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I love that Jordanna said a couple of things where does this end is so funny, as if I gave be over Thanksgiving and she'd be like, come on, come to momma. And then she'd start rubbing her tit while making out with her.


She's not right. Hi, guys. All right, thanks. Hey, how'd you go from that, Trish, and what is that you did to my store?


I did a whole thing. So let me give you a story, because I get jealous when you hang out with other people.


I was alone with my in my truck. I was in the F 150 down the beach. Trish And you were at the beach. I get jealous.


You think it's the beach you didn't watch any of. She's like, you're trash. It's going you were on vacation.


I don't like to deliver your groceries. I might see you with somebody else. You know how I feel about this. All right. I'll look into these partners. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Body. Hey, how is Ashley Rhiner? Actually, it's not.


It's true. It's true and true to name my friends. Call me Trish. You have to do a Pittsburgh. Someone said, can you please do a whole episode in that voice? And I said, no for me to do it in my voice. And I said, yeah, Verena does a whole Pittsburgh friends.


I actually like my my stepmother's Dallas voice more. It's better. Yeah, it's Pittsburgh is tough. Like Delaware is tough business. Tough to stick with. Long term Dallas I could do all day. She's like Rhiner, your daddy loves me so much. I mean, most of the time. Most of the time he does the other time. Let's you let's do it. Trash is ready. What are we doing. We have two guys. The weather is nice.


It's going to rain in about an hour. I actually got to actually start recording exactly what I wanted to. Yeah, we did it, guys. All right. Let's thank some of our partners. We have so many good at New PA. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. My thanks to Dame products for supporting girls. Got eight dames. A woman founded company making toys first acts for fifteen percent off your first order. Go to daim products that comply.


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Get QIP Dotcom Osugi quip better oral health made simple and rewarding. I'm glad that you do that. I can't say, I can't say quip over and over again and spell it out. Calm. Calm is a hard you know I've said candida I just like rolled right through it.


Can't can't it. Yeah. It's almost like he had a candidate calm in stepbrother's. We can't talk it. We can't have stepbrother's. Not for religion. He goes Pam pan pan like calm. That's what that's what I'm afraid of. I had guys is live show week.


I can't believe it or not our first but probably going to be the best. I don't wanna give anything away but we have some really fun stuff planned. I'm really excited actually. I let her plan the show because I wanted to play it all the live shows when we were on tour. So that's what I should plans it. And I come and it's great. I literally sit right down. I go hear me out and I say all these things and she goes, Yes, yes, just fuck it.


Just do it. I just you're good at it. You're just good at it. I like when you do it. Yeah. So it's going to be great. Tickets are still available up until the moment that we go live. Yeah. No sense of urgency, but what are we going to do. Where are you going to go. Where you guys have nothing else to do. Yeah. Break out the alcohol. Your girlfriends get the tickets.


Yes, get the tickets. Girl's got to eat podcast dotcom again this this Wednesday, September 2nd, 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time. So 6:00 pm for our West Coast and whatever else for the you know, all the you know your you know, your time zone.


Yeah. You know where you live. And London. I wanted to say also get your charcuterie Shakuri. You did it. And we have the board Lord the king of all country boards on the episode today, my Lord and Savior Gerogery with his co-host, Jordanna Abraham of the UA podcast. But I wanted to tie in charcuterie while I could. That was a great Segway. Thank you so much. I loved your so much. Yeah. Awkwardly brought it up on his show.


On his. Yeah. So we're going to be on their show as well. So we did like a fun little swap and you guys sent us awesome emails. We. Really great topics, and Jared and Jordanna helped us break down all the topics for you guys. Yeah. So stay tuned for that. That is what we're doing today. A cornucopia of topics. Yeah, it's a lot. There's mouth kissing and blood.


Where do we stand? Yes, there's a lot. Lot.


There's like a PSA about blowjob videos. Jared got really serious. Yeah. Jared, really. He took a feminist angle on that. So what was the last time you saw Jared?


OK. All right.


So you know what? This was on their episode two. We should be on there this Sunday, I think like this a week from yesterday. Yeah, they do Sunday episodes now. And in in the episode with him, I referenced March 12th, which is a date that will stick in my mind forever because I feel like it was the last semi normal, like we knew Covered was here. But we had I had my show at the stand that I hosted with Francis.


It was kind of our last hurrah.


I felt it felt like it felt weird, it felt ominous. And it was just but it was like we were all together and it really was like the last big night. But Jared was on that show. I forgot to bring this up on his episode, so I'm bringing it up now. And thanks for letting me into it, because it was embarrassing. He it was on the show. And when he came in again, March 12th, we still were like, what are we doing?


Is is the thing. Do we can we not touch we? And I went to hug him and he, like, pretty much blocked me. He was like, whoa. Like he did like almost like a bob and weave, like he made jokes out of it, he made jokes out of it and like gave me an elbow.


He emoji you out of it. I feel like there is no one for whom covid is better than you and Jared like non huggers. Right. Because I. But he would do that before. But I why. You know, I never want to hug anybody. I just never know how to greet them. And I always get a little awkward with those in the middle friends.


I know this is great for you. Yeah. I hate it.


I would die for a hug so I want to do something today. We have gotten a lot of new listeners over the last few weeks from the Djamila episode, the Mikhaila episode and Dr. Miraz episode. So a lot of you are new here as we want to welcome you back. We welcome all of our new listeners and introduce our no brainer since you want to do this. And I was like, no big like one of those girls on Instagram, they get like a surge of new followers and they go, a lot of you are new here.


I'd like to reintroduce myself if you do that. No shade. I think it's very funny because you see it a lot. You see it a lot. So we want to introduce ourselves. I'm Raina. Oh, I'm I'm Irish. And my friends call me Irish. I'm from Buford, South Carolina coast co-host. Know, we said that we never we joke that we never say who we are of. You're new here. You're like, which ones?


Which I'm actually on the tall one I'm right now.


I'm the one you all say is stupid on the Internet. I have the big boobs. I'm the bitch. I love air conditioning and outdoor showers. I hate bugs.


I don't know. We're doing all this. We're doing bio's. I'm from Pittsburgh. I read Delaware. I went to school in Indiana. I went to Clemson. And we're just really happy you guys are here. Yeah. Thanks for joining us. Thank you for being here. Also a little bit about me. I don't exercise, but I have started. Yes, I started. I mean, twice I've done it. Rayna texted me that she had just ridden twelve miles on her stationary bike and I called her because I just had I feel like it was such a so it's like somebody telling you they got engaged.


You like want to call them. Are they pregnant, you know. Yeah. Except for one thing. She's pregnant. I'm like, are you sure about those. But yeah I actually don't actually like twelve things at the end of it. I ended it with, I just gotten off my bike and you called me, you know, I like talking on the phone.


Nobody likes talking on the phone more than you. It is my nightmare and you can't get enough of it. I will text you and you won't respond for hours but I'll just keep texting.


Obviously, you know, I don't stop. I'm there. There's pages getting magazines and screens getting there just on the phone. I like talking on the phone. You drink and talk on the phone. I like exclusively is like your main social activity.


I like it. So I don't see I lately I've been going out like when I stay at home, I'm like, why am I here? It's summer. Like I'm so bored. So I'll just like fire up some wine and fire up a phone call. But you talk you really have like close relationships with like you're an uncle, for example. Like I don't talk to my and uncle on the phone and get drunk for two hours like, you know, I love them.


I love that about you.


Like, you really value phone conversations.


I don't think of myself as a phone call person. Like, I don't want people that I can see on a normal basis to call me. Like, I don't want phone calls from anybody that I can take a cab to. OK, I got it. I exclusively reserved the I talked to my mom once a month for like a marathon. I talk like everyday to your dad all the time. Arlen Zoome call I. Talk to this guy last night for two hours and 12 minutes, it was a lot which guy maybe you want to call back from the Oprah episode.


Because everybody hates him based on what they heard, because all they heard was he's going to break us up. That is not what they heard. Do you think that's what they heard?


Why would they not? That's what she said. She said that we're soul mates. That's all I heard. She said he she said, Ashley, he will try to take you down. Yeah. All right. She not those exact words, but it was she said he will come for you. He alluded to it. She said he'll come for you. Feel like you're a pretty decent match for him. I mean, you don't have the dictator's good, but, you know, I do.


I'm a big dick, though. I think you put your dick on the table against him a little bit. Yeah, the guy's on the phone with him. Yeah. You were like, we need to talk about this on the show. How much you talk on the phone? I talk the Vorlon. Yeah, that's my social life. And Delane, I talked to Dylan a lot. We just bring them up on every episode. Yeah. So you have a story to tell.


