What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Misha Barton, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

I'm so happy we're finally doing this. I know. We've wanted to do this for so long, and our schedules have been shit, and we're finally here. We're on the couch. We're cozy. We're ready to go.

We're doing it.

So Daddy Gang, we're currently in New York, which is where you You grew up and where you really got your start. Do you plan on staying here long term? Is New York it for you?

I love New York. I just feel more at home here. I mean, this last year, since we first started I'm talking. I've been spending a lot of time in London and Europe again. But I get those vibes when I'm in New York, and I get the culture. I started in the theater. I love being able to go to the theater all the time and hang out in the cute little book shops. And I love the village where I live. It's romantic and cute. It is.

It's magical. I used to live here, and every time I come back, I'm like, I miss you.

You're an East Coast girl, right?

Yeah, Pennsylvania. But you were born in London?

Yes. No, I was born in London, and then we moved to New York when I was five and a half. So I actually had a little British accent and the whole thing when I was a kid and had to lose it. I got teased mercilessly in school.

Was that actually a good thing sometimes times for work? Would they be like, do a British accent and you could or do an American and you could?

Yeah, I still do. I mean, I'm very grateful for it because when I went to, they had to send me to a speech coach to get a proper trans-Atlantic accent.

They're like, be a Valley Girl, bitch. You're like, what?

Oh, God. Well, that's really hard. Believe it or not, that's more complicated. It took living in LA for years to be able to understand what that even was because I only moved to LA for the O-C. They would always be like, Can you sound more like you're from the valley or more Orange County? And I was like, I don't actually... I've never been to Orange County. I don't actually know what that is.

You know it's weird, though, listening to you talk, you're so right. You have this eloquent tiny twang underneath, and it is clearly from that English background. You got a great voice. Going back to the beginning, what were you like as a kid? Going back to the beginning, What were you like as a kid?

I was pretty serious and very shy at first. So I was painfully shy and awkward, I guess. Not very, but very serious.

When we think of actors and actresses, I feel like people that can't relate are always like, oh, my gosh, they're the most outgoing. And then I feel like every time I speak to an actor, they're like, no, I'm insecure. I was trying to find my voice. So acting helped. How did you then find yourself putting yourself in these situations?

I got into it by... I didn't want to do any of the outdoor activities at camp, so I wrote this monolog. And then that was what you all had to perform something or show what you'd been doing all summer at camp. And so my big sister had been horseback riding and doing all this stuff, and I was just sitting there writing. And I performed the monolog, and then I guess someone's parent in the audience was an agent at a literary agency here in New York and was like, Oh, well, she should definitely get into acting. So I tried it. And yeah, the rest is history.

When I think about child actors, I always am like, Okay, I can't imagine your social life in school school. But was your experience like, you were the cool kid in school, or were you getting bullied, or was you were just fitting in?

I was always a bit on the outside. I only had one best friend, and I was friends with a lot of the boys. But it was always me and this girl, Laura Katzmann. It was just the two of us, and we were outsiders. We were considered a bit like, yeah, Gothic, a bit weird, a bit off the bean. So we weren't popular, no. That definitely wasn't the case. And I got teased once the Sixth Sense and stuff came out, and the kids realized that I was in movies, then I got teased. And I did not want to be homeschooled. They tried, and I thought that tooth and nail. I just acted up until they sent me back to school. I just didn't want to be stuck at home with my sister and taken away from that social... It was so important to me to have some semblance of a normal... I enjoyed school. I really genuinely enjoyed learning. And I didn't want to become that weirdo kid who was isolated, who had no social interaction. Right.

You're like, Let me be gothic with my one friend in the cafeteria, mom. Let me live, okay?

That was important to me.

So after high school, you had plans to go to Yale.

There was an early acceptance to the drama program, which I wanted to do.

That's a huge deal. And then you decided not to go.

I got cast in the OC when I was It was right at that pivotal moment where it was going to affect the rest of your life. And I fought it originally. I didn't really want to do it, but I flew out and I did an episode on another series, a different series that McGee was doing. And basically everyone was like, You have to take this opportunity. You have to because it's a big role and it's a life-changing thing.

Do you ever look back at that decision and question I mean, yeah, but I'm still like that.

I live near NYU. Every day I walk by, I'm like, Oh. I used to sit in the back of some of my friends lectures and classes that were going to Columbia and NYU and stuff. I I mean, I was obsessed with school culture and learning. I really enjoyed it.

I'm going to walk past NYU tomorrow and I'm like, Is that Misha? You're sitting in the classes.

Yeah, but I find it fascinating. My big sister, she's so smart. She studied law, politics, economics. She went to the University of Edinburgh in the end. But I don't know. I was always very jealous of that. But it always didn't sit well with me that I didn't get to do university, that I didn't get to go to college.

