And I was so stunned because I was like, you would never see a picture of a group of businessmen with that weight.
It would be the awards they've won or their metrics, how big their dicks are, how many women they fuck. But.
Hi, guys, welcome back to another episode of Girl's Got Eat, Week 64 of the pandemic. Remember those days I was like, you did OK? You're like, Yeah, I was trying to do the math. Now it's like, whatever, it's eighty one and partly cloudy. It's beautiful outside today. I walk around plants for it. She's vibe is. It's all right. It's listen, I had car trouble this morning.
You don't feel I tell them how you managed to prolong recording today. Yes. I do feel like every time it is something but it always sounds like a lie. But it's not a car trouble. That is the biggest lie in the song. When you walked into the apartment, say you looked like you had had cars.
You know, I would've thought you were wearing, which looks like a custom girl's got a you. And I was like, do we sell those or did you make that? And you're like, oh, no, it's unisex. Look, let we'll get into it. No, let's think. Partners thanks to Rakan Wireless earbuds for supporting girl's got to eat Rakan Ear Buds starts at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market. Get fifteen percent off your order at con dotcoms, LECG and things to clarinet for supporting girls.
Gary Chlorinate is a new online shopping app that allows you to shop thousands of online stores and pay for anything in four easy interest payments. Download the corner app today and start online shopping smoother. That's Carlana RNA. Yes, and big shout out to all form. Helix has gone beyond the bedroom and started making sofas and just launched a new company called All Form. They're making premium customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door to find your perfect sofa and get 20 percent off.
All orders go to all form dotcom aguy and thanks to hella fresh for supporting girl's gotta eat. Hello Fresh. Let's you just cook, eat and enjoy. Go to hell or fresh dotcom slash eighty jgi and use code aguy to get a total of eighty dollars off, including free shipping on your first box. Additional restrictions apply. Please visit Hellier Fresh Dotcom for more details. Look, what happened was today I'm letting my friend take the extra time to go pick up a kitten.
Mm hmm. She's been on the hunt for a kitten and she is our most organized.
Yeah, yellow or the most yellow detail oriented has been on the hunt for this kitten for months. And I will tell you that she is like family. She's such a close friend. I will do anything for her. And when she was talking about the kind of kitten she wanted to adopt, I was like, you know, let me put on my Instagram story and see if anybody might know a good maybe they they're kind of kittens, maybe they know a good adoption place, whatever.
I was like just some kind of a description. It was so specific that I was like, I suppose this.
So listen, she because I can't even imagine in my wildest dreams what she wrote on that, what I need to know what she wrote and it was just the way, like, she knows what she wants.
She wants to cut to look a certain way, which is fine. We all preferences. She's adopted. So that's all that matters, right? She's not buying a kitten or, you know, whatever she is, it's not like a breed thing is just a specific look. She wants it to look like a kitten forever. It's a whole thing. But she described the way its face, its mouth, its mouth, its nose. It was crazy.
And I was like thinking of how I could rewrite it to just seem a little more chill. So my so my followers aren't like your friends are crazy.
And in the meantime, I kept being like, I'm sorry. I know I meant to put this up for you and I'm sorry. I keep forgetting I'm procrastinating. And she jokes about it. She's like, I know I sounded crazy, but you did. But in the meantime, she did find a kitten. They called me for a reference. You were here. They called me. I had never heard Ashley say such nice things about anybody, including her mother and me.
It was amazing. Well, she is she's so responsible. She sits for Dewey. She would be an amazing pet owner. So she used me as a reference and she got the cat and she was taking the Xterra today to go get it. And like Orangeburg, New Jersey, and the battery was dead. So let's listen. At this point, I don't know if that cat's coming back to Manhattan because the car is not really should not be on the road.
Yeah, but seriously, there is no one I trust in a crisis more than her in the whole world. You know, you some friends, you're like, if this happened to you, you die. Yeah, she's wonderful. And I mean, if that car breaks down on the road like a kitten and the kitten carrier, well, I don't have that much interesting stuff going on in my life. Which leads me to a couple of things.
First of all, I got a new Amazon, Alexa. I've only said one thing to it. And I feel like Alexa knows everything about me because of this. Thanks. I've had it in my home for, like a week and a half, and I've always had one thing to it, and that is Alexa, play what I say. Yeah, that is the only thing I've said to will she play it or do you just. She know.
Thank you. Playing well as pussy she says.
Now it says what it really was. My dream part is that Alexa bloop. Oh did you hear that. Your voice doesn't care.
She's in your bedroom like Radamel. She's busy in the bedroom. I got to go and I got a backup one also got an echo for the bedroom. Like you. A little baby. Oh, you got a big one. A small one. I've got a hole. Speaker system. Oh, system. You're all tricked out Yoshimori.
I read this best meme and it was like, of course, you know, women are dominating the rap charts and we can't even go out and dance or something like that. You know, like this is like such a hot music summer, you know? I mean, there's always been, like, amazing summer bangers, but like especially ones whop came out and it's like we can't even go to the club. And that is that I know there's a man to blame for this.
It's my favorite song of the summer. Who's the man you can blame? Donald Trump.
OK, so speaking of that, did you know Baron Trump is like six six?
Is he, huh? No, we're not going there, raise 14, so like, does he look like he'll be hot? Oh. OK, stop what you're doing. First of all, I thought Barron Trump was like eight. I thought I thought he was 11 at the most last night on Twitter.
I see Barron is trending a few reasons. One, he's going to virtual school. But yeah, Donald Trump wants to open the schools. Of course, his own son is going to virtual school, too. There's this video of the three of them exiting Air Force One or whatever. Donald Trump is trying to hold on his hand. She is not having it like the most she's ever not had it. Like as in like you will not hold my hand, swatted him away multiple times, 100 percent.
She's voting for Biden, by the way. Vote like Melania. She knows that this agreement they have is about to end. She knows nobody is voting for Biden here is harder than Melania Trump and Baron is coming down behind them.
And he is like his body comes out of the plane first and his head is even out of the plane. I'm like, how tall scaremongering Donald Trump is like six three or six two. I mean, talk hands of a five seven man.
But like Baron Baron Trump is, he's six six at the least I am doing.
I thought he was a child, so I thought he was eight. Yes, right.
And like if you said he's eleven, I'd be like, oh, that makes sense. He was eight we know a few years ago. And like, how is he fourteen and how is he an absolute unit?
I just had to share that.
Thank you. Know, I literally didn't know I didn't know he was an eight. I had no idea. I just didn't know. But yeah, I just like I, I just love watching her pure hatred for sure.
How could I throw myself off these steps and die or touch him and her full body's like die. Yeah. Dryas pussy.
I hope you guys are enjoying Donald Trump's slamming. It's only going to get worse over the next few weeks. A couple little housekeeping things. We don't talk about the live show. We should talk about cancelling live shows first. First, let's just hype today's episode. We have Djamila Dremiel about as our guest.
We're so excited to have her. We her for a while. And we are we're actually doing this in order this time. So we haven't spoken to her yet. So we can't hide the interview, but we're sure it's going to be easy. Voice is I got to speak to her voice, the anger.
She's the best voice. So you guys are in for a serious treat? Yeah.
We can talk about weight here and talk about confidence, cancel culture, all kinds of things. Other housekeeping staff. Unfortunately, as we let you guys know last week, we have canceled our shows through twenty twenty, our live shows. All the information is on our website. All information is always on our website. Every venue has a little bit of different information about how to get a refund and what the window for refunds are. So check our website, but always reach out to the venues.
Please have some patience with them. Every artist in the United States and probably the world is dealing with this right now. So we are working to move the dates, not the venues. So we should be at the same venues next year, God willing. And you can always get everything on Girlguiding podcast dotcom.
Yeah, everything's on the website, including our virtual stupid live show, which is going to be Wednesday, September 2nd, 9:00 pm Eastern Time, 6:00 p.m. Pacific Time. It's going to be great. We have a lot of fun stuff planned. We're going to tell some crazy stories, have some fun guests that you guys will recognize. If you listen to show some performances, all kinds of things is going to be while. Do we, of course, will make an appearance and you guys can get tickets.
They're affordable. They're like twelve bucks. A portion of proceeds will benefit Black Lives Matter. And again, just go to Girlguiding podcast dot com click on live shows. It's right there at the top. Yeah. And then also the website, you guys can grab merchandise and all the other things on there.
The if you guys are newer listeners, you want an episode about a specific topic, whether it's money or sexual fetishes or whatever it is, you can search those now. So every episode is there and then all of our partners and all of our discount codes. So one stop shop, got new gifts, got numerous, got new everything. We're really excited. Yes. So get on that, guys. And you said you had a announcement about your personal life you wanted to share.