It's like that. Interesting. I just wanted to, like, share it with you and get your thoughts. So I spent last week you went out of town, so I had to go out of town. Yeah. You had plans, other people. So I had to make them as well. So I went out to the lake house that I go to sometimes with my girlfriend, her sister live. So I went up there and on my way back from Deposit New York, which is sort of up by the Catskills, we had dinner and we had this Soss a dinner.


It was like in a jarred sauce and Indian jarred sauce. And they got it at Wegmans. And it's called a simmer sauce. And I never heard that before. But it's like I mean, you see ten thousand brands of tomato sauce on the shelves. There's these Indian sauces. OK, so it was a sauce that sounds like a summer banger.


It was fun that summer sauce on your wok. I feel like Samasource is a song Amigos Amigos Vibes, OK, because they do have a song about Stir-Fry here.


Are you here? A few of them feeling you know, I'm feeling this one hundred percent I feel like to be the hottest song of twenty twenty one. I busted out for the summer of twenty twenty one. We can all bust ourselves out. So I decided I had to get this. It was from Wegmans so I did a detour on the way back from deposit New York to Wegmans in New York. It took me like an extra hour or something.


Or Wegmans like hard to find. No, they're just not in Manhattan proper. You guys know Wegmans are it's the greatest grocery store of all time in the world. But it's only, I think, in New Jersey or New York. I'm not sure I the Internet don't DMAs. And so I go to Wegmans and I clean them out of this source. I buy fifteen jars of it.


What am I what flavor profile are we talking?


It's just like a tomato based sort of like, almost like a tikka masala but very spicy like you say.


No more, you know, like no I love everything you just said.


It's incredible. And by the way, like I chop up like ginger and garlic and some extra like I put some cilantro in it. So it's just like a sauce base and I add love it. It's phenomenal. And I got in the car and I have fifteen glass jars and I realized I don't know how to secure things in a car like groceries, you know, like I secure the bag. I've never learned this skill before. So like I drove back to New York with all these glass bottles just like clink clacking all over this giant SUV, just like crashing into each other, rolling around the back seat.


And I realized it because I live in Manhattan. This is like stunted my abilities because, like, I've never gone groceries and put them in a car. Really? Yeah, it's like walking dogs. Like, I just never learned the skill. Like, how did you learn how to secure groceries in a car? I don't know. Just like critical thinking skills, just in general.


I like a lot of stuff. I like couldn't wait to tell you about this because I just kept thinking, like, why is this a skill? I can see you. I can see the jars clink, clanking and you just turn the music up like here. Does the guy get here? I turn to pick you up because I was like, I mean, we're too far gone. There's nothing I can do about this. And I just realized this is like a skill I don't have.


Do they put them in a box for you? Like how when you buy a bunch of alcohol they were just in, like, buy or just in bags in the back of an SUV? Only beach towels.


OK, do you see of them with be. I probably would have just rummaged around in the car, found some like soft materials. OK, and you know what I mean. Like kind of like what do they do with babies. Car seats.


No they swaddle them baby swaddled the jars. Actually that'd be great moms. I can't even secure a glass bottle in a car like I could never share a human in a car.


I was just excited to tell you that I just realized, like, I don't have this skill, like I'm stunted. Yeah, well, you exercise now. Maybe you can figure out how to swaddle bottles now. OK, now one thing at a time. OK, I've exercised twice so I don't want to flex everybody relax. OK, don't don't do right about any sort of like fitness instructor. She needs to follow suit. Yeah. I don't want to do.


You did demonstrate with Fred Smith from our episode in June and he told me I should take his class.


OK, yes.


So Fred, who said that he was doing at home classes and also Bobby West Side, they both do independent spin classes.


I think Bobby's Instagram is Bobby ex West Side. But you can always if you have a bike at home, you can, like, take their classes, which I love. So you should try that. I'm going to and I think Fred and Bobby both are so like, great and. And yes, I hated to do it. OK, I have an update on somebody that your vagina. That's not my vagina. It's a person that we do talk about in this podcast that is late to the pandemic by about five months.


But he has arrived. OK, what does that mean, Lee Hasseltine? My dad has started baking bread. No, it's not. I mean, it's not even April anymore.


What I do that is all against it is we are so far out of the bread stage. He what we have this breadmaker when I was a kid, like they used to bake bread all the time, but then they just put it wherever, you know, in the Netherlands, he found it. He dusted it off. He's been baking bread up a storm.


OK, the bread of the pandemic was like the Tiger King part of the pandemic. You know how long ago that was crazy? What kind of bread? I like bread. You eat like sandwich bread, like regular party bread. He puts it in the bread maker. Yeah, OK. Because I like there's only like says you can make hundreds of thousands of breads, but everybody ever made taste the same out of that thing. I can't imagine hasseltine baking.


I want you around. Is that many photos. Yeah. I just see. Yeah. And he's a big man. Do we like sweet like banana breads. He's just doing like, you know, bread, bread, Bradman bread man bread. I tasted it some point I stopped by their place on the way down. I kept my distance, wore masks and I was like, don't touch me. You know, I don't wanna touch anybody anyway.


I know a pandemic is perfect for you. And then speaking of the pandemic, I have one show recommendation and it is love in the time of Corona. So this is on Hulu. It was on Freeform and Hulu snagged it immediately.


I don't know Freeform is that's like a channel now free. It's like a channel way free from used to be something the CW maybe I think. OK, that's a good call. So Hulu has this. I did a poll, my Instagram story barely any of you guys watch this. It's on Hulu actually lose all your business, handle it. Keeping Hulu alive. I think it's actually told me about this show. I mean, yesterday she mentioned it and I have no recollection of her telling me she was like, it's because it's on Hulu.


You said Hulu. And I, I wonder if this was on Netflix, what the viewership would be, because we're not going we always go down this road where we compare Hulu. Netflix is interface. And I cut it every week because it's not exciting. But anyway, it's really good. I'm going to give a warning, not a spoiler. It is only four episodes. So know that going in because I was upset Episode four ended. I'm ready to go in Episode five and Hulu started playing Fucking Pretty Little Liars.


I was like, what the fuck? You don't check ahead of time. I didn't check. I always check because I feel I don't want to get I don't want to get into that. I always wanna make sure that it's eight or in this or in the case of million dollar Hamptons house, I wanna make sure there's less. Yeah, that show was not like I said, I'll watch that on Netflix. Yeah. Then I was like, when did they film this shit?


So they started filming. It ended June. I think they, they bang this shit out.


I mean today I'm not sure where they filmed it, but it's posted it looks like it's supposed to take place in L.A. and it just is like an ensemble cast following different people in different situations. Like one girl is quarantined with her, quote unquote, gay best friend. I say that in quotes because he decides he might want to date women and she's in love with them, but then she meets the neighbor. Boy, this is scripted.


It's scripted, and there's only four episodes. There's only four episodes. So it's like it's like watching like two hour movie. It's really good. There's like an older couple in there. They're like separated. But I'm not I don't to give any spoilers. The one part I love is out there, this girl, she's like, beautiful model. She is this hot neighbor and he's showering outdoors. So I'm like automatically, like, drawn in.


He's so high. He's so your vibe. And she basically does kind of like the problem with the book. What's the book? I forget what her book was, but then he gives her a book back to read. Guess what it is sapience. Normal people, they hit the pandemic stuff hard day. Also Hulu people, of course, they're like trying to promote other Hulu shows. Like they they touch on they really touch on some of the race stuff, like when I'm Marberry was killed.


They talk about that in the show.


They make this thing. It's I mean, they started filming like end of June. Like, it's it's really good. And I do recommend it. OK, I want to also give it it's another podcast, Iraq, which of course listeners twice before you Siwei over. But I've been listening to Nice White Parents is from The New York Times. It's a it's a five part series and it talks about segregation and integration and so-called integration in the public schools in America.


And just like this idea of like we thought segregation ended and we thought there's less integration and it wasn't. And it really just opens up your eyes. And I read the reviews because I was like, what are people going to think about this? Like, you see a title like Nice White Parents and like true to form. All these people went ballistic and were like, it's not just white parents for you to look at all these other things.


People like really like bomb the reviews. And do you think the. Or they listened. I think a lot of people, yes, were triggered by the title and the implication that, like just white people are ruining the system and some people were like you to look at the full picture and it's like, well, it's a social study.


And I think it's like any no social studies are perfect. And I think there's a million different pieces of this that could be looked at. But I thought it was really well done. It was really interesting. And at the very least, it opened my eyes to, you know, when we think segregation and there's so many decades of like trying to build in good teachers, good facilities, good books for these kids, get the white kids to go to these schools.


Things like that I thought was really interesting and maybe really think about my time in high school. I don't know why I would ever come up on the show, but I went to public high school. Yes, go off big public. I saw public these public school proponent, about one third of my school was black. So I grew up thinking I went to a school that was integrated. But I've always sort of felt like, why do I feel like I never saw the black kids in my school?


