And I feel like his place isn't in the finances just as much as your place isn't in the fucking kitchen, like stop trying to marry a breadwinner and go out there and learn how to be a breadwinner.
Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls. Gary, welcome back. February 1st in the tundra, seven degrees outside. But that's not our favorite, but it is our special night as our anniversary is this much today. If you're listed on Monday, February 1st is the day I moved to New York City.
February in twenty seventeen for your anniversary. I love you.
I love New York City. And I love that you still celebrate it. I celebrate mine. I was Labor Day and I still celebrate reason to celebrate in these dark times. Yeah. All right. Well, before we get into that, let's take a couple of our partners. Thank you, Ernest. Ernest is offering our listeners a one hundred dollar cash bonus. Refinance your student loan debt at Earnest's dotcom sluggy terms and conditions apply and the MLS number one two zero four nine one seven.
And thanks to Bridezillas for supporting girls, Gary Bridezillas is the personalized wine subscription company that matches you to wines based on your tastes. Visit Bridezillas Dotcoms LECG to get 50 percent off your first six bottle box. Yes, and thanks to Hello Toshie for supporting girls. Got to eat. Now the brand new gelato sheet, three point 3.0 Modern Bidet Attachment is here to level the playing field for the rump you love to hump. Wow, OK. This Valentine's Day give the gift of Hello Tenshi.
Go to hell. Literally Dotcom's Sergie to get ten percent off plus free shipping. And thanks to Rory for supporting girl's got to eat. Go to Hello Rory Dotcom Slog to try out your personalized treatment for just five dollars. The rump you love. I really I love to have a partner that's like promoting bad stuff just straight up. Like they're like these are our talking points and they wanted they actually like these are their Valentine's Day talking points. I mean, Valentine's Day, but stuff.
I am here for it. Honestly. We've seen the flowers and the chocolates in the hearts. This is a new frontier. Yeah. Twenty, twenty one. We're doing bad stuff on Valentine's Day. It's not just for birthdays anymore. Oh my gosh. OK, we have a few quick announcements. We're going to get through them and then we're going to get into all the stuff. We have an email list now. Yes, we do. You can sign up for it.
Announcements? Yeah, there's a pop up on our website. If you can just sign up for our email list and we will send you coupon offers. Yeah, I'm shows, merch, whatever. Yeah. And really our goal is that the people on the email list get everything first. So the announcement of live shows and especially when we get back out on the road, whenever that may be, those people are going to get the tickets first or they're going to have access to the tickets first because they're going to know about it first.
New merch, like whatever it is. And, you know, maybe one day we're just going to want to say hi, we're going to give out a little but stuff. Valentine's Day tip, who knows? We're going to do whatever. We give us your emails. We want to talk to you. What if you open your email? I was just like Bitstamp tips from girls guy. He was just top ten. But step ten is premium content.
I think we have a beautiful newsletter and I want said I want both stuff. Yeah, exactly. So sign up for that. And like we said, announcements about live shows. We do have a virtual live show coming up. It is Thursday, February 11th. It is going to be incredible. You do not want to miss it. Watch it with your Valentines, whoever those are, whether it's your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your best friends, your parents, your dog, like whatever, you will not be sorry.
We have so much fun stuff and it just keeps getting better. Better. We just keep adding to the lineup and it just keeps getting like, so much better. I'm sorry about the guest list. I'm also so we have to just talk about you are my history with Valentine's Day together. Yes. So I get all of them together and we just and we just planned a nice little romantic week together. You know, it's a tradition. Both Valentine's Day.
We're going to go to 80 years old. We like I still have to spend Thursday day with her, at least not to spend it with these wrinkly old balls, not mine.
My my hypothetical husband. Yeah, cool. We're totally going to have those of. Yeah. So that's one thing. One quick thing and I'll let a pop off about the merch is tonight we're doing a spin class in honor of Dewey. Bobby West Side, our friend is you've heard us talk about him before and he does these cycling classes like their resume. But you sign up at his website and we were kind of like talking about it. And I kind of mentioned something jokingly and he was like, I would be so honored to do this for Dewey.
And honestly, there's just so many things that go with Dewey. Like he is just we were going through the playlists and there's like so much that applies everything from like, I don't fuck with you too savage to swagger like us, like to halo, you know. So there's some teasers I so like emotional about it. It's going to be great. Is coming tonight at six thirty and you can sign up at Bobby West Side Dotcoms. Osugi there is going to be a cap because only a certain amount people can be and and so get it out is a ten dollar Venmo.
You're in a Venmo him and we're going to be in there and we're going to be riding along and it'll be in honor of our of our king. Couple of things. I this is the first time I've ever worked out together. But I do need to bring us together. See, he was the great unifier, but I just like we won't even be like together. Do you want to come out? We'll hear you say you mentioned wheeling the Palatine downstairs.
You could wheel it all the way to my place. What if I just wheeled the Palatine three avenues? You want to work out if you do that, you've done the work, you're like here it as by, but we'll be together in spirit. So anyway, I was there. So this is the person we work out. And if you guys can't get in that class, Bobby has tons of classes. I take them all the time. They're ten dollars a class.
Then you could do it on demand. Probably. He goes OnDemand. I take him on the AC live. That's his girlfriend. But there are a lot of fun. I just enjoy their dynamic together. So fun. I've never seen a couple just like work out like one of them does. The work on the other one just like calls out shit makes fun of the other person. It's a very funny dynamic anyway. Bobby Whiteside it's ten dollars classes for and I take them all the time.
Yeah. What do you think on our Instagram story. But it's just it's going to be just like this, just dewees his his legacy is living forever. I am making sure I'm so excited for the playlist. I feel like you were meant to build this playlist. Did you better to Bobby. We collaborated like he sent me what he was thinking. I was like same page. He said, he said irreplaceable. And I said, We're going with Halo.
I'm glad to hear that. He goes, What about rude boy?
I'm like, perfect. Now everyone knows also my favorite playlist. It's going to be so good. You know what? I take like the same workouts over and over again because I'm very specific about playlet. I know this is going to be my favorite one. So you guys aren't going to get in. Yeah, we'll see you guys there. OK, I can't talk about that. Yeah, I met guys. We have all the mercury released last week.
I am so proud of it. We worked so hard on this. There's so many new items. You guys are loving the fuck around and find out cursive, everything, the crops, the hoodies, everything. We're just we're really proud of it. You guys stormed the store. You're buying the mugs, all the sayings, hear me out. Vibe's only the snack had merge. There is Cavs, beanies, everything. Just check it out. It's all on our website.
It Girlguiding podcast, don't shop. Remember to check your orders before you place the order, but we're just so excited to see you guys buying all this. Please keep tagging us and photos of the merch. We just love to see you guys. You're styling at the gym, at home, wherever you are. So you tagging us in that we're really, really proud and excited. Yes, I love it. Fuck around and find out as big duey energy also.
Yeah. See who carries on forever. So go online, sign up for the let's get the merge. The live shows you so much doubt that we're so proud of or excited you guys wanna be a part of it and you're part of our family. OK, something that I want to be a part of is catching up on this date. Yeah. Oh whatever. I like we if you're on the streets you're dating. I've done the streets are too cold.
It's having a great time. Yeah. No, no. This is a date with the thirty nine year old. I said I was going to date older guys and whatever like I, I did I, it was fine, I he kind of botched where we were going to be.
The place you want to go was closed and we went to another place that I literally felt like we were at the fire festival, like we were in like a shitty tent drinking hot soki out of a plastic cup. I love every time you see a plastic cup, I laugh so hard, I just imagine it just like melting. I was like, I love the plastic aftertaste on this hot. I also like hatzakis. It kind of trashy too, right.
It's like it's actually like. Yeah. Like why I made this plastic bag drinking. It was so it was, the setting was awful.
I was freezing. I was like, we're done here, we're done doing this. And there are some setups that are really great in New York City. There are setups not when it's seven degrees out. No, nothing is going to keep you warm outdoors. But there are a lot of great outdoor dining setups even when it's cold out. And this was not one of them. So it was physically uncomfortable. The day was fine. It was fine.
I was like, I wasn't thinking, this is my guy. But then just like kind of something weird happened. I was like kind of left the day and I was like, I would go out with him again if I wasn't like, so turned off by him. But then as soon as he got in his car to we just like hugged out on the corner and then he got in a car and he was like texting me a bunch. Like as soon as he left the date, which I'm like, oh, that's like a sign that someone's very into you.
So you know me. I'm like, you like me. I'll give it a chance, right. All you know, just turns me on like me. I was like, oh, like I maybe he's just more shy, which I could tell he's just a he's just a more you know, old life has been around. Yeah. He is just really old.
He was tired. Thirty nine life man. Is it over. Yeah. Yeah. It is weird though I will say like the energy is different on a thirty nine year old man as opposed to like a twenty eight year old which I would you I had been dating. So anyway I was just like OK maybe he's just like more reserved, he's not as outgoing as me and he was like a little more shy and now he's like he's had a couple teen years out of a plastic cup and he's like wanting to like, see, Alice is starting.
He's eligible for the vaccine. He's like, I'm just having a few side effects from the vaccine.
He's like, back in my day we had to walk to school because we didn't have a car.
So he was hitting me with these tax, like kind of recapping funny stuff from the date. And then he said something along the line that we were joking about how terrible the study was. It was like, I feel like we're on a date, a fire festival, whatever he was like in. Made it harder to flirt. I'm like, oh, shit, you know, because he was trying to be kind of touchy. I was like, OK, so this is somebody I will go out with again.
