Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

Like a curved dick adds a whole different, like sensation and like I'm just like a proponent of curved decks out there and with the curved side of my DMS, I'm not available now, but I might be in the future.

[00:00:28]

Hi, guys, I'm Bob Benson. Welcome to another episode of To Talk To Be Crazy on every Thursday. With me today, my guest is Hannah Burner. I say your last name right.

[00:00:38]

You nailed it.

[00:00:39]

By the way, she is a funny Internet personality. If you don't know who she is. You've seen her tweets around everywhere. Everyone always posts her tweets. You're also known for summerhouse. It was on Bravo, right?

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Yes. Still on Bravo. Bravo. And now you're also joining a new late night talk show on Bravo's Chat Room.

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Congratulations. Thank you, honey. She's also Leo and she's dating a Scorpio. We'll get into that later.

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Oh, my God. I can't wait. I love astrology and cats. What do you know about being a LEO?

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OK, all I know is we're creative, we're loyal. We like attention.

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We're generous. The one thing that I'm not Leo like is I think a lot of Leo's like like fancy shit and buying stuff and showing off stuff where I'm very like minimalistic. But I love compliments and like emotionally getting things. Emotionally getting things.

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Yeah. I like to manipulate people emotionally. No, but I love attention and that kind of shit.

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Yeah. They say that Leo's I think I wrote down little girls are just naturally beautiful like they just can always steal the room basically. You look beautiful. You're confident, Leo. Women are very confident. The center of attention. Very fiery, selfish but not selfish as the other firesides, the most selfish one between the firesides as an Aries and then followed by Sagittarius, followed by Leo, Soliah and Leo are very loyal, supposedly, except my ex-boyfriend not trying to harness that thing.

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But normally Leo's are very loyal and they're really good friends.

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I feel like yeah, like we can if we give people attention. I've heard that we can make someone feel like we're the only person in the room. When I'm on to zoom call, I make you feel like you're the only person on the zoom.

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Wow. Because you are the only one right now are sometimes with Leo's.

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I feel like it's a Scorpio. Leo's are so prone to giving a lot of flattering compliments because I go back obviously but then because we love compliments. Yeah. Murphy I'm a very deep person. So then sometimes when I hear that I feel like it's false flattery and I don't realize that that's actually a Leo's way, Leo's person's way of letting you know they're they fancy you.

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It's like I love language is. Yeah. Like compliments and but so many people. It's true. Even when I had you on my podcast just now burning in hell, I said something to you and you're like, oh, thanks for the affirmation in my head. I was like, no, it's not affirmation, it's just real. Like you crushed it. Yeah.

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This guy, this guy like who's Leo that I know is always like, oh, is that my future wife on the phone, the most beautiful woman in the world. Like jokes like that. Oh yeah. OK. And in my head I'm like, oh false flattery. Yeah.

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I guess you could come off like OK, well what's real and what's not. But yeah, Leo's just like love, affection and attention and like with our we're using our words to make people happy. Yeah. OK.

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And the last thing I forgot when I was introducing you should also know for a podcast Burning in hell. I was so fucking stupid and I just had Vialet on.

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You guessed it. She just had me on. I appreciate it. And now she's on my podcast.

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I'm releasing the episodes on the same day. So obviously if you just listen to our podcast, welcome to Mind. If you haven't listened to our episode yet, then finish listening to mine and then go to hers. It's double x diamond double penetration. It's amazing. It was juicy.

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Like you got fucking deep on your daddy issues and I feel like no fucking clue to you. Yeah. Inside and out. Yes. I saw the guys I've dated.

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You've a deep vagina but like narrow canal you.

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I've talked about that before. Yeah. Yeah. Do you um I actually like I've had issues with like guys with dicks that were too big.

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That's why I like I come up with the idea like I like guys with like average slightly below size six because then I'll like do palletize on their dick like I can like fucking handle it. But I've dated like this British guy's dick was too big and it was like I did do a fucking meditation every time he tried to go inside me.

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I feel like I can't tell if it's like real when girls say that because I'm like, you literally can have a baby out of your vagina. I know. I pretend like you can't have a big dick. It's I almost feel like it's girls. Me like my pussy so tiny and so tiny like, oh my God.

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Maybe I just wasn't that into him and I wasn't white enough. I don't know. But it was like to Gertha know.

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So I'm just like either way I've never been with a really big dick or I just have a very wide set vagina. I'm like, what does it say about me?

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You have to change your branding. No, it was like my forearm. It was huge.

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But it was like funny to like, look at it's funny. It was like it's harder to look at them like have inside me also. What does it say about your current boyfriend?

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You just. Oh, my God. He no, he doesn't look below average dick, so anyway, no.

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So my boyfriend, I'm obsessed with this dick because it's like curved. And I don't think people talk about curve dicks enough in the world.

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Do you agree? Yeah.

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Like a curved dick adds a whole different, like, sensation. And like, I'm just like a proponent of critics out there. Anyone with the curved side of my DMS.

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I'm not available now, but I might be in the future, you know, to my boyfriend again.

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I hope he doesn't listen to the what is it curved where his is like curved down and it just like hits certain spots.

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And it's nice also when he's flipped. So when he's laying on top of you, his will be the curve up. Yeah.

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Or if or like you could do a reverse cowgirl and then it's curved in a different way then you literally hate your G spot.

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Yeah. Wow. So sometimes I do think it's less like I mean he has a good sized dick but it's not like so big that I need to like, you know, to tense up beforehand.

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Yeah. And I've said this before and people men got mad of me that I said big dicks are the ones you have fun and experiment with. They're not the ones you marry.

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Yeah. That's why your average dick. That's the boyfriend material. Dick.

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That's a real dick. Yes.

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Yeah. Because like, you know, when your your vagina is love, I'm using doctor terms today. Your vagina is just like throat like hurts after like it's sore. Like you got pounded like that feeling. I like lega but like I don't need it for my husband, like I want my husband to fuck me like five times a day and it's like fun and easy.

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Like I have to go in a stretcher to leave. You can't do a big dick. It's like it's more fun. Yeah. My vagina is hurting for three days I probably got a yeast infection. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

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We were talking on my podcast a little bit about how like sex is like an exchange of energy and how also do you know some guys you like always get a yeast infection or like a UTI from and they say it's like some guy's just like isn't compatible with your age. And I feel like the right guy, like you won't be getting yeast infections with one of my exes was constantly give me a UTI or yeast infection.

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And I just recently read that actually men can have yeast infections. So anything that motherfucker probably. How do you use infection the whole time with you cussing as Dick? And he was just constantly giving to me. But yeah, not only was our energies not meant to be, neither were we. So so I think if you're going to use infection's check, check those energies because they're probably off. Yeah, I agree, but yeah, I don't want to get a like a big dick gives you a yeast infection tie.

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Sometimes it, like dries you up in there, you're in pain. Like, if you you want to have sex with him all the time. So, like, I just I can't. Yeah.

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Like, with the guy with the huge dick, he kind of just like casually slip it in and had to be like I had to do a whole stretching routine beforehand where like I like when a guy in the morning just like fools around a little next, you know, it's in and you're like, oh, I guess maybe I've never been with a big dick because I feel like then I've done that.