So we talk about the OC. We got to get into it. You mentioned you obviously took that instead of going to college. Obviously, the OC was this phenomenon that I don't know if anyone expected it, but it is still iconic to this day. People still talk about it. Covid, everyone's rewatching it. New people are finding the show. I'm curious, did you have any idea that it was going to be as big as it was?

Not really, no. I think the first time that we realized was when we went to the first premiere episode of it. And we literally thought that that whole crowd was there for something else. I remember we were all riding in the same van together, and we looked over and we were like, What's that? And they were like, No, that's So it was the premiere for your show. That's where you were going.

You were obviously the youngest of everyone, basically, on that cast. You were 17 at the time, and everyone was in their 20s, 30s, 40s. What was the dynamic initially like with you and your cast mates, you being 17?

Well, I think it was a bit tricky for everyone because I was experiencing all of my firsts, and I was so young, and my mom would be on set, and And yeah, I just needed a lot more attention in that sense because I had my mom there and there was stuff going on, and I was just finishing up school. And so it was a lot of my firsts, let's put it like that. And that really separated me a little bit from them in the sense that I wasn't out there living on my own in LA yet.

I didn't realize that the romantic partner that you had on your on screen relationship with the character Ryan Atwood with Marissa, you being 17 at the time, I didn't realize he was 25. And so, again, as a 17-year-old playing across a 25-year-old, that's a pretty big age gap How did you feel about that romantic on-screen relationship?

Yeah, it wasn't just on-screen either. I mean, it was complicated for me because like I said, I went into that like a virgin, like a kid, really feeling I needed to grow up quickly to portray. Acting with people older than me was a bit like, Oh, wow. They know what they're doing, and there's going to be relationships on this show, and you're going to need to play that part. And I didn't feel really ready for that because I was always a really late bloomer in school, and I hadn't really dated. And I just had no idea what I was doing, really. So I felt like I needed to catch up, I think, a lot of the time.

So you had a relationship with your castmate?

Yeah. I mean, that was my first... I had no idea what I was doing. And I think that set things off on the wrong foot, too, because it was like, people hook up on these shows and whatever, and these things happen. But we threw ourselves all into it very fast. And then when you break up and things don't work and they see you dating other people, and notoriously, there There was a lot of interdating on that show and different people getting together. But it definitely was tricky that it happened right out of the gate and that I felt overwhelmed and not ready for any of that. They were also... I remember they were like, Misha's disappeared with Ben, and she's only 17 and a half, 18. And the producers went to my parents and were like... It was a whole deal. And so that's in the very beginning of the show before we're even halfway through a season. So there was a lot going on there. That show, it just so much happened in three seasons. It really feels like it was over the course of seven years or something, but it wasn't. It was all crammed into this tiny little space.

I didn't understand how much, and I'm not saying this happened in your case, but I didn't understand how much directors are really promoting. Yes, Yes, hang out together and be together. It works for chemistry. But was that your case where they supported it?

Yeah. I mean, it felt like a double-edged sword because exactly what you said, they're like, Oh, we want it to seem like you guys are all friends and that you have chemistry, and we need this to really work and make it look like you guys have this chemistry. And then you get punished for it on the flip side. And they're like, oh, but not so much that it affects our production or what's going on here. And there's nothing you can really do about that because it's too late. I feel like when I was that young, so in first relationships, you just know what you don't want, you don't know what you do want. And so you panic and try to... It was definitely a tricky balance to strike.

How did you emotionally and mentally handle a dynamic where you still have to see someone every day and be cordial?

Well, I mean, yeah, we just had to suck it up and get on with it. But there was a lot of jabs behind the scenes and off camera. I felt like that ostracized me as well because there was a market difference in maturity level there. And so it was... Yeah, I don't know what to say about it. We got through it. A lot of jokes. I really loved our crew, and I did feel that they were really there for us and that it was like a family, and that part was positive. I remember Rachel was saying to me recently, she looks back at the scene where we're all playing chicken in the pool and stuff. And it's like, those were genuinely happy moments where we could forget about all the pressure that was on us. And it was really hard because you would be out getting photographed with different people. I did start dating. And then you try not to bring that on set when people are, you just try to let it go at the door and get on with it and keep working.

Did you end the relationship?

Yeah. I think one of those things you're so young, you realize, I'm not ready for this. I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's overwhelming.

Yeah. Overwhelming and just too close to home. It would be a very tricky thing to keep going on set. And I think Adam and Rachel, we all experienced that in some form or another. But again, I just felt not mature enough, younger than them in that sense. I had not dated before, and I was not aware of. I think he was really angry with me to begin with. I felt the punishment of that. I felt that from the producers as well, that they were not happy about that. But there was such great chemistry between the characters. I think people did fall in love with them because there was genuine friendship and love there on some level.

