Transcribe your podcast

Had baby. Bitches were back this week and so is honey. Do you like online shopping? Do you like saving money? The correct answer is yes. So it's a team God. Good thing that call her daddy is presented by had a baby. Guys, listen, honey is a free browser extension. You know the drill. It automatically finds you the best promo codes and applied them to your cart. You add it to your computer and then you shop online like normal.


And then when you go to check out the honey button drops down and it will have all of the applied coupons that they found on the Internet for you. You click apply coupons and then you literally wait a few seconds and you watch as honey scans the entire database to find you coupon codes and then it drops your price. I mean, I'm confused why anyone wouldn't download it. It's free. OK, and you save money. So Honey works on nearly every online store.


Guys, if you're shopping at Lululemon door, Dosch Safarov revolve whatever it is. So guys, get honey for free. Join Honeycombs large daddy. That's join honey dot com slash daddy. Daddy, do I call her daddy? Call her daddy.


What the fuck is up daddy gang? It is Alex Cooper back again for another episode of Call Her Daddy. How are you guys doing? I missed you guys last week. OK, here's the situation. We don't have time to go over anything but this. Alex, you were supposed to go see a man, and I did. And now I'm here to tell you. Hello, Daddy. Gang, I am back. And I did not pick door number one and I did not pick.


Door number two. Now, the thing about this podcast, like doing this alone, I'm realizing it's really fucking weird because usually I would have a co-host and she would look at me and she would say, Alex. So where did you go? But I don't have a co-host anymore. I don't have a friend anymore. So I'm by myself. So I have to speak for myself and for the audience. So I'm assuming right now, everybody listening to this in their ears, you're saying, oh, my goodness, Alex, where did you go then if you didn't pick.


Door number one or door number two? And for anyone wondering what I'm talking about, I'm fucking talking about Narnia over here. You're like, what doors? Last week I told you guys that I was going on a dick appointment. I was getting on a flight and I was going to acquire a dick. Kind of like you see in those like shows, Grey's Anatomy, where the doctors get on the plane to go get the heart. I was getting on a plane to go get the dick and put it inside of me.


Now, I had two options and I didn't pick one or two. Door number fucking three, who is door number three?


Alex, I'm trying to figure out how to explain who the fuck. Door number three was and who I went to see this past week. Why are you. Oh, let's try to. Maybe I'll try to do a different voice to kind of like level it out. Why are you struggling to tell us about this man, Alex? Oh, I don't know, daddy gang. Maybe because I am in love with this man.


What? What? This is. This is a case for the FBI. Here's the thing, Daddy gang. It's Alex. I'm going to have a really honest and open communication with you right now throughout my entire time here on. Throughout my entire employment here at call her daddy corporation. I have told you about getting a dick in my ass accidentally from my boyfriend in college. I've talked to you about Slim Shady. Fuckin piece of shit that he is.


I've talked to you about the Canadian and his amazing dick. And I have never spoken to you about the man that literally blows all of those men away.


That literally brings me to my knees, not just to give the fuckin Cooper special, you sick fucks brings me to my knees because he is everything I talk about wanting on this podcast. For every woman listening. And I've got him, but I've don't got him because I can't commit to him because I'm a psychopath. Let me break it down for you guys. You guys, you're like Alex. Let's take a deep breath and take a drink. Water.


You guys take this in. Alex Cooper has a man that she actually is emotional feelings for all of your like.


Alex, stop. Don't get weak on us. Don't. I'm not getting fucking weak because you're going to listen to this story and be like, oh, she's still there.


All right, everybody sit back, relax and hope to tell you a tale as old as time. And when I say as old as time. I mean, this goes back to my junior year of college. I'm going to say that and say that again. My junior year of college, I met this man. He is beautiful. He is tall, dark and handsome. He is the definition of everything I masturbate to. In the depths of my fucking room, under my covers, he is what I would consider a perfect specimen.


I think that genuinely of any guy I've ever hooked up with. He's the hottest man I've hooked up with. So that's just through and through. Great fucking sax guy. Then emotionally, he does something to me that is so disturbing, so intoxicating. And it's this thing that starts with an L. Okay. And it's not lust. Okay. I know it's disgusting, but I'm going to talk about it because the thing is. It's the craziest thing, but I am a human being, and I know contrary to everything I've ever said on this podcast.


I do know in the future. Down the line, I want a relationship. I'm not ready for one right now, but I'll want one one day, Kay. And if I was going to pick someone to be the perfect specimen for that relationship, it would be this man. So now all of you asking Alex, give us details about this man. Who is this man? Why have you never fucking talked about him? Well, that's a great question, guys.


Thanks for asking. I don't need to get into his profession. You guys can take that one away. He is the first guy that I ever introduced to my parents. He's older than me. He's like in his 30s. And very long time ago, this man told me that he was in love with me and I broke up with him immediately.


The minute he told me that, I was like, cut the fuck off. And that's not a joke. And it's sick. It's wrong in the head. But I wasn't ready for a relationship. I met him when I was like I was too young. So we stayed friends. We continued to hook up.


And he he is the most self confident, comfortable in his own skin person I've ever met. And he has let me know that he doesn't lose sleep over me dating other people because he's quite confident. And I quote that no man will give me emotionally or physically what he has to give me. And he has looked me in the eyes and he has said that to me. And I have looked him right back in the eyes and said, I will prove you wrong.


Like, why do I do that? I do not know. But there I was on a plane this past week. Door number three. And he opened it and he laughed and we shared a great bye. Yeah. We had a great weekend. Tons of you guys were wondering. I never had have a bad time with him. I never have a bad time. Which begs the question, why don't you spend more time with this man, Alex?