I feel like every six months I tell you guys this and I'm usually pretty good with it. I've recommitted to getting back out there, dating my guys. I cannot be getting fucked. OK, listen safely with a math doggystyle. I only I feel like New York has been pretty safe and everybody's following the rules and precautions. And I mean, I've been out to dinner quite a bit. I mean, you know, all the everything's really socially distanced.
Everybody Christmas. And I feel like New Yorkers will scream in your face if you don't follow the rules. So, yeah. Yeah, that's true. People public shaming people who really, like, follow the rules in New York, which makes me feel very proud. But I want to get back out there because I feel like when it gets cold, everything's going to shut down again. It's like my last chance to find a boyfriend. It's like Thanksgiving and that's it.
Oh, like before then you have time. Yeah, I'm like a couple of months, but I feel like once the world shuts down again because it's cold, you can't go to bars like that's it. And I can't get another boyfriend until like May. Oh this is, this is true. Yeah. So, yeah, you got to start cutting pre-season now. Yeah, because coming season not to last as long as it usually does, we've got pandemic election season on steroids.
November is going to be wild. So I'm committed to the audience and to you that I'm going to get back out there. I always say I'm do it on dating apps. I don't really have an option other than that, though, because I would say it. I was here to get on the app for the first time. I'm going to get back out there for the first time. Well, I can't meet guys in public anymore. I can just like walk up to people and say something gross.
Yeah, you can, but it'll be like muffled through a mask. It's awkward for everybody. Every time I try to flirt with somebody, I forget that I have a mask on. I feel like no one could see what you look like. So I mean, we could see those teeth. That's your main thing. I paid enough money for them. So I'm going to I'm going to get out there for the first. You you need one of those masks that has your smile on the mask so people can see what's under there.
I mean, it's my best asset on my lips. People look at them and they're like, socks are great. Yeah. The whole mouth. Yeah, the whole mouth. Yeah. All right. Well, Rayna's getting back on there.
She's getting on their catch a catch your own hedge or whatever you're like really cool, smart, funny brothers, cousins, friends, ex boyfriends. I'll fuck your ex-boyfriend. Depends on why he's your ex boyfriend is a cheater. I don't want them. Right. But maybe you had like an amicable breakup. And it was just because, like, he made too much money for you. But is he a cheater, that old spit in your mouth?
Because then you might make an exception. You can't spit anymore. And that's true. Spitting in people's mouth started this whole thing. But I think it's spit on you, you and that guy in Australia, patient zero.
I look back, I do so many things in my body.
We do. Yeah. OK, so you I you have thoughts on this. More thoughts. I don't think more thoughts than I do. You could start. Well we yeah. We want to talk about love on the Spectrum, which is a show on Netflix and it is about it's a dating show. Well I don't know. It's basically it's a show about singles that are on the autism spectrum that are dating, but also a few couples, too.
So all all kinds of relationships. I love it. I think that we need more shows like this to educate people on people with disabilities and people that are different than you and just to normalize it.
And there's a lot of stigma around people with any sort of disability, whether it's been an autism spectrum or anything. And the show was really like the spectrum of autism, you know, from people that live a pretty normal life to people that still need to live with their parents and things like that. So I thought it was great all around. A few thoughts. My favorite person, I feel like on the show, which I don't think I'm alone, and this was Michael.
I just felt like he just wore my heart.
I just like if he doesn't find his queen, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, he is just I'm so it is his just the kindest soul. I just want to him. I just want to watch him the whole time, like when he was on an episode. I like where more. Michael, please. So I just loved him so much. I just thought he was so wonderful. I loved what it's like. Brother was like trying to help him.
Did he like gave him that checklist. I'm like, can every guy get this checklist?
And then I loved Olivia. Others too. Olivia is the first Olivia with that big dig energy of I want a hot, muscular, rich man and I'm not settling for anything less. Her family was like, Olivia, you might want to lower your standards. She was like, fuck you. This is all about force. She was just like not like crossing guys on the left and right. She was like, no, I'm not good enough for me.
But one guy was like good looking and paleontologist. I thought he was great. She was like, not for me. Like I was hot. She was just like, I don't know. All the women were the standards. The guys were like, I'll take anyone. And the women were like, nope, not good enough. Next, thank you. Next. I just thought this was a really, like, beautiful representation of a part of society.
You don't see that often and like really important. I love what Netflix is doing in general dating shows, but I like this in particular was extremely important. And we talk about people, disabilities a lot. But you don't hear a lot about people with disabilities dating. And I'd love to do it for our show. Yeah, for sure. Definitely committed to doing that on our podcast. But I don't think you see this side of things and what it's like for parents to help somebody or a sibling to help somebody to just like learn to, you know, a lot of girls chair what you ask somebody.
And I really do wish, like, all guys went through this because, like, the stuff that Michael's brother told him, like, you know, try to feel it out and she doesn't seem.
Yes, yes. What you're saying maybe like change the topic or, you know, ask her different question about herself. Like, can every dude I ever went on a date with go to that school? That letter that Michael's brother wrote him? I was like, can every guy get this and have to sign off on it that they read it? The honesty was also just like really tremendous between people, just like what they were looking for. It was so refreshing, like if everyone could date that way, like there'd be a lot less confusion.
I mean, again, you know, like there is a reason why the people in the show speak and act the way that they do their their brains function into. Way, but like it was the bluntness and just the upfront honesty was so refreshing to see, like I think if I took away anything, I was like, man, I just this is like it's good to watch. There's no games. There's just like, are you enjoying yourself?
Should we do this again? Nope. OK, cool. Like it was just like at the end of every date it was like this honest conversation between two people about exactly what they were feeling in the moment. Can I see you again. Would love to see you again. Yes, you can see me again. That would make me really happy. Yeah. I just I thought it was sweet. It was like a really good feel good show.
And yeah, it also they all find love and opened my eyes to a part of society that I just don't, I don't, I don't know much about it. How many family members with a disability. So I haven't been around it like growing up. And it's something really important. It's something we want to highlight on the show as well. So, yeah, we're we're we're definitely on it. All right. Well, that's pretty much it for us in the intro.
We have Jameela coming soon, but before that, we just want to run through a few of our partners so we don't have to interrupt her as much. I am telling you guys about all form. You have heard us talk about Helix and how much I love my Helix Mattress. So Helix has gone beyond the bedroom and started making sofas. They just launched a new company called All Form and they're making premium customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door.
Everything is made in the USA, so everything is 100 percent made here. They're providing jobs, everything is made sustainably. That's just one of the coolest things that I just want to say that up top, I love this company so much. I have the armchair with a chaise. I just love the look of it. I love the look of all the furniture. It's modern, but it's not too crazy looking. It'll really go with any aesthetic you have in your home.
I'm obsessed with my armchair. I had so much fun customizing it. I chose the color. I chose the fabric. I chose the leg finish. And it is so comfortable, so high quality. I'm so obsessed with it. I fall asleep in it, I read in it. It's just like it's really, really great. And of course, in addition to the chairs, they have sofas. It's what they're known for. So you can build all of it to an eight seat sectional.
You can have chaises, you can have two chaises, you can do a corner sectional. You can really have whatever your heart desires in terms of the couch. And you can always start small and buy more seats later on if you want. You're all from sofa to grow and change with you when you move. If you upgrade, you have more space and it comes ready to assemble. It's so quick and easy to assemble. I promise you, if I can do it, you guys can do it.
And again, like everything looks really nice, but everything is so comfortable. So it's not like you're going to have this beautiful piece of furniture that you hate to sit on. I love all the colors, all the finishes, all the things you can do to customize it. And let's talk about shipping one. It's free, too. It's going to get to you and an acceptable amount of time. So it takes about three to seven days to arrive.
I got to say, I've had some nightmare situations with how long furniture takes to arrive and talking to you, you know, you are not going to say any names.
Right. And I had the same exact situation where we like just literally we're like, when's it going to show up? It hasn't even started to be built yet. Anyway, I'm not going to go down that road. We were we both had we were both borderline of panic attack. And if you guys are hesitant about getting so far without trying it on sitting on it, you don't need to worry. You get one hundred days to decide if you want to keep it.
That's more than three months. And if you don't love it, they'll pick it up for free and they'll give you a free refund. They also have a forever warranty, literally forever. So again, like if you're like, I don't know if I'm going to like it, whatever, order it, see if you like it. You have one hundred days to see if you really love it. And if not, they will come pick it up.
And we are giving you guys a discount, of course, to find your perfect sofa. Check out all form dotcom, sluggy and all form is offering 20 percent off all orders for our listeners at all. Form Dotcom Sluggy. Yes, check it out, guys. And I'm telling you guys about a really fun partner of ours in Sweden. They don't shop. They Carlana Coryna is a revolutionary new online shopping app from Sweden that allows you to shop thousands of online stores and pay for anything in four easy interest free payments that make shopping smoother.
