On today's show, if I'm doing my job right, you should all be asleep at the end because the geek minute is back and we are talking about all things sleep nerdy and everything. We're also going to talk to an awesome guy whose nephew is getting out of jail and he wants to know how he can support him. We're going to talk to the mom of two young kids who got a DUI and thinks she's a failure. Stay tuned.

What is up, this is a Dr. John Allen show. I'm John, just like my mom and Amy, and I hope you are doing good. Hope you're being kind to one another. Hope you you've met your neighbors are playing tennis. I don't play tennis. This kind of weird hope. You're just out in the yard kicking a soccer ball around or doing whatever it is people do these days with their neighbors. And I hope that you are being wonderful with one another.

So on today's show, we've got a lot going on. If you're new to us, welcome. Normally I am way more on top of things when I start the show. And by way, on top of it, I'm not. But we talk about mental health, talk about relations. We've got all this stuff on this show. We got a packed show today. So I want to go ahead and get to the calls. If you've got challenges in your life, relationship issues, mental health challenges, you just want to know how you could support folks questions about parenting, marriages, education, whatever it is.

Give me a shot at one eight four four six nine three thirty two ninety one. That's one eight four four six nine three thirty two ninety one. Or go to John Delaney Dotcom Show and we will get you on the show and we will talk to you. We're getting calls, emails from all over Earth. Right. So it's it's an exciting time to be in the podcasting, is it. It's not about 11 million podcasts. This is but one.

We are almost cracked the top million, though. James, your great production help.

We are almost cracking the top one million. You're welcome. That's the kind of coaching I get, guys. I get the. You're welcome. All right. So let's go straight to the call to the phones today. We've got a lot going on. Let's go to Collin in Fairbanks, Alaska. Collin, what's going on?

Oh, man. Just how are you, my friend?

Same, same, same. How's the world treating you do it. It has been a crazy year. Lots going on. But for the most part, man, it has been incredible. Very cool.

Very cool. So, brother, what's going on? How going to help? Well, I've got a situation. I've got a I want a small service-based carpet cleaning business. I'm an owner operator. Started about three and a half years ago. Very cool. That's a whole other story. I got fired from a job and I was tired of getting fired. So I started my own business and it's been amazing.

So, hey, so could you fire yourself? Are you have you turned into a pretty good employee? You know, for the reason I got fired was I was it was lack of performance in a sales job. Yeah. And I said, you know, in this environment, it just wasn't it wasn't the right fit for me. So I said, man, I need to start my own business. So I did it. And it's been it's been incredible.

Well, good for you, man. All right. So you got a carpet cleaning business. Management has always been restructuring in your life. That's my good will hunting reference. And but now you've got your own place and you're crushing it. So what's up? Yep.

So I've got a nephew. This is this is this is going to be emotional concern I have because I listen to a lot of business books and tactical stuff like that and do this do that because a budget hears this. Anyway, I've got a nephew, 21 years old. He's coming out of prison over the last three years. I would love to help him out in some way to bring him on and and work in the business with me and kind of be a mentor, if I if you will, his sister or my sister.

His mom and I are super close like we're and so she is just concerned for him. And and and I want to know, like. What's the best way I can help him, but also not jeopardize the integrity of what I've built, what we've what we've built as a team and a culture here with with my business? Because coming from a background of of theft and burglary, I'm hoping that he has had a come to Jesus moment. But we're in people's homes and people's businesses.

They trust us with door codes and keys and and all kinds of stuff that we've built a reputation for. How do I help him but not jeopardize what we've what we've built here?

Sounds like you don't want to hire him, but you think it would help him. That's exactly OK. So hiring him would cause you to treat him with a little more scrutiny, with a little closer eye, with probably a little less of a leash, then you do your other employees or with yourself, which then would cause that relationship to strain further and a partridge in a pear tree. Is that fair? Yeah. So there's really two ways you can do it.

Number one, you when he gets out, you could say you could sit him down and say, I'm going to take the risk of a lifetime because I'm going to gamble my entire thing on you because and you tell him what you just told me.

A hundred percent of my job is based on trust. Sure. There's a million different carpet cleaners.