I don't know. Did I mention I'm in therapy? So this is what happened. I had kind of been recently communicating with him. Sometimes we go in lulls and the morning of where I was supposed to get on the flight to go see door number one or door number two. I'd been talking to door number three and he basically asked me what I was doing.


And I said, well, I'm actually currently trying to decide between these two doors, buddy.


And basically what is happening is he was like, why don't you come see me? How fucking dare he? I know. And when he offered that all of a sudden door number one and door number two, they just looked really small and insignificant and kind of ugly. Was just like a little unattractive, to be quite honest. So I get on the plane and I go to see the man. I don't know what the fuck to call him. The man.


The man. And I have an amazing trip. It was amazing. I had amazing sex. I. Let's guys have a moment of silence for Alex. I had amazing sex. Thank you. The whole situation is just I can't think about a relationship right now. I don't want a fucking relationship right now. I know I'll want one down the road. But for right now, I want to be fucking single. I'm 25 years old, living in New York City, having the fucking time of my life, dating a bunch of guys, learning a bunch of shit.


I think, especially as of recent events that we all witnessed live on the news. I watched someone's career essentially, literally get ruined because they allowed a man to fuck with their bag and fuck with their money and fuck with their career. And that will never be me. That's never been me. I've literally wanted this my whole life. I've wanted to make my own fucking money and make something of myself. So, yes, I want a relationship.


I have a heart, but I don't want that right now. My priority is myself right now. All right. I don't need any fucking Alex's guidestar to Alex's. No, I'm actually the complete opposite. I've held off on a perfectly perfect relationship for five fucking years because I'm being this thing and it's called Smart K. So right now, putting the perfect little man the box in the corner, occasionally flying on planes to go get my brains fucked.


But for now, we're living our best lives. We're dating around. We're fucking around. And who cares if I'm thinking about one person when I'm getting fucked by others? It's none of those people's business what I do in my head. Okay. And how I get myself to come is Nanya. Okay? Jesus Christ. Let's move on with the episode. I'm sweating.


Do as Rohlman does. Hell, I'll handle it, dude. Roman swipes. And guess what? I have a little swipe ball. You'll win a whole guys Roman swipes. You know the drill. Every man listening. Every girl listening that your boyfriend isn't fuckin pounding you to pound town. It's like, hey babe, why do you only last 30 fucking seconds? I barely felt you k. Roman swipes guys. You know the fucking drill. They're clinically proven to help you last way longer in the bedroom.


Get that little weenie activated up in there. All right. It's effective. Easy to use fast acting and it doesn't require a prescription. Roman swipes are discreet. See a little fucking weirdos that are all insecure. I don't want to grow to know him swiping it on there. Guess what, bitch? It's in a discreet package. They won't even know. And then you have sex for so long that she leaves and tells her girlfriends how unbelievable that bomb Dick was.


And he actually lasted long enough to make me come. What a concept. Oh, my God. So, guys, Romans swipes go to get Roman dot coms large. Daddy, to get your first month of swipes for just five bucks. When you choose a monthly plan again, that's get Roman dot com slash daddy. Okay. God, this is sad.


Last fucking episode in my parents basement just just hits different being home and having my mom creepily listen in on my fucking conversations with you guys. Okay. Before we move forward now, let's get the fuck out of our feels. I'm disgusted. I never want to say the word love again on the show, but I'm glad I got to share that part of my life with you all. Have no fear. I do not date men that were suspenders. I will never allow what happened to you and the show to happen because I fall in love.


I know, historically speaking, it's usually the father that leaves, not me. And I love you all. Okay.


Okay. So I want to address a question that is so frequently asked and it annoys the living shit out of me because I keep seeing it. And the answer is very straightforward and it's very simple. So we're going to put this to bed right now. Okay. From a daddy gang member. Hi, Alex. I'm 25 and currently dating someone, it's 12 years older than me. I'm literally in love with him, but my friends think it's weird to be with someone that much older.


We're really happy together, but I feel like my friends are kind of making me feel weird about the age difference, even though I honestly barely notice it. Any tips on how to deal with this much love? XO, XO, Gossip Girl.


Yes. So that's weird. All right. I love fucking hate people. Sometimes it's like, oh my God, my friends are so worried about me dating a guy that's 12 years older than me. Tell your friends to fuck off girlfriend. You have no shame. Men, we've talked about it before. Men are immature as shit. So honestly, my advice to you would be to make fun of your fucking friends for dating a guy the same age as them.


And you should beg. Well, honestly, Karen, I think it's really fucking creepy that you're dating a guy that's your same age where 25. So that means he's basically 16 years old. So you're Lokey a fuckin pedophile, Karen. So fuck off. Okay.


That's literally what I would say. I'm like, if your friends are dating a guy that is the same age as them, you need to call. Call them creepy. Okay. Because essentially the guy that's 12 years older than you will have a little bit, maybe maybe a little bit more maturity on you if that. Okay. And I'm stretching because the guy that I dated that was 13 years older than me, I was still more mature than them.


So do you get what I'm saying? And that's that. And that's it. And that's the T.. They're fucking weirdos. Okay. Okay, that is aggressive, but you know what I'm saying. It's kind of fucking true. I could never date a guy my age. I don't understand the concept because I would speak to them. And it's like they're speaking in tongues. And by tongues, I mean they're speaking in high school language and I can't deal with that.


So I want to date a guy that's 70. Okay. I want a 70s about to croak the fuck out because maybe by then that man will eventually have something that is like somewhat able for me to grasp on to that is like someone mature. Okay. Glad we cleared that up. Picture this lady's picture. Close your eyes. Everybody, listen. Is it not? The most amazing feeling. When the guy that you are talking to or dating or your husband.