So I discovered this when they became a partner of ours and I am loving shopping with them. You can shop anywhere online from one app. It's super easy to use. Convenient. You can browse thousands of online stores in one place and they they pretty much work with all types of stores. So beauty, home, electronics, toys, how they have a whole section where they highlight black owned businesses. It is every name brand you could pretty much think of.
So HSM, Abercrombie, Adidas, Sarfaraz, Assoc., all these different brands, every name, brand you can think of, pay for anything and for interest free payments as opposed to like just one straight up credit card payment. A lot of brands allow you to pay after delivery, which allows you guys to try before you buy. And you can also report returns directly in the app. So it's very, very simple to use. You get great deals and you've got notifications for customized price drops and then you can save stuff on your wish list.
So it's always good to shop smarter and save money. The wish list feature I really like a lot and you can share that with friends and family anywhere online. It's fun. It's easy. I just really enjoyed it. Is made shopping really nice and there's like a one stop shop for me and it's every brand that I shop. So they're all right there. And if you guys haven't heard of it once you have heard us talk about it, you're in.
We see it everywhere, I see it literally everywhere, I use it literally all the time. I literally use that all the time. And then we're going to tell you guys how you could find them. Is a smoother, friendlier, sweeter sure way to shop online. It's the one stop shopping app for browsing and buying anything online, all in one app. And it allows you to pay for anything and for easy interest free payments. You guys can download the app today.
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Well, let's get into it.
We are so excited to welcome our guests today. She is an actress, a radio presenter and model, a writer and activist in twenty eighteen. She founded Ioway, which is a community program that we're going to talk a little bit more with her about in addition to her activism. She recently starred into the fantasy comedy series The Good Place, which I am obsessed with. Please welcome to the house studio, Jameela Jamil.
Hello. Thanks for having me here. So you're you're coming to us from L.A., right?
OK, and you're in the world of activism. So how did you get into that? We'd love to hear more about that.
God, I got into activism when I was 19 and I just started my recovery from an eating disorder and realized that a large portion of my eating disorder had come from the influence of media and particular fashion, like I came up during the time of heroin chic. So that was when you were supposed to be setting up to look like you see nothing other than heroin in order to be beautiful. And so I really believed that messaging as a 12 year old, as did most of the other people of my generation.
And and I think recognizing how much that damaged me once the spell had been broken at 19, after I'd had a car accident that left me, like hugely disabled for a couple of years, it changed the way that I felt about my body. And it made me respect my body a little bit more. I want to treat it a bit better than I had during my anorexia, my worst years of anorexia, because it isn't something that you can really get rid of in just a couple of years.
But I started campaigning and writing to newspapers about the dangers of the fashion industry, which I'd seen both as a scout and also as like a budding teenage model who never really got to do much. But I saw enough to be to recognize that I was being told by grown adults that if I want to get to the weight that they desire, I would have to just eat one red pepper sliced up a day. And that's it. That should be my entire food.
And if I cut it in small pieces and it can feel like many meals, which is about 15 calories a day and I'm about five foot 10, that's crazy. Yeah. For a growing kid, that's a wild thing to say. And I stopped having parents is and I've damaged my facility, my kidneys, my adrenals, my digestive system is is fucked. And so and these are things that are still going on now because the damage I did back as a teenager.
And so I think a lot of people think that I got into activism in twenty eighteen when it was trendy because they think that I'm telling in real life that today I've been saying the same shit for 15 years. If anything, I'm a broken record, but it's an interesting path to be on both sides of activism. One way your grassroots and you are standing from the outside as someone with no power and no platform where people don't listen to you or their victim shame you and they willfully ignore you.
And then to do it as a Hollywood actress and everyone's acting like not only had you never said these things before, but no one ever has. They listen to you as if you've just created the idea of activism. And so it's been an interesting journey to try to make sure that I utilize my platform the best that I can, but also don't take up too much space, which is like walking a tightrope. Yeah, because they won't listen to mobilize people.
And I know that because I used to be more marginalized and settle these same things.
And what is your background? Where did you grow up? Did you grow up in the UK?
I grew up in London and Pakistan and Spain. So I just basically wherever the pound was strongest is where I would go because we had no money growing up and we were constantly being thrown out of our houses because we couldn't make rent. So we would just move to wherever we could afford to eat radio, wherever we might have family members who would like to sleep on the floor. So that was my that was my upbringing until I was about maybe seven or eight and things started to settle down.
And I think I moved like normal times after that four more times I was 13 times as a child, which is quite a lot. Oh, my gosh.
And I think this will resonate with a lot of people. Some of you said a few moments ago, which is when you come from a place of such adversity and you have no platform, but you feel like you have a message and you really want to get it out to people. And I feel like a lot of people really feel like that right now today. How do you do that? Like, how did you start being an activist without a platform?
Truly just letter writing, campaigning, finding other activists, joining movements. Know, I think that something that I want more people to understand is that activism can take place brick by brick. You don't have to have millions of followers on the Internet. You don't have to even stand out. Marked with the placard, if you maybe have a disability with your social anxiety around crowds, you can make such a difference just joining other movements. You don't have to be the leader of the movement.
For example, all the changes that I've made, the Instagram and Facebook law that we change or global policy that we changed around making sure that minors couldn't see cosmetic surgery procedures and couldn't be sold, a diet detoxes or the two bills I'm working on now as much as I am the face of those things, without the two hundred and fifty thousand signatures that I got in three days from other people who joined my movement without the one point three million people who are doing I way, I wouldn't have created all of this noise or been able to make this change.
So we do all of this as a group. And I think anyone out there who's listening to this or who's been watching the news lately thinking, oh, shit, I need to do more, I want to be an activist, but I don't know where to start. Do not have the idea of you being at the front of the crowd. Just join the crowd because there is so much strength in numbers. So that's how I started, was just by kind of jumping onto other a educating myself and everyone around me as best I could.
But writing in contacting the British Fashion Council, contacting the government via harassment letters and underlining with other people who were older and more experienced than me.
And I love that because you never know what's also going to catch on. So like something like what is happening in Iowa, they had this crazy storm that's I got another word that I don't even know. And it wasn't getting a lot of press because there's a lot of other things going on. And someone just sent it to me and I posted it. And then it's I feel like it's hard to pick up traction. And then you see, the original post was just this guy with, like a couple hundred followers.
That was like, here's what's happened in Iowa. Here's how you can help. And I think sometimes you see a post from like someone with literally under a thousand followers that that all of a sudden you look at it and has a half a million likes because it got into the hands of the right people and people just sharing it around.
Also, so much of activism takes place at your dinner table. And if we all took took part and just brick by brick activism of educating those around us and ourselves, then the world would be completely transformed within a matter of months. But it's because I think we have this idea that an activist wears a beret and stands at the front of a march, that being able to be a great public speaker and has all of this power and charisma like this isn't that's not true.
It's it's the masses who make the difference. And and I think it's really important. I think I see a lot of division within activism and a lot of kind of oppression, Olympics and Olympics.
And you see people wanting their movement to be stronger than another person's movement. And this is just such a warped idea of how we're going to beat the oppressor. The reason the oppressor keep winning is the oppressor knows how to organize and stick together and put their differences aside. And I feel like liberals definitely still are struggling with being able to do that because they they want perfection. They want moral purity. And I understand that. But I don't know if we are always amazing at looking at the bigger picture, zooming out and seeing the macro of, like, what we're actually trying to achieve here.
I we we deal in the micro sometimes. So I definitely hope that this year I've seen this year and I think there's been more alignment, especially politically. You can see that more people are like, OK, let's just put our differences aside and let the government in order that we want.
Yeah, and you've been pretty open about you can't tackle everything, you know, and people come at you, they're like, did you see Kim Kardashian picture? Why don't you speak it on Jimmy? And you're like, OK, but the fact that you were even bringing that to my attention shows that like my work here is done, like I've I've showed you how to spot these problematic things. So I and I only I'm only one person and I could only do so much.
And I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, but you just really honed in on this like 50 bullshit serving this stuff to young girls. Like, I feel like we you can't just cure body image and eating disorders. So you chose a lane almost of like, OK, here's what I see is a problem with influencers peddling this bullshit. And I'm going to hone in on this. Yeah, it's funny.
People have all these different ideas of who I am because I don't really know me beyond a tweet. And so some people think I'm the Punisher and I'm here to come and cancel and kill and go out and just on Batman. And they put a bat signal in the air and then I go out and scream at someone publicly. That's not really what I'm trying to do. Like, I don't want to counsel anyone. I don't want to cancel the conversations.
Why would I try and counsel people who have loads of money and influence that they could do so much good?
Why would I like truly I mean, talk about biting the hand that could potentially feed us. Right. And so I want them just to stop selling laxatives and I will go enjoy this.
This isn't fun for me. Do you hear that, Chloe?