I never did. I was never in the classes with them. I had lunch periods with them, but that was it. And I always thought, like, why wasn't I around them? And I always thought I had it never occurred to me that my school, like, wasn't integrated. So I didn't really think about my high school experience and how I went to school with one third of the school being black. But they still found a way in my high school to sort of segregate the black kids into certain classes and segregate the white kids into certain classes.


And if nothing else, it just made me re-evaluate the way that even I grew up and went to high school and what it was like for me versus what was like for the black kids and the facilities that they had access to and the teachers. And I know that we talked about race on this show quite a bit, and we promised you we would keep talking about it and keep learning, keep growing. So I thought that this podcast in particular was a great tool for me to at least evaluate the way that I was educated and raised.


Yeah, you told me this, and I want to listen to it as well. And I just I don't know. I feel like my I don't feel like my school was like that, but I don't know. I was in honors classes. I was literally with the same kids from fifth grade on, which were more primarily white kids. And it's like I just it's I need to I want to like, think on this and really try to think back, you know what I mean.


And like, was that purposeful? I don't I don't know. So like, you got me thinking about it too, because I grew up with like it was very mixed and I just never understood racism until college. And I mentioned that before in this podcast. So I didn't feel like I ever got even a taste of it. I had my favorite teacher was black in elementary school. But that I was thinking, did I have more black teachers after that?


That's like I want to think on a little bit more and I want to listen to the podcast for sure. And of course, courses by The New York Times, if I can crush it, still obviously listen to the daily every day. You remind me constantly of the daily. Yes. I like the idea that you just sort of like marinate and think about it. And one thing I think it's the third episode of It's Not it's the fourth where they talk about the gifted programs in schools and they assert that this is just sort of a way to, like, continually segregate kids.


And I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know. But it at least made me think about it a little more. And I was always just in classes with the white Jewish kids.


I mean, it makes you examine everything you just examine, like income and like poverty level and systemic racism with that and where kids lived. And it wasn't that anybody that was a minority had a lower IQ or wasn't as smart, but maybe they just hadn't had the resources up until that point to like excel as much as the white kids.


I mean, it's so much if anything, it just made me sort of think about my life and my upbringing in the school system. I think it's like a really important lesson. You guys can form your own opinions about it. Yeah, take a listen. All right. Well, those are your Wrex for this week. We are going to give you some more recommendations in the form of our new partners for this week. I'm going to tie you up for this first one you guys might remember two weeks ago.


I'd like to talk with you all about you finish, but you had the best dribble penetration of all time. So two weeks ago.


Right. And I talked about how she used both of these vibrators we received on herself at the same time. And one of them was a vibrator for a couple. So in my head, you use three vibrators on your at one time you really had to test the goods and we didn't say the name of the brand. And so we're finally so excited to announce them. Mobley's.


So that you're doing the ball sack. OK, guys, we are excited to announce that we're working with Dame. I have really test driven these on myself. You know, I always talk about the packaging. First of all, I love the packaging on these products. Gorgeous, stunning. Never been seen before. It really looks beautiful, right? The boxes were beautiful. You'd have no idea that it's a sex toy. They they come in these like travel safe packaging.


You can actually turn off these these two vibrators that I got, which I'll tell you guys that they are so that it's like a travel mode is they don't turn on your suitcase.


Oh yeah. I've heard of in my life, there's tons of speeds and different things you could do and, you know, you saw them together. It's great. But I'm products. It's a Women-Owned Sex Toy Company. They're making the next generation of vulva tested Evolva approved vibrators. My vulva approves of it. All of their vibrators accessories are made with medical grade silicone. There's smart design principles. They've gotten tons of glowing press. If you guys want to look it up, if you're curious, W magazine, New York Times, their products are engineers.


You can use it solo or with a couple. I used two of them. So there's lots of variety, colors, shapes, different things to play with. And they are closing the pleasure gap, helping the world one Bulba at a time. OK, so my Volvo was helped by two of these. I use the EVA two and the arc, the arc goes inside of you on a nice little hook. And Eva you just sort of like lay Parmalat.


I'm a lazy masturbator. I just lay it on my clock. Yeah. So the EVA two, it gives you clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. I have the arc too and it, I didn't put it inside of me, I just used it on my clit. So it's got like a great vibrating tip. You could stick it up there if you want. Oh yeah. I would definitely use that on the. Yeah. Or that internal and external use was trying to use both of them at the same time.


So yeah I'd want to also the either I looked at it, I was like it's so cute, illegal alien, they're so cute. And you know, I got to say about I love both of these two. I can use the evil yet, but I use the arc literally last night. It's so lightweight. Oh yes. It's completely lightweight. And the feeling of it is like really high, different the way it pulses. I am usually like just a straight vibration.


At last night I did a pulsing I was like, wow.


OK, I need to talk to you about this, I have never used a pulse before because I'm afraid it's going to, like, singe off my clit. And I'm glad that you're that you are. What's the word? Approving, approving, approving the policy endorsements. I get scared. But I also will say, like, the the silicone on the outside is is so soft and nice against your body. So I would not be scared to pulse it again.


I like the icy blue color. I also have the office bucket had bucket hats are back bitches bringing back the niños one bucket out at a time. I was coming, I worked on the beach and the damn socks. We have told you before the best way to take a nude is to put socks on and take a naked picture with your legs crossed. We did a whole tutorial and then send it to somebody and say New sock alert. I got my new socks on.


So if I can recommend anything, it is the Egberto and or the Ark and or the bucket hat and or the socks.


OK, that's my endorsement actually. Actually. Where's the march from all of our budget that is on fire for the beach. We have a discount for you guys so you could check them out. The best part, DAIM offers hassle free returns within 60 days. Your satisfaction is literally guaranteed and will give you guys a discount for fifteen percent off your first order. Go to Dem products. Dotcom Aggy. You guys can check it out. Trying to toy with yourself or with your partner.


Yeah, we always say to us on our Instagram story is not some you guys might not want to put your new, but I got to say. Yeah, unboxing video with the bucket hat on. Yes. OK, perfect. OK, and since this is right in line, this is how you're going to sleep better and just be more calm. Both of these things are like the secrets to Interpeace masturbation meditation. OK, so I have an orgasmic because I'm telling you guys about calm.


Calm is an app and it is one of the most powerful ways to improve your overall health and happiness by getting a good night's sleep. If you guys are familiar, you use the app in various ways to help you fall asleep. And also there is a meditation side of it too, which are great for me. I've mentioned it before that I'm just having trouble sleeping lately, but calm has been amazing for me. So you can just choose your soothing bedtime stories, help you fall into a deep and natural sleep.


People like Harry Styles can read you a story that turns me on it's wild. His voice. I just I truly Harry Styles when I said, I know, I know. But I was like, is this going to get me turn on Kelly Rowland, Matthew McConaughey. I listen to the Matthew McConaughey one. That was the first one I ever listen to. Yeah, I've been using them for a while. Before we partnered with them. I downloaded the app, I think, for the first time about three months ago.


Yeah. And I listen to Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, it's incredible. And it helps it helps you relieve anxiety and improve your sleep. I mean, the worst thing you can do, which we all do it most of us do is scroll social media or scroll your phone before bed. I've been trying to get my bed out. I'm trying get my phone out of the bedroom, but I'm bringing it back into the bedroom because I need to listen my call map.


And it's not just bedtime stories. There is music as well. There are these beautiful mixes by artists like Kago, Ellie Golding. There's a soothing piano mix, which I love. So I'm just like, I can't get enough of the music, too. There's rain you can listen to and there's guided meditations as well. And so it's not just asleep. You can do a meditation at any time. You can even do want to start your day.


You think they're going to ask us to record something for calm? Do you think that we can do a calm boy? I know. I'm like so I think that I'm actually trying it. Let me just keep my voice down so I sound more soothing for you guys. A little. Asmar So we are both so obsessed with this app. It has been helping us sleep so much better. And when we sleep better, we are able to charge you guys with more content.


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OK, listen, I got to tell you this. Asmar videos really turn me on. This is like a weird thing for me to listen. You talk like that. Yeah, well, that's I'm done with that voice is back. Yeah, she's back. And I'm unturn on y'all get home now. You're here if you want me to wake. I have waking nightmares all night. Talk to me like that.


Hey, stranger. I know you hate. I love her. It's a love hate. OK, before we bring Jared and Jordan on, we have an email that came through that we really wanted to reach. You guys go and chat about it before we bring them and for their hot takes. Yes. So we put out a call to you guys. We asked you to send us emails about your dating life questions. You had the Jared and Jordanna and I could just all rap together on.


And we got this email that Ashley and I just wanted to talk to you guys about ahead of time before we bring them on. I was so proud of this. This is one of my dream. You know, I've always dreamt about getting an email like this from one of you guys. So we said, please send us your your nine on one day nine.


