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It is. Your founding father got it again for another episode of Call Her Daddy.
Oh, my God. I had sex. I got my vagina. Now I met Miley Cyrus. I'm in a really good fucking mood. Daddy, is that you? Welcome back, guys. This week is about to be a solo episode, although I'm doing this and like my friend Lauren is just over in the corner of my room, she's on her phone. Sometimes when I'm podcasting at home, I just like someone to just, like, kind of sit near me.
But I have to be very close to them because I get a little uncomfortable. I'm like, and then the penis entered the asshole, the asshole. The penis went in a hole and then I passed out. So I may have you come over here in a little bit to ask me some questions and to, you know, I don't know, switch up the tone of the fucking episode. We can only listen, Alex, for so long. But for now, you can sit over there and keep doing whatever the fuck you're doing.
Hello, Daddy. Gagging Alex, you just said you had sex. What excuse me, oh, yeah, I did. Guys, I'm so I can you tell me a good fucking we would like I am having great fucking sex right now. There's no denying it. I'm not going to beat around the bush and it's hitting. Right and in.
Listen. The beginning of Korona, I remember back in the day talking to you guys, like the cobwebs have formed and my pussy feels like it's sewn shut. The next time I have sex, I'll be like a born again virgin. That's kind of how I feel about how we all feel. Unless you're, like in quarantine with significant other. It's just it's hard.
So when Mr Sexy Zuman took his Peter Pecker and shoved it inside my guts, I started crying tears of joy. I'm going to dissect for you guys what the fuck is going on with Mr Sexy Zoome man, just because I'm excited about it. And I also know that we're all in quarantine and there's not that much fun shit happening. So why not give you guys the dirty details and we can all pretend that we're fucking him? Daddy, I will allow us all to pretend like we're fucking Mr Sexy Zuman.
OK, ok. The last I left you guys off was I told you that we had gone on our first business meeting date thing and we hooked up and then I quickly left you with a little cliffhanger and I was like and then he ate my pussy like a god.
So now you're saying your fuckin sex, you whore. That's exactly what I did.
The glorious night of when he hit me, now I'm just going to start from there, like, let's just get fucking right into it. Oh, my God, Alex, I'm shortsighted for you. You got your pussy. I know. And here's the thing.
I a lot of times I would rather have sex or get fingered because the amount of men that do not really and it's not even their fault, but like a lot of men just aren't the best at eating a girl out. And even if they're decent, sometimes the way the way that those poor men think that their tongue is hitting my clit, sometimes you're like, oh, that's my belly button. No, they're not your belly button. They're just like in your asshole.
No, but sometimes a guy's tongue can just not do physically impossible do with a vibrator can do.
And some guys have stronger tongues than others. But some I'm just kind of like, OK, you can just come up here, start rocking me.
This is getting really boring. Well, the game has fucking changed, Daddy getting Mr. Sexy Zuman. Eats pussy like a God, I fucking hate saying that, because that's giving him way too much power, but it's fucking true. So I go over and we wake up in the morning and before I know it rise and shine, my pussy is thrown on top of his face.
He grabs me and he lifts me up and he puts me and I'm sitting on his face and he starts eating me out and I am like, oh God. Like it's the morning. I'm not really in the oh oh oh oh oh.
Mr. Sexy zoom zoom. Oh fuck guys. It was pretty fucking amazing. And I was so surprised because I don't I didn't know him that well enough sexually. Yeah. I had such good chemistry with him. But when I tell you that I had an orgasm on his face, I had an orgasm on the man's face and I was honestly really just in shock within myself and so proud of my vagina because I was like, usually I feel like a guy won on the first time.
He's going to eat me now. I probably won't come.
And to the fact that I was so wet that I, I like cum. I'm like, oh my God, that was oh my God. Like freaking out, like holding on to his headboard and I lift off his fucking face and my cum is entangled in this man's beard and like not that that's I mean that's amazing. That's super hot. But some guys are like fucking bitch boys. And I like tell him I'm like, oh fuck. Like I'm like in your beard.
And he looks in the mirror and he's like, that is the fucking hardest thing I've ever seen. Like, Holy fuck, I want to eat you out again.
So that was amazing. So then you're all like, I'm so happy. When the fuck did you fuck you? OK, I'm getting there. You guys relax. I'm getting there.
So he was like, I want to take you away for the weekend, let's go to Santa Barbara, we can go to the beach, we can drink, we can get a good dinner. I have a couple of places out there that I want to bring you.
And I'm like, OK, do you want to have sex? No. But at that point, this was like six dates and I was really fucking wanting to fuck. I'm like I and listen, on my podcast in the past, I have told you guys I have this thing I do where I make a guy wait for a really long time to have sex with me. It's just something I've done for a while. It's very calculated. But also I've said, but if you want to fuck, then fuck, I've always said that.
And so in this moment, I wanted to have fucking sex. I literally wanted to get fucked. I'm like, this is what I want. So I did it. Overall, just to give you guys the grading of the sex, the sex is amazing and I need to literally save the sex and all the details for an entire new episode, because I don't want to continue this vagina monologue, but it is amazing. Now, all of you are like, congrats, Alex, are you in love?
What about door number three? What's going on, guys? Just relax, OK?
Calm down. I've been talking to my therapist. Everything is fine. I want to tell you guys a little story.
This is how Lauren, this is how I really know I like him. And this is the Alex Cooper fucked up way of knowing I like him.
One night we had just fucked great sex. Time to go to bed. It was like twelve thirty at night. And I'm laying there and here's the thing. There was another man in L.A. that I have never met in my entire life. OK, never met him.
I'm sure he's a great guy. And if Mr. Sexiest Man hadn't come into the picture, I definitely would have gone and hung out with this man. We had been messaging on Instagram, then we were texting and he had been wanting to hang out with me. But then I met Mr. Sexiest Woman and one thing led to another and I was like at his fucking house every night we were having the best fucking sex. So I'm laying there after we just fucked.
And I look at my phone and the other guy in L.A. is like, hey, come to the studio, let's hang out. Now, young thug, young, old Alex would have been like peace, Mr. Sexy Zuman, I'm going to double dip tonight and head on over to the studio and meet this other L.A. man. I went as far daddy gang as looking up the address to where this guy said he was. It was eight minutes away from Mr.
Sexy Zoo Man's House. That's how close I got to getting up, putting my clothes on like the War I and striding down to some fucking studio to hang out with him and his friends and start drinking at 1:00 in the morning. And Mr. Sexy Zuman is like, What are you doing? And I'm like, oh, I think I like I might leave. I'm acting so fucking weird. He's like, What do you mean you're going to leave like baby?