OK, yeah, it's and so I try to approach them with as much empathy as I can because I was a huge garage environment. I was younger because they were the first curvaceous women in media and I felt like they took so much bullying. The. The press over that that I was like Barrie on Kim's side and used to constantly speak out and her defense, and then she I think it all just kind of got to their heads as to the fact that the priority in their lives, the thing that the media scrutinized the most, means that their size, their weight, their appearance must be the most important thing about them, which is a shame because they're actually a very bright group of business women.
But you could just see that that damage has been done, though, because this is the messaging they put out so often. It's like they don't need the money. They're billionaires. They don't need to sell these tees and these detoxes and these corsets and show these pictures of them looking thinner than maybe they are. And then they get found out by the paparazzi and then everyone piles in on them again. They don't need to do that. But they've clearly internalized the idea that what was most important about them is how little space they take up, how young they can look, how sexy they can be, and the media and society did that to them.
So I try to act with as much empathy as possible. But I'm not a counselor. I'm also not an intellectual. I think some people think that. I think that I'm a super intellectual. I left school at 16. I don't have any fucking qualifications. I'm not that well read. I'm just someone I'm an ordinary person who just got put in an extraordinary position on NBC who just said, well, these things are fucked and it would be crazy if I don't say something about them.
Otherwise, I'm complicit in the violence against women.
I think that we've seen this explosion of council culture this summer. So for people who never even heard that term before, you can't escape it now. And I like how you like the Kardashians to I don't want to cancel them. I want to re-educate people because, like, how sad is it to lose people that have a platform that large? Right. Yeah. And I love the stuff that you said about just sort of educating people and not some people to already canceled.
Some people do really terrible, horrible things, but other people really are just products of their environment and deserve to be reeducated.
Yeah. And I believe in education.
My job here as an activist is I'm trying to be an educator. I'm just trying to I'm learning all the time and I'm just trying to bring everyone along on the journey with me so we can all learn together. I don't believe in being judgmental about people who don't know what they don't know yet. I just believe we should all be trying and we should all be on a journey to consistently get better and do better. And so my role personally in society is just like I I believe in people.
I believe in people's intelligence. And I think that if we just gave them the correct information, if we just told kids what Photoshop is, how it works, how everything they're saying is based on what is really in the details. And Dieties, what happens to you when you wear a corset all of the time? I think if we actually armed them with the information, they would they they are bright enough to protect themselves. But because they've been left in the dark and they think the porn is real and that's what sex is really like, we don't tell them anything at school.
Their parents don't tell them fuck all. And so I think that I've just kind of decided to kind of step in as a kind of crass, foul mouthed older sister. Your parents don't want you to talk to who's going to tell you the truth? I learned the hard way so that you don't end up as fucked up as I have been. What was your question? Sorry about educating people. Sorry.
Yes, I believe you. Now, to keep going until culture and call out culture are two very different things.
And I feel like celebrities keep crying about how they are being canceled just because they're being criticized. And I think we've had this kind of almost religious approach to celebrities over the last twenty years. We treat them like gods, so they've become accustomed to being treated like gods, never being questioned. And so when they get pushed back, they're like, I can't believe you've told me. It's like you're a white billionaire, J.K. Rowling. Nobody can counsel you.
Only death would to be canceled right here. You can publish your own books. You could start a publishing fucking house. You're going to be literally fine. Yeah. Yeah.
Celebrities don't often get counseled. Very few ever have been. And so they normally just go away for a minute and they come back. And so they've been crying about council culture. And I think that has been really unhelpful. It's made people than not understand what council culture is. Call-out means you are calling someone out for that bad behavior and maybe even piling onto them, if that's what it takes to get out there to get their attention. Cancellation means de platforming someone taking away their rights, taking away their job, taking away that voice.
And I do think the world that we're in right now is so unforgiving and so impatient and so angry. And I understand why, but I don't like the culture of calling for the cancellation, the de platforming and whatever of someone on their first or second mistake. If that mistake isn't intended to harm people, I think we have to be willing to educate people. If we think that people aren't capable of change that, what the fuck is the point of activism anyway?
It's the hypocrisy is crazy. It's like, don't you want growth? Like, I watch your Trevor Noah clip over and over. I'm not kidding you. I feel like I could. And I love that you say like if you haven't caused a wreck of a bull, is that the word irrevocable or like harm and you are doing more good in the world. Why are you trying to take these people down and come for their money? And it's like.
People change and they grow and should we love to see somebody that is doing great things in the world that they used to fuck up, because that's proof that there is so much growth and it's like we can all do better. Like it's almost like inspiring as opposed to something that you should be trying to ruin someone's life for. Something they said ten years ago. Like I to me, it's like the opposite. We should be like, wow, look at how far he or she has come from those comments from a decade ago.
This is inspiring. Like it's so it's so backwards and I get so fired up.
It just makes me quite sad because I think that no one recognizes again, like, let's look at the bigger picture. You're devaluing progress, devaluing progress to young people. It's like we as adults, we see these things differently. But you have to be aware that kids are watching us. They're watching everything we do, and we are making them afraid of putting their hands up and admitting what they don't know the answer to your question or they don't join in with activism because they are afraid that if they aren't perfect and if they don't already know everything, then, you know, if you stick your neck out, your head is going to get chopped off.
And so we are we are truly devaluing progress. Why would anyone bother getting better if you're never going to allow them to re-enter society? And again, I'm only talking about people who haven't done irrevocable harm. Someone like Harvey Weinstein should fuck off and die in a business. But I think other people who have potential to really do amazing things with that power, we need them. Like how far along do we think we are that we can just cut off all of our potential allies because they made one mistake maybe ten years ago.
So I can't even believe I'm using this as an example. But I feel like, you know, nothing anybody's going to do is going to be perfect and no one's ever going to be one hundred percent satisfied with an apology or a comeuppance or whatever. But Britney Spears posted this thing. I can't believe I'm using the example, but I actually really liked it. She said, go ahead and criticize me, but just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life.
And I thought that that was a great sentiment. Britney, I hope you're OK, but I love the sentiment and I feel like you can sit in silence and judge other people who have tried to do something for the world and say this isn't enough or this is misguided or whatever, but look at your own life and what are ways that you could be better, because I have looked at my life every day for months now in this society and said every day, how can I be better and more?
Sure. The show I'm always learning. I mean, I fuck up publicly all the time and I don't shy away from it because I think it's really important for young people in particular to see that someone can grow and change and learn. I believe in showing my work things out as to how I am becoming a better person. I was so fucking problematic, so ignorant just a couple of years ago even. I mean, I think it was twenty twelve.
I was slut shaming publicly. I was just so careless in the way that I would talk about different kind of subgroups of minorities. I also was a comedian, so I would make really, really callous and crass jokes all the time. And I have grown into someone who now uses my platform not to take people down, but to elevate people. I know I sometimes call people up, but anyone that being dangerous. Other than that, I have now turned my work towards strengthening marginalized groups and and trying to give them my platform.
If I had been canceled, quote unquote, like had my job and my voice and my everything taken away, then I wouldn't have been able to eventually create my way and start to change these laws. So we have to believe in the progress of people. Otherwise, what are we hateful if we don't believe in hope? And I think that it's it makes me really sad. And I also think it's important to think about the I guess, the psychology behind some of council culture.
I feel like we're quite simple beings, really, and I don't think we've evolved in all of the ways. And I think that there's a feeling of safety in a tribe. And when you see a tribe, you see a mass of people turning against someone. You sometimes join in for the feeling of safety, of like if I actively stand out against this one thing or criticize one person, join the pylon, then at least I'm safe within the numbers of the big group who are calling them out and therefore I don't have to be on my own.
I think we do it for safety. Does that make sense?
And takes one to like prove ally ship in a way which is sad. Like Obama talked about this at the end of twenty eighteen, there's the Daily did a great two parter on council culture and I think people forgot the end that I think that they felt like it was so long ago, but like it's still a relatively new term. And Obama addressed it I think in November. Twenty eighteen. And he said this is kind of how people are trying to prove that they're a good person by judging others and piling on others.
So it was interesting. So we cosigned him always forever.
I also wonder if it's partially because we see something in someone else that maybe we possess ourselves and we're so disgusted by that were embarrassed of it, that we rail against it disproportionately, intensely, because we hate that part of ourselves. And we feel like maybe we can exercise that demon by so violently standing against something else. And by the way, just so you know, I'm so proud. Celebrities are powerful people being called. Out to within an inch of their lives.
I'm fine with where we are to we've been called out and we're better people for it, so much better for everything I know. I learn from my mistakes, not from my triumphs.
Yeah, but there's a difference, like you said, of also trying to ruin someone's life and their their livelihood. And I love that you distinguish to the difference of call out and let's ruin your life and never speak again. Yeah. Yeah. Well, while we're here, let's just take a quick break to run through our other partners and we will get right back into it. Djamila, again, I'm telling you guys about Rakan Wireless earbuds. We love recon.
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So that's a loaded question, but go on to break it down for me.
