We have gone ahead and gone back to work, have brought in a major income into the family, all these things, we changed the game and that changes the dynamic of the drippers.
You know, they were like, oh, my, what? You can travel with strippers. A hundred percent.
Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girl Scout. Merry Christmas. Happy holiday. Happy holidays, holidays and happy Hanukkah. Oh, OK. I'm not sure. Oh, I got it. Anyway, guys, we are a comedy podcast about dating, relationships and sex hosted by myself, Ashley Hasseltine and Raina Greenberg. Raina Dockray on Instagram. Please go there. She's on Instagram. OK, let's keep doing it. Oh there.
Build it. Feel right. It feels nice to reintroduce ourselves every week. Let me introduce myself. My name is I am recording well light out. Who knows my dream. One hour left on for. Let's get into it. All right. Well thanks to Daim products for supporting girls, Gary Dame's mission is cultivating pleasure to enrich wellbeing for satisfaction literally guaranteed. And fifteen percent of head to game products, dotcoms, LECG and thanks to Fields' for supporting growth, Gary Feels has me feeling my best every day.
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OK, Onaga is definitely over. Yeah, I would like. I know the days, but listen I, we never, we never wish people happy Hanukkah song. It's a vibe. It survive it dateless. It has only.
Oh by the way I cook what's ironic about vibes only it's not something that like I mean every family is different. It's not something that outside of being a little kid we celebrated, it was nice. Like singsongs like the menorah give Kulongoski. Yeah. We don't do it outside of little kids stuff. My family. Yeah. I mean when I was younger like a kid I just always thought that Hanukkah was a Jewish Christmas. So I thought it was a bigger deal.
And then I became friends with so many more Jewish people and they were like, no, that's not like our main holiday like that. The main holidays are, what, Rosh Hashanah in Yom Kippur. Right.
And I'm so proud of you being sarcastic. I'm really amazed. Amazing, you know, that I was like, why don't they pop off more about Hanukkah? And then my Jewish friends are like, because I like that girl. Like, we even our Christmas is a crazy night. There's not just one. So, I mean, there's just it's too many nights, but it's not like your Christmas is not really equivalent when it comes to like the holiday.
Yeah. When we were kids, my mom made it really special. She a single parent, she went out of her way to have a lot of gifts for us to make it fun. But the gifts were like socks. Right?
And that's what like I feel like little kids. You hear about Hanukkah, you look with the back eight days. It is. And it's like not the same. Yeah.
And also, like, once you're like thirteen and she's over right out here, like getting presents. Yeah, exactly. But if you guys are together or apart, you're spending Christmas alone or with your family. We just wish you a happy holidays. We love you guys. I mean, if you guys want to buy something from us, get a gift card. Yeah. Gift card for the merch. And especially if a girl's got a pocket stocked shop, gift cards or any of the accessories.
And just one final note about where your packages are in tracking links. We'll email you guys as soon as an order comes out with the tracking link. That is your information for where your packages. We've spoken with USPS. They are experiencing unbelievable amount of volume. And we appreciate your guys as patients. We remain committed to delivering everything to you guys on time. We're doing the best we can, but just check those tracking links. They are is up to date as they possibly can.
We don't know anything other than that. Even Amazon is having delays. So that's when you know it's bad. OK, and quick, just thank you. We had a incredible virtual holiday live show. So many of you guys tuned in. You made it an event. You had your pre games and your insane shakuhachi spreads insane. All of them are chefs. I've never everybody like you guys were targeting your grocery store pics it just all day. It was incredible.
We had a really fun dance opener, Byron, Carly and Janelle or three of our dancers. We love them. They they did it yet again for the third time. A girl's got a show. We had Oussama and Dylan. Come on. We had Jenny Jones. It was great. So hopefully you guys saw it. You can't get anymore. And we have something planned coming up in February for the next one. Yeah, we're going to maybe maybe we might do a little Valentine's Day thing.
We don't know. But it was it was this it was just such a success. We want to do it again. I have one thing I need to tell you. A huge missed opportunity for me to show. I told you a story about taking a shit in the Campbell Soup factory when I was 19. Not going to tell it here. You should have been the show at. I took a drunk shit at the Campbell Soup headquarters in Camden, New Jersey, on the way to an Eminem concert, and I cannot believe while I told you that story, I did not tag soup and poop the old soup and poop.
Do you know Hoback? Twenty eighteen. One of our holiday episodes was one of the two. It was single all the way or the one after it, whatever we did too. And that was when we really started to go off the rails and these intros and like we were like, this is what we do now. Sorry, it's not going to be as tight as it used to be, but we don't fucking care because you popped off about soup for the first time then and something about soup and poop.
And remember, I couldn't stop laughing. I was like wheezing, thinking like I remember that. And I can't believe that I took the ultimate soup and poop. I took a shit at Campbell's and during the live show didn't say soup and poop. You're the mascot of soup and poop. I'm sorry. Yes.
You know, Queens Boulevard. You.
You. You sugar Dougie at the headquarters of Cream of Mushroom Soup, Campbell's condensed mushroom. I didn't bring it up. I know. I just, like, laid in bed last night. And it's just like, I don't know, like we watched the show back. We got together, we had some wine, we watched it back. And it's just like you watch it again, you're like conscious of this thing and that sort of thing. But it's what it is, you know what I mean?
It's a lot of pressure to perform in front of thousands of you guys in my kitchen. I'm glad you mentioned that. We watched it together last night. We had our own viewing parties. Just the two of us was cute and something completely insane happened. And I want you to laugh about it. I'm going to add some texture afterwards.
I legitimately almost peed on your floor. I fell off the couch onto the floor and was like rocking back and forth, laughing, tears streaming down my face, feeling like I had to. I crawled to the bathroom, honestly, and then you could just hear me pissing and laughing in the bathroom. It's the only time I would have been mad at you for peeing on the floor. I wish I would have been like, you know what I deserve this for?
OK, so what happened was last week on our episode, we talked about your ex getting engaged. And I mentioned that when I met him for the first time, which was this past January, January twenty twenty, he was transitioning into an unattractive person. So when you dated him, you were engaged to him. Super hot. Thank you. Is Blowdown. Yeah. Like all of my exes as well. Maybe the most of any of our exes, honestly.
And so we talked about his hair. I said you look like get a perm or whatever. If you guys don't listen, I'm just catching you up. I said, you look like Rhea Perlman and he looked like a wet, fresh perm.
So Corey, my best friend, was like she was like, I just listen to this. I'm dying about Rhea Perlman. I've got to see this guy. And so I was like, OK, let me let me find some photos. And I was at your place and I was like, we do need to show her a before. Like, so she doesn't judge you. Yeah, of course. And so I went on to Facebook. I pulled up these old photos of the two of us.
He looked so good, different. He was he was SuBo or he was. Let me just like you, of course. Shit. Yeah. In the dark. So I pulled up two photos of us from two different weddings. I'm in like beautiful dresses. He's in a suit. So I'm looking for these photos. I get a call from this guy who I we've been talking about him. It's Reyna's kind of like quote unquote ex from Charleston.
You guys talk on the phone. I don't think that you should be, but whatever you do it anyway. I like you know, Lori Gottlieb said she's going to do it anyway. So he called you. Yeah. You silenced him. We were busy. We were like, you were finding photos of your ex on Facebook. Yeah. And I said, I just text him and I said, I'm going to call you back. And he like them.
Stop it and just see you guys know we are streaming the live show from my cell phone. So I wasn't on my phone. I'm on my computer texting from my computer. Yeah. So my phone is is streaming the show. So I got my computer. I drag these photos the you Facebook on to my computer and then I drag them over to my message to send them to Ashley so she can send them to Corey.
But what you did instead was your brain stopped working. You short circuited. No thoughts were coming into my head. I just dragged them over to him and sent them directly to him.
He said, I'm just hearing to go, oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just sent those photos and I didn't send them to you. And I go, You sent them to send them to him. And you were like, I did. I was like, she's lying. She's lying to try to make me laugh. She didn't do this. He didn't call her and her right back. I'll call you right back and then send him two photos from twenty thirteen of you and your ex that you did not remember what he was to do for those two.
Out to couple photos of you and your ex, who, if you're following along, you were on the phone with this guy when you found out your ex even got engaged. At this point he just thinks you're still in love with your ex and you're out here looking at old photos and you send them to me. I can't get over it. I will never get over it. So you don't know this of story. Oh, my God. Well, also, yes, I did.
I said to him, like I said, I didn't know what to do first. I don't I don't respond for five wholesomely words like hysterical, hysterical. There's no like three dots. He's not typing. He's like, I'm of looking around. We've got a recap. I just let's just all think about this. This guy called Raina, someone she used to date, someone she used to fuck. She signs the call, texted him, I'll call you right back, and then followed up with two photos of her and her ex fiancee.
I just will never get the call.
And I told you when I got home, I was like I was like, I'm still laughing. I'm about to just send pictures of me and my ex to the last guy I dated just to feel the rush.
And just like Vegas, where I put it in perspective even more, I called him back. He was like relatively a good sport about it. But he was like, what have you called me? And I ignored your call. And I just sent you two photos of me. And my ex said that.
So here's why it's worse. Why? Here's why it's worse.
