Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:01]

It was all kind of like a metaphor for me, acknowledging all the different parts of myself that make me who I am and embracing my wildness. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, I'm really, really looking forward to this next conversation because it's with someone who's been pouring their heart into making music about meditation, making it an opportunity for revelation in our own lives and making it about healing.

[00:00:48]

Today, I'm talking with Jenay Icko about the sound healing and the creative intention she pours into her music. Jenay is a six time Grammy nominated R&D performer, an addition to a music career. She's a Barnes and Noble best selling author and mother. Her new album, Quilombo, is absolutely phenomenal. It's a work of art and it's truly been the album of the year of helping people this year get through their struggle, their pain and their challenges. And I'm so glad to have this conversation and share this space with her right now.

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The Jenny, thank you so much for doing this you and thank you for having me. I'm so grateful to share this facility. Thank you.

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I want to start with asking you probably something totally random, but I saw the other day you posted something on Instagram, which is where we connected and you posted adventure in your caption. And then you were like what looked like next to an unearthed tree or it was like this crazy background. Can you tell us about what that place was?

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Yes. So I was in Point Lobos, which is in Carmel, I think they call it the Central Coast, like up the California coast and. It was like a hiking trail, and literally while I was walking, I was looking at the roots and I've been like obsessed with roots lately, like actual roots of trees and my own personal roots as well. And. I saw them coming out. While we were walking on the trail and they were so smooth and shiny and strong and I was just like, wow.

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And then we just came upon this, like you say, it looked like a almost like a tree had. Gotan like. Ripped from the ground and all the roots were exposed and they were like it was like a wall of roots and so, yeah, that's what it was. And I just thought it looked really cool.

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It did. It looked amazing. I caught my eye straight away and I couldn't wait to ask you about it because it looked like an incredible experience. And I'm more fascinated now because of what you just said of your fascination with roots. Tell us about both your fascination with the roots of trees, but then tell us about your own roots as well and what formed you into who you are.

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So I don't know, the past maybe three or four years I have been studying my family history and I feel like most of us sort of just we only know what our parents and grandparents have told us. And, you know, some families, they do have more information about, you know, the family and the roots and like where everyone comes from. But my family is from all over. And I just remember hearing so many different things that when I, you know, like I said, maybe four or five years ago, I was like, I really want to figure out for myself, you know, and really study this my family history.

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And so I did the DNA thing on Ancestry.com and the results were like, what?

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Like these are, you know, like the results. Basically, I didn't know a lot of that information. So within that site, they take you to different records of the people in your family and then he just keeps going deeper and deeper and deeper.

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And so those roots, of course, got super intrigued by and I just felt more of myself and seeing pictures of, you know, these relatives that I knew nothing about, you know, even more so they pull up people that share your DNA.

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And so they'll pull, you know, first cousins, second cousin, third cousin, fourth and fifth, sixth. And you see these people and you get to message each other.

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And I don't know, it's just such a fulfilling feeling to connect with people that are your family that you didn't know about, you know, and just learn about family. And I think part of me feeling more grounded today is discovering that my roots are so deep and so widespread.

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And so now when I look at trees and I see the roots, I'm just like, oh, this is like I'm a tree.

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And yeah, I love that. Yeah. It's such a grounding feeling. Yeah. It's such a centering feeling of realizing that your roots, ancient and old and you've survived and your family's like thrived for this long and the amount it's gone through. I remember doing the test to the Ancestry.com test and I remember finding it out. I was seventy seven percent South Asian, which is what I expected. But then I saw that I was one percent Native American.

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And that for me was just I didn't realize that there was any part of me that was from anywhere else. And I agree with you when I started tracing it to its it's phenomenal to see how interconnected we all are. I don't know if you've heard about my one of my teachers, one of my Hmong teachers always talks about the redwood forest and the redwood trees. And I don't know if you've heard about their roots. So so their roots do something really interesting.

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You've just sparked this. Their roots do something really interesting. They don't grow down and far they actually grow across and wide and they intertwine with other trees. And so the other redwood trees that are like baby redwood trees, they tie up with the big redwood trees and then all the trees share their nutrients through their roots across the whole network, which I think that's amazing. Yeah, it's unbelievable. So, yeah, your fascination with roots is very it's very justified.