Such a good point. I remember when I had Rachel on my show and we talked about her and Adam and the chemistry between the cast, the core four, it was overwhelming for people, and we romanticized it so much. And I could imagine, you're right, ending relationships like Adam and Rachel at one point, it was so heightened.

But that sexual tension was there. It reads, even when you're looking the scenes on the Ferris wheel and stuff, and I think we hated each other at that point, but there was still this intense tension there. And so it really worked for the show.

Can I ask if You lost your virginity when you were filming The Oasis? Is that what you were-Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I had no idea about relationships at all or sex. And so it was just a whole learning curve for me.

You had mentioned there was bullying on set in an interview. And I'm curious if you can talk about that a little bit as being in that position. How do you deal with that?

There was just back talk between people. I think I heard you say this in one of your interviews. It's typical that in these sets where not everybody is going to get along. And even with the secondary characters and guest stars and people who came in, there are going to be clashes. There are going to people who are going to create rumors and make stuff up. And I think I was just very sensitive to that because I was so young and finding out that maybe people were talking about you behind your back, because I was particularly sensitive to that. It felt like high school, but in the real world and very elevated and very magnified.

Totally. Marissa, the character you played was the It Girl. She's partying. She can get all the boys. She's got the family drama. She's getting into trouble. I'm curious, did you relate to anything that she was going through?

I found those places in her, I guess. I mean, I started to more and more. I think that's why they wrote so much drama for her in there, the relationship with her parents and stuff, because that was the stuff that I could... I felt that emotional turmoil and angst in my life going on outside of the show. And so it It was easier for me to play into that. And so I did start... You can't help but start to relate to your character. When you're playing somebody day in and day out, there is this bizarre emergence of the two. And even my social life outside of the show took on a very weird turn with me dating a typical rich LA kid. And because of the Fame and the paparazzi and stuff, it all took on a weird turmoil around. So the character ended up like, that's what we played up in her as well, because I really was going through a lot of growing pains and coming into my own. And so the things I related to most was her inner turmoil.

You leave at the end of season three. It's still to this day is like one of, I feel like, the most heartbreaking moments on TV. Your character dies. How did you decide- Spoiler alert. Okay. By the way, if Are you watching on TikTok? Turn this off. I'm like, So Marissa dies. How did you decide to leave the show? Was it your decision?

That's complicated. Things had not been going. They really needed a huge Cliffhanger. Something had to give, something had to change. And to be really honest, I think as Josh and Stephanie were writing it, they knew they needed something huge. And the obvious thing was, how much more can we really do with Marissa? Really, what more can she do? She's experienced with drugs, her sexuality. And they'd written so many things, and they were such quick succession of arcs that she was a character that was spiraling out of control. And at the same time in my life, I was getting so much attention, and there were other things going on, people trying to write other roles for me, and I would not be released from the show. I could not go do anything else. So even Stan Lee was writing a comic book character for me. There was no way that they were going to let me out to go do anything outside of the show because that's just how it is. And so I think it was the obvious choice, the friction just between my team at the time and them and how I did seem to be the most alienated one and a bit of a fish out of water.

I think it was an obvious choice. I don't know. I mean, Josh and Stephanie have their own ideas of how they ended it, and they say that they regret a lot of how they did handle it. But I thought it made the most sense for her to go out with a bang. She wasn't really a character that I thought she just fade off into oblivion or ride off into the sunset. She had to go somewhere, and I felt like that was the right thing for her.

Do you remember remember the feeling of when the world saw that scene? Did you pay attention to how many people were so devastated? Were you overwhelmed?

Yeah, it was crazy. I had people crying in airports to be like, People come up to me off the street and be like, Can I hug you? People wanted to physically touch me. They were just very concerned about what had happened with the character. Because they're like, You're alive. It really upset people, and especially upset young girls, and rightfully so. I mean, it should. She had taken it too far. But all the best characters do. And all the best characters have some huge tragedy. This is a bit final, but just a bit.

When you went on the OC Rewatch podcast with the girls, I remember watching you. You looked upset when you were watching that final scene. You were like, Oh, my God.

Well, I haven't watched it, maybe ever, actually.

Is there a reason?

Well, I never sat down and watched the show as it was airing. It was not something so A lot of it I hadn't seen. And that one in particular, I hadn't seen it since we shot it. And I forgot so much about it, the fact that there's no music. There is really a choice because the show was so music-driven. And that whole thing is just like, silent. And then the flames in the car, I didn't remember it being quite that dramatic, the way the car is actually on fire.

Oh, girl, it was dramatic. You had me in tears. And then Alleluia starts playing, and then you're like... But when you watched it and you were like, Okay, let's turn this off. It's going to get emotional. What did it bring up for you seeing that scene? Because it felt like you were upset.

