I actually like you and I have friends who already fucked the guy that I'm interested in. That's crazy. I know no one else likes it except me. I don't mind. I don't mind if one of my friends will test drive a guy before I just so that I know what I'm dealing with.
I'm Al Ben. Welcome to another episode of Tea Time to Be Crazy on every Thursday with me. So today, my guest, his name is Kevin. So scared to say your last name because I feel like I never pronounce the right people. Get mad at me.
It's not that hard of a last name. Clancy. Clancy. Clancy. And and so close. So close. We got it. It's all good.
OK, so you're from barstool sports before that. Apparently you have a degree in accounting. So hello, fellow accountants. I know I didn't know that the boxing guys just filled me in on that. I worked at an accounting firm. I didn't have an accounting degree, probably why I wasn't any fucking good at it. Yeah, out of school, I was doing like some finance stuff and I got my MBA and I was miserable and bad at it.
And then I kind of fell into the blogging thing and now I'm here.
Well, I also didn't finish my CPA, so I have a degree in accounting, but like I talk to CPA exams and then I became daddy issues. So then I didn't finish the last two days, like, see you fucking later.
There is no way if I even had a smidge of the success you had on Instagram, like no chance I would finish up that CPA.
No, it's funny because I remember the last thing the partner like he was like my mentor at the company. He told me the last thing he said was, don't do it, do not leave. You're making a mistake making one of the biggest mistakes. And literally that year, I made three times more of my salary and the following year I made more than him.
Yeah, I mean, you got to be kidding me. I guess if you if you don't know the Internet from, like, the old school where it's like just get a steady paycheck. This is a good gig. But I mean, you exploded on Instagram. There's no way you're going to be an accountant. I never like exploded like that. But as soon as I as soon as I knew that I could make like close to the same money I was making as an accountant, I was gone.
I took a pay cut to go back to Basel. But I was like, it's close enough and I'll be doing what I like. So.
Well, no, I mean, you have a few popular podcast. I got a thousand.
I got KFC radio. Yeah, that's the main one. I've got mail time that I do with my brother. I've got a Mets podcast where we talk baseball. I do a serious show every day. I do Instagram shows.
I love your Instagram show. So it's the one minute man. Yeah. Thank you. That's that's pretty new. We started that like a couple of years ago when Facebook was still like big and we were putting them on Facebook. Then they changed their algorithm and I got busy with other shit and I stopped. And then we kind of revived it during quarantine when Instagram started looking for more original content. And they've been blowing up ever since. So something that I've been doing for a few years, but really leading into in the past six months.
Was your one man and man title inspired by your sex life?
Oh, yeah, big time. Listen, I'm on this trip right now. I think that long lasting sex is for the birds.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
When it's taking too long, I'm like I can I just come, please? Like, I don't even want to do this anymore. Like, I don't want it to be one minute. Obviously you got to get the job done. But then once everyone's satisfied, I'm like, come on, let's get back to TV, eat dinner.
I got shit to do once better morning sex or night sex.
I think night sex is actually better sex like morning sex for me is like we're going to like spoon and I'm just going to like put it in and whatever. Like, do you expect to come during morning sex as a chick?
I mean, these days I feel like I never expect to come any more vacations with men when it comes to sex.
Do you know what I mean? Like night sex. Like I'm put in work. We're doing foreplay. I'm I'm going to touch Rob and do everything I need to do. Morning sex is like this is just something fun to do before we start our day.
That's how I think of it. Maybe I shouldn't think of it that way.
I guess I feel like also wanting sex. I think maybe guys like the more for me personally, I prefer a nice guy. I do know a lot of guys who like the morning sex and yeah. For that, like I guess maybe I wouldn't expect to come in.
It's more like just sit with me. Yeah. Maybe I'm also I'm thirty six now. Maybe when I was a younger man I'm up and Adam I'm ready to fuck but in the morning I'm like I'm tired man. Yeah.
But not too tired to fuck now. Never coming back to make her come right.
Right to it. Like I'm too tired to like really put in some work. I'm not tired enough to just like roll over and fool around.
I've noticed you have a lot of opinions about celebrities getting political. So what are your thoughts about that? I mean, I'm sick of it, really.
Like, I think there's very, very few people in the world, in the world that are like informed enough and educated enough and know what the fuck they're talking about to the point that they should be speaking on politics. I'm like serious issues, myself included. Like, I don't I don't think I'm anybody who should be talking. And so then when I see, like, celebrities, actors take talkers like children and people who don't have life experience, people who don't have the education, people who are not like up to date on the on the info, I'm like, listen, I don't need to hear from you and I certainly don't need you to tell me what to do.