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There's there's there's there's a lot to learn there. But I was speaking to you earlier when we were just chatting briefly before about how you've really been bringing this spiritual energy into your music. And I've really genuinely admired and had so many amazing meditative experiences listening to your work. And I want to start with where did your spiritual journey begin? Where did that journey for you kind of ignite before you even thought about bringing it to your music?

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My spiritual journey was ignited when I was I think I was like four or five.

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McAdie Remember when Grandma passed away? Right, I was maybe like four or five, I think, didn't get to spend that much time with her, but I fell in love with her immediately.

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She this little Japanese lady, which used to let me play with her wrinkles. She. Didn't speak a lot, very quiet, very just like you to me, she was like a kitten and she passed away and I was just like, Hmm. And I remember asking my dad, my dad, who is a pediatrician.

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He always would explain things to us. In a very like. S. scientifical, is that the word scientific, I'm sorry, let me say that again, he would always explain things to us in a scientific way, so. He I'm like, well, where did she go? And. He's like, well, she went to sleep and she didn't wake back up and I'm like, OK, so and and then what about like her body? And he was like, they burned her body.

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And so in my in my mind, I'm like, they burned her body, you know?

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So I'm thinking of all these things. And at the same time, we were preparing for her funeral, which was a Buddhist funeral. And I guess that was my first. That was my first funeral for sure, but my first sort of. Spiritual, you know, um, encounter, and at the same time, my grandmother would take us to Sunday school, to a Christian church, and so I would hear about, you know, how I would hear about praying and praying to Jesus and God.

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And so I was like, so, you know, I knew the story of Jesus and now I'm learning about Buddha and I'm five.

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And my grandmother has passed away. And they said that she's burned you know, they burned her body. And but I'm like, but I don't think that she just went, you know, she's not gone. So just from that moment, I was like, almost even fascinated with death, you know, and like, OK, now it's not even necessarily trying to figure it out, but just kind of like, yeah, fascinating is the word and.

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Loss as well, just, you know. Always trying to figure out what different feelings mean, and I remember I remember it. Sorry to jump back, but I remember when she passed, I think one day after, because we our whole family would have to get together and practice like the ceremony was for the offering of the incense and everything. And one day we were all doing that. And I remember I went outside and I saw like.

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Butterflies flying around and I was like talking to the sky, like I literally remember. Being this little baby and like out loud saying like, you know, talking to God and saying, you know, you can bring my grandmother back like it's OK, I won't be scared, like if she falls from the sky, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And then I start to butterflies go by. And I was kind of like when they flew by, I looked up in the window and my cousin, my older cousin was looking at me, talking to myself.

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And so I was like, OK. But then I saw the butterflies.

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And something about that moment kind of made me feel like, OK, she's here. You know, she didn't have to, like, drop out of the sky type of thing. And just from that moment on, every.

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I don't know, I've always been. Contemplative, you know, I've always when I was little, even I'm the youngest of five or I grew up in a household of five. I mean, for older siblings. And so it was really loud.

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And most of that time I would just be like observing and just, you know, trying to figure things out or just staring at things. And just like I feel like really I was like meditating on that. And now that I think about it. But yeah.

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So it really started at that moment.

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When was it where you started to realize this connection between your spiritual interest and music? Was that always there from the beginning of when you started your music journey, or was that more when you felt a certain level of personal growth and personal confidence in what you were finding?

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When I first started my musical journey, I was 12 going on 13, and it was just fun. It was, you know, I was traveling and, you know, just meeting new people. And it was just more so fun for me. I didn't really. Start to incorporate my own personal story into my music until I was started going through my first little heartbreaks, you know, and then when I had my daughter, by that time, I had been through a few things and I was really, um, focused on.

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Putting my real story and my personal story into the music and, you know, as as you get older, you know, the more things that you go through. So obviously, having my daughter was a spiritual experience.

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So I started, you know, making songs about that and just my love for her.

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And then when my brother passed in 2012, that was like a that was probably like the most pivotal moment in my life. But I also in my, you know, music because I had so much to express and it was such a.

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You know, I don't know I don't know the word, it was like a it was it was it was soul changing, you know what I mean? It was something that really reworked my whole being and my whole perception of life and, you know, family and love and all of these things.

