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Are you out there? If you're out there, shake your wiener holes. It is Alex Cooper back at it again for another raunchy sexual, moist, wet, soaking, soaking wet episode of Call Her Daddy. Hi. Hello. How are you guys?
Are you guys feeling good today? I'm feeling like a fucking. I don't. I'm just feeling great. I'm feeling really excited. I hope everyone out there, all the horyn is in the world. Who do you guys remember?
I think we did an episode where I wanted to like, say all of the really slutty names that girls could have.
And I'm like, I'm pretty sure, like, fuckin Tiffany. Tiffany, I fucking know what you're doing. I know what you're up to. Tiffany was getting fucking finger banged in the fucking closet during seven minutes in heaven and she was fucking squirting on kids in seventh grade. Tiffany's can't be stopped. Guys, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I feel like this week, if you are feeling any type of way, we're gonna embrace it this week.
If you're feeling so horny, we're feeling it. If you're feeling sad, I'll be sad with you for. That little break, now we're fucking happy. Everybody get in a good fucking mood when you listen to caller daddy every week, word a good fucking mood. So what are we going to do this week? This week, it's going to be like a little a little update, a little self care, a little self worth, a little self indulgent moment for all of us.
I don't want to subject you to feeling like you are. I don't know. Reading my diary. Hi, guys. This week's episode is called Alex's Diary. You're all like, go fuck yourself. I'm leaving. No, no, no.
Just bear with me here, because here's the thing. I have not had sex in a very, very, very long time.
Alex, what do you mean? Like how long? Very, very long time. I have essentially gone almost all of quarantine. With no sex. Shocking. No martyr. Yes. Here's the thing. I take quarantine very seriously. I have been social distancing. I have been with my mom and pop, mom and Pop and me in the house. Guess what? I'm in my parents fucking basement this week. Hahaha. In the beginning of quarantine, I was so excited for quarantine.
I was excited to have this break of dating right when I was going into quarantine. I had a good group of men, a good group of men that I was for some reason I like to travel to see the men that I date. It's like, Hey, Alex, here's a concept. Date someone in New York City. No, no, no, no.
That's too easy and way too healthy for my mental health. I need to make my dating life so difficult, so hard on myself that it is painful. I have to get on a plane to get dick. I mean, everybody loves a good warrior. So I went into quarantine and I was ready for this male cleanse. I was like, this is fucking great. This is fucking exciting. I can kind of just, like, chill for a minute.
I don't have to answer them today because if I text them in two days, we'll be in the same seat, in the same position, they'll be doing the same thing and they will not have forgotten about me. And and if they did. Hello, mother fucker. I'm sliding the fuck back in.
So that was the beginning.
Ten happy, loving life. Men aren't bothering me. I get to choose the communication via text message. Now, I swear to God, if there was that whole thing of like, oh my God, I haven't had sex in so many months. Like, my vagina is so tight now. Like all my ankles were so tight down there. Keep then I'm closed. OK, we're close now like we're soad the fuck up. That's how fucking tight this pussy is because I literally haven't gotten laid in so long now.
Things are about to change. I'm going to get broken the fuck back in. That's disgusting. What I mean is I'm going to see a guy. The kicker to the whole story is I was coming on to the podcast and I'm like, OK, I am going to tell the daddy gang kind of about who I'm going to go see. And it started with one man that I've been planning to see literally all of quarantine. We've basically had this trip set and I swear to God, I can't make this shit up.
The man that I'm going to see as I am recording this podcast right now, I and I'm recording this right now, it's Tuesday. So when I released this, I still do not know if I'm getting on a plane to see him or a different man tomorrow, OK?
I know that's believable. That sounds really normal, Alex. I'm not. And that's this is this is a genuine situation that's happening. I'm sitting in my parents basement right now. The guy this is what's basically what's going on. The guy that I was supposed to or I think I am going and seeing, we have the flight and everything, but he and I have been getting in like these annoying ass fights and he's been pissing me the fuck off.
OK, so that's man number one. Man number two that I don't have a full flight for yet. However, he has basically sent me all this flight information and he's waiting in the wings. He's this new guy, this new charm or this new exciting man that I'm actually excited about. Not an athlete. Shocker. Amazing. Yes. Clap, clap for Alex. So he's this other guy that I could potentially be going to see if this first one falls through.
I sat with my mother. I'm not kidding you guys for about an hour. Last night we got some wine and I was like, Mom, I don't have therapy till next week. Please put on your therapies hat and walk me through what the fuck I should do.
I literally do not know what to do because one of them, the main one that I'm supposed to go see. I know I will have guaranteed sex with the other guy because he's new. I don't think I would fuck him on the first trip to see him. Yes, it would be fun. Fourth of July. Yay! Woo! But as you've heard from my prior explanations, the vagina needs to get service. Could I deal with the finger from this new one?
Yes. Would I prefer a dick? Yes. So you guys can see. No, in all seriousness, I'm kind of having a fucking panic attack because I'm trying to get this episode out. And I would love to be sitting here like and this is what I'm doing. I've no idea. When I press upload on this, I'm going to be on a plane, but I'm going to be going to either one state or fucking another state. So damaging.