Comes up to you. And initiates an emotional conversation. It's like every woman's dream. All of you are like you. I'm getting sensory tingles. Yes. Keep going. Alex. He walks in the room. And when a man is like, Hey, babe, do you wanna talk? You seem upset or stressed or tense, etc.. Dream. Dream. Absolu. Dream because we're all on the same page. We know men. They don't exactly get Hoffe by having emotional conversations.


And it is the one of the biggest problems, communicative early that women and men have. Because women. We want to talk about our feelings. We want to go through what we're feeling. And men are like, no in glass, bitch. I don't want to talk about that. What I want to talk about is something different. Okay. And that different conversation. Ladies, guess what that is. As much as we would love that little Dr.


Phil side of his asshole to come through more. Your significant other. The man what he would love just as much as you. To initiate something.


It's sex.


No, she didn't. Alex, why did you have to do that to us? You were on a roll. You were literally putting men in the shitter, have emotional conversations with your girls. Men? No, bitches, I'm coming for your throats. If you are not initiating sex with your man and you are leaving it for your man to do the God damn thing, shame on you. I want a little on a little internal, a little internal introspective moment.


Every woman this and to me, think about the last time you initiated sex, not the last time you had sex.


Your slutty ass bitches, Ninetto. When is the last time with your man that you you did a sneak attack. You did a little one too, on his asshole and pinned him down and let him know what was up. You can check your calendars all day. I'll take a sip of water. My mouth is dry. Did I just hear your Francine? Francine, was that you in the back? Francine everyone. Francine is raising her hand. What did you say, Francine?


I have hated sex in two years.


Wow. Francine, you've a boyfriend. Yeah.


So you're getting cheated on. You stupid bitch. Guys, listen up. I want to I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, and it's initiating sex for all the women around the world.


I'm going to keep talking about it because it's a pressing issue. How to have a healthy relationship, initiate sex, 50 50.


But my boyfriend is so much hornier than me. I'll text guys if you.


Are not initiating sex 50 50 with your partner. How do you think that makes your partner feel like a creeper, literally? Creepy, like literally if you are a woman?


Because I'm sorry, but I'm was going to use women because a lot of women don't initiate Zak's. And then it's like the man's always a hornier one. But I know that obviously there are situations where the girls hornier AK when we had Savannah on.


But if you are a woman and he is constantly having to do a little tap tap, hey, little hand down the pants will hand on thigh to try to set the move. And you're like, Matthew, please. I'm watching the card, Ashie. And he begins to feel like a creature that is fucking creepy. OK, creeper in the night, little Chester molester. OK, I'm assuming that's not how we hunt our boyfriends to feel. We do enjoy having sex with them.


And if you don't, then why the fuck are you in the relationship? So first of all, why are you sitting on the couch next to Chester if you don't want Chester to fuck you?


But the play is is there are a lot of women in the world and you shouldn't feel shitty. It's just naturally. Maybe you're not as horny as a man. Fine. Even it out a little because there are men that write into me and they're like, hmm. So I've never had my girl grabbed for my dick. Like, I have to pull off it in her lap and be like, please. So I don't know. I don't know.


I just could see that mentally affecting a man. And I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm not trying to tell you you're gonna get cheated on here to cheat if you don't. But. No, I just. Yeah. No. Yes.


Yes. Actually, yes. This is what's happening, ladies. I have said in the past. If you're not sucking your man's dick, that's fine. But someone else is OK. If you are not initiating sex with your man and you don't want to fuck your man, I'm sorry, but why would he go cheat on you? He you're clearly not fucking him. I'm saying this in the hopes of. You want to have sex with him. Right.


And you just know that you're that kind of girl that kind of fails at initiating sex. I have a couple tricks that I want to pass on to my ho daddies. Number one, I brought up some porn last episode. We're gonna use it in a little different way. Okay. I did this once. Let me tell you why I did it. It's kind of backwards. So I was visiting this guy and I knew he was going to come home.


He was gonna want to have sex. Terrifying. Literally awful. No, I'm just kidding. So I knew he was gonna want to come home and have sex. And before he had left to leave the house, I was in the mood. Then by the time I knew he was gonna get home. Alex's vagina was not as moist. But I wanted to have sex. It's just my vagina wasn't pulsating, telling me it wanted to have sex.


So, ladies, this is what I did. I put my headphones in. I was on the couch and I was staring at the door waiting for his fat ass to get inside.


And I turned on the air. Some are porn that I was talking about, a girl masturbating. So I liked Lee started just kind of touching myself. I didn't even go inside of my pants just like lightly rubbing on the outside of my leggings. And I started to get turned on. OK. Then he walked in the door and he got me masturbating. And, you know, I heard the car, vroom, vroom.


I knew that mother fucker pulled up skirt skirt. And when he walked in, I was so fucking horny because I hadn't been fully touching myself. I then wanted to have sex, like if I had been by myself. There was no real pressure because if he came in and I wasn't turned on by the summer. By that point, fine. I don't have to have sex right there.


There's not like a clock being like you got two minutes. You better get wet or you're getting fucked real fuckin dry, Alex. No.


So my advice to all the data is around the weld. Listen up. Turn on some goddamn HSM or porn. He could be in the house and he's fuckin doing the dishes like that loser should be. And you want to initiate sex. Well, Alex. But I'm not in the mood. Put on some fucking fat headphones. Asmar that asshole. As a mar that shit and then literally press pause and go fuck the shit out of your boyfriend or your husband or whatever.


So that's my tip number. You know, another tip reminder. I've said it before, the surprise attack. Watch the surprise attack, Alex. Whoa, that sounds nifty. Oh, you just wait.


