So if you just want dick or something casual than this episode is not for you. You want to hold out on lemon tree like a piece of garbage, that's OK. You can go listen to call her daddy.
Hi, guys, and welcome to another episode of To Try to be crazy on every Thursday with me while events. And so today we are doing a special solo episode. It's The Dumb Bitch Bootcamp number two. So if you haven't checked out the first one and you're still being a dumb bitch, I recommend you check out the first one. But before we get started with this amazing Fonso episode, number two, we have a special guest, which is a little rheumy.
Addition eight, Francheska Farago. Hello, everybody. Well, come on. Come on. Welcome to our humble abode. Yes. So Francesca Farago, you may know her from too hot to handle. And now you are going to know her as my roommate. First, we want to do a little fun Q&A for you guys. Everyone had a lot of questions about us moving in together and all the stuff about us together. But also I wanted to do this fun roommate segment sometimes.
And hopefully if you guys like you guys can tell me if you want us to keep doing it or not. Yep, yep, we were living together for about a week or weeks, eight days now. Yeah, well as well.
So the first thing that people wanted to know that everyone's been asking is how did we meet and how do we decide to move in together? So we met because of too tired to be crazy and we decided to move in together thanks to fashion over. And this is not even an ad I just said like another. OK, do you want to say how we met or. Well, I was going through this insane breakup and then you had me on your podcast kind of to talk about it a little bit.
So we met literally on this couch, literally is like where they are right now. Yeah. And my dog was running around puking everywhere. Deja vu for me as well.
Happening right now. Yeah. Who are you? And then I forget. I remember I was just like looking for a place to live because I was moving out of my Airbnb. Haley was moving back to Jacksonville and you were like, you just live with me. And I was like, all right. And then I moved all my stuff and we went to Utah and back to Canada for five weeks. And here we are. Can I say the real story?
Yeah, I think that was the real story. Can I get in more detail?
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So the real story. OK, so yeah, we met and she did the interview. She came over my house to do an interview for to try to be crazy about her breakup. Very public breakup. I wasn't even sure yet. I have a heart like I make friends with everyone, but it definitely takes me a while to warm up to people. That is just how I am. So I wasn't even sure if we're going to be friends or not.
But Frankie, is Francesca. One thing I'll say about her, she's such a welcoming, sweet person and it does throw you off because she comes off sometimes when you first meet her. She you think she's standoffish. She actually so sweet, right?
Me. Yeah, I'm the same way as you.
It takes me a little bit to open up and be myself. And people think that I was like being either bitchy or like super shy, but I'm just like kind of like reading the room and like, yeah, was quiet when you first meet me, I'm not, like, loud in your face unless I'm, like, extremely drunk. Yeah.
Even when I'm really drunk, I guess what I'm really all and in your face. So we're a little different in that way. But anyway, so we we like sometimes text each other here and there and then we decide to hang out this one night. So I was out at dinner and it was the first time I went out in forever since, you know, there's a pandemic happening. And I randomly we ended up at my friend's house, basically my friends fashion.
I was throwing a small gathering like a small dinner. So I invited Francesca to join me. And she came there like I we literally didn't think anything of it. And basically my guy friends thought she was really hot. And next thing you know, I was like that. I want that now. I'm just kidding. That's not what happened.
You know, we were making out in the pool, that is I don't even know who did who hit on you first. I made the first move I, like, grabbed you and then you were, like, straddling me in the pool.
It was a very sexy scene in the pool. Like I was I was staring. I forgot anyone was even there. And it was very much. Yeah, I was topless. Yeah. You were topless. I was topless.
You were wearing I think it was baby you. Oh no.
Rich gave me a bikini and then. Yeah. The most reasonable and correct and the real which is the other thing. I mean they look big. Yeah. I like a very natural away.
Thank you. But you've touched them so can you confirm they're real or fake.
They're very real. Very amazing. Tenleytown of everything.
Thank you. So this is funny. So we start to make out and in the pool and it's yeah. It's very hot and heavy and next thing I know. As I'm drugged, making out with Frankie, of course, because I'm such like a Stage five clinger, like we make up for the first time, the next thing that comes out of my mouth, do you want to move in here?
I really forgot how it was actually initially started. So I guess that's how.
Yeah, because I remember I was remembering you were saying how you're going to want to look for a place soon and then you put your tongue in my mouth and I was like, oh, it's meant to be, do you want to move in? And she thought I was kidding. Then the next day when we were sober, I remember that you called me and you're like, if you actually want to.