We were upset on set that day. A lot of the crew were really sorry to see me go, and they were pretty upset. And it was a lot of goodbyes and putting on a brave face about the whole thing. But basically, I mean, I would always make light of everything. And we were like, more blood, more drama. But it was a sad time because we were sorry to leave each other. They really were like a family to me. A lot of the guys and the heads of department on that show were really there for me through tough times.

How would you describe that time of your life, after the OC?

It was an intense time. It was because I think the thing that I hadn't really wrapped my head around was the amount of worldwide fame that show actually got. And so there wasn't anywhere to really hide. And I think what overwhelmed me was I was doing all these campaigns. And there were times when I only had a few days off in the year. There was a lot of friction at home. There was really no place for me to go that felt calm. And there was just a lot of pressure being put on me by people who expected the most out of me constantly. And so I never really... There were some years there where there was only maybe two days off the year, and I didn't... And what really got me would be going to somewhere like Australia or wherever you would think would be the middle of nowhere, and then still having pictures surface of you. It felt like I could never really get away from anything, and I had no privacy.

The paparazzi were absolutely obsessed with you. It was insane. Can you talk about some of the details of the way that they would try to get to you to really embody what you were going through?

It was dangerous most of the time and also just extremely invasive. I mean, the lengths that they would go to to tap phones and conversations and find out where you were going and track your car and stuff. I mean, the lengths they went to were pretty absurd.

I think I read somewhere you said something like, they would give homeless people people phones?

No, they really did. They would give people in the Malibu, like country Martin stuff and people on Rodeo. They would give random people phones, and they would say, If you ever see a celebrity show up, I'm the first person you should call. I'll give you 50 bucks, 100 bucks, whatever it is. If you tip me off that you see Misha or Nicole or any of these girls coming down here to go shopping or go to lunch. That way they wouldn't have to sit there all day and wait themselves in the car. Lazy bucks.

Lazy A piece of shit. You couldn't just wait there yourself. I mean, that's just insane. And you're right. It was a different time. And I think maybe with social media now, there's just more access, so it's less intense.

You can't get away with the same level of invasion of privacy. And you're right. It's better. I think people have lived and learned the nice thing about social media is and the way it is now, you can give access to what you want to give access to. And so if you share more, then there's less of this insane wall to try to get behind. So they're not literally scaling the walls to celebrity's homes anymore because you're in there posting about your life and you're sharing more about your personal life. And so it doesn't have that hence the stakes aren't so high.

You, I think, had said at one point, someone on your team around you started to give you prescription drugs. When did that start happening? And how did that happen?

It was happening even towards the end of the OC.

Someone on your team around you started to give you prescription drugs. When did that start happening? And how did that happen?

It was happening even towards the end of the OC. It was put into the contract I had to have a sober coach with me. And so then I was being watched 24/7. But it was still very popular in those days to still be prescribing Xanax and things for whatever. If you were under a lot of duress or stress, they'd be like, This is what you need to do to get through it. And it was just being constantly told what to do by people every second and micromanaged in every single way. And I think that that just It just became, I don't think it did become overwhelming for me. And it wasn't like there never really was a proper break. There was never really a moment. And I remember coming back home, they were very concerned. I walked into my house And there was 10 guys in suits all sitting around talking to me. I was like, what is this? And they were like, Well, you have to go do a project in two weeks. Are you going to be ready? So it just all started compounding.

You're the men in suits were there to...

It was just people from all over, the agency, producers. People really wanted to know that I was going to be performing and doing the schedule that they expected me to stick to. I don't think you could really do that with actors now. Now, if you say to somebody, I'm not doing well, or there are trigger words that you can wear Where they're like, Okay, well, we have to leave this person alone. She needs a few days off or she needs some time to herself. That wasn't the case then. I've listened to other actors talk about that, too, where they were like, I mean, it's a big deal when you're helming a whole show and everybody's jobs are relying on you and situations like that.

That's an interesting point, mental health-wise. No one was having conversations the way that they were now. Because all I'm thinking about is anyone asking you, Misha, are you okay? Do you need a break? And instead everyone's like, How are we going to get you out the door the next day? Take this pill. Everybody's here. You're making us all money, so let's go out the door. That's a lot of responsibility and a lot of weight to put on a young girl that's been doing this for so long. At the beginning of this interview, I'm like, you're 10 when you get your first movie. Your mom, your relationship with your mother. At one point, you did fire her as your manager. What was Was the dynamic that led to that? And then how did you get back to a relationship?