OK, listen up. This was one of my favorite things to do in college. Men expect a woman to just be like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm just not in the mood. He comes in. You guys are sitting on the couch. You say you don't feel great and you're just not in a good mood. And you give off the vibes, bitch. Your dick will not be getting sucked tonight. So he gets the cue. Tonight's out the night, Bruno.


All right. Tonight is the night you're going to watch Sports Center. And nothing is happening, man. Gina, you tuck your little weenie between your thighs. Maybe you'll get some tomorrow. So his guard is down. The best time to attack a man is when he's least expecting it, because when he is horny, he's in the mood and he won't appreciate it as much. Yeah, it will get him off great. And that will be a temporary like he needed it and then he got it.


But when he's not thinking he needs it. And then he gets it. So how do we do this, Alex? If you tell a man that you're not in the mood and like 30 minutes later. All of a fucking sudden. Five of your fingers reach forward like he usually does onto your thigh. And you go and you rub your hand on his dick and you start rubbing the outside of his pants or his sweat pants or is fuckin khakis.


No, don't do it. If he has cockies on. And then you look at him and then you get down on your fucking knees and you pull pull out his dick. I don't want him to have to do it. No, ladies. You are pulling this man's dick out of his pants and you give him a fucking blowjob. There are a lot of ways in life. People can fall in love. But I am telling you, if you do this to your significant other, they will re fall in love with you.


You have no idea what a surprise blow job does to a man. He will be replaying that situation over and over and over again for the rest of the week. I promise you, if you can just be like today at some point, no matter fucking what. I am going to be the one that initiates sex. I promise you, you're gonna save yourself in your head. Why don't I do that more and less? Then I get everyone listening.


I get. Everyone has body insecurity. Okay. And, oh, I feel like I've got a baby belly bloated today.


Or. Oh, I feel fat today. I'm feel chunky. Got some Kinkle today or. Oh I didn't fully shave and prepare for this or. Oh my hair is fucking greasy or old like bad Brightwell don't have sex. A few bad breath. That's fucking awful. But other than that all of those insecurities. Men don't care. Oh men don't care. If you're feeling bloated they can't tell. You think you look a little extra Puchi round today.


He doesn't notice. Think about this. You're sitting on the couch. It's in the middle of the day. In your mind, in your soul, you want to be that spontaneous fucking hoe. You're like, God damn it. I listen to caller daddy. I want to be a fucking calm savage. I want to just get on top of him, but. I feel bloated today and it's light out and we're in the middle of the living room and he is going to see.


He is kind of see what I've been hiding under my hoodie. Well, I just told you that a man is only going to care if you jump on his lap and fuck his dick. He's not going to care what jumped on his lap and fucks his dick. So why are you not getting on top of him? Get out of your heads next time you're sitting there and you're like, should I do it? I do it. Should I do it?


Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't feel confident. Or oh, is he going to be like, what the fuck? No, he's not going to like what the fuck he's going to like. Oh, fuck. Holy fuck. Stop letting your insecurities get in the way of sex. I. I have had this. Okay. I remember in college, I know this was actually fair game because tell me if you would have done this.


So I'm at this guy's place that I'm obsessed with. This was the older guy that I was dating that was so much older than me, and he was that Red Sox player. And I was like obsessed with him. And I was a fucking loser, literally, like pouring over every word he ever said to me. Literally, I would have sucked his toes, done anything. I was obsessed. Loser. Learned a lot from that one. Probably why I'm where I am today.


So I go over on a Sunday, so hung over.


If you guys know me, you know that I like to fake Tan. OK. And it looks bomb ninety nine point nine percent of the time on this specific Sunday and usually a lot of Sundays. This happens if Alex goes out and drink some tequila and wakes up extremely unwell. The thing that happens at the bar is at some point I usually get a drink spilled on me and then I wake up and then I look down and I, I know I look like a fucking streaked zebra tiger, whatever the fuck you want to call it.


The spray tan situation is disgusting. It doesn't bother women. It's like a joke. It's funny. Men, gay men are so disgusted by his spray tans. So I am sitting there in this man's high rise, living the life, trying to angle my body perfectly as I sit on that couch. And he's not paying attention to me for shit. And I'm thinking, oh, my God. I should get on top of him and I should whip out his dick and start sucking.


What a good idea. Right away. I can't we why can't you, Alex? Oh, I'll let you know, because I knew he was going to take off my shirt. Oh.


And I knew that I had streaks through and through on my tips, on my chest, through my arms. That looked like I was dirty. Really dirty. OK. And I was so terrified that he was going to be like. So. So what's wrong? Like, what is that like? Do you have a condition?


Like, what are we working with? Why are you why is half of your nipple orange and the other Habu White is can be. Who are you.


So I. Oh. So I sat there and I struggled and I ended up waiting to go to the bedroom where he had like these black allergies and then I fucked him. But listen to me actually now that I think about it, I don't blame myself, do I? No. Why would you guys have taken your shirt off in the middle of that light and let him look the streaky tiger? Alex? I don't think so.


So, OK, what was I saying? What how did this. Oh, yes.


Sometimes I can appreciate why maybe you're going to maneuver to a different location to initiate. We never don't initiate.


Maybe. Maybe just adjust the lighting a little bit. Okay. Moral of the story. Stop being passive. Be aggressive. Initiate sex. OK, guys, make me proud. Ladies, get out there and go wrangle your shit.