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So either my or my vagina is just really big. Now I know first I'm kidding. Like, I think I'm tight. I don't know. I mean, have you ever heard, like, a guy like it's like when you put tampons and sometimes I feel like I feel uncomfortable, so and then I feel like a guy, 17 year old boy would be like, how come you didn't moan when you put in that tampon?

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I also feel like every guy tells every girl the vaginas. It's like we don't really know. So I would never tell you. I know.

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And I always fall for it when I'm fucking a guy and they're just like, damn, you're so tight. And I'm like, oh my God. I know, right?

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There's also a guy told me once that even if you're with the same girl, her vagina tightness will change, like depending on like the time of the month or like. So like you're not always it goes up and down. Yeah, I heard. Or like I'll do kegl sometimes in the middle of sex. Are you to confuse them. Yeah.

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You're like, are you with someone new right now. Nope. Still me.

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[00:10:55]

How have you been holding up during quarantine.

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Quarantine really stressed me out for only minimal two reasons. The world is crashing and burning, but people are dying. But I do think that overall quarantine has been like a good, like reflecting time. I've been with my parents a lot. So so I got to spend time with them that I wouldn't have had and then I like fell for someone during quarantine, which was wild, right?

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Yes, I was reading that. So you have a man. What what is that like?

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So I was like, she's so single. I told you I didn't have sex for six months because, like, I had sex in December, then quarantine him in March. And if I knew quarantine was going to hit, I would have had like multiple appointments, just like prepare myself. But I didn't. And I, like, forgot what sex was. I was like super horny then, like super not it was like weird then I was face timing, like this football player that I met on Rhia for like three months, like we would FaceTime every day.

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And it was weird because I knew he was like fucking other girls and partying in Florida, obviously.

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But like, you just like want to talk to me every night.

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So he was like my pretend boyfriend. But deep down I was like, we don't live in the same place. But it was such a quarantine relationship where we just would, like, make each other laugh. And then this guy, this comedian in New York City, slid in my DMS and was like, Are you out in Long Island? And I was like, yes. And I'd never met him. But I remember him being cute because I'd seen him perform before.

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But I thought he lived in Ireland. He, like lives, have there and Ireland have in America. And he was like, let's get coffee. And then like we just hit it off. And then the FaceTime dude was like, what's up? And I was like, oh, I met someone. He's like, how the fuck do you meet someone? You live with your parents every day? And I was like, Don't worry about me, you're fired.

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And so then I started seeing this new guy and it's been like, really easy. Also, he's forty four right now.

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Actually I was forty five is forty four. Forty four. What's it like to date an older man are older guys the move.

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The funny thing is I've never been one to like be into this at ease. Like I love like a young stupid athlete which has gotten me really far.

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But there's something nobody actually recently asked me for advice about how to date an athlete. No one advice. Now he's going to cheat on you. OK, that's like the number one.

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They're professionals, like currently playing. They're going to cheat on you. They're already cheating on you before you even started just telling to wear a condom. But also a lot of them.

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Yes, a lot of them have CTE, which is like this brain disease that like football players and hockey players have, which means like they just are like not fully functioning.

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So like if they're slow or they get angry easily, it's just the CTE that's part of it.

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I only I've only dated a basketball. So good basketball players on the. Yeah, my advice is that get used to them cheating on you even as much as you think you're special. You're not. I'm like accept me. Like I like all of them are cheating on you guys. Like mine does not cheat on me. He's one hundred percent cheat on me when he's like randomly in a different state doing God knows what. And I don't hear from him for two days.

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Get ready for them sometimes not reaching out to you and you just have no idea what the fuck happened. And then they come back around. Sometimes you even make plans and they just forget to show up. And it's us.

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That's literally how athletes work. They have this weird schedule and they follow the schedule. And if someone if their manager forgot to put you in the schedule or their brain just doesn't work like that, they'll forget my my my guy was just playing video games. Sometimes he flaked on me or maybe he was fucking someone who knows anyway, they're going to cheat on you and but they're really fun to cuddle with and to have sex with. And I recommend for anyone to have sex with Natalee at least once.

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It's a wonderful experience. But that's not the guy you want to marry unless you're in it for the money. Then just marry an old guy who's going to die. I don't know. What do I now know? I think you're 100 percent right. Dating a professional athlete is not fun to like my love life are just quality time and like they just won't be with you after like they're always traveling you. Then they get traded and then you have to uproot your life.

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Also, a lot of them are narcissists because their whole life they're just told they're like the greatest, hottest, most talented people. And like you just I watched this doctor, Dr. Dre documentary, actually, and I was dating this kind of famous guy three years ago. And he fucked me up because I was everyone was like, oh, my God, you're dating this guy. So amazing. But I didn't realize that I wasn't happy. And I watched the Dr.

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Dre documentary, and it his wife was like, I'm the rock and he's the balloon. And like, I just hold him down. That's my job.

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And I was just like, you know, you get me the fuck out of here. And it's funny because Dr. Dre actually just got divorced. And I just feel like if a guy is making you feel like second fiddle or you don't feel like equal as a partner with him, it doesn't mean he's cooler than you are, like smarter than you or funnier than you. You're just not being treated as an equal partner and get out.

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But again, it depends what you're looking for, someone you with that like some cultures are OK with that, where you are literally just holding down your man. But like for women like us, who we are more in entertainment and what we do, we need to be the star of the show a lot of the time. So we can't we just it won't work for us to date someone else that has to be the star of their show.

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We need to work behind the scenes a lot of the time. Yeah, or actually, will the guy I'm dating now is a comedian, and I thought I was saying that I was like, oh, you know, this is good. We're having good conversation because I also told myself I'd never dated comedian again because I've dated one and they're nightmares. However, this guy is older. So, like, we're a different part in our careers, like he's already well established and not like comparing himself to me also.

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Like he didn't grow up with, like millennial like technology and stuff. So he like loves like learning from me and like thinks what I'm doing is what is what does that.

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Oh, it's face time, you know, actually I said I was like texting with him and it was like a perfect opportunity to send, like, a cute gift, a gift. And he was like, oh, that's how you can tell you're dating like a millennial by like the speed that they can access gives over to calling daddy or daddy.

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Well, he had a nickname before he, like, came out and I was calling him Cadie Daddy because, like, we played golf on our second date. So, like, online, when I talk about it, I'd be like, candy, daddy. But I do think a lot of guys also when I meet them in their late 20s, I'd be like, OK, first of all, do they like their career? A lot of them wouldn't.

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And I'd be like, OK, how do I get them to, like, fall in love with their career? Then I'd be like, OK, do they have, like, issues with their parents? They've never been to therapy. OK, how do we get them to therapy. OK, like living wise. Like what things are they bad at like day to day. Like OK, their organization is shedder like whatever.

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Like I would just become a project manager and like I'm done being a project manager and dating an older dude. His exes have already fucking like guys learn from every girl they've dated. So like at forty four he has been like he's so well trained.

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And what's been the lesson you want to be with the guy who already learned all the lessons and now you get to you get to reap the benefits and you get to enjoy him versus like I agree, like that's what I was happening. I was dating younger guys and I was always like me, like, OK, yeah. How can I help him with his career and things like that. Was you motivated on your own? And then the last guy I dated, he was like, I broke up with him because I'm like, you have intimacy issues, like you're narcissists, like you have to go fucking therapy.