It just wasn't healthy. And I mean, it's still like, in my life, I've really learned to prioritize my chosen family and the people who have really actually been there for me. I don't rely on any one particular family member anymore. I've learned that for my own happiness and those relationships, I think in life, to be honest, are the most toxic because you feel like you can say or do whatever you want to somebody because you're related. And I found that those have been the hardest for me to really understand. So I mean, I'm completely independent now, and I do everything for me. And it's led to my sobriety and happiness. And I've had to watch other people crumble, and it's been hard to watch. But I'm just grateful that I've been able to find the people in my life who have been there for me consistently and consistently shown up for me. And so that's led to where I am now, which It was healthy and sober and happy. But unfortunately, I've had to lose a lot of family members along the way. And there are people in this industry who understand that there are a lot of people.

It's unfortunate, but It's sometimes the reality of the world is that.

I think it's a good point, though. And I think I've talked about that on my show before. The word family is so just by the way that you define it. It doesn't have to be blood and you can make your own family. And the family that you're born into, it doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean anything. It's like, if you're not getting treated correctly, then you need to adjust your relationships and you need to reevaluate. And just because blood doesn't mean you have to stay and you have to, of course, we're going to fight for things to a certain degree, but when it's so unhealthy. Seeing things online of potentially family members stealing money from you, how do you get to a place where you can be in relationships moving forward and trust people from previous things that have been so heartbreaking and happening to you?

Yeah, there has been a lot of heartbreak. I think that for me, the thing that is I have to really concentrate on myself because it sounds cliché, but unless you love yourself and love you and can spend the time with you, you're the person you have to answer to and nobody else. And I've had other people I've been stolen from and lied to in so many different ways over the course of the last 10, 15 years, especially. And it's only in the last two, three years, even maybe, that I I feel like I have really taken responsibility for it and for myself and been like, You know what? The only thing that I can do is just be happy, healthy, and sober, and working out. And that's the only thing that's really going to make my life worth living. Because I had given up for a while there. I just felt so... I don't know. I don't know. It makes me emotional because I felt really really alone. It really has been just cutting people out of my life, truly.

Thank you for sharing that, because I can imagine it's so hard when you're talking about your family and you're talking about literally getting stolen from. You're like, how do you... That's something that is like, you couldn't feel more. How could you feel not alone? The people that you usually would turn to to be like...

Yeah. I think that I have to believe that in life everybody does things thinking they're doing it for the right reason and maybe with good intentions. But sometimes there isn't always good intentions. And sometimes you can't really explain why people do what they do. And yeah, it's a tricky one. And I think in family, especially, it's a tricky one. And you can just minimize your contact with those kinds of people and moving forward, be careful about... Because I can tend to be a very open and trusting and naive person for a long time there. And I had it happen repeatedly to me in both relationships as well, people using me. And so I realized that, yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe I That wasn't the best judge of character for a while there. And to stop making excuses for other people, because I think for a long time, I was making excuses because you don't want to believe that somebody would...

Of course. I'm curious, Misha, when you were alone in those moments, how did you keep going? Because I'm trying to put myself in your shoes of knowing the closest people to you are just completely abandoning you. There's no trust. You're getting stolen from. How did you keep even going?

I mean, a lot of therapy and a lot of just cutting people out and working on myself and strength comes at the darkest times. I mean, I found my strength. And when I was younger, I didn't think I I thought I was going to be dead by 27. I was going to be part of that 27 club. It was live young and fast. I really didn't give a shit. I was reckless. I was over it. I I didn't really want to be doing stuff for other people anymore. I didn't want to be the person that everybody needed to be making the money and doing the this and the that. And then I think when I got to my 30s and I was like, Shit, I'm still here. I'm still going, and I'm stronger than I was then. And I've been through so much, and these experiences haven't killed me, and they've made me so much stronger. And I've been to court. I've fought for my rights. I've fought for my And when you get past that and out on the other side, then your whole perspective on life and everything changes because you're like, I am strong.

I'm strong. And I used to get so upset with people because they'd be like, you're the strongest person I know. And that really felt like an insult after a while because it just felt like, well, why do all these things keep happening to me? But it's true. I mean, you really do, when the chips are down, find that strength in yourself. I know. Yeah.

I mean, I'm so sorry because I can't imagine being at a place where you are almost aware that the end could be near for yourself because of what's happening in your life.

Well, I romanticized all of that rock and roll. I had made up my mind that it wasn't going to... Yeah, that there was no real longevity in it for me, that I just didn't care to keep going. And then, yeah, like I said, I think just I can't stand injustices in life. And I really can't stand when people do take advantage of people. And I think that's where the strength That's where it really came from is just like, you know what? I'm not going to take this. And yeah, fuck that. I'm not going to sit by and watch these people do that.

Talking about that time in your life where it I was romanticizing it. It was like, fuck this. So in 2007, you were arrested for a DUI, and a few years later, you were held in a psychiatric hospital. Behind closed doors, what was happening with you at that point?