Go wrangle yourself a dick. Vroom, vroom, bitches, put a vibrator on your clit and have a little fucking thing I like to call an orgasm. Oh my God, Alex. Alex, where do I get a vibrator? Adam and Eve, bitches. Alex Well, vibrator should I get Adam Mini bitches. They have thousands of products. You can literally go on, read reviews, go through, pick whatever you want to. Adam and Eve, the best part of staying at home in quarantine, motherfuckers, is fucking playing at home.


Oh, guys, take advantage of the downtime while we're in quarantine. You guys are gonna get to choose almost any one item for just 50 percent off. And then when you do that, you also get free shipping delivered discreetly right to your door. And I sound really nervous. What if my mom sees aortic valve plugs? Don't worry. It's just great bitch. Guys, Ataman, use the shit you guys remember to use offer code. Her daddy, that's her daddy at checkout.


And you guys are gonna get 50 percent off and free shipping guys. Adam and Eve ICOM gather round the campfire.


Gather round, kiddies. I'm about to ruin your fuckin lives. Why? Listen to me. I am about to introduce to you a little segment. And hopefully, hopefully by the end of this, I make one person cry because that means I did my job. I hit you where it hurts and you needed to hear what needed to be fucking said Daddy gang introducing Daddy Diaries. Let me know if you guys like that. I just came up with that and I'm unsure how we feel.


Daddy diaries. Daddy gang. Daddy daycare. What? No, I'm not putting diapers on your assholes, guys. I'm having a daddy gang member on this week and they're going to tell their story and she's asking for advice. And I think I picked this one to ease us in. Okay. It's a very relatable topic. And this lovely, lovely woman has decided that she wants to stay anonymous. So power to her. So everybody introducing. Oh, my God.


What should we call her? Well, she's John Doe because she wants to be Anani, so. Oh, my God. Should we call her Arnie? Arnie, is that you?


Intro to Sir Annie Guest. No. Oh, no, bitch. Okay, Orny hit us.


What is up Daddy gang? I'm 22 years old. I am pretty, pretty straight for the most part.


I would say I wrote in because I need advice on the in-between. I like to call it. I have an issue where either guys are way too obsessed with me and I have no interest in them because them being so into me really turns me off or it goes the other way where I'm really obsessed with a guy and he doesn't want anything to do to me.


So I think this is a big reason why I really haven't found that perfect person, a boyfriend yet. And I just I need help getting out of there. Essentially, what happened when I was working my job, I lived in a complex where there were two apartments, one on top of the other. And the person who lived above me was this very, very handsome man that I did not meet until like eight months into my time in this location.


I saw him here and there. We never said hi, but I met him after after I was coming back from a run. I was disgusting, sweaty at my literal lowest point.


Why does it always happen? And he invited me up for drinks. And that same night, tensions were rising. He might have, you know, got a little frisky, slapped my ass, choked me out a little bit, and we fucked. I wasn't planning on it, but the tension was there.


And so this went on. We would go back and forth. I would go up and fuck. And here's the thing. I knew I was leaving. I knew I was leaving this place to go on a different endeavor and that a relationship would never, ever be possible with him. And I made that clear up front. And I was fine being that girl who lived downstairs who would come fuck him at a wims notice at a moment's notice and then just leaving.


Just getting my booty call. And that's all I wanted. He was cool. I need one more. Okay.


So so far I'm like, yes, bitch, you are setting the guidelines. Your ass is out of there soon. And this is just a hookup situation. Why do I feel like we're about to go downhill now? Okay, continue, Orny.


But here's the thing. He would text me first all the time. He would text me first, talk to me while I worked. I was working from home. This was at the beginning of the pandemic. He would make the effort. And then one day I'm like, oh, I'm stressed.


I'm really stressed at work, this home man. In the middle of the night brings me a teddy bear and flowers. He jumped over, I had a brick wall balcony outside of my house. Granted, it was on the first floor. So easy to get to. But this whole man jumped over my balcony just to bring me flowers and a teddy bear out of nowhere. We were just fuck buddies. I don't know where this came from. Wow.


So after that, I'm like, OK. This is weird. And then he starts going off on the I wish you were stay such a good girl friend. Again, I'm not provoking him in any way. I'm just there to chat, be friends. We're talking about the Black Lives Matter movement or chillen. We're vibin. He's the one putting out all these vibes. So one day I texted him and I worked overnight at my job. I worked long hours, so it was kind of difficult to meet up with him.


So one morning I'm like, let me come over in the morning. Like, I'll suck your dick, like, we'll fuck. Like, I haven't seen you in so long.


Let me just come over late at night. He was like, OK, I can't do tomorrow morning.


Like, I'm really tired. I want to sleep in whatever. Understandable. I get it. My schedule's weird that same night. That's a night this man brings home another girl like I can see them walking up to his apartment from mine. Any fucks. Mind you, I am out work for 12 hours over night listening to this man. Fuck this girl upstairs. And let me preface this by saying when I first met him, I made a joke like, oh, you know, I can hear everything upstairs.


Like, I definitely heard you having sex before we met. Like, he knows. He knows I can hear everything. So he brings this girl home. Mind you, three days after he brings me the teddy bear, three days after he brings me flowers and three days after, he's like, oh, would be such a good girlfriend. I get it. You want your dick wet. But I'm literally ten feet away. Ten feet away. And you have to bring home another girl.


So wait. I wait to see if he messages me afterwards. He doesn't. A few days go by and finally I give in. I'm with my girlfriends and I'm like, I just have to fucking say something because I can't hold it anymore.


Oh, no. Oh no. I'm just pausing right there. I already am like, don't do it.


Why are you about to fuckin say someday it's not your boyfriend. OK, keep going on me.


I message him like, do you want your teddy bear and flowers back.


Oh no. Oh no. Oh I don't even want to hear the rest y okay. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Continue.