Oh, my God. Because of what I was wearing. I was wearing, like, really fancy dresses, like wedding dresses. So he was asking me how the live show went. And I said that I had worn a gown and he was like, oh, my God, I would love to see you in a gown. And I was like, oh, you don't even know what I wore last year. And so I sent him a bunch of photos of me, red and gold and green gown.
OK, so he has all these photos. And I the last thing I texted him was tell me which dress you like better.
No, no. And he said, you look great at all of them.
And then he called me and I fuck you the call and said, you bought all those fancy dresses.
No, I wish that this is a white show you the receipts.
I can't free his mind.
He's like she's sending me these photos of her gowns all day. And she just thought this was a good idea. This is the next round of which do you like better?
If you're like you can tell they're so long ago, look, you look like a different person. No, look, I thought you were like and my next question, I want you to tell me, which dress do you like that I wear these wedding seven years ago with my tell me which one you like better and then I'll call you back.
I guess it didn't hit me until this morning because I was scrolling through. This guy is like this girl, so fucking weird to me.
Oh, God, I want to stop it. Oh, so you did send two photos of dresses with the earlier photos, which you like better than I followed up with more photo my gowns with another man I get. Oh, my God. And then try to explain to him also why I had those photos on my computer, why I was sending you, like trying to explain why I was even looking at these. I think you don't understand this from nine years.
It all sounds like a lie. Yeah. And it's so like it's so funny because it's like you didn't just have those on your phone. We went into your Facebook, right. You you you dug so deep because you really wanted to see like here's what he looked like when we dated. Like you didn't just like fire them up on in your from your favorites, you know what I mean? I have different teeth of different hair, different color hair.
They're from nine years ago. Yeah. And I yeah. You're right, I brought it up last week that he just got engaged. This guy is like this girl's ex fiancee got engaged. Now she's pining for him again. She's got photos on her phone, old photos from old buddies they went to together. Like the narrative. It's like and he's right for thinking that because what else would it be? I mean, I just think about it.
If he did it to me, if he brought up that his ex got engaged and then just followed up a couple of days later. Well, the truth sounds like a lie. Sounds like. Well, so Ashley's friend had wanted to see these photos, so I had to, like, find them to send Ashley to send her friend. It just sounds like a total lie because he's ugly now and need you to comparison. I need to show that I don't like an ugly person that I saw a little me and I was like a terrible person.
I could not wait to tell you that. Oh, my gosh. So anyway, I did so and I just chose one of the wedding photos because I feel like you just need to see one. So I sent her that and then I sent her a recent photo and she was like, oh wow. She's like, I couldn't have prepared for this. Yeah, he was really clean cut.
We were together. He returned to the woods. His body returned. She does. Oh, my gosh. So that's what it happened. That was what had happened was so thank you for being there. It wouldn't have been ages. Would have been a terrible moment without you. Yeah. Like having your like best friends with you for these moments. I just make them OK, because if you never talk to me again, I still would have that moment with you and it will be funny forever.
I know. Like I'm so glad I could be there physically, like rolling around on the floor. But it was a little reminiscent of when I thumbs down to my ex's texts from two weeks prior and I was alone in my home and like I just wish you would have been there. I mean, we still have different experience that I was doing. You just like had that I didn't even know how to get the words out to explain to you what I did.
Like you had to guess. I know. I guess quick. I was like, dad, I was really shocked. OK, that was our night.
What's going on with me? I had a I had a night recently. I had a date. Yeah. So I, I did go on a date. I feel like it might be the last like dining we've closed in or dining it. I don't know what's gonna happen with outdoor but I feel like it was kind of my last hurrah. I cooked dinner, I had a really nice dinner. I went out with this guy. This was a second date.
And, you know, it's interesting because I just it's like hard to explain why I I don't think that we're going to, like, date like romantically. But like, I think this guy is so wonderful, you know what I mean? Like, he's he's tall. He's cute. He's from Delaware. Yeah. You've only said nice things about him. He's he's so great. Yeah. He's he's just so great like but I just do kind of think it's a friend vibe, but like in the way that I actually want to be friends with him and you know me like I'm kind of like no new friends, you know, I have tons of friends, I have tons of guy friends like guys that I've dated or had anything with.
I feel like sometimes maybe they try to be my friend. I'm like, I'm all set. I don't want that. But like, I actually really do enjoy him and I really like talking to him. And, you know, we always joke that we see couples in restaurants and they aren't talking and we don't know their story. I feel like you get a vibe for a first date, but we feel like we see couples that we can tell there are a couple or they've been dating and they just aren't talking.
And you're like, what is going on here? I can't all be in fights, but you know what I mean? Like, they're just not talking. And he and I so I think about it when I'm on a date and we just talk the entire time, we have to talk about we had a great dinner, we'd a great meal. We like shared stuff. Like it was great. But there's just not that sexual tension, chemistry really even like flirty vibe.
Like, I can kind of put my finger on some examples. I'm not going to get into that about this guy, but I just say because I think that we've all been in that situation where it's just not there and it's always helpful to remind. To yourself that you feel like that about people and for you, what people will feel like that about you, like guys will go out with me and they'll be like, she's great, but I just don't want to fuck her.
I don't see her as a girl. I want to be my girlfriend or even like, fuck, buddy. I just want to be friends.
And it's like you feel so insulted, but you have to, like, always remember that, like, I do the same shit and I do it to good, attractive, nice people. I think that love is really rare. And finally the person you want to be with is superior. That's why it's so special when you find it. But yeah, from the other side of the coin, I think we go out with people, we don't hear from them and they go stars.
And you and I both sent those texts like, I just don't see this going forward. But it's disappointing. But I think sometimes we're so insulted by it, like and we're not pretty and I'm not cool and I'm smart. None of those things are true with this guy. It's just like some people just don't see a future with you, you know, and it's not any deeper than that. It's not that you're not enough anything. It's just you're not the person for that person and that's it.
And I just think friendships are so important, like it's a compliment that I would actually hang with you as a friend because that's deeper and more important than like a guy you date and fuck for a minute.
There's like a million people in between, people I would never talk to again and people I'm in love with. There's a million people in the middle. I'm like, yeah, why aren't we just being friends of them? It's just it's hard to do that. I think like it is you'll say that to him and he'll be insulted for like a week or two. And like, you'll just dmm something one day or not. You know, he's we haven't hooked up.
Yeah. You know what I mean. Anything. Yeah. You could kind of feel the same. You just never know. Like I'm not out here being like this guy's in love with me. I don't fucking know how I'd feel the same way. I mean, the vibe was felt friend friendship and like I just think you give it a little it's like you're like pining for new best friend. But I think you just give a little space and like, you've made yourself clear and that's it.
Yeah. You guys can be friends, but friend alert and like I just think he's really great. Like this might sound crazy to some people, but I don't think it's crazy and I've done it before. Like, I could hook him up with somebody else. You never know. Like, I tried to do that with Merrill. I went to that one day with that guy and I was like, I think you're wonderful.
I think you'd be a better match with a friend of mine. They never got together. If you guys are wondering if you were listening back then, but they did. They just logistically couldn't make it happen. But they were texting and they tried. And now, you know, Merrill is not really single, so they're never going to get together. But like, you know, I'm not going to say that right out of the gate. I don't have anybody in mind for him.
But like, that is how to meet people. You through your friends and especially your friends, the opposite sex, you know.
Absolutely. Yeah. I'm glad we talked about this. I think that, like, it probably resonates with a lot of people that go out with someone and they're like, what the what's wrong with me thing that you just like? I mean, I beat myself up a lot, like, you know, should I've been funny or pretty or cool or whatever the fuck. It's like, no, you just weren't that person's person and it could just be the wrong time.
Yeah. Yeah. I look forward to sleeping with him.
Yeah. Oh my God. What have you did.
And you were like, oh my God, he's so he can really fuck. And I be like, OK, I'll take it back. OK, thank you for trying it up on the test drive. Yeah. Give it back. OK, do we have a couple of wrecks. Yes. We promised we would watch the teacher. I promised you I'd watch the teacher and a teacher. We keep saying let's see that teacher. You're a teacher which is awkward.
I typed in the teacher by accident, but it's an ethics show on Hulu. Yeah. With Kate Mara, who I love you love. I mean, I don't know this about you, Rooney, her sisters, Rooney Mara, and they own the Steelers and the Giants. OK, but it's it's the brief overview. It's a thirty two year old teacher who's sleeping with her eighteen year old student and he's seventy when they start the fallout from it.
Yeah, seventeen when they start. They spent his eighteenth birthday together. Yeah, she did fuck an underage kid, of course. So we'll just quickly tell you, like maybe like one thing we liked, one thing we didn't like. Well, I also want to say that if you follow me on Instagram, when the show came out, I popped off about this. They released three episodes at the beginning. So they gave you three episodes are short, like twenty some minutes, like maybe thirty, maybe one or two of them is thirty minutes there.
I'm sure those twenty five minutes long. And so they gave us three and then I just got super invested. And you can skip ahead right now if you don't want any spoilers. We always like to do this. So I would just this isn't going to be long but maybe if you're like I don't want to hear anything, maybe fast forward five minutes. Yep. OK, give you they give you three episodes and at the very end of the third episode is the first time they hook up and then that's all you got.
And I was like, I can't live like this where I and then they were going to release one a week, one twenty minute episode a week. I want to go mad. I was like, there's a season of ten episodes. Give us the season. Hulu, they did this with little fires everywhere. Read the room, give us the season. I was so mad. I was like I refused to watch the show. I'm waiting till it's done because I want to binge it.