Why don't you tell me? I know. We know because we know I way. But why don't you tell people even what I weigh means like what?
What is like someone that's totally unfamiliar with the brand in twenty eighteen I think I joined Instagram for the good place to promote it and I clicked on the explore button and I really didn't know what I was doing. And all these images kept on coming up of these beautiful, talented, strong, powerful women. And the numbers are written across their bodies, namely the Kardashians. I saw a picture of a group shot of the family with no bodies. And I was like, oh, I bet that's how much money there was.
And then I thought, oh, I wonder how much money that was.
I click on it and it was I wait. And I was so stunned because I was like, you would never see a picture of a group of businessmen with that weight written across the body.
Maybe they would save one or their metric so big their dicks are six. How many women they fuck. Yeah, but it was it was their weight.
And because of the algorithms of social media, once I clicked on that one image, it was like, oh, she wants to see pro bono material. And so suddenly I had all of these images of different famous women and their weight across their bodies. And I tried so hard to find the same of men. And unless they were a UFC fighter, I couldn't find a single mother that way.
Everybody, because we don't care. We care what men in authority and what they do, not what the numbers on the scale. And so what I say is, is a new metric for measuring your value, because women have been taught that our value is in how little space we take up, what numbers turn up on the scale. And that is fucking bullshit. And that is the height of patriarchy to give us this method of distracting ourselves so that we're eating less, we're sleeping less.
We feel distracted and awful about our bodies all of the time. Therefore, how can we ever be an equal gender if we have all of this extra homework to do and always looking like a prepubescent Lolita, 14 year old? So I one day posted. Well, I weigh my relationship on my orgasms and my friendships and my financial independence, my activism, the eating disorder. I've survived and I posted it. I didn't have a very large following.
I think I had sixteen thousand followers on Instagram at the time and it just went so mega viral around the world in a way that I could never, ever have predicted. And within three days I had ten thousand women post that. I was back to me, started an Instagram account, thought it would be a short phase. And yet here I am. Two years later, we have one point three million followers, a very active community. We built a podcast.
We have a YouTube channel.
We're changing laws together and we've all worked out. That's why it's been so mad.
But it also shows that, like, I just touched upon such a global frustration and it's no longer just a body image movement. It's now just a general movement against shame. And it's about radical exclusivity and representing the groups who are most raised in the most empowering and educational way. It's also, most importantly, the thing that I wanted it to be is what it's now become, which is this has been a game where a lot of people want to join in and they don't know where to start at.
Again, as we were saying, this is not a very forgiving space ship is such a superiority complex space where everyone wants to show how much more they know than you and punish you for what you don't yet know. And so we wanted to create a safe space where it's like wherever you're at and your journey of learning, you can learn with us would like we have something for everyone. We will introduce you to the best activists. It's not all about me.
It's all about other people. The mike has been fully passed over to other smarter, more experienced activists. And when I'm learning that you can just join me on this, I don't know shit about shit.
I don't know about you. And I'm learning. And I think that that is joyous and that's the whole point of life. And so you are welcome to come and join me in that. We're not going to judge you for what you don't know, because we're so glad that you're here trying to be better.
I just love that. I love that it's the energy that people need right now is still there because people are so ready to jump down your throat for one misstep when you have a platform. So I love that you're trying to create the safe space of like it's OK if you say the wrong word. You know, I don't mean like a slur, you know what I mean?
Just like, yeah, I think just just consistently being on a journey to look at your internalized bigotry wherever it leads, you internalized misogyny and always be correcting yourself, be hypervigilant and just do and be better. As long as you are growing every single day, you are on a better path. And those who just sit there pointing at you from the sidelines, a lot of the people who criticize others aren't doing shit to help anyone else. And the reason I know that because I don't have time to other people, because I'm trying to help others, there's times that there being a keyboard warrior, picking everyone up on every single syllable.
Then I think that it shows that you have a lot of time on your hands because you're not being helpful in the world. Yeah, read a fucking article. Yeah. Yeah.
And so, like I said, I think accountability is vital in this space. And I'm one to definitely hold others to account. And I'm held to account all the time. But we just have to have our fucking eyes on the prize. Sometimes I feel like we've actually lost sight of the end goal because we've lost hope in it. And so it just kind of all we've learned how to do is be angry and complain, but then not actually plan the next step.
I feel like we're not planning the next step yet enough and we're not figuring out how to come together and fix oppression as one.
And it made me laugh when you said, I don't know shit, which is not true, but I think maybe but maybe about learning. And I think that that's cool. And I think being willing to fail is cool. This is a fucking stupid idea of a failure or a mistake. Being something to be ashamed of is not at all. I mean, failure is a sign that you actually had the guts to try.
And I think that incredibly, Noble's way cooler than someone who never bothered to never put themselves out there and hide behind their keyboard and criticize a really brave if we wait for everyone to have a perfect understanding of absolutely everything before they join in and try and help. And nothing is ever going to get better. Everyone has to jump in scrap and now get messy, get dirty and get into trouble. But work together towards a better future. Right.
I love that. So I weigh what kind of particular interest I want to keep hammering this, but we haven't done a lot of episodes about eating disorders and body image and body image, but not as far as what type of resources do provide for people.
So we find great activists from around the world who talk about these things, but we also align with charities like NIDA or universities who are doing studies like Harvard Stripes. And so we work with them a lot. And I also use my podcast to talk to a lot of scientists or celebrities about their eating disorders. I talk a lot about mine. I hadn't eaten for about 20 years. I only actively thought of myself about all of those. And then after that, I've just had the kind of but still like a really odd relationship with food and food.
I used to weaponize food. Food was comfort, food was rebellion, food was joy, food was consolation. Food was never just fuel until I was like 30. And so I was just so toxic, so obsessed my size. And I would step on a scale every single day for 20 years and allow the scale to tell me how I was allowed to feel that day, though it's like the number would decide whether this was going to be a good thing or a bad day.
How do I how do I let numbers on a scale determine whether or not I have permission to feel good, to feel sexy and to feel happy and strong and worthy.
The shit that I have said to myself in my own head is so much worse than the worse things that any trouble could ever sites on the Internet. It is unbelievable when you silence that annibale, when you realize the piece in your head and how much of your brain was just full of you saying things to yourself that you would never tolerate being said, someone that you love. So I talk a lot about my own eating sort of history and I go out of my way to bring factual information around an eating disorder culture, what is a lie and what is actually in the products that are being sold to people in order to make them lose weight.
I'm one of the people who has, I think, brought the most attention to the fact that there are laxatives, these diet detox products, and he basically just fire like Game of Thrones and you also and then you can't shit it again for like five more days.
And the people pushing them aren't using them like, hello. No, no. One thing to say, it's like this is just you're being lied to straight out of the gate. Yeah.
As if they would as if any of these influences and also that's why they don't even put the side effects written on the can you imagine them putting their sexy picture of them in there like Photoshop shot with like excessive diarrhea and potentially hemorrhoids? Like, can you imagine them putting that under in the caption? I deliberately don't put any information in this. It's so unsexy. It's so bad. They put Viagra and heavy metals in boys muscle gain products. So that's why we're seeing such a rise in young impotence amongst boys.
But none of it is FDA regulators. It is just dodgy part of the Internet. Some of the stuff for women, it's got speed in it. And there are twenty four thousand kids a year who get admitted to the emergency room for having taken these products that these celebrities influence is. I'm talking about that it's just greed and a complete bankruptcy of morals. And so if I'm going to participate in this industry that has poisoned the minds of so many people and made so many people feel ugly and fat and otherwise, then I have to use it to just dispel all of the bullshit that I myself internalized as a kid, watching all of these celebrities as and now I'm just here.
It's just call bullshit on absolutely everyone. And I don't care how powerful they are on it. Don't. What happens to me, I lose, we say I literally don't care, it's one of our tags. Yeah, but with all that energy, yes, I'm fresh out of fucks to give. But you mentioned love life. I think that's a really important thing to talk about. On my podcast, I talked to talked with Matt McGarry from Orange is the New Black to get away with murder about his lifelong eating disorder.
And him and I touched on the fact that when you are starving yourself or excessively working out and obsessed and fixated when it comes to food and calories and your size, you are the least sexy ever because you hormonally don't have the energy to fuck anyone. You also nutritionally to have the energy.
I was I'm not a great shock now, but I was definitely a better shag now than I was when I think, you know, because my hormones are all over the place. I'm starving myself. I was weak, you know, I could never go on top. Oh, my God.
Imagine trying to fuck somebody when you're hungry. And it's like I think about it right now, even just being super hungry, I'd be like, get out. You don't want to do, like, get in my face. You know, just suck that dick for a meal I've never swallowed before, but I would never you know, I don't swallow, never swallow. Why would I ever swallow it? Oh, I have like one hundred percent survival rate.
That's why you're glowing all the time.
And I especially with it, I don't want to brush your teeth so that everyone in Hollywood has such like they bought their day, took a turn.