Do you want your teddy bear and flowers back. Because apparently you have some other bitch you can give them. Oh my God no they're a gift. Keep them. Why would I want you to take them. And I'm like, well you know, now that I can hear you fucking other girls like I am kind of grossed out like this is nasty.


I figured you would probably hook up with someone else, but I need to hear it, especially when I'm working and, you know, I'm working.


Why do you men do this? Why do they talk all this game, especially when I'm I wasn't the one being clingy, like I wasn't B being like I was in a relationship. Like, I fully was just fine being friends with benefits. And then he was the one to cross these lines and bring me gifts, talk about how I would be such a good girlfriend and then proceeds to bring another girl home.


Okay, hold on, Daddy. I love you. But listen to that statement. You made it clear that you didn't want a relationship and he brought other girls home. Well, let's think about that. What else do you want him to do? And mind you. Days after this. Another girl, a different girl. A few days later, a different girl. And then there's like this same girl coming with her little rat.


White dog. Oh, fuck. She brings the dog in.


They probably fuck say. They walk the dogs.


We can shit somewhere. And then he kisses her goodbye. I'm like, what. What is happening right now? Like, are all these girls getting flowers? Were all these girls getting flowers? What is going on? But essentially the point I'm getting at is why?


Why do men do this? Why do they cross these lines, especially knowing I'm leaving and making me feel some type of way just to fuck it all up. So, Alex, if you end up hearing this, please, I would love to have a discussion about this in between stage. Okay, Daddy gang.


First of all, thank you so much for fucking writing in, because I think that a lot of people can relate to this. I don't want to be discouraging here, but I'm going to walk you through where you're you're a little off on this, OK? You established there was zero percent chance for a relationship. You were moving. You were fuckin Oudeh and you were just down to a bang. Yes. OK, so why the fuck are you getting upset that he was fucking other girls?


Well, Awni says that he was giving her mixed signals. No, he wasn't. This is the thing. When he brought over the teddy bear and the flowers to you, he was making the move. He was making the grand gesture, saying that he was like, oh, you'd be such a good girlfriend had you taken those. And you looked at him and you said, I want to spend my last however many months or days or weeks with you.


I guarantee you no other bitches would have been walking up to his room.


But the fact that you literally took his gift and he felt like a fucking loser creeper for even doing it, you said it yourself. You're like, why is he doing this?


But I think it's also kind of like you got to internally reflect emotionally. It seems like this hurt you, probably because you were a little bit in your field. And that's fine. But look, we all have emotions. That's completely fine. But you got to recognize that you were not giving him anything to work with. So it's like, how much longer did you want him to wait for you to leave? Oh, so he should have waited to start fucking more girls until you left.


Well, why? It's not like you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend or it's not even like you guys were exclusive. You made it clear this is just sex. So I'm confused, when is the part where you guys decided you're only fucking each other? You say that's what you were doing. But then why are you getting mad about him with other girls?


I think Daddy's going this is a an amazing topic, and I'm not trying to shit on you. I just think that saying you're fine with just a fuck, then you have zero right. To ever comment and get but her about him fucking another girl. And I think that when you called him out, that is something daddy getting.


You never call a man out that you're not dating. What. What is that.


If anything, what I would have done is do this psychotic. I think Lindsay Lohan. Did you buy yourself flowers and you buy yourself a teddy bear? Didn't you have it in your apartment and you invite him over and it's different than his. And it's next to his. It's totally placed right. Next. And he's like, oh, you got more. And you're like, oh, yeah. It's from it's from my other friend. And it's like, oh, so there's more men.


Either do that or. What about if you don't give a fuck? Why don't you have another guy over. That is the message. A text message bitching him out. No, no, no. The message is you're getting fucked by another guy. If you wanted to, like, kind of play the game, that would have been it. EUC Oh, you're gonna fuck it. I'm gonna listen to you all night.


Guess what, bitch? I will raise that volume tenfold. You will not be sleeping for the last month that I am in this complex. Mother fucker. Listen to me moan and square on this guy's dick, if that's how you wanted to play it. You totally could've. But instead, you said a really emotionally charged tax. For what? He's not your boyfriend. He doesn't owe you anything. And you made it clear you don't want anything. So why are we even upset?


Daddy, I love you, all right? I'm not trying to ship, but we got to be real. We got to keep it fuckin straight. I'm so happy that you wrote in, though. I hope that gives you some type of clarity. But never and I repeat, never ask a man if he wants his goddamn fucking flowers and teddy bear back then and now. No, no, no. You have a man that you're fucking calm all over the teddy bear and then you leave it and put it out in the fucking trash can.


And when he walks outside and sees the fuckin teddy bear that he bought you covered in fucking come, he'll know you'll get them fucking heads up. All right, Daddy, I love you. Stay Savage. I wish you well on your next endeavor. Let me know if you guys liked hearing from a daddy gang member. Go easy on our daddy gang members. They're easing in. They're getting comfortable. We're getting comfortable.


Okay. Okay. As you guys listen to this podcast, you're probably listening with headphones. Oh, my God, Alex, you've never had a headphone sponsor. Oh, my God. Guess what I do fucking now. Bitches. Guys. Ray Khan is a new sponsor. Listen, if anyone listening to this podcast is looking to get a good deal on wireless earbuds, you guys can get six hours of play time, seamless Bluetooth pairing more bass bonobo and compact design that gives you a nice noise.


Isolating fits. When I'm talking about disgusting things in your ear, it can be right up close. And personal pitch guys. Ray cons, wireless earbuds are very comfortable. I have them. I have a pair for myself. They have multiple colors, which I do like you guys can go to by Ray Khan, dot coms, large daddy and you're gonna get fifteen percent off your order. That's by Ray r a y con c0 n dot com slash daddy.