I want to make a video and put out your opinion. So be it. I do that all the time, but telling me, like, who to vote for or what to do or how to feel on issues like the fuck out of here, is there one celebrity that you would listen to?
Yeah, I mean, there are I'm trying to think like who comes to mind? There are people who I value their opinion. There's a comic, Tim Dillon, who is from New York, who I listen to, who I know is very informed, but I would never be like. What to think, and then I'll do it. You know, I still always kind of come up with my own opinions. I really do. As I'm getting older, I do really believe that the older you get kind of older, wiser, and you kind of do maybe you're not smarter, but you've just seen more shit and gone through more stuff, you know.
I think it's very easy to be like idealistic and progressive and and all that shit when you're younger until you start making some money or having some bills to pay and a family and yada, yada. So the a short list of people I would like listen to, but nobody that I would just let make my opinion for me.
I'll tell you what actually does bother me. It's one thing because a lot of people think that supposedly celebrities should get involved, especially right now, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I understand the point of view, but the one thing that bothers me the most that I even spoke out about is the fact that people are very unaware.
The influences of celebrities have been approached to get paid to vote for specific campaign.
And people don't even realize not only is that unethical, it's also illegal. So that's the only thing that pissed me off recently because I was like, excuse me, you're not just saying, but it was telling people to vote for a specific candidate.
Then you better write in your caption that this is a paid sponsorship, because I know for a fact it's paid. Why? Because I've been approached by by the same party as well to promote.
And I said, how much how much money did you get offered? Honestly, when it comes to political stuff like including when that one billionaire was running, was trying to run for office or whatever, he hired thugs, Jerry positive for him, and like other places, like they were trying to offer like minimum like 20 k propose, like they offer pretty good money when it comes to you promoting a specific campaign. I want to put this out there.
I am for sale. I'll be like, hey, vote everybody in the next public vote for Trump. Just fucking pay me the money.
I don't care. Let's go. I would never pretend that it wasn't being paid.
Like you said, I put in there like a stag ad, but. But yeah, like, let's make that money, honey.
Like, what are your thoughts when Tanne Monga, when she posted that she was going to send people like a picture of her nudes are like a picture of a butthole or something.
If people took a picture which again, illegal illegal use of their ballot, that they're going to over something they're voting for that they voted for Biden. She thought she was so cool for that. And she wrote that, oh, well, ten thousand people already signed up or voted for Biden and now the FBI is after her.
I know it's madness like it's madness when you think of that, that she was just like, oh, I'm so hot. I'm like influence and shit. It's like, well, now now you got the feds on your case. Just stay out of it. And I get it. I know people say like, well, you have a platform and you should use it for what's good.
It's like, who says who says that? You know, are you here to entertain? Are you to make people laugh? Are you here for sex? Use your platform, what you use your platform for. You don't have to do anything. You know, I 100 percent agree with that.
Like I'm Jewish. And I posted about anti-Semitism on just one podcast. And then I posted two videos about it from my whole like Instagram. And even with that, people already got annoyed. They're like, oh my God, again, about this Jewish stuff. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, my mouth.
I understand a lot. So, yeah, I mean, I got pulled in. I try to stay out of it, but when it got to like a fever pitch where it was like, you can't even be joking around about anything else. Like back in May, I think it was one George Floyd was really like taking over the news. You know, I put out what I thought was like a pretty middle of the road take. Like, I don't think we should police should be killing people, but also we shouldn't be like rioting.
And it was like everybody hated me from every which angle.
And I was like, you know what? What do this anymore. I'm not smart enough. I'm not informed enough. Everybody hates when I do it. I'm not going to do it. And people were telling me, you know, you have an obligation. I was like, fuck off. No, I don't. I have an obligation to nobody. But like myself and my family and the bills I got to pay, that's it.
Let's talk about bar stool. What is a cultural icon bar stool at this point, it's like a full blown media company, which is wild. I mean, we started out just a handful of us, Dave Portnoy, like pizza reviews and everything else. Now, he started like twenty years ago. I've been in it for about eleven. And now I mean, it's like several hundred people, a couple hundred on the business side, a couple hundred making content.
It was originally kind of just like a men's lifestyle brand, like started out with sports. But then it just kind of morphed into like pop culture and humor, girls, viral videos, all that shit. And now we've got everything from like podcasts about like the military and the government down to celebrity gossip.