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And then he like, met someone after me and it's like so great. And he's like, I'm going to therapy and it's been amazing. And now I take up yoga and I'm like, shut the fuck up. Like, I'm glad that I set you up for success, but like, I'm done being that like stepping stone for, like, true love.

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Because I tell you what really is wrong with, you know, everyone has issues. It's finding issues. Yeah.

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One of my favorite tweets that I've written because I'm an artist who is dating is finding someone whose parents fucked them up in a compatible way to how your parents fucked you up. So it's like really finding compatible problems and like, he still has issues, but like he, like, knows how to be a good guy.

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See, the first older man that you've ever dated.

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I've always dated guys who were like slightly older. The oldest I dated before that was thirty five and I was twenty five. And then when I date guys in their twenties, they just feel like squirrel brains. Yeah, I feel like even guys in their 30s now don't have their shit together, especially New York and L.A. guys, to. New York and L.A. guys, oh, yeah, New York guys, if you like, or worse than L.A. guys, I don't know what about them?

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It's like my vagina just gets I literally have a LDAP. When a guy from New York tries to talk to me, I'm just like, don't adapt. Oh, my God.

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We see you like Jewish guys because New York is just. Do you like Jewish guys?

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Because it's a lot of just like a of Jewish finance guys that's probably was giving me the damn New York. New York is just guys who were like, I'm just working my ass off. I want to make as much money as possible. And like, bitches love me because I'm in finance, like just finance pros. Yeah.

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They're just so narcissistic. They're like some of the guys that I've met from New York. I'm not saying they're really narcissistic. And then there can be sometimes very opinionated. And I just don't like I just feel like there's too much stress for me. And I don't want to deal with people being too opinion about anything. So I'm like too much for me.

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You know, I feel like you've been traumatized by some New York guys, but yeah, they like the hustle and bustle and they talk really aggressively like me.

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I talk really aggressively. People think I'm from New York all the time. I'm not I guess I just talked, as you said, that all the time. They think I'm from New York. Yeah. Like bacon, egg and cheese. Oh, yeah. I was just saying what how why?

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I think guys in their forties are better and better than guys.

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They're like like are they do guys in their forties like super down to eating. Eating virgin. Yeah.

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I don't think that's, that should be an issue for any dude in their 40s.

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Like I feel like and like you actually know how to make you can do orgasm with them. Yeah. But also like I love his curved penis and that's just a plus. Wow.

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So then what's the most romantic thing your 40 year old man did for you when we got this is I like I'm embarrassed saying this, but I guess this is my life side coming out. But he bought me a hot tub.

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What the fuck?

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Like I said, but I love hot tubs and I guess he was already thinking of it. But this is why I also like dating guys who are older, like he already like.

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Well, he have money like I did it. So many dudes are so fucking broke and like, I love paying for stuff and but like, I've never been spoiled to the extent where I was like, I like love hot tubs. And then in a week he was like, hey, I'm getting a hot tub.

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And I mean, obviously, like it's for him, like it's in his house, but like it was for me. Wow, I love that about him. I love that. Is it like do you feel like you guys communicate well? Because Leon Scorpio's so her boyfriend I don't know if I mentioned it. He's a Scorpio. And so then do you feel like you communicate well or so are so good. I think so far so good.

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We're definitely like fiery and never boring. Does that make sense? Like he will get like super passionate about something or like if one of us gets upset about something, like it's a thing like it's a moment like we need to like, fully, like talk it out and like fight it out. And then we're like, move on. We're like, no one keeps anything in. But like we're so we're like overly communicative, communicative with each other. Like at the end of a phone call he'll be like, by the way, like it hurt my feelings when you said this.

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And so me like he literally like I will like make a joke about an ex and at the end of the phone call would be like, by the way, like, I hate when you talk about that and like it wasn't funny. And then I'll be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I so respect you for telling me how you feel and being open like we're really mature.

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That's the only reason I feel like that's why it's working out between Escorpion and Leo, because that's also so me and my like, immature Scorpio's self, I would just hold it in but now have to let it out. But I'll wait. Everything's over. And then I get the courage to finally say something in the end of a conversation is usually when I was to say, by the way, this and this kind of affecting me.

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And I feel like we are like if we met when we were younger, we could have probably had terrible communication. But we're both like evolved in our signs. I feel like I finally met this dude because I finally I'm like just being myself and like being open because I used to be that girl who was like, I like the guy. I was like, I'm going to be the perfect girlfriend for him. I'm going to chop his ass then seven months.

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And I'm like, I fucking hate this guy.

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But like, I'm dating him. He's like, I literally hate him. But my friends joke like I love cats. And I started seeing him and he fossas pit bulls. I'm like posting all these swipe ups for people to adopt pit bulls. And they're like, who are you fucking what are you fucking that? You're posting pit bulls all the time. But like, he's just I don't know. I'm like, very intense right now. It's very, very new.

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But he's. What do you think about work? Scorpio's and Leo's Lienemann Scorpio man.

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Well, I mean, I'm a Scorpio woman and my ex-boyfriend is a little guy. And we had a very toxic relationship, also really young. But I feel like a friend, like my friend, my roommate and a future roommate, Francesca, she's dating talking to Leo guy. So I think they're still talking. So then she and she's a Scorpio. And I feel like there is a guy that I'm somewhat intrigued by who's a LEO. So there's all these Leo's in our lives, so I suddenly can't talk badly about it.

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But we're not really supposed to be compatible, but because we're both so passionate.

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But I feel like as long as you respect one another and you can, because Leo's are so communicative, score everything in and that's it doesn't work out. But and but he's like done work on himself. And I think that in the past he has held last often and now he's just being like so open and honest and it's like so attractive to me.

[00:24:45]

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[00:26:04]

I hate when guys too early on say they like you, like you on first date or second date are like I really like you, I'm like you.

[00:26:12]

I don't trust you because you don't know me and guys don't fall like first date. Second date.

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They don't know that me trying to justify all the times I fell in love with somebody on the first day. You don't know that.

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I think girls can, but guys are like so physical in the beginning they don't like fall emotionally, they fall for you and less way they just don't realize it.

[00:26:31]

So when guys are like, I really like you in the beginning or they're like talk about if guys are talking about the future on the first or second date, they're fuck boys and you can't trust them. That's so true.

[00:26:42]

There was even an episode about it with Sex in the City with Samantha that she married a guy. Anika, if anyone I don't know who ever watched said this, I feel like one time I was like, I'm such a Samantha. And people were like, who's who?

[00:26:52]

Samantha and I was like, What have you never seen Sex in the City? You know, Sex in the City. Right. Obviously, I watch every episode. OK, yeah. It's really educational. So Sex in the City, Samantha met a guy and he kept talking their first or second date kept on, but she was interested in him. He he convinced her by constantly talk about their future, always saying we always seeing us. And she fell for it.

[00:27:13]

And it's one of those the tricks of those men will do that in order to get you into bed. He fucked her once or twice and then she never heard from him again.

[00:27:22]

I've heard that story so many times were like the most romantic guys, like the guy that did something like it's like if anyone does that too early on, like you can't trust them.

[00:27:31]

Well, no, look, I love romance like my first dates. They're all romantic, but it's just like it's my going fuck them. Yes.

[00:27:38]

But like something like overly overly like you're the fucking one type shit early on.