Well, the DUI, I don't really know what to say about that. It was what it was. It was a straight up, we were out one night, and it was stupid. Got a DUI. The psychiatric stuff, that was just having a full-blown breakdown. I mean, that time, it was really... I was drug. Somebody had slipped me roofies, and it was GHP, and I'm lucky to be alive. I mean, I just happened to be I overdosed. And so there was so many things that other people did to me that felt so aggressively wrong. And I don't think that I realized how dangerous that seedy side of LA can be. And I had been really protected and sheltered for a long time. And when I got out there and the like, and I was like, I want to live my life. I want to be a normal person, whatever that means, and go to these parties, go do this stuff. And then it's like, You end up in a situation like that. So, yeah, I mean, you really do. You live and you learn. I just had a full blown breakdown from that.

When I heard you say, it was so annoying hearing people say, you're so strong, you're so strong. You're like, but why does this all have to keep fucking happening to me?

It was just hard people saying that. I mean, even my boyfriends and all my friends around me would constantly say that. But I didn't feel as strong as I think I was coming across. I do have this British thing of, suck it up, just move on. Don't show your feelings. Just try to keep a good exterior to you. It's only in the last few years that I really feel that from the inside out. For a long time, I didn't really feel that strength to the degree that I do now.

I was thinking about when you're saying people basically taking advantage of you. In 2017, one of your ex-boyfriends you found out had filmed you when you were having sex and was going and trying to shop the tape. Can you take me back to the moment where you realized that even existed and what you were going through?

It was a disaster. It was an absolute fucking nightmare. But I don't like to go back there. But I will tell you, it was shady. Boys who live together in a house, probably red flag. Too many computers, red flag. The whole thing was just in hindsight, red flags everywhere. But I mean, in the bathroom, in the living room, the whole just constant... Yeah, it was bad. You had no idea? No idea. Absolutely no idea. Somebody actually showed it to me, and I was like, one of his friends came to me and warned me. And I didn't think it was possible that some of that was real. And it was. And apparently, he was even caught saying to somebody, he knew that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton and all these people had sex tapes and that I was one of the only girls who wouldn't... And if you know me, I'm very private and really prudentish when it comes to sexual relationships and what I share. And so that was just like, I mean, I thought my world was ending. It was literally the worst thing that anybody could do to me. I mean, forget all the other things that people have done to me.

That for me was like, no, I cannot go on if this person manages to do this to me. And so I was at a friend's house in the Hollywood Hills, I remember, and she woke me up and she was like, oh, my God, there's a rumor going around that there is footage. And I was like, Of what? What can it possibly be? That was a whole crazy experience. I became my own detective, and I went to the LAPD, and I was constantly contacting the sex crimes. I did my own surveillance of him and his friends, found him. So I had to turn into a full-blown vigilante there for a minute.

And did you- Glad I did. Absolutely. When you found also out, did you have a conversation with him? Did you not speak to him again?

God, no. No. I mean, he disappeared. He upped in. I mean, it was already over. It was just a two-week thing. And so he I had already gotten what he wanted. He was long gone. I had to track him and his friends down. And I mean, yeah, it was like a nightmare going into court, getting all these restraining orders, constantly showing up for over a year, like a year and a half, over a long period of time. And if I hadn't had the support I'd had from lawyers and from other women who were more aware of it. And there was no real laws at the time. Like the LAPD were like, oh, we deal with stuff like Yeah, we know this stuff goes on. But I'll never forget walking into the police station and giving them the address of the house where I thought most of it happened. And they brought it up on the... And the cop turns the computer around and he goes, is that him? And he was actually there on Google Maps in front of the apartment building with his dog. And I was like, I mean, when I say the detective in me came out.

You have no idea.

You're like, Let's go get this mother You have no idea. So did you date this guy for two weeks?

Yeah, it was just a two week fling. Shocking what goes through people's minds, where they see opportunity, isn't it?

It's just so sick how it happens. Any woman listening, if they are going through this, it is not your fault. It is illegal, and it's a crime. I'm curious when everything that's just you've been through in your life, are you resentful at all?

No. I mean, there are people that I look back on and I'm like, I definitely can't stand them. I'm glad that they're not in my life anymore. And I blame them for some of the things that went on around that time period. But no, I mean, I don't think you can be resentful in life. I think I still have, I like to think, a great sense of humor about things and like to be... I keep things very light-hearted, and I keep my chosen family very close, and the family that I do choose to speak to, very close. And you can't be resentful in life. It's all over if you're going to get like that. You may as well be dead. What's the point? You can't sit around and hate people for the things that happen. You have to learn and grow and mature from those situations and evolve. I mean, life is one big learning curve. Nerve and story. And so all you can do is learn and grow. And I'm actually very grateful for that. In the bigger picture, it's definitely made me who I am today.