But we don't want to get too far off topic.
We're going to still hear from you about eating disorders and how the negative body image can affect your dating and relationship and sex life.
Well, you want to shatter glass. You want to shag in the dark always. And I believe some of us like to see you can become your obsession with food can really, really take over a relationship. It becomes very hard to go out to eat with them, just eat with them generally, which could be quite a bonding thing to do with someone that you love. And it can really create barriers. I know a lot of my friends who still struggle with eating disorders have tremendous struggles with the love.
It's because the lovers want to help them feel good about themselves, because they're with them, because they find them attractive as they are and would love them even if they were bigger or whatever size. But they are so consumed with their own self-hatred that they project that onto other people. So it's just it's a life of misery. And it's also the number one cause of death amongst any mental illness. Anorexia is eating disorders. And I don't think enough people know that will take it seriously enough that it really does unbelievable damage to your bones if you are not eating enough to opportunity to your skin, to your heart.
A lot of people don't know that the first thing you lose and weight is often muscle before fat is it's water first and then muscle. You always lose muscle before fat and your heart is a muscle. So every time you go on these big crash diets, you are starving yourself and denying yourself calories. Your heart is spinning and it's very, very hard to build that back up. And it's how a lot of people die. And that kind of forties and fifties is heart failure because they didn't eat enough along the way.
And so there just isn't enough information about how deadly and serious these things are. And also, the most important thing to understand is that we have one version of what we think an eating disorder looks like. We think it is the four and a half stone kind of emaciated or skeletal person that we see in the film or in the magazine. No, you can be anorexic and be underrating and undernourished yourself at any size. You can be a fat woman, a large fat woman with an eating disorder.
You may be may be because you have a slow metabolism or an insulin resistance. You are actually eating like six hundred calories a day, but your body is just piling weight onto you. That is possible. You can have an eating disorder any size and any gender. You could be a man, you could be a woman. If being a binary person, it can reach you anywhere. And you don't always have to have bones that are basically showing in order to actually be starving yourself and denying your body vital ingredients.
And so how did you get to where you are now? If you do, do you feel like you're you seem like you're in a healthy place? Do you feel OK? So how to know?
I'm in a good place now. I had a therapy called MDR Therapy, which is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, which I utilize to change my coding around food and to change my thoughts about my body. It's a kind of it's not like hypnosis. What it does is it just reorganizes your thought as mainstream therapy is not some ranma imaging which is free on the National Health Service. And it is a mainstream science approach to reorganizing the thought processes that you have like breaks your thought patterns and a large portion of eating disorders and body dysmorphia is thought patterns and it just interrupts them and shifts them and makes you a much more rational person.
So now I look at food a few, I eat intuitively, I eat when I'm hungry. I don't compulsively overeat because I'm stressed and I don't eat. Myself, to punish myself for when I overreacted, I was a binge and sort of like a roller coaster for my for 20 years, which is exhausting and also very expensive. Bingeing is especially if your real food is unbelievable.
I think it's why I lost my money by the time I was 30.
Right. When people talk about that. Exactly. And so I had therapy and I stopped weighing myself and I stopped wearing very, very tight clothes. And I finally got myself a stylist who had never worked with anyone in my career. And I made sure that that stylist was a man who would never, ever question my size. He would always make everything to fit me. He believes that the clothes should fit me. I'm stopped by law shoes that day is stylist and he really like he will double the size of a dress for me on the red carpet rather than make me feel like it's my fault for the clothes not fitting me.
But outside of that truly is supportive. It's making sure that I have a people around me don't talk about their weight, who don't talk about my weight, by the way, about other people. And I have changed my feet. I can't believe how much I've changed. I've stopped reading most magazines. I just don't let myself that you don't have to subject herself, that you don't have to expose yourself to, that you can. And I just want to kind of get back to the time where at least in the nineties, I used to have to, like, go out of my way.
I'd have to buy the four dollar magazine and feel like it was now because of our phones. It just comes to you. It finds you like that John Krasinski film. I find you in the night and it's such Zeke's you're out. And so I think it's just about being more protective of ourselves the way we would protect our own children. Would you ever let a teenager look at the shit that you look at? No.
Right. And I know that I've done a good job curating my feed, because when I see you posting about the things that you're taking on with the tease and all the dive culture, I'm like, I don't see that. I don't see it because I'm just like following the right people, you know, like, I think this is something that's not even getting into my brain because I have a mutant unfollow, mute unfollow whenever it feels necessary. You know, how do we even get in the speed in the first place?
Muite, block, delete, repeat like that is truly the guide to mental health and the Internet. And I like this idea of what you surround yourself with and who you surround yourself with. If you are a drug addict, you can go hang out a drug den. So if you have body dysmorphia issues, which a lot of people do, then you just don't look at the staff. And I also loved the self talk that you mentioned a few minutes ago about like, you know, your partner loves the way you look and that's why they're with you and your family loves who you are and your friends love who you are.
And none of these people are in your life because of the way you look. And I think that's a really powerful self talk, really powerful.
It's really, really important. And, you know, no one is ever judging you because they're so busy worrying about themselves. I think we also need to understand that no one cares about you. Everyone says we are a globe of narcissists. So, you know, to worry too much, I'd like I said, I think if we just tell people the truth, people are smart enough to make their own choices. It's only because we've been lied to for so long that we make these terrible.
And I feel like I remember a point of like realizing that Photoshopping was the thing of like seeing something. We're like, oh, that's not what they look like. If I were to see them on the street and I don't know what young people, what young women believe nowadays, but I love seeing accounts that show what goes into a face to and what goes into Photoshopping for me, if I'm drawing attention to it, it's not in some petty way.
It's just to let the young people know that this isn't reality. So if you want to touch up your photos, fine. We've been doing this since the beginning of time. It's magazines with Photoshop. Now it's two units, whatever. But like paintings. Let's just.
Right, let's say Halter in the paint. Yeah, it's the original. Yeah. Your original draw me like one of your French shows but make me skinny like just as long as people know you know, it's just like that's why I love what you do. It's just like most people are intelligent enough to make their own decisions, but let's give them the information and show them what's true and false. You're confronted with such a nightmare.
It's such a dangerous thing. It really, really, really made me hate myself when I was younger because I thought I had to live up to these people who didn't themselves look like that. And so I was covered in stretchmarks. I didn't know that that was normal, especially for a tall girl or someone who's gained weight so stretchmarks. All the cosmetics. I didn't know that acne could sometimes be normal as a teenager. I didn't know that that you were supposed to have little sort of lumps of child, some some places that you're not just skin and bone everywhere and that your legs aren't one hundred feet long.
I didn't know I. I felt so ugly because I couldn't match this like II version of what a woman is supposed to look like and it's so toxic and so dangerous and now face and being kind of democratized and Photoshop being democratized where anyone can use it on an app means that now you no longer have neurotic actresses and models trying to match this impossible beauty sound that you just have. Everyone teaches gym instructors, kids at school trying to live up to a digitally enhanced image.
And so I genuinely have always believed that plastic surgeons. Behind all these apps that can make you look more, quote unquote, attractive, because you can never no one is above looking in the mirror and comparing themselves to a digitally enhanced photograph and then feeling OK, it's very, very difficult to compare it to actual perfection, like eye levels, perfection, ex machina, perfection, and then look in the mirror and be like, I'm OK with my real life pause and stretch marks and cellulite is designed to make you then want to in real life, match your Photoshop to photograph.
So you'll go out and get the surgery, but you can sort of take the detoxes. It's all designed to just fuck women entirely in our brains, just like two dicks and either just fucking us in the brain. And it's working with the highest number of eating disorders we've ever seen, that highest number of self harm, highest numbers of teen cosmetic surgery.
It is consumerism is winning and we have to fight back and we can only fight back with information and solidarity and transparency, which is why the good place, I would never let them put makeup on my tits, which they would all like often a new makeup artist would try to do without even thinking, or she would try and put those red lines down the middle of my nose to make my nose thinner, which is a fucking racially insensitive thing to do.
That happens to me on every single step, which is why I now do all of my makeup for everything and have done since like twenty seventeen. I won't let anyone cover anything up about me. I won't let anything I do be photoshopped, even if it's the cover of Vogue. And when I did a billboard for the place, I insisted that I was not Photoshop even when it was a group job, which then made everything look a little bit weird.
But they had to deal with that because that's my rule, because I'm so dedicated to making sure that we are transparent.
It's so important that voice is like that today, because I. I can't even imagine what it's like growing up today. I mean, I have grown up with my my whole life. I've struggled with, like, body dysmorphia and looking at myself and thinking, you know, is this cellulite normal? I grew breast crazy young age and so do two or three, two breasts or two, two or three years old out of the womb.