We got guys talking sex, girls talking sex, sports, culture, everything in between, ranging from ages of like eighteen to like we got like a couple of guys who are in their fifties. So I mean, we cover basically all the life at this point. And our fan base is the same thing. We range from kids all the way up to old men at this point. So I got full blown media lifestyle.
I guess it's like a very bro environment. No, you know, it's funny. That's like our reputation. Our stereotype is like frat boys and like, I don't think any of us were in frats. Yeah. I'm trying to think like and anybody who was was just like in it but weren't like, you know, hazing people and doing crazy shit.
When you think about it, we're all like Internet nerds. We're all out here, like, worried about our followers and our engagement and our visibility. We're streaming on Twitch and. Games and all that kind of shit, so if anything, I think we're all kind of nerdy, but I guess, you know, stereotypically speaking, you would call us like Broza, I guess.
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I didn't know this was a thing, but apparently KFC has the twenty seventh berry, so KFC says I can't see believes that every person goes through the existential crisis of twenty seven when they realize they need to get their shit together, which I think is really interesting. I thought it's like twenty five and then thirty. But you think it's twenty seven. So like what advice do you have for people before they're twenty seven then.
Advice is tough because I mean I'm now I think I'm going through another one, I'm almost thirty six or thirty five now it's happening again. So maybe it's just kind of like a seven year cycle or something. Up until through college you basically all do the same thing, you're all in the same place and then you get out of college and some people are rock stars and go on to like make a zillion dollars. And some people don't have jobs and some people are kind of lost in the middle.
And it's the first time you don't have like an end in sight. Like when you go to high school in four years, you graduate, you go to college. I got to get through four years. I graduated. Then when you're twenty two, twenty three, it's just open, you know what I mean? It's just like you do this forever and when you hit around like twenty six, twenty seven that's like another four years that have gone by where ordinarily you would have another chapter beginning, but there's no new chapter.
It's just like whatever you've been up to. And when I was twenty seven I reached a point where I was like I was single and find anybody my job at that point I was like still doing accounting, but I was an accountant. Nobody knew I was blogging for barstool and I was blogging for Passo. But none of the readers knew that I was an accountant. So I was like doubling. I was like juggling this double life. But I, I wasn't happy at at my accounting job and I didn't think barstool was ever going to be this big.
And I just didn't I had no hobbies. I just went out, I drank, I went to restaurants, I tried to fuck people. And I just do it over and over and over again, you know? And I was like, is this is this just how it goes? I was just basically like, what do you do?
And people were like, oh, you get a hobby, you like you paint or you like pick up an instrument. And I was like, I don't want to do that shit, you know? So I never really figured it out. I just kind of kept this kind of kept on going. I eventually did find somebody, got married, had some kids. The marriage didn't work out. I just kept doing that barstool, like, did blow up.
So like, at least for me, my career kind of like came into focus. But I think you got to just like, keep your head down and keep doing it. And I think what was what was comforting for me was I wrote a blog about it where I was like, I'm having a mental breakdown. And so many people were like, me too. I'm twenty six. I'm forty seven, I'm twenty eight. So I was like, all right, this is normal.
So I just got to ride this out. And it was like I wasn't having fun, you know, I was still like partying and shit. I wasn't like truly depressed. I didn't have like mental health issues. I was just like, what the fuck do I do? So I think knowing that everyone else goes through it to allowed me to just keep on, like, drifting through life, trying to figure it out as we go.
So at what age do you think then stop trying to just fuck around and to actually keep fucking the same woman over and over again?
I love how you describe it as keep fucking the same woman over and over. I don't know if I can really even give you advice on that. I met my now ex wife when I was like twenty, probably twenty eight or twenty nine. So like shortly after that breakdown, I definitely just followed the path. I fell in love with her and we did work, but I was kind of like, OK, I met her married. I'm twenty seven.
We date for a couple of years now. I'm almost thirty. It's time to get the ring then we'll get married when I'm thirty one thirty two. We have kids because that's just how you're supposed to do it. You know, like traditionally speaking for some people that works or some people if you're from a small town or you have limited options or whatever, maybe that works for me. I think I wish that I realized that our school was turning into something bigger than I ever imagined.
And I and I wanted to focus on that. I should have taken more time. I kind of just rush into things based on what your quote unquote supposed to do. I think you have to wait for a man to have a breakdown before he's ready for something like look out for that waste of time to have a breakdown, and then he's going to pop the question.