Just like, what are you doing? Like we're going to sleep.
I'm like, yeah, I know. I think I have to leave psycho. Alex, this is the only time I was acting a little crazy around him because I was having an internal battle.
And let me kind of walk you through what that was.
It was like. This guy is amazing. We just had such amazing sex, but also me not knowing if I want to, like, feel tied down and not feel caged. And I was like, go see the other man that you leave L.A. and you saw both.
And I'm trying to justify it in my head. And I'm like, no, it will be good because maybe it will make you like Mr. Sexy Zuman, even more like fuck off, Alex. No, so old me would have left. But I also know here we go again. Are you listening maturity's every single time I have done this in the past, usually when I leave the guy that I was in bed with, usually, historically speaking, I mean there's a couple of one off that wasn't the case, but usually.
I regret leaving and going to see the other guy, so I'm sitting there with Google Maps open, checking how long the Uber will take. Poor bastards like these women staring at me, looking so fucking hot had just fucked my brains out. Amazing orgasm top notch. Couldn't have asked for fucking better. I looked down at my phone. I close my phone, I don't even answer the guy, I literally told him I was coming. Don't even answer him.
Put my phone on his nightstand. And I go to bed with Mr. Sexy Zuman. Now, I don't want to get emotional and I don't want to start crying, but the personal fucking growth here, folks, OK, and my therapist said this is amazing. So just fucking be happy for me, OK? I'm pretty fucking proud of myself because they're in the fucking morning. I was so fucking happy that I stayed. This bitch got me breakfast in bed.
We fucking went to his country club. He took me like we were having the best fucking day. And then he finally brought me home at like three o'clock in the afternoon. We had an amazing day together. I just wanted to share that story with you guys because and I ended up telling Mr. Zuman that that happened.
I just I thought that to me, which I do commend the other L.A. guy for, he literally kept reaching out and he even could tell there was someone else. And he, like, made a joke like, well, if you're not with the other guy, why don't you come over? I do commend him for keeping and being persistent. But my headspace was like, I don't know what the fuck is going to happen, Mr. Psyche's, you mean.
But what I do know is that I'm having great fucking sex right now, like really fucking top notch.
Hello. I'm having fucking amazing orgasms. This guy is eating my pussy like a God. Like this is the shit that I fucking want and I want for all the daddy gang. And I'm sitting there and if I'm in a fucking bed where I'm getting fucked, right. And that was the goal, then why the fuck would I leave to just go hang out and schmooze with someone that I don't even know I've never met? He's a super cute guy.
I'm sure he's amazing. And I may meet him one day before that trip. I'm like, why am I leaving this bed? Man is giving me everything I fucking need right now. Obviously, we love to keep our roster full, but if you're in bed at the time with the guy, that's fucking you, right? Hello, Golden stay fucking loser. And that's what I did. Lauryn's like talk about your feelings. I think overall I'm really enjoying his company.
We're actually going away for my birthday, which is exciting. So the next week there's not going to be an episode and then the next week there's not going to be an episode. You guys know that we have forty episodes this year and so the last week of August and then the first week of September for Labor Day, there are no call her daddy episodes. So I figured, OK, cool, I'm going to go away for my birthday. I never celebrate my birthday and Mr.
Sexy Zoo man was like, I want to take you somewhere. So yeah. So I'm excited. I think it's going really well. Did he ask me to leave the country with him in a few months and go on a work trip with him. Yeah. How are we making plans for the future. Yeah. Am I obsessed with him? I don't know what's happening. Alex, what about door number three? Yeah, he's still in the picture.
I think he feels me pulling away a little bit. Lots of updates, but for right now, we're fine. Like it's fun. We're having great sex and it's good for content, so we'll keep going. He keeps asking me.
He's like, so is this for content? And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, you're in my life for content.
But we also like his dick. I don't hate this romeyn hello to all the men listening. Stop only pounding the pussy for thirty seconds. You're a fucking quitter, you're a loser and you're a quitter. She wants her pussy to be sore, ok? She doesn't want to be like, oh wait, I didn't feel anything will happen. And you're like I splurged on the carpet. Not a move, not a good fucking move, guys. Roman swipes are clinically proven to help you last longer in bed.
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Ten times longer. It's great. So, guys, if you want to last longer in the bedroom, which I literally do not understand why you wouldn't. Also, girls, you can get this for your boyfriend and be like, hey, babe, stack them up. Let's fucking go. Brudenell, I'm not feeling too fucking hot. That was thirty seconds. Thirty seconds to fucking short. Let's go for two hours bitch. Guys, you're going to go to Roman Dotcom Daddy and you're going to get your first month of swipes for just five dollars when you choose a monthly plan.
Again, that is get Román dot com slash daddy. OK, so I'm going to lose my fucking mind because I recorded an entire section with Lauren and we were getting really deep and opening up and it was a fucking great time. And then I just went to edit the episode and my entire fucking microphone is like fucked up and the chord is half broken, which I didn't realize. So I just had to go get a new fucking chord. And you can't hear one fucking thing I was talking about with Lauren.
So that's just welcome to fucking Wednesday, guys. What a great day. But in the spirit of keeping the theme that I was talking about with Lauren, basically this is annoying stuff. We do this, but this is the first time you guys are hearing it. I wanted to get a little deep with you guys just for a minute, and I promise I'm not going to do this the entire episode, I'm going to get fucking wild in a second until you guys blowjob to tell you guys quarantine tips.
But for a second, I just want to be really honest with you guys, because I essentially went on to Jocky Schimmel's podcast called The Bitch Bible. And on that podcast, Tjokkie asked me some pretty deep questions and serious questions, and I answer them honestly. And I had a couple of daddy's gang members reach out to me and be like, hey, like I thought this is what you were going to do in this new single father era. And like, why aren't you talking about this on your show?
And I think, honestly, I'm going to dissect the situation for you guys quickly, just so you guys can try to understand where I'm coming from, where like basically.
This show, when I don't talk about sex, the horny men got upset, they're like, that was the most boring episode, like the men loved the Savannah episode. And then there were some girls that were like, oh, my God, I don't think it needs to always be about sex. Like, I loved your last episode where you guys were, like, more real and open. So there's constantly people that are loving one side and then hating the other side.