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And so as I started trying to figure out my emotions and how I felt about losing the closest person to me, I. Started, you know, like self medicating and trying to escape and like trying to forget about it, and then obviously I'm like really small and I'm also just really sensitive.

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And so that took a toll on me for sure, like mentally, physically, spiritually, and having a daughter and watching as she got older.

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It was you know, I recognized the responsibility of having, you know, a whole human being that I was really. Solely responsible for, you know, and so feeling physically and mentally, not all there because of what I how I had been trying to. Heal myself with these substances. I realized, OK, that's probably not the best way to get through this, and so, you know, throughout my life, I've read. Books about meditation and I've tried it and all these things, but once I got to that point where I really was like, OK, this is like a life or death situation, then I really, really got into it.

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And, you know, my music is just a reflection of me and what I'm going through at that time. And so, you know, for the past several years, that's what I've been going through, you know, trying to heal and just evolve and ascend and, you know, be my. Be the highest form of myself. Nothing has helped manage all that goes into making this podcast possible, then upgrading to next week. It has been a game changer to have the business tools for on purpose my book and all my other work in one place.

[00:16:31]

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Again, that's athletic green dot com forward slash purpose. I want to be honest with you that sitting here listening to you is is.

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It's transforming internally for me, like it's wonderful to hear you think through and hear about reflecting on pivotal moments in your life because none of them sound easy and you're going through them so young and so to hear you actually share them in this way.

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I'm hoping that everyone is listening and watching right now is feeling the same way that that they're feeling like they can reflect on their own life and find how these moments have made them stronger or made them more reflective or more meditative or more introspective, because, as you said, all of these things that are happening are just trying to help us learn something and help us find something more about ourselves. Right. And so when I hear you say that it was that moment where meditation became more real for you.

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What else do you think happened at that moment that you feel like at such a young age you've been able to develop that curiosity, but also resilience and that strength of where you are?

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I think. A very pivotal moment in my life was and I don't even remember, I think I was just in a bookstore and I like I was probably in the astrology section and right across from it was the Eastern religion. And I saw a tick now and book pieces every step. And at that point, I was probably like 17 or 18. And I think I just like I just like I just like that, you know, that title. And I read it probably in two or three days.

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And when I was younger, I used to read books like that. But at that age 17, I wasn't reading books, you know, especially in two or three days. And it was so simple, so poetic. And I applied it immediately. And I just I just felt I just felt good, you know, I felt good. I felt happy. And from there on, I would always get his new books and give them to people.

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And I think with meditation. It was the same thing when I when I felt how it made me feel, then I was like, OK, this is something that I want to exercise. I want to practice this because I can feel, you know, physically, mentally, spiritually, everything. I just feel better, you know, and. The reason why I know we were probably going to talk about him, but this is just on my mind right now, the reason why I love taking that hand shout out to Julian for teaching me how to pronounce it correctly.

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I hope I said it right. You did. He states things so simply that anyone can understand and the beautiful stories he tells to arrive to the lesson that he's teaching.

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It just makes it so much more impactful for me and. I love his meditations as well. There's so simple, you know, the red light meditation take that moment to to breathe into your belly. Things like that that have helped me. Practice more of a meditation as more of a way of living and not just like meditate every day for this amount of time, it's more like breathing through every moment.

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Difficult are not, you know, and, you know, it's something that I'm not perfect out or the best ad or even maybe even in the top, you know, percentage of people that are great at it.

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But it's something that, like I said, as I get older and things get even more real. It comes in handy for sure. Can you share with our listeners the red light meditation so that they understand it more and then they can apply to.

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OK, so taking that handset instead of viewing it like you're in traffic, you have to understand that you are the traffic. The red light meditation is every time you arrive at a red light, you come home to yourself.

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You take that red light as a bell of mindfulness to, you know, sing to yourself instead of viewing it as this red light is making me late and letting it frustrate you. It's more it's a moment to take for yourself and just breathe. Yeah, that's how I take it.

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Yeah, that's wonderful. That's I say we definitely share a love for taking on and in a special way. I think he's absolutely phenomenal. And the books that he's written and the work that he's done. And that example is a perfect synopsis of why he's so powerful, because it takes a very simple concept in something that we all deal with on a daily basis and turns it from how we usually view it to something that's so much more profound and meaningful for each and every one of us.