You don't want to characterize it as a breakdown, but you're not wrong when you have that realization of, like, I don't want to just keep partying. I don't want to just always have a new person in my bed. You are looking for something a little bit more. I don't know. I've learned that, like, the grass is always greener for me. Meaning like when I was single, I wanted somebody when I when I was with somebody and had some of the restrictions of that lifestyle, I was like, oh my God, I wish I was just alone.
I think when you find someone who is like, this is the grass, this is green, I'm good. That's that's when you're going to be truly happy. But I guess around 30 is when, like, it traditionally starts whether or not that's right. But I think like late 20s, thirty is when you start to be like, all right, I've been doing this for like ten years.
Like enough. Yeah, I agree with you. I think around 30 these days is when men kind of have started to have their shit together a little more. And that's usually more when they're ready for something. I want to do, like Cuoco rapid questions with you. It's like all the stuff that I want to know about men, and I'm going to hit you just with the totally unfiltered, just the real answer.
No judgment. I'm not saying this is right. I'm not saying this is how it should be, blah. I'm just going to hit you with what my self and what I know a lot of guys probably agree with me, think and feel No.
One. Is it important to have a whole phase in your life? Are you speaking for guys and girls? Just girls? Yeah. You know, I don't even know why I ask that for both people. Absolutely.
I know for guys, at least for a lot of guys. I feel like you could fuck five girls and you want to fuck a six and you can fuck one hundred and five girls and you want to fuck one hundred and six. I think there is just some element of like we always want more, but I think the more you can get out of it the same way I said, you know, for ten years I've been partying and running around.
It's time to settle down. I think the more you do that and really do it and like, think about it and be like, all right, I'm doing this on purpose so that I can, like, get it out. I think you should almost, like, intentionally go belly up. Yes, I, I do think that you got to give me your answer.
Do you. One hundred percent men and women actually find a more attractive for me personally, but I'm kind of weird than some other girls of certain things.
Like I find it more attractive when a guy has fucked like one hundred girls are more really because you like her out with a lot of chicks like him.
Even if a guy has left over one hundred girls, he may still be bad in bed. I've learned that the hard way because it just be like in and out, in and out. So there's always been good, but I just think it's more attractive. It's hopefully like he got out of his way. Like I actually prefer one two guys had like threesomes and gangbangs and all that. I'm like, great baby. Like get out of the way.
Because you said I think that's that's very mature of you because as much as I think you should have a whole phase, I don't want to hear about it. You don't need to tell me. I don't want to know your number. You guys live out there?
No. Yeah, definitely, I, I think it probably depends on who you're talking to. I think if you're talking to a girl, you're trying to maybe impress or like put off a vibe, you might lie up. I think when you're younger and you're talking to other guys, you'll lie up if you know you like a girl and she's like a little bit more conservative. And if you say that you fucked one hundred girls, you're going to be in trouble.
Maybe you lie down. I think it's nuts to ask the question.
I actually love this thing, which all my friends think it's so fucking weird about me. And so I said, look, all the girls are like, I'm not like other girls and so like different. But there is this one specific thing for whatever reason makes me laugh and turns me on is I actually like you and I have friends who already fucked the guy that I'm interested in.
That's crazy how no one else likes it except me.
I don't mind. I don't mind if one of my friends will test drive a guy before I just. So then I know what I'm dealing with. All right. But what if that guy is like, oh my God, your best friend is like the best I've ever had?
No, I don't want him to ever say that to me. No, I'm not asking him. That's my problem. Is that so I have one friend that we both grew up with, the same girl, and I always, like, bust his balls being like, you know, I heard you were terrible in bed and I'm better than you and all that, but I never actually found out. Like, if that girl told me, like, oh, he's so much better than you, I would have been like, fuck.
So I don't think I even want to go down that road because eventually I'm going to want to know the answer.
OK, so I guess that's my next question. Does it actually bother men if women are Homy hoppers?
Yeah, I think so. In the beginning, when I'm first talking to someone, if you're talking about sex, I will probably be turned on and I'll think it's hot if you're telling me, like, crazy shit you've done and like you're sexting and you we're talking about it and it's like, oh, damn, this girl's a freak.
But unfortunately, then if we, like, progressed past that and I like you now, I'm like, I wish I could, like, erase all that from my head. I mean, I'm not going to hold it against I would never stop seeing a girl or anything crazy like that. But it is like I want you to be like great in bed, a freak experience without ever having been with other guys, which I know is impossible.
Annoying dream. They want to fuck everyone else, but they want you to be like a good churchgoing woman, but then like a freaking bad, but then like also freak sometimes on the streets, but then keep your mouth shut and then like everything and then also allow them to flirt with what's so hot. What's so hard about it? I like like a girlfriend slut, like someone who's got a slut it up for you only.