It's too juicy to watch twenty minutes a week every fucking Tuesday. What have I done every fucking Tuesday I cook dinner and I watch a twenty minute show. I'm up to date. I did not wait for it so I could binge it. I have to watch it. I watch all six. You got to binge it. I'm so, I'm so jealous. Seventh one's tonight. I can't wait. Yeah it's twenty minutes you guys have to do.
We're going to go. I know I don't have anything to do. What am I doing. That's my truth.
It's clearly about an abusive relationship. You know, I don't want to take that away from it. And you have some stuff to say about that, too, but it's really it's suspenseful, you know, it's a lot of like what's going to happen and it's definitely a darker show. I wouldn't really say it's like a feel good show by any stretch, but I did enjoy it. And you did. Do I really like the show? I think the acting is really fantastic.
I think that they sort of show you like the progression of how they lead into it. I think I don't like about it is that I think it was a little fast. And you're like, wait, this this woman is giving up her whole life for this kids, giving up her husband and her job. And I just I thought that there was not enough backstory about, like, what got her there, because you're like, what kind of person is this that would be like so sick that they would, like, walk away from everything for a child, essentially, I mean, adrenaline or like dopamine or serotonin or whatever.
I mean, I think it's just like the excitement of clearly the teachers don't fuck. They're like, you should never I think she tried. I think she denied his advances, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not giving her credit. You should know better. That's like the number one rule. Don't fuck your students. Everything is wrong about their relationship. But that's what it is like. The excitement and the like, maybe passion that's mistaken for love.
Like the last thing she tells another teacher and she is hot and you can pop off it. But I thought, like, I just wanted like even a five minute flashback of her life because I'm like, this is somebody that doesn't really understand boundaries. If you I mean, obviously, if you fucked your kid, your student, your definition of boundaries, but to tell another adult and think the other adult would be cool with that, I was like, could we have just gotten five minutes of insight into this person's life?
Yeah, yeah. And a lot of people have problems with like they just don't think that it's that well done. It's like, OK, we're trying to figure out what kind of person she is because she stole the lipstick that one of the earlier episodes. It's like it's the first thing. The first episode. Yeah. Yeah. So we're like, OK, so there's something going on here. But like we could we could use a little more.
Yeah, that's it.
Other than that, I like the show. I think it's good. Watch ten episodes. Yeah. That scene where she tells that friend again it had to come out. That's the point of the show that she got caught and that was he insane where I had to pause it and be like, is that her teacher friend? Like they had, what, two sips of juice of the tequila in the parking lot? And she was like, it's Eric.
I was like, what? Like, you would never that was honestly the most unrealistic part of it, that you would never maybe you would tell a friend in the right setting after a few drinks, a friend, not a teacher that worked in the school that was like her new friend. Right. Also, she told her like it was silly gossip. She didn't say, like, I'm fucked up. I've done this thing. She was like, you know, with Eric, like Eric.
It took a while. Her friend had to drag it over. But then when she finally revealed it, the way she said it and it was funny that she said it's Eric like her teacher friend should know a hundred percent. She's like like Eric.
Eric like Eric. Eric, the student.
You're just seventeen kids in America that school to so many. Eric, I have to it's a it's hot.
It's probably my number one. Like I've actually dated three Eric's get out. Yeah. Mike is my number one. Remember everyone say it was my. Yeah. So Eric is my number one. Like in terms of like numbers of guys that I've actually had significant things with. One of them was that Born Again Virgin. That was that was my neighbor. Oh yeah.
I don't know. I mean not our number ones in terms of who we actually enjoyed sleeping with, like ten out of ten. Didn't enjoy any of them I slept with. And then one was like, I don't even remember it. I was so drunk all the time. Oh, it was super all the time. Every time. You were great. Jolli, this is back in Atlanta. But yeah, check it out, guys. I think that it's a good watch.
You'll enjoy it. And I like the themes of like, you know, that he's not like the man, you know, that he like was abused and taken advantage of. And it's interesting, they really pull back that curtain and show the psychological damage it did to him, which I appreciated, because you can get caught up in like, I don't know, he was eighteen. This he this was something that he wanted. They had a, quote unquote, consensual relationship.
But then you're like, no, what it does with that type of abuse of power is damaging the way that he's treating women. When he goes off to college, he's fucked up. Yeah. And they do show that, which I appreciate. Me, too. And I was my favorite episode of Episode Sex. Yeah. Like the thought was really interesting. I like that they show the men, his male friends versus people, friends reactions. Yeah.
So, yeah. Check it out guys. It's a it's a great watch and we will give you our final thoughts after Episode Ten airs. OK, a couple more Murex we have. I just want to plug this Andrew Schultz, former guest of ours. We know a lot of you guys are fans. He is a Netflix for part series that came out on the seventeenth show I talked about last year called Home for Christmas. I think it's like a Swedish show or something.
It's been dubbed. They're coming back for season two, which is out now on Netflix. It came out on the eighteenth. So those are two things for you. And then this movie I absolutely loved, this is the first ever studio backed holiday rom com to center on a queer couple. It's called Happy a Season. It's on Hulu. It stars Kristen Stewart and just this like all star cast. We have Aubrey Plaza, Daniel Levy Levy from Schitt's Creek, the mom from Step Brothers, OK.
And Allison Aubrey, who is incredible. It's she is she plays like this bitch of a sister. Her role is incredible. It's so good. I laughed out loud a lot in the first half, I was laughing out loud, I rarely laugh. I love to laugh. I laugh in person all the time, but like to something to make me laugh. That's I that I'm watching. It's kind of rare. So I was laughing out loud.
It's like just the like the writing is really funny. And then I cried through the whole end. So it is an emotional ride and I've seen mixed reviews from the queer community. I've seen a lot of praise for it, but I've also seen some reviews that it can be a little triggering because kind of the basic storyline is that Kristen Stewart has this girlfriend and she's bringing her home for Christmas, but her family does know she's out. So there's a lot of that like shame surrounding coming out, which I can understand would be triggering to some people.
So just like a trigger warning. But I just I found it to be really enjoyable and poignant and just love to see a holiday rom com centered around a gay couple no one loves, like an ensemble cast more than I do. I don't even care if the movie's got Valentine's Day. Yeah, that love ensemble cast. I love an ensemble cast. There's what else is an ensemble cast just like Valentine's Day love actually. Yes. Even the family stone.
Yeah, it's it's just so good. So I recommend that you guys check it out. You know, they're my rocks.
Do you know what I thought was so cute? As you said? You know, I love to laugh. I laugh like it's a dating profile. Like I love I mean, can you imagine a person like me? But I don't like is laughing. I hate to laugh. I love smiling.
It also it's based in Pittsburgh. Oh, well, now you have me. I can't wait to watch this. Yeah. Ensemble cast in Pittsburgh.
Girl or my body, I, I love to laugh and you know, you know, I like obsessed with Aubrey Plaza.
I am obsessed with her like my number one. She's from Delaware too. Well, Allison Aubrey is on one of my favorite shows of all time, which is Mad Men. She's the wife, Allison Aubrey. In this movie is the role that I would love to play if I was an actress. She's just a bitch. She's got the face for it. Yeah. You know, and stone cold cut. Yeah. And she Aubrey Plaza, also on my favorite shows of all time, Parks and Rec.
So, so good. There's also I love all these racks because people are going home for the holidays or maybe there are a lot of holidays so they'll have stuff to do. Yeah. And Amy Chan, the last thing I do like Amy Chan from one of our favorite episodes, Break Up Camp released a book, her first book by the same title. So you guys loved her. You can check out that book, too. Yeah, that's a good read.
Yeah. OK, well, you made me think of it because it was so nice for you to recommend Andrew's Chow. So we always like to to send you to people that you guys like. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, we didn't even talk about who we have on the show today, but it's cabinet. I mean, they're huge. They're two incredible moms. They have a really fun brand, kind of like ours. They have a podcast.
They travel. They used to travel the world and do shows. So we're going to enjoy them. Didn't even mention it. Yeah. About kids and motherhood and having sex and all the things having a business there were there. Great. So we're excited. Introduce you guys. We will literally cover it in like five minutes. We are just going to go through a few of our partners for you guys. I am telling you about neutrophil, OK?
My hair looks incredible. We can all I can't stop staring at it, especially today. OK, my hair has been growing like crazy. It's so long, it looks so good. And I know that it's because of neutrophil, because I have taken a break from neutrophil before, just out of pure procrastination on ordering more and playing to me about it every day. And I feel a difference. And so I'm like, Ashley, get your shit together, get back in there and be taking your beautiful morning night.
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All right, Rena.
All right, guys, we are really so excited for our guests today. They are the co-hosts of the wildly successful podcast hashtag Montreaux and the authors of the national bestseller Katten That's Mom Truth. Please welcome to the studio catnap.
Yes, hi. Hi, guys. Thank you for being with us. We're so excited. And who wants you have a dog with you. So what's what is her name or his name. She's a Bernie Doodle. She's a lover. She likes to cuddle. She is well, she is a big she thinks she's like the third like. Yeah. She thinks they should be very comfortable and confident in her position. Right. In between the two of us.