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And I think that's almost like what what all of us need to become is everyday we need to be able to take these very ordinary daily things and turn them into these extraordinary experiences rather than the other way around. And so, yeah, thank you for sharing that. I love that. I hope everyone's going to try that, especially in L.A. traffic.

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Yeah, I love driving to is I feel I you know, when you said that, I was like, I feel the same way. I can go on a long drive for hours and just feel completely, you know, satisfied and fulfilled and hit as many red lights as I have to.

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Yes, exactly. I love that.

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So so it seems like you've just and I loved what you said then. By the way, there's no one who's the perfect meditator. You know, we're all learning and working and figuring it out. And and what I love about meditation is that when you feel you've reached a level, there's just another level and there's just always this continuous awakening. And I want to talk about how you've put so much intention into your creative expression, because you're not just making music, you're actually creating art to help people heal.

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And and when I view your and I'm I'm I want my invite next time. I'm telling you that right now I'm putting on the record. But I was watching this video on YouTube and anyone who's listening or watching right now, you can go and check it out. It was your experience. You designed an immersive experience, wisdom L.A.. Yes. And I loved it because you had everyone like lying down and looking up and these absolutely phenomenal designs that looked like the inside of someone's mind.

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And then you were playing the sound ball and the harp and chanting and and and singing. And I was just like, wow. Like, this is a healing experience. Tell us about how how you came to create that and feel that that was how you wanted to share it.

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Yes, that was a dream come true that hopefully I can take on tour sooner than later when I was probably around the same time I started taking that hand. There is this store that my father loves. That's it's not there anymore in Santa Monica. But they have, you know, lots of samples. And it's like a spiritual, you know, New Age store. And there was a Tibetan singing bowl. I picked it up, started playing.

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It was just like, oh, my God, this is the best feeling ever.

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Literally, like I loved the feeling of my wrist going in a circle and obviously loved the sound and how it was making me feel. So I bought one and then I kept buying them and I would just, you know, play them when I was feeling away or just when I was bored, even just because I loved how they sound and how they make me feel. And so fast forward to maybe five years ago, my friend Chrissy sent me a picture of this woman with all of these really pretty crystal balls.

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And I was like, why are like, what are these? Because I've seen the big white crystal balls, but I had never seen them like, so iridescent and just like in all these colors and shapes and sizes.

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And so I looked it up and I found the company and at the same time, you know, have been working on music and. I guess even my my album before Columbia, I wanted to incorporate more acoustic instruments, you know, live drums, live flute, live, and I would collect these instruments from like different festivals and different places that I would travel because I just felt like you could feel them more than the computer sounds. And so. So I'm already incorporating those into the music and then now I find these balls and I'm just like, duh, like this is this is what I have to there's they're so easy for me to play.

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And I thought they were easy for everyone to play. But I've actually seen you, our friends try and they're like, oh.

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And I'm like, oh my God, maybe this is my instrument, you know.

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And so of course, yes, I'm going to put it in the music.

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So people would always come up to me and let me know, share stories about how my music helped them get through something or help them, you know, make a decision or just, you know, all of these things that felt so much more than just someone saying, oh, like you're a great singer or, oh, you're so pretty or whatever it would always be. You know, we were like a lot of times end up crying together because we, you know, their stories are so like touching to me.

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And they're always they'll always say, you're your music really helped me.

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And when I'm creating the music, it's really just to get through, you know, what I'm going through and helping me, you know, express myself and transform whatever the feeling is into some type of art.

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And it's a release for me.

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So I started to realize that the reason why I'm so compelled to share that is because I think the purpose, my purpose or one of my purposes is to help people deal, you know, to to and and heal. You know, Dylan, who when I discovered these Crystal Sambos and started playing them and then seeing how beautiful they were, I knew I wanted to incorporate it into my live shows. I started having these I this idea of, like a lot of people listen to other a lot of other types of music to, like, distract themselves, but that is no solution, you know, to distract yourself.

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So I'm like, if I can give people experiences like this and music like this that. You know, you maybe you do want to just put it on to forget about what you're going through or whatever, but when you're listening, there's that intention there and that real healing in there that is really going to resonate within your body and your spirit and actually help, you know, and help center your ground, you or, you know, whatever it is really that you turned on the song for.