If you could say something to yourself when you were at that point where you had the mentality of, Fuck it, I'll be in the 27 Club. What do you wish you could say to Misha now?

You're going to be here 10 years later sitting on a couch talking I'm not talking to Alex Cooper about it. So get your shit together now.

You're going to be alive and thriving and happy and healthy, and it's all going to come together.

Because you don't see it at the time when you're in it. You just feel so overwhelmed. Totally. And depression is real. And it takes a while for the serotonin and the happiness to level out and for you to come back from these situations. And it's not an overnight... But then But it's like, strangely, one day it will be like a switch gets flicked. It is so weird? It is weird.

It's like you look back when you're talking about it. I have moments in my life, too, where I was going through some or whatever. And then one day, you're just making coffee and you're like, oh, my God.

I'm not that person at all anymore. I don't know, because when I was in it, I couldn't barely even see a pinpoint of a light at the end of the tunnel. And now here I am, and it's like, I'm not even in the tunnel.

You're Bitch, the tunnel is nowhere to be found. Okay? It's gone. It's so gone. It's gone. Are you dating? Are you in a relationship? Are you single? Are you dating? Are you in a relationship? Are you single? What are we doing?

I'm single at moment, and I love it. Oh my God. I love it. I really, truly have just been working on myself, and I fucking love it. It's great. I don't have to answer to anybody. I feel very happy and sober and clear and I can be healthy. Because I will fall into... It'll all happen when I fall in love again, I fall hard and fast, and then I'm almost codependent with that person. So I hope moving forward, if I want anything from my relationships, it's that they aren't so intense.

I do feel like what I've learned, though, is that's also just we're talking about all these different stages of your life. And something I learned about myself is I had a similar experience. I was like, God, these relationships are so heavy and so intense. And then the more I worked on myself and the more that I became the best version of myself. And it sounds like you're just in this place of clarity and you're like, Pilates and yoga and sobriety, bitch.

You You are fully focused on yourself. You don't give off those vibes. Guys don't feel like they can control you like that. Yeah, exactly. Because without even knowing it, you are giving off vibes that you need to be babied or you need to be taken care of in some way, I think. Totally. Even though you feel like you're acting so independent.

But it's different. You will attract someone completely different in this new stage of your life just because you also see yourself differently. I mean, even think about what you were feeling about yourself before '27. And then now you're like, oh, my God, these are different people.

I mean, yeah, that person never would have considered settling down, never would have considered marriage, kids, anything. None of that would have even been... I'd have been like, oh, hell no. But Yeah, things change.

So you said you would consider yourself like, Are you a romantic? Yeah, Valentine's Day. Misha brought me literally a nice little Teddy bear and a little rose.

Well, you're engaged. And I was like, Oh, you have to spend Valentine. And I hate that that word, Galentine's. But I was like, Okay, so... It's such an annoying word, isn't it? But anyway, I was like, If we're doing Valentine's Day, you need a Teddy bear and a rose.

Let me be so clear. I cannot explain to you how happy I am that I'm spending Valentine's Day with you. Truly, this episode, I already know, is one, going to help so many women, and two, we're Misha fans over here, okay? We fucking love you. If you do start dating again, what is your approach to dating and what are you looking for?

Oh, man. I don't know. I think, again, with that, I went through phases where I really wanted to date musicians and be on tour. Misha. Yeah, exactly. Those days are over. That's not attractive to me anymore. I don't want to be with the guy in a band. I don't... I mean, never say never, but it's not really my thing. I've moved on from all of that stuff, and I've matured.

So you had a type?

I did date a lot of band guys. I don't think I have a type per se, but- What was it about the band guy that you were loving?

What was going on?

I don't know. I was just young and thought that was cool to be on tour with the Cold War kids or Rooney and stuff. I thought I was having a blast. I was in my 20s. I don't know.

I forgot Rooney was on the show. We had so So many cool bands on the show.

It was a great way to meet people.

The music was everything. Okay, so you liked the band Boys, but now maybe we're veering away.

Yes. No, we have veered away. I like people who are driven and have their own stuff going on. It's incredibly important, considering how independent and driven I've always had to be in my life and am in my life. That and a sense of humor are the two main things.

What is a non-negotiable for you?

If you don't have a sense of humor and you can't make me laugh. If you're not funny, then it's like, no, that's not going to work, probably.

I need to be cracking up.

Yeah. I need somebody who feels like a best friend.

Because I think also, if you could talk about... Because as we wind down, I have a lot of... I just started my fucking therapist. You guys, my therapist at the 50 minute mark is like, as we wind down, I'm like, oh, bitch, that's your way of telling me it's over. You're going to hang up on me.

Panic.