[00:27:44]

I can't tell you consider romantic then end up in that way. I feel like it's I mean. Yeah if somebody. No actually you're right. Like this guy that my friend was talking to, he took her. We live in Los Angeles and he took a horse riding in Santa Barbara on the beach and she was so infatuated with him. And then like within a week of talking, they weren't even having sex anything with a week of talking.

[00:28:07]

He was just like like like you so much. Come to Europe with me. I literally went on vacation. I was just like, damn. Like, I'm I've been manifesting I just want to flowers from a guy like this, which is getting like a year vacation like I'm doing. You're wrong. But then it didn't last for long because then when she said no to the vacation, she she did some ayahuasca trip.

[00:28:26]

And after she did ayahuasca, she came back from L.A. story of her story ever get over her life.

[00:28:39]

So she came back from my Laska trip and she was very spiritual.

[00:28:43]

She really she doesn't want to be around any negative energy. I mean, energy of people she doesn't know. She said no to the year of trip. And after that, he completely goes to her.

[00:28:50]

I never spoke to her again. Oh, no. Because it wasn't authentic. Right. So I'm saying you're right.

[00:28:56]

And like, if a guy is just like, I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't even know a girl and is like going that far out there romantically to try to, like, win them over, like get some confidence in yourself and like use your personality.

[00:29:08]

You're right. I guess I did it. Like I said, it was so amazing what he did when speaking to you. Now, I realized that you're right. That is that's false flattery, because that can be real. Like, how how do you know? But then my dad married my mom after one month and they're still together. Well, that I believe in that. I'm saying like first and second day. It's like how they act. But like my parents got married, got engaged in four months to like I totally believe that when, you know, you know.

[00:29:31]

But like, I had a friend on a first date, the guy was like kissing her in the rain and then, like, wrote her this, like, long note on a napkin and like all this bullshit and like, then go sit her.

[00:29:41]

Now that I think about all my incredibly romantic. First and second and third and fourth dates turned out and like an explosion that I think about because we didn't actually know each other well, the best first date to the ones that are kind of casual, but you end up talking for like six hours because you just can't get enough of the conversation.

[00:30:01]

So trying to actually do research about that and have to get back to my to my listeners on that. So I'm trying to figure out whether it's a good to have a first day where you talk for hours or I've recently read somewhere that you need to have like a 90 minute date. So it's an hour and a half and you have or like 60 to 90 minutes, you have to cut it. You have to keep a short one. So it leaves them wanting more.

[00:30:22]

Can I tell you what happened with the guy I'm dating now? So our first date we like, got lunch and like, walked around, got coffee and it was like four or five hours of just talking. And then because I was Korona paranoid at the end, like he kind of like could have kissed me. And I was like, no. And he was like, that was fun. And I was like, yeah, I might see you again.

[00:30:43]

Maybe not like I was just kind of bitchy, but like he knew I was joking. And the second day he wanted me to play golf. And we played golf and he was so much fun and then I was like, he has this house like by the beach, and I was like, I want to see his house on the beach. So I was like, can I go to your house? And he said that he, like, literally had no idea that I wouldn't even kiss him.

[00:31:01]

And now I'm like, bring me back to your place. So he didn't even prepare for it. And then we spent the day on the beach and then we had sex. And then like we've been dating for a couple of months, but also like Corona dating, it's like I don't have time. I like the world could end tomorrow. I don't have time. And with the right guy, I don't think it matters what time you have sex with him, like as long as it's not like in the car when he picks you out the first time.

[00:31:24]

Yeah. Or something. Is Dick like way to eat in the restaurant. Don't be eating his dick before you even got to the restaurant.

[00:31:32]

Like wait for the appetizer bitch I you guys had sex. The second date was on the beach. No, but it was like on the beach, we kissed for the first time and then I was like, can we go back to your place? And he's like, Yeah, like I haven't had sex in six months.

[00:31:47]

I was dying. You like Googled on the Internet because we were talking because we were talking about her on her podcast. How like when you start to Google, like how to tell if a guy likes you, that's when you know you're in the dumps like that. So, you know, so but he was probably Googling like how to tell us Millennial likes you. It's like, OK, so she doesn't kiss you, but then she wants to fuck you on the second date.

[00:32:06]

Like, I'm so confused and the gifts keep coming. She keeps sending gifts. I'm right away.

[00:32:13]

Did you just not care about calling him whatever you wanted or all that, or were you still Cuoco playing a game?

[00:32:19]

It's so funny because like from the start, can he message me? It was so up front. Like he was just like, do you want coffee? And I was like, yes, here's my number. Like, I could just tell from his energy it was like, are you in or you out?

[00:32:30]

And I'm very upfront. Yeah, he's very upfront. And I knew that, like, if I tried to like I didn't have to play games, but if I did, he would have been like, I don't have time for this shit.

[00:32:39]

Like, so it was the more open we were with each other, the more it was like turning us on. But even like after we had sex on the second date, I was like lying in bed with him and he looked at me and he could and he was just like, by the way, like, I don't care how early it was, like, you know, like I was and thinking I was like, I wasn't thinking that.

[00:32:58]

But clearly, you know, I'm just I actually was thinking and I was like, oh, damn it, my mom would not be happy.

[00:33:03]

But him saying that even machinery that like we were connecting, he was letting me know, like, I'm not just having sex with you. Like I'm actually interested in.

[00:33:11]

You guys use a condom. Yeah, I don't know, because I want to make fun of you because you're just like I'm just so scared of Colvert.

[00:33:19]

Like SCD are fine. Well, we were masked like no condoms girl.

[00:33:27]

I need to wear condoms. I do but I'm on birth control.

[00:33:30]

But I mean it doesn't prevent STDs. But I feel you owe 100 percent.

[00:33:34]

Doesn't prevent it is like I was so into him. Never wear a condom. No. I just for our listeners, I want to be like, it's not that anyone looks up to me at all, they're probably just crazy, but like, I can be better with condoms. My mom said, like, use the condom. Like, even if you do have sex early, use the condom as like you want to have you on a raw dog, then we have to be exclusive.

[00:33:55]

But still to to banter that, I'd say if you have to trick him to be exclusive, he's not the right one.

[00:34:02]

No, I agree. And I don't have sex with guys unless we're exclusive, at least in my head. Now, I've learned that, like, I have to ask them to like our exclusive think we're exclusive and I guess we weren't.

[00:34:11]

So my thing with him is like quarantine. I didn't care to have a boyfriend. And then I was just around my parents all the time. And they're so cute and they still love each other.

[00:34:19]

And I finally was like, you know what, I have to you were like your mom, mom, I want with you and dad have.

[00:34:25]

And then you literally got someone like your dad and your parents were like, we didn't mean like, no, they're like a little too many similarities, but I feel like I was always going for emotionally available guys because I was emotional and available.

[00:34:37]

And I know it's weird because, like, I am naturally emotional, but it was more like I like dating guys I had no pressure with. And then they would like me because they could sense that I wasn't pushing for anything. And I actually was like distracted by other people while with them. But finally I was like, that doesn't provide me happiness because guess where it's left me alone with my parents. And finally, I feel like I was in a vulnerable place.

[00:34:57]

And then when I met him and he was being very open, I was like, fuck, let's just let it out.

[00:35:01]

Let's just be obnoxious. Like, we're disgusting. We're like, close the snookums and stuff. Like, it's gross.