One. Yeah. And this girl sent us an email. I sent it actually, I was this is my favorite email. She says, hi, guys. Just spent 30 minutes typing out and editing and email regarding this topic. And after reading my own email, I realized I just got to dump this motherfucker. I answered my own question, but wanted to thank you ladies for creating the best podcasting community ever. Anyway, I'm off to ruin this guy's dying ego.


Don't worry, it's warranted. Cheers. I love it. I love her. I love this email. And that is how you do it right out an email like you're writing it to us and then reread it and still feel like if the answer is not that this relationship is over, it's sometimes it's not. We got so many emails that we're really in like a gray area that people really need advice and help. But we're going to get into a bit like this is such a way of like putting it into writing because you have so much going on in your head when you're trying to assess a relationship and your emotions and everything, just to put it on paper, like you're asking for advice and then reading it back and being like, what the fuck am I doing?


I think it is a great exercise. You and I talked about doing this all the time. I make notes on my phone all the time and I'm going to bed. I usually like get high and make notes because I'm like super critical of myself. And I, I think I am also thinking about things a little more critically. But I've always thought when we get these emails from you guys, because you sent us these e-mails and they're so well-written and they're so well thought out and they're so introspective.


And I always think, you know, so many times we get these emails asking for advice. If you just said this thing to your partner, you could have a great conversation with them. Of course, some things you weren't actually emailing a therapist or talking about to somebody else. But some of these e-mails, I just think, you know, directly to your partner, you'll have an amazing conversation. You did this so eloquently to us because you felt like you were in a space that was nonjudgmental.


What you are with us, but just take that and retargeted toward your partner. Yeah, exactly. Or get yourself. Yeah. You have the outline in front of you. You just wrote it. So take it to your partner or just dump them like this girl. Olivia. Thank you, Olivia. He deserves that. I he's apologized for her. Oh I did.


I write a lot and I find it really therapeutic and it really helps me and especially when I'm like super mad and whether that's anybody, a family member or friend or relationship, I put it on paper and then I realize I'm not as mad as I think I am or I'm not thinking as clearly as I would like to be. And I find it a very, very therapeutic exercise. Yes. Because conversely, you could read that back and be like, oh, I'm crazy.


That is what I think.


You write all this shit that's been going on and then you're like, oh, damn, like that. It makes you reflect either way it can ever hurt. Oh, damn, she's nuts. Yeah. I remember last year's crazy roller coaster that I, that guy and I like broke up and he sent me an email a month later to my very nice, very well thought out and he sent me this like six page bunch of bullshit I sent him.


I wrote out three emails and oh yeah, there was a different rate on each of those emails. There was like understanding Raina. There was blind rage right now. Yeah. And then there was I literally don't give a fuck. I'm sending you a one sentence, have a nice life email and all three of those rainbows appeared in one day. You really cycled through a lot of this shit. Life comes at you fast. It came really, you know, like yesterday I was not OK.


You witnessed it today. I'm on fire. Last night I was like, I'm buying a house and I'm writing a pilot. You know, it was crazy. I had to turn it around. But like your mental state and how you're feeling can shift so quickly. I had a really bad day yesterday, which I felt like I was in a dark place. I was telling you, I was like, I'm really sorry. I feel I'm productive.


I'm feel lost. I don't know. I'm doing my life like I think we're all of those days since March and you know what happens to the best of us. But then I just was like, OK, I got to, like, clear my head, get my shit together, be productive, do something. And I just say that to say, like, you do have blind rage and it can turn to rational in an hour.


Yeah. And acceptance. Understanding. Yeah. I could get more mad. I talk to friends. I like blind rage. That's me, that's my alter ego. Ah. But we do have more dating scenarios. We are going to break down with our guests for today, so we are going to introduce them to you right now. Without further ado for an awesome episode, we have Jared Freed. He is a hilarious New York City comedian. He is the host of the Jay Train podcast.


He is the Charcuterie Chat Board, Lord and Bachelor Nation recap. We also have Jordanna Abraham. She is the co-founder of Badges Media and she recently became fiance. And together they are the hosts of the You Are podcast. Welcome to. Got you guys. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to put that as the first time I've been introduced that way. I'm going to put it on my resume. I want to I do. I love I loved every bit of that intro.


You get to be on set and I get to be bored. Lord, I want both of those titles to stick with us forever and ever. What do we we were chatting and Raina goes, I'm forgetting what's the name of Jared's? They're going to go charcuterie chat. And she just died laughing like just to get to say it out. It was such a privilege earlier today, I said actually I was like a Jordanna going to be insulted that I list all this stuff that Jerry does and then I'm like, and Jordanna is engaged.


I mean, I feel like like I maybe like should be, but I'm not at all. No, you should not. Well, especially especially you guys know this like having a podcast where you talk about dating and stuff like when Jordanna got engaged, it was like the scene at the end of like Star Wars where they're all dancing and we're all like that, like everyone felt involved because, you know, we the listeners and everyone was a part of it and knew and especially with a podcast like you guys know, like it's the most intimate way to, like, you know, listen to your inside people's heads, literally.


So, you know, I was sitting there being like, tear down my cheek. Like Jordan was engaged, like we did it, like as a holding hands. That's what my therapist and I said together. I told him, I like Shakespeare. He's like, we did it. And he's like, you graduated from the show. You guys released like an emergency episode about this, literally sprinted to zoom to talk about it. Look, Jared, I'm just upset you weren't involved.


Like, I feel like you should have been in a Bush filming. And, like, I just feel like people expect you guys to be together to live stream it and, like, just just give, like, kind of like making fun of it the whole time. I wish I wish that happened. Live tweets your basement. I tell you again, one, you look like an idiot. I'm shirtless. Screaming Yeah. Just my normal thing.


I reacting to this like it's the bachelor. Yeah. Like live screaming. So I tell people to have fun facts about you guys. So Jared, you are we've only ever had two guests on the show three times. You are one of them. This is your third time on our show. You're one of our first guest of honor. And we this is our fourth day because the first one we didn't tape. We just talked to each other.


It was we we we we fired those people. So our this isn't a blame game. This is a I remember it is so funny because I was like, man, I really felt like I nailed that. And then you guys go, OK, we didn't tape any of that. We just literally sat in a room talking and I was like, OK. And then I'm like, what were the fun thing? I said, Yeah, it's like this weird thing because we did a great episode together.


But I was like, man, I want to make sure I get in like these three things that I thought were good points, you know, like now we're like doing an act, but we felt like it was better the second time because we didn't really know how to, like, handle you the first time.


Like you come in, really. You came in so hot and we didn't know, like, your energy. And so when you came back, we were like more equipped to handle you brought your shields and your swords and you're like, I know how to fend the beast off the boardwalk. And we we reference it all the time like something someone MLSE their day. And she was like, my boyfriend broke up with me right before he knew I had to go into a meeting.


And we think about you all the time. I don't if you remember this, but like you say in that, like, women will always over drop dramatize the breakup of like when it happened in their life, like it was like he knew I had a project due in three days was my half of my half birthday.


Can you believe it? And all the women like I can't believe it. He knew what was your half half birthday. And you're like, oh, you know, the dumper is never the winner in any of those situations. So can you believe he broke up with me during Vergos season on Virgos season? He knows how much I love Virgos season. It's like he knows how much I like you said he. He knows I pledged my anthos. Yeah.


Yeah, Jarrard. I always like to support the detestable. Yeah. Like, how do you want to make the support group for the for the ones who do the dumping. Who you think are the real victims. I had to break up with you. Yeah. It's way harder than getting broken. No one ever thinks of the dumper. I'm just saying when I played Jarrad's a dumper apology with no apologies. So he's like he's like I had to bring the divorce guys.


He's like I had to you know, they had to get down to the courthouse, file the petition that takes work, download Tinder. I was thinking of the sunset. I was like, do you guys watch selling Sunset Girl? You talking? We talked about it today. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, well, on the show. And she's like, blindsided and he's like he went down and filed. I was just thinking about how you would like defend him.


Yeah. Like don't tell her she was getting divorced until like forty five minutes before rebuilders and then I'm going to not feel bad for the women closing billion dollar deals in the back of Rolls Royces for two seconds. Like I know it's debatable if any of them are actually real estate. It is one of those that show is such a fun to watch.


But there is a moment where you're like, wait. They're all brilliant. They're all million million zillionaires, like I, I forget that, and then they're like the nicest car ever. But I could we could go on I'm sure. Well, the other fact I wanted to tell you guys, the fun fact was we recorded with you guys the last time, exactly two years ago in September of twenty. Eighteen was the last time we had you on a show and we came on your show.


Wow. So funny. That's great. Has it been two years. That's crazy. Yeah. That is it feels like yesterday. It really does. Well we were talking about this, you know Jordan and I were talking about this like the the weird thing about 20, 20 is that it's the longest year and the fastest year at the same time. I don't know how this happened, but January was yesterday and six years ago at the same time from the same.