That's my life. Really good. Really, really good. I. All I know is it's the same weather for both situations. So I'm just gonna pack. I was going to pack my bag and you know, maybe I'll just feel it help. Maybe I was fill it out once I get to the airport. I don't know. I think it's a big fuckin fat joke. But what I do know is all of you are like, so this is not relatable.
Yes, it is. It's very relatable. Listen to me, everyone listening to this podcast. Put yourself in this situation. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. You've been there. You're getting ready with your girlfriends are getting with you. Your male friends. And you're like, oh, my God, Johnny, two shoes is going to be at this one bar. And Christopher is going to be at the other. Which one are you fucking choosing?
And you sit there and you weigh your options. And I feel like it always fucking happens that whichever one you pick, unless it's like a grand fucking slam. You always wonder what it would have been like with the other. Maybe I won't go see fuckin either of them. Maybe I'll buy my own fucking ticket and I'll go see someone else. I don't know. Door number one. Door number two. The funny thing is, is if any of you have followed me on my Snapchat, this has literally happened to me before.
The man that I was going to see, I didn't know if I was getting on the plane next day. That man is literally this man again. So, guys.
Hello. Welcome to Colorado City this week. OK. I'm going to take a deep breath. I'm going to take a sip of water. Thirst was quenched. Thank you for pausing with me. I have something I quickly want to just pop in and address. This has to do. It's really going to blow your mind. Everybody, I'm so sorry. You're going to be shocked that I'm even talking about this because, you know, I hate it.
I want to quickly talk about blow jobs and I want to quickly talk about them. It's like, well out. No, Alex, like, how could you even fucking say one more thing? What more what more can we say? Well, I recently had a girl write in to me and then I saw a few other girls writing in to me, and it had to do with something that I hadn't fully addressed for my hos that are a little bit constricted in the way that they're sucking dick.
So let me read this girl's question for you. Hi, Alex. I love you. I love you, too. I am bisexual, and it's my first time really talking to a guy and I know he wants me to suck his dick, but I have one of the worst gag reflexes, like I horoho up when I brush my tongue, when I'm brushing my teeth.
What do I do? OK. This is my advice for every woman that has a really bad gag reflex. First and foremost, the tip of a guy's dick is so uber uber sensitive.
So what I would suggest you do if you can not go down on his dick. This is a situation where you will put your entire hand around his dick. So like all four fingers wrapped around and then they meet your thumb on the other side and you're putting your whole hand on his dick. OK. So that's your right hand on his dick. Your left hand. You're going to take like two of your fingers. So your pointer and your middle finger.
And you're going to put them around and you're going to put them with your thumb and you're going to put them on top of your right hand. OK, your hand with the less amount of fingers you're going to keep literally on your lips. So you're going to take the hand that has all the fingers. You're, like, gripping its entire deck and you're going to give him a nice handjob. The other hand, connected to your lips. You are going to basically be giving him a blowjob on the tip of his dick.
Now, this may seem to you like, wait. That doesn't sound like a bloat. No, it as it is. And I trust me, sometimes I do this almost with guys and I won't even go down that far on their dick. It's amazing. So you're in your own fucking luck, sweetheart. Listen to me like this is fucking great. So what you're gonna do is you're gonna keep your mouth on the tip of his dick and you're like sucking and licking and literally take your tongue and swirl it and like, put it in his.
Put it in his wiener hole. I'm telling you, it feels so good for a guy. And then lick around like the tip of his dick and do like suction motions. And then while you're you're twisting your fingers with your mouth connected to it and then your other hand is gonna be down farther down towards the base and you're gonna be jacking him off. So he's gonna be getting a handjob with a nice little swirly twirly gumdrops suction cup deliciousness on the tip of his deck.
Boom. And if he's like, bitch, go farther down, just you can just make it into, like, this little fun thing and be like, I don't think so. And then just keep fucking sucking the tip of his dick. You can also distract by going down and licking on the balls and like popping a ball in your mouth and then going back. And also girlfriend. Let me just fucking tell you, you can take your tongue.
Hold his dick with your hand and start from the base of his dick and take your tongue and lick all the way up to the top of his dick and then start sucking on the tip of his dick. Those are like the little external things you can do. Doesn't even require you to put your head down on his desk and go Deep Throat, that it doesn't even require you to go halfway down on the deck, literally.
So, I mean, I think that's like almost one of the hardest things to do during a blow job is like tease around the top over your girlfriend, hide the gag reflex by that. Guys, you get the drill function of beauty in the past. People used to make fun of me because my hair was so fucking disgusting. Broom like broom. Jason. Okay, not anymore. Guys function. A beauty is a haircare that is formulated specifically for you.
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Again, that is a function of beauty. Dot com slash daddy for 20 percent off. OK. So he literally doesn't like you.
He actually hates you. Whoa. Alex or rewind.
I'm going to talk to women, OK? Everyone listening to this podcast, I just want you to kind of get comfy, comfy, cozy, slouch in your car seat or your couch or wax the fuckin countertop a little bit harder right now. I'm going to address something with women. I read a lot of my demos because essentially as much as my life is my content, your lives are my content. And I think maybe it's because of quarantine. But I feel like the daddy gang is getting a little soft and sometimes you need just like that Check-In moment with yourselves.