And I don't I don't know if you guys are just if there's like a Michael Jordan of carpet cleaning, you may be right. My guess is that at the end of the day, the tools or the tools and the chemicals or the chemicals, it comes down to do a show up on time. Do I leave this place? I do good work, obviously, but am I a pleasure to do business with in my fair and honest right. All those things you've built up over the last three years, right?

Absolutely. So sitting down and saying you can take all of this from me with one stupid move and I'm going to go all in on you and trust you and he can say, I'm going to rise to the challenge.

I learned my lesson. This will never happen. I'm a I'm a changed person. So I'll tell you this. I was a little punk thief when I was a kid, OK?

A punk thief, OK? And I had some things happen in my life. I never went to jail. I never stole on a big scale. Nothing like that right now is always taking kids baseball card.

Oh, just a punk band and. Dude, there are a few things that get me more fired up on Earth than a thief now than someone who steals.

Oh, absolutely. OK, so I'm telling you that to tell you I have had a change of heart, a massive one, and now I do whatever I can to make sure that that level of integrity is whole in my life.

Right. Comically so to the point that my friends and family like, dude, it's just 14 cents. You don't have to take it back to the store.

We're all getting back in the car. Right. So I want to tell you, change does happen, right? People do grow. I wouldn't do this job if it wasn't for that. The other side of that is, is day two out of jail. The day to start that? I don't know. You know him, right. The other thing you can do besides sitting him down to be in that honest with him and then going all in on him, which I don't know is the wrong move I get from you.

You don't think that's the right one, but you can do that or you can sit him down and tell him you've got six months, you've got one calendar year. I want you to go work your butt off. I want you to show us. Right. Not punitively. I want you to show us who you've become.

Yeah. And then I'll be ready when you're ready. Or you can take him to lunch or to breakfast once a week and mentor him that way. Hey, how things going?

How are you? Are you does that make sense?

You can pour into him in other ways instead of just you've been fired a lot, right?

You've had your ups and downs in your life. You can talk to him about getting knocked down and getting back up. Right. You've got a lot to offer besides just a job. Here's my interesting question. What's your sister want you to do what she's saying. You know, she was she was very apprehensive, she said, hey, she goes, she started the conversation. You can say no to this, but essentially, can you is there any way you can help?

There you go. And I said and I said, and and she's not she's not looking for a handout. She she won't like she actually called the police and put him in jail before. Wow. OK, so so we're coming from we're coming from a place where we're not we're not afraid to beat him up. Yeah. But in a good way. Like, look, if you mess up like don't don't put me don't put our lives in jeopardy by your silly decisions.

You're not you're not afraid to hold him accountable, which is awesome. He's blessed to have you. That's cool. So what do you think the right move is?

You know, the suggestion you made was one of the exact suggestions I told my sister. I said, look, I said I love him. Like, I enjoy spending time with him as a young man. But that was three years ago. Sure. And so he literally is not even out of out of prison yet, but it's supposed to be the next to the next week or so. But anyway, with that being said, I told her, I said, look, I said he's got to show before.

Unless he's directly next to me, like in my eyesight, I will never send him on a job by himself for at least a calendar year. And if he messes up one time like I've got, I've I've got to let him go. Yeah. And so or or like you were saying, like, you've got to prove himself somewhere else where he's not he's somewhere else for a full calendar year before I even bring him on and take him into people's homes.

How old is he. He's twenty one. Twenty one. So he's he's a man in the eyes of the law. He's a grown man. He's still a kid. Right. And if he's been in jail for three of the last years, he's still a child. Right. He had to grow up and our stuff. Right.

I would recommend having this conversation with his mom in the room.

And, you know, it would be really great for everybody is for you to call out how uncomfortable this is for everybody to be sure to let him know, hey, your decisions have potentially put a wedge between me and one of the women I love the most in the world, which is my sister, because I want to help you and she's desperate for you to get some help. But now, because of your decisions, we love you. But now I'm in a weird spot because my business is all based on trust.

And so I'm going to lay out the boundaries here one calendar year or six calendar months or whatever it is.

I'm sure you meet with me every other week for a year. You make a budget with me. Let me know that you are making good, solid decisions. You don't miss work at your new job, do you're?