Yeah. So this is incredible. We have a dog too but he's like not he, he doesn't give a fuck about us. He's just like loving you. She just is always she's always around you. If you're there, she's there.
You two live together. No, no. God, no.
From what you say you have a dog would be like, you know, mine too. Like the podcast dog. You know, we have like March with him. We say welcome to the house studio with us and Julie, which I didn't say that. I am so sorry. Oh, God. To someone else for a loop there on one motor lawn. Really, it was the dog, this dog. You way to go. But you really upstate you could drive your great show dog so I can hire you.
So you guys are coming us in Canada from your car. That's right. Troyen as fuck. But yes, we are in our car doing the same. We made canniness. That's about it. And a few other things to do that were top secret. But we made Bernini's that was the highlight of the day. Well, I have to tell you, I heard about you guys first. A girlfriend of mine is really loves you. She's a mom of two.
And she told me about you guys and I started following you. But the interaction that I had where I realized something that we had in common was when I was booking our male strippers for our Atlantic City show and I was on the phone with this guy. You probably know him from Hunka Mania. And he was like pitching to me. And he was like, have you heard, Akhaten, that we work with Kattegat? That they were the official strippers of Cabinet and his name started with an eight.
So and whatever we worked with them, we performed at Caesars. We had the hunger mania guys. And I just think it's so funny, like we share strippers with you guys and so that the Romeo is actually. Yes, you have to talk about Romeo. He's our deejay. He's with us every Thursday night. He comes on the road with us. He like is literally, you know, we've had them for three years, those guys. And we created a team.
We now have added one from Australia. His name is Will We have a whole team waiting?
We've taken them like across North America. Oh, my God. Like one hundred and fifty shows. And Romeo's been, I think almost every single one. Yes.
So we have about Romeo. We we. In Atlantic City, and we we had this thing where we were going to face time in the guy that Raina was dating at the time and how much we have him on the screen, and then Romeo was going to come out and be on Raina. And we were like, just tell us what you plan on Romeo. Like, what are you going to do? He was like, don't even worry about.
He was like insulted that we would even question him. And he was like, just be ready for it. He came out. He picked her up with her swivel chair. Yeah.
Yeah. And it was in a space that's like guys, that is like that's a Sunday night, you know what I mean? Like that while my man was on, like, the big projector screen above us in front of like a thousand people is wild. Our kids, our kids went backstage, met them. Our husbands are like on a first name basis with them. Like, yeah, they're part of the family. Flown them in for a photo shoot.
Yeah. There they're literally a high degree, like a hundred and fifteen cities or something we've done in the UK. In Europe we've got her and Romeo came with us. No. Oh yeah. No.
I want to take an international vacation with Romeo. Yeah. No, no.
We stayed in the house with the team. We didn't stay with them, but with our tour team they all stayed with them. No, we're like family, you know, literally. We have a few podcasts with Ramiele. So before we get you, I want to introduce what you guys actually do and how the podcast came about, because we were talking about this offline. But just so the audience can catch up, we did an episode about not being sure if we wanted to have kids and we brought you guys on because you're like the US that are married with kids, but you like I make it work and you're doing all these things and you have this incredible business and Utah.
And we thought it would be really interesting to talk about just like traditional notions of like motherhood and marriage and things like that. But we ask everybody, what gives you the right? So every person just what's your background? Why do you talk about this? How did you get this? We just love to like a quick synopsis and then we'll get into it. What gives us the right to talk about anything as far as motherhood is the experience of having seven children all under the age.
Like right now, they're all like eleven and under. But they were I think they were all under the age of six. What gives us the right to to talk about the experience of being independent, resilient women who need to make an income for themselves? And a business is being raised by two single moms who didn't have a lot but were able to prove to their daughters that they could that they could do and be anything. And that at the end of the day, like things can be really hard.
But if you you know, if you're happy for your kids and you can find some sort of joy in the world, then you can actually have a good time that laughter's therapy. No matter what our mothers went through. We both have partners right now and we're husbands. Yeah, I was like, wait, you mean like, what are we talking about in life?
Like, I share the load of like of the world, but they didn't have it. And so we're just like people like what gives you the right to fight, like to find happiness in this crazy world? Well, the fact that we have healthy children and that we're able to work and that we're able to to find fun together.
So, you know, I just think that, you know, so often women are that they can't get along and women have to hate each other, that women can't support each other. And I think that we are just trying to kind of let women know you can all do it differently. And at the end of the day, like, it doesn't have to be a major competition about who, you know, let's not tear each other down to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.
I think that that is we're trying to inspire women to start focusing on their own happiness and stop comparing themselves to what they think they should be and just and just be you, because life's hard enough to try to be something that you'll never be. And, you know, one of one of the arms of our business is actually social and collective, where we actually do webinars and we teach people the things that we learned along the way all by ourselves, not from one school, but from teaching ourselves over the past decade on how to grow a business without spending, without spending much money.
And honestly, when we look back on the years growing, when we when we wanted to gain insight from people, we always turn to other female entrepreneurs. And they were supportive and they and they lend a hand in their experience. And so that's another part of who we are and what we try to do for our community as well.
Yeah, that's amazing. And you guys, I know you were friends when you were younger and you came back together like I know a little bit of your origin story. We don't need to tell that whole story today. But in terms of starting, your brand was part of the motivation because you did want something different out of life and to be a wife and a mother.
Honestly, I think the biggest part was that I don't I don't I don't think you have to define the two different aspects. I mean, our kids are our entire life, and that's just how it is, because we're in charge of keeping people alive. Like at the end of the day, if someone needed something where we needed to be there, we'd have to stop tours and we'd have to drop. That's just that is not the burden. But that's also the burden, the gift of motherhood.
Right. So I think it was. More that, you know, to be honest with you, our husbands didn't have the ink, there was a lot of women feel the pressure in a household when you're a stay at home mom and your husband's working full time. A lot of women feel like, oh, God, I wish I could contribute. And even though you're contributing, contributing so much, I think everyone's always looking for something more to do to help.
It's really to help the family, not you don't think of yourself. And what we found was we became better mothers, better people, better everything when we started to create something on the side and and work through it because we never had this vision. Like sitting here was never the vision. It was to make an income to bring into the family with something we love to do.
So there was something about like when we when we had our babies, we felt like totally lost. Like, you cannot prepare for being a mom. Some people just naturally fall into it, very foreign to us and and me. And I think that I totally lost my train of thought. So there you go.
But it's not how you guys found it reconnected, though, was it, when you became mother? Thank you. Thank you very much for that. When will we started hanging out together?
All the time. Like everywhere we go, it's like all these moms ask us our opinion on things like where'd you buy that? We were stay at home mom.
So we were like the experts and we're like, yeah, we don't know what the word is waiting until like five o'clock to have a cocktail. But because we did it more like longer hours, we somehow were experts. No matter how long you're there, you don't know anymore actually, you know, left you because you get so ass backwards. But everyone was like turning to us for, like, the answers and our advice. And we're like, oh, my gosh, we've run into someone on the street and they would just like verbal diarrhea, everything from like birth to marriage to their mother lost everything.
So when we started, we were just like, I guess people need to talk. So gave them a platform to speak or already for them. We just love this outlet of debunking this idea of this notion of like the perfect wife, the perfect mother. And we want to talk to you guys about that, because you were talking about this pressure of like being a stay at home mom. And it's like there's so much you have to contribute, but also you want to make your own money and also you ought to be your own person.
And like, the pressure to do that must be crazy.
And then the outside pressure from other mothers like on social media and things like that, I you know, I actually I'm going to check that because we are very fortunate in our community that we don't get a lot of, like, pushback. And also, I think that you kind of after a certain point when you're not looking for validation in social media, you begin to kind of like not see it, you know, like when people are trying to get us to kind of like, put down the Pinterest mom, we're like the best Pinterest mom say, like we hired actually one of the Pinterest moms that people like to sometimes, you know, to shit on.
And we're like that one, save my ass multiple, multiple times. When I forgot pizza lunch in, my little daughter was sitting in the office because she had no lunch. That interest PTA mom called me was like, I can take her home for lunch. Can you come and get, you know what I mean? So I think that we're like I think every woman has insecurities and struggles to be confident. Motherhood is just another layer to feel bad.
It's something. Or you can embrace it and realize, you know, you're doing the best you can. But just like everything in life, it's very easy to compare versus, you know, be shamed. I think we shame ourselves more as women than people shame for us. And we want to jump to the conclusion that people are shaming us when it's really our own shame where we go to bed each night and beat ourselves up.
You know, and I honestly feel like am through probably the experience of having seven kids doing this for so long. We know ourselves and who we are as moms so much that we don't put pressures on things that we are unable to do. Like I remember when my kids, a couple of my kids really young and I was like, I'm going to have a meal plan and I'm going to get the ingredients. I'm going to stick to that. I've realized through the years I'm not that person.
I'm like, I'm the person who decides what's for dinner at like four thirty. And I served at five, like, that's just the way it's going to be. And so if someone even makes like a like a side like crack of like calling you something like somebody recently referred to me as a disorganize mom. And I was like, I'm completely not insulted by that. That is one hundred percent. And if you want to call me that, I totally agree.
So, you know, when you know yourself, it's like I can't hurt my feelings. I already know I'm like that. Yeah, right. And we say that all the time. Also people project. So when people like, put their shit on you, it's like whatever they're dealing with, they just want to be validated for the choices that they're making. And they don't like that. You do it differently because they're insecure in their own life.