You need that Check-In moment. And I'm trying to kind of be like your conscience right now. Pretend you're listening to your earbuds. It's God speaking. It is your father speaking. You're in trouble. I have had an influx and in flux of women. Writing in. Asking me what to do. Because this man that she's not dating, that she either just hooked up with or she's been kind of seeing, he's not really giving her the attention.
He's not really responding. He's not really sliding in as much as she slides and he's not really calling her. He's not actually full blown ignoring her. And the amount of women right now in my demos that are like, hey, Alex, I was just wondering, like, what should I do? Like, I was thinking of maybe like sending him a little cute D.M.. And then if not, if he doesn't answer, like maybe I could Snapchat him.
OK. OK. Let's go let's go through that for a minute. Actually, yeah. OK. Yeah, I'll actually walk down that path with you for a minute. So he's not answering you or he's barely giving you any effort. That's the situation. The scenario is the guy is giving you mixed signals, not giving you much ever. Not answering you full-blown ignore you probably blocked you at this point or you're just in the talking stage with the guy and you just can't really gauge if he likes you.
How about that. You just can't gauge it. OK, I'll go through that with you. Here you go. So you send in the Snapchat. Then you continue to get the same amount of communication, you send in the D.M.. He doesn't answer Orie answers would like a double top of the heart or just like a laughing face. Okay. And then it continues. Mm hmm. Yep. Here we are. He's still not really giving you that much, but you're like Buddy Hardy here.
Alex C. Hardy is my message. This is great. Right. Right, right. Yeah.
Has has you ever sent you a D.M.. Has you ever sent you a funny meme? Think about that, Candace. You're always looking at your Diem's. You're always sending him little funny means that remind you of Jeremy. Does Jeremy ever send you a D.M.? Does he ever first reach out? Does he ever first initiate? Oh, no. OK. OK. I was just. No, I was just wondering what this is. We're just having a conversation here, candid.
Listen, women, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I do think it's helpful. I think that we I have to have. Listen, I have these check moments with myself all the fucking time, and I'm happy to be the asshole to help you have your check in moments. We're having a little Check-In moment. Okay, ladies, here's the thing. I do think women just need a big fat fucking punch to the fucking head. And I want your head to be stuck in the dry wall right now while I do this entire rant.
And then you can pull yourself out afterwards, but only if you understood the clear message. Got it. Okay, good.
Listen to me. If you are currently listening to this podcast and you are still wondering if this man likes you, if you should continue to make an effort, then you have your answer. If you're wondering and if you are confuse those two feelings right there, those two thought processes, that equals he doesn't like you. Alex, stop it. Stop it right now. That's so fucking me. Don't care. Don't fucking care. Don't care at all.
Because guess what? Men do not play games like women do. Like they play games when they're trying to fuck you. Yes. And they'll be all sweet and nice to you. But the game of like, trying to not answer you a lot. That's not a game for men. That literally just means he doesn't like you. A man doesn't sit on his couch and purposefully not answer a text for a certain amount of time to make a woman feel insecure and then hit you up like a few hours later to say bulbar.
No, no, no. That's female shit. Every single woman listening to this podcast, you've done it. You waited a little bit of time. You're like, no, fuck him. He didn't answer me for so fucking long. And now I'm going to slide and I'm going to answer him back in two hours because he took four hours. But I can't wait for hours, so I'll wait two fucking hours. Men don't do that. If a man wants to text, you will text you if a man is not answering you for four hours.
It's usually because, A, he's just busy. B, he forgot to answer. You see, his penis is literally inside another bitch, or D, he's like, I'll answer her later. I don't really feel like having a conversation with her. OK. If a man really, really fucking likes you in the middle of like 19 business meetings, games, classes, whatever it is he's texting you. He's got 2.5. Zack, he can go pee.
He'll text you while he's peeing. And I know this hurts. And I just I just wanted to bring it up on caller daddy because I do feel like sometimes we catch ourselves slipping and we're like, how do I get Ben to answer me? If you're ever asking yourself how how do I get Ben to answer me? No. Why are you trying to get someone to answer you bitch? No. That is. And it's like, oh, my God.
And it listen. It took me fucking time to get this in my head to listen. I'm not fucking perfect at all. I told my mom the other night, I think one of the most profound things she ever told me when I was growing up. And it hurt a little bit. It definitely hurt a little bit. In middle school, Alex was like, I don't like that one, mom. I don't like that one bit. But it's the fucking truth.
Daddy. Gang. Why would you want to be friends with someone that doesn't want to be friends with you? Think about that. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?
Like that's what it is. Literally, that's what it is. Ask yourself that question. If you are talking to someone and men, there's going to play to you, too. If you are talking to someone right now that isn't matching your level of want and desire and interest in a relationship, in a texting relationship, in a fucking relationship, in whatever relationship you got in a friendship. It goes all different directions. If that person doesn't want to be friends with you, doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
Why would you want to be friends or in a relationship with. And I think this is so powerful because I do think a lot of times, like even in college, I remember I had a guy and if I had asked myself that question, I would have been like, yeah, he's not giving me any of the vibes.
So what are you doing? Like, literally, what are you doing? Like, why are you crying? Well, should I message him again? What's the message? What are you gonna message him? Hi. I am really upset that you're not messaging me and it just really pisses me off that you don't care as much as I care. Oh, there's into how embarrassing that is. I just like I don't get why you're not answering. Like, I just don't get it.