And you're get 15 percent off Ray Khan wireless earbuds. So it's kind of a really good deal. This is a quick like PSA to everyone listening to my podcast because I feel like I feel like you guys are smart enough to know this. But I just had to say it just for any daddy gang member because I don't want you guys getting Arendelle fucking scammed. There is this thing that influencers are doing and it's really pissing me the fuck off. I'm pretty sure Alexis Rende did it.


And like, I know there's like a bunch of other people doing it. Okay.


Do you see when people in there on their Instagram with millions, millions of followers are like guys? Text me, you can text me, text this number, and we can have like intimate texting conversations. Okay. So I know I shouldn't have to say it, but I just want to say, because it's like really shocking to me that people actually do this. So you're not texting Alexis run like you're not you're not texting Jake. Paul like this is not that's not that's not a thing.


You're literally getting bodied messages and they're using this thing so that they can get your email address and your fucking phone number because they're about to come out with something. So I saw like Alexis Rand do it. And then all of a sudden she came out with that workout plan, so they automatically all of a sudden you have like a fuckin email from them, which again. Listen, you got to hustle and like, you got to make your money and you want to get people's information so you can reach out to them to let them know new dropping shit.


But to do it this way, I'm pretty sure this ren has little like 19 million fucking followers. And she's like, you guys text me, we'll cut. We're going like one on one convos. No, no, you're really not. You're you're never going to talk to Alexi's, right. Do you guys are you are we all on the same page? So everyone listening when your favorite influencers like guys. Text me quick girl chat. I hope people aren't that fucking dumb that they're like guys.


I'm texting Alexis.


Right. This is amazing. And like jacking off to her text messages. So we are. You're not. No, no, no. That's not a number that they ever will be taxing you from. It's someone else. And it's just to get your information.


Tropp. Down, Blair. Lily. Rufus al Exton do questions of the week last week, and I know, I know, Chuck, I know that you all fucking missed it.


Motherfuckers introducing your favorite segment, my favorite segment, all of our favorite fucking thinking, the little thing. I like to think goo goo.


Goo goo is your. So wake us up. Bye bye. Flash John vote, why can't solve by Bob. OK, guys, questions of the week. Hey Daddy. My clit is so sensitive when I'm masturbating so I can never finish it. Can even her after a while from the sensitivity. Can you suggest a technique to help me get off or even a vibrator that would do the trick. Oh sweetie, you've come to the right fucking place.


Yes. I have an amazing, amazing gadget for you. The womanizer, it basically is you hold on to it. And at the top of it, there's this little opening and it blows our air onto your clit and you're supposed to just lightly hold it there. So the lowest, lowest, lowest setting. If you're really sensitive, Claire, would probably be the best for you. And it just light air and it feels really good. Then if you want, you can ramp it up a tiny bit and the air intensifies a little bit.


And then it will also pull, say, a little bit on your clit. And it's really fucking amazing. So if I was you. Yeah. The womanizers, the tits. I have one. And I'd never used it until recently. And I was like, oh, wait. Shit. Like, I love my vibrator, but it's nice to switch it up. And it's like a very different sensation on my clit and I like it. Oh my God, this makes me so sad.


Okay, guys, we have a potential cheating situation. Listen to this story, Daddy. Gang, let me know what you think, because I'm like, oh, I feel so bad for this girl. Okay, this girl wrote it and she goes, help! Something super shy. She happened last night. I was at my boyfriend's house and after we finished having sex, I got out of the bed and on the floor was an unwrapped condom.


We've been dating for over a year, so we don't use condoms anymore, though I do know that they're in a box in his room from the beginning of our relationship. I was obviously like, why the fuck is there a condom on the floor? He came over to me and picked up the condom and coolly walked to the bathroom to throw it out. He held it up and was like, I don't think it's used and tossed it in the garbage.


He was really confused and could not give me an answer as to why it was there. He literally insisted that it wasn't him. I brought it up again and the next day he still insisted that he had no idea where it came from. I asked him if maybe he jerked off with it and was embarrassed or if it was one of his friends just playing a joke. But he insisted, no, I know there is no obvious sign of cheating, but it just seems so unlike him.


It sounds so fucking narcissistic, but I know he really likes me, you know, when you just know that a guy really cares about you. I am so confused. I mean, I try to talk about it or call him out on anything that bothers me. He gets defensive and he just turns the argument around by making me feel bad or calling him out for calling him out. Dear God, help. OK. My initial reaction when reading this story is this is a really bad sign.


So just to quickly clear your suspicions. No one, no guy, he in the world is willingly going to jerk off with a condom on their dick. That's just like that's not the guy's hate. Condoms on their dicks. So if they're alone and they can just not have a con like that's. It's not. We're not. That's never in the equate. OK, so that's not happening. Part two guys friends. OK. Don't joke. Kingly put condoms in their friends rooms on the ground.


That's not really their pastime. It's not really something guys think to do is like a funny joke, especially if their friend has a girlfriend. OK, so it's just not really. That's OK. We covered. The fact that it was unwrapped. If it was just on the ground and it was in the package that we would be having a different conversation. The fact that it was unwrapped. Why would a fucking condom be on the ground opened? It literally makes no sense.


I think that the biggest red flag is that he is being super defensive and won't have a conversation about it.


I. It's so menor so dumb, but men are so fucking easy to read sometimes with this shit. If he hadn't if he was not trying to avoid this conversation, he would be like, babe. I literally have no idea. I am so fucking sorry. Like what? You think I cheated? I didn't. I swear on my life. You can go through my phone. You can go through everything on God. I didn't cheat on you.