Like we talk about totally shit all the time.
And I honestly and honestly think that that's something that people learn in life and some people will never be able to see it that way. Like when I when I was first I had my first baby. I wanted to believe that everything I was doing was the right way, because if I was doing it, if she was doing it in a better way than me, then why am I doing it like this? I have to believe in myself. My way is kind of the best way through experience, I see now that people can do it.
People can do life any way they want. It doesn't mean that just because they're doing it differently, that means bad or there's this better. But that takes maturity and confidence and experience. Yeah, one hundred percent. We agree, but this feels like a good time. Just to take a very quick break to talk about our other partners for this episode, and we'll pick this conversation right back up with Kat and that I am going to pop off about Fatfat fun.
You know, I get so excited to talk about this. The winner box is so good. It's available now. It is on sale. Now, if you guys don't know if the fun is a seasonal subscription box, you get full size beauty products, fitness, fashion, lifestyle products and all for the price of pretty much the box is like less than the cost of just one of the items in it, which I'm going to tell you about the items now.
Some of the things I got in the winter box, I got this robe that a lot of you guys have seen in mainstream stories. I have been living in it. It's the summer and rose cozy robe. It retails for seventy dollars. I also received this Murad Rapide collagen infusion, which I'm obsessed with. I feel like I literally see a difference and this tulis skin care rose glow and get it cooling and brightening. Ibom, you just like put it on your eyes and like it brightens under your eyes.
It gets so incredible. You're glowing actually online and it's full size. I know I got the the cutting boards is another thing I got and I got the facial brush that's just like this. It's like a dry brush but it's made for your face, which I'm just like obsessed with or scrunches. There's mascara, there's blush, champagne flutes like I cannot the stuff you get to and you can customize it. So you get to choose the stuff that you want in your box so you can always get the perfect box for you.
And these are great to gift. Also, we love that they're passionate about showcasing amazing women. 16 female founded brands are in this winter box alone this season. So we just love that. Obviously that goes without saying. And again, you cannot be the price and we're going to give you a discount on top of their already super low, unbelievable price. So vapid fun is a seasonal subscription box with full size beauty, fitness, fashion and lifestyle products.
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I know they're speaking of things you can gift to yourself or other people orgasms. Speaking of boxes, we're talking about DAIM. It's a sex toy company. I am loving their products since we found them. There's so much variety. They look so beautiful. I'm going to tell you about a couple of ones that I'm really liking. But just to start, they are a woman founded company. It is tested on real vaginas, allows you to test it on.
But they are they are making the world a happier place, one vagina at a time, OK? They make toys for couples. They make toys for individual people. The shape is beautiful. The packaging is gorgeous. I just I think that they've, like, really leveled up like the packaging for sex toys. They look beautiful. I have my my vibrators rose gold. It's just it's I mean, maybe it's dusty. It's quartz. OK, dusty.
It's dusty like. Yeah, it's not dusty because I use all the time the ice blue. I feel like that's my vibe. Oh 100 percent good. If I opened your vibrator box inside another mine, everything that they sell is the EVA two. It's a hands free vibrator. It just like goes on your clit, whatever. It's waterproof, it's a couple vibrator. If you want you can use it by yourself. Also, it has three speeds.
It's a medical grade. Silicone includes a charge in case we need to hone down. We need to like double down on the EVA two hands free. You just stick this on your, like, clamps inside. Yeah. On your clit, essentially.
And if you fuck with that thing on oh, I mean, out of this world, if you have a penis that can penetrate you and you get to put it inside you while you also put the EVA two on your clit like you're living the dream, do not complain about anything. It like clamps onto your vagina. It clamp is a weird world. Feels nice I promise. Yeah. It's like you little arms like like like like nipple class and OK, if you don't have a dick to go inside of you you can pair this with the arc which is a Giesbert vibrator, also super beautiful.
You can get it in ice color or the berry color which you can preorder again, internal or external reuse, waterproof five patterns and five intensities. These are just they're beautiful. It's a fun thing to give to yourself is a fun thing to try with a partner, set it as a gift. It's a beautiful thing to receive. You know, I'm like such a packaging whore. I love their packaging. Yeah. And of course, we can give you guys a discount.
So with Dame, your satisfaction is literally guaranteed for fifteen percent off your first order. You guys got a Dame Products, Dotcom ciggy and that's DME products dotcom. Maggie. All right, let's get back into our convo with Kandak. We both listen to this episode of yours, I think. From October or November, so it was it wasn't too long ago and the title is is Marriage isn't a cure like that was forever ago to me. No, I'm like, we are into a drunk, you know, if you were driving us, we're driving the night sometimes.
I just shook hands and I don't know what we said. Oh, well, you heard you were so eloquent. I mean, I listened to it in the shower this morning, so it's OK to thank you. We were sober, but the title was like it was so grabbing. Like marriage isn't a fairy tale. And that's what we love about you guys the most. If you're just so honest, like you say, the things people are afraid to say and we can obviously respect that.
That's what we try to do, too. But it was just like it was so brutally honest about kind of like what you sign up for, not in a bad way, but just like how you guys are talking about a book. I think I just read it. It's for my book. Yeah. So it was it was stuff that I don't hear a lot like and I think not you were saying, like, you make your own life path, you make your own choices, but when you get married and when you become a mother, you have rules that you follow to be a good mother, to be a good wife.
And it was just you guys were so honest and it was it was really great to hear. You know, it was like we have been talking about this more and more as we have grown as women and as we've been married for now over a decade each.
And I think that we're seeing marriage in a way that is very different than the way that when we when we got married. So I was reading this book, I am here with you. My daughter just texted me and she's at school. If I don't respond, she won't get the message. So, yes, I am here. This is just motherhood. That's that's a good part of the experience. Yeah. Yeah. You're getting there in the book that it was talking about, like, you know, this couple that basically decided that they wanted to try and it's very good and it's called the arrangement.
We didn't write it. We're not making money from selling it. But it honestly, it's like I feel like so many TV shows now and like books and like things are showing the truth behind what happens in a marriage and with a person. And the fact that the person when you get married, when you're when a lot of kids get married, let's say like, oh my God, I'm coming, I'm coming up to like thirty year. I'm in my late twenties.
Everyone seems to be getting married. And then you meet the person who could come across your path at any time. But it just seems like the right time you marry them. You don't even think about what it's going to be like to raise a family like work with a budget, potentially have a mortgage, like make all the decisions of a family, literally, like co CEOs of a business. That's what you're thinking about. You're thinking like a wedding, a honeymoon, like cute little brunches with your friends and then maybe having a baby.
Won't that be adorable? Like, you have no idea what reality is going to be. And not just it. It all comes crashing down, but it isn't. It changes. And I think that like as women or as people, you change to and night definitely the people, the the lives that we were living when we married the Merks is very different that the life that we're living now and we changed that they didn't change. They still have the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Life like not the exact same job with the same life. Right. And we have gone ahead and gone back to work, traveled like weeks on end without or without our kids like have brought in like a major income into the family. All these things we changed the game and that changes the dynamic of the drippers.
You know, they weren't like, oh my, what? You can travel with strippers a hundred percent. So there's been so much. And then the whole thing of monogamy. It's funny we asked we we talked to our doctors a lot. We talked to lots of different doctors and one of them women are always trying to like often are trying to raise their libido like a man. A man takes a pill which brings stimulation to his penis so he can get erection.
You can have sex. Women want to want to do that. This one doctor is like and there was this like this pill that came out that apparently you make your A.A.. Oh, my God, they're like, good. Here is how you raise your sex drive, find a new partner. That's the only way you're going to be a doctor. No.
Yeah, I was deciding that a brand new like like, you know, the first time together, the passion. Nobody can convince me that that same feeling or even that same kind of passion exists like twenty years later. Like a bull.
No, I'm three years later. It's hard to maintain it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like layer and I have a question about your husband's like you layer in like kids and travel and work and all that stuff. But it sounds like you guys married people that are I mean you tell me but like a good support system and can be a teammate. Allow you guys to travel unlike like what was that like not being a wife but being this whole other business person.
Now I know and imagine we had no idea that those men were going to be the men they are now or that they'd ever have to deal with this like we really scored or we're very. However, unknowingly clever, way back when that we saw a man that was going to be like, yeah, you know, when my when when I got married, I was the girl on the speaker dancing, you know, with, like, taking my clothes off, you know, not because not getting paid for it just because I was always a little bit more on the outrageous side.
And he never tried to change me. And I think that that's the biggest thing is, you know, if you are looking for a partner, find someone who you don't have to become someone you're not. And like, you know, just try to be the person you with, you know, yourself. Well, when you get married, you're not you're not looking to find yourself and making a decision based on who you want to be or who you think you should be.
You're getting married on who you are, actually. And I think we've we because of our childhood and how we grew up in our teen age, should I feel like we really tested our own limits to figure out we had to get comfortable with ourselves really fast and we did at an early age. And I think when you don't apologize for who you are, you're your spouse doesn't question that. He just is like, all right. Like I get like it's not like we don't ask permission.
We just this is what we're doing. We're a partnership and they're like, OK. And then as far as you know, as far as the whole being like choosing to bend the rules of staying together as one person for the rest of your life, like we are happily married, whatever, but like the institution of it all is actually a made up construct. It's a trap. And you were like, we should decide in ten years if we want to keep doing this, like it's like a mortgage or whatever.