I was even kind of like looking forward to it. I'm like, oh, cool. Like, I can get to know this guy a little better. He's very attractive. I did find it very attractive. Absolutely. He's he's very he's really brings good face. And then the next day I texted him something that was kind of relevant to what we had talked about, the date. It was an article and he responded a few hours later, which is fine, middle of the workday.
I know he has a kind of a high powered job. He's busy. And then I responded to that and then nothing. So I will say that I feel like that's usually a pretty clear sign, you know what I mean? Like, essentially, you kind of left me on. I thought we were going to have a conversation. I thought you were into this part of your behavior last night, texting me a bunch, mentioning that you wanted to be more flirty, yadda, yadda.
But I just don't care enough. You know, I'm going through my own stuff. I don't you know, it's a pain in the ass to date anyway. It's fucking freezing. So I just let it be. And I do think had I felt that this was a real match for me that we really connected, I would have hit him one more time with like I would love to go out again because again, like we always say, I'm still a stranger.
We spent two hours of our life together. It was cold. It was weird. He might not be knowing how I'm feeling. And I think it's always fine to go back in and, like, just know for sure, you know what I mean? If you really feel a vibe with somebody, you really want to see them again, like really deep in your gut. You want to be like, hey, I had a great time. Listen, I would love to go out again.
And then then you'll know. Then you'll know if they want to see you again. And to me, I didn't care that I didn't care enough. I felt like it was kind of a clear indicator that he didn't try again. The last I sent the last text, you know, and in the grand scheme of it all, like it's it's quote unquote his turn. If I was really into him, I would have tried a little harder. I don't want to say that was it.
I did it and usually sleep tonight. You know, it's not personal. Like you said, you're a stranger who cares. No, you and I, if I text him now and was like, hey, you know what? We should grab a drink sometime when it maybe it's a little warmer out or when indoor dining starts again or whatever, I'm pretty sure he would probably go out with me again, like, what else is he doing? What else am I doing?
But it's just like I just we're probably not a match. And so that's that. And I just think, like, it's funny you did ask me.
You're like, are you are you still trying to be out here as it gets really cold? I'm like, bitch. Now, I don't know how long you lasted. I mean, I don't want to do it. It's too cold. I can't my my my juices are not flowing in the cold. I don't want to do it. I lasted one hour at a restaurant last night and that was it. And I and that was with one of my closest friends.
So with a stranger for me to be like, so what was me siblings growing up. Yes. OK, you do this thing now that I actually didn't think much right the second, but I really like it. I think a lot of people are like watching my first follow up after a date. And I love the idea of sending an article because it's purposeful. It's not digging for like. Did you have a good time last night? Can I see you again?
It's just like I listen to this thing you said I found this thing I thought was interesting. Also, I can read, you know. Yeah. I think it's like a very purposeful, awesome follow up to a first date. If you're like, I don't know what to say. I want to see this person again. It automatically opens up a conversation and it just shows somebody that you care about, something that they said. I love this follow up.
Well, thanks for saying that. And also, I thought we had a rapport going like we traded a number of tax the night before post day. Like, I, I felt comfortable doing that. I thought we were really if I'm being completely honest, I was like, oh, I really do think that we're going to go out again and maybe I'll like enjoy him a little bit more in a better setting now that we're got that first awkward date on the way.
But yeah, so I felt totally comfortable just being like, oh, here's I thing we talked about last night and then just kind of felt like he just didn't give a fuck anymore. Again, I might have been those soccer teams. Maybe he's a lightweight soccer team. I cannot it was a nightmare. Probably checked into a nursing home and then. Oh my God, stop it. If you think not personal, I mean personal, personal. Maybe if that guy was like, I want to marry her, but that probably isn't going to happen.
Doesn't it's not that's that's a fair that's in the movies. That's fairy tales like, you know, the love at first sight on a first date. I think it can happen, but it's rare. And then like a few days ago, Rayna, just out of the blue starts when she's like, so all the data you've been on recently.
And she just starts naming off all these first dates I've been on. I did not know where she was going with it. I was like just looking her like, is this a roast? You would you say you were like I was like, listen, there's been I'm trying to like, you've got so many. Do you really want to hit the street? There's old man, there's girl voice, there's friendzone, there's firefighter. And then there's a piece of shit.
I can't go with a better name because I actually thought about, like, doing a funny segment today, but I couldn't hide it from you because I was going to tell you, like not look at transcripts, right. Where I asked girls to send us the funniest names that they have in their phones for dudes. I was like piece of shit like what do I call that guy? But anyways, yes, I was rattling off all these guys because I was I didn't know why I there was no contact.
That's true. I didn't give it to bringing up all the failed. Potential relationship, so beyond his girl voice was pretty funny, though. Girl, yeah, you were like, OK, so I'll be in girl voice friend zone fireman piece of shit again guys, these have all been outside. We all talk about covid beforehand. I'm doing my best to keep you safe. Yeah, they're always. Yeah I've always been, I'm not, I'm not like going in like mugging it down and like I'll it out of there also.
Not all this week. Indoor orgy spread out since like September, but. Yeah. And the reason why you're asking is you were asking me who paid because we were chatting about just money in general. They have actually all they all paid except girl voice.
And then I will say, like of those five guys I knew I would never see a girl I knew I would never see Michael Jackson again. So I hang tight. OK, so I was his voice was Michael Jackson. I don't have Wisconsin full. That's kind of like it was the most HIGH-PITCHED feminine softest voice I've ever heard outside of, you know, the king of Pop himself. But I really wanted to make it known like I don't want you spending any money on me.
We're going to go have these on this. Like I put my card down. It was like, I insist.
I really didn't give you any context where I was asking. But I'm I'm just very curious and I feel like my view on who should pay has changed as we've done this podcast longer. And I think when we first started, I just felt like everybody should pay for me for a first date. Of course, I now always offer to split on a first date. I don't think anybody owes me any money and I feel the same way you said it really well.
Nobody, like nobody should be on the hook for an entire evening, you know. So if I can offer to split, I'm not going to make it weird. But like, I make a real effort to actually split. Like, I don't just, like, gesture for my purse, like I really offer. And I'm not going to, like, fight you fine if you want to pay for it. But I don't think anybody owes me anything.
I think that, you know, whatever if that's what you think is chivalry and you need to be treated like that, I need to pay for everything. That's fine. Everybody has their own boundaries. It's not my truth. I don't think anybody owes me anything. It has to pay for a first date or any dates. I'm happy when people pay. I'll I'll offer to do an actual I go to bring my card out. I'm not playing around.
I'm happy to split. But like you asked me out, we've had a couple drinks. Just get it. Don't make it weird. I'm not going to fire you for it. Yeah, I'm not going to make it weird and be like I have money to, you know. Yeah, they know you have money too. You're there. You have like a full blown conflict on a first date. Yeah. So yeah. But those, those guys were all great about it and and girl voice you know, I insisted.
So maybe we'll, we'll tap into this at a later date. Like the pain thing. We've been hearing some crazy stories about guys asking for Venmo is after a day and things like that. So we might talk about that on a future episode. But yeah. So we are about to get into it. We just have a few quick recommendations for you guys. Yeah, I'm I'm really excited for this recommendation because your friend Rob recommended our friend Rob FLAC on Amazon Prime.
It is an Amazon original series and it's about Anna Paquin, who is the star of it. She's an American living in London and she's a PR girl. And it's just about this, like really dark, seedy underside of, like, celebrity emergency PR culture. Oh, I love it because I think they're like there's so many shows about, like girls working in PR and this one's like pretty dark. And I like that a lot. She has a Coke problem.
She's an infidelity problem. Her sister sister's a part of it as well. And they focus a little bit on the other people that work there. But it's not so glossy and cute. And I, I liked it. It's a little bit dark and heavy. Their mother has committed suicide. She's dealing with that. So a lot of different like themes. It's also pretty funny and sarcastic. Oh, so if you guys wanna check it out, it's a series on Amazon Prime.
I really enjoy it. I like Anna Paquin a lot too. I was mean fan liked her and all the X-Men I know her from. She's all that she and she's all she's all that. She was Freddie Prinze Junior sister.
Remember she did her she did her makeup before the prom. It was her. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm going to Oggi Anna Paquin fan and she just I think she went to the prom too. OK, I have two quick ones. They're both on HBO, HBO backs, whatever this one is called. The first one is a movie. And this is called The High Note. And this came out last year in twenty twenty Tracee Ellis Ross and Dakota Johnson it on the huge Dakota Johnson fan.
No, I just, I love her like I think she has amazing range of Fifty Shades of Grey she was and how to be single. She is comedic timing. I'm, I'm a huge fan and also Tracee Ellis Ross is just a queen. I mean, we're, you know, who doesn't love Tracy, all of them. So Tracy Ellis Ross plays this kind of superstar singer a comparable to like a Celine Dion, that kind of thing, you know, the kind of person that would have like a Vegas residency.
But they're not like putting out a bunch of new hits. And Dakota Johnson's a personal assistant. It taps in the music industry. It's great. It's I think it's a really feel good movie. I like the story. It was it was fun to watch. And I just loved both of those actresses. And then the other one is I made destroyable, which.