Like, why don't you want to talk to me? Like, you're not giving me the same effort. Like what do you.
What are you doing. Think about it right now. Every single woman listening to this podcast when you're trying to figure out how you're gonna double slide in or how you're going to message him or how you're gonna get its attention, why literally why? I feel as though a lot of times women cling on to little hopes, little things. There are so many people who are listening to this part because I've fucking done it. There's so many people that are like so yallock.
He hasn't answered me in like he keeps leaving me on rad. But like, I will never forget this one time we were like hanging out on his couch and like, he just he put his arm around me and he looked at me and he was like, I like you so much. And then you're sitting in your room trying to convince your friends because your friends are like, bitch, you're so stupid. Like, literally move the fuck on.
And you're like, no, guys, you don't get it. Like, when we're together, it's just different. No, it's not. Because guess what, when you were together, your pussy was in front of his face and he will say anything he fucking wants so he can get inside of your pussy. But the minute you fucking leave and you're wondering, like, okay, but now why is any fucking answer? Because your pussy is not there anymore and he doesn't care anymore.
He's gonna say whatever it is in the heat of the fucking moment. Yes. I like you. You're so beautiful. You're bugging device, baby. I like you. I could see this. Oh, my God. You're so I love when you do that and literally listen to a man when he's in front of you and whenever he's speaking anything complimentary towards you, almost an alarm should go off. Why is he saying those things?
They say you're very unhealthy. Women are gonna be like, well, what if he really does fucking like you? I don't care. At least have your guard up until he proves a few fucking times that show worthy of you actually hearing the words come out of his mouth. Because I'm sorry, but for the most part, especially the demographic and age of people listening to my podcast, for the most part, when a man is going to say some generic fucking shit, it's to get inside of you.
So women, I think that you clinging on to little things of him. But he twirled my hair and he said I was different. Now, you're not different. What he means is I feel like your pussy lips may be a little fucking bigger and fatter than my last bit. And I feel like that will feel good on my dick. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. I know some people are like getting really disheartened and they're like, Hey, Alex, you're making me feel like shit.
This shouldn't make you feel like shit that we're in our little own bubble on this podcast right now. And sometimes you need to fuckin slap in the face, not by a dick, but by me to be like. Ring, ring, bitch. If he doesn't treat you like he's obsessed, then why the fuck are you giving him any fucking more energy than exactly what he's giving you? OK, Alex. Then what am I supposed to do, just move on?
If you are having or if you are getting very good dick from a man and you can lower your expectations and you can say to yourself, I'm going to be okay. If on a Saturday night he blows me off. That's fine, because the dick is so good that then the next time he text me, I just I do want to have sex with him. I don't give a fuck. Then that's fine. What I would suggest for those women is find another body, have enough people on your roster that if the main dick that is a dick and you like his dick, if he blows you off in order to keep yourself from feeling like a large piece of shit, have another body on your roster that those nights that you get blown off, you can text that person that can keep you kind of a flow.
Then you're not gonna be in the fuckin bathroom with razors and you're like, I'm going to die because I've been there, but no. So that would be my one suggestion. However, I think the person that has the power in the relationship succeeds and endless. Listen, and I know this is going to, like, really piss people off because I think I remember tweeting it like a really long time ago and the and the amount of people on Twitter that were like so like that is literally the most toxic thing you can fucking say, don't fucking care.
Because guess what? My mom told it to me also when I was at a young age and like shardlow to her because as a psychologist, I think she wanted me to be ready for battle. Some of this stuff you can say it's not healthy, but it really has helped me. So it should help you. The person that cares, least in the relationship, holds the power. Wow. Alex, you're really going to hit us like that, huh?
Yeah. Think about that. Think about the person in the relationship that cares the least. So let's paint a picture. I'm in a relationship with a guy. Total Dick. Fuck boy. Barely will text me when I want him to text me. What does that make a girl do? It makes me chase him. It makes me wonder what he's doing. I'm always constantly concerned about him. Whereas he. What is he doing? Why is he texting me back?
Why is he liking other girls. But Bubba. Bubba. And you go down this rabbit hole. So who has the power. He does because he doesn't give a fuck. And then it makes the other person feel insecure. And then you start to chase them like this is the shit that I think women avoid the fucking facts in front of them. And the reason I think a lot of us do it is because we're thinking like women.
Wow. Shocker. And that's not our fault. But I. And I kind of want to, like, retrain Daddy Gang's brain right now. When you are dating a man, a lot of times you just have to adapt a little bit of the male thinking if you want to be successful, especially in like the dating phase and playing the game and all that shit, if it's your fucking boyfriend, blow his fucking ass up until he answers. But if you're trying to play the game, you need to kind of rewire your brain a little bit.
How do we do that, Alex? Men, when something is bothering them, they like to pull away and they like to deal with it internally by themselves, and they like to distract themselves with men. Oh, we're men. We need to talk about things until it's fucking dug into the ground. It's fucking carved into every tree on the fucking block. And everyone knows our fucking issue and we talk through our issues. So women, if there's one thing at times.
Think like a man. Like when you are getting fucked over by this guy. When you are drunk and you want to text this guy, I always like to think, well, what would he do? And it's a fucking pain, you all when it happens.