[00:35:07]

But you guys are like, really lovey dovey. We're super lovey dovey and it's like nice to just experience it, but it's so off brand for me because I'm such like a like like you probably don't even like him and are trash like me. No. Yeah. Like I'm so like that. But I think it's important to like women are complex who have a lot different sides to us obviously. And sometimes you can break me and he's like broken me for a bit anally niya anally.

[00:35:35]

But I'm like we'll probably get there soon because Cornton you have so much time on your hands.

[00:35:39]

It's so funny. I'm like that too. I feel like I do these podcast. I'm just like menor trash blah blah. Respect yourself. But then but then like I'm not talking about once you're in the relationship because I'm also so like I'm so lovey dovey and like I have if I'm obsessed with somebody because I do get obsessed with the people I date, like I just want to touch them all the time and kiss them. And like we're just like I and I also have this thing where I love to get overly sexual with somebody in front of other people.

[00:36:03]

Like I think it's funny to make people uncomfortable. I feel like it's a Scorpio me. So I can literally like just like this one guy I was dating, these his friends came over my house and then he's just sitting next to me and I just got on top of them. I started making out with them because I just think it's funny. But then I don't realize that it's like the guys men don't mind. And so they're like, fuck, yeah, free porn.

[00:36:21]

So then we have to stop because I'm like, well, we're not going to have sex in front of them with all those things. Or I'm overly touchy in front of other people because I think it's funny.

[00:36:30]

I well, it's I feel like I'm the same way that I love to get people's reactions. Like, I love to just see how people react to things. But he actually wasn't a PDA person, but now he's the one that I like kissing me in public. So I like that.

[00:36:42]

He probably was a PDA person, but he was too scared to show his real emotions because he's a scorpion, he holds it all in. But then once he saw that it's OK with you now, he's, like, so excited to do it back.

[00:36:51]

I think you nailed it. I think you totally nailed it. I thought I had to have like a behind the scenes kind of guy, but it's crazy because, like, I also need to really respect them. And if I feel like I make them my little bitch, which I've done in the past, really, guys like they do my laundry, they just like wait around for when I'm done with what I'm doing. It's like fun for the first couple of months of a boy toy and then, like, you don't respect them.

[00:37:12]

So like him, as much as I love attention, I also love when, like, everyone's watching him perform and like I'm in the green room and just like proud of him. So it's like it's a nice balance.

[00:37:23]

So nice that some people doing a samba independent woman or some man is that as much as we're independent, like I'm so independent and I'm so like a Bosc person and like I love being like the man that I like his hype man. And I want him to do the best, like, amazing.

[00:37:38]

So I can stand behind him and, like, clap my hands and like, I'll get annoyed if he's not pushing himself and, like, into what he's doing, like, I'm into what I'm doing.

[00:37:46]

So it must be nice for you to be so passionate about what you're doing. And then you guys inspire each other to want to work harder and to be the best versions of yourselves.

[00:37:53]

Yes, but it's also so funny what I need, which I feel like you're similar. It's like I need someone who can, like, handle me and make fun of me and call me out on my shit like I need someone to like. We make fun of each other so much to each other's faces, like nonstop. And then I like, heard him on a podcast this morning and he was just like, she's so awesome and so great. Like we were literally just like just tear each other apart.

[00:38:15]

But that's like our personality. But then we'll have our moments where we're sweet. But like I thought that I needed a guy who wasn't as funny so I could be funny all the time. But like, I'm sick of hearing myself talk and it's fun to be like the star of your show with a guy for like two months. And then I'm like, can you bring something to the table?

[00:38:31]

OK, so speaking of earlier, we're talking about fan did asking about STDs. And this is I love her. You're laughing sunglasses really quick. Have you ever gone? And I said yes. Tell me about it. I like don't have that many one night stands, but I. Your girl did this one date. I got like so drunk I was like dancing at the bar like no one else was dancing, like just me dancing on him, fell asleep in the cab on his lap, had like two minutes of sex with him next day, like when he was like this like lacrosse player, which is like, oh, it's like a northeast type thing except stay away from them.

[00:39:11]

And then I found out that another guy I was talking to at the time called me. It was like my PE stings. And I was like, who did you have sex with? And he's like, you.

[00:39:19]

And I'm like, who else? And he's like, just you.

[00:39:22]

And I was like, one. And then I realized I had chlamydia, but like, I had no symptoms. Turns out you just have to go to the doctor, get a pill and that's it. Like I just got pill. So like I want to destigmatize chlamydia as like, oh, it's disgusting. It's terrible. Like everyone can get it. But also like the scary thing is, like I can easily gotten herpes and that's like way more serious and like more stigmatized.

[00:39:44]

But yeah, I've had chlamydia. What's up.

[00:39:47]

Did you know that 80 percent, 70 to 80 percent of people in big cities now get some type of herpes?

[00:39:54]

Wow. That's wild. Yeah.

[00:39:57]

So sometimes people just don't admit that they have some type of strain of herpes. But it's I think it's like I feel like I never realized how important it is to destigmatize.

[00:40:06]

It was somebody, a fan recently signed Cymbidiums and she asked me of advice about herpes. She said, I recently got herpes and and I was like, it's fine. And I'm like, it's not a big deal. I told her, but she goes, No, but it's genital herpes. It's not even the the mouth herpes or whatever. The one in your blood, it's genital herpes. So it's herpes type B or whatever it's called. And she goes, I don't know, I'm scared to date now and I don't know what I need to do because I don't know if I'm supposed to be upfront with you guys.

[00:40:35]

Tell them right away or if I'm supposed to wait. So what would your advice for her be?

[00:40:40]

A great question. I actually just had this girl named Erika Sparer on my podcast and the last two weeks who has herpes, she's a comedian and she informed me a lot about this. Treat it like it's anything that's private to you. Like first date. I'm not going to tell them about, like, the trauma my dad and I, like, went through something like Spicket, treat it like something that's intimate. So but also don't do it like right before sex when people aren't right.

[00:41:05]

And I think, Erica, she would just say it. And if she was just like, look, I had an I had trouble getting confidence in myself before herpes. And now I'm like, why would a guy date me? Want to take it to me? Plus herpes. Like, it's really emotional and scary, but it actually, I think will get you to be with the right people because the wrong guys will be grossed out or whatever.

[00:41:24]

Fuck them. But the right guys, like, sit down and be like before you have sex, be like I have herpes, like talk to like whoever your doctor, whatever about how to deal with it. If it's it's not a flare up right now. So like it's not going to be whatever, but like definitely informed them but like do it when you trust them and when you're comfortable with them talking about it. Like this is just what the girl told me and it's tough.

[00:41:47]

But like when more people have it than you think. Exactly.

[00:41:50]

That's so I love that advice. That's what I told her. I was like, I don't think you should tell it on the first day. Because you don't share everything. You're not going to give anyone anything, everything on the first day in place is going to be hard then to even want to get to know you at that point because it can freak someone out. She goes, but isn't that lying? And I was like, no, because even know you have that person's even interested in you, but don't tell them, like I said, the same thing.

[00:42:09]

Don't tell me right before you have sex. Say you went out a few times. You think you like him now it's now it's time to open up. So you tell him. You tell that person something. Yes. You're not lying. Exactly.

[00:42:19]

It's because first date you don't cover that shit. I don't tell you like my sex fetishes are like my like childhood like stories like we're just getting to know each other. Exactly.