And it's just it's like you can never fucking win. But that's where I just have to take my creative control and trust in myself to make the best episodes. But sometimes it's not as easy as it fucking looks, and I am going to tell you guys about this, and I meant to tell you guys, but I first kind of opened up about it on Jackie's podcast the night before I released the last episode. That was the third episode into the new single Father era.
I had a full blown panic attack, mental breakdown, anxiety, whatever the fuck you want to call it. And I was like losing my fucking shit. And you're all probably like, what? Like, why, bitch? Just upload the episode. It was great. I literally was in I will never forget where I'm sitting in my parent's living room, I'm editing the show and I had to literally just stop. It was the first time, like, I got up.
I couldn't even listen to the episode. Guys, I went over onto my parent's couch and I just curled up in the fetal position and I literally couldn't move, had a full blown mental breakdown. And my parents had to talk me through it for like a fucking hour. And I know this sounds so fucking stupid, but just bear with me here. The anxiety I had of. Wanting to make sure that the episode was so fucking good for you guys because it was going to be the first episode that was kind of like all of the drama, let's start the podcast into a new era.
And I didn't think it was good enough. I didn't know if it was funny enough. I didn't know if it was interesting enough. And so I had a full blown mental breakdown. And my parents eventually were like, Alex, you need to get the fuck off the couch. You need to get in front of the computer, edit it and put it fucking out. And maybe it's not going to be the best episode. Maybe it won't be the funniest or the most sexual.
But I promise you, like life goes on and this sounds fucking depressing. I, I don't know. I just think everyone can relate in life when you care so much about something, obviously the stakes are higher. Your job, a project that you're working on, a fucking midterm and exam, whatever the fuck it is, a relationship when you're invested emotionally in something so much. I care more about this show than I care about my relationships right now.
Like that's where my head is at. I give a fuck way more about the show. So when I don't think that it is what the best it can possibly be because I'm such a fucking psycho perfectionist. Yeah, I fucking lose my shit like I'm like, fuck. And that was me in that moment and I never shared that with you guys. I think just because I want this podcast to be so fun for you and it because it is fun for me but.
The amount of criticism that comes with doing shit like this, and I'm not being like, oh, woe is me, but it's just fucking wild, like I was talking to learn about it and now it's all not going to fucking beyond here. But I was saying to her in the beginning of when all the drama happened and the new era began, I tried to be super interactive on Reddit with people and I wanted the daddy going to take part more so in the show with me.
And as time went on, I realized I can never read. Read it ever again, it's the most toxic fucking place, it's filled with a bunch of anonymous people that can hide behind their screens and say a bunch of shit, they would never deem it to me because their name would be there. But like on Reddit, people feel so powerful and they're so mean and all they do is talk about how they want this and they want this. And this isn't as good and this isn't as funny.
Let me just have a little Alice Cooper moment here for a second, because I just want to say this, and I've wanted to say this, but like, I was like, oh, is that me?
No, I don't care if you don't like my podcast. I beg of you. I beg of you. Go start your own podcast, go ahead, try. I want to see you fucking start your own podcast and meet me up on the fucking charts. And I know that sounds cocky, but I don't give a fuck the amount of work I put into this fucking show. The people that have such negative shit to say about it on a daily basis.
And you go on and you troll on these places. I'm like, I beg of you, bitch, start a fucking podcast.
Let's see. I want to see you interview Miley Cyrus. Let's see how many questions you can get out. And I know and I know people like Alex, you don't need to address the haters, it's not really about that. I think it's more so just like. My stream of consciousness is like, I'm so fucking proud of this show, but with that comes honesty that like I do have shitty days and I think a lot of people are like, is it all a facade?
Like is she always know it's like fucking Instagram. I come on here and I talk about sex. I'm having a great chat that's going on in my life. But if you want to know the shitty stuff, yeah, I fucking stress out about this show 24/7. This is my life and it's like every week I want to make the next episode better and better and better. And I want to keep growing and I want to learn how to interview people.
Trust me. Are you guys ready for a goddamn blowjob tip? You're like Alex, we're about to literally lose our minds.
Stop being so fucking depressed. We love you. I fucking love you guys, too. But I just had to say it because I do have fucking feelings and I do feel shit on a daily basis. And that is why I promised you guys to share with you more in this new single father era. And I apologize if I kind of like forgot that for a second. I do a lot of talk in my therapy and then I come on here and I'm like in a good mood when I record.
But the people that are so positive, which is the majority, I fucking love you guys, your DMS, your support means everything to me. And I think as much as like my scale is a little bit bigger because I have this online platform, I do think everyone can relate. Like everyone gets hate on the Internet, whether you know your friends. We're talking shit about you because you posted a selfie and you were feeling yourself. And then there are those fucking bitches that are assholes to you and they're like, that's so embarrassing.
Why is she posting pictures like that? Or people that are just constantly shitting on you in social settings? You everyone has had mean girls in their life, like, trust me. So go fuck yourselves. If you're listening to this show is a hater, literally, I would say suck my clit, but I wouldn't even give you that fucking privilege. You goddamn fucking skanks. Daddy, I fucking love you. I'm so sorry for this rant, but I just had to say it.
I'm fine every week. Mental breakdown on a daily basis before I press upload. Bear with me here though. We're fine. We're fine.
Are you guys OK? My therapist is going to be like, so what was that this week, Alex seem on the verge of an absolute breakdown. I'm fine. I'm twitching, but I'm completely fine. One hundred and ten percent not OK, but OK. So now for a blowjob tip.
That's so disgusting. No kidding. OK. Here's the thing, as I start to get a little sexual with you all. Daddy King, here's the thing that's happening in my life right now. Men that I'm hooking up with expect the Glock Glock, they expect me to show up and do the double hand twist, OK, so I've got to fucking come up with a few new fucking moves, smooth moves, which I'm pretty sure it's a dietary thing or something that you eat so you can poop.
So smooth moves. OK, what I want you to do is I'll close your eyes and envision this, ok. We're focusing. On giving a hand job at the top of the deck. OK. You're going to use your whole hand literally, like all four or five, four fingers. Yeah, if you have your fingers use for a few FiveFingers, use five. I don't know your life.
OK. You're going to take your whole hand and you're going to basically, like, grip right below the tip of his dick, so you're like on his shaft, but like right below that little Regini Ridge where the weener hole starts, like the weener tip, mushroom looking thing fucking happens with your mouth as wet as you can. Like, literally, I want it to almost be like this is like kind of gross. It's so it's not gross. It's amazing.