Yeah, literally I'm down. Yeah.
And then we decided to go on vacation together with other friends. It wasn't like a romantic vacation, nothing.
It was for you. And and we and we saw that we can get along on the vacation. And then it was kind of like confirm it was like a show. We're like, yeah, let's just move in, especially because if you guys listen to some other episodes, like I was talking about how I started to feel really lonely in my house and like constantly isolate myself and staying home, I started to kind of start to feel really depressed. It was really nice to kind of have someone else be in this house with me.
And it's been really nice so far. I've been really enjoying it.
You do? Yeah. OK, so how is living together so far?
I think it's been like we've argued over really small things that like we're kind of I don't think they're actually arguments and it's not even arguing.
We don't even argue Frankin are both very not confrontational people. So if we have a disagreement, we. I will just get quiet, which is I think you like text me and you were like this bother me and then I'll text you back and then you'll text me back, like a few hours later and you're like, oh, it's OK. Like, it's fine.
But we can literally be in the same house and she'll be upstairs. I'll be downstairs and we'll communicate via text because we're both not conversational people. So we'll feel slightly uncomfortable to like face to face discuss our issues. But like literally like we have not been able to go five hours if we have a disagreement without already making up at least like I'm like a few text or whatever and clarification and then on the same page.
Yeah, but how has it been living together so far? Well, it's been an adjustment for me because she has a dog and he has managed to shit everywhere, even in my closet. Yeah. My cat is scared of him. We're still trying to figure out for him to get along and he has managed to shit and piss everyone in her room. So now we have to and scratch out the carpet in her room.
He goes to the bathroom, all the people in the night. But one day he got really sick and he ate his own poo and then he moved all over the carpet the next morning while I was in the shower and there was like piles of pukes. But I'm not even getting in on the people. And I feel like he hasn't done it anywhere in the house minus your closet. Yeah, I think. And he can control Repu, of course.
And then sometimes if Frankie doesn't take him out fast enough to go for a walk, he will now just shit in front of the front door.
Yeah. He's done that a few times now. Yeah. Yeah. Except that he's also scratched out the carpet in her room.
So we're going to have to replace piece of flooring but alone for a few hours and he. Yeah. Scratch the carpet completely off but except us so far so good.
Yeah. But I feel like he's adjusting as well. Yeah.
And he's not, he needs to get a trainer. I need to get a trainer to come here and it's not his fault.
It's Michael. Yeah. A dog mom. And I know you probably know if I think this is what I think I think about because I think it's my cat, he's he's my first ever. So I think luckily, because I already have a pet, I've learned to adjust to what it's like having animals. I feel like because of that, having grown here and seeing him like shitting everywhere, I'm throwing up like I make jokes about it. But it actually genuinely doesn't bother me because as we all know, he's like, Mom, just a puppy is not my fault.
It's not his fault. I think you're mad. You know, I just hope I like him. And pancakes can get along and then, you know, we need to start putting them in the same room more often, I think, because she's just down there and he shows up here with me, like usually by my side. Yeah. The first time she met him, she has set him and spit on him.
But moving now, she only has this.
I feel like that's like when it came to vodcast that first time she was up here, the whole time was running around. She was she was here. She was over there in her little area, really. And he was just roaming around. Oh I know. She was there. She was there. I mean, somewhere she's still around when he's around she's she's older and cats and he likes them and stuff. I just feel like another week and they'll be more used to each other.
And I feel like it's been easier for us to live together because they were both pretty clean. And I feel like we complete each other and a lot of ways. But also because Frank upstairs I'm downstairs. So I think if you were stuck in a really, really tiny apartment, both of our also our friends.
Yeah, that would be hard. You can't really move in with someone who has another animal unless two dogs or two cats because they might not get along.
OK, some people ask if we can say something. What's your favorite thing about each other? OK, you so I'll start. So my favorite thing, a few of my favorite things, I want to say just one. But I think some of my favorite things about Frank is that she's a really she's like a really bad bitch and like a businesswoman, which really surprised me. I was not expecting a lot of people forget that she went to university and she's just really smart how she runs her swimsuit business, her actual like form brand.
I mean, you guys should see her. She's like working all day. And I'm really impressed, like watching her.
I think she also has a really big heart and she's always there for her friends. And I think that's really good quality. And she said, I have a friend that you can tell just to, like, will not fuck you over. Like it's kind of like. I just feel like she's she's a loyal friend and I like that about her and I like that she's quiet because I'm not I feel like you can be quiet when you want to be, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am actually quiet. You sense when you think, you know what I about you.