It's like it's funny that you said that in the episode of like ten years.
It's like, who decided this, though? And I don't want to keep calling this episode. It's just fresh to me. But you said, like, did the church decide this guy did like history I just saw just feed you the episode. We just I love this notion. I love to speak on a more because it's like who made these decisions and why haven't we updated? It's like the Constitution. Why are we still doing stuff that somebody invented in 1776?
All white men. I would even look at a manual from twenty eighteen. I know. I don't know. You wouldn't even buy a car from twenty ten. You know, like really you're not, you're not looking to buy. You're exactly right. No I think that I'm putting you to always think about this a lot. Clearly we have seven kids and then the idea of like who I am, I am heterosexual, I am gay and just making that decision at such a young age, instead of like being able to, like, openly try everything out, we're like we hope well, we hope that there's a lot more openly fluid people as as the generations come and that they don't feel like they have to marry one person with them forever.
That's looking for a couple of what I hear. I mean, I just hope that I hope the kids don't feel that they have to follow into this mold that has been here since, whatever you said. Yeah. We don't know who made these rules up, but I really do begin to be like, wait a minute, I didn't I didn't see the rule book. No one ever told me the rule book. I just did. That is so not like us to follow the rules, to just do it.
Like I do think that it is nothing to do with love like you when you begin to like step out. And it's not about the person, it's about like, you know, the sanction of what what this what what is actually marriage like when you really begin to break it down, you're like, oh well, it's really where do you sleep? You sleep with someone that's really weird. Your whole we train our kids every single night to sleep alone that I don't want to have a house with somebody we did know.
I'm not trying to live with somebody, share a bed. I work so hard to have a California king bed to myself. I'm going to share it forever. Never. I can't wait. That's all I want to do. All I want to share our bed. I want the attention. Twenty four nine. I'm sorry. I want to keep going. I liked your training. You want to get married. See you're dying to get married. I'm not dying to do anything.
I feel like I'm really happy. If that's the next door that I walk through, that's the next door. But I'm super proud. But like I get to work with actually build this business, do what we do. I don't I'm not dying to do anything. But she does want to, like, live with somebody. And I'm like, I want to live in the same neighborhood as my, you know, like long term partner, like maybe same like same building, maybe just like different.
Oh, I hope I hope more people are able to like to be able to follow that path if that's what they feel like and not feel that they need to move in with someone because that's the way it should be. So I like I hope more people feel free enough to live life the way you're going to be fucking engaged and married in two years. Well, we thought that when we started the podcast. I don't think that's right.
But I want you to know you you teach your kids to, like, be independent and then show them at twenty two. It's like, I guess what. Here's your surprise. You sleep with someone forever. Like, that's great. Congratulations. You just got someone you share a blanket with no different noise. It reads funny cuz like gets up and moves but that's fucked. That's fucked up shit right there. I'm going to give that to us now.
And you become such a supportive partner. You like clean for them and cook for them and do their larger then you hobel them and then you also have to do all of that for them and fuck them and then job you know like shit.
Yeah. Yeah. Jobs, by the way, I just put it out there, you know what I mean, even like him, like sausage. So why the fuck would I like a dick in my mouth? You know what I mean? I'll have it. I'll have a dick inside of my face 24/7.
I love it.
You know, we need to have a multiple house of people who can take care of all those jobs you like. You actually like a dick. I love ADEC. I love it out in my mouth. I like the sounds that a man makes when you blow them. See, I need an active participant. I need to be talking to me about how good it feels, how good I am at it. I want someone who's like, really like you information.
So if you could tickle their back and you'd think this is the I love tickling. If they were like like making noises. You like affirmation. Yeah.
But I also like a dick in my mouth. I don't know, like if their back was a dick in my mouth. Yeah. It feels like anything else to do.
I don't, I don't have four kids. Seven kids are not busy.
You so ok so you're like let's let's just blow job tonight. Let's blow job tonight. Let's put it this morning. Wow.
OK, you are. Well my husband is not listening to this shit. That's all I've got to say.
I can't believe I don't have seven husbands. It's crazy silent over here on birthdays. You've got them. But one time my ex I gave him two on his birthday and I just I that's when I retired. One day was my period.
It was his birthday. Whatever it was, it was it was one time. But I was like, no, there's not enough hours in the day for one a year like you already do twice a day.
It was once, guys, don't give me too much credit. OK, so but we just love this that you guys found something else to like to do and we've talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess we did. We don't feel like we have much right now with travel was a huge escape for us because you know, I think every woman and mom out there who no matter what you are consumed, you're consumed by by motherhood.
And then when you step away, you actually can't do it. And so it is which is great, which is great because they have to take a step in and you can't control your day. Sorry, buddy. Men respect our husbands respect differently when you're out and gone versus when you're working from home, you know what I mean?
Like, it's like they do. They actually don't know how to make breakfast or pack a lunch when you're there. But when you're gone, they have to figure it out. And like that was that was such a great thing. I was like for my for my for for my husband. Being a parent is learning for the first time that he was capable of doing it, because a lot of what a lot of women do is they just do it all because they know they can do it better and faster and more efficient.
But usually the reason is because they've had more experience, because they've just been like, let me do it. So when we started traveling and going, going away, we finally realized that, like, they can either put a team together, which as we helped facilitate with like caregivers, grandmas and them, but that that that everyone survives, we're away. And that was really good for us to know, too. And most women don't let their partners be capable.
So your husband, your husband's only is capable or your partner is only as capable as you let them be.
So really, at the end of the day, that's if your husband doesn't know how to pack a diaper bag bag. It's not because he doesn't know how. It's because you packed it every single time he left. Has the baby. Yeah.
I mean, it's a different relationship when all of a sudden you get married and you your part, you don't you're not a married couple. You're a partnership now where you're literally you're managing people and you're like bosses together. And I think it's just, you know, you have a lot of time to think. So you have to really you have to really put out there what you want. And if you want someone who is capable, you have to you have to trust that they'll do it differently, but that they're going to get it done.
And, you know, they're going to do the best they can. And they can only be better by doing experience in your ways, not necessarily a better way, you know what I mean? Like, you just got to we got to let go is women and it stop resenting people for not doing things when we don't let them. Yeah, OK.
I have a burning question. The stuff that we're talking about with you've been together for ten years. You know what your doctor said? The only way to like, get it up and get juiced up is a new person like all these like thoughts. I mean, do you guys talk about the stuff with your husband's like or is it super open communication of, like, the type of stuff you talk about in the podcast?
No, no, no, no, no. John, you got you know, I, I do.
I mean, do they listen?
Because they listen to the show, they think more of a reflective conversation than it's about us. Of course, it's about we're speaking for the women.
You're really those conversations are more just like, huh. Back like it's like we're walking our audience through these ideas with us. It's not like we have a thesis on like marriage and fantasy's. You know, it's really I think that is we become more confident mothers and women and we like kind of grow into our own selves. We always say we don't need our husbands, we actually don't need them. We choose them. And they kind of got offended by that way back when you and I.
It's just a fact I don't need you, you know, that's that's more powerful that I choose you versus me needing you. And I think that when you begin to choose the person that you're with every day as an active choice, you know, it is just a different perception than needing someone. There's a different mindset that you need. You need this person. And, you know, I'm really thankful I have him and he's got a great dad.
And it's not about him. It really is. And it's just about this conversation that as women, I think we all walk into relationships to save men or to make them feel good or would become these women we think we should be, which is like, you know, I'm going to cook, I'm going to clean up dinner. I'm going to do all of this because you go and make money and I'll do everything. And then you grow up and get the fuck is that?
You know, you're like, yeah, and we don't have these open comers. I think that there's conversations that you like, can I like talk a lot? And we talk about deep shit, we talk about big stuff, we fantasize about the world and we like look at things like the institution of marriage and have a conversation about where it came from and how we feel about it. Monogamy like our husbands are just going to sit there and be like, that's what you want to divorce.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's now like, I just I need to beat the shit out of topics with my girl conversations. I love that. You just I like this notion. Do you like trust them to do certain things instead of hobbling them and you trust them to allow you guys to talk about certain things. You're not asking for permission for it. And it's like it's empowering them in a certain way. It's like allowing them to be.
But it's also like not asking for permission. I don't know how to like, wrap it up really well, but it just sounds like you have these partners you really work to, like, be your own people and you've allowed them to be their own people. And we encourage you to go to them as much as they want. Yeah, it's funny. It's like I mean, are we we want them to go and be in anything that they want to be outside of the house.
Go, go. My husband loves hockey and he my son is in like a high level of hockey. And I know a lot of people like complain about them always being gone. And I'm like, it makes him happy. He likes to go and like, go like you go go spend your three hours in the arena. That's what gets your. That's exciting for you. Yeah. You could power you get covered is them like my husband and I were never like home together because either I was driving to dance or we have three boys and there was constant like hockey, baseball, everything.
And now that it's like we're always just there, I'm like, God, I miss those extracurriculars that took you out of the house.
It gives you a life, you know.