Yeah. Yeah. So accurate. It's so funny, Jerry, because you where you live looks really similar to my building and I dorm and was like, did you move in my building? And you were like, no, no, no. And I had this feeling that like you're just trying to avoid me. And one day I'm going to see you're like, No, no, I was I was Lower East, I swear. And I'm just going to, like, see you at the gym.


We're in the elevator together. Oh, I guess you were right. Sorry. I want to come over. I want to hang on the roof. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we are really excited to get into it with you guys and break down these emails. At first we're just going to thank a couple of partners and get right back into it. We got a brand new party today. I'm very excited to tell you guys about. Their name is candid.


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All right, let's get into it. Our listeners sent us all these emails and we tried to get a whole big mix of different topics. We're going to pitch you guys the email. We want your advice. We want you to tell people what to do, what you think. I feel like you guys are like you. OP is like I have an issue I need help with immediately. Like, you guys are kind of like the emergency response team and that's, you know, yeah.


We get those emails and them all respond like two months later when their problem is like we not help at all. It's like in the military pre-record. I'm sure you guys used prerecording a lot. So like by the time anyone here's our advice. It's definitely too late. But yeah, they already burned the relationship to the ground. We dug up emails for twenty eighteen just to fuck with people who needed immediate response. Listen, I'm at his front door.


I need to know should I knock or not. Three years later we also we we didn't get as many emails as I thought I would because Ashley posted on our Instagram story that she wanted emails but she wrote, what is your brevity. I said, because people will send us three emails. And so I just wrote Brevity is Key. And Rayna was like, how many people do you think Googled brevity? I mean, I was like literally doing that right now as we speak.


But I, I, I say this all the time with the the emails, like the women, the female emails and our audiences are very similar.


It's very, you know, female heavy and they are so in depth and like they make them so much more interesting. But there are some that they're like it was a Tuesday in the fall. The wind hit my face. I don't know, the leaves came down and you're like, OK, enough about the leaves. Let's start with our, like, being the like, buckle up, because this is going to be a long one. It's like going on a date and being like I just, you know, I'm going to be a total lunatic, so get ready.


But the thing is, like, you have to take the good with the bad, because my podcast used to be all male listeners and their emails were just the same. Like it was like it was like so I met this chick and I want to bang. And you're like, OK, there's got to be more to this dating thing than this, like I need to. So it's hard to find the happy medium. But I understand the it's tough.


It is. But we do get some incredible emails or so honored that our lovely listeners want to share the stuff with us. We know you guys feel the same way. So let's get into it. Just a FYI about this first one. We chose a wide array, but this one's just a lot of them felt like this. So we at least wanted to have one in here to hear what you guys say and do do the advice thing. But just to keep that in mind, so many probably 50 word just like this one.


Oh, OK.


He treats me like his wife, but panic's when I try to put rules on our situation ship I. Twenty eight have been quote unquote dating the man in question. Thirty four since September of twenty nineteen. We spend lots of time together, go on weekend trips and the sex is ridiculous. But he also consults me on career moves. Financial decisions ask me to help redecorate his condo and relies on my opinion for almost every big decision in his life. The only problem we aren't together.


Not sure if we're even dating any time I bring up the. Recession, like when I suggest we only sleep with each other due to covid concerns, he freaks out, thinks I'm trying to lock him down, he acts like we're together about recoils at the hint of commitment. He starting to open up more. But it also feels like two steps forward and one step back. I've told him I want more, but he only gives me a little bit of time.


And on his own terms, should I be patient and see where this goes or is he using me? Is this a lost cause? Does he want me as a girlfriend or his mom? I know the answer is that I need to have higher standards. Why do men think that this is OK?


Yeah, this is very tough. I Jordanna do you have any thoughts? Yeah. I mean, I think this is just a case of someone taking whatever is given to them because, like, she clearly wants something out of this. She like has vocalized it and the person is just not giving her what she wants. And avoiding a conversation is another way of saying no, it's just not saying no without having the respect to say no to someone's face.


So if I were her, I would say you keep avoiding this conversation. This is what I want. It doesn't seem like you're interested in doing that. So, like, I'm going to move on. Obviously, much easier said than done, as we've said before. Yeah.


This is like easier said than done. But I also I the one thing when I hear her email, it's a lot of like absolving herself of any responsibility. Like, I just read that last sentence, if you don't mind.


Once again, why I know that the answer is that I need to have higher standards. But why do men think that this is OK? That's the thing. Why do men think this is OK? And it's like she's she's like I mean, she's put everything in generalised terms, so she she doesn't want to feel bad. So like like I can only speak to her as the emailer, you know, like a lot of times it's like, why do men do this?


Well, I can tell you what he's doing. He gets to fuck you without responsibility. That's that's the the key to this whole thing. He gets you as a girlfriend on his terms. He gets to have you at his convenience. He doesn't want to be inconvenienced by you. So that's why he gets runs away at inconvenience. So it's interesting, though, because she writes a lot of things where it's like, I know that he it's all in him terms.


What about you? You have to be willing to, like, get up from the negotiation table. She's sitting there negotiating with him. And then every time he gives, he gives his terms, she goes, I'll give up and I'll agree. And then complaining to other people that she lost on the negotiation at a certain point, it's your fucking fault. And I don't mean to come so hard on her because I agree he's an asshole. He you know, like I'm not saying what he's doing is using you, but like, even when she says is using me, well, he doesn't see it as destructive as you.


He is dating you based on the contract negotiation terms that he has created and he's not willing to move from his side. You have to be willing to get up from the table. And I think like I now she's using time on her side. She's like, it's been since twenty nineteen. I see what she's doing coming up on. Exactly. But he doesn't see it that way. She is this girl I hook up with. There's no like it's been almost a year like that.


Jordan and I, we talked about that with a guy that like doesn't go away like well it's been the ten year saga and it's like no guy thinks of it in those terms. Yeah. I mean, I've been in that ten year saga and it's kind of like it's up. No, the no one's ever going to be like if someone's not being straightforward with you in the beginning, they're never going to really, like, tell it to you straight.


It's up to you to kind of like move or see past the bullshit and like move on, which is really difficult, obviously. But you're kind of like something you have to take into your own hands because no one's going to cut the cord at you set. And here's what he's doing. He's not.


And to make this I don't know if this helps her, but it would help me is like he's not turning you down as much as he's turning down responsibility, you know, like this whole like, oh, you know, like she wants to know who he's fucking during a pandemic. He's probably fucking nobody, you know, like, he's probably nothing. But he doesn't want to answer to who else he might be trying to fuck.


Yeah, I feel like I feel for her and I can see how these situations really spin out of control. But I also feel like this is sort of tough love time. And we didn't have a little while ago called How Can I make him commit? And we talked about this before. And it's like he's just taking whatever you're giving until you're not willing to give it anymore. You're just giving it to him. You give him all these things, you fuck him, you give him attention, you help decorate his apartment.


Yeah, I would do not take that deal. And she thinks that's going too well. That's the other thing. Like how to make him commit is kind of like I don't mean to disagree with the perspective, but like it could be changed to like, well, what's your standard? You got to own the standards. She does a lot of things in her email where she's like she's like, well, I, he thinks I want a relationship.


You want a relationship like like let's let's take a moment to look in the mirror and go, yeah, yeah. I want a relationship with this guy look. And she's doing this to not get her. She's trying to she's doing death by a thousand paper cuts. That fucking sucks. And, and instead of going, hey, I want this. And it's not I want the label, it's like she wants like three things, she wants commitment, an act of commitment and like a sleepover that doesn't have him running out the door and saying, well, I'll call you when I call you.


Like, if she broke it down to, like, the actual security, she wants a little security, but also through action, you know, like and for him, like if I were him, I'd be like, yeah, like and the reality is going to be I don't like for him.


I've been in that situation where I'm like, you're a great person. I like you so much. You offer me a lot. But I, I can't get to that next level with you. And that's hard. Yeah. And the episode titled How Can I Make Him Commit was basically like, you can't make anybody do anything. So they all the answer was like, you say what you want and you're going to walk away. Perhaps it could work out in your favor, but you can't just keep giving and giving and giving and decorating his apartment and helping him with his career and expecting one day he's going to like she's great, like it's time to settle down.


So you only you only lose weight when the pants don't fit. That's that's the reality. Like no one's no one's like I got to lose weight because of no reason you try to lose weight when you see yourself in a picture looking fat when you don't fit in your pants, when your shirts are too tight, when you're uncomfortable, she needs to own what she wants and make them feel uncomfortable. He might not feel uncomfortable. That's the scariest part is he might go.