I feel like some of you guys probably heard of this, I every time I watched Insecure, I would get an ad for this after it, like a lot like in twenty twenty. So this was a 20 20 show. It is about sexual assault, rape. So a trigger warning there. It's a British show. It takes place in London. It's about this woman. Her name is Arabella in the show and she is raped and doesn't really remember.
And she's trying to piece it together. And then it's the aftermath, dealing with the trauma and everything from her job. She's a writer and she's kind of like on her way to being like Lokey famous, the guy she was dating before her friends. They have their own storylines as well. And they just they really tackle a lot regarding sexual assault and consent. So it's like the subject matter is heavy, but the show itself is it makes you think a lot.
And there's some parts are a little hard to watch, but it's like it's not filmed. So like dark and dramatically, I guess, like there is some comic relief here and there. Like it feels a little bit like the way it's shot is more is kind of like insecure and the music too. So really great rap and hip hop music throughout the whole show. And the person responsible for this whole show is McKayla Cole. She created, wrote, directed and executive produced and stars in it go off.
She's that she's incredible. You're like, what am I doing if my life makes me feel very lazy? Yeah. So I do recommend it. I do understand some people may not want to watch that. For the subject matter, I personally have not experienced sexual assault. But what I imagine and also from reviews and articles I've read on the show for survivors of sexual assault, the show can be really relatable and healing. So, yeah, I made a story on HBO and it treats the subject matter with respect.
Yeah, I'm excited to check it out. My very last track is something very light that I'm excited to to say, and it's a book called From Scratch. It is the history of the Food Network and been wanting to want to read something that is lighter. Recently I grew up on the Food Network and I'm like Emeril and Bobby Flay and all these people, and that's who babysat me after school. I thought, if you guys are just interested in all its great history of food, TV, television in general, of food in general.
So check that out from Scratch was written a few years ago. It is all light. Nice, easy. Take your mind off it. Read. OK, well we have a really exciting episode today. Very excited. It is about money. We've never done this before. We really focus on tips and and just ways to actually invest your money no matter where you sit financially. So we're excited to focus on that. If you guys want really relationship based money episodes about dating somebody that makes more money than you and you make more money than that, things like that, there's two that will recommend we did mo money, mo problems.
That was July 9th, twenty eighteen point 9th, 2000. That was my birthday and twenty eighteen by twenty.
This I was a baby barely aged a day. And actually I talk about our relationship history dating people who make less money than us that we are no longer with. And also on April 8th, twenty nineteen, we did have so-called money talks with Remeet. He's a financial advisor, also a really fantastic episode, more relationship based Bennett and great role play at the end. How to ask for a raise. Yeah, yeah. So yes, my money mo problems July 2018, Money Talks, April twenty nineteen.
And we have an incredible guest here with say her name is Nicole Victoria. We'll get in touch with her shortly. I want to say really one disclaimer. As we create this content, we obviously know we're living in a covid pandemic world, but we still want our content to be evergreen and we don't want to base everything around the pandemic because it's not going to last forever. And but some things I do want to keep in mind, like we're talking about money today.
We know people have lost their jobs. We know people are like, I don't have any fucking money. How how are you how am I supposed to talk about investing money? Understandable. I didn't have money to invest when I was in my twenties job or not, you know, so I want to just be sensitive to that. These tips to me are going to be great, especially for, I think, younger listeners to like just really think about this stuff.
Even if you don't put it into action, you know, like I wish I just want to listen to a podcast episode like this when I was twenty five, when I was fucking broke and I wouldn't have necessarily signed up and started investing that day, but it would have got the wheels turning. And I think it's just really great advice that we can all use. And then we also we're talking about women choosing to work or not work, make it income, not make an income.
And I think we need to be sensitive to the fact that a lot of women have had to leave their jobs or they've gotten let go from their jobs. And I think overwhelmingly all the like, I think it's some crazy stat of like ninety percent of jobs have been lost due to covid have it's been women because women are the ones are having to stay home and mothers, I mean, stay home and take care of their kids. And we know there are so many moms out there that are like home with their kids and they would rather be at work, you know.
So I just want to be sensitive to all these things. We know we're not living in a quote unquote normal world, but we're kind of giving advice as if we are because that's what we want to do and want to have this these these episodes live forever. And we want you to to really kind of give you advice that is long lasting. So just always want to be sensitive to that. And, you know, people are dealing with a lot of shit, but we still want to be out here trying to get the.
Advice and it's stuff that I wish I would have known in my 20s and early 30s, I wish I would have known this like last week, I don't know. And we talk about this. I was like, I got too far. I couldn't ask. So it's very funny that we're talking about the stock market a little bit today with like, what's going on. This is the first time you've ever texted me and asked me if I know what's going on with the GameStop stuff.
Do I do like can I explain it now? But yeah, like I watch the news. I mean, basically these people read it, like realize that this hedge fund was like shorting the GameStop stock and they bought a bunch of it, jacked the price up. And the hedge fund basically is billions of dollars out because of these Brada people. So I don't know. These people gamed the system, essentially, which is funny that it's called GameStop and basically almost put this hedge fund out of business.
I don't know. I don't know if they declared bankruptcy or not, but they lost billions of dollars. So anyway, I just thought that was interesting that the court this is like what's in the news and we are talking about those stocks today. But anyway, so I thought that was interesting. And the games have been great as always. Yeah, well, maybe we'll think a couple of our partners and then we will get right into it with the call.
OK, I am telling you guys about haloed. She like we mentioned before, so this is a sleek bidet attachment. This is the future of toileting. And they make a bidet affordable because in the past they've always been really expensive and really only available to like the the rich. So the brand new Hello Toschi 3.0 is here to level the playing field. So even if you have a health, Jocie, you want to upgrade, you're going to get the 3.0 when you order it.
Stylish, eco friendly, easy to install. And it's unfordable and it cleanses your body with a precise stream of fresh water. And then it also cleans itself before and after. So that's really great. It has a self-cleaning nozzle. So it's going to keep everything really, really clean and in your bathroom and it attaches to your existing toilet, requires no electricity or additional plumbing cuts or toilet paper use by 80 percent. So it really pays for itself and it's great for the environment.
And we love it. We both have them. I have the three point zero. I already have one of my toys. I'm actually gifting the three point zero to my brother this week. I'm going to see him and really surprise him. He wants a hello Toshie on every toilet in their house. They have three bathrooms. He's like, we need three. He wants his fiancee to have that clean bill. He wants whatever room I want to get it in.
I wanted to not, like, live without it. And you guys know, I pride myself on my clean bowl. I love that it helps the environment, too. I have the Hello Toshie bamboo towels. I recommend them. So I just spray wipe with a towel and I'm out of there clean. Be ready to be eaten for Valentine's Day. Which towel? This is the one I know. I use bamboo towels. The Hello tushy. Yeah.
Yeah. No I don't wipe my butt with my God. So yeah we, we are big fans. This is a great Valentine's gift but it is so it's a great any time. Give treat yourself the and I didn't we ever really mentioned before but there's the Hello Jocie standard and then there's the spa and that is temperature control. So you can get warm water coming out of that. That's feels like that's orgasmic here. To be honest. You can just splurge like it's not that much more and you can do the spa are just kind of still work.
And the spa one has the pink, which I love. So if I were to pick one, it's going to be that pink. Hello. She spies. You get that warm water, just cleanse in your bowl. Happy Valentine's Day. OK, we have a discount for you guys for the romp you love to hump. Like it's just like we know you do a doggie. OK, for the rub, you love to have this Valentine's Day.
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I see Ask.com Sluggy and get fifty percent off your first six bottle box. All right. All right, guys, we are very excited for our guest today. She is a CEO, money coach and financial literacy advocate who specializes in helping women effortlessly manage their money and build bank accounts that never stopped growing her brand. The no budget game is filled with coaching programs and courses to help you achieve your maximum financial potential without restrictive budgets and giving up what you love.
Please welcome to the show, Nicole Victoria. Yeah, thanks so much for having me.
I'm so excited to be here today.
Thanks for being here. We're excited to have you. So you're coming to us from Toronto in lockdown. Lockdown. It's been fun stuck inside the house. It's snowing all week, so it's been great. You look great.
Do you wear this much makeup every day? It's just for us. You look beautiful.
It's just for you. I appreciate it. I like set up my little desk here in front of my window, like the natural light. And I know we love it because we have gas in there, just like in the dark. They're backlit. We're like, get it together. I'll only men, of course, women. You know what they're like. I need to look. You look great. I was like for quarantine. Look, it's not I do not look like this on a day to day level.
I met with my virtual assistant this morning. We're on Zuman like, sorry to remind me of my friends.
Like, over here on the side we feel well, we're excited to talk about money. We haven't done an episode specifically on money in about two years. We would love to just hear from you, like how you became an expert at this in general.
Yeah, I mean, so I think I followed kind of a stereotypical path of what most millennials have done. They go to school, they get into crippling student loan debt. They get the nine to five job where they sit at the office every day. And they're like, okay, this is what I was supposed to do, to be happy and like achieve success or whatever it is. And I'm sitting there in my little cubicle and I'm looking around and I'm like, I can't afford a house.
I can't save for my wedding, I can't do any of these things. And I'm like, how do I how do I get to this next level? I'm like, how do I get happiness that everyone told me I was going to have once I did all of these things. And I'm looking around me at the people that have the promotions, like maybe I just need a promotion and maybe that's how I'm going to get this happiness. And I'm looking at these people.