Well, we want to talk about Koban and we also want to talk about sex. But I just have to say one thing. I think that what you guys have is so special. It's what we have. It's this best friendship. And it's so important because the narrative is that women are trying to find their best friend and their husband. And it's like, no, like that's your job or have your best friend, too. It's so important. Like, you guys are a partnership, your business partners, your best friends, that's your other partner.
So you don't put everything on your husband. I think it's the thing of, like, I got to find this person that's going to take care of me and be my best friend and like have sex with me and and raise children with me. And it's like maybe we take the best friend out of that and we have an actual best friend like I love that mean that it's like women stand up at the altar and they say, I'm marrying my best friend in the year, but your friends are all there.
And they spent a thousand dollars to be in your wedding and my dresses. And they're like, what the fuck?
Yeah. And it's like it's like you say to your partner, like, be this comforting safe place, but also surprise me and fuck me, but also be trustworthy and be my best friend. It's like no one can be all these things.
We talk about this a while ago. No one can be all these things. And I am not to the best friends in the in the audience for the wedding who have been there with you for like twenty years. They'll be there when you divorced, you know.
I mean, want me to watch, you know, obviously like I watch The Bachelor and all of that. Should we just watching the twelve dates of Christmas. Oh my gosh we love them. These girls always. What are you looking for? And looking for a best friend. Yeah. And you're like we're like Soberon. Don't look to your man to be your best friend because you want to have children with him and you want to you want to run a household together.
So what you're looking for in a man is first lust, definitely like attraction, but you're looking for a long term partner to run like like a business in a household with you want your girls is your best friends. And my my friend saw this article once and she was just saying we put so much emphasis on the friendship relationship with your partner, but like, you really couldn't do it without your best friend. You know, nothing is more important than that.
So there should be more emphasis on who you decide to be best friends with. Like, think about that a lot before you trust everything in your best friend, because that's the person who's going to be there that you can tell absolutely everything to and is going to be there when your relationship breaks up.
Yeah, and I love that you said that we need to think about these things as a partnership because like when I was getting married, no one ever said to me, like, what is the next what does the future look like? Can this person support you? Or she was I could clarify. I was engaged years ago. But no one, including my mom, which I mean probably is the only person I ever would have listened to it from, but no one ever said to me, like, can you raise children with this person?
Are you going to be able to be financially stable with this person? Like, I loved him. I was in love. He was good looking. He was a nice partner. But like for the time, he was the life partner of a twenty five year old, you know what I mean? No one said to me, think about this. The other thing is, is that, you know, when you're engaged and everyone's happy and excited, they're like, he's going to be a great dad, you know, and he's going to be a great provider.
Like they're just going to see him that way because that's what you want to hear. That's what you're going to hear people say.
Yeah. So, I mean, just to wrap it up, I feel like you guys, your your life is so great. Your marriages are probably even better just because you have each other. You have other this other person, I think it's like a really special thing. OK, let's talk about you mentioned covid. We can just talk about that in the end with like some sex stuff. I personally think I think about mothers all the time. I, I don't know how they do it.
Like the mothers that were homeschooling their kids and just it's changed everything. And I can't even begin to wrap my head around the pressures and how much moms have had to do throughout all of this. And I know you guys, you've said it has changed you. We just want to hear a little bit about how it how it has, you know, a part of me.
I mean, I know that it will all be forever changed. I think, you know, some of our children will well, the way that we do things well. But I feel like sometimes even when I look back into what was the hardest part about being raising children and doing all this and that, I don't even know if I'm going to be able to know as much as I like right now until I look back and reflect on it. Because if I if I try to think too hard about how how it's been, I don't know if I'll be able to, like, get up tomorrow.
It's like I have just got to keep on going on like a machine. Keep telling the kids. We say, like, often moms don't get sick, like when everyone's sick in the house, they don't get sick until there is room for them to catch a cold or get the flu or get the thing like it's like you all dodged a bullet, except that one can keep on going. They keep it together till like they're allowed to. And I think that's very much what moms are doing right now is just, you know, we're just like nuts that I think we'll pick the pieces up sometime next year and be like, what if I don't I can't remember.
I think we're all just like, what day is it? What time is it? It's a lot of monotony. It's a lot of there's no time to ourselves at all. So like when I think when we're out and we look back, we'll see parts of ourselves that like are missing some pieces that need to be rebuilt in ourselves. I think our kids are kind of fine, at least our kids. We've given them a pretty great fucking covid there.
But I think for us, we'll going on a bit long, you know what I mean? Yeah, we thought the few weeks was think all of us really came out of the gate super hard with, like, sour dough, bread and all that shit. Now you see, you know, I was in a salad bread real long time.
Can I ask you guys a question? Because this is so foreign to me having children. I don't know how old all of your kids are. Kids really understand what's going on or do you explain that to them like what you're going through and what's happened? I'm going to break your heart for one second that my daughter came home and said to me, she's in kindergarten, so she's five. And she was telling me how she's not allowed to talk at lunch time.
And I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, We all have to sit with our masks off in silence. Because when you talk to spread germs so we don't talk while we eat, we just sit there and eat and it's silent. And I'm like, oh, that is so fucked up. And and then side no, because we do have seven kids because our masks are off.
So they can't. Oh my God. Yeah, they can't talk a side note. A lot of my kids have expressed absolutely no concern, like no negativity towards being at school, the like have not you know, it's just for us to sit there and you're like you're like because they don't know any different. And that's what's heartbreaking. Like, they don't know that lunch is supposed to be fun and outgoing and boisterous. You know, they they and like they do ask my daughter, ask when can I get, like, the little ones, when can we get close to people, you know, they want off, but they're really good at wearing them like they're way better than we are wearing them.
Yeah. And they they, you know, restaurant just little. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, my husband said he works in a profession, whatever, and there was an uproar that they had to wear masks, grown men. And he was like, my fucking five year old wears it every day for nine hours without a break, like, come on, you know what I mean? Absolutely.
I love what you said about like, you just can't think too hard about it. You know, like we we started this year, we were touring in Australia was the best two months of my life where this is going to be our year. We had a whole our whole tour planned with everything for the year versus do our holiday show at Carnegie Hall. We had it in my living room. And so I can't actually think about it. And I'm not a mother.
And, you know, it's my struggles are nothing compared to like people who have had to raise kids throughout this and people kind have experienced loss and they've lost their job and they lost family members. So I want to recognize that. But it's like I actually can't think too hard about it.
I can't think about what we would be doing outside of a lot about the moms who are single moms who've lost their job and are like literally trying to pull it together. Like, I really know that all the time. I think like so many things, you know, so it's all on the spectrum. But I do think women can feel loss even though they have the privilege of having, like, a house, you know, like we all feel lost in some way.
It's you can have those feelings. But we also acknowledge very much that many women are really the burden is so heavy on them, so heavy and huge, and people with special needs kids and who have special health issues, who can't send their kids to school because of asthma. It's fucking it's huge. It's huge right now for those we talked about that last week in an episode like Pain is not a contest, like it's everybody's tazers. It's not there's not like a hierarchy.
But I like to recognize it. Like, we've still been pretty good. But it is it's like you can't feel it when you're in it.
We will look back in a year and we'll know more like really smart that you went to Australia because we got that off for, like a year ago and we couldn't because we have seven kids and it was it was going to take us.
All of our tour is basically around Australia in relation to having kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was too much. It was too much. We had to say no if I could kick your ass every day, it was it was just me wanting to go. I was selfishly want to do like and we were like, can we talk about what's our agent like. You spoke some shows actually wants to go to see is that's what I want.
But yeah, I went I wish we're like, oh God, how long. That means we have to go for like two and a half weeks. That's really long. We even got a tour date there. Like it'll be nine days because we're usually a week Max and we're like, fuck it, let's go, Romeo.
Romeo. Well, we know you guys. Your time is limited. We wanted to at least touch on sex. I even my my mom friends said, listen, you guys religiously were like, I just want to know more about like, how do you maintain a sex life? Are you having sex with seven kids during a pandemic?
It's just like I actually think I think I don't know, I don't have sex in winter.
It's seasonal sex person. And so right now, two colds. If you're not if you can't, like, there's a wind chill, what the fuck am I getting naked? You know what I mean? That's crazy.
I feel like the opposite in the when the summer. I wouldn't want to have sex because it's so high. Like I'm already sweating. I'm fine. I mean, at that point you're already sweating. Why not the chill? Why get colder for the. I'm totally joking. No, I love it. I think advice for any man this is like, listen, I have every excuse in the book to not get naked and do it, OK? I think that there's always time for sex and for working out.
I actually I we don't do both either. But there is time for people like, oh my gosh, like and I'm like, oh, I want to lose some weight. They're like, oh but you must be so busy with your business and your four kids. I'm like, I can wake up early. I could do it, I could do it. At the end of the day, there's always time for it. Same with sex. So I mean that there's that and then there's that.
You know, when you have a lot on your mind as a mom, the idea of like taking some time taking penetration is really horny and like thinking about things when he gets home from work, we're just going to put those kids to bed because she might be like that.
So she might. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be a horn dog if you ever have a kid. But they got ten years in ten years.
And with three or four kids, I don't know. I mean, if they exist, I think you'll always like a blowjob. I think you will. I think that that might be that. I think you I think that that's I think you have friends that love it. Yeah.
But how do you guys. OK, but this is about me, I. Everybody knows. How do you guys, like, get in the mood or Sarah, like literally find time with three kids in your room all the time? OK, but not much.