Get it as well as possible.
In your mind, I want you to think of your tongue and your mouth being this wet cushion. It's like the top of his dick is literally engrossed in a puffy, wet vagina feeling almost in your mouth. OK, so like your going into it that your tongue is a little bit out of your mouth, so it comes over the bottom teeth. OK, you're almost doing that thing where you kind of like flex your tongue into like more of a U shape.
OK, it's not just a flat brimmed tongue. You're putting your tongue out of your mouth a little bit. You're going to keep your hand and your mouth together and your hand. You're going to be twisting. Right. And then going back up and write and write and write and write. So like to everyone, hold your hand for a minute, OK? Put it in, like, put your thumb and your fingers together so you have like a circle, OK, and you're working your hand right.
And going down a little bit, coming back up in a left motion and then going back down. Right, talking back up a little bit left. And you're kind of doing this like a little jerk off motion. OK, you're doing that at the top of his desk. You're doing that while the top of your mouth is sitting at the very top of your hands slurping the tip of his dick while you're jacking him off into your mouth.
Is this making any fucking sense? It's like the flick of the wrist or down. We're up. It's a cycle situation. You're jacking him off.
But what I what I why I'm saying this is so good is because by you concentrating on the top of his dick, you are essentially condensing the sloppiness. And it's all just sitting right there. And I ladies, listen to me. If you take one thing. Well, there's there's a lot of things happening. But take this. I want you to be like slurping ladies in the past, with the luck, luck and other blowjob techniques, there's other things you need to be focusing on this technique.
You need to be slurping because there's no gagging in this part of the blowjob because technically his dick is not even going that far in your mouth. I think you let's all pause for a minute. I hope you're all writing this down. That is key. You are not this is like you're like Deep Throat, his dick, because you are holding the upper part with your hand. Think about that. So the mouth is not there to provide vertical up and down movement.
Your mouth is there to provide the sloppy ass wet component and the noises you're keeping the top of your mouth connected to the top of his dick and you're basically just having your tongue sitting there to create this, like cocoon for his tip and you're jacking him off onto that wet, fluffy, heavenly spot. That feels amazing.
OK, hello. I feel like I'm writing a descriptive narrative in school, but it's like orated. I feel like I would have gotten on this project. OK, so everybody, are you with me? So it's like, OK, disgusting. I know, but I'm OK. It sounds backward, but the blowjob is basically all about the handjob. Like when I tell you guys you're jacking them off. When I say that, I also mean like your hands are literally half the time when you're rotating up towards the top.
I want you to literally go past his tip half the time and you're like almost your hands should almost be in your mouth when you go all the way twisting up to the top.
Basically, this sloppy mini blowjob technique, it's like you're just condensing your blowjob into one area with one hand and your mouth being formed open, sitting there fucking salivating on the top of his dick.
All my bitches that are like, fuck, I have Cottonmouth. How do I get his dick? How do I get his dick? How do you suck Dick when you're high? Alex this blowjob technique for me is brilliant to start a blowjob with, because by concentrating on the tip, the more you slurp in a concentrated area, slowly the saliva will start to build up because you're keeping that saliva close in your mouth. You're not spreading it all over.
Chalong, OK, and then slowly, as you want to go into a different blowjob technique halfway through, you can ensure it. Every inch you're taking just slowly get super wet. But don't move down any farther until that. Even just on the very fucking tip, you've got a lot of saliva then. I think I like the one hand on the deck right now because with the other hand, I think it's super hot if you're cupping his balls lightly and then.
OK, ready? You're taking your middle finger while you're cupping his balls and you're kind of putting it straight out so his balls are sitting in the palm of your hand and then your your middle finger is straight out and you're rubbing his taint area. That is key. Everyone's like, what? What is it with the areas between his fucking asshole and his balls? OK, that area feels so fucking good. If you can lick your finger, everybody, like, literally, I don't even give a fuck, take your finger up, put it in your fucking mouth and go down, cup his balls.
Middle finger goes all the way sliding through and you're lightly pressure point up and doing like little circular motions or even just like hard tapping up and down. You stimulating that area while you're doing this Slurpee fucking saliva thing on the top of his dick. To me, that is like the best fucking way to start a blowjob. You're giving yourself an opportunity to get it super, super, super wet. You're stimulating his taint. Obviously, you can just cut and, like, kind of lightly massage the balls first and slowly as you're getting more into it.
Go to the. And then my favorite thing to do is you go down, get the balls in your mouth, and after the balls, you basically take your hand, girls, and don't be afraid to do this with the fucking balls. This will not hurt his fucking balls. You push the balls up towards his dick and you shove your fucking you shove your fucking head under and you lick and suck his taint area. And then you come back up and you go right back into the blowjob, OK?
Men will love this, I promise you, you just have to be confident, and if you go about it, don't shove your head in there, go nosediving and like, bitch, I'm going to suck the living shit out of this. Like, you would not want a guy to do that to your clit is in. But I promise you, if you push his balls up lightly and you go under there, a guy is going to lose his shit.
Also, here's a little fucking pro tip Aroney.
This is what I did the other day. If he's laying down while you're sucking his dick and you're like on your knees on the bed sucking his dick, this is where I was. OK, everyone, picture me, Alex there on the deck. He's laying down and I'm on my knees in like a doggy style position over his deck. What I like to do sometimes is with his leg, that's just like his legs are obviously on the bed. So what you can do is you can position yourself to hover over his leg, put one leg over one side of the leg and the other on the other, and then you can ease yourself down and use his leg and start rubbing your clit up against his leg and his thigh.
That one for a man, he's going to be like, what the fuck? This bitch is disgusting and nasty. This will obviously make you have to come clean about the dick at an angle, which I kind of like better. If you can go out of dick at an angle, I kind of think it's way fucking better than going just straight on because you have a better opportunity angle wise to rub his taint, better opportunity to look at his balls, to start rubbing your clit on his thigh.
And then if you are fucking wet and you and your mouth cannot get fucking wet on his dick. Becky, listen to me. You take one of your hands, it's not on his fucking dick. You reach down and you start fingering the fuck out of yourself and you get yourself wet and then you pull your wetness and you put it onto his fucking dick. OK, that is what we want to just work on a little bit here. Boom.
I'm calling all fuckin cocky addicts.
You disgustedly guys, you already know, stitch, fix, everyone look down at your pants. Do you see cockies? Stop it. You do. OK, disgusting women and men all around the world listen up.