He's not doing that. So I feel so bad to say this, but I think he's cheating on you. I if I were you because you found literally evidence right there, I would ask him if you could see his phone. And if he's like, no, fuck you, like, literally get out of my fucking face. You have your answer there. And also, I am so sorry I even asked you to ask for his phone. I literally disgusted with myself that I even just told you to ask for the phone.


The phone will have nothing. You sit on the bed and you say, I think you're cheating on me and I need proof that you're not. Because I don't believe you for a second. And then you pull out his iPod and you tell him to open it right then and there. You say open your iPod right now and hand it to me. And if you don't, this relationship is over.


And I promise you, he's gonna turn white as a ghost because I've done this to a guy before and I'm so sorry. But you're probably going to see exactly who that condom was being used on. And he honestly, since it didn't look like it was used, he probably fuckin took it off mid fuck and just kept fucking her.


Oh, my God, I hate this. I'm so fucking sorry. You deserve better. But anybody listening to this. If you found a sign like this and you are sick to your stomach and you don't know what to do. You can not continue to have this in the back of your mind and wonder if they're cheating. This is kind of interesting. OK. Daddy, Alex, my two best guy friends always talk about how they want to Eiffel Tower a girl together before they graduate college.


And I really want that girl to be me. Any tips on how to be Eiffel Tower? I have one year to make this happen, and I wanted to be the best sex they've had in their life. OK.


So this is interesting. I think that if you are there, like lady friend and your two guy friends, I mean it. Go ahead and say that they have no fucking idea that you want to do this. You listen to them talking about this and most girls would be like, you guys are fucking gross. Stop it. So the fact that you're like, I want to be the girl, I want it to be me, choose me, pick me.


I think what you do is you. I'm sorry, but like not to condone alcohol, but you need to be fucked up kind of for this. OK. Like you guys need to be drinking. Especially that you're friends. You're not doing his leg. Eifel Tower situation sober, OK? So you hang out with them solo. Just you guys and have a good drinking night. Play some games. Have the lights down. Set the mood. And then you need to say something along the lines of like, you know, it's really funny.


I know you guys always sabl that your goal and I've always wanted to be that girl. And then you can any to initiate it. And maybe you go in and start hooking up with one of them. The thing is, is that neither of those guys is gonna initiate this with you. You're literally their friend. They're not thinking like you're gonna be down. But what I can tell you is there's no way that they wouldn't be down with you.


So you got to be the one to initiate. And then. And then enjoy. I mean, that's kind of. Let me know how it goes. I'm interested. Okay.


Oh, this is a good one. Okay. So I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and I can count on one hand how many times he's gone down on me. I constantly give him ahead whenever he wants. I even wake him up in the middle of the night or in the morning by giving him head. I've brought it up a couple times, but nothing really changed. Is there something I should do or do I throw the whole man away?


Oh, bitch. You're right. You get rid of them. Okay. Oh, let me think about this. I feel like it's so weird to me if a man expects his dick to get sucked. Then why the fuck do you not think that me. You need to put your head down there and go to town on my clit. Like, I just don't. It doesn't it doesn't really make sense to me. So if I were you. Me.


Think about this. OK, here she comes. Crazy, Alexx. This is what I would do. You say you've brought it up before and nothing's changed. So now you've got to ramp it up and torture this man. Start. Almost like initiating sex, and you start to literally go down to give him head. OK. And right when his dick is hardest, fuck, you're only going to lick the tip a little bit like the old Timit T's like lightly lick on the tip of his dick, kiss it even just a kiss.


Because guys will go crazy. Then stop. Look up and say, never mind. And then get up and walk out. And he's going to be like, What the fuck? And you're gonna be like, I don't get mine, so you don't get yours. I guess it's going to be sex from now on. And then just walk the fuck out. He is going to get the message, I promise you. Then if he isn't heard you sometimes, you know, men have selective hearing.


We can talk a lot. They don't really hear much. But I promise you, if your mouth is about to go down on his dick and you stop midway and get the fuck up and leave that guy with his hard dick in his own fucking hand, he is going to look at you and be like, bitch, lay down. I'm going to fucking eat your pussy because there is no way. If he enjoys your head, there is no fucking way he's going to allow the head game to stop just because he is not giving you yours.


Because it's not like you're asking for something crazy. You're literally trying to you're asking for something fair. Okay. It's like you get yours. I should get mine. Sex is mutual. But like, why am I not getting any fucking head? You're getting hey, why mine? I had my clits more important than your fucking stupid dick. All right, Daddy. Gang, that is it for this week. Boom, boom, boom. We're back in action.


I have some very exciting shit coming up. Potentially a little trip to potentially go have some gas on the fuckin show. I'm excited. I think it's interesting because I want to mix in daddy gang and I want to mix in other people. And I'm not even I don't even want to have, like, celebrities on the show. I'm looking at people that I can find that are going to bring something to this show for the daddy gang. Like I want to know when I'm going into these interviews that this person is going to connect with you guys in some way and like you're going to leave having felt something from the episode.


I'm not just gonna fucking have, like, J. Lo on to have J. What the fuck would J. Lo say on the show? No. No offense to Jaylo, your amazing girlfriend, but like, you know what I mean.


So I'm so excited, too, because I have officially moved in to my apartment. I've never had sex in this apartment, so I'm enough to christen it. And who am I going to christen it with? That is the biggest fucking question of my life. Maybe it will be the man because he is coming to town soon. So I will keep you guys updated on that. I love you guys. Go follow me on social media. Alexander Cooper.


Go follow. Call her daddy. Call her daddy. Daddy. BOP, bop, bop, bop. Be OK.


I love you guys so much. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.