But it's like, well, what would he do? Jennifer, what would he do? Oh, he wouldn't text. Has you ever usually texted you when he's drunk? No. Oh, we he doesn't slide in when he's drunk. Oh. Oh. He only does for a booty call. Oh. So Jennifer, why are you sending him paragraph's when you're drunk? Have you ever gotten a paragraph from him? Oh, no.
Okay. Progress. Jennifer, we're recognizing you look like a fucking moron when you're drunk. And for some reason, he never sends you emotionally charged text when he's drunk. Okay, so what about next time when you're out? If you're about to go, send him a crazy ass, big ass paragraph about how you're just so fucking annoyed. Because you know what, Ethan? You're just constantly fucking with my head and I fuck you. And this. All right.
You want to text and you have to text him. Send him. A booty call. OK, how about we start there? All right. I'm letting you text him, but you're going to do what he does. Hey, you up or whatever the fuck he's texting you all the time. Copy and paste one of his booty call text and send it to him one night. Let's start there. OK, real good.
Men hate, hate, hate. Did you guys here hate the word? Hate, hate. Strong word. Don't care. Hate men. Hate when women are emotional. And this is the biggest fucking big fat fuck in. Hello everybody. Motherfuckers. Darn good. Listen up. Men freak out internally when they see a woman getting emotional, especially when you are not dating this man. To get emotional with a man when you're not dating, you have no right like you have the right, send the fuckin bear.
Go for it. Look batshit. What I'm saying is if you send that when you're not even dating. A man is literally going to shut the fuck down and every single thing you send him and say to him is literally going in one ear and out the next. So women, let's think about this instead of being a fucking emotional piece of shit that you're just freaking the fuck out at him and you're screaming and you're like, you fuck.
Let's do the complete fucking opposite. And I know that so many people are going to be like, you're just putting women down. Like we should embrace who we are. We're emotional beings. No, I don't fucking care. I don't care. You can be emotional with your friends, but if you're trying to play the game with the man, if you can take a few, a few, just a few of our female traits out of it, when you're trying to talk to a guy, you will succeed way bigger than what you have in the past.
The amount of times that I have tried to act more like a man than the guy I'm dating now. Not showing up with a fucking strap on being like, get on the bed, Bill. Let's go.
Know what I mean by that is when he does something to completely piss me off, like he ignores me that one night and then the next day he slides in and says, hey, I'm really sorry about whatever Ebola. I don't I don't say anything mean. I don't even leave him on red. Sometimes I want to show I'm being petty. I don't answer his message. Two days later, hey, what are you doing? Want to hang out later?
He's going to be OK. We haven't heard from you in two days. I thought you were. We deal with the emotions in your fucking bedroom. Write them in your fucking diary. Don't even let him see you fucking sweating. I promise you, girls, this is part of the game that I play and it works every fucking time. Make a man wonder why the fuck is she not? Why is she not wait. Why are you upset?
Why aren't you calling me screaming like where are the 900 phone calls? Don't do it. Literally. Don't do it. Don't give it to him, OK?
There's a lot of strategy that goes behind this. And I understand a lot of women are like, this is unhealthy. This is. No, it's not. Ruhlman, but not the kind that you swipe on your dick. It's things that you put on your face.
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So. Yes. Yes. Hey, guys. My mom is just coming down for the laundry. Mom, I'm literally in the middle of my fucking podcast.
This is your. You are going to miss me. Oh, hey, guys.
This is the fax. My mom is coming down to literally do my laundry. And I was just a bitch yelling at her. She's. Mom, we're in the middle of the podcast. I just let the daddy gang know we don't know what we're doing. No, I'm not texting him. Oh, will you please come and say that in the microphone? I you know, you're not my mom's little like, hey, did you text him out?
And I'm like, no, I'm not sexy. You think not that one. I hate that one. He's a sociopath. Okay, Mom. No, I didn't text him. She likes the new one. Oh, she likes the new note. No, I haven't decided, Mom. Thank you.
Yes, thank you, Mom. We can talk about this later, wine talk soon. Go do my laundry. Yeah. Thanks, Mom. My mom is, like, obsessed with one of my ex boyfriends, and he is not a part of the equation right now. You know, we started talking again. Looking forward to the future. But for now, we're dealing with sociopath and new men. Thanks for the laundry, Laurie.
Oh, what pod cast does is that, Mike? Hey, Daddy. Sorry. Hold on. My mom is just coming down so quickly do my laundry and she's just doing a little pit stop to see if I decided on the flight tomorrow. Okay. Sorry about that. Let's get in to the next segment. Sex Mom. Go the fuck upstairs. I see her lurking.
Go upstairs. I was literally hiding in the laundry room, like having so much fun.
I swear to God, if I wasn't born, this family would be so fucking boring. OK. I just took a swig of water. I need a little break. Podcasting alone is hard. The amount of women that write into my podcast on the daily and are like, I have never had an orgasm. I have never had an orgasm. I cannot come when I'm having sex. I have never fucking came. Can't come. Can't come. Can't came.
Came, come. Got it. You can't come. Totally normal. What? Totally normal. Ha. Totally normal. It is so fucking hard for some women to have an orgasm. And if every single person listening to this podcast that is a female, if you are feeling discouraged, if you are feeling let down because you're embarrassed almost like you almost you're in a group with your friends and all your girlfriends are talking about how fucking hard she came on Giannis Diggle Giant to issues up in there with his fucking construction boots on it fucking Stacy's brains out And you're like Steve They're like Oh my God me too.