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Hello everyone. I was thinking about it because listen, I'm not going to lie. Podcasting during Korona fucking sucks. Massive, ginormous asshole. I'm not going to lie. I've talked to other podcasters and they're like, what are we supposed to talk about? We're literally just sitting in our fucking homes with our thumbs up, our asshole. And it's not cute and it's not pretty for content. Hence why I'm doing these Vagina Monologues. I apologize. I promise.
Call her daddy is not going to constantly be me like his dick was so deep inside me. Like I get it. Maybe you guys don't care as much about my dating life, but for right now it's all I've got. It's literally all I've got. What the fuck should we talk about in Korona?
Well, as much as I'm like, guys, I don't have anything to talk about. Poor me. Oh, welcome to call her daddy mother fuckers. Of course, I have a topic for your assholes right now. Everybody think about your life. We are all desperate. You're like, speak for yourself, Alex. We are all desperate. We are all starving right now, OK? And I have something that I want to share with the daddy gang that I recently did to spice up the dating life.
So get out your little notebooks, OK? Blue's Clues, bring them out and write in your fucking honestly, I'm blacking out right now. I'm staring at a white wall. I don't know what I'm saying. I have a tip for you guys and I want you to do because I think it's pretty fucking genius. Mr. Sykes's, you man did this to me this past week. He texted me at like three o'clock my time, and he was like, we're getting drinks at eight, be ready.
I'm like, I'm like, hey, are you in L.A.? I'm like, hey, sorry, did I miss the part where you got on a fucking plane and like, you're here, like, what do you mean you're across the fucking country? And I, I'm such a fucking idiot. I was like, did one OK, open, I'm missing something. And he's like, yeah, we're going to have drinks over face time. It's a face time date.
Get ready. I'm going to be drinking tequila. He sends me and I'm like, oh fuck. OK, he's like, I'm sending you a bottle, get ready. The post fucking guy delivers a nice bottle of tequila and I get fucking ready for my day. I put on a cute little top, very slutty tits out for the fucking MCG's of the world, ready to fuck and flash nipple any moment. Ariela is popping right through. I didn't even wear a bra.
I was ready at any moment for this face time date to go south and by s I mean so sexual. And I was ready to pull my top down and show Mr. Sexy Zumaya my goddamn nipples. Oh, I just got an a spray tan. I was ready to go. OK, are you guys still with me. So the point of me bringing this up is eight o'clock on the dot he faced Hymes me. He literally has his phone like set up in his kitchen.
He's sitting on one of his bar stools and he is pouring himself a goddamn glass of tequila. And he's like, Cheers, babe. And I pour mine and we have a fucking FaceTime date now. Wow. Alex, this is so profound. I have a FaceTime date during quarantine. I had no idea. I had no idea. Alex, thanks so much, you stupid bitch. Your canceled. Guys, you really think come on, give me a little bit more credit.
Here's the thing. We are getting fucked up on these dates, OK? We are call her daddy. We are classy. We are getting fucking hammered. You guys listen to me. I have done a lot of face time during quarantine. I have gone through a lot of men and FaceTime dates during quarantine. Not many are around. OK, snooze fest.
OK, but by adding the element of the two of you. OK, this is not a fucking group hang. You're not like having your girlfriend in the fucking corner like this is. I am saying this is you and your person getting drunk together on FaceTime.
OK, what I brought since it was cute of him to initiate which men and women listening, I think just setting a time and a date for this kind of thing is cute. And I know it sounds basic as fuck, but it does make the other person feel good. Like it was nice to know that he was thinking ahead about his night and wanted to virtually spend it with me and it was like fucking cool. And I got to like, get ready and know the time, whatever.
But naturally what I do is I have this complex where I like to date and I like to ensure that the guy that I am dating or the men that I am dating. That they are like that fucking girl is the funnest girl that I've ever dated. That is just something I need in my life. OK, so what I had us do is I got on to face time and I was like, babe, we have I have so many things planned for us tonight.
Like, I'm so excited for date night. I basically planned a game for us. And that is what I want everyone to fucking do, because I swear to God, it will turn sexual. OK, you plan a game. My game, it was like a list of 20 questions for us to play and it started basic. You start like and obviously first like start the night you're drinking. You're like, what are you drinking? Oh my God, let's chug.
Break the ice and you can joke like this is so awkward. Oh, my God.
OK, let's get hammered. Then I had us playing a game of twenty questions and it starts basic, nothing sexual. And then I had a slowly guessing like each other's favorite position, asking about kinks like in between like what's your fantasy, etc..
And I made it so there was a rule that we had to drink if not answered correctly. So you can do whatever the fuck you want, come up with whatever game you want or like, obviously cater it towards your relationship. But slowly all of a sudden by you bringing in this kind of game with alcohol, with the person you're attracted to, who fucking knows, maybe your face time gets so disgusting. Maybe you get so fucked up on that tequila.
And I don't know, maybe I'm speaking from personal experience. I don't know. But maybe you get so fucked up on the FaceTime date that normally a natural progression in real life you would go and fuck. Well, you can kind of still do that on FaceTime. All of a sudden the bitch didn't wear a fucking bra, takes her top off and you start having fucking face time sex. You're fucking welcome, Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. Ended up seeing my fucking pussy that night because he initiated a date and I was ready to give it up.
Hello. I'm fine. Here's also because I'm not the only one with fucking ideas. I was reading this daddy gang member wrote in. He's this guy and he wrote in an idea and I'm going to obviously cater it towards quarantine because it's not. But this is what he said. I've got a daddy gang dating back for y'all that's worked every time for me.
When you start talking to a girl or match with a girl on an app and you're just starting out texting, you'll inevitably start bringing up stories because you don't know each other and you haven't heard each other's stories yet. I always joke around and say that stories of the list I'll tell you about when we go out after a few days, I'll actually start a list on notes and make it sharable with her. That way you have something easy to joke and talk about and keep saying, oh, add it to the list, but make sure it's something hilarious and gets them thinking like this guy's a fucking savage.
Now I have to know the story and I want to go out with him now. Then when you really go out for the first time, you literally have an entire fucking list of funny shit to talk about. Stay savage daddy gang.
So I love this idea. And at first I was like, is this fucking corny? And I was like, no, no, no. Because first and foremost, obviously we're going to cater it towards quarantine.
So like, we're not going you're all like, oh, when are we going on a first fucking date? No, not the first date. But what you can do is be like we're going to save it for our FaceTime date later. Right. I think the one advice I can give just in dating and also just like on FaceTime and stuff is like when I go into first dates, it applies the same as fucking face time game. I always have like a rack of questions and topics in my mind before I go on dates.