I feel like I love how you look, know who you are and you, you're very like to the point and you won't let anyone like not fuck you over the way. What. You just know what you want, you know how to get what you want. I feel like I lack that. So I think hanging out with you, I'm going to be able to develop with more of like that mentality, like not letting people like walk all over me are like not letting myself get into situations that I don't deserve to be.
And like, I feel like, you know, you want to be treated and you're not going to accept anything less than that. But you're also super sweet and you have that like. Crazy side, you won't let anyone like fuck with you, you still have a really big heart as well, and you're not confrontational like these guys. I know that means that you're really sweet person and I really like living with you.
Living with you. Do you think chances are now and that's so sweet. Oh, that's so sweet. I feel like well, we did this thing called the pattern and even on the pattern to to to see we put our birthdays in and our birth times and all that. And it literally says the were insanely compatible. So it was actually kind of amazing and convenient that we ended up being roommates and it literally says how we managed to complete each other.
And it says that my personality is able to help boost Frankie's confidence. So I'm excited. And also yesterday, when we had a little disagreement because I was expecting you to come home and go out with me, but you were doing your own thing. And literally on the pattern, it said that sometimes, even though we're both independent, sometimes you're more the more independent than I am and I will need you to need me more.
And last night was literally that I kind of felt like I need to do like I want you to need me or something.
And you were like doing your own thing. So I thought that was kind of interesting. So next question. You better say yes. Are we single? Are you single? Frankie is single. Me two. Single and looking single, doing well, no, I'm not looking, not looking, but she is single. Yeah, I'm not looking. That's why we're literally going to a gathering after this, a birthday dinner. And I literally wearing a podcast you can't see, but I'm wearing a large baggy flannel t shirt sweater.
I was amazed to see my extensions poking out like my makeup done. But I'm just I told my wife before when we were getting ready, I'm like, I want to get on tonight, like me and the guy that I was seeing, we kind of just fizzled out this weekend. Fuck that guy. I'm not ready to, like, dive into anything. And he dies. And I'm happy being single.
You know, that's usually the girl that says, like, I'm not like looking for anything right now. That's that's the one that's getting up with a boyfriend ex.
I said before I met the guy, the previous guy, and I was going to want anything right now. And then I met him. Yeah. And I was still like when I first started talking to him, I was like, I don't want anything right now. I'm going to end up getting into something. But yeah, it was really toxic.
So, yeah, no more toxic things for you. I'm going to teach you how not to get into those.
You know, that's why you should listen to this is what I'm going to learn, I think a lot from you, from what I said earlier. Like yeah. I mean you learn how to handle myself with guys. You're a better judge of that stuff than I am for sure. I look, I'm very forgiving, and I. I give people that don't really deserve it way too many chances. I think always in life, no matter who it is, partner, friendship, anything.
You know what I mean? Like, I always give way too many chances are I need to be a little bit more selective with my time.
Yeah, that's interesting. I feel like I used to be like that. And then I became to the point where now I don't give any chances, like it's like one mess and one mess and I'm done. And I feel like for me that that's also negative. So I feel like we both need to figure out a way to go in the middle.
In the middle. Yeah. Hang around. Hang name thing. Exactly. Because one thing that I did last night and Frankie and I talked about it today was that I feel like sometimes I, I it's my defense mechanism where I set people up for failure. So I like played it, played it off as if I'd even care to to go out with Frankie last night because she was doing something else. But I and but it was a way to see if she's still going to come home and for us to do something.
So then I've made it seem as if I don't want to go out. And then I was like, OK, so you're not coming. Then she was like, I didn't you'd even make it seem as if you want to go out. And I was like, OK, you know, whatever it is, what it is. And I feel like I did that as a defense mechanism in order for like I said her to, I set her up to fail in order for me to feel disappointed and be like, yep, I knew we weren't going to get close.
Like, I, I keep my distance. It is what it is, you know. So I feel like that's one thing that I'm trying to learn is where I can be more I can give people more opportunities to get.
But it's also a new friendship as well. Like maybe if you were like one of my friends I've been friends with for years, if you said my God, then I would know, OK, she said that. But she actually I mean, yeah, it's because we just kind of met that I literally was like, oh, hey, looks pretty good. That's what I thought. But with you, good knowing you a little bit longer than I'll know how to read you better.
Yeah. OK, next question. A lot of people were asking, are you guys together or are you just roommates?
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We're just sort of serious. Even though we hook up when we're drunk we don't know.