How are you doing? I was like 11 and I needed a bra very early on, like in high school. I started taking photos. I just wanted to be just like skinny person. I wanted to disappear. I felt really insecure about the attention I got for men and the way my friends looked and blah, blah, blah. But yeah, it really affects you growing up. It affects the way that you date it affected the way that, like you said, stepping on a scale and having a really bad day.
I've had a lot of days like that and I think a lot of women have it's a struggle as a female and I even today and I've gained a bunch of weight through quarantine and my body's not in the fighting shape I want it to be. And I met this guy in a park the other day and my girlfriend was like roasting me so hard for how awkward I acted around him. And she's like, I won't like this because you were like, so bizarre.
But I was like, I don't feel good about myself. And it affects the way I approach dating. That's not every day for me, but I have sympathy for people that carry that with them every single day because it's a lot of weight mentally to carry.
It's an amazing way for women just to fill up the jetset for existing once again. So sorry, I'm taking too much space up. What was it that Kathryn Ryan, the comedian, was talking about? The fact that we mustn't take up too much space because a man might want to play golf there, might want to build a golf course that so we must women mustn't take up too much space. And I thought that was she's great. I'm really great.
I love that you have it sounds like just refused to let people edit you into an unrealistic version of yourself.
I think we really don't understand yet the tremendous dangers of Photoshop. I'm currently working on a tax incentive at the moment in Boston to try to create a bill that will give money to companies that and tax breaks to companies that do not Photoshop any of the photographs because it's literally false advertising. And it is crazy. It is crazy how powerful Photoshop and faced, you know, because I see all of these women and now it makes you a totally different person.
I mean, they look nothing like that. I'm not trying to shame them.
I'm just saying that I wish that I'd embrace that face. It was a shock to me when I saw them compared to the image that I've been fed. And it must really fuck with them because they feel embarrassed.
If I see myself on face to and and I'm pinching my stomach and my thighs and my arms and all these things you're internalizing fucks me up. And the way that I, I enter the world because I see what I like, quote unquote could look like and I don't look like that. And then it informs the other interactions I have, like with men where I'm like, well, you know, if I could just be ten pounds skinnier, like on face to face tune, you know, then I could feel better about myself.
And it fucks with your head really bad, really, really badly.
And it also fucks with men's head like it's a lot of my friends are really impacted now by social media because they have become hyper normalised the Photoshopped images, which is making it hard for them to get it up for regular women. Right.
Which is often those women in real life. They say women that they are. And so it's like impacting what they're attracted to. And so a lot of my male friends have now deleted Instagram and social media and porn because they hate making them very lonely and they are unable to find people they actually connect with because that penis is only responding to this like Lara Croft image that doesn't really exist in real life beyond Emily Rostowski. Like, it's just it's just wild.
We talked about watching, going back and watching the hills, like from so many years ago before this movement, really, we're like, oh, right. Normal pretty girls like without all of the enhancements and without all the things. And it's like the what women look like has just changed drastically.
It's truly just Angelina Jolie came along and everyone was like that. That is the perfect whitewashed version of of like a an exotic woman's eyes and lips, but on a white and acceptably white face and a skinny body, but with big breasts. Angelina Jolie and the intersection of her doing. Lara Croft changed the beauty standards forever. Everyone just looks like a shit Angelina Jolie or even a great Angelina Jolie, but that's what it is. Everyone wants to have the same, like, slanted eyes.
I mean, they're having those that's threading done that incredibly painful procedure where you actually stick a thread in your cheek and pull it up from the inside. And that's how all of a sudden all these celebrities have slanted eyes. It's called threading.
And they have been doing fucking Hollywood, where they all turn up and anesthetize themselves and put a thread through their cheeks that you can't ever get out until you hope that it dissolves and doesn't get infected inside of your body and it pulls your whole face off. And so it kind of hurts whenever you smile. And it's just that that's that's what creates that lifted. Look, look, I love telling people this shit because I just think we need to warn each other, do whatever you want, be honest about it.
But please, please be informed, because some of this shit has not been around very long and we don't know its long term impacts. I just feel very, very passionate about transparency, especially if you are profiting off your own beauty. If you are if you have a career, when you are given money and people aspire to let you tell the fucking truth, who cares?
It's it does bother me, though, because it's just gone too far. It goes back to the like. Now we have unrealistic standards of beauty. I don't know, like where's the line. It's just I go both ways, like there's no answer, but it's just like the other stuff I would fix about my face. Maybe I will one day, you know. But it's also kind of like how far is too far? Because now we're like part of the problem.
I don't know.
I think it's just very important to make sure that you spend your money on healing or inside before you spend your money on healing. That's that's that's my my priority is that all the money that I save that I would spend towards fixing my exterior, I put into therapy because I think that if we were to fix our insides, then we would be less fixated on fixing the outsides.
Yeah, that would be great. But in the meantime, it's like what women what beauty is is all fucked. Just be careful of what is going in.
Like, don't just me like be very mindful of who you're following online. I follow the head AIDS or the Kardashians or supermodels because they would make me feel naturally like shit about the way that I look. It would go in somewhere even as firm and as strong as I am and intellectually aware of what's happening. I would compare myself to them and then feel like shit about my clothes or my lifestyle or the way that I look. And so I make sure that I just follow artists and activists and writers and and people who teach me something.
Educators that I'm nourished. When I click on Instagram, I don't leave Instagram feeling like shit. And I think that you can really make a difference. I don't surround myself with people who encourage toxicity. I don't allow people who work with me to say coded things to me, like congratulate me around weight loss or comment on my weight when they think I need to be thinner. I am I have made sure that I have protected my bubble so well and we all have the power to do that.
Get away from a family member who is fat, shiny, or educate them, give them a chance, invite them to change the way that they're going to speak. Otherwise stop talking to them and change your feet. You don't have to see these images just torturing you.
I don't follow any the Kardashians. I don't follow any influencers just because they're hot. And so if if you want to feel you following fashion people because you like the fashion, the clothes, I mean, whatever, follow wherever you want to. But like women need to hear that. You can unfollow, you can mute. Like, what is the point? What is going in and what purpose is it serving? I realized I was following all these like revolve girls, you know, all these girls whose job it is to model cloth.
It's their job to be skinny and look beautiful. And I realized I was following all these accounts because I like the fashion and I had to start on following them because I just realized, like, I see these photos and it makes me, like, genuinely feel bad about myself and there's no reason to feel bad about myself. And I was looking at these and I was like, I don't know anything about these people. I never hear them talk.
I don't know if they're funny or smart. Interesting. It's their job to sell this clothing. And it doesn't make me feel good looking at that shit.
I think we should only ever do think there's enough in this world, this terrible, terrible world to feel bad about.
So why would we ever willfully bring that into our periphery? And so I think that we learn how to protect our physicality. We need to learn how to protect our mental health.
Absolutely powerful advice. Well, we don't want to talk about your relationship. You are in a relationship. We want to respect his privacy as well. But would you mind just telling us a little bit about it?
Yeah, I have been in a relationship with a man for almost six years. I think it's a really long time. It's my longest relationship by three times. And I we live together in Los Angeles. We've bought a house together I think is probably my forever person. And he thinks that I am his. And it's a very nice, equal relationship where we don't care about each other's careers. We just are best friends. And so it's been the healthiest relationship I have had with.
Have gone to therapy, so we took we didn't take our own baggage on each other. We both made sure to come into this with a clean slate and know that we weren't projecting any other bullshit from other people onto one another. And I just think it's the healthiest possible relationship for someone with my mental health record.
OK, and so through coronavirus and quarantining, how are you guys keeping it spicy, explaining how are you not or how are you not killing each other? You know how whatever you want to focus on where? Well, we're just like I said, we're best friends and we're both introverts, like, we're not super party people. So we know we don't like big beach people. So we've actually loved being in lockdown.
I I've never been the same. I am loving this. Yeah. I love this.
I love not going outside. And we got a puppy and so we're just raising this puppy together. We also have friends living with us and it's just been a really fun little nest for us and also just space for us to actually be able to help other people, which we can't do. And we're just doing our own stupid careers and things. And so this has been it's just been a it's also been a time of just there's so much to focus on in the world that we're not focusing on each other too much, you know?
I mean, so, like, it's it's also great because he's got Call of Duty and I have a podcast.
So we're doing those two different things. You're both our headset so that he can shoot the 12 year old's in another. Exactly. And and we both work from home anyway most of the time. So this for us wasn't too weird. I did have to address that. I've been wearing the same t shirt for four months though.
Every day, like, you know, I haven't let myself go.
I loved quarantine because I don't run out of shower fan. I'm a big fan of Bowering. I hate being wet. Well, I mean, I like you. I like this. Yeah. It's the only that's everything. And that's my vibe. WAP only only below the belt. Yeah. Yeah. We loved having you and we would love for you to tell people where they can find you, learn more from you, read more from you, plug all of your things.