And I think that that can help you so fucking much if you have a couple stories that you're ready to tell. The goal is to never let there be an awkward moment of silence, or at least that's my fucking goal. Like, I love a guy to feel so fucking comfortable with me. And if you have, I know it sounds corny, but if you have, like, preplanned conversations in your head and then there's an awkward moment, you can be like, wait, you I want to hear what you think about this, but I have a story to tell you and I need you to like that kind of shit is literally all of a sudden they're going to hang up on face.
I'm like, why did I have the best conversations with that person? That's the way that I think. Like, I get guys as I go in there and I'm like, I want him to be like we I feel like I've known this girl for fucking ever. Like, that was just so fun, so comfortable. Everyone can do that. Just fucking come up with the list. So this guy's idea I think is genius because it's like, OK, what should we fucking talk about?
I want to hear your story. You fucking wrote in here that you like and you fucking took down a beluga whale of a whale. You wrote a whale, OK, he wrote a whale, something fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck, but if it's in your notes and you both are like, OK, you have to fucking tell me just come up with fun fucking shit. Everyone's boring right now. If you're fun you win. OK.
Hey now hey now. Bum bum rakan.
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Sadoun. Rufus, listen, it's been so fucking long. I know Serena missed it. I know Alexandra fucking Cooper missed it because chalk got up.
I can't even.
Guys, guys, listen to me. There's something so important happening.
Everybody turn your volume all the way the fuck up because we're going to take a little trip to France.
If we go further, we go because we got to go with the girl who is you.
Oh, I like also bye bye. Oh, I just choked a little questions of the motherfucking Hwi high by no questions.
Alvo on Kunsong you guys, did you fuckin miss it? I literally just died. I was going so fucking hard questions of the motherfucking week. Bitches were fucking back. Silent sufferers suck my fucking clit. Don't care, don't care today or going in. I'm actually kind of pumped because I'm not going to lie. I kind of feel like I've seen mad people. Yeah. Me being like yo we missed questions of the week and sometimes when people bitch about shit, you got to take it away.
You got to fucking take it away. So all of a sudden they appreciate it. Now, I do know there are some people that like, no, Alex, we're happy, we're happy, and we were fine with it, never coming back. But guess what? I don't give a fuck. Questions of the week will always remain. OK, let's get fucking into it. Daddy, I miss you. Let's read your fucking questions. This is from a daddy gang member.
She said during quarantine I met a guy on hange. We hit it off and FaceTime every day, multiple times a day. And before I knew it, sexual tension became so strong since we weren't seeing each other yet that we decided to play around with phone sex. See? Brilliant. You're welcome. Things are going swell until asexually. Say, I can't wait to be inside of you know, I wasn't planning on pegging him and no, I do not have a dick.
I totally ruined the moment because we both burst out laughing. Thankfully, we laughed it off. It was definitely a mood killer. How do I avoid saying stupid shit when I'm feeling myself and about to come? This is such a good fucking topic that I want to quickly address because I was doing this the other day, not telling him that I wanted to be inside of him, but to avoid things like this happening. Obviously you're not slip ups, but one of my tips would be I the other day did this.
I was masturbating, thinking about Mr. Sexism Guy. And I think that dirty talking out loud to yourself when you are masturbating is really fucking hot that way. You are basically like practicing verbally saying shit that you would say to him and you're normalizing it coming out of your mouth, because how often on a day to day basis we're talking about, we can talk for hours, but all of a sudden when you're like and I want you to creampie my pussy and I want to eat your fucking come out of her pussy, that that one not as common.
And so it doesn't really roll off the tongue, if you know what I mean.
So if when you masturbate, why don't you dirty talk like you're dirty talking to him. And then next time when you fuck him or when you do fuck him or you're having face time sex, all of a sudden you've already said those words so fucking often because you're masturbating 16 times a fucking day and then it will be way easier. Hello, Father. Is it weird that after two years of me and my ex being broken up, we follow each other on social media?
I'm living my best single life and he's in and has been in relationships during this time. I want to unfollow, but I don't know if that shows I still care because I don't.
OK, everyone, I think anyone that is listening right now, if you want to unfollow someone but you are worried about what the optics will look like, fuck the optics. Oh, big word. Oh, big girl. Big word. Oh, guys, who the fuck cares? I think it's so fucking weird when people want to unfollow people, but they're like but maybe like it will hurt their know who fucking cares. It's so strange to me that people get hurt when people unfollow people.
There are so many fucking people from college that no sheild great people love ya. Oh, you're doing fucking great, Betty. But personally for me, her Instagram, I'm like, you're boring. I don't want to follow you anymore. And I don't want to see your fucking weird boyfriend and you guys posting about your fucking cooking tutorials. Don't fucking care. I want to see clips and tits like my personal preference is following hot girls and dog accounts.
Like that's just what I'm into. I think that anyone that is super, super scared to unfollow people, you need to like re-evaluate your entire life. Who fucking cares? It's social media, unfollow them. And if they ask you, like, hey, did I do something wrong? Like you unfollowed me, be like, hey, no, sorry. I was just like clearing out my feed and like, I was just trying to, like, follow less accounts because, like, I feel like my feed is super cluttered, no hard feelings, boom.
And then if you are a person listening to this and you have sat in a fucking room and been like, I just can't believe she unfollowed me like this. So fucked up. No, no, she pressed. Although life goes on, we have bigger fucking things to handle, obviously, if it's like your boyfriend, then this is a different conversation. You're like. He's like my boyfriend. Stop following me on Instagram. I'm going to go ahead and say things to be concerned about for sure.
Also, another question. How do you even know I unveiled you? I swear to God, if you're one of those bitches that has the app and it shows you who's unfollowed you, knock it the fuck off, OK? You delete that from your fucking phone and we move forward with life. Oh, this is a good one. Hi, Daddy. I'm not sure if you will read this, but I thought I'd shoot my shot. When should a girl see her first gyno?
I'm 19 and I've never seen a gynecologist. My family doctor doesn't even check my V, and I've explained many times that I have had horrible, extremely painful skip college classes from IT periods and I experienced discomfort during sex. My mom refuses to acknowledge this and says I don't need to see one. I know you generally talk about topics regarding sex hookups and I love it. But I also know you talk about female health as well. Thank you for everything.