But as we wind down, I'm I'm curious, of all the themes we did talk about with men, how have you, whether it's in therapy or just on your own journey, how have you tried to rebuild trust? Because I feel like there's so many women that write into me of, I just feel like I've been so fucking wronged by men, and sorry to all the men in the room, but it's hard to not hate them because of the bad interactions you've had with them. Do you have any advice for women that have gone through?

I definitely become more of a girls girl over the years, that's for sure. But in relationships, It's like how to not get- How would you trust again? Yeah. I mean, you have to. You just have to. I mean, you just have to keep your wits about you. But you can't go around with, like we said, resenting or having a chip on your shoulder and being like But because also you won't attract the right people in that phase either. That's a good thing. I love love. I think everybody needs to keep an open mind. There are good people out there, even though this episode addresses Just a lot of- You all suck. A lot of not so good people.

No, there are. You're right. I think it's important to have conversations like this of the bad can be really fucking bad and really fucking dark. But if you keep pushing through it, like you said, you wish you could tell yourself, then no, bitch, you are going to make it past 27, and it is going to get better. And you are so strong, but you shouldn't have had to be that strong. But the reason you're still here is because you're so strong. And keep fighting to people listening that are going through it. There's a reason to keep fighting because it actually, most of the time, always does get fucking better.

It does.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?

I don't know. I think, honestly, a lot of people think that I am Marisa Cooper. I think a lot of people think I'm going to be a really stuck-up bitch. I get that vibe that people think, Oh, I've dated these guys, and that I'm going to be... I do think that that's horrible... It comes with the territory of when people meet me. They're always like, Oh, you're so much prettier in person, and you're so much nicer. And then I thought you were going to be, and I'm like, Wow, okay. I don't think I want to know what you thought A lot. But I think that seems to have been the lasting stigma around things. I think it's the whole thing we were talking about of the story lines of Marissa and Misha at the time crossing and people just equating the two with each other. I think that's been a toxic lasting that some people have stuck in their heads.

Does that make you at all resent the character?

No. I still love Marissa as a character. I think she's a badass bitch, and I think she was a great character. I just think people are not the roles they play. Actors are like... Yes.

Give actors a break. Actors are not the roles they Period. God bless. Everyone online, you get that TikTok? Okay. What do you hope people take away from this interview?

Hopefully, for me, girl strength and power, because I think talking about these things and if you can talk about your dark times and your depression or anything that you've been through. For me, like I said, I was walking around the city with my headphones and listening to your interviews, and I do find them really interesting. I think it's important that you can listen to other women's perspectives and what they've been through. And if you're having a bad day, hopefully it's not as bad as Misha's first day.

You're like, Bitch, hopefully this really brings me to- This will brighten you.

But you're right.

It's like sometimes when everyone goes through it where you're feeling so alone, and there is something really nice when especially people you look up to that you know online are like, oh, I have been through it. It can give that person sitting in their room, whether it's a good or bad day, to be like, damn, I'm so not alone. It's all the same themes. We all have ties to each other. It's just we experience it or feel it differently. But no, I really appreciate you opening up today because I know you don't do a lot of this stuff, but I think in the right environment, it was such a powerful- Well, I wanted to talk to you because I think you're cool.

I get good vibes from you. And when I first spoke to you, I was like, out of everybody that I could talk to. Yeah, it's true. I turned down all the podcasts and stuff, but it's been fun talking to you.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. Last question. Yes. What can fans expect from you next? What are you up to in your life? Just give us the tea.

You know what's fun is, well, I was working quite a bit last year, which was fun, and so I was traveling a lot. And then I was working in Australia, and now I think I'm going to be doing a rom-com later this year in Australia, which is a really new territory for me. Stop. So she's a really fun character. Yeah, I know. It's not the role, but she's got this great sense of humor to her, the character and stuff. I just think it's such a beautiful backdrop to film in. And yeah, I feel this character. I'm freaking out. That. I did a little movie in Ireland last year, which was really fun for me because I got to be back near my Irish roots. So fun. Yeah, just...

You in a rom-com.

I know.

Misha, I'm already gagged.

I love this one because it's a modern day real take on she's got a great sense of humor, and she's really grounded, and the supporting, he's got a brother in it, and she's got her sister. Those dynamics also come into play a lot. So I think it's a great script.

Let me just say this. The Daddy Gang, my fans and I, will be sat, ready to watch with our popcorn, ready to support our girl. They're coming back, too.

It's a fun genre. We don't always want to be in running scared and doing these dramatic roles. Right.

In our emo days. Sometimes we want a little laugh with our popcorn. Misha, I cannot thank you enough for coming on for trusting me with this conversation. And truly, it has been such a pleasure to get to know you more. I know there's so much more to you, but I appreciate you sitting down with me because this was really one of my faves. So thank you. And thank you, thank you, thank you for coming and taking time out of your busy life.

No, thanks. I'm glad we got to meet up here in New York. I'm York.