I'm like, I'm not fucking happy there. Yeah, that is, nobody's happy. Like, I don't understand what's going on. You know, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do traditionally and it's not making any sense to me. So I'm like, there has to be a better way to do this. While I was in university, I budgeted really hard. I did like the Jared method and the envelope method and it just wasn't sustainable or maintainable. And I realized, like, there has to be a better way to do this.
I have like an existential crisis, like, why am I here? And like, what am I doing? And all of this kind of stuff. And I came up with kind of my method that I teach in our coaching programs now, which takes a much different approach to personal finance. So I was able to actually pay off forty thousand dollars of student loan debt in eighteen months and using this method built up five hundred thousand dollar net worth in my twenties.
I just I love this so much because I think we subscribe to the like. There's got to be a better way mentality too. You like even with the podcast or like these podcasts are fine but we can do better. I don't know, like it's just you kind of look at something and you're like there's got to be a different way.
So I just love that. That was your mentality too.
And I also like I got a Keurig and I was like, I'm saving five dollars a week now on the coffees that I'm not spending. And it's like that's not going to lead to me being a millionaire. You know, it seems very granular and micro and not going to lead to big savings. Yeah. So tell us how you did that.
Yeah, I think the biggest thing is, you know, I know a lot of people are looking for these like tangible, like, OK, this is the secret and we have the secret. You just have to do this one thing and everything's going to be super easy and yes and no. So there are some tactics that I used to save big money. One of them is negotiating. Negotiating is huge for me. I save literally thousands of dollars a year by negotiating my bills I am able to make.
More money by negotiating my salary, and these are things that our clients coming into our programs have done and had amazing success with the girls coming in, they're like paying an article. I was making a five thousand dollar bonus every year. But using your tips and your strategies, I'm now making a twenty thousand dollar bonus just from reading the scripts right off of the page, because a lot of people, they're scared to do these things. They're scared to ask the hard questions.
They're scared to ask for what they want. And by making it super simple and just getting them out there and asking the questions, putting themselves out there, they're really able to achieve huge results that they didn't think were actually possible. So there are definitely things like that that I did. But I think the number one thing was changing the way that I view and use money changing from seeing money as it comes into my checking account. And I spend it on all of the shit that I want.
And then if there's some left over, like did good, and then I maybe put that into my savings account and that was my plan before versus now, where it's like following a few simple rules, living on less than you make paying your future self first like that you in five years, 10 years, 15 years. What did they want. Right. What do they want? Ask yourself, five years ago, was there something that I wish I had to save for today?
Probably. Right. So we're going to think, OK, five years, ten years down the road that me in five years or 10 years is going to want things. What do they want? Pay them first. You will think your self later and focusing on that. So living on less than you make, paying your future self first, investing early and often, money you save and invest in your twenties is worth twice as much as money. You save and invest in your 30s due to common interest, which is huge.
Right. And a lot of people don't even realize there was a stat that I read that said the average American makes, I believe, one point six million dollars in their lifetime, but is expected to need one point seven million dollars to retire. So looking at this, it's like even if you save every dollar you make, it's still not enough money. And it's like, well, what do we do? So it's about understanding the power of compound interest, investing early and often, finding out what brings you to a feeling of enough instead of mindlessly spending on shit that doesn't actually bring you happiness.
But you're hoping that will bring you happiness when you spend that money and you seem like the type that believes in multiple revenue streams. So, yeah, we do, too. I've always felt like that.
And that can mean in terms of let's say you do real estate and you also do influencer stuff and you also do whatever it is and then also like your investments as well. So I think like a lot of people, they have a job, they have a 9:00 to five, they have their retirement 401k. Hopefully, maybe not. Not I never had a job that had that I worked in PR so before I went on my own. So do you want to just chat on that a little bit like your feelings surrounding multiple revenue streams and just speak on that?
Yeah, so I definitely think multiple streams of income are integral to really building that long term wealth. When you are only trading hours for dollars, meaning hours of your life for money, there is always going to be a limit to how much you can make. Right? So if we're lucky, we got seven hundred thousand hours in a lifetime and that means for a specific job, there is a cap on how much someone's going to pay you hourly. And then there's going to be a cap on how many hours you can physically give to that job.
So there's a limit to how much money you make where you actually start being able to really grow that wealth is by multiplying those streams of income. So it doesn't necessarily have to all be active sources of income, meaning where you are trading time for money. The way that the difference in mindset between like, say, the middle class and the rich is where the middle class will trade their hours for dollars. They will make money. They use that money to buy the things that they love.
So they'll pay for their wedding, they'll buy their house, they'll buy a boat or whatever it is. They buy the shit that they want to consume versus the rich mindset is like, OK, I start off by trading my hours for dollars. Then I use that money to buy income producing assets. So rental, real estate stocks, whatever it is, then when those assets make me enough money, I no longer have to trade hours for dollars anymore.
The rental real estate is making me money. The stocks are making me money. I can live off of that and then use that income to buy my houses and my cars and my luxury items or whatever else it is. Yeah.
And so for somebody that's saying to themselves, like, OK, well, I work in and out of college. Last year I make my first offer for a job when I got out of college or an advertising firm was like thirty five thousand a year. And so I think some people are like, well, I only have like twenty dollars left at the end of the month. Is there ever a time where it's too soon to start investing or is that twenty dollars worth investing?
Yeah, I don't think there's ever a time that it's too soon to start investing unless you have high interest debt and you have not saved an emergency fund. So the real estate or the stock market goes up and down. Right. The it's always going to. Volatile in the short term, meaning if you're investing for a year or two years because you potentially lose money. Yes, but over the long term, that's when we see the ability for people to make money.
So you don't ever want to invest money that you need within the next five years at a very minimal. But the longer you can leave it in there, the better it is. So don't put your emergency fund into the stock market and then your car craps out and you need to go take it to the mechanic and take your money out of the stock market. Stocks could be down that day and you're like, shit, I have to sell at a loss, but I need this money, so I have to sell.
When you put your self in a position where you have to sell your investments. That's when you can potentially lose money. So first and foremost, you want to save up your emergency fund. I typically recommend six to 12 months of bare bones expenses. You put this in a high yield savings account, right. And it may sound a little daunting. You're like, holy shit, six or 12 months of expenses, but it's not as much as you think it is because it's bare bones.
What do you need basically to survive? And you start small, start off with a thousand dollars, and then you start building up to three months and then you build up to six months. Right. It doesn't need to be this one huge, scary kind of goal all at once. Break it down. How much do I need to save? Every month, every week, every day. So that becomes a little bit more palatable for you. Once you have that saved up, then you want to tackle that high interest debt, because if you can earn, you know, eight percent in the stock market, but your high interest debt is twenty four point nine nine percent, where are you going to put the money?
You're going to get an automatic twenty four point ninety nine percent return by putting that money onto your high interest debt. So you want to think, where are my dollars going to work hardest for me? If you imagine I make thirty five thousand dollars a year, each one of those dollars is a little worker. I want to put them to work where they are going to make me the most money. So where are they going to make you the most money in that instance?
They're going to make you the most money by paying off your high interest debt. Once that's done, move that money over into stocks and you can start getting that return there as well.
I also think maybe if you do have that, like, side hustle, whatever it is like you have that Etsy store or something that's bringing in, even if it's just a couple of hundred dollars a month or whatever it is like, that goes straight to whatever it is. I mean, what everybody's situation is different. If you don't have debt, you can obviously start investing it. But I think sometimes that's even just an easy way to do it in your own head.
Or you you wait tables or you bartender, what you kind of have that side thing with your regular nine to five that that goes straight somewhere. And that's you. You kind of when you're doing it, you know, you're like investing in your future in a way, you know, one hundred percent.
And I think that's one of the things, too, is people don't actually like they're like, hey, I'm going to save money or I'm going to invest. But look why. What is the purpose? What are you saving for? What are you investing for? No one knowing what you're saving, we're investing for is going to psychologically motivate you more to actually get out there and do the damn thing. And number two, when you know what you're saving for, investing for, you can reverse engineer.
That will be like, OK, in ten years, I want to have X, Y, Z. What do I need to do today to make that happen? How do I build up to that? So yeah, OK, maybe it's like I'm going to work weekends and I'm going to wait tables or whatever it is. Like when I started paying off my debt, I started working weekends as a receptionist in a real estate office. Right. And I was working my regular 9:00 to 5:00 during the week.
I was working a receptionist job on the weekend. All of that extra cash was going towards my debt. Right. Did it sock a little bit while it was happening? Yes, but I was able to, in a way, by my wife's back to the future because I was able to get that debt down now today and stop that compound interest from building up against me. I suffer from two problems and I hope other people can relate to this is that I didn't start good habits early.
I am very much an instant gratification person. I get something stupid in my head. I'm like, I need to buy that right now and I buy right now. And the second part is that I never get taught any of this stuff, actually. And I were talking to you about this, but I didn't certainly ever get tired of this stuff in high school, college after college. And then I almost hit an age where I was, like, embarrassed to ask for help.
And yes, I know there's a whole Internet out there, but I didn't even know who to ask. And like my brother, for example, is for You're Not Going to me. He works in finance and he's so good at this stuff. And like when I ask, does it make me feel stupid? But he does sort of laugh at me when I ask these questions because I'm in my mid thirties and I don't know the answer to a lot of these things.
And maybe people can relate to that, that like they're sort of in an age. They're like, I never learned this, not only to ask now. And I think that's a big thing to most people are not taught anything to do with personal finance and school. And if they are, it is not in such a way that's going to help them set themselves up for success in the future. And I think that's why our business has been freaking booming, is because there are so many people out there who are hungry for this information.