[00:42:29]

Yeah. You're not like imagine me going on the first day and crying about my normal deficiency.

[00:42:33]

I was born with a birth defect that nobody will ever kiss kissing the guy you like.

[00:42:37]

Okay, because you are not herpes. He's trying to get to know you. And then when it comes to sex, then you figure that shit out and like be super like to the point informative about it. Not like emotional.

[00:42:48]

I think more people have it than we think. It's just the stigma behind, for example, one of my friends, she had a boyfriend for like nine months. And and I remember one day I just made some dumb joke about herpes because I was ignorant about that. And she was just like, it's not funny. And I'm like, why? What's not funny? And she goes, blah, blah, blah. Blank has genital herpes. And he never had an outbreak.

[00:43:08]

And we're still together. And it's just like you shouldn't put people down for something they literally can't control anymore. And I still love him and I'm still going to date. And I was just like down. So sorry was it was a joke. And now, like, I made jokes about chlamydia, but I can't do that either because you have chlamydia. So I guess they'll be syphilis. I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. These are more common, especially herpes, especially in big cities.

[00:43:33]

So people need to be aware of it. Everyone kind of has some type of a strain of herpes these days. Like even getting a cold sore is a type of herpes. Plus some people are some people can be born and get herpes without ever having sexual intercourse because they're one their mother had an outbreak during birth. So wild. It's pretty effing wild.

[00:43:53]

But I'm I would love like I'm happy we're talking about it because I want to I kind of want to make people feel more comfortable what they have. So definitely share with your partner. But wait a while now on the first date. And if you simplify it and you show how simple it is and it's not a big deal, the other person also think that don't be like, oh my God, I have that, like, you know, then they'll also think it's the worst thing.

[00:44:12]

But if you're not having a that it's probably not as big of a deal as you think it is because that other person might actually have it, too.

[00:44:18]

And I try to think big picture, like if a guy steps in you because you have herpes, that is not meant to be and that was not the right energy type person for you to be around.

[00:44:27]

Yeah, I mean, am I even dating right now? So I can't relate, but OK, so like you've had your, like, crazy moments and all that. What's the craziest drunk moment you've ever had.

[00:44:39]

Oh my God. Craziest drunk moment I did get, you know, on national television for two hours, but it got cut down.

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[00:45:59]

I was was a little too long for the show but I had like been flirting with this guy last season and summer house and he was like, just like a male model who's like put on this earth for people to have sex with him. And he was like playing these fucking games with me being like, I don't wanna have sex with you. I care about you too much. And I'm like, bitch, I don't care about you. I need your penis inside me.

[00:46:18]

And then finally, like, we got drunk one night and it happened and all of America heard it. And I think that female sexuality is important to show that women deserve to be a pleasure. And it was one of the more feminist things I've done.

[00:46:31]

Was that didn't make you come, I believe. Yes. But like, I don't you know, when you're like that drunk, like you don't really know. But I know I was loud and I know that as a Leo, I was performing.

[00:46:43]

I, like, turns me on for the guy to feel like he's turning me on, but like, I don't fake it, but I will over perform sometimes.

[00:46:53]

What's the craziest thing a man has ever done to get your attention or to impress you? Aside from going down on you for two hours on national TV.

[00:47:02]

Oh my God. The craziest thing a guy has done to get my attention. This is like just going to go back to the first crush I've ever had. And I still think it's the cutest thing a guy's ever done for me. Besides, the hot tub thing is my crush in kindergarten gave me a box of all his Pokemon cards like all of them do. Remember Pokemon like collecting that probably took him like three years and he gave me the box of all of them.

[00:47:28]

And I was just like, oh my God, thank you. And like, I don't know if a guy's done anything that's sweet up until this day, like a like a kindergartener's Pokemon cards.

[00:47:35]

It's like it's like someone's like entire net worth as an adult.

[00:47:39]

A guy one time wrote me a poem in high school, like a poem about how beautiful I am. And I thought it was the creepiest thing I've ever saw. And I stopped talking.

[00:47:48]

I was like, I would even go near him because it was like ninth grade, not realizing years later, how would I ever get a poem or just a nice good morning text from a guy, let alone like a poem. So I should have been thankful for it, but I did understand that that was meant to be romance.

[00:48:04]

Yeah, I feel like gifts are so lame. Like I don't even like flowers that much. I want something that's like an inside joke like actually does. Just got me this like cookie cold like eat me cookies. New York where it had like lyrics to the wop song on it. And I thought that was like that's more like funny. And Q And it's like fun for us.

[00:48:21]

I love like thoughtful gifts. I agree. Like I feel like at one point I was manifesting flowers so a lot of men were buying me flowers and our dates and I appreciate that. But also I don't really like flowers. I just didn't want to tell them. But I like the idea of it. Like I love the fact that somebody was actually taking the time to give me something that felt really nice. Yes.

[00:48:39]

But like, I definitely like it more when it's like a poem or something that I can like it show that he thought specifically of me. It couldn't have been just like any girl on that date, but like paying my rent.

[00:48:49]

It's like, wow, you're so thoughtful. Exactly.

[00:48:53]

Or like telling me how high my engagement is on Instagram. Like, that's what I want. Yeah. Or like, you know, buying me a house. Yeah. I'm just very focused on something specific right now for me. I think it's so romantic with someone just like pays my rent without asking for anything back, like the sordid mortgage, my mortgage, my work.

[00:49:13]

It's just so romantic. What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get a guy's attention? You're like in kindergarten. I give my the Pokémon cards to like the other guy.

[00:49:25]

Oh, I don't think it's funny. I have a very like method to my madness when it comes to, like, dating. And I talked about this when I went on, call her daddy, actually, but it was just like.

[00:49:36]

I play the long game like I want a guy to notice me and I will do it through, like at the bar, I will, like, talk to his, like, ugly friends, like get their attention then like walk away. And then I come back and, like, hit up the friend again and like eventually like be in a situation where like if he's into me, he will be jealous and be like, why isn't this girl talking to me?

[00:49:54]

Like I will take two hours at the bar to like orchestrate this, to get a guy to finally get the balls to, like, say something to me.

[00:50:01]

Oh, my God, that's such a legal move. I feel like Leo's have to be the center of attention. And I feel like a Leo has done Amelia's anatomy for where they're getting attention for one second. But then they're like they're always walking around different girls trying to get me jealous. But really what it does, I just like I left the party. I was like the work on me.

[00:50:19]

I will do that. But then, like, once we we like, do talk, then it's like we're Zonda and I'll talk to you for the rest of the night. But like I like I went back on my single days and back when we went to bars I would get bored. So I would like pick a guy that I was most into in the making my whole night about getting his attention in like the most creative way.

[00:50:38]

I'll talk about daddy issues. Tell me about your most embarrassing sex story. Oh, I farted on a guy when he was going down on me. I feel like that's like everyone's nightmare, but I feel like how have more people not done it? Like I feel like no one talks about it because I was like this guy was going down on me and like, I feel like when you're in that position where your legs are bent, it's like perfect fighting position.

[00:51:04]

And I was like, you know, when you're like trying for an orgasm, like, you just start push.

[00:51:09]

You're just pushing it randomly.