Yeah. That was actually in the. Question do you think you guys will hook up, who knows, honestly, who knows? But I feel like we're pretty understanding in that way where we're not possessive with each other.
That's why I feel like it works the. Yeah, you're saying there's a chance, I mean, there's hope, I'm not saying no to it. We never again let me see some of my questions.
Have you guys ever kissed? Yes.
That's how we became roommates for story things, fashion over the pool, because it was very sweet.
Yeah, I didn't want to wear anything but fashion because I was sponsored by them, so I just went with my underwear. So if I had your tits, I would never wear a shirt and burn my.
Yeah, all the guys were so jealous. We were like, there's no cute guys here, let's just hook up with each other.
That's actually what I was thinking, though. And you were so cute.
Windies Frankie, someone's asking, what is your diet? What is your daily diet? I'm struggling to lose weight and keeping it off. I love you.
Before COGAT, I used to work every other day. Every day I had a gym in my building and I would always just go down to like 40 minutes of weights. Usually ABS arms bum the same workout. I would do small, small, small abs, small arm and small bum and then I would go back upstairs. But now that I don't do that, I haven't worked out in a while. But I had my body less toned. I've noticed.
But I think genetically I'm more lucky because I stay lean. But I do contribute that as well to my vegan diet. I think I eat really healthy and I like cooking for myself and the only time I really order it reads as if I'm hungover. And then even when I do order it, I never really order any. It's hard to get really unhealthy things as a vegan because you can eat like a lot of different stuff. But I don't really like eating deep fried.
So I think intermediate fasting, intermittent fasting definitely helps because I try to hold off eating until like noon or two because I find it very hungry. Not if I eat when I wake up, I'm starving all day. I have like six meals, but if I wait till one o'clock, I have a coffee when I wake up, wait about 1:00 and then I eat around 2:00 and then I eat dinner and then I go to bed and if I'm really hungry before bed, I'll eat it a little bit.
But I think that stuff is just like giving my diet regulated and eating clean and not overeating I think is the key for me.
But also one thing that I've noticed you guys is that I actually eat less than Franki does. And I've noticed that she's able to keep a slimmer figure. And I think it's because I think the key to a good diet is eating of dips, like eating your healthy foods throughout the day. And remember to eat your meals because I sometimes don't end up snacking, snacking a lot. And then I have like a large meal at night. So I think the reason what I'm doing is not working, which I do.
I don't like. Yeah, like, oh you like a big salad for lunch or like an avocado toast for lunch and then like a pasta or like a burger. Yeah. A pizza for dinner and then that's it.
Like she has real meals and I think that's what really helps. Like you have to have those big meals, not like eating different snacks here, there and then a big meal at night. Yeah.
I think intermittent fasting definitely really helps as well. And staying active like I in bed all day. Well, sometimes if I'm working, I sit on my butt and I'm like a laptop or computer all day.
But it was you can see somebody said who is more likely to leave passive aggressive Post-it notes about picking up after several hours.
You're so sure. But it wouldn't even be out in the house. It would be in my room. You get upset with me because I don't leave it how you, like, gave it to me. She decorated the room so nice and I was going to be in the room downstairs, but the bathroom's, like, not attached to it and the closet smaller. So I was like, I need the bathroom in the closet. So that's why I picked the upstairs room.
And if there's, like, my passport or like a cup, she'll come in and she would just, like, move it.
I have a few times cleaned her room when she hasn't been there, but I'm learning to let go of control and to, you know, not do that.
Yeah, but I don't think I'm messy. But sometimes if I'm really busy and I get like 12 packages that day, I can just leave the boxes on my floor because I just don't have two hours out of my day to spend doing it or like the mental capacity because I'm just so stressed and I can't do that later. Like, the clothes is just being like an influencer, quote unquote. I guess I get like thirty packages a week and stuff and keeping it organized as well as everything else I have to do in the day.
It's just not the highest thing in my priority list.
Yeah, well you were suggesting, but like luckily we're able to communicate pretty well with each other. OK, do you guys sleep in the same bed. No, no.
We, I feel like if Romi and pancakes a little one we would because we sleep on my pillow and pancakes sleeps on your bed. Yeah. So it wouldn't work because then the dogs, the cat, the dog would just be like what.
Anyway you guys I thought that this is a good roommate segment for you guys just to get to know me and Frankie Francesca as, as roommates. But you guys let me know if you want to have a few more segments like this on my podcast before I started an episode and we can talk to you guys about. Dating advice and stuff like that, because I feel like you guys didn't fully get to know Francesca for who she really is by just watching her and to how to handle and she's going to have some new shows coming out, too.