But, you know, let me go to the next one and Snapchat that I've been talking to, you know, like I write and I feel for her. I'm just saying, like, I understand, you know, we were talking like a lot of times I'm put in the position of defending the indefensible. And I'm not trying to defend, like his actions are human and that their survival, survival of the penis, like it is like how do I make sure this penis keeps working while not having to do work to make it get keep working, you know what I mean?


How do I do as little work as possible for as much money as possible? It's the same kind of for what he's doing. Right. OK, well, she I think she knows what she needs to do. OK, the second one, I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. Early on in our relationship, we began to play Dealbreakers. If you don't know the premise of the game, you say something that could potentially break the relationship for me.


Long fingernails on guys. Anyways, I once asked if your significant other kissing their parents on the mouth was a deal breaker. And my boyfriend said, no, my mom does that with me. I'm not going to get into the shame I felt for dating someone that does this. But anyway, fast forward to six months to a year later and I meet his mom. I've long forgotten this conversation when she kisses me goodbye after meeting me for the first time on the lips.


I love it.


She's she's never I guess maybe she talked to the boyfriend because she says she's never done this with any of his other exes. So on one hand, I'm flattered. Yeah. But on the other hand, I can't be the one to tell her to stop. My boyfriend says he doesn't know how to tell her. She wouldn't understand that. It's weird. So I ask, what do you think? Help. And then she gives us a piece. We're going to touch base and do it where they now.


But she says, I'm seeing her this weekend, so I'll know if the pandemic has an impact on this. But I bet God. But I bet she still kisses me on the lips. So let's take the pandemic out of it and just discuss without that part of that one. I think the worst thing in that email is that she says that that the boyfriend said that he doesn't know how to, like, tell the mom stop because that's like the first that's the first of several offenses that he's going to say that line two.


And that's like not an acceptable line. It's like your parents are weird. It's totally fine to have weird parents. My parents, my parents are like lunatics. They're both like, totally crazy. But you have to you can date someone friends, but they have to know that it's weird and they have to, like, step in and protect you in a way from their weirdness.


You know, it's not hard to say, Mom, can you not kiss Jordanna on the mouth? She's just kind of what she's got. You know, now with covid, I feel like you have a real excuse to say, please don't kiss my partner on the mouth, Mom. Right. But I said outright.


Yeah, but where does it end, though? It's like it's like do you want to? And then it becomes like the thing about the battle of you versus the mother in law, like you've got to you've got to sort of like establish some sort of like thing where the boyfriend sticks up potentially would be out.


I've got and I have not touch I've love not touching people. The president has been so amazing for me. I might like an excuse not to hug my family even I'm just like, don't touch me. I just feel like they do have, like, the perfect excuse now, you know, like if her mom goes in for a kiss during covid, I, I love this I love this email so much. I can't tell you how much I love because I love the Jordanna said a couple of things.


Where does this end is so funny. As if I gave you over Thanksgiving and she'd be like come on come to momma and then she'd start rubbing her tit while making out with her. She's not right. You can't be the boyfriends. They're just being like, yeah, yeah. Jordahl Yeah. Probably at the kids mom likes. Hard nipples. She just wants everyone to feel good on Thanksgiving. I also love Jordanna. You nailed it like she wrote this in the email.


It is so funny when male or female, when you're into somebody, when you look for clues to know if you're in or out. And it's like her being a branch. Well, things with Jason are good. His mom French kisses me. So that's a sign we must be like, OK, you know, like I said, I'm the chosen one. So I know that we're not nothing, but we're not engaged. But I am French kiss where they.


Yeah, his mom fucks me with a dildo every single holiday, you know, like so I'm in L.A. so things are I don't know. So I'd love that. Like a person that I do think though like first of all this feels very Italian family ish. Like I actually like, like these are things that like I understand like hey mom, can you stop it? Like this is one of those things that I feel like you're involving yourself with a family.


It's like, what's wrong with her? She can't she doesn't like to she doesn't say goodbye. Like that was what it becomes like. It's a little harder. It's a little harder for him than maybe we want to give him. I don't know, because I understand the dynamic of like like especially right now with like politics being is so heated as they are. It's like and you want to say to your like a dad or mom, like, hey, like like and then they come with they're like fucking like, you know, like their American flag and their rifle and you're like can you like just tone it down.


Like what. She doesn't like us as a family know. Like I just want to introduce you to a girl I like and I and I hope to one day love and hope to one day marry, you know what I mean? So I have a little empathy. We're like, these are hard conversations to have, but like, I wouldn't blame it on her. I think that's the disservice to her. I think, like, he has to, you know, I hate the word.


I hate this phrase man up a little bit and just be like mom saying, you know, like, Mom, I, I can't watch you kiss my girlfriend, like, put it on him like. But I think when you. Yeah, I think you have to be careful of it. I just know as a as a a Jewish son, I know that like the conversation about like, hey, can you stop like kissing my girlfriend she doesn't like in the first response wouldn't be oh I'm sorry.


It would be what doesn't she like, you know, like doesn't doesn't she say good bye in her. She's too good to kiss me and it's like it becomes more than just the kiss. So I would say to him, he needs she needs to tell the boyfriend like, hey, take the bullet here, take take the the loss. And like, just say it makes you uncomfortable because I'm trying like for her when she says, like, I'm in I got the kiss like that's a part of it, you know, like her saying that like it does mean something to get the love and affection from you're like significant others family and for them to like you.


So you don't want to put a wrench in it by being like, hey, tell mom to get the fuck away when I come in. And you're like, it's like so like maybe I would say to him, which is hard for him, because I know that if I was told, like, hey, tell your mom, you know, stop hugging me, I'd be like, OK, give me like three years. And you're you like, let me prepare myself.


Like, it would be hard for me. You'll break up before you have to deal with that. Yeah, I can hear my Jewish mom being like, what do you mean why is she making a thing? Why does she have to make this to Scott? Totally. Yeah. Why does she have to make this disgusting? Is like she sexualizing my life. Yeah. Yes. Just like lines from Jewish mother scripture. I have a Jewish mother.


I felt my mom and that in that sentence. But I like my theory maybe is that it's odd that she's the only one that's ever gotten him mouth I lying. So maybe he's he's like, what's with the mom? And he's like, listen, we're going to come over. You kiss her on the mouth so I don't have to break up with her. You act fucking weird. And he's like, oh, my theory is that the mom does this to everybody.


And when she complained to her boyfriend, her boyfriend thought of something quick and he was like, you're the only one she's done this with. Like he's like said it. So she would feel special and he could, you know, either way, he's one hundred percent with Ashley because I've done that before. One time I did not with me. So my mom left my girlfriend's ear. No, I won one time I, I had deodorant in my Dobb kit in my toiletry bag and it was female Dove deodorant.


And I remember the girl I was seeing was like, oh my God, you and I have the same deodorant. And I could see her in her mind, like writing the rom com in her head, like she was writing the speech at our rehearsal dinner. And I wasn't going to say now I was all they had left of the CVS when I was on the road once. Like, I couldn't say that. And instead I was just like, yeah, that's crazy.


Like like I went with it, you know, like so I.


I kind of understand that perspective where it's like, oh, I'll make her feel special and it kind of backfired on her. OK, I think that we agree with Ashley.


OK. All right, guys. Next, the third one. I think I might just have to stay mom on this one, because I don't you know, I throw it in here because I can just hear Jared yelling about it.


Turns to turn down your podcast. People chit chat about he'll talk about this one, OK? I don't like dogs. I swear I have a heart. I'm just not an animal person at all. My boyfriend and I have brought up getting a place together, but he really wants a puppy and doesn't seem like he's going to budge. He says no dog might even be a deal breaker. I'm willing to make compromises, but I can't see the benefits of shedding vet bills, barking and training a puppy in a new place.


Is there a way for us to both be happy? Sincerely, the heartless girlfriend.




I mean I mean, like, sometimes they're worse than not wanting kids for something for some people. David? Yeah, absolutely.


Oh, I guess that's I mean, I don't want kids and people. I guess that's a fair comparison. I would imagine pretty hard for it because they're like, how could you not like animal? Listen, I have an all white people judging me for not wanting to judge a hundred percent. Judge, you might listen. My apartment is too nice to have an animal in it. I sort of understand. I don't want the smell. I don't want to shatter.


But if my man wanted a pet, I'd be like, I guess we're going to pet. All right. What do you think? I have a lot. I mean, I have a lot of deep rooted opinions, but I. Jordano, do you have any what do you think? I kind of think like, OK, unlike a child, I think a dog can be a one person thing rather than a two person thing. So I do think it's like if he wants a dog and he's willing to take all take care of it actually an entirely on his own and you're just kind of like there and you don't have any responsibility for the dog, like, fine.


I don't really think that works a ton when you have a kid. So that would be like the difference, I would say. So I wouldn't stop someone from doing something they wanted to do as long as it just like, affected me extremely minimally. Yeah. And you can do it like a dog that doesn't shed I mean you can say like, fine, you get your dog. But here some some boundaries I have for my home.