[00:51:11]

And I heard it on his face when a girl thought, you guys are listening or girls are listening, you can go about it to someone. You can kind of ignore it completely and just keep going. You're kind of like have a, like, laugh moment and keep going. Or you're just like this. Like, this is weird. We have to laugh.

[00:51:28]

Or you would completely like just quit and you're just like this has ruined the mood. We're done. And this guy, like, I farted and he was just like he this brash guy did you spot? And I was like, yes. And we started laughing. And then he didn't get hard for like the rest of the night.

[00:51:44]

Yeah, what were you OK? I am like such a sick comedian that I was just like, oh my God, I can't wait to tell this on every podcast and put it in my stand up routine. And it's going to be amazing.

[00:51:56]

And I did it in a stand up routine and he was in the room and I didn't know he was there. And I was like, oh, it happened to this guy.

[00:52:02]

And so it was like, he's here. And he was just laughing and like, we just have to normalize farting and like, farting, like so many times, like farting ruins my life of me, like not trying to fart during a meal, not trying to fart during cuddling, like not trying to fart during sex. It's like I just want to enjoy my life. I'm really weird when it comes to passing gas, but like I'm just going to open up about something in order to everyone to know even the most prissy girl, that's a perfectionist.

[00:52:29]

When I was younger and I was one of my boyfriends, he was like fingering me or something. So his face was in there that was fingering me or touching it. I forget whatever the fuck he was doing. And I feel like because, you know, when you're like, again, like it's something about you trying to get an orgasm or you're pushing. And I started on accident and then he said, what was that? Did you fart?

[00:52:49]

And my blank in my brain, I was like, still so embarrassed with sexuality in my body. So my brain, I was like, either run and block his number and ever speak to him again. But fuck, that's my house. I can't run because he's my parents' house right now.

[00:53:01]

But say I farted or see, say, a queef. I'm again super young, my experience with my body yet. So sexuality feels weird, even quitting is embarrassing. So then and I just want with like the least embarrassing thing I could think of. And I was just like, oh no, I queef. And he was like, OK. But I feel like we both knew I was lying.

[00:53:20]

I feel like just being like it was a queef is like the best way to go about it. And like, I've totally done it before.

[00:53:26]

But if his face is right there next to it, you're just like you can't pretend it's a queef. Like he knows which hole it came out.

[00:53:32]

He was up close and personal.

[00:53:34]

But, you know, they get a pink I think it's a poor guy is the same guy that I gave chlamydia to like like I was abused.

[00:53:42]

I mean, you gave him chlamydia. And I think I. Yeah, yeah.

[00:53:45]

And I found in his face like and he like, liked me more, which I think is like a lesson for all of us girls to learn. You just have to own it and laugh about it like and I always say like with girls, like trying to be perfect in a relationship, you know, when guys are like, I don't know, there's just something about her. That's when you're being your authentic self and like there's an X-Factor about you because you're being like weird and different.

[00:54:04]

But if you just act like every other perfect girl like Bill, never feel that X Factor.

[00:54:08]

That's so true. The X Factor is you being yourself. And just like they just happen to be in the room. And I think you're right. That's what ends up making the guys like you when you're just being yourself. I feel like whenever I've been the perfect girl when I was younger, it was like always chasing the men to love me. We've been going for the girl like, oh, she doesn't wear any makeup when she's around. I'm just like, how does she do that?

[00:54:28]

Like, don't you want to be the most beautiful girl every single time? And it's like, no, they love it when you just actually don't care about them as much.

[00:54:35]

And guys, I feel like when guys fall for you, like, then there's nothing you can do wrong, OK? I think everything you do is perfect. And it's like like I feel like guys fall harder than girls when they fall because girls like we fall over like anything because we just like like having emotions where guys when they do it's like, oh that's so true.

[00:54:52]

Yeah. Wait so if I would think oh yeah. I recently talked about this.

[00:54:56]

The most embarrassing thing that I've ever done for a guy, it's not even that embarrassing is just so funny is basically my boyfriend, my ex, my ex boyfriend Huslia we broke up and we're so extra resew extra. So in order for me to show him that I love them, I decided to show up at his house, his parents house, show up at his house unannounced, confessed my love to him in a sexy outfit so we can fuck. And so it was like two days after we broke up, I decided to show up at his house, get back together in a sexy outfit.

[00:55:26]

Luckily, it was black. And I'll tell you why. Luckily it was black because when I showed up at his house, there were other people there and he was like, What are you doing here? And I was just like, I love you. Like, we need to be together. And he's like, Do you not realize what day it is today? And I was like, it's Saturday. And he goes, It's my dad's one year memorial.

[00:55:43]

So I could just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry for your loss, then everyone saw me there, my sexy outfit, it was really awkward, but I feel like he's such a prick that I feel like we will always fuck with each other. Sometimes I feel like he purposely because I had to go to temple with them in my sexy outfit. I went to a religious temple with them. It's like super religious Persian temple, Persian Jewish temple, where the women, the men are divided.

[00:56:10]

So I had to go my sexy outfit to temple with him and his mother and I sat with his mother for three hours at Temple and I feel like he did not to fuck with me because I had no choice but to just be there.

[00:56:22]

That is so fucked up. But it's an amazing story. That's an amazing story. Yeah.

[00:56:29]

So I guess that's the most embarrassing, craziest thing I've done to get a guy's attention.

[00:56:34]

That's epic.

[00:56:36]

Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry for your loss. Are we so fucking later.

[00:56:39]

Will you fuck me. I'm sorry about your father now. Not fuck that day.

[00:56:44]

Like when everything was over I had to go home so it was really awkward.

[00:56:48]

Oh God. And burned that laundry. Yeah.

[00:56:51]

I guess for whatever reason he was in the mood. Super weird. What's the lowest expectation you've ever set for a man.

[00:56:59]

Oh, once I dated a guy who lived with his parents and he was thirty and after like two weeks he called me, he was like, hey, I don't think this is going to work. And I was like, I wasn't actually trying to date you.

[00:57:12]

And it was like one of those moments in my life. And I started crying. I was at my grandparents place and they and they were like, Are you OK? And I was just like, I don't know what's happening with my life. Like, it was a dark moment for me.

[00:57:23]

It's like this guy doesn't want me. Yeah. Like literally I was like, bro, like I wouldn't ever date you. And you have the nerve to try to tell me you won't date me. Don't try to fuck with me like that.

[00:57:33]

You're just like I just think I can do better than you. So I think we should break up. It's literally like what he said and I was like, oh my God, I'm getting rejected by people. I like that it was so bad that my dad make fun of me. And I was like, he'd always be like, hey, does this guy like have a job? Does he live with his parents? Like every guy dated for like two years.

[00:57:50]

So when you guys have recently dated, still lived at home, did I have a job? And they were like in their thirties. Yeah. And then I remember I'd be like, you're like that guy that I did the pros and cons list, the cons were just like he lives at home, doesn't have a job, ex drug addict.

[00:58:03]

I'm like, he's an artist. I mean that I wrote where it's like he lives with his parents. But the place is a mansion, so. And it's in Connecticut. Yeah.

[00:58:13]

Those are the guys I was dating to. But then I was like, yeah, it's their parents money. Like one day this guy was on the phone with his parents and he was just like, no, mom, I don't need that much money to Mexico. That's too much. And I was just like, that's my baby, like in my house that I'm paying a mortgage on. He's just like, no, mom, I don't need that much money.