Going to come on in here. You are going to take over the world with our carpet cleaning business. Right. But I'm going to invest in you. But I'm not just going to hand it out to you as you walk out, because this is about trust and that's what you got to bring back, right it, man.

I think by just laying it all out there that keeps you and your sister from getting cross with one another because he's going to get out, is going to be hard for him to find a job. That's the reality. And then she's going to start getting more frustrated with you and more frustrated with you. Right. And this is just a way to clear that deck right away.

I everybody in the room, everybody knows my plan is I'm going to stick to this plan and then he's cool. You're cool. And he may say, dude, I want to work carpet clean. And you say, half brother, we're still going I'm still going to have breakfast with you, whatever. Right.

Yeah, but you're able to hold your head up high. I put some boundaries in there, let him know he's loved and he's connected and and a partridge in a pear tree. And my hope is two years from now, you guys have the most dominator. Carpet cleaning business on planet Earth, just U2 rocking and rolling, right, that would be ideal. I love your heart and I love not only your heart, but your rational thinking. How do I best love him?

Not how do I best just make everybody feel good really quick and then potentially lose my business or lose my sister, lose my nephew in the process. Right. Good for you. Good for you. Let me know how this goes. Is you'll have that conversation as you move on down the road. I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for him. That's awesome. All right. Let's go to Rosie in Henderson, Nevada. Rosie, what's going on?

Hey, how are you? So good. How are you? Peachy.

That is the that is the Dr. John Delonas show. First pièce. That's incredible. Yeah. We're we don't have a lot of fruit references on the show. We've got to get more of those. James has been telling me in my notes, we've got to get more fruit references. And here comes a Rosie dropping in on us. So thank you so much. So what's going on? How can I help?

Oh, pretty much. I, I just need to know how I can. I got a DUI and I'm a mom, so it's really weighing on me. It's just really. I just can't seem to like I feel like I'm stained or something pretty much like, OK, so how old how old are your kids? Oh, there are nine months into years, nine months in two years, OK? And then tell me about this DUI, what was going on.

So I was at a bridal shower, my friend's bridal shower, and apparently had too much wine. And I mean, I felt like I was fine, I was like drinking water and trying to be responsible. But hey, hold on real quick. Let's back up. So I want to we're going to as part of this, we're going to start changing the narrative and because it's going to change the narrative in your soul. OK, so instead of saying apparently and evidently say I went to a bridal shower and I drank too much, the cool did it and I thought I felt fine, but I wasn't that cool.

I want you to take ownership language, OK? Yes. All right.

So tell me again, you had a bridal shower shower and then what? So I drank too much at the bridal shower, I thought I could drive home. I ended up falling asleep at a red light and either someone call it into the cup. So they pretty much one cop parked in front of me, one cop parked behind me to wake me up that way. I didn't like driving to the intersection and. I mean, from there, I had my I got taken to jail and had got arrested.

You so you said you feel. I'm smiling here, not at you, but with you. You didn't doze off.

You, like, crashed. Yeah. Yeah.

So were you. Did you fall asleep because your you had seven drinks or did you fall asleep because you had just enough and you're a mom of two little bitty kids.

I definitely do not get a lot of sleep with the baby. Right though. And it wasn't like super late at night or anything. I guess that was like, hey, here's a chance to catch up on some sleep.

But I was thinking we're going to catch up right here at Fourth and Mockingbird Lane. Right. That sounds good. Wow.

So you went to sleep to sleep for over the limit, were you?

I think they took my blood. So it wasn't they didn't like breathalyzer or anything, so I'm not sure. But I had to be held for at least 12 hours.

OK, and go home. Are you married?

Yes. How was that phone call? The cops called him, OK? I mean, I didn't really get to talk to him until I got out, but so the listeners, a picture of that drive home. Your husband comes to get you out of jail and you come out. Oh, no, I ended up getting a lift home. So he made you get a ride home or he was home with the kids like five a.m., so.

Oh, boy. And it was yeah. I just luckily, my father was still alive. I kind of wanted to take the driver's shame by myself anyway.

All right. That's fair.