Like I literally go time I can't even stop. Won't stop. Like come all the fucking time. And meanwhile you're lying. Liar. You're lying inside and you're like, oh my God, I wish I've had an orgasm. I wish I have. But I'm lying to everyone around me and I'm basically lying to myself and I'm lying to myself when I'm getting fucked. But I'm just pretending. And it's just a big fat fucking lie.
It's exhausting. But at the end of the day, it's upsetting. At the end of the day, I get it. Socially, there's pressure when you're around your friends to talk about how you've had an orgasm, especially if there's one stupid fucking bitch, Nicole, that's like got a squirt all the fucking time. It's like, oh, my God. Like, I want to take a fucking day off. Like, my God is pussy just begging rain all day.
It's like, no, cool. Just relax, okay? Just please stop.
Now, all of us are fucking sprinkler like you like real it in bitch. But when you have people around you that constantly are talking about having these amazing orgasms and you are a woman listening to this podcast that doesn't have those orgasm or is never had an orgasm, it is a very defeating feeling. And you start to just accept sex without coming.
No. Nope. Never found really things. So, you know, if you're part of the daddy. Nope. Not going to happen. We're gonna work on this. Here are my two little tips. Sacranie. Tips, Clunies. OK. Number one. Maybe before you go to bed. This is gonna sound a little fucking weird, but just hear me out. Maybe before you're getting into bed that night, you could literally be talking to zero men.
Don't care. This is for you. Put on, like, kind of a hot bra. Hot panties. Or don't even be nude. Take a couple fucking pictures of yourself. Nude. Basically, do like you're going to send a guy a nude, but for yourself. I know this sounds out of control, narcissistic. I don't think so. But when I am taking nudes, I, like, get turned on. And I think that a lot of women would understand what I'm saying.
It's like there's something about you trying to be sexy, like throughout you posing and getting an Ashar or like a vagina star or a tit shot or a mirror shot. You're gonna start getting turned on. And I know it sounds insane, but just go with it, maybe start touching yourself and maybe start feeling it out. Okay, then you're gonna get in bed now. This is the porn that I want you to watch. If you are a woman that is not having orgasms and you don't like to watch porn, you are going to.
Pick an A.S. simar porn of a girl masturbating. OK, stay with me here, people. I have done it before, and it was really fucking hot and it got me off. You are basically going to open your phone, find an asset more Asmar pawn of a girl masturbating. She could be using a dildo. She could be using a vibrator, whatever it is. And you're going to put your phone down and you're going to hear her moaning and you're going to hear her using her toy on herself.
And simultaneously, you are going to be masturbating. And hearing her moans is going to I swear to God, just give it a fucking try and you have to try a couple different that because I've like had some girls were like, hey, you're annoying me. And you have to find like specific videos, like I found this one video that's long as and there's this girl that goes in different positions when she's masturbating. And it was so fucking hot.
And I just put it right next to my on my pillow next to my ear. And I start masturbating basically with her. And I am telling you, ladies, the first time I ever did this, I because you can have different types of orgasms. I had a clitoral orgasm. And then I also had an internal, like, G spot orgasm. OK, so it's like the internal orgasm. You feel like that pulsating inside of you would like a deeper orgasm.
And then the clit is like a tingly sensation. I had both. It was like it was amazing. And I remember being like, OK, I need to go tell the fucking daddy youngness it was me not fully focusing on a video, watching it go down. But I had the audio in my ear playing and embrace it. I think sometimes people get in their head so much in their freaking the fuck out and they're like, I just feel weird.
Like I just like don't know if I know you're by yourself. We do some of the weirdest fucking shit when you're by yourself. Like we do things that are Cringely you fucking every single person listening to is by jazz is going to sound schizophrenic. No. You we've all talked to ourselves before while we're by ourselves talking herself through something or you fucking pick your nose or whatever you're doing, you do a lot by yourself. So why not do something you enjoy?
And if you feel a little fucking discouraged, I urge you to take these tips. Boom, boom.
Girls, are you already having an orgasm? I'd low key just had one while I was doing that segment. I'm so sad that I'm in my parents basement. They're probably like so upset. But the chairs were and we're here. Asla report for the fucking win.
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Judy Chu is the COO. Don't do it. They said, don't do it, Alex, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. I don't care. Glees. Charles. Bye. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Guys, it's questions of the Week. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you for coming to my favorite segment of the fucking day. Questions up the fucking week, bitch.
I'm about to pop off this question of the week was just like a little a little bit of just like a daddy gang comment that just made me really fucking happy for every man and woman listening. Okay. Hi, Daddy. I'm new to podcast, but I just wanted to say thank you for normalizing all this shit that everyone else is embarrassed to talk about. I was having major anxiety about sex with my new boyfriend, even though I'm obsessed with him, nothing helped.
But when I started listening to call her daddy, I felt really excited about sex again. And it's freeing to have somebody talk about women's sexuality without any fucking rules. She didn't say the word fucking, but you guys know me. I fucking outed it in there for a little while.