You do love the podcast. OK, Daddy, I love you. You need to go to the fucking gynecologist. If you are having sex, you need to be going to a gynecologist. That's just that. I don't I maybe your mom's in denial because she's like, there's just no way that my nineteen year old daughter is getting fucked. Well, you know what? Maybe if I can sit your mom down and be like, mom, listen, it's either you bring me or I get fucking pregnant.
You or no. But actually, you need to go to the gynecologist. You need to go because that shit's really fucking important to double check that everything's good. Also, how would you know if you have an STD? You know what I mean? And if you are having pain during sex, it's really important to get that checked out. So, yeah, I would just be like, hey, mom, you need to, like, stop living in the olden days.
I'm getting fucked and I'm getting fucked. Go but actually fucking hurts. So I'm either dying or what's up bitch. Oh, we have a little story time from a daddy about an only fans.
OK, Daddy. Father. Hello. I asked my boyfriend if he used only fans because it's popular. He said he didn't. I found girls wishlists on our Amazon and he'd been sending them gifts. He claimed it was his friends sending the stuff. Mm hmm.
That's what they all say. But I just feel like it wasn't. It wasn't. Why would they use it? I can't even read the straight. Why would they use his account for that anyway? And the stuff was archived. He put his name on one of the gift messages and it was sent to like their private wishlists address. But when I asked him about it, he said it was his friend's girlfriend and it was an inside joke they had.
But I found the girl's wish list on only fans. When I found her account, I was on his computer and he had a Gmail open on one screen and in the search bar. His recent history was only fans, so he'd clearly gone and deleted the emails. There was about 80 emails. Oh my God. Forgive me. Brunos in and around the only fans outsole. Some saying he'd received messages too, and he was paying around seventy dollars per month to these accounts.
I confronted him about it and all he said, all he could say was he made the account last year and he wanted to see what all the hype was about. And it was better than porn, although I thought it was his friends.
I'm so confused. This is so cute. I consider it cheating. Some of the girls were in his area, too, one he even used to work with. It's the fact that he's caring and connecting enough about the content to subscribe and pay a substantial amount of money. So now I feel like a fucking idiot for sending him nudes when he's paying other girls for theirs. I told him to delete the account, but I can't stop thinking about it.
And if he's thinking about them when we're having sex, I haven't told anyone about it because I'm too embarrassed. God, hello, sweetheart, I'm very sorry, no one and I'm not trying to be an asshole, but the turns the story takes is just too good where it's like first he says that his it's his friend. But then he said he just got to only fan's account because he just wanted to see what the hype was about. It's like, so what is it, you fucking loser girlfriend?
I think this is shady. My first gut reaction is that one, the fact that he's lying and saying it's about his friends, whenever they fucking say that I listen, I do it all the time with my girlfriends. I'm like, babe, it was Larin like, I didn't do that. You blame it on your other friends.
You put them as a scapegoat. It's kind of fucking pathetic to me, though. I think that the worst part is that he's lying and blaming his friends and then his story changes. That's just weeks shit to me.
Like if he had owned up about it and been more of a man, I think maybe that would you would have room for a conversation to kind of talk about like, hey, like is it fair that you have an only fans who want a relationship? But I personally almost would fucking leave his ass just for the amount of lies like he is going to such extreme extent to lie to you and be like, no, baby, it's it's my friends.
And then all of a sudden he's like, no, but baby, I started it. But I just wanted to see what the hype was about. And it's like, oh, which one fucking is it OK, which one is it? Oh, it's neither.
If someone is lying about this kind of shit to you in a relationship, what the fuck else is this loser fucking Pee wee Herman lying about Highfather. You always talk about being OK with being single, but how exactly do you do that? I'm getting over a breakup of two point five year relationship and it's been an adjustment to accept my loneliness. Thank you for all your education to the daddy again. Thank you, Daddy. Listen, loneliness is a mindset.
If you are lonely when you're single, then you're not ready to be in a relationship. And I kind of thought that was we did kind of touch on it actually in the Miley Cyrus episode, like. If you are lonely and therefore you're just craving a relationship to make yourself not lonely, then that relationship is going to be a fat fuckin piece of shit. Not that I'm saying I'm fucking dating this man, but to give you guys an example, like right before I met Mr.
Sexy Zuman, I and I think I kind of like was mentioning it throughout my episodes when I look back, like I was saying, do you guys like I am so fucking happy in my single life right now? Trust me, I've gone through relationships and breakups where I'm like so fucking miserable. And I miss the comfort of having a boyfriend and I miss them like being there with me and having a texting buddy and someone that, like, I know genuinely cares about me.
But if I run back into a relationship right after a breakup and I was fucking lonely, that's just a recipe for disaster. The best fucking time to get into a relationship is like me right now.
You're all like, don't you fucking dare say it. Don't worry, I'm not. But I'm just saying, like, I'm so happy being single. And I wasn't looking for a Mr. Sexy Zoom guy. And then when he came into my life, I genuinely believe me, radiating like how good I am on my own. That affects the way the other person looks at you, like he's like, oh, this bitch has her own shit. She's so fucking confident.
And she also is like going to be fine if this doesn't work out. I think that's really attractive. And I do think that's attractive. When I'm dating a guy, like if I see him and he's got his own shit and he's like super confident himself and he's not needy, to me, that's where you have, like, the base of the beginning of a really good, strong relationship. So I would hold on to that. If you're saying you're lonely as fuck after your breakup, well, you got to work on your fucking self because honestly, it's so fucking fun when you're not when you're by yourself.
There should it should not be lonely. It should be I am the best fucking time in the game. And honestly, if you are going to hang out with me and you're going to add to my time, you got to be bringing some really big fucking great conversations and great fucking time, because me by myself, best time in the world. So what do you add to the fucking table? Because my life feels fucking great without you.
So if you're going to come in here, what do you bring? OK, Alex, I have been dating my boyfriend for around eight months now. Congrats. And last night he told me he didn't want to kiss or do anything sexual for two weeks.
What the fuck? He said that it wasn't personal and it was a challenge that he had set like that he had set himself. But I can't help but get a little annoyed because I feel like he's trying to test me and playing games with me. Alex, what should I do? Should I try and make him crack, let him have a little challenge or should I let my petty side come out and try to withhold sex from him for three weeks?
Please help. Lots of love from Australia.
OK, I'm sorry. I don't know if anyone else listening to this, your mind goes there, but to me, I'm like, does he have an STD? I'm not fucking with you. I'm like, why is he trying to hold out for two weeks to be low key, have chlamydia and he's taking the pill and he wants to make sure he doesn't give you a fucking acid. That's where my mind goes. Classic. Obviously, it's a little unhealthy.