[00:58:27]

And I was like, I love that guy. He's the one. And then he told me, you're not the person is.

[00:58:32]

But then I joke that it's like the poor guys that like, fuck, like they need a place to stay that night and there's like something endearing about it.

[00:58:40]

That's so true. The poor guys actually need your housing fuck. Like there's no tomorrow and they work for so good at eating pussy. Oh that's because that's his way of paying for rent. Like I just realized that.

[00:58:55]

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Better help is an affordable option. Our listeners get ten percent off of your first month with the discount code too tired. So again, use my discount code to try for 10 percent off of your first month. But when you use better help online counseling, so gets out today. A better HELOC dot com slash too tired t o t. I already so talk to a therapist online today and get the help that you need. I love you.

[01:00:34]

What are some fears that you have about relationships during dating?

[01:00:39]

I think my biggest fear is just losing myself, but. Are you dating someone is to, like, enhance you, but to get to that point, you have to give yourself in it. And if someone doesn't, like, treat you right, your mental health can really go downhill. So, like, it's giving someone your heart and your mind and trusting them with it. So, like, my biggest fear is just like me being in a worse position than I was when I started dating someone.

[01:01:03]

Like I love being single because at least I'm in control of my own mind.

[01:01:06]

So you just want to make sure you never lose yourself in the relationship. That's when you know, that's when you're like, oh, my God, something's wrong. Exactly.

[01:01:14]

Yeah. When you stop feeling like yourself, are you have more fun with your friends than your guy. Yeah. Or you have no friends anymore because you're dating this guy. Nailed it. What's the most embarrassing drunk text you've ever or send someone?

[01:01:26]

I feel like I've done that thing where I've drunk texting myself or been like, hey, where are you?

[01:01:31]

And then I've been like on my way, hey, where are you?

[01:01:38]

And then, like, you check your dogs are like eating Chinese food. And then you're like, I just answered myself, but I really try not to drunk text ever. Like when I'm drinking, I lose stuff very easily. So once I get drunk, I'm like, phone in there, zip it up. Don't touch it.

[01:01:51]

Have you ever had that super crazy drunk night that you wake up in your clothes with your purse and your shoes? I happened to me before.

[01:01:59]

I feel like I'm psychotic and I love showering at night. So, like, no matter how black I am, like I take my clothes off and I shower.

[01:02:06]

Really. Yeah. Misako because I love being like clean in bed for some reason. Like I hate being dirty in bed.

[01:02:12]

It's so funny when you, when you add psycho with something that's actually really good for, you're like yeah I'm such a psycho. Like I drink like water like a water bottles of water and like I work out every single day and I make sure to wake up at 6am to workout and then like I meditate and I make sure I take care of my mental health.

[01:02:26]

Like I'm such a fucking psycho for that, because my Scorpio, my Scorpio friend Page makes fun of me every night because we would like live together and I get home and she'd be like passed out with her purse. And then I'd be like taking my makeup off showering. She's like, you're fucking psycho.

[01:02:40]

And I go, You're Scorpio and you're being mean that we are Scorpio's.

[01:02:50]

I do think, like you should date someone that's like people were like, oh, did someone like your dad or whatever, but like, no, you should date someone who's, like, your best friend or like the parent that you get along with best. That's really interesting, I mean, I'm not really dating right now, so I wouldn't know, I mean, I don't want to I like also over things like I feel like I feel like this is like marriage or dating happens.

[01:03:10]

I feel like I'm at a point where Kwanten completely beat me down and to the point that nothing matters anymore, like I'm allergic to bees. And yesterday I was sitting on my balcony and I see a tree filled with bees on my balcony. And I just said, Huh? All right. And I didn't move. I was like, I'm not moving. I don't care anymore. Nothing.

[01:03:28]

Finally, the murder hornets just end it now. I just didn't care. And before that, earlier that morning, this all happened yesterday before I saw the bees who were just sitting chilling next to me. Before that, I saw a spider and I freaked out and I slipped on what floor when I saw the spider and I fell on my chin and I started bleeding. That was like the morning of yesterday. But I was like, that's fine. And I just laughed about it, you know, laughed it off.

[01:03:50]

But I feel like you have to hit a point where nothing matters. And that's when a guy hits you up and he's like, do you want to go to dinner? And maybe a guy that you didn't consider before at this point, you're just like nothing nice. And I'm just like, OK, yeah, we should do dinner. And I feel like that's probably going to end up being my husband because I finally got knocked down so much. Yes.

[01:04:10]

That I'm like, OK to try a type of way or force anything.

[01:04:14]

You just have no energy left and that's when the guy comes like people like it's when you least expect it. No, it's when you've given up nearly.

[01:04:21]

Exactly. It's like when you give up. He came in, he's like, do you have dinner? And I was like, yeah, we should, we should have dinner.

[01:04:28]

That was like the universe has finally like been like, OK, you've learned all your lessons. You don't have any hope anymore given up on love.

[01:04:36]

It just nothing matters. And they come around, they're just like qrl I could eat and then that's your husband. Yeah.

[01:04:43]

That's how it happened with does not that I don't, I don't know the future holds but it was like I was not trying to date anyone who was quarantined. I was literally scared to kiss him, but I was like I'll go. And then you had raw sex with him. One hundred percent I did. Sorry, Mom. So, Hannah. Yes. Is there anything you feel like I didn't ask you?

[01:05:01]

I mean, I feel like between the podcast, this podcast and you coming up, burning in how we have covered everything and literally have we've spent an hour and a half together. No. Two and a half hours together. And I love you.

[01:05:17]

And I just feel so connected to you right now as my Scorpio Queen.

[01:05:20]

I feel so connected to you as well, my little queen. Where can people find you? Follow me at being Bern's being GPE princess. I feel like you've reposted one of my tweets before and like, made my life maybe like once or twice and I'm like, oh my God. To know that Violet enjoyed that makes me so happy.

[01:05:36]

Now I think it's hilarious. I was holy of how funny you are. Look, I know I know someone's like talented. I know once I know someone's talented and as real talent is actually funny, if I even have a smidge of jealousy towards them because I tell you that they're unique. No, I'm serious because it's very rare for me. So if I feel any type of jealousy towards someone, which of course, right away I'll wipe out because I'm like, what am I jealous of?

[01:05:59]

And I have to have a conversation with myself. With the minute I feel that, then I'm like, Oh, that person's special. They're very talented.

[01:06:05]

That makes me feel so good because you are like such a like me am queen and you like her are such like one of the first like people who created like the Sigismund pages. And I like from the very beginning you were one that I followed and I never even thought that I could write a tweet. So like to have you say you like them means a lot to me seop. You follow me being burned and listen to violence episode. I'm burning in hell.

[01:06:28]

She was so open, so honest, so vulnerable B-R and where I talk to people about their demons. Yeah. Yes.

[01:06:38]

OK, so check out her tweets, check out her Instagram DMI if you have any questions for her, and then check out her podcast and our episode together, which is on today.

[01:06:47]

Yes. Can't wait. OK, all you guys, thank you so much for listening to another episode. Too tired to be crazy. I'll see you again next week. I love you guys and take care of your mental health.

[01:06:58]

And, you know, pray for me that someone will love that I finally have a boyfriend. Pray for me. I'm getting.

[01:07:08]

Oh, you don't need a button to pray for me. Recoilless.