Totally. Right. There were there were things on her list that are like doable with a dog. Like her list wasn't crazy. And Jordanna, I'm with you and I here's the problem. And this is this is could be related to bigger issues. And I know this is going to sound crazy, but I blame this problem on dog people because you you I it's either I it's either you fucking hugging a dog at every corner to prove how much you love dogs or you're a dog murderer.


There's no in between of like I'm like like I've told people I'm like, yeah I like dogs and they go, oh you hate dogs. But that's a response. That's a crazy response. So it sounds like she's like she's thinks this has to be she has to like be so excited. She has to because if she's not, there's this like this is Big Brother out there, these dog people that are like, why aren't you more excited about your dog child?


And it's like, no, no, it can be midway. Like my girlfriend wants a dog. So Jess and I moved in together, mid pandemic. And she's like, I want a dog. And I'm I sound like this person. And I said to Jess, I go, OK, I'll split the cost fifty fifty, but I will do ten percent of the work like I will not. I like I'm just warning you, as long as you set it up with the.


What a realistic expectation. Expectation. Yeah. This is expectation versus reality. So but this is like a good moment for compromise where it's like, hey, I'll do I'm willing to do these things. I'm willing to do a dog with the it's important to you. So but you have to understand what's important to me.


Right? I have I know a couple and they're married and she wanted a dog so badly and he didn't care, but he it was like this. But he they like really laid it out before they got the dogs. And this is your dog, you know, should anything happen between us, you obviously get the dog. But like, this is your dog. And to the point where. Yeah, he walked in every once in a while and he liked it.


He didn't fucking kick it around. One time she was out of town and he boarded the dog because he was I went over there and I was like, where is the dog? And he was like at the border. I mean, my wife's not here. Like he was like, that's her dog. And I we settled this beforehand. The dog likes being at the boarding place. I'm too busy. I'm working. I'm running a company. I don't have time to walk this fucking dog.


That's not mine. She's out of town, the dogs at the border. And she was fine with it because she kind of knew what she signed up for. But the girl, the emailer sounds antidote. Don't you appreciate that level of honesty of your friend where he's like, yeah, close to the border. Like, I'm like I like, appreciate that as a significant other. It's like he never set you up for, like, this wild expec.


Sort of like but I I the one thing with her, like, she sounds anti dog, but also I think there's more of a chance that you like your dog than, you know, like dogs in general. It's like kids. Yeah, I like my kids. I don't like your fucking dirty gross kids, you know, like so like I think it's a good place. I think there's more of a chance of there's less of a chance of after a year she goes, I fucking can't do this.


And there's more of a chance of her going, hey, I like my dog, I like the way we trained it. I've actually come closer to him than I thought I would. I think there's it could get better for her, you know, or it could get worse. They run into a situation that we've also got emails about where the guy is just like obsessed with the dog and the dog sleeps in the bed and the dog has to be between them at all times.


And now they're not having sex because the dog's always they're like, guys get real fucking weird with their dog. Sure. I mean, more so than that's ignoring the problems in the relationship via the dog. Yeah, like sometimes the dog, like, let's have a kid to save the marriage. This happens with dogs, too, you know. Well, Jerry, do you I mean, do you think there's anything to one thing that I did that struck me as kind of weird in the email was that he was like, it might be a deal breaker if you're not interested in getting a dog.


I was kind of like, is he just saying that because you, like, kind of wants her to break up with him? I mean, I'm kind of wants this. That's like, oh, that's a strong statement. Like, if you were not interested in this, well, maybe he's letting the dog be representative of other things, like you don't want to be nurturing, you don't want to care for something. Like I maybe she should let him know that it's not representative of other things.


I still want to nurture you. I want to have kids because I'm a little bit like her. I don't necessarily want an animal, my space. It's just not for me. I love the animal and actually space. And then I get to go home. I agree. But I, I, I would be I would be upset if somebody said it was a deal breaker for me. But I love what you said. Jordanna like I think she should she should assess the relationship and in other ways like are there cracks that I'm not seeing and there's that could this be because I think people do that they pick a thing if they are, you know, people that are they're scared to break up.


And so they kind of pick a thing and hope that that's the reason they can break up. Right. Guys, do this a lot with relationships. Well, they'll take the unavoidable truth to use it to instead of breaking up, you know, like I've been hurt in the past so I could never be in a relationship again. It's like I don't know what the fuck that means. You know, like guys guys will play up the small thing. Like, I remember we got an email once about a guy saw that like a dating app showed up on the girl's phone and he was like, oh, my God, how could I be such a wench?


And it's like, you know, like it's like you just wanted it out. He wanted out. He he knew that, like, men aren't given any emotional credibility. Women think men have zero and emotional intelligence. So guys will use that to their advantage. A lot of times where they're like, oh, I'll get super emotional about this because now I can make a big deal out of it. So like I'm with Jordanna, that could be an option.


But like I think, again, the negotiation table, like she could say to him, hey, these are like six things and I don't want the responsibility of it, but I'm open to, like, seeing how this goes. And then if he's like, well, you don't want it. I need a dog that sheds and there you're like, OK, dude, yeah, that's him. It's like in on love is blind. How like Jessica just kept throwing stuff at Mark.


She's like, well what if this, what if this. So it's when I'm fifty you know. You see your mom again. Yeah. What about you really. You love your mom too much. He's like I'll stop loving her because he was like, well what about this. I love that example. OK, so here's if she just says, fine, let's get a dog that doesn't shed it doesn't bark. We'll take the vocal cords out, we'll do our thing and it'll be perfect.


And then he's like, be I need a dog that barks. And she says that she'll know he just wants to break up exactly the just for example, it's so true because it's and I've been that person where I'm like like I've dumped people before not and I dump as a harsh word because I don't not like any of these people. But I was like trying to get out of relationships before where I've been like, I just don't know where we're going to do.


And they're like, well, do anything. Love will conquer all. And you're like, figure it out. Yeah, well, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we will I will figure it out on my own. Without you. Without you. Yeah. This is where this ends. OK, we have one more for you guys. Her email says I was looking for my homework folder. OK, how old are these kids? OK, I was my homework folder.


I was looking. I was legal. Yeah, I was looking for my banki and all that. And then I found my milkie pants on the guys. OK, I was looking for my homework folder in our our computer yesterday and came across a folder of videos of me sucking my man's dick looked closer and videos of his ex's are in the same folder too. This is so fucked up. Like, why am I part of this collection, at least give me my own folder, goddammit, I thought I was going to be called on.


I mean, that's very funny. It's hilarious. Like, OK, the priority is mad about the right. Yes. I hope it gets better. I freaked out. I called my best friend and she told me to go ahead and delete it all I did. And now I'm panicking like shit should I've not deleted it. It's not mine to delete it. Is that a huge invasion of privacy? But also, if you are mad about me deleting it, that he doesn't live here in the streets, whatever attacks.


But she says but also if you were mad about me deleting it, that he doesn't live here anymore, bitch. Anyway, do I bring it up to him anyway? So her how did she go from the least confident person to the most confident? And it's like I can see that it's funny. We're like, we're going to round OK anyway.


Do I bring it up to him? I'm so hurt I feel objectified and betrayed. Jordanna what were you just saying? Because you're right. Like I just need like the mental spiral in this probably goes because, like, we're so in our heads that I can just imagine seeing this. And at first you're like outraged. And then you're like, I'm going to do my first instinct, which is silly. And then you're then you were like fighting with yourself internally of like, oh, is this an invasion of privacy?


But also who cares if it is. But then like you have like you literally can have a debate with your own self in your mind. And it's not I think a very big part of this email is, did she know or not know that she was being videotaped?


That's the number one thing that she used, that the verbiage was strange to me because she said there's all these videos of me writing him. I'm assuming she knew, like, you see somebody who seems like the bigger issue. If that and but that word she didn't want she feel objectified. If she didn't like the word objectified, I would assume comes in because she didn't say the word objectified like, oh, I don't that's the only way she could have just been trying to use a big word from her home.


Well, she didn't know then she should delete all those pictures, all those videos anyway, just because, like hiring Suhad and a lawyer, I mean, this is sue him. It sounds like she lives with him. She said, Cheryl Sue. People could sue. Yeah, you can sue anybody. I'm just saying, like, this is like there's there's two different versions of this email. There's he taped me without me knowing, which is like a runaway breakup.


Delete all those. Like, this is not a good person. Like I mean, this is just this is bad.


I'm saying like, you know, sound the alarms. And I don't mean to be overdramatic, but like the I don't know, I was being taped. And then you see other people that are taped, then you have to assume that they didn't know. And this is his thing. And this is you know, this is as this is as bad as like, you know, having, you know, porn, child porn. Like, I don't mean to like, over no.