So you'll get to know her on those shows as well. I can't discuss them, though, but. Except that.
Yeah, let me know if you like this little spat and if you do like it, what do you want to talk about next time?
Yeah, I will make sure to do more. And now let's get started on my solo episode of Dumb Bitch Boot Camp Number two. So get out those tissues because you're about to cry and dump your man. You're welcome.
Thanks for listening.
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By the time I finish with you today, you will be walking out of this like a brand new bitch. I guarantee it. OK, look, I used to be just like you. Yeah, literally up until this year, I used to be such a pygmy girl and I'd even realize I was doing it. I used to do things to get a man's attention, no matter how much I thought it wasn't for them. Oh, the guy I'm dating is into sports only.
I'm talking about sports more are the guy I'm dating is into some weird indie music. Celian posting more about weird indie music on my Instagram stories. Oh, you like Shorthair, so I'm waiting a little longer before I get my hair extensions just because I was so desperate to make them happy. And then still, no matter what I did, no matter how much I tried, I would wash these men, lose interest in me and I would understand why am I not pretty enough?
Was I too boring? And you know, the answer is who gives a fuck if he didn't like me, bitch, you didn't even know. Yeah. If you liked him. We get so hung up on being loved that we allow men to tell us lies. We jump the thing so quickly because we're just happy they're still calling us, we believe, false flattery. We give our all so fast. And for what? For what? For a dude that spends twenty seconds looking for your clitoris, gives up and then jackrabbit fucks you Lassy to hold palms before rolling over and telling you he has to wake up early tomorrow.
So you should probably go while you're laying there looking like a toaster strudel with this come in your belly button. Well it stops here so clean up that come out of your belly button and walk away while you saw some dignity left. Hi, guys. I'm Bill Benson. Welcome to Dumb Bitch Bootcamp, part two of you of my intro. OK, so before we start this episode, I just want to let you know some disclaimer. I want you to know that these episodes that I'm creating for you and believe it or not, for myself as well, are not about telling you that all men are trash because they're not.
This is also not about telling you that there's something wrong with you because maybe there's nothing wrong with you. It's also not even about tips or tricking him into falling in love with you, because literally, if you have to trick somebody into loving you, then that's not the person for you. I truly believe that it's inevitable that you will find your person once you start doing the work on yourself and listening to these episodes. That's why these episodes are really just about you.
It's about gaining confidence. And that's what this episode will be about today. It's about finding your worth. It's about remembering who the fuck you are and believing that you're a bad bitch and therefore becoming that bad ass bitch. So if you just want dick or something casual, then this episode is not for you. You want to hold out and lemon tree like a piece of garbage. That's OK. You can go listen to call her daddy. Basic bitches chase men, we yes, you, my queen and I, we do not, and that's on period starting right now, confidence is a game changer, like real ass confidence, because maybe if you loved yourself the same way you love the idea of a man's validation, you'd be unstoppable.
OK, so today I'm going to be teaching you five steps into becoming this new you. Every single one of these basic bitch bootcamps episodes will be about something else. But today it's all about gaining that confidence. And what's going to happen with that confidence is the first thing when you'll start to see yourself as the most a bitch to walk this earth. Coincidentally, you're going to notice that you may start to shed some people out of your life, whether it's men they're casually dating, men who are pursuing you or men.
They're simply just wasting your time, even friends, because not everyone is going to be able to handle the new you. And that's OK. It doesn't mean that what you have with them wasn't special. I just want to remind you that. But it also doesn't mean they need to keep holding on. It's not your job anymore to save everyone, to heal those who are broken, to hold onto people just a little bit tighter for just a little bit longer, because, you know, deep down that if you let go, it would even make an effort to check in on you.
If someone is in treating you right, then it's time to ask what you want. And if you don't get it, then you're asking the wrong person and it's time to move on. So one thing I've realized is that not everything is meant to last forever. And once you realize that you may never get a moment twice, that's when you really start to cherish those moments. We tend to drag things out with people because we hold on to those little moments that felt so magical where once they made us feel good and then we were confused when it feels like the magic is gone and it's because we don't realize that not everything is meant to be long lasting, whether it's a relationship, a hookup, a friendship, some things are just meant to be just that.
A moment with someone to cherish, to enjoy, to feel, to learn, something to grow and then to move on. So hope you take all that in and understand that that's your first step of becoming the new you. You're going to lose some people and you have to accept it, because when you're going to be working to be the best version of yourself, you will then let go of people who are not, and you will start to attract the people who are also the best versions of themselves.