So you don't drink so much that you, like, pass out that's happened like you just got to drink enough to get in the spot where you're like, what did I do that last night?
You know what I mean? After I relate my life, she's like, Did you do it? I don't remember. I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, totally. And the way I do sometimes I say to Mark, I'm like, What? I don't know. I'm like the last name. I mean, it's like if he's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah. Or if he's like what I like nothing. Nothing.
Well it's probably I mean it's we talk about we had a really a therapist on recently and she was like kind of what takes away the sexiness of a relationship is when you just kind of become the same person, you know, like you're just like so much sameness and you guys still have your own individual lives, you know, like not the same as them. It's probably a turn on after you get done doing when you're like live shows and you're like, I just crushed it.
I did this amazing thing with Romi, more like shows. They are very you know what?
We couldn't be sexier. Her husband, they think like everything we do. I swear everything I do, he's just like that.
Wow. And influence to take you down. Yeah. He's just like, yeah, no, there's no problem there. I love that. I think you guys are both very sexy and sexy. Both. You think you still suck my dick.
You don't have one lady Dick. Yeah, you're metaphorical Dick. Well, thanks for answering that. We wanted to ask you, like, one more thing. If you want to share, if you have something like on, we just always like to end with, like, a little fun segment. Can you recall something fucking crazy that one of your kids has done recently that was just like, what the fuck?
Well, we were watching I was watching a movie I don't watch like PG movies with my kids because I want to watch the movie and be entertained by it. So I watch things. They definitely push the edge. So if they have kids that sleep over like we're not doing movie night, like they have to go like watch a kid movie with the kid who's sleeping over. I like if there's kids over, I tell them to leave my house. We're starting movie night because it's probably not going to be appropriate.
I think, like, there's nothing wrong with them. Using bad words are for adults to use and not for kids. Sex is something adults can do, but kids, kids can't do. And we were watching this like kind of like sexy scene. And my one six year old, he's like, I have a boner.
And then my other son does me to stand up in there. No, no, that's what I did.
I used to think Kid Bonar's would be really weird, tried three times. I didn't know that they knew what a boner was it six. They weren't.
Oh well we Congonhas I don't think you have a rash and I have an erection now and you're damn right this is my worst nightmare.
I don't know I what I do I'm sure you handled it beautifully but I would have said the same thing before I had sex.
I'm telling you, like when one of them used to get like boners all the time, was so proud and he's like, look, guys like walk around. But these other two very unexpected. I'm the one that usually gets it was like, no, but yeah, I guess they they associate they, they both tend to. When you told me that I thought they out of their pants down and they did taking our jobs. I said I was like that my daughter's like I like that's like, you know, a redhead.
How old's your daughter. She's the oldest are. Yes, she's turned twelve. She's just like, oh gosh. She's so used to them. Like, is your sister your own daughter, like seventh grade or sixth grade. And her little is all just like took their voters out. I can't let. Did your brother take that is I mean I never saw my brother's boner when I was a kid. I was I did. I blacked it out.
I didn't either.
I don't I don't say my age. I generally one day they're all going to be like, you know, when you talk about your childhood, it's like you're like grown ups talking like your siblings. Oh, my God.
My mom I remember we used to take our boners out so our brothers and older friends are going like, how old were you?
And they're going to be like, twelve.
No, I can't tell you how much this would have more to fight me before I had three boys. Like, No, of course. Yeah. I didn't even want to see their penis and balls when they were born. I was like, oh no.
When your kids do something really fucked up, do you have to reprimand them for it? But it's so funny. You can't stop laughing. Like, what do you do? That's I feel like that would be me as a mom. I would just be laughing, trying to reprimand them. Imai It's funny, my four year old this summer was playing like basketball with my husband. Like, he was like lifting her up and she missed the shot. And she goes, Jesus Christ, God damn it.
And Murph was like he looked at me. I was like, oh, shit. I was like, I like this, but I don't like when you hear, like, a little for you, they should like Jesus Christ, God.
I was like, oh, my God. And then my son recently he was at hockey skates for Donald because I didn't start whatever. And he was wiping out and the coach didn't know what he was doing the thing. And it all just kept her. He was, God damn it. And he'd followed, you know, like I mean, God damn it. He's only eight, so I can only imagine it for some people that's like, God damn it.
These are swear words. They would get in trouble at school. So the coach was just like I just knew who was I knew what was going on. I was just your God damn it, from across the ice. And I was like, yeah, I guess I think it's a normal word. Nothing. We you know what we tell them like like if it's so funny, we're just going to be like, listen, I know you think that's funny or like it was kind of funny, but like, it's not appropriate and like, let's let's kind of not do that anymore.
But like, you got super mad at them. If it's funny what we used to go to restaurants that other you like eat the finger to remember she was giving the finger to the waiter as you walked by. Oh, like this is amazing. She was like younger than poor, teeny tiny. And she was like in a booster seat and then she just be like this and he's the youngest of seven. You can imagine that she's going to say no, you know what it was.
But all the other ones were laughing. She's flipping off the waiter. She doesn't know what she's saying. Fuck you. She's just mine.
Were telling me a story recently that, like a little ride and I thought was me really cute. Like one for the money, two for the show, three for the whatever. And the middle one's for you and I.
We ended up like this and I was like, wait a second.
I thought you singing like a song you learned at school and this one's for yo yo also those the walk dance, you know. Yeah. She goes, yeah, they just pound on the floor. Yeah. Yeah the boys do. Wow. Yeah. And then my older daughter was like oh my God Mom. Someone at school did not know what whop stood for. I'm like oh most ten year old and 11 year olds don't know what Walker stands for.
Like what a loser all these other kids are. It's so she's just like you're like, hey, you tell to clean. She's like get a bucket and a mop like I can get. She's like, pussy, in case you didn't know.
Like, yeah, my dog ended up getting her period because he's to be spayed today. But you got to put it on Friday. No, no, no. My kids, our kids are really starting periods. I can I have tampons everywhere like they walk in, we're changing our tap and it's like no big deal. And so my, my, my son's friends like. So my husband overheard your son talking to my son about your dog getting her period.
And she said, I don't think my son knows about that.
I don't know if he had any sex questions. You just get your son, ask my son, he'll lay it out for you. This is why we get a period. I'll send him over here to Boner Night. We all take her.
But she also had a bath with her dog like she didn't know how else to. She got in the bath. She was naked and took the bath dog bath with the don't know how to bathe. Yeah, I know. It's of course you have to be crazy. It's a crazy. I have a male dog. I just I forget that like female dogs, I get periods like so so crazy with my dog will not she will be spayed.
She just. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. Even that one I would be. What's happening. Oh right. Like a million. Shocking when you see it you just forget it happens. Oh I never had a dog. I don't know if there's a diaper around. I'm like I'm not touching that diaper. Should you check out. Like I can talk to the and I got a dog.
No, I'm not. That would be me. I'd be like, I know I'm not helping. I'm sorry. I'm well, these stories are amazing. We love talking to you guys. I wish we could have you forever, but I feel like we could wrap up and tell everybody to find them. Yeah. So let's plug all your stuff in show. Yeah. Instagram, where you find you that everywhere.
And we're getting that podcast. I'm sure it's about three a week. We do Late Night Live where it's virtual events. We are going back on tour. We have dates as soon as we can get back out there. We have launched the Talib brand brand that I love. I like. That is a brand for teens to women. It's a brand with a mission. And then everything else we do is just social. Calm, collective is our business arm right now.
We're any entrepreneur can go and learn about how we grow our business and how they can do it too. And every single day on Instagram, every single day on Facebook, every net. And what's your all this stuff is on your website, which is great. What is the website address? Kattegat. That's, you know, some Bitachon dot com. I don't even know if it's a woman. It's probably a man who just is sitting on dotcom can like twelve thousand dollars for dotcom.
OK, yeah. Yeah. And I love the brand. And you guys work with your eldest daughters to create the like. They get to collaborate. It's really cool.
Yeah. It actually is a twelve twelve year in the making brand because when you have daughters who you don't want to try to fix as they grow up, you know, we're really passionate about not fixing our daughters. We're about empowering them to say fuck it from an early age. So we're not going back trying to teach them who they should be. Let's just be you. But whatever you are, Scar's, that's amazing in us. Talk about that a lot.
So you guys are listening. Go listen to all their podcast. I love you. That was a whole nother thing. If we had another hour, we would. John, of like empowering your your girls, but for another time. Well, thank you for having us. You guys really appreciate it. Thank you so much. You call Romeo. We'll talk to you tomorrow. I heard your mother died on stage, Romeo. We haven't had enough time before.
Oh, I got to send you guys the video. I want to see the big man watching the whole thing.
Just like you got a lap dance, but never a mustache. I stopped it, but I got a good I got a good eggplant.
Not sure. Not from Romeo. From our other one.
All right, guys. Well, thank you so much. It was such a pleasure having you. We hope to see you like in person one day. That'll be a day. All right. Bye, girls, ladies and girls. We prefer it.
OK, that's it for us, guys. You know where to find us girls. Got to E podcast dotcom. We are girls. Got a podcast on Instagram, Raina, Dot Greenberg and Ash on Instagram girls and her score. Got it on Twitter and YouTube. Dot com slash girl's got to eat. Yeah.
Merry Christmas guys. Happy holidays and have a great week by.