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That's what it's going to it's going to help. And so. Yeah, I think that answers that it does, it does, it has beautifully it's yeah, I recommend everyone go and watch the video and try and imagine you're in the experience.

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When I started coming across mantra and frequency and vibration in these conversations around how healing could take place through music and through words and through language, now I can't sing to save my life. So I've always deeply prayed and wanted for incredibly talented musicians to hopefully one day use their platform to do that, because I just think that music is the most powerful thing in the world. And as you said, it's it can just be a distraction or it can truly be something that deeply touches the heart and heals the heart even more than just touching.

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And and to see you do it is just extremely hope giving for me. And and by the way, and it's different for different people. And this sounds totally random and strange, but like for me, growing up, listening to rap music was extremely healing, because for me being able to listen to someone who had a tougher experience than I did, but giving me the permission to be able to express how I felt. And so I would sit and write poetry or spoken word when I was younger.

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Again, I can't sing that. I would I would write and I would share. And I would think and I think even now when I journal or when I wrote my book or even when I do the podcast, for me, language is so powerful in words, is so powerful. And when you put that to music or you put that to sound, it's it's out of this world. And so, yeah, I felt like that was a universal experience that you were putting people into.

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There was there's also the other one that I've used of yours before, which was the the one that was for triggers. And and that's another great example of how you're creating stuff that's very specific for people. Tell us about tell us about why you created that one and where that one came from.

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So I'm working on my album, which just means I'm living life and creating music at the same time. I was going through a period of time where I felt very triggered. When I was at the peak of feeling triggered, I recorded a song called Triggered and it was a freestyle.

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And I just kind of just like let it all out. And immediately after I felt, you know, a release and I felt calm and. I was working with my Sambo's at the time as well, and I'm like, I'm going to do a mantra or a song. We call it modern mantra that can hopefully help people not reach that point of feeling enraged or chaotic or out of control, because I know for me I can create a song when I'm feeling like that.

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But, you know, other people need other outlets or a lot of the times they will turn to music. And so that was the that was the cool down of feeling triggered or the you know. Ah, for me, yeah. It was it was more like my intention was to have it be when you feel triggered, turn this on and I use it for myself to like I still do like on the plane and stuff like that. And if I just need to calm down for anything, I'm like, oh this, this actually is working because I got with my soundboard teacher Jerilyn and picked balls that were very intentional, you know, picked notes and Alkermes of the balls that were really going to aid in how it resonates within everyone that listens to it.

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So, yeah, I know it works. It's it's awesome. Like I said, I've used that. I've shared it with people. I think it's beautiful. And again, if you're listening or watching, we'll put the links to all of this that I'm recommending because I'd love for you to use it. And I'd love you to share with Jenny and I on Instagram how you're finding it, because I think these are just really powerful tools. Like we always need something.

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I, I often say to people like when you're hungry, you don't panic because, you know, if you eat that, you'll be satisfied. But when we're anxious or when we're triggered or when we're nervous or when we're stressed, we just create more panic because we haven't yet found the tool, the substance, the mindset that satiates that hunger. And so but we have to view it the same. There's there's no need to panic. It's about finding that.

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It's about finding the. Connection of of what activity or mindset can help help with the. Kind of circling back to you, talking about your roots and obviously this album being called Quilombo, which is your name, your second name, your surname, your family name, it's it's interesting that we started talking about roots.

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And you can see that in your work again of going back to tell us about the importance of using that name and why that was so symbolic for you right now.

[00:37:52]

So my father chose the name for himself. When he was in his 20s, I believe, and. Growing up, I don't remember when I learned that, but it was it was pretty early and. I don't know, it made me feel like disconnected from it and then being in school, people would not really make fun of it, but they couldn't pronounce it.

[00:38:22]

And so it was kind of just like always annoying to me. And I always would say, I can't wait to get married so I could change my last name.

[00:38:31]

And as I got older, I really started to love it and love how it sounds and love how it looks. And I started asking my dad more questions about why he chose that name. And he has lots of different breakdowns of why he chose the name, the spelling, everything.