They don't know where to get it and they don't know how to get it in a digestible format. Right. Like most of the stuff out there is like very high level. And you're looking at it like I don't even know what a 401k is, let alone what a mutual fund is versus an ETF can become extremely overwhelming. So being able to find somebody. Who you can relate to, who's been there before and walked through it, and to be able to walk you through it, I think is a huge thing.
Yeah, and all I do is read like the wolf of Wall Street and the Western allies and the smartest guys in the room and read books. I read all this stuff and I'm like, who do you trust? I can't trust anybody.
Yeah. And I think that's scary, too, because a lot of the times we believe, like we are doing the right thing when we go to the bank and we trust the guy at the bank with our money, really. But he's the guy at the bank, like he has to have my best interests at heart. And I think the crazy thing with this is most people don't understand that most financial advisors aren't fiduciary, meaning they legally do not have to have your best interests in mind.
So when you're going there, even if you find a financial adviser and this does not say poo poo on the entire financial industry, but even if you find a financial adviser who is an amazing person with a good heart and they truly want to help you succeed, they are still working for a bank or a company that has profits first in mind. So when you're going in there and you're like, hey, you know, I want to grow my money, what are they telling you to put your money into?
Are they telling you to put your money into mutual funds that have very, very high expense ratios, meaning those financial advisers are making a lot of money or the banks are making a lot of money for selling you the specific product when you could actually go out and buy the exact same thing, basically, but for a much lower cost. So, for example, an actively managed mutual fund, maybe the expense ratio is two percent, two and a half percent, and maybe you can buy an ETF, which is a similar thing for point zero four percent.
OK, a one percent difference in fees could be 10 years less of retirement income. So it seems like a small number, but when you look at it that way, you're like, holy shit, that's 10 years more money that I need to put in there. And people aren't telling you this. And the financial advisors, their real benefit to you is not necessarily in creating you a portfolio that you couldn't create on your own because you can. And it's very easy.
Their benefit is in controlling your emotions, controlling you, because most people you're supposed to buy low, sell high. Most people get so low. You're like, oh, my God, I'm hearing about this investment. Like it's going to the moon. I need to jump on. And then they jump on it. They buy high and then it starts to drop. And then they're like, oh, shit, I'm losing money. And they sell low.
Right. So the financial adviser can be like, hey, that's a really bad idea. Or, hey, usually these stocks come back up. So, like, don't sell now because you're going to lose money. But if you can get in such a situation where you are educated and informed and trust me, it may sound overwhelming right now, but it is so much easier than you think it is. If you can put yourself in a situation where you are educated, informed about what to do, you don't have to pay those fees.
Right. You can go and do it on your own and you can save a ton of money by doing it that way.
And just don't assume that all these people are smarter than you. You know, I think that, like, just because they have formal training, they have more knowledge. But if you feel like something isn't right or something isn't adding up, like, just ask the questions. I mean, right. And I have business managers that, yeah, they're way smarter than us, a third job.
But like, we still, like, see things and question things and we always ask questions and they're like, you girls make us work, really care what we pay you.
So you need to work for us. It's just kind of like just don't blindly trust and believe people. And that's that was one of the first things we said to our business are they said to us when we were having initial meetings with them because they manage all of our money and we said something like, we trust you guys. And they were like, we don't want you to actually like not yet, you know what I mean? Like we want.
And we appreciated that. Like, we they wanted to, like, build our trust, too. And, you know, with anything, trust your gut on stuff like that. So I think that's great advice. Just don't blindly be like the guy at the bank knows the best for me.
And I think that's a big thing. And that's why I mean, a lot of people are not our kind of disempowering themselves, I think, in a way, by going to the bank and just relying too on those people to give them all the information. I think first and foremost, go out there, take a course, read a book, watch some YouTube videos like there are so many ways for you to consume this information. And at least even if you so you decide to use a financial adviser after you can sit at the table and have the conversation and understand what's going on and be able to ask the questions because it's your money like you fucking heard for that money.
You want to make sure it's going to the right places and it's working for you and not for the guy at the bank. Right.
Well, before we get into some of the more relationship based topics, we do want to touch on this principle of yours of not having a budget. That's your brand. No budget, babe. I feel so seen because I've never been into budgeting, never had a successful budget. I'm sure Rayna feels the same way. So we really want you to validate us on this.
I think a lot of people place a lot of faith in a budget that I mean. So let me go back a little bit. Imagine like, okay, I'm having money problems. I don't know what to do. You, like, go to your friends, you go to your family. The number one answer is, what? Did you start a budget like this? A little piece of paper once you write it all down. All of those problems are going to be solved and people put so much faith in this budget where it's like, OK, well, I've made the budget.
So now my financial issues are just completely gone because I know where my money should go. No. One, I believe that just further reinforces a scarcity mindset where you believe you don't have enough and you're never going to have enough. So I don't believe that that's conducive to wealth building. In addition to that, what we see and what studies show is that a few months one people on the budget, you look really great. They're saving money like this is amazing.
Month two and not so good month three. The majority of people fall off. Why No. One, because they feel restricted. OK, and number two, because they haven't addressed the underlying reason as to why they are in that situation in the first place. Most people believe that personal finance is a tactic. Where do I put my money and how do I get it to grow and how do I get rich? But actually, it's the unsexy stuff.
It's the 80 percent of it actually being mindset and behavior versus only 20 percent of it being tactic. Most of us on some level know what we're supposed to do. We know that we shouldn't be buying that shit on credit. We know we should be saving more, but we're not doing it right. We sell Savatage, we get in our own damn way. Why? Right. And that's where my program really is different than the majority of what the personal finance of literature is out there, I guess, so to speak, is that we focus on the psychology behind why you're doing what you're doing.
How do we rewire your brain and rewrite those internal money scripts to set you up for long term success? Because I don't want what I'm teaching to be a quick fix. This isn't just like, OK, you come through it in two months, you save some money and then you go right back to your same shit. I want to change your whole life, so I want to help you build such a solid foundation, understanding the mindset and the behavior and the self sabotage and all of that kind of stuff that we get to the tactic.
It gets to be frickin effortless because we have all of the other stuff set up.
Now stay ready so you don't get ready. Yeah, I love that. I'm glad I'm glad you addressed that. The big thing. Right. Like, I used to budget really hard. Like I said, when I was in university, I did the jar method and the envelope method and all that shit, and I don't like it. Just further reinforce that scarcity mindset. I save my first hundred thousand dollars by the time I was twenty five and I still lie in bed awake at night like I'm never going to have enough money, I'm never going to make money.
And I'm like I have six figures in the bank and I still don't feel like this. It's wrong. Something is wrong here and it's going back to the way that I thought and perceived and use money instead of using it as a tool. I felt like it was this finite resource. Whereas no, we can we can make more money, we can bring more money into our lives. And there is always going to be another way. And I think the biggest thing for people, if they're feeling stuck right now is to ask themselves instead of saying, I can't do this, I can't be good with money, I can't afford that, whatever it's how can I mean, what do I need to do today to set myself up for that success in the future?
How do I get the knowledge that I need and put that into action so that I can really have all of those goals that I want in life? And it's just like dating and dating advice. It's like, why would you give somebody a bunch of things to go out and do and use these tips and tricks? If you don't even know where their mind is and they're when it comes to how they feel about themselves, how they feel about dating, what they actually want, it's just this, you know, I think people dole out a lot of things to do without taking a minute to stop and think the part that everybody's individual and we all have different emotions and beliefs and goals and we're all wired differently.
So I love that you approach it from that psychological standpoint. That's great music.
Well, before we get into some more relationship discussions regarding money, where you are just going to take a very quick break to talk about our other partners for this episode. And I am going to tell you guys about my skincare routine. I'm telling you about Rory. Rory is a digital health clinic just for women that can help treat all your skin care concerns, from breakouts to readiness to aging dryness, whatever it may be. We all have issues with our skin.
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So it's OK for you to try to go to the dermatologist. Literally not out here trying to leave the house ever. And I'm excited to tell you guys about Earnest, which is student loan refinancing. I think times are tough right now. The last thing you guys want to think about is student loan debt. And if you are like me, I remember being in my early twenties, getting out of college, and just like the debt that I had made me feel sick and I had no idea how to manage it, I wasn't making that much money.
It just was something that made me feel so stressed out. And I had no idea where to turn to make it a little bit better. So what I like about Ernest is that they're going to help you refinance that. And today's low interest rates mean it is a great time to refinance your student loans. Ernest is offering our listeners a one hundred dollar cash bonus refinance student debt at Ernest Dotcom. Ciggie is not available in all states. Terms and conditions do apply.
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Earnest student loan financing made by Earnest Operations LLC and MLS number one two zero four nine one seven. Visit Earnest's dotcom licenses for a full list of licenses. OK, right, let's get back into it all. Yeah, so we're back and we want to talk a little bit about the relationship aspect of this. So specifically women's relationship to money and marrying for money and then feeling like there's sort of like this imbalance in the relationship where you, like, overcompensate in some way.
So we would love to hear about that from you. And you must get a lot of emails from women. Our audience is mainly females, so we can focus on that. But what do you see? Yeah, so I mean, I definitely see that a lot. I get a lot of messages through social media. I get a lot of emails of people being like, oh my God, thank you so much for letting me know that I can do this on my own.
