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Modern Love

For 16 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people.Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast. Now, we are excited to announce a relaunch of the podcast at The Times, hosted by Daniel Jones, the editor and creator of Modern Love, and Miya Lee, editor of Tiny Love Stories and Modern Love projects.Each week, we’ll bring you their favorite stories from the column’s vast archive, conversations with the authors,  and a few surprises.New episodes every Wednesday.

Author Read: Un-Marry Me!

Modern Love

  • 720 views
  • 8 months ago
  • 09:35

Dave Finch reads his Modern Love essay, “On the Path to Empathy, Some Forks in the Road."To hear our conversation with Dave, listen to the episode: “Un-Marry Me!”

Un-Marry Me!

Modern Love

  • 820 views
  • 8 months ago
  • 27:05

We’re kicking off our new season this Valentine’s Day with a story from a Modern Love veteran.David Finch has written three Modern Love essays about how hard he has worked to be a good husband to his beloved wife, Kristen. As a man with autism who married a neurotypical woman, he found it especially challenging to navigate being a partner and father. To make things easier, Dave kept a running list of “best practices” to cover every situation that might come up in daily life. His method worked so well that he became a best-selling author and speaker on the topic.But almost 11 years into their marriage Kristen suddenly told him she wanted to be "unmarried." Dave felt blindsided. He didn’t know what that meant, or if he could do it. But Dave wasn’t going to lose Kristen, so he had to give it a try.Valentine’s Day Bonus: How does politics affect your love life? Hear Anna Martin discuss this tomorrow on “The Run-Up,” a weekly politics show from The New York Times. You can search for “The Run-Up” wherever you get your podcasts.

What the Silence Said

Modern Love

  • 4.4K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 21:37

When Laura and her husband divorced after two decades of marriage, their “little Colorado mountain town” could barely tell. It was quiet compared to the dramatic natural disasters that were afflicting the area — like flooding and wildfires. There were no raised voices, no feelings of fury.So why did they split? In the lead-up to their divorce, Laura had a revelation about what good love — the kind that will “survive life” — is supposed to sound like.Featured stories:“No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage," by Laura Pritchett“Silence Is Its Own Answer," by Jennifer ByrneLaura's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

‘Desire Is Never the Mistake’

Modern Love

  • 3.2K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 27:44

This holiday season, it’s OK to want more. Paula grew up in foster care, and year after year she would find herself “clobbered by desire” when the holidays rolled around. She longed for a mother and father to rescue her and “make everything better”; she wished for the hip-huggers and games she saw on TV.When she was 21, she met a man named Jeff who ruptured this annual cycle of desire. He became the inspiration for a hard-earned Christmas lesson.Featured stories:“The Holiday of My Dreams Was Just That,” by Paula McLain“A Sweet Reminder,” by Meg ChristmanPaula's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

With the Help of Strangers

Modern Love

  • 2.2K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 26:49

This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence.In 2013, Courtney Queeney published an essay about surviving domestic violence and the legal proceedings that followed. She described going to a courthouse every two weeks to renew her emergency protection order against her ex. It was during this period that she found “scattered bright spots” — things to laugh about when everything seemed unfunny. She found comfort in the woman who shared her court schedule; her lawyer, whom she revered; and the judge who made her crack up.Today, we hear about how Courtney has worked through the experience and aftermath of her abuse — and where is she now.Featured stories:“The View From the Victim Room,” by Courtney Queeney“Held by String,” by Eliza RudalevigeCourtney's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here. New York Times subscribers are invited to join the hosts of Modern Love on Dec. 15 for an evening celebrating the new “Tiny Love Stories” book. RSVP here.

A Lifetime of Good Loving

Modern Love

  • 3.8K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 25:23

When Bette met her husband, he was leaning against a wall at a party. He had, as she put it, “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. She assumed his silent “bad boy” vibe meant “dangerous love and dramatic heartbreak.”They got married, and she realized that she’d misread his quiet demeanor: “His eyes were simply beautiful, and his silence wasn’t fierce; he just didn’t have anything to say at the moment.”After 56 years together, Bette’s husband passed away on the eve of the pandemic. Bette, now alone, shares what had kept them together all these years, and what their long love means to her now.Featured stories:“Widow Walks Into Wall, Finds Hope,” Bette Ann Moskowitz“Seeing Her in Me,” Alicia GabeBette's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.