[00:38:51]

And then doing my own research, I found out it was a word and I believe it's pronounced choo choo choo. Lembo means wild beast in that language. And I was like, Oh, that's cool. I like that. I like that. And so for me, it was all kind of like a metaphor for me, like accepting myself and really acknowledging all the different parts of myself that make me who I am and embracing my wildness. And embracing all that, I am, whether people don't understand it, whether they can't pronounce it, whether they think that I'm not really connected to that last name, because it's not, you know, because my father chose it himself.

[00:39:39]

So, yeah, that was me just embracing all that I am. And the fact that it means wild beasts. I love it because I love dragons. I was born in nineteen eighty eight, which is the year of the Dragon and just dragons are like cool obviously.

[00:39:59]

So I was like I always wanted to be in the Year of the Dragon of 1987, so I just missed the imam's. But no, I just I think it's a beautiful creature, but it can be destructive, but it's also graceful. And I'm just like, yes, I feel like I'm all of these things. And I feel like Columbo represents all of these things. And I feel like the album also represents all of these things.

[00:40:23]

It's not just me pretending to be perfect. And, you know, I'm just healing this, Hilaire, you know, it's like I'm going through these real things and I'm dealing with them and I'm practicing how to heal. And it's just, you know, all of that coming together is a challenge for me. That's a beautiful definition. I love that. Yeah, it's it's yeah. It's so interesting because I guess we live in a world of.

[00:40:53]

Chosen names as well, whether people are actors or musicians, you know, and the fact that your father chose a name, it's it is it is almost powerful to come up with our own names and our own identities because so often we don't feel connected. Right. Or we don't have a vision or a. Or a symbol for who we are, and it's almost like getting closer to that is such a powerful thing, like as we realized that. Icons and symbols and visuals are so important in our lives, whether it's as simple as an emoji or whether it's a real, you know, it's a real emblem of who we stand for and what we are like.

[00:41:33]

But we see mascots, we see that visualizing of who we are everywhere. And sometimes the only visual we don't have is of us facts.

[00:41:42]

Yeah, it's it's it's nice to hear that definition of chill.

[00:41:46]

We also came up with me and my dad, who I've gotten closer to as an adult. We came up with our own little breakdown of it. So CZI Life energy voice what comes out. L So love. Yeah, the ls for love. Um, yes. The sound of the universe. Yeah. B which comes from the foot in Egyptian hieroglyphics hieroglyphs. Fixx Yeah. Egyptian hieroglyphics. Um B which comes from the foot in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

[00:42:32]

Is the base foundation and then, oh, is everything and nothing all encompassing circle of life. Yes. Circle of life. And so that's how we broke down. She Lemba.

[00:42:50]

What do you think is a message? The universe has had for you over and over again that you've been learning. Surinder. Um, let go. Probably, yeah. Which is the same thing, but let go and I'm constantly because that's constantly in my head, but I don't think it's I think it's coming from the universe. Let go and love, love definitely has a hole in it, like or love. Just be. I think I think that I get a lot of messages from the universe.

[00:43:44]

One thing that I used to do when I was younger. That I didn't understand was probably considered now a meditation is I would. Sit in the sun because it felt good and just breathe and every time.

[00:44:03]

After maybe five minutes, I will start getting these. Very clear. In my head, they were just like one liners, you know, it would be like. Like little quotes. Yeah, and I'd be like, what? You know, it might just it didn't feel like I was thinking of them, it just felt like they were coming to me. And it's something that I still do now that I just feel like little downloads from the universe, from the sun, from just the atmosphere.

[00:44:37]

I don't know. So, yeah, when I do that and when I'm really there in that moment, breathing is just very clear messages that I usually write down. I used to tweet them at one point when I was younger and then I. Felt like. I couldn't give it away as soon as I got it, I had to, like, process the process and meditate on it and and really understand what does that mean? And so now I do that a lot more.

[00:45:12]

I still write them down for myself.

[00:45:13]

But, yeah, I love that when I'm when I'm hearing you speak today, like, I feel like and obviously this is taken work, but you feel very in touch with your intuition and your inner voice. Tell us about that journey, because I think a lot of people who listen sometimes struggle with like why don't know whether this is really my intuition or whether it's my ego or whether it's my inner voice or actually is it just my mind? That's just how.

[00:45:40]

Yeah. Tell us a bit about how you clarify the difference between the two for yourself and how you've become closer to your intuition.

[00:45:47]

Yeah, I think that is more of a recent development within myself.