There seems to be this belief that and again, this is not with everybody, but there is this misconception with some people and maybe it's pushed on them from their parents or from society or for me or whatever it is where it's like, hey, if you want to have financial success, you should marry a rich man. Right. And it's just I mean, it's so wrong to me on so many Australians beyond. It blows my mind. And I've had people come to me being like my parents told me, not to worry about any of this because my husband will take care of it.
And I feel like his place isn't in the finances just as much as your place isn't in the fucking kitchen. Like, stop trying to marry a breadwinner and go out there and learn how to be a breadwinner.
It's no one's responsibility to support you. And listen, that that is a product of your mother not telling you and your father, I tell you to to make money on your own. Yeah. Society. You my mom told me my whole life, you know, make money for yourself because God forbid your husband leaves you or dies, God forbid. And it's like, why is that the God? Why don't I just make money? Because that's like the important, you know, like, oh, this was our AMA.
We did that. This is our third money episode. We did one. Just the two of us, like you're one of the podcasts. And like I, I just quoted me forever because I just couldn't wrap my head around, like, not making money like you like. And I know like I know women, they, they just, they don't work and that's fine. And they raise the family and they take care of the household and stuff like that.
But I just was like, you don't have any money, like you don't make any money. Like you have to ask your husband for money you have to like and if that's the way you want to. Live, live, your truth always, but I personally can't wrap my head around it like I have to ask my husband for money, what I think it's so crazy.
Like I think the biggest thing is like a man is not a financial plan. And exactly like you said, Rina, 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and women live longer than men. So even if you make it through the divorce, like he's going to say, he's going to die before you like, that's just the reality of it. And I think also, like I mean, I get a lot of messages from women in very vulnerable situations.
I've spoken on the phone to women in many vulnerable situations where they're like, I don't know what to do. My husband is abusive. He's financial abuse, emotional, whatever it is. I can't get out of this because I don't have my own way out. And for me, I never want I mean, I grew up in a very tumultuous household. I never wanted to be in a situation where I didn't have control of my own fucking life.
Right. And I wanted to make sure that I got my own shit, like even right now, like I'm married. We have our own accounts, his ours and mine. Right. Like, I, I like having our finances separate it. I mean, it's good from a tracking perspective so you can see how much you're spending and there's no like anger or like disparity between anything. And it's like, yeah, I have my own shit. We have our shared accounts like our mortgage and our shared bills and whatever.
But I have my own stuff going on and I've never put myself in a position where I need to depend on him. Do we lean on each other? Yes. This isn't to say that I'm like I'm an independent woman and I don't lean on my husband for anything, but I have my own shit going on too. And I think that that's so important. I'm so glad that you brought up people that are in situations that are that are trapped essentially because of an abusive situation, a cheating situation, because, of course, Ashley and I support anything people want to do.
And we're not saying that being a mother isn't a hard job. And if your dynamic with your partner and it's too hard, actually, you actually I actually aren't doing it because it's too hard. I'm not saying that being a mother, it's a perfectly fine position to marry a person makes more money than you and not work and that your job is to raise the kids. But why, if you have an option, would you not put yourself in a position to have a little bit of money, to have to have options?
Yeah. And you can make your own decisions. Unlike on the kid thing. I have a 20 month old. I totally feel it is tiring, but it's still crazy. I think the biggest thing is, like I said, you wouldn't believe the number of messages that I get from people. And I see my talks pretty big and I'll have people commenting on the text, like I'll just marry a rich man. And it's like, even though I know that's a joke, I feel like, what do you tell your brain?
Right. Believe so when you're putting that out there into the universe, like the only way that I'll have wealth is if I marry an older man who's already wealthy is telling me that you're never going to actually go out there and do the things that you need to do to put yourself in a good financial position. Yeah, absolutely. It's I wouldn't even make that jokes. The thought wouldn't enter my mind. But I love that you said that you had you and your husband have your joint and your separate accounts.
And that's how I like my that's what my parents had. So it's like I grew up even as a little girl, knowing that, you know, Mommy has her account and daddy has his account and then they have their joint account. And it's funny because my mom would like take me shopping on her account, you know, and like, I knew the pin to her check card, like she had me running into the wall to get money out, like, whatever, but I love it.
Yeah. So I that was something that I just you know, when you're a kid and you start to pick up on those things and your parents tell you those things, you don't think anything else exists, you know what I mean? So that's what I always thought and that's what I always knew I would want. And I personally do do think that's the best thing. Like I mean. Right. And I we have a joint account of our own.
You want a credit card charge? That's what they're going to charge you to talk about. Oh, really? Yeah, it's for Amazon Books. It's weird. Is it? Is it. Oh, is it one hundred dollars. Yeah, it's for the ringlet. Thank you.
Thanks for letting us work through this, but I have a question for you because I don't think for me and actually like we'll just say whatever we think, we're pretty confident people and will back up that confidence with information. But like for somebody who's not comfortable saying that to their husband, like, I want my own account, how would you, like, advise breaching that conversation? Because I don't think it's such an easy thing to talk about with your partner.
No. And I definitely think it's trickier once you've already established, hey, we have one shared account if you're getting into the relationship. I mean. Exactly. So not like super early, like the first day, like, OK, you know, up on down the road, like don't red flag. But look, if you guys are already in the relationship and you have your money, one economy, one way to approach it would be, hey, I'm starting to take my financial situation a little bit more seriously.
I would love to set up like a money date, OK, we can have this money date. It doesn't need to be this big, scary thing, cook dinner, have some wine and have a good time. But like, let's sit down. Let's talk about our fucking goals. Let's talk about our shared goals. Where do you want to be in five years, 10 years, 30 years, whatever? Use this as a way to bring up the focus on finances, get on the same page and then say, hey, I want to understand where my money is going, what my spending habits are.
Because, I mean, one of the things like I don't believe in budgets, but I do believe in tracking our expenses. We need to know where we've been spending our money because a lot of times we don't have insight into what we're actually spending. It's a lot different than what we believe. So you can say something like, hey, I want to start tracking my finances. I want to understand what I'm spending, where my money's going. Let's separate our accounts so that I'm able to do that more effectively.
And then you might want to try that exercise, do whatever it is. And that way we can make sure we have a handle on what our own expenses are so that we can start putting money into a shared account towards our shared goals. Well, I mean, ultimately, if you're deciding with your partner at once, you've become your long term committed that you're going to whether you're opening a checking account or you're getting a joint credit card and then paying with whatever, like just somehow combining your finances, like to put them all together, you'd have to close your checking account.
So it's like that's a big step in it's own. So it seems maybe a little easier to be like, well, no, I'm going to hold on to my own account. I think you should do the same. And like, I don't know, maybe it's a red flag. If someone's like, no, you need to close your checking account and we're going all in together, like, you know what I mean? Like, it seems like it shouldn't be that difficult unless you go backwards.
It would be tough to go backwards and just be like, OK, actually now I want to but it's just like, why don't you just hold on to what you had before the partnership, you know what I mean? And I like it. Just one more thing. Yeah. I like the idea to start these conversations early. I think it was your line in one of our previous episodes to have these conversations and say, like, do you think about money?
The way that I think about money like that you does your partner think about long term spending and saving the way that you do? And you talked about like your partners and I don't know if you can speak on it. Yeah, just I mean, I think it's those conversations to me are best had when you're like in a great place in the relationship you don't like bring this up in a fight or when things are bad. But yeah, like you said, have dinner, like pour a glass of wine.
Not too much. You don't have to get drunk and fight.
But like just making sure I did realize that in a relationship I realize we just did not think about money the same way or even career goals or long term goals. And it was obviously a point of contention. And we broke up not because of other things too, but just figuring out where they stand, because that's a that's a tough thing to get one or two years down the road with somebody and realize that they literally don't think about the future the same way as, you know, that's a big thing.
I think even understanding like the way like people's values, I mean, somebody may value health and they have no problem spending a ton of money every week on supplements and whatever else it is. Another person may think, well, that's fucking stupid, but they spend a lot of money on like me because they really value you. Like, you need to understand that. I mean, first of all, people are going to have different values and you need to respect other people's values and people are going to treat their money, hopefully based on their values.
But know that, like, you can have different values. I mean, not totally, but I mean things like that in terms of like housing, that kind of thing, but still have the same long term goals. As long as you're still working towards the same shit overall, then I feel like the little minutia on the day to day isn't as big of a deal.
Yeah, because I think where where I've seen it go wrong is just like the couple isn't aligned at all in terms of like someone is really like a penny pincher and the person is other person's really spending and they want to just kind of like live their life to the fullest. And I wouldn't work with somebody that was like a really strict saver, you know what I mean? I dated that person. I was just like, this sucks. Like, I know you have money in the bank.
We take a trip. But like, I don't know, like it's just it's not for me, but I also don't want somebody that spends every dime they get to because I dated that too. So, yeah, that's my biggest nightmare. I think it's the person that, like, wants to go buy a small boat or something or a vacation or something. But we shop at Kmart like I don't I don't want somebody that's spending every last dollar and not coving the covering the basic essentials as well as we could.
And I'm fortunate that my I've worked my whole life. I've worked since I was 14, and I'm at a place in my life where I don't have to think before I spend as much. And I like to find a partner on a pretty equal footing. I guess I want somebody very similar to me.