That day that would have made a Christmas story 20 years from now, like, hey, I'll remember the time we went pick your mom up from jail so you get a lift home and you come in.

Yeah, he's just home road home on the couch with the baby, but it was just kind of we're just trying to be quiet. Wasn't much of a conversation because of the kids. Yeah, but I mean, later on. Obviously, he was upset, but he uses also like not understanding, but calm, cool and collected.

Sure. So here's the thing. You don't have a stain on your. Answer answer these questions, these not rhetorical. Did you do something dumb? Yeah, yeah, did you put a whole bunch of people at risk? Yeah, you did OK. Was it stupid? Absolutely. Yeah, well, that ever happened again. No. OK. So you got super, super, super lucky you didn't hurt anybody, you got super, super lucky that your two little babies still have a mom.

And you got super, super lucky that somebody called it in and that someone didn't smash you from behind because you were asleep at a stoplight, right.

So cosmically, you got lucky and you got a husband that loves you and was able to be there for your kids and roll his eyes and say, oh, my gosh, how expensive is this going to be?

All the lawyers right now, just the base pay is like two thousand. Yeah, it'll probably be about ten grand by the time you get down that that was the last number I heard. So it's going to be real, real expensive. If you're like me, you don't have ten grand laying around.

So this is going to hurt, right? Mm hmm.

So. If you choose to carry this around like I'm a loser and I'm an idiot and I've got a stain on me, then this is going to affect your kids. This is going to affect your husband, is going to affect your friendships and relationships if you can.

Stand up tall, hold your head up, not use words, not use adverbs, not use Elvi words, apparently, evidently if you say I screwed up big time and I got busted and then I went to jail and then I paid my ten thousand dollars in lawyers fees and court costs, et cetera.

And I will never, ever do that again. And it is what it is, and at some point, your 10 year old is going to come bouncing into the room. Mom, did you ever go to jail and you'll have to go have a seat.

I mean, that will be part of it. But you're not going to shy away from it. You're not going to lie. You're not going to be weird about it. You're going to say, yeah, your mom made a bad, dumb decision. And this is why, as you notice, this is why, like, I do these things right. This is why I never drink alcohol at her friend's house. This is why I don't drive anywhere.

I always get an Uber, whatever, whatever, whatever behavioral decision you're going to change and then you're going to hold your head high and make sure this never happens again, right?

Yes. You know, I just yeah, and anything beyond that, Rosie, is a choice. Is you choosing to hang on to this longer than necessary, beating yourself up further doesn't help anything. It doesn't make it not happen, it doesn't make it. It doesn't make other people feel bad for you. It just makes everything much right. And it's not forgetting it. It's not undermining it. It's not saying it wasn't a big deal was a huge deal.

You got real lucky. And now we're going to move on. So why why is that hard? Why don't why don't you want to choose to do that? I just see I just get these, like when I'm home and I just see the kids playing together or something new, the baby did, I just feel I get these flashbacks of the jail and. Yep. This these guilty pangs of like, I couldn't be here right now, whether breathing or just in the jail cells were like multiple other reasons.

And so it's just continuous, like, oh, what a happy moment.

And then, you know, the guilt, the flashback.

There you go. OK, so you're ready. You've probably heard me do this on this show, but we're going to do it again anyway. I might do a thousand more times before I finally get canceled. You ready? Yeah. Close your eyes real quick. OK, are they close? Mm hmm. I want you to picture in your head a giant, I don't know, a green donkey, OK, sitting in your front yard, sitting down, not standing, sitting in a weird stance.

Got it.

Like that donkey is sitting there and I want you to have a yellow hat on his head.

Cool. OK, you got it in your head. All right. Open your eyes. You just prove to the everyone listening to this show you can control your thoughts. So when you're sitting down playing with your little baby, right, your two month old, your nine month or two year old and your nine month old, and that thought of that freezing cold, concrete little chair bed thing. Right.

I want you to go. Nope.

And then choose in that moment to focus on your two year old.

Come up with some sort of trigger, which is every time you think of jail, you reach out and grab her hand, you reach out and grab his his little head in your hand and you tickle it, come up with some sort of and what you're doing is you are choosing in short order.