Yes, bitch. Yes, fucking bitch. Daddy fucking gang. Yes. Like, I. I just wanted to read that because I was thinking about it. I'm like, I don't want anyone to be looking at Saks like fuck. Like, I just. Okay. I got to mark that off today. Like it's all my to do list. Like it's a fucking chore. If you enjoy masturbating by yourself with your fucking vibrator, you should be that excited about sex too, the way you feel about, like, getting in your bed at night, undo your fucking comfy covers and look winking at or fucking masturbating with your clit.
You should want to feel that way about having sex with your partner, your hookup buddy. So I think that's why I want to talk about all this shit, because it's like let's let's make sex fun again. All right. Now, that ever was it. But I think a lot of people put so much fucking pressure on themselves. This podcast, it's like, what's a fucking fun? Guess what? I have like a little secret for you guys.
It's a good to blow your fucking minds. So, like, we are all alive because her parents.
Why? No. Yes. So everyone that thinks this show is fucking disgusting, go fuck yourself. Oh, my God. They're talking about sex a bit.
You're you're literally breathing because your mom was a fucking horn. Was fucking your dad. No, she may be like a virgin. I had sex once, but who cares? We're all fucking alive because they were banging, so we should fucking bang.
OK, I'm calm down now. Let's move on to a question, OK? Holy fucking shit. Alex Daddy, I love you. So basically, I've been hooking up with my ex because Hot Girl Summer. Don't say that. And on the side, he has been hooking up with other bitches. He hooked up with us both in the same night. How do I bring it up to him and not sound crazy? Or how do I piss him off?
Love you so much. So you don't bring it up. That's a live answer. You don't bring it up to him. Do I look like a stupid, crazy, psycho obsessed in love bitch? No, the answer is no. So what do you do? You don't bring it up. OK, next question. I love the podcast. I have never had sex. I'm 21 years old and I don't know how to approach the opportunity. Should I shoot for an older man or younger a virgin or not?
I really need advice on this and I feel that you're an expert on this topic. This is a great question and I feel like I've been reading a lot of questions lately and I do feel like we've got a good amount of people on here that maybe they're not virgins, but they're not as experienced. And that's fine. We welcome all daddies. All right. Here's the thing. If you're a virgin, I think that you have to stop thinking of yourself as a virgin.
Obviously, you know, you are inside, in and out, through and through fucking Virgin Mother Mary. However, I think that when you're approaching sexual situations, obviously everyone's different. But I think if you stop putting so much pressure on yourself like I'm a virgin, the first time, the first time I'm a virgin, I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm a virgin. And I need to make sure that my first time is this, this, this and this.
Listen, there are some girls that literally plan like their weddings. They plan the time that they're deflowered. They're like, I'm gonna be wearing this and he's going to court me like this. And we are going to have sex on these sheets at this time during this day. And it's like, hey, you know, see if it works for you and that's your fucking cup of tea. Beautiful fucking love that, Mary Beth. However, here on call her daddy, I'm going to tell you that as special as your first time can fucking be.
It's never usually going to live up to what you fucking wanted it to be. So when people are like, should I just get it out of the fucking way?
I hate to say yes, but I think if you're a person that is in, like, planning for it, like their fucking wedding day, then yeah, I think if you're attracted to a guy, go for it. I would just really, really hope that you don't go for someone that's like a full blown fucking asshole, because I think a lot of people get left in a situation where then they just feel shitty about themselves because not only is he an ass when he's not texting you back, but that was your first fucking time having sex.
What you're going to what you will enjoy is not the sex you'll enjoy the way that the man treats you pre during and post. That's really what being a virgin and like losing your virginity means. You're not going to be like. I just lost my virginity. And let me just tell you, my orgasm was out of fucking control. No, I don't. I don't know a lot of women that like. I had an orgasm when I lost my virginity.
It doesn't happen for a very long time. Right after you lose your virginity. I promise you, on my fucking life, it's not gonna be good sex. Like, literally, it's almost I get the first, like, year of your life out of the fucking way because then you're gonna start having good sex. So the sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can begin to progress with having good sex. And I know people are going to like Alex, stop it.
But it's the fucking truth. I literally said it's like each phase of my life, high school. I feel like I was just blacking out when I was having sex. I'm like, what is even happening? Like, that's most who feel like I didn't know. And the guy didn't even fucking know what was happening with my clit. So like, I was like, I don't really think I'm enjoying this, but like, this is what we're supposed to be doing.
Right. And I was just too fucking young. College sex was way better than high school. But still, I thought college sex was the ultimate until I got out of college. And I was like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. I was literally not having sex in college. Like, you go through these slowly throughout. Getting more experience. Do you just get better at Saks and you get better at knowing your body, knowing what you like.
You also just know how to, like, handle a man better. If I'm speaking to the women and then men, too, it's like you. The more you have sex, like, the more you obviously are going to get experienced. So so the sooner you get that out of the way, the sooner we can start having fucking great orgasms and then fucking orgies and then threesomes and then backflips onto dicks. Do you know what I'm saying? Me either.
Okay. Moving on. Okay. Hi, Alex. I have a super embarrassing problem to admit. I am in my 20s and I still give hickeys. I personally think it's super hot when a guy sucks and bites my neck and other places during sex. So I assume the guys like it to most guys seem into it during sex, but then end up with a bad hickey afterwards. And even though they like it during sex, they end up thinking I'm a psycho once they look at their necks.