I'm truly just an expert on my own experience, but I have been learning from some great people on the podcast which made a Gmail and on my YouTube channel, which is just for automated Gmail, where I interview experts and doctors and scientists, young activists from around the world, and they educate me in real time. So you kind of watch that happen. And I also have now been able to start getting activists that own shows on my YouTube channel. So they get to interview other people and other celebrities that they love.
It's a very inclusive space and please follow my way, which is I underscored on Instagram because we are a super safe and inclusive space where you are almost definitely going to find and see someone who looks like you and see that person being celebrated, respected. And it's the most loving community of people who just cheer each other on all the time. It's truly my favorite place on the Internet. So I would say that we have a website I like community dot com that's full of amazing writers and artists.
And you can follow me on the Internet if you don't mind, a lot of swearing, which is made it official.
And people can find all that information about you on our website and the absolute description on iTunes Abasto description. Spotify actually puts that all in there when she writes all description. So that will all be there. If you guys forget all this stuff. It's on all of our stuff for resources, too. Yeah. Thanks for having me, guys. Thank you for joining us, love. Well, that concludes our interview with Jameelah. You guys stick around.
We will be right back with a fun segment to round out this episode. All right, guys, we are back, and what we decided to do for the End segment was inspired by Djamila and her IWA community that she talked about. And basically we asked you guys to tell us what you weigh in terms of what defines you. We got some really great responses. Yes, we did. And of course, Ashley and I always want to read you the funny ones, and we're going to ping pong those back and forth.
But we were both so impressed by all the stuff that you guys are proud of in your lives and the things that you say really define you. So I'm just going to rattle off like a couple ones that were just such a huge common theme. And then we're going to make you guys laugh with the other ones. But, you know, so many people sad the way I treat others, my ability to bounce back, my authenticity and my strength, my resilience, my ambition, my pets, my work ethic, my humor and my empathy, integrity, education, badass career and being a good friend, daughter, sister, mother, partner.
And I was always really inspired by all that. And there's no shock here because we love you guys so much. We're always inspired by you. So with that being said, the rest, these are super inspirational as well. And funny, I'm going to actually start with our NVP of response. You give her. She never fails us straight out the gate. She's always right at the top to Jenny Jones says she weighs her wits and her tits, which new martial art.
She writes poems and my ability to wrap those bars. More than half the responses. My wife. No shock there. Can you imagine? Someone's like, what do you say? You're like, I don't know. What is this wet ass pussy way? This is pussy work. What's your walkway? Drop these two pounds on you.
I'm a chubby vaid, so my wife definitely weighs like at least three pounds parked this big Mack truck right in this little garage, right in this fat garage. That's the best line of the whole thing. It is the best line. I want to learn to dance, OK? I'm committed to learning to dance. You have to I you're at the lake. You doing nothing but time. I can't. I'm staying with my brother right now. What do you want to be more.
You're like that. Wah wah wah.
OK, the next response, living alone for the first time and finally being financially and emotionally independent girl.
I feel like I didn't do this on purpose, like ping pong, these back and forth to be like really sweet and then really disgusting.
My ability to be better than man at everything, especially finger and especially finger like.
Do you think she's figuring women like she I took it to mean fingering other women, but like also fingering her. Whatever you want to finger.
I'm glad that you're better at it than men are more better and then everything. It's so true. OK, the next one. She says she is a DACA student, daughter of Mexican immigrants, scientist and activist. All the things go off this next one, which is very simple. My muffin top. OK, I feel that that's my problem area. The next one, she is hot Cheetos. How many Cheetos? You it hot Cheetos. Awesome.
My relationship with my mother and being a dog mom. That was nice girl. I feel like it is me. I am the funniest person I know. Yes I remember. Everybody seems to be like the only person that thinks Ashley's funny is Ashley. And I was like thank you for saying the next one. She says, I weigh not a fucking man. That's for damn sure. It doesn't make sense, but I respect it nonetheless. I wrote it down just I heard you say it.
That's why I wrote it down. Yeah, I heard it my yeah. I guess she was like, what defines you? Not a fucking man, that's for damn sure. She sounds fresh off a breakup. But I respect I feel like I her I feel Ashley in that sense. The next line running for public office in the county where Amanda Berry was killed. I am twenty seven and female. I love that stance for all women in office more than ever.
OK, the way I care about others also I'll be my blowjob skills. Something to be proud of. I love the ones you just don't see coming. It's like I'm so sweet. Also, I suck Dick. Well, yeah, um. I trust in love people when my shitty exes have done nothing but give me reasons not to go. I'll keep your head out of it. Being a first generation college graduate, I love that my ability to say fuck it and walk my head high like I'm the best thing on this planet.
Yes. Save my courage to change my career after three years of school and four years of working. I love that it's never too late to make a change and live your truth. My purpose in life is to help others social work, mental health, addiction therapy, all of this fat ass.
Yes, OK, friendships, activism, alcohol.
One night stands in that order. I love that. In that order, don't get it twisted.
She's like friendships are still important, but one night stands. Also, I go with my friends. We go to a rally that we get drunk. Then I fuck somebody. In that order, I suck up a stranger. This next one is for you. My cute little cute butthole. I mean, I don't know what my actual butthole looks like, I know I have a long ass crack, but I don't I've never gotten in there and looked right up in the bee hole measure.
It's like you've never bent over and, like, peered into it.
Oh, yeah, I have. I guess I guess I've just brought, like, a mirror back there. But yeah, I've been over Ace Ventura style and spread my cheeks. No butthole.
There's a brown eye back there on the next YouTube video of girls got to actually bends over and talks with her butt cheeks. Yeah. Straight out of nineteen ninety four here. Recommended it off. I have a pink butthole so I have a lot of like color consistency through my whole area. You probably have a cute butthole. There's tons of stuff wrong with me and the ugliest feet of all time. But my beagle is an excellent color probably of supporting myself and my kids with no financial help from their father.
Man, if I could give it up for all the mothers, but especially the single mothers, especially during this time, like we respect and support you, we are slow clapping you all the way. All right. My strong thighs allow me to squat more weight than most men can. And yeah, they jiggle too.
That is such a flex at the gym. You just look out squat every man. I can't do one squat. So that girl Fox is good for you girl. My quality of life I can provide for my dog and how much I love my dog. Ashley can relate. I love that. There's just so much pride in being a good dog. Mom, I now have these responses where we're about people's dogs we love. How do you know if you're a good dog?
Mom do. He's bad. So I'm not. Dewey seems happy and I think that your manager is happy. He's a good life. I can eat seven pounds of chicken wings in one sitting and not give a fuck. I love that and I love that. She did bring pounds into it. She's like, I weigh seven pounds of fucking chicken wings. I was trying to like, do the math in my head of how many how many chicken wings is seven pounds.
How many do you think, a pound of chicken wings because you're not eat already.
When you think about how much food you get off of a chicken wing, it's so little like seven pounds. I could be like a ton of I don't know, OK, using my law degree and argumentation skills to help asylum seekers. I love that. I wish I could argue for living my incredible ability to make any situation awkward with my dark sense of humor and sarcasm. Right. I snuck this one. Did I write this how I treat others?
Work ethic, perseverance, vulnerability and that. What else. Pussy.
I just she like she punctuated each one with an exclamation point. I reread this how I treat others work ethic, perseverance, vulnerability and that wet ass pussy. Thank you. I've never commented that I can make people smile, my resilience to negativity and the number of tequila shots that I can take.
I respect how many though I would lb I would ok. This one was for me and I love it. My ability to smile even on tough days, my family and my big backpack energy. If you guys didn't listen last week I actually brought a backpack on a date with the Honda two weeks ago and unashamed you know what, it's twenty twenty and I just honestly don't think you should be backpack shaving.
I showered in like six days. I'm out of leg. OK, I could shave anybody for anything. That's fair. All right. Last one to believe in myself standards and the unapologetic writing off of assholes. No apologies, no apologies necessary. Do a girl. Well, thank you guys so much. This was so great to read. I'm glad that we did this and found out what you guys think defines you. We love it. We're always inspired by you, but no shock there.
You guys are amazing. And I mean, if you have a dry pussy, I don't know. I feel like you're maybe that girl. That's good. Maybe that girl it's fingering can reach out to some of you. Yeah.
Yeah. Is right. Listen, if your voice is not wet ass, it's not your fault. It's a man's man's fault. All right, guys. Well, we hope you enjoyed this episode and Djamila and all the things you can find, everything you need to know about us girls. Got a podcast, dot com click on live shows. Get those tickets to our virtual stupid live show on September 2nd. We can't wait to see you guys. There are so many ways of attacking us and you're getting the tickets and we're so excited to party with you guys and make you laugh.
On September 2nd, Girl's Got to Eat podcast on Instagram. Ash has and Raina Greenberg on Instagram, girls in her score got it on Twitter and YouTube. Dotcom slash girl's got to eat and that's all.
That's it guys. Have a great week I.