I'm not going to dwell on these things because we are done with them.

Right. Yes, anything other than that is a choice. And what will happen over time, really in short order is they will stop flashing into your mind, you'll stop walking around like a failed mother, OK?

You will hopefully never forget that you endangered a whole bunch of people, including yourself, that you almost you did something dumb enough that could have left your husband on his own with two little kids, OK? Don't you ever forget that. But the guilt and the and the participation and I'm no good. I'm a loser.

We're done with that, OK? Because it will only drag down everyone around you. It'll only drag you down. OK, you learned. You're going to live and move on, OK, and then you're going to work to control your thoughts as they pop into your head. OK, thank you so much for that call. I know that's hard, Rosie. I'm still dealing with crap. I said when I was 14. All right. I see my kid.

I'm like, man, you're kind of dad. The dad says, and I go, nope, not doing that, man, because I was 14, I was a child. And yet I shouldn't have said that. But I did. And now I'm moving on because I don't see that anymore. Right. Whatever the behavior happens to be.

All right. So we're going to kind of slip off into a geek segment here. What do we call the geek minute is that we call it. It's a teaching segment. Geek Minute. I get a bunch of emails about sleep, right? I get a bunch of e-mails about sleep. Here's an example Kelly pulled for me from Mason. I've noticed when it comes to anxiety, you talk very highly of the importance of sleep. Can you talk about how much sleep we should be getting, what not to do before bed, when it's too late or too early to work out, etc.

? I've been dealing with lots of anxiety and keeping my sleep on track is nearly impossible to me. All right. So I am a huge fan of sleep researcher out of Berkeley, California, University of Berkeley, Dr. Matthew Walker. He's got a remarkable book called Why We Sleep. He was on a podcast with Dr. Peter Atti. It's called The Drive Podcast. After this one, go to Dr. Peter TIAs Drive podcast.

It's a three part series on sleep and they go off the deep end, six hours on sleep. You're talking about the neurochemistry of the biochemist, all of it. Right? If you want a deep, deep, deep dive, it's the best interview. It's the best discussion on sleep I've ever I've ever heard. It's for nerds. It really is. But it's also high level, too. But it'll be in the show notes. Yeah. Here's the thing.

I'm going to walk through several things about sleep that are revolutionary, that are mind blowing and that are really important. Dr. Walker says that sleep is the greatest legal performance enhancing drug that most people are probably neglecting. Now, as I get into these things, I always want you to remember follow the money, right? So you're going to ask yourself, why did I not know that sleep prevents all of these things we're going to run through here because it's free and it's something every one of us can do every night of our lives for free.

And it can solve a lot of challenges in our life.

But nobody can charge you for sleep, so you don't hear about it very often. So for years, insomnia has been labeled a symptom of depression or anxiety. Right. And that means that if you had anxiety or depression, when things don't ask you is are you struggling with sleep? And you say, yeah, and they go, yeah, you got anxiety.

Turns out it's the other way around. A lack of sleep causes many of these mental health conditions, root cause, causal, not as is related to helps cause some of these things like depression, anxiety and paranoia. Right. Walker says without sleep, our brain reverts to a primitive pattern of uncontrolled reactivity. We produce unmetered, inappropriate, emotional, emotional reactions and are unable to place events into a broader context or a considered context. What does that mean?

How many of you have not slept for twenty four hours? You pull an all nighter and then you just start laughing and you can't help it.

You just start laughing, laughing, laughing, or you're in your car on your way to that exam and a song comes on the radio and you start crying, right? Or it's it's week two after 15 hour work day. I work day. You're just crushing a project and you're watching the show and you start bawling.

Right. Or your husband walks in and says, hey, I'm going to I'm not going to do the dishes. Let's go out to eat.

And you just lash. I can't pull it right. You just launch into him, right. Our amygdala gets heightened, heightened, heightened, heightened, heightened with less sleep, less sleeplessly, one study found that people deprived of sleep for four hours per night for two weeks suffered a 50 percent reduced ability to dispose of glucose in the muscle tissue. What does that mean? That means that a lack of sleep can increase your risk of diabetes and insulin resistance and weight gain.