I would look into that. I don't know. I don't really know. That seems a little stranger danger for me. I'm not loving that. He's like, babe, two weeks. It's going to be the ultimate challenge. Why? I'm sorry. What man is like. Let's go, baby. Unless he was like a sex addict. That's a conversation. But it seems like you're eight months into this relationship, smooth sailing. And then all of a sudden he's like, babe, two weeks off off the grid.
We can't fuck.
It's like, so why I would maybe press him a little bit more about this challenge and like where it stemmed from and how it was created and like why he's doing that and also what pussy he was inside of last week, you know what I'm saying? OK, great. Let me know. Please follow up. I'm very interested. This question has been haunting me for months. Oh, my God. Oh yeah. Hello. You've said that the best place to give the good luck is when the guy is up against a wall.
Facts. How do you get him there without it being awkward and inorganic? This is a great fucking question.
As simple as it is, I get what you're saying like it is kind of like, wait, what usually what I do is I'm usually going into this with the mindset that, like, we're not even going to fuck, like I'm going to give this guy a blowjob to fruition if I'm going to do the wall thing. So what I usually do is I will get on top of him. Whether you're on the couch or whether you're on the bed, you get on top of him and you start making out with him.
Then I'll start rubbing on his dick over his pants and just start to set the mood. And he's like, oh, fuck, what the fuck is going on? So you're kind of in control. You're on top. You're the one initiating. You're grabbing his dick, and then you grab his face in the middle of making out with him and you pull away and you look at him in the eyes and you say, come here, get up, and then literally just get up off the bed or get up off the couch and grab him.
If you were just rubbing his dick, he's not. Like, what are where are we going, I don't feel comfortable, no, he's going like, OK, just get up and pull him and like, literally take his hand and then bring him to the wall and push him up against the wall.
My one bit of advice would be maybe scout out the walls around you first, because I've done it to a guy where I fucked up and it was like in the heat of the moment. And I pressed him up against a wall that the doorway and the wall were super small. And so his back was like in the fucking door wall and he was like in pain.
And I was like, that was a fucking waste of a blowjob because your bitch ass is just focused on how your back hurts after. Hey, Alex, not a super sexual question, but in regards to the Miley podcast, how she was talking about being comfortable with yourself and how you don't always have to be sexual to be comfortable with yourself and so on. Well, my roommates are those types of girls who are extremely judge and uptight, but will act like your friend, but then talk shit behind your back.
I try to be their friend and I'm the nicest person I could be. But how do I get myself to feel comfortable with myself? I'm constantly feeling like I'm being judged and belittled. I know it's as easy as just don't think about it or don't care, but I feel like that's not as easy to do. I'm so happy you wrote this in and I don't know if you guys would be interested in me doing an episode about like girls and like how to deal with fucking mean girls because like, I actually think I made a ticktock the other day and I was like, it's so fascinating to me that there are so many and it's such a prevalent thing.
There are so many girls in the world that shit on their friends when they're talking about masturbating or sex or whatever, and they make you feel uncomfortable. And to those girls, I say those are the girls that are so insecure and those are the girls that literally bite dicks when they give ahead. And they would rather not talk about their sexuality and not be open about it because they are like closeted right now and they don't even know what their fucking pussy looks like.
Like if you were like girls, let's look at our pussy like in the mirror, like, let's look. They would be like, you are so disturbing. What the fuck is wrong with you? And it's like, we bitch, that's your pussy, that's your best friend. Like, let's look at it and all masturbate in a goddamn line together. Any girl that is feeling like you have friends that are super jorgy. I know it sucks and it takes time and it isn't easy, but straight up you just need to find better friends.
You want to surround yourself with people that support how you're feeling sexually. And you don't want to suppress that just because you're afraid of what your friends will think. It becomes also just so draining, trying to downplay what you enjoy for others. And you shouldn't have to do that. I had a lot of friends in college that would judge girls in a locker room for openly talking about their sexuality, masterbating sex, etc. And those are just the kind of bitches that you just don't want to fuck with, because if their judges and they're judging you on that kind of shit.
They clearly have some deep seated issues going on, and that's not your problem to solve, obviously, I would say you could like, oh, break the ice and be like encouraging them to listen to her daddy. But let's all be fucking real. We know there are girls that are like, call her daddy is just like literally for whores. And I'm so much better that, like, guys don't even like that stuff. And it's like, no, you know what, they also don't like Francene, you fucking grinding your braces on his dick and leaving fucking skid marks on his bedsheets because you don't know how to take a finger up your asshole.
All right. OK, Daddy game. Hello. It is your father. This is sad. It's a sad, happy moment. Happy because, like, we had fun today. Sad because I'm not going to talk to you guys for two weeks. But I also promise you that I will be out in the field with a mask on and I will just be putting my fucking pussy on the line for you guys. OK, give you guys the content you deserve, obviously, for the rest of summer.
Guys, enjoy yourselves. I know. I don't know. The world is fucking depressing right now. Like, sometimes I feel like I put these episodes out. I'm like, is anyone listening? Like, are people, like, just fucking miserable? I love you guys. I hope obviously everyone was OK. I feel like quarantine is still going, but it's also like you're we're all supposed to be mentally fine right now. And I kind of feel like there's a lot of people probably struggling because I know I've struggled.
So just know that I'm here for you. Just not for the next two weeks. I'm going to take off for my birthday. My birthday is this Friday, actually August 21st. Go follow me on Instagram. It's Alexandra Cooper. Go follow call her daddy on Instagram. And also because I love you guys so much and it doesn't feel right to not release two episodes in a row. Here's the deal. Next week, in place of an episode, I'm going to be releasing the apartment to our vlog that I promised you guys that will be coming out.
I'll probably drop that on Wednesday just so you guys have something to watch. And then the next week, I also will have another vlog coming out when there's no episode. So I hope that kind of balances it out. I can't say I'll see you fuckers next Wednesday. You can see my apartment next Wednesday on YouTube. I will see you guys in two weeks, have yourself a beer, have yourself a tequila, have yourself some type of alcohol, get fucked up on face time and go fuck your fucking brains out.
And literally, I want you guys to crack your fucking camera screen. There was so much squirting and fucking come on there. OK, I love you guys so much. I miss you already. Dearly beloved Daddy gang, your father is our sister.