OK, so now onto the second thing. The second thing you're going to do is you're going to stop blaming being single or dating loser men on your daddy issues, on your friends, on your family issues and everyone else, or the fact that quote unquote, there aren't any good men in the sound. It's not them, it's you. I know this because it used to be me too. I realize this the hard way. If you keep dating shitty men, if you keep allowing them back into your life and just dating the same fuck boy in a different body every other week and falling for his lies, then eventually it's no one else's fault by yourselves.
Whatever lesson you were meant to learn, like don't fucking date Kyle, who only calls you to attempt to lick his butthole. It's time to listen. The universe is telling you something. So open up your ears when you don't listen and you keep dating the same mistakes. What you're really doing is you're telling the universe that it's what you deserve. You're so scared of shitty men that in the end you end up manifesting them and that's why they end up being the only thing that you attract.
So, babe, listen up. No more generic basic dick. Repeat after me. No more generic basic dick. No more men wasting your time. Keen's only if you give men anything they will always take. It's your job to learn how to stop. Men need to earn you, but we'll get to that in the next solo episode. OK, so the third thing you're going to do is you have to admit to yourself what you want and you have to say it out loud.
You have to decide that you want a relationship. We often play these mind games with ourselves, which I've literally been guilty of until recently, where we pretend like we're not looking for anything, that you don't even want a man. You don't even need a man. You don't even have time for a man. You're just having fun. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. That's so funny, Chris. Then the why were you crying on a Friday night Salkey Ben's Instagram looking at new girls he just followed and run to conclusions in your head like it's a motherfucking marathon, even though you promised yourself you two were just having fun called the WHAM billons because you played yourself.
You caught the feelings, bitch. That's why it's time to stop lying and admit that you want a relationship and admit what you want in a relationship first and then verbalize it. Say out loud, be honest with yourself. If you don't know what you want, then you want to keep attracting the wrong men and men who will just confuse you. Hence step number two. That's why I start admitting to myself that. Yes. I do want a relationship, I started to make a list of what I'm looking for in my partner, not look wise, but like literally specific characteristics and attributes I was looking for in a partner.
And I start to be honest with myself that I was lying to myself, that if I just sleep around, I'm not going to get attached, that I was lying to myself, that I wanted something casual and I was lying to myself when I used to tell guys like, oh, I have no idea what I'm looking for. I'm just going with the flow. No, that's a fucking line. I don't want you to waste my time. I am looking for a partner, for a future partner, a forever partner.
But I just don't know yet if it's you. So you have to just admit to yourself that you want a man or casual relationship or a serious one or a husband, whatever it is, be honest with yourself first. No more. If it happens, it happens. Just because you're afraid of failing, you're mentally preparing yourself to not get it. When you're saying you don't know what you want or you don't even care to find someone, be honest and say out loud that you're going to attract what you want.
And this is something that I recently also had to accept and to myself as well. So you're not alone. So then once you admit this yourself, then you'll be ready to build a roster. Yeah. You thought it was boring. I'm not. And now this roster is not for fucking, but it's because you're a boss as bitch and you deserve a man like a good man. You deserve a few actually to figure out who's the perfect one for you.
So this roster will be built of several key. So you will find yourself, but we'll get to that on the next episode because honestly, right now, you're not ready for that yet.
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You can get honey for free today at Join Honey Dotcom slash violet. That's join honey dotcom slash violet. Go get you some. OK, next. The fourth thing I'm going to teach you today, the fourth thing you're going to do is you're going to stop falling for false flattery and comparing yourself to other women to come up superior. If you think that all you have to offer is your looks and baby, you're playing a losing game because there will always be someone prettier than you since beauty subjective men can smell that insecurity.
When we women bring each other down from a mile away, they just keep playing along with it and agree with you or give you false flattery because they're just trying to get in your pants and watch how fast they were under fucking. That girl, they said was even that cute one so done with you. If you're insecure about yourself, which you are, if you feel the need to compare yourself to others, then showing off your ass because you know that's your best asset.
We'll just end up being your biggest downfall when a man rejects you, even after you offered him your ass and your whole self esteem is shattered because he didn't want to lick that golden butthole of yours. That is why it's so important to have more than just looks to offer your bigger tits a nice juicy lips and I don't know, even a water pussy. Then the other girl may get you through the door, but they will not get you in the house.