Do it, but I don't think that that's the case because I think this this email would have had a different tone. And also it was like kind of light and silly. I just I don't feel like she didn't know what I'm saying. We have to we have to address that first just to be like her dad. So if that's the case, report to the authorities. But secondly, our computer, like this guy, had all this stuff on the shared computer, like so much of it is like is weird.


Yeah, I Jordanna what do you think I, I mean I guess I, I guess I'll answer it.


Sorry. We're going to answer it is if she knew that it all the pictures or videos that were taken of her were taken over, but she consented to that. I think if it's on your shared computer then that's not even like you did something that was violating anyone's privacy. I think you have every right to delete something off of a computer that is partially yours. That is not something that you want on that computer. And like I mean, if it is so sentimental to him that he will get mad that you delete that, that's when he's going to get mad about that, I think, than like how that's the bigger that's a bigger issue.


Deleted my private stash like like one. Right. Yeah, that's on our computer. Right. I think she can definitely delete it. It's if it's if it's their computer totally. I think you could say like I'm not comfortable owning anything with like all this stuff on it with all these women on it. That or not me and that are with you that's like kind of fucked up in its own self. And then I would bring it up to him and I'd say I'd give him a chance to perhaps explain himself.


Maybe. I think you I think she stumbled upon what he's into, like, you know, generally. And I think with sex with your partner, if if this was such a surprise that videotapes of women blowing him is like the thing that gets him going, then you have to wonder, like, how much is he opening up to you and and how much is your sex a shared experience and how much how serious this relationship could be? Like, I, I, I think like, you know, you know, sex is always a tough subject for couples, I think, because, you know, again, with.


With anybody embedded, like if you've been having sex for a little while and they've been together a while, it's like, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? What do you want to do? Missionary like? That's the conversation every time. It's like two people kind of hinting at let's do something different. And then they end up at the same place because it's just hard to talk about those things sometimes. And I think this is one of those things where it's like you fell into his thing.


Things don't just like go away. Like things don't like you either are involved in the thing or it's his thing. But like, I don't think it gets better from here without talking about it. But let me ask you guys what you think.


Do you think just say with photos and not video, do you think it's odd for somebody to just keep photos, nude photos of exes? Is that something that you can be upset about if you find it on somebody's computer? Let's say it's not just weird videos. Well, here's my question. Like, let's say you found old love letters from like someone in their apartment or like old emails that they kept in a folder. Is that like that much?


Is that different?


It's an interesting question. If it was a love letter versus a nude photo of I'm using it to jerk off versus overseas, like emotionally I remember like emotionally masturbate.


I remember like it. I feel nostalgic about, like and think back fondly on this relationship. Like, I don't I think it would be terrible. What does she think the blowjob videos were going like if she every time she's like this guy's like he whips out the iPhone, he's filming her. Where did she think they were? Did she ever have any questions? Like, if my boyfriend was always filming me sucking his dick, I would have some questions.


Sure. What are you doing with it? Yeah, I don't think I'd be surprised when I found the folder. You're making me an anniversary gift. You have a scrap of engagement video slideshow. Yeah, I yeah. I think the fact that they were in a folder that the ones with her in the old you know, Jordan and I have gotten the email before where it was like I found old pictures in the closet of him with his significant other.


And I remember we and we talked about that. And you're like, I had the opinion where I'm like, guys are just not in generally like I know on this way. And the reason I answer for a lot of guys, I'm just saying I'm at least 10 percent away from the guy you're seeing. So like, let's say within ten percent reason. I'm not like going through my old drawers and like, what, after a breakup like and I'm throwing away that and I'm throwing away this and and get rid of the poster that like I'm just like putting shit on top of shit, you know, like the next girlfriend stuff goes on the previous girlfriend stuff.


So like I think like especially if you're not serious with someone or you haven't been serious or someone, these things are out there. So like I as far as like I could. Have you ever jerked off to a picture of an ex? Have I. I've you know, I've I've I've I've. Is that enough of an answer? Is that enough of an answer? Yeah, I mean, I just I don't compare it to Live on Earth, I think.


Well, I'm saying like, yeah, I think I think most guys and I think that's almost like the male version of like I like because I masturbate to my own, like, thoughts. And I think that doesn't mean I miss them or want to be with that. I actually would probably be more comfortable if I walked in on you jerking off to your accent. If I worked, I walked in. You, like, teared up to like an old man.


If you're if you're jerking off, I'd be like, let's watch it together, you know, like, I feel like love letter. I'd be like, what's going on here? Yeah. And I think most people would prefer that almost in a way it's less it seems less like more objectified and less less like about the person or just like this was a hot person that I can conjure. Yeah, actually I, I it's it's one of those things where it's like if you see like you asked, do you have the right to be mad, you have the right to be mad about anything like I think that's OK.


I don't think like no one can tell you how to feel. So like do you have the right to be mad. Yeah. Do you have the right to communicate it with a partner and come out, come out from it. The other side as an OK couple are a better couple. Of course you do. You know, like I think presenting to your partner, like, hey, I felt uncomfortable seeing these videos. I was so uncomfortable that I deleted them off the computer.


Like I like even having them on a shared computer made me so mad that, like, I deleted them all.


And I if you're upset about that, like like I don't think it's like throwing away your baseball collectibles. Like, I don't think it's like that. Like but like I don't think she should feel bad for deleting them because it's a shared computer and she is in the folder. So like I but I understand what Jordanna said in the beginning. Like you go through this fight of like, you know, you versus yourself. Well, I think it's also a question of like, are we entitled to our own?


Like, to what extent are entitled to like our own sexual, private, like fantasies, even if you're in a relationship and like what are like to what extent can your partner, like, control that you're like? Should they be able to control that? And I don't think it's like a black and white answer. I think there is some levels of grey in terms of like, you know, like you're entitled to your own private sex life. Like people are entitled to masturbate.


Yeah, if I took it like you can't control what someone masturbates to, really if every time I took a 15 minute shower and if it was on your computer. Yeah, well, yeah, I guess that's I'm saying it's on it's why it's kind of weird that he wouldn't have it on like something private of his that he owned entirely. But yeah, I think it's a it's it's sort of a bigger question.


It's a tough line. If every time I took a 15 minute shower, my girlfriend was like, what were you doing in there? I'd be like, OK, right. I just masturbate once in my own fucking home, you know? So, like, I just hope this. Yeah. I hope this guy is not going to be like, well, you have to make all those up now. Like he's like you deleted ten blowjob videos. I'm going to need those back.


You know, you're going to have to write all of a sudden these the Girls Gone Wild producer, he's like, come on lady, come on, start puckering up. We got to make more videos. I need some for that collection. I, I hope this is an innocent email, even though it's not innocent like the fact. But I'm saying living in that reality, it, I think like people have a right to have their own fantasies, but they also there's a there's a way to do it with class and there's a way to do it without class.


And I think like going in the shower for fifteen minutes. To me, that class is classy, you know. Yeah.


Yeah. But like going in the bathroom for fifteen minutes and having the sound on loud and hearing like oh you know, like my girlfriend would be like what the fuck.


I don't. And I need my computer homework on that. Yeah exactly. All of my Teletech will be drawings are on there. Yeah. I don't know. I love that we keep Ainger that, that they have a homework folder they shared right now. I don't know, I it's funny that we ask how old they are and then we reveal how old we are with all of our references for what we would have as a child. Like you said, Milky Brown.


Yeah, right. Well, guys, thanks so much for answering these. Yeah. This was just so much fun. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see you guys in twenty twenty till you do well. You're going to be we'll be able to meet in person by then. We'll have half, we'll have like half of vaccine by then. We can only pray and hope. But I know it's a pleasure to come on. And also you're going to be on our show as well for our two year anniversary.


So you know that would be great. Yeah, well, tell people where they can find you guys, your Instagram handles, your podcast, everything, because I'm sure they'll want to seek you out.


You podcast is every Wednesday and Sunday. Wednesdays are normal episodes about an hour. And then on Sundays we do like a. Half hour, 40 minute, you know, a little bit of a shorter, just more directed episode called The Sun Special, but yeah, you are podcast. Wherever you listen to podcast, you can find us. And I'm Jared Free that Jared Freed on Instagram. And we have also an Instagram account for the podcast at you up.


And I'm Jordanna Abraham and I'm at Tradin Abraham on Instagram and you can follow us on Instagram also that. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. All right. Well, hope you guys enjoyed and you know where to find us. Girls got each podcast Dotcom. Get those tickets to the virtual live show this Wednesday if you are listening on Monday or Tuesday. Our Instagram is Girls Got to podcast. Ash has Raina Greenberg girls in her score.


Got it on Twitter and YouTube. Dotcom slash girl's got to eat and we'll see a lot of you guys this Wednesday. Have a great weekend. See you Wednesday. Enjoy the rest of your week, I.