Confronting Race on the First Date

Modern Love

  • 2.5K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 27:30

Andrew and Sarah met on a dating app. Their first date was just supposed to be coffee, but it lasted nine glorious hours. They talked nonstop across four San Francisco neighborhoods. But by 2 a.m., Sarah had an admission to make. She told Andrew, who is Asian-American, that his “race might be an issue.” Andrew was shocked. The kicker? Sarah is also Asian-American. Today, we hear both sides of this story — and find out where Sarah and Andrew are now.Featured stories: “When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” Andrew Lee“Manic Pixie Real Girl,” Jerico MandyburAndrew’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

No More Secrets

Modern Love

  • 2.4K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 24:52

Sarah and Liz met on a blind date in New York City. Sarah ordered a club soda with a splash of cranberry juice. Liz ordered wine — twice.A few weeks into dating, while taking a walk together through Chelsea Market, a feeling crystallized for Liz: “I knew in the way seasons change that I would love her before this one ended.”In order to make this work, Liz knew she could no longer hide from Sarah that she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.But six weeks after they got married, Liz hit a wall. She found herself in an airport, en route to Milan, tempted by a cold escape.Featured stories:“Flying Close to Temptation," Liz Parker“What Love Feels Like," E.J. SchwartzLiz's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.

Dusty-Danger Dog

Modern Love

  • 1.9K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 33:01

Feeling election stress? Today's stories about a man and his dog may help.Timothy Braun was on a run through the Texas heat. When he stopped at a local animal shelter for a drink of water, he was taken by a dog who stared at him with pointy ears and mismatched eyes — one brown, one blue. He had no intention of adopting a dog, but “out of curiosity, or God knows what” he looked into the dog’s folder. It said that he'd been abandoned by an old woman. Her reason? “Dusty keeps following me around the house.”On today’s episode, we follow Dusty and Timothy’s relationship through two stories, seven years apart.Featured stories:“Four-Legged Reason to Keep It Together" and "She Wanted a Man With a Good Job Who Was Nice to Animals" by Timothy BraunTimothy's stories story were recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Devoted but Doomed

Modern Love

  • 2.3K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 21:44

In college, Malcolm Conner penned a rambling email intended for his crush. “You have cow eyes,” he wrote. “I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful.”What he hadn’t disclosed — to his crush or to anyone at school — was that he was transgender and had transitioned at age 15. But he knew he had to tell this “charismatic acquaintance,” for what they had was flirtatious and unstoppable; it was, as Malcolm put it, physics.As it turned out, his crush had something to share too. They dated anyway — quietly, both knowing that each day of sweetness together was drawing them closer toward the last.Featured stories:“The Physics of Forbidden Love," Malcolm Conner“Strangers on a Train," Cecilia PesaoMalcolm’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.

When Getting Old Never Happens

Modern Love

  • 2.2K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 28:01

They disagreed on a lot of things: She was a “bleeding-heart liberal”; he was a “conservative libertarian.” He “came from good Irish Catholic stock”; she called herself a “hopeful agnostic.”When the firefighter chased her down the street to ask her out, she pinned him as “a bald, white, middle-aged New York City cliché.”On their first date, no topic was off-limits. Not racism, not abortion, not substance abuse. With each date, another debate.Today’s episode is about the space they found in each other — and the unexpected aftermath of their breakup.Featured stories:“‘Old Never Happened for Him,’” Kathryn Jarvis“Firefighter Chases Woman Down Street,” Marlena BrownMarlena's story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Season Premiere: Driveway Elegies

Modern Love

  • 2.1K views
  • almost 4 years ago
  • 29:16

This episode contains strong language. On the first episode of the new Modern Love podcast, we hear from two women who examine their lives through the contents of their homes — the car in the driveway, the stained teacups, the razor and shaving cream by the sink. Though easy to ignore, these everyday objects often tell a larger story.Featured stories:“Bye Bye ‘Family’ Minivan," Kyrie Robinson“Tracking the Demise of My Marriage on Google Maps,” Maggie SmithMaggie’s story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android. You can find more information on today's episode here.

Welcome to the New Modern Love

Modern Love

  • 2K views
  • about 4 years ago
  • 03:09

Love is going to sound a little different this season. Tune into the first episode on Oct. 14, with new episodes every Wednesday.

Confronting Race, Religion and Her Heart | With Zawe Ashton

Modern Love

  • 2.6K views
  • over 4 years ago
  • 28:42

In this week’s essay, Lilian Oben writes about how essential it is to be seen in relationships — to be able to take up space, without being asked to change who we are. Her essay is read by Zawe Ashton ("Betrayal").

Why Can’t Men Say ‘I Love You’ to Each Other? | With Ncuti Gatwa

Modern Love

  • 2.8K views
  • over 4 years ago
  • 18:10

Do you tell your friends you love them? And do you say it like that, using those words? Is it easy for you to say? Is it fraught? Ricardo Jaramillo takes those questions on in this week’s essay. It’s read by Ncuti Gatwa, who stars in “Sex Education” on Netflix.

Race Wasn't An Issue To Him, Which Was An Issue To Me With Lorraine Toussaint | Encore

Modern Love

  • 2.5K views
  • over 4 years ago
  • 24:46

Lorraine Toussaint ("The Glorias") reads an essay by Kim McLarin. Then, we catch up with Kim to hear how she is doing in this moment.