Looks only get you so far and it's not that far. Now back to comparisons. It doesn't even stop. It looks you think that just because you have a degree in a job that you're better than the girl who's a waitress who's doing night school wrong. Again, I used to think that my job defined me. The men will find that so impressive until I realized that what I'm looking for in a man is actually not what a man is looking for in a woman.
That is one thing that I recently read in the book that completely opened up my eyes that just because we look for a man that's financially stable and owns a house and all the stuff, we just assume that's what he's going to look for in us. And that's actually no women look for in a woman. If he's a good cash dummy, the most likely the women he meets in his life are probably also have an education or have money or whatever it is on your level.
It's nothing special to him. So when you're sitting there on the first day and he's like, oh, what's so great about you? Like, Oh, well, my career and blah, blah, blah. And I own a house and this bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. What he's really thinking is, wow, broken record. So Vanilla already heard this with the other three girls I went out with. I mean it's amazing to have an education.
I have an amazing job, but do it for you. Don't do it to try to impress another man. Trust me, this is one thing I realized. Men don't look for the same thing that we look for when we're dating, when we look for a man with a good career as financially independent and we then assume they're looking for the same thing with us. It's laughable because the truth is he sees no difference between you and our waitress. I just talked about that you went out with last week.
And like I said, I read this in a book a while ago and it said something like this. Congrats. You have an education. While she doesn't your career doesn't make you any less boring. Maybe your education will help you add up how many missed calls you've left and figure out that he's actually not going to call you back after fucking you. And that's on period. That's the truth that I didn't even want to listen to what is true.
It actually came as a shock to me. But the truth is, is that you and that waitress who you think you're better than you're actually in the same playing field as her would have learned again, is that that's not what makes you stand out. Now, your looks, not your degree in education, are your job. Not all of that will will help you stand out. Is your confidence, your sass, knowing exactly who the fuck you are and knowing that no one can ever take that away from you, whether he calls you or not, you don't give a fuck because your life won't change.
Whether he's there or he's not, it will be. Yes, of course, if he called you, but you still will continue being you with or without him, and that's the only thing that you constantly will have to remember, that you are a hole without anyone else. You don't need someone else to complete. You were done with that. That's how you stand out. Now, what looks now with comparisons not because you're a business owner, the best thing you have to offer by yourself is you.
Your confidence is what will make you stand out, which now gets us to step number five confidence. You have to want to fuck yourself first before expecting others to. You have to believe that you are desired, that men want you and others will start to believe you, too. And I know if you're thinking like. But I am confident. No, I'm talking about real confidence because it can't be fake. That's why this is actually the hardest to do.
This is the hardest one, because especially with social media and everything on the Internet, everyone always you always compare yourself to all these beautiful women. It's super hard every day as women have to wake up and we face so many challenges of the beauty industry put in front of us. So we're not good enough. I mean, let's be honest. The beauty in the street is not going out of business any time soon. That's what you have to really find that beauty from within yourself and know that you have to offer way more than just your looks.
And you gain that confidence by that, because you know that deep down inside, you're fucking amazing. You are unique. You're special because in the end of the day, there's no one else like you. And that's what makes you so amazing. When it's fake confidence, it means that you focus on your one or two good assets and then you try to highlight that while hiding the other parts of you that you don't love as much. The reason this is so silly, which I just already said in step number four, is because if you put all of your focus and your faith and your confidence and your self-esteem issues on that one physical asset that you think makes you so fucking special while still being insecure under the surface, it will end up being your downfall again.
Because when a man is going to reject you after offering him your ass or your amazing feat or whatever he's into, your self esteem was shattered so low that you would even know how to pick yourself back up again. And then you're going to end up comparing yourself to the next 30 days because her waist is smaller. And then you're going to assume that maybe that's why he didn't love you, but he loves her when it's completely not the case, because beauty is subjective.
It's never about the body. It's not even about the pussy. The whole thing with, like, my pussy is magical. Bullshit is just that bullshit was special. Is the person that's attached to that pussy that's attached to that beautiful body. Regardless what size you are, regardless how many flaws you see in the mirror, what's important is who you are, how you carry yourself, the SAS, the confidence, what makes you stand out like you're the only girl in the room and you didn't even need to fuck him to get his attention.
It's you. That's why it's so, so, so important to have more than just looks to offer and to love yourself. All of you. You have to learn to accept your flaws when you look in the mirror. And trust me, I know it can be really scary sometimes to be naked in front of another another person because it feels so vulnerable. But a guy is just happy to be invited to the Pussy Party. He's just happy to be there.