A lack of sleep can increase your risk of Alzheimer's disease, reduce the activity of your immune system. It's easier to get sick, impairs learning and memory. I was the king of all nighters. Turns out I was an idiot. Right? Increases your risk for cardiovascular disease, increases your risk for cancer, contributes to root cause, depression and anxiety. Now, most important type of sleep, the one that calms and resets the anxious brain is non rapid eye movement in REM sleep.

It's a slow wave strip, right? You can reduce anxiety in a single night with deep, deep sleep.

People with anxiety disorders routinely report having disturbed sleep but rarely sleep improvement considered as a clinical recommendation for long anxiety. Not only or is there a causal connection, but it's the type of sleep, right? So here's the thing. Over the last hundred years. Last two hundred years, what happens, we get oil lamps, so usually we just go to bed when the sun went down, we get oil lamps, we get light bulbs, we get TV, radio, we get TV.

Now we all have devices. There is street lights everywhere. There's house lights everywhere.

So overnight, bam, 15, 20, 25, 30 percent of the natural sleep cycle has just been lopped off.

Right. And these things are critical to brain function. I love this. Dr. Walker says that the brain acts like a plumbing system that discards toxins from the body, but it does this during sleep. OK, and here's another thing. Ambien, Lunesta, these are not like those over-the-counter sleep meds, they're called hypnotics. They they produce, for lack of better terms, they produce unconsciousness, they don't produce sleep.

So I heard it put this way. These are pharmaceutical baseball bats to the head. I can make you unconscious for eight hours. That is different than sleeping for eight hours. I know this because I took those medicines for years. I used to train and mixed martial arts.

Our practices would go from eight to 10, eight to 10, 30 at night.

I'd get home all amped up and I couldn't sleep well. I had one of those pills and I'd go right out into a black hole. Turns out over years my brain wasn't getting to sleep. It needed surprise, surprise. Deloney ends up crawling on his back yard with mine, crippling anxiety, right. With numbing depression. I wasn't sleeping, wasn't sleeping, wasn't sleeping.

So here's a couple of things you can do, too. As Walker says, bridge, the best bridge between despair and hope is a good night of sleep. So here you go.

Number one, you can make fun of this. All you want is not what you were told as a kid. I don't care. Try it for two months. Sixty days, get like a calendar and mark them off. Try it. Just try it. Number one, go to bed and wake up at the same time every night, even after a bad night's sleep and even on Saturday and Sunday, some of us get up at five o'clock, five o'clock, five o'clock, five o'clock.

On Sunday we sleep until eight. You screw it all up. Some of us go to bed at eight at nine o'clock, nine o'clock, nine o'clock midnight, go to bed the best you can at the same time every day and get up at the same time. Even on the weekend, after thirty days, you're going to be stunned because your body will begin to reset itself.

Keep your bedroom super cool. About sixty five degrees is optimal, right? If your feet get cold, you can wear socks. I use a chilly cube cube. Chilly cube. We'll put it in the show notes there. It's a little device. It circulates water through a sheet. It goes under my sheet because my wife, I don't know, is part polar bear I think. And she likes know she's part regular bear.

She likes everything warm and I like it freezing cold, but it will drop the temperature down into the low 60s or even high fifties. And in the summertime I run that thing all summer and it is awesome. It's expensive. It's been worth it for me, especially if you run hot natured an hour before bedtime, turn the lights off, dim the electronics. I actually have special glasses that block the lights. Blackout curtains can be helpful. I live out in the country now.

The only thing that keeps me awake now out there is the stupid moon. And I give it a few days because that sounds pretty natural.

If you can't sleep, I give it 10 or 15 minutes and then I get up and I go read. I get up. Reset, which you don't want to do, is to remove your body to start developing a pattern. We're going to bed is something that makes me stressed and crazy. Don't work in bed. Bed is for sex and bed for sleep. And that is it. Right. Watch TV in another room. Do work. Don't just sit in your bed with your laptop working right up until you close a laptop and try to go to sleep.

Your brain's got to cycle down.

OK, here's another big one. Don't drink caffeine after lunch. I don't drink caffeine after 10:00 a.m. unless I got something that I have to do for work late into the evening. I just don't. The half life on coffee is way, way longer than we thought.