Any advice? Yeah. My advice is you need to stop doing that. But that's like you need to stop doing that. Sorry to be a bitch, but like, I don't know why you're doing that. Hickeys are literally four people that are in sixth grade that want to show that they like how to make out session. That is not cute. I think that hickies are so dumb. And I think that, like, when obviously there are times in sex that, like, you can be getting hot and heavy.
You can always control a hickey. You can literally always control it. There is no need for anyone to ever have a hickey. You can suck on their neck. You can kiss on their neck. You can be biting their neck. You don't need to give them a hickey. Even biting on their neck will leave a different mark. A hickey. No. You, like, intentionally made that decision for a few fucking long ass seconds. I'm gonna sit here and suck the fucking living shit out of your skin.
We don't need it. It really is elementary. And I'm not trying to be an asshole. But like, if a guy gave me a hickey, I'd be like, wait, you're. Why? Why, why? Why? It literally is like prudes do that to show they're sexually active. If you're sexually active, you don't need a fucking Kicki. If however, if you do like to like get marks the fuck up by people when you're having sex.
Something I really like to do is like if a guy is fucking me and like is on top of me, I love to, like, put my hands on their back and, like, grab them and, like, thrust them closer to me when they're fucking me. And I remember one guy I was hooking up with, he and I had like really, really hot sex. And we were drunk and I, like, scratched the fuck out of, like, the side of his back because I was, like, pulling him closer to me so fucking hard while he was fucking me.
And then the next day he went to his game and he, like, texted me a picture in the locker room of his side of his back. And he was like, I just fucking took off my shirt. And all my teammates were like, what the fuck happened to you? In, like, a hot way? He was like, Jesus Christ. I forgot how like like while we got last night. And in his mind, it reminded him of the hot sex we had.
OK. This is a really fucking good question. Are you guys ready? Are you fucking amped? I am OK. Hey, Daddy. Love you. Love you too, bitch. All right. She said last week you and Savannah talked about always having that guy in the corner of your mind. That is the person you want to end up with. But you find boring right now. I was wondering what you think about when the girl is in that position in the relationship.
Because sometimes I feel that way. I have a guy that I've had a thing with in the past and we still talk. But I know he likes to fuck around and is a horny motherfucker who claims to still like his ex girlfriend. However, he still says I'm a great girl and cares about me. So I was wondering, what are your thoughts and advice for the girls who are the marriage material for a guy? But they make us wait around while they fuck around.
Oh, what a good one.
Let me think about this. You don't want to become a doormat. You don't want to become that girl that he's like, Oh, Sarah Beth, you're so cute. And it's like, well, I don't want to be cute. Why are you always fucking Cassidy? But I'm the girl that you always just tell me you care about me. I guess I get nervous for those women because I see it often where, like, you almost take too much of their shit.
So if I were you and I know like a lot of women in this position, maybe this feels a little strange for you to do because you may not be a girl that plays a lot of games and that's totally fine. And I respect that. If if I'm giving you my advice, though, because I know it will work, what it is is. You don't need to fuck around with more guys, but you need to give off that vibe that you are doing your own fucking thing and then all of a sudden you're not so waiting in the wings.
Marriage girl, because you're fucking busy and there is a potential you may move the fuck on when a guy treats you like a doormat and it's like you'll be there. You'll be there every fucking day when I come home. That is the fucking worse, because men specifically, when they get that in their mind that like they have that one girl that's so nice and she'll always be there. It's almost. Or toxic, because then they feel because you're so understanding and you're such a good girl.
He feels like he has the reins to then go and fuck other people and you'll always fucking be there. You need to start living your fucking life because I don't mean to be a fucking asshole. But usually what ends up happening with those guys is they'll find an in-between of you who so caring a nice marriage material and then all the hoes that he's fucking and he'll find like an in-between of a really fun, crazy girl that is a girl for material.
And he'll start dating her and then you're gonna be like, wee wee.
What would I thought? And it's like, no, bitch. You thought, what? You literally just fucking waited around and just like we're waiting firmed what pick? You know, go fucking pick someone. Go pick someone for yourself. Don't wait to be chosen. You go fuck and choose someone.
All right, guys, that is it for this week's episode. I love you guys. I think this is sad because I'm not going to talk to you guys next week. I will be at my day appointment and then I'm moving into my new place in New York City, which is super exciting. I'm in a vlog that I think it will be very fun, flirty, exciting. Go follow my YouTube channel. Just Alexander Cooper. Hopefully I'll get to log up soon.
I fucking love your purchase. If you guys want some merch, go to the merch store. It's barstool sports dot com and then go to store and shop co.. We got a lot of good shit. I'm bringing some of my merch to my sexual appointment because I just feel like it's fun and flirty. And I think my the one shirt that I'm going to wear off the plane is gonna be the cheat on him. Sure. Which is coming out soon.
Bear with me. I know it's taken a while. I love you guys so much. Make sure you keep writing questions of the week. And I have narrowed down the daddy gang members that potentially may be coming on the show when we come back. So I hope you all, all, all have an amazing safe s July 4th. I'm so fucking sad. I can't say I'll see you fuckers next Wednesday, but I'll see you fuckers in two.