But you've got to have those conversations early to figure out if that's the case. And I don't think I mean so my husband and I like we're actually the complete opposite when it comes to money. So he knows like a huge thunder, but he's more live life kind of thing. And I'm more like, let's save and keep all of our money and invest it in that kind of thing. And I think really what helped us was getting on the same page about what our long term goals were, where do we actually want to be, how are we going to get those together?
And when you get really clear about your goals and you get really passionate about your goals, sometimes you realize that those other things actually aren't as important to you. Right. It's like whereas maybe we're going out and buying clothes and whatever it's like, well, OK, I could do that or I could put that money towards this other goal. It's going to bring me so much more happiness when I hit it. So it's like this fulfillment curve. There's this book called Your Money or Your Life, and it is amazing.
And it is basically understanding, they call it the key to the life and it is understanding the tip of the fulfillment curve where it's like, you know, when you're little, you seek fulfillment or happiness from outside of yourself. And they say, you know, you get a bottle or a blanket or whatever and you get a little bit older. And this fulfillment comes from toys. And then your parents are well-meaning and they're like, hey, well, you know, those toys cost money.
So you create this will in your head where you're like, OK, money buys things that bring me happiness. So you get older and you go on your first trip, you buy your first car and you get your first apartment and you're like, holy fuck. Like the happiness level is like going up and up and up. But you get to a point where it kind of plateaus, right. The level of happiness that you're getting. You're spending more money and it's not really going anywhere.
It's just kind of staying flat. So the key to life is finding where you can get the most happiness at the peak of the filmmaker with the least amount of money having to be spent to achieve that happiness. I love that. I want to read that. How do you tell? It's a really good book.
I have. I just I'm just thinking about like I always can't help but think about, like, the way you were brought up and when you're a kid and I feel like I've quick funny story to tell you guys. I remember I think this was the summer between like maybe freshman sophomore year in college or maybe my before going into college, whatever. I had a summer job. I made maybe like eight hundred dollars in the summer, which is a lot.
This was a long while back. And then I just went to the mall. I went to King of Prussia Mall, which is like farther away from where I lived. It was the best malls, this huge mall. It's like a known thing. It's like in Pennsylvania. And I just spent it all. So I just spent it all like I spent I bought all clothes, shoes. I think I bought a coach bag, like I just spent all my money.
And I remember telling my mom I and I was so excited to come home and show her everything I got. And she was like, where'd you I was like, oh, I just spent the money. I made the summer. She's like, all of it. And I was like, Yeah, what? And she was like, you were supposed to save it. And I was like, you didn't tell me that. So I used to know, like it was I just felt like I had gotten to a point in my life where I should have known, like, saved a little bit.
And I just remember her being like we failed her.
No, but that's how I was raised. You I worked every weekend. I made one hundred dollars every Saturday, every Sunday. The diner I worked at in cash and I spend it on tank tops no one has ever had in their entire life to me. And my mom used to scream at me. We went to a therapist about it. A therapist said, if you everybody on fire the letter and it'll be the hard lesson for her. And that is a stupid thing to tell a 15 year old, because I was like, fuck you, Mom.
He said I could.
And I just I moved to New York City after working all through high school and college and a year in between college and moved here. I moved here with a grand total. And mind you, I've been working for I don't know, I moved here at twenty one. I was working. I moved here with five thousand dollars. I thought I was so rich. No one thought that was for working for seven years.
Oh yeah I bills. Yeah. And I think actually my story I might have been high school but whatever it was I still didn't understand. Yeah. So I'm so something. I want to wrap up the final thought. So if you're in this perfect storm of no one told you and I didn't save and what I've done now is marry a rich man because I need some money and fuck, I didn't plan for myself. Like when people messaged you and say something you brought up was that women express that there's like an imbalance and they have to sort of overcompensate.
And I thought that was an interesting concept. And I was wondering if you would just talk about it a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, we've had a few clients like those come into the program where they're like, hey, you know, my husband is the breadwinner. He makes more money than. And I feel like I need to learn this stuff right now, because I don't feel like I'm contributing enough, and I think that that's also a really toxic mindset as well. I don't think that there needs to be a dollar for dollar contribution within the relationship. If it's like, OK, we're going to save 20 percent of our paychecks, you save 20 percent of your paycheck or whatever that is, it doesn't need to be while he's saving two thousand dollars and I'm only saving five hundred.
And now I feel like shit about that. And if you are feeling like shit about that, I think you need to ask yourself why you really need to dive deep into what is this belief in my head that I have about myself that I am not sufficient enough or I am not providing enough for it? Why do I feel like I am not enough or this is not enough and really dive deep into why that might be coming up for you? Because it's not always so cut and dry.
Right. And maybe it's something that he's saying and maybe it's something that he's doing. Or maybe it's something that you were perceiving to be happening based on your own kind of internal scripts that you believe.
Yeah, and it's not that, you know, listen, there's just you might have picked a different profession than your partner, your male partner might pick to want to finance. And you might have picked to be a teacher. And being a teacher, I would say, is more valuable to the world than another guy in finance. But you make significantly less than your partner. But it doesn't mean that you're not contributing to the to the relationship equally. You just picked a different financial path and a different career.
And it's funny, I actually had a client that was like that. It was a similar kind of thing. So she was actually a teacher. So she made substantially less than her husband made. I think he was an engineer or something. But I'm like, you're both working full time. You both have jobs both. And it's not like you're like, oh, I'm choosing not to work. I'm going to sit on the couch and like, screw you.
And whatever else it is, it's like, no, you're going out there, you're contributing, you know? And they're like, well, you know, I'm not making as much money. One hour of my life. Is it worth as much? It's like, no, you're not being paid based on what you are worth. You are being paid for a task. You are completing a task. That task is worth a certain amount of money.
You personally are not worth that money. And I think that's something else that we really need to understand as well, is that our net worth or what we make is not our self worth. It is not what we are worth as individuals or as people. And I think that's a really big differentiation that we need to make a split.
I love that you said that. I think that that's such a quote that we need to remember. Like, just that dollar sign is not already making it out. Is your husband like to see work working money in any way or.
No. So he's in the tourism industry, so it's not necessarily like the highest canefields. I definitely at this point and the breadwinner in the relationship, I don't feel like it's really been an issue for us.
However, like I said, we've been together since I was 16 and all of these different points.
Right. So I think we've grown together and we've had those talks very early on and we are really on the same page with what our goals are. However, if we had not grown together, if we did not have the same goals, if we did not have the same mindset towards money at this point, do I think that our relationship would have worked over all of those years? One hundred percent not. And we wouldn't be together at this point then.
Yeah, and I was asking too, because it's like I think we talked about this with the former guest, Michela BOEM, how her with her partner with and just gender roles, how like we have this antiquated gender roles of like the man handles the money and it's like not if the woman's better at handling the money, you know what I mean? Like she was saying, like, I'm a lot better at handling our finances. So I do that and he does the things that he's better at.
And so you have an expertise in money. It's like, of course, you're going to be the person that handles it in your relationship if that's the relationship that you're in. So I just we need to forget all of that because it goes back to it's like boys are better at math and and money and it's just it's not true all the time. So No. One hundred percent not I think even if the other person isn't as good as money with money is, you are still involving them in that conversation, still involving them.
I'd be like, hey, what do you think about this? Maybe their opinion doesn't count for as much, but. Yeah, right.
Well, let's let's wrap up with some of these just general tips. And I would love to namedrop, you know, companies that you like to if you if you're into it. I mean, for example, I was going to ask you if you liked Vanguard. I just feel like I'm constantly hearing that that's a really good, easier way to to invest. My cousin, who was a CPA, is just a huge a huge fan of it. And he's always pushing me to do that.
And they're easy to be like, hey, I want to have this. I want to I have this goal for ten years and make it happen for me with this amount. So I'm just things like that. I just we want to hear your your general tips where people can even just start from ground zero. Yeah.
So, I mean, Vanguard is amazing instead of if you want. To work with them from a financial planning perspective, you definitely could. However, you can also invest in their ETFs without a financial planner. So an ETF basically is an exchange traded fund and it's a basket of stocks. And if you were like, OK, I want to go out and I want to buy a little bit of a bunch of different companies, because if I buy one company, super scary, because if that company something happens, I could lose all my money.
But if I have my money spread across multiple really good companies across the world, you know, the biggest investor across the world, the chances of me losing my money are very slim. But for you to go put all that together to buy little small pieces of all these companies, difficult, time consuming and just really annoying. Right. So instead, you could buy a basket of stocks, which is an exchange traded fund. They have very low management expense ratios, as I was talking about before, like the vanguard ones of the US, I think are like point zero four percent, meaning they only charge you point zero four percent to hold this investment.
You can go in and buy some of these that they have a little bit of the biggest invest in this basket instead of trying to go out and buy all of them individually yourself and it diversifies you. So it prevents you from taking on as much risk as if you would if you were just buying one singular company. They also have some really, really great options. Vanguard and I believe iShares has some in there called asset allocated funds. So if you wanted to include some stocks and then maybe some bonds in there, which are also called fixed income, meaning you know exactly how much you're going to make, you don't make as much because it's a little bit safer.
However, you know exactly how much you're going to make so you can buy an entire portfolio that has stocks and bonds in it in an asset allocation fund. iShares and Vanguard have them is literally everything you need it one you buy. Just one thing you don't need to go to a financial adviser to buy it. The expense ratio is a little bit higher, but still much, much lower than what you would get if you were with a financial adviser.