Here's another one. Alcohol is a sedative, but it is not sleep. You feel like you're getting sleepy and you actually go to sleep. But alcohol blocks REM dream sleep, which is the critical, important part of deep sleep. Right? Alcohol will ruin your sleep. So if I have drinks out with friends, I consciously know I'm choosing socializing over good sleep. And this is going to cost me for the next few days.

And over the last few years as I have prioritized sleep over and above all other things, all of the health related things, I've begun to drink way, way, way, way less. Now I just have water out with buddies, all of a decaffeinated tea or decaf coffee. I hope I'm still fun. I think I still am. But I drink way, way, way less. Right. I do take magnesium gabb, a hemp oil, occasional melatonin.

These are sleep encouragers. These are not hypnotics. They're not sedatives. All right. And I work with a doctor on those that I trust. Here's the thing.

Not working out after five or six don't work out. Without two or three hours before you go to bed, if Kelly just perked up, she's like, that's the only time I can go to the gym. If you do, it's going to push you up. OK, so I would say at least two to three hours before we try to go to bed.

Don't be exercising. OK, that also doesn't mean don't work out until nine thirty or ten at night and then go to bed at one a.m. and get up at 5:00. Don't do that either. Right.

You got to get your time sleep. How long is good time to sleep. Seven to nine hours for most people.

If you think, oh, no, I just need four hours, almost, almost to a person, you're wrong. There is a very few people who can get by on that. It's probably not you. Maybe JoCo, not you. Maybe I don't know some. Not you. Right. Not you.

Most people walk through life chronically, chronically under sleeping. And if you don't think this is a big deal, if you remember a few years ago, the big stink with Netflix when they said we have two competitors, YouTube and sleep, and we think our best route is to go after sleep, there's a lot of excitement, a lot of great TV shows, a lot of garbage TV shows, a lot of clicky, flashy BRIGHTY, things that keep you from going to bed.

What I want you to do for 60 days is prioritize going to sleep.

And if you have a night, this is a big one, if you have a night where you don't sleep, I get those occasionally they don't bother me anymore. They used to stress me out so bad they'd make me nuts. Oh, my gosh. I got to sleep. I got to sleep. I got to sleep. I'm going to be a wreck. You know what? Now I just get up and read. I get up and I read and then the next day it makes it back up and I go to sleep.

I'm going to be all right. And I don't freak out. I don't Loewer. It's going to be OK. And so in honor of sleep night, right. In honor of sleep, I sleep night here. The sleep show here. I pulled this song from 1990 to. Some of the greatest songs ever written, especially if you like, good musicians, all of these guys, this band are better than you and better than anybody you know of.

And they they play metal in opera and keyboard things and 80s. I don't know. They're just awesome. Right. I remember seeing them in concert opening up for Joe Satriani and I just didn't speak for a while. They're the most extraordinary live band I've ever seen. But in nineteen two, they caught my attention on their images and words record. Dream Theater, James, you dream theater. Now I get I get pirogi about other bands, but I'm not in the Dream Theater seat, and you know what else?

He also plays Fender Guitars, which is a whole other conversation we should probably have someday. It's ridiculous. Gibson brother. So you want this episode to air or not? Here we go. All right.

So Dream Theater's 1992 classic song, Pull Me Under, I don't know, as a veiled reference to sleep, I guess it doesn't really work, but I'm going to go with it.

And here they go. They sing Lost. By the way, prog bands have all of these like Theodorou artsy words even.

I'm like, OK, here's the here's the words lost in the sky. Clouds roll by and I roll with them arrows fly in the seas, increase and then fall again. This world is spinning around me. This world is spinning without me. And every day since future to past, every breath leaves me one less to my last. Kellie's eyes just roll to the back of her head. Watch the sparrow falling gives new meaning to it all does it if not today, nor yet tomorrow than some other day.

I'll take seven lives for one. And then my only father son as sure as I did ever love him. I am not afraid. That's enough of that pulled, pull me under, put me under, I'm not afraid. Everybody got to sleep. This has been the Dr. John Delonas show.