[00:45:53]

Um, I think naturally when I was younger. Like, you know, in like grade school, it was my intuition and I knew it, but as I got older and more jaded by life, I the voices grew and it was they multiplied. And I just felt like, oh, my God, I'm crazy, you know? And then in the line of work that I do, I just starting to get started to get a lot of anxiety about things and just really doubt myself and I feel like people close to me recognize it.

[00:46:34]

And my friend Felicia, who, um, she's amazing.

[00:46:42]

She actually has well, my friend, I always go on like a go, my friend.

[00:46:51]

Felicia, we were a podcast of you could you could go as very tangents as you like. We're not. Yeah.

[00:46:57]

Yeah. OK, so we me and my two friends, Ari and Felicia, we decided to go on a trip to the Esslin Institute.

[00:47:06]

Have you heard of that? I have. I haven't been there.

[00:47:08]

It's amazing. A little retreat. And she got me this book called I Think This I think I remember the name of the book, Silencing Your Inner Critic, because she was doing my makeup at the time.

[00:47:25]

And, you know, it would always she would see me so stressed before shows or after shows. And I would be like, how was it like? Oh, I felt like, you know, I would just be like, so frustrated.

[00:47:34]

And she she we never talked about it. She just like gave me that books on my OK, you see that I'm dealing with something right now.

[00:47:44]

And really that book has so many great points and really helped me realize that I'm not. These voices, I'm the observer of these I'm I'm listening, I'm not the I'm not them, you know. And so from that point on, I'm reading that book, I started listening to my thoughts differently and saying, OK, hi, OK, that's fine, but. You know, you don't decide, you know who I am or how I feel and.

[00:48:19]

Reading more books that are, you know, just started yours, you're familiar with Doctor Joe Dispenza? Yes, he's been on the podcast. Oh, amazing, amazing. Becoming supernatural. The seven spiritual laws of success. Just practicing because I was once again realizing that.

[00:48:47]

The habit of listening to these voices in my head and letting them control how I feel about myself and how I move daily, I was mindful enough to see that it was not the best, you know, it wasn't the best practice. So now I just practice, you know, the right things. Now I practice doing things that I feel like are best for me and my development as a person. More audiobooks in the car opposed to music or no music.

[00:49:29]

So, yes, I once I drive, which there's never really silence. Also, I realize there's always something.

[00:49:40]

We usually end every episode with something called the final five. This is a fast five round, which means every answer is either one word or one sentence maximum, one word or one sentence. Correct. OK, you ready? Yes. Can I go? This is your first five. The first question is what has helped your mental health this year? Sleep. Second question, how do you personally refuel after pouring your heart into an album, sleep, sleep?

[00:50:18]

Forget that question. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months through difficult situations?

[00:50:28]

When my energy fields are tangled up inside of me is rather than try to get through it with that anxious energy to slow down and to breathe through those moments. Question number four, what's something that you are confident about that others may disagree with you on?

[00:50:55]

There is nothing cuter, nothing more precious. Or magnificent as a cat. I always wanted a little cuddle, like always, so get a cat. Yeah. OK, yeah. All right, fifth and final question, if you could create one law.

[00:51:20]

The whole world had to follow, what would it be? Share your food, share, share your home, share your ideas, share everything, and it'll be always in exchange and no one would go without.

[00:51:36]

It's a beautiful lunch, a very unique. We've never had anyone say that.

[00:51:39]

That's awesome, everyone. Today I go to Lambeau, the album. Please, please, please go and check out all the links that we're going to put into the bio here. Jenny, thank you so much for doing this. This is so beautiful, so special. I hope it's the start of a lifelong friendship I look forward to. And I'm so deeply grateful to have had you on the show. Everyone has been listening or watching back at home or whether you're in the gym or whether you're walking or you're walking your cat or your dog.

[00:52:09]

Please, please, please tag Mingenew on Instagram and share what resonated with you, what connected with you? What is it that she mentioned that you're going to practice or try out in your life? We'd love to hear. We'd love to see that. And again, I'll see you next week on On Purpose. Thank you again. Thank you. Thank you. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions, our executive producer from Duss lt is Moesha Usif.

[00:52:43]

Our senior producer is Julianna Bradley. Our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo. Valentino Rivera is our engineer. Our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the dust like development and operations coordinator.