He's just happy that you're getting naked in front of them and he's about to get his dick. Look, he's not thinking like, oh, shit, it's her nipple bigger than her other nipple. He's just like, holy shit, this is the most beautiful creature that's standing in front of me. So you have to be the most confident bitch he's ever met. And the more you pretend to be that, the more you will start to believe it.
And I encourage you to start looking yourself naked in the mirror and start to learn how to love every single part of you. Because this is all you have. This is you. This is who you are. And you're beautiful, naked or with clothes. Not to mention you have so much more than just your body or your pussy to offer. Remember that. So did you know the research shows that one out of three teenagers won't participate in a classroom debate because they don't want to draw attention to the way they look.
One in five are not even showing up to class anymore on these. They don't feel good about themselves. Research found that specifically, if you don't think you're thin enough, you will score a lower grade point average than your peers who are not concerned about this. Like, that's mad to me. This is consistent across Finland, US and China, low body confidence is now affecting and undermining academic achievement. And that's not all. Did you know that seventeen percent of women won't show up to a job interview on a day when they weren't feeling confident about the way they look?
And this research, by the way, is just so is a few years ago. So I'm sure right now the numbers have gone up since, and that's just education employment wise. Now, imagine the percentage when it comes to dating and how many times women turn down dates because they didn't feel good in their own skin or they allow men to walk all over them because they thought that the person they're with deserve someone better physically. And the list goes on.
You're not alone. I've been there, too. And what age that we stop loving when we saw in front of the mirror, when did it suddenly become not OK to love the way we look? When did you stop enjoying your own reflection and when did you start judging yourself so harshly and based all of your worth on your looks? I used to sit on Instagram and go through all these pretty girls ages. I actually literally did this this morning before recording and I was like, What am I doing?
Because it made me feel so bad about myself. And I used to wonder, how do you compete with all these beautiful girls? I mean, there are so many of them now. It made me feel so insecure. I would think my lips are not big enough for my. They're too big, the black circles under my eyes. I wish my eyebrows were thicker, my eyes were smaller, my cheeks are too fat. My chin is too small.
My forehead is too big. And someone just told me that my head is shaped like an egg and I can't stop staring at my double chin, like, don't even get me started on my double chin and oh, that's only my face. Don't even get me started with my body. It's exhausting to be a woman in twenty twenty with all these unrealistic beauty standards and social media making it so much easier than ever to hate ourselves. But that's why I always do my best to remind myself that I don't need to compete with anyone else by myself to be a better person than I was yesterday, because I may not be the prettiest girl in the room, or the youngest or the smartest or even the funniest.
But I can be kind and I can be brave and I can continue to do my best to grow as a person every single day and believe that I am enough, at least for myself, not for anyone else, but for me. Because if I don't learn how to love myself, then how could anyone else anyway? I really do hope that you enjoyed the whole episode. Let me know if you thought it was too short. Let me know if you want the next episode to be a little longer.
I really hope that by the next solar episode that you have time to start working on your confidence and you stop seeking the approval of other men or the approval of others by how many likes to go on Instagram. And you just stop seeking the approval of anyone else except yourself, because once you're there, then you will be ready for the next steps of my solo episodes, which will be a step by step to winning a first date. Do's and don'ts.
How to not get obsessed with the guy too fast in the beginning of dating, how to build a roster with nothing but kings and a bunch of tents. Why you shouldn't fucking fuck him. Let me tell you right now. Do not fuck him until you have a foundation with him. Fucking a man too early. He will lose interest with you. Well, we'll get to that in the next episode. How to ask him for what you want, how to love yourself even more and so much more.
I'm honestly so excited for this little series. I'm so thrilled that my dumb bootcamps, part one did so well. I'm hoping that you enjoyed this one just as much. And I can't wait to continue the series. I really hope that this episode made you feel good. If you have any questions or there's anything else you want me to talk about, you can leave me a review in the podcast app and I will make sure to read it and I will make sure to answer your questions next.
Also, one thing I forgot to mention is that A, let me know if you enjoy my little roommate special and me and me and Frankie will make sure to make more of those, but also be in the future. I'm going to start doing a call in where you will be able to call into my podcast, ask me a question and I will give advice on the podcast. So that's going to be really fun and I can't wait to feature you.
So definitely go in the podcast reviews and let me know if you're interested in that. Just write a review. Hopefully it's five stars. Ask your question or let me know that you're interested in doing the call in and we will make it happen anyway. Don't forget to love yourself. Always put yourself first. And I fucking love you, bitch. I have an amazing day.