're bored, go listen to old call her daddy episodes.
I guess I will. Technically, sadly, I hate to say it. See you fuckers in two Wednesdays.
Six six six.