And it has you know, you could get a balanced fund with 50 percent stocks, 50 percent bonds. If they rebalance it for you, you can get one that has 80 percent stocks and 20 percent bonds. So you don't have to go and work with someone specifically. There are also robo advisors that are amazing that do the exact same thing as a financial adviser. But it's a robot and they ask you, you go in, you start off by answering a questionnaire like what's your goal?
What do you need the money? How much can you contribute? And then they're like, hey, based on that, this is the portfolio we would recommend. Put your money in here and we'll handle the rest. And again, a little bit more expensive than just doing it yourself, but much less expensive than having a financial advisor. So those are some really, really quick and easy ways to get started. Again, nothing wrong with going with a financial adviser.
And when I first started investing, I started with a financial adviser. Right, until I got to a point where I felt comfortable and confident with what the market did, with how I was going to react to changes in the market. And I was able to then say, I don't think they're rigging me as much value as I'm paying to take my money out of here and do it on my own. But again, nothing wrong with starting off that way.
I think another really easy, quick win for people is to start that high interest savings account. And I know people right now are like the rates are shit, it's better than the point zero three percent you're getting on your savings account. So if you can get even one percent, one and a half percent like that is money that you are making without having to do anything. Keep your emergency fund in that high interest savings account. You're at least making a little bit of money and it's a hedge against inflation.
You just ask that at your bank. I mean, is that just as easy as that?
Some financial institutions will have them, others won't. So I believe I think it's chase in the states that has some right now or time in the in Canada. I use Ecobank Tangerine Bank also has some. So depending on where you are, like you can just do a quick Google search online.
I think Nerd Wallet has some really great recommendation and NERVA is like the Holy Grail. I feel like theirs. I feel like they're such a trustworthy source of anything you're in. You're wondering about it when it comes to the stuff. And then I just wanna make sure we get it right. You said robo advisor. Is that like an actual name or is that just like there's a bunch of them that OK, so there's a Google that if that's what you want.
Exactly. And I mean some if you wanted to start on your own, if you were in Canada. Well, simple is really great to have a robo advising platform or you can just go and do their self investing. TD Ameritrade is great in the states for self investing, self directed investing. They have really great platforms for you to be able to do all of that. So I would say just Google robo advisor and then your area top robo advisors in the States or top level advisors Canada and see what comes up.
Make sure you do your research. Make sure you understand how much these companies are charging you to purchase investments, to handle your investments for you, all of that kind of stuff. But once you have that kind of a guideline, go again, like you said before, seek different advice from different people. You talk to a couple different financial advisers, maybe you talk to some money coaches, maybe you talk to your friends and your family, ask people what they're doing and get advice from different people, see what the common denominators are.
See what the outliers are like. Well, maybe I don't want to do that because nobody is saying to do this, only this one person and go from there and be able to build your planet that way. I think the bigger risk is not investing and not getting started rather than actually going out there and doing it.
Yeah, and just I guess I think this can sound like a lot to some people. And I just think it has to be that overwhelming, you know what I mean? Like, I think it it's like you put in a certain amount, you tell them your goals and these people are trained and they're perfect. They know what to do with your money. Like, I don't you know, again, don't blindly trust. But I, I just think people are like they're here in stocks, bonds, mutual funds.
And they're just like, I don't know what it's just like she knows how I get I like I just glaze over and you have the converse and I'm not an expert. But I mean, if you're just like you, you want to do Vanguard. Warren Buffett recommends it. You you you recommend it, then research it, talk to someone there or whatever it is and get their support and then be like, this is how much I can put in a month.
And this is what my goals are. And that was the other question I want to ask you. I know there's probably not a concrete answer to this, but just to give people a ballpark, like what do you feel is a bare minimum of a monthly amount to invest? If someone has if someone's like I can literally only spare fifty dollars a month, is that even worth it? Yes, I definitely think it's worth it. And I think people have this misconception that investing is only for the wealthy, but investing is actually how you build wealth.
It's how you get rich. Right. So starting small, if you start with five dollars, ten dollars, twenty dollars, fifty dollars of whatever it is, start somewhere starting is better than not starting at all. Stop waiting until things you feel like are perfect for you to start. But the biggest thing to understand is you really need to reverse engineer your goals because where a lot of people get stuck is OK, I'll save fifty dollars a month and I'm going to invest that cool.
But for what? Why are we investing? Why are we saving this money? It's going to be very difficult to stay on track if you don't actually have a plan for what you're going to do with that money. And a lot of people will maybe they get to sixty five. They're like, great, I've been investing my whole life. I can retire. And you get to the point you're like, oh my God, I don't have enough money to retire, but I've been investing.
I have a life that is like, hey, you didn't think about what do you want your life to look like when you retire? How much money do you need to live that lifestyle? How much do you need to save today? And what kinds of investments do you need to buy in order to be able to get there? So really understanding like planning out your life. And maybe it doesn't sound fun, but it can be right. Like, what do I want my life to look like?
What do I want my dream life to be in five years, 10 years, 15 years, 40 years? And what do I do today to set myself up for that success? At that point? This hasn't come up. But I was curious if you have opinions on this as opposed to investing your money in the stock market, bonds, things like that.
If you have opinions about real estate and especially like real estate right now.
Yeah, so I love real estate in terms of real estate right now, the real estate markets are super heated. So it's I mean, that's an understatement in some areas. I know where I live, a lot of the properties are seeing like twenty, thirty offers.
On the first day of the week, we went looked, we write and I peruse a little bit. I thought I was going to buy a house like a few months back and I was like, oh shit. I had no idea people were just buying homes. This is at the beach in Delaware, sight unseen, way more than ASCII. And like, it was bonkers. It's crazy. And I mean, so when you think about real estate from an investing standpoint, a lot of people say, you know, you make your money on the buy.
So if you overpay from the outside, it's going to be that much more difficult for you to actually make money long term. However, when a lot of people think about real estate investing, like I need to go out and buy a house and rent out that house and doesn't need to be like that, you can actually use your personal residence to build massive wealth if you buy strategically. So I bought my first property when I was I was twenty six point five, maybe split it in two years for one hundred and fifty thousand dollars profit.
And that's tax free profit because it's a house that I lived in. So, I mean, there's different ways that you can make money off of it. If I could go back and do things differently. And what I typically recommend is if you can buy a duplex, buy a multifamily property, rent out one of the units, or if you don't care, rent out some of the other bedrooms. House tax, that's what that's called. Right.
Live for free and then invest all of that other money. And then you can actually just rinse and repeat this process. If you don't mind living in a multi-family property, you can do this for a few years, build up a huge nest egg, live in one. You get the smaller down payment because it's an owner occupied unit. So you don't have to put down twenty, twenty five percent, maybe put down three and a half percent is the first one or five percent.
Move into that property. Live in there for a year, fix it up, rent out the other unit, take all of that extra money that you were saving, go and buy another property, live in one unit, fix it up, rent out the other one, rinse and repeat that. You will build a portfolio of real estate properties. And real estate is amazing because. You make money a few ways, right? You can make money off of the monthly rents, you make money off of the capital appreciation, so how much the value of the property goes up and you can make a lot more money that way in real estate than you can in stocks based on your initial investment.
So imagine you put fifty thousand dollars into the stock market and stocks went up by 10 percent. You've made fibrin cool, right? But if you put fifty thousand dollars into a five hundred thousand dollar house and that house goes up by 10 percent, now you've made fifty thousand dollars. So you are making money off of other people's money. The banks money. Right. Which is amazing. And because that appreciation is off of not only your original investment, but also the price of the home.
In that one year, you could have made a one hundred percent return on your investment, which you're not going to get really in the stock market. I think that's highly unlikely. And anybody telling you that they're getting that is probably lying. So there are some really great ways to do that. And I mean, you can also take equity out of the property tax free, right, because you don't pay money on debt. So, I mean, obviously, you want to be careful if you're using any of those kind of strategies with like a home equity line of credit or refinancing and taking that money, the cash back out of the property to further build your investment portfolio.
However, depending on your tolerance to risk that, there are definitely some things that you can do or some ways that you can strategize to build that real estate portfolio and make a ton of money that way as well.
OK. Right now, though, I want to know what to do with my money, actually. And I will start a side hustle where we invest in properties together. And I love it. I love real estate. I mean. Yeah. All right. Well, we we know the people want to find you. You want to find your courses, your website, your Instagram. So if you could tell people everywhere to find you.
Yeah. I love it. So you can find us on Tick-Tock or on Instagram at no budget. Babe, we also have a Facebook group. So if you guys are listening to all of this right now and you're like, I have so many questions, you can head over to our Facebook group, I do free money coaching and there once a month it's called Master Your Money and build a bank account that never stops growing. We have a variety of courses, but one of the ones that I'll touch on right now is we actually have a free program.
It's a three day video series called Thirty Days to One Hundred K, and it walks you through how to start building up that first six figure bank account ways to negotiate your money. Some basic money rules on how to set up some of those investment accounts to help your money grow it. It's one hundred percent free also. Oh, wow, that's really great.
B then. This is great. Yeah. Thank you so much. Everything saying I love it. Thank you so much for having me. I had such a good time.
Yeah. You and you guys know where to find us girls. Got it. You podcast dotcom. Sign up for the email list, grab that new merge, get tickets to the virtual Valentines Live show on February 11th and find us on Instagram at Girls Got You podcast. I'm atus. Reena is Ranaghat Greenburg, Twitter girls and our score got a YouTube dotcom salesgirls. Girl's got to eat and that's all. All right guys. Have a good week I.