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OK, what's the first thing about a woman that grabs your attention. Our ass.
OK, what about now physically and by the way, physically like you got to be pretty but then you're not physically. I would say I like friendly girls so outgoing. I like smart girls too. So I guess, I guess the first thing that would jump out at me is like if I, if you introduce me to someone at a bar, I would be paying attention to like what she talks about or what she brings up or how she chimes in.
Like if it's just empty and not like you have to bring up, like, politics and fucking the environment or something. Ah. You can like hang and actually contribute to the conversation and like you ask questions and you're actually intriguing and all that.
So I guess like being interesting. What do you consider about flag jealousy issues?
OK, even though you say you get jealous, it's a red flag, a girl. And so I think that there's a healthy dose of jealousy which comes across as like, oh, you, yeah, you like me and you want me to yourself or like again, I don't want to come across as like possessive at all.
Not very much like go do your own thing, but like I like you, you know, and I want you to talk to me and I want to take you from you. I want you to want to touch me. I think the minute that I'm starting to see, like, actual issues, checking up on where you're going and who you're with and social media shit like who are you following and who are you liking?
I don't like that I've had problems with that.
What's your favorite red flag to ignore jealousy issues I do believe in so far and some of my experience hotter and the better in bed, the crazier the crazy hot matrix has played out. True for me a lot. That's a red flag that I am going to plow through every single time. That's really funny.
I mean, it's silly, but it's kind of true.
I think it's more about women think and I'm trying to teach them how the women think it's all about looks and like if you're really high, you can get away with anything. But it's really not. Looks are subjective. So to one guy, you can be the hottest girl ever. To another guy you may not. So I think if anything, it's all about your confidence in how you carry yourself that makes you the sexiest. And then in my opinion, the more guy likes you, the more you can get away with stuff.
That's really what it is. Says men think it's like a hotter shit is.
It's actually because you like her so much, you think she's so hot, hotter than she is, and then she can get away with anything. Definitely.
And I would say that, like, as much as looks are subjective, like just being great in bed is kind of universal if you can throw down.
But that's also subjected to a lot of men, like not every guy wants to get shelved or like being up in bed or like if I bit on me in the face, like, well, you're right, but a lot of them are going to be dealt with.
It doesn't matter if a girl wants to have sex with you. Do you judge her on it? No, I think it's kind of annoying or like stupid if you have a reason. OK, I'll respect your wishes. I mean, I'll always respect your wishes. But like, if you're just holding out to hold out because you have some arbitrary number in your head, I find that, like, annoying. I guess that's like a turnoff. If you want something and it's all good and everything else is fine, you're just like counting the days and like hexing off days on a calendar.
I'm kind of like, this is stupid. There's a real reason behind it or you need to really feel comfortable. But if you're truly just doing it because of like what movies tell you or what you've heard other people say, I think that's pretty stupid. I've had girls I've had sex with on the first night. I've had girls that have waited and I'm cool with all of it.
And you still dated both of them.
Dated is a funny word these days. But like, I have continued to see both people. Yes. And it didn't lead to anything. So regardless if they wait or they didn't wait, you still didn't put a ring on it. So it doesn't matter.
What about just about the whole.
Put a ring on it thing is crazy, though, because if you think about it, ninety nine point nine percent of relationships you get into are going to end. The thought is that one is supposed to last just because something is going to end or I didn't put a ring on it doesn't mean that it was like a total waste of time. Do you men play games? Oh, yeah, I knew it.
I knew it. Everybody plays games.
Listen, playing games is life. That's life. You play games at work. You play games with guys and girls. You play games with friends. The whole world is a fucking game to be played. I think anybody who says that they're always being straight up or totally being honest is either lying or they're fucking kind of crazy. I think it's nuts. Nuts, to be totally honest about every single thing. That's crazy.
So what are some games? I mean, players are just like pretending they like a girl less than they really do.
I can only speak for myself. I don't intentionally play games, but I can absolutely see where it gets construed that way because I will one hundred percent be really into a girl and I think I'm really into her and everything is good. And we're talking and it's more it seems like it's going to be something. And then we hook up, we have sex. I hang out a little bit and like my feelings change. I really didn't think it was going to happen.
I didn't expect it. I didn't want it to, but it just did. So what I've learned now, I'm getting old enough to like, no, that's a personality trait of mine. So I, like, stopped myself before I can even do that to someone. I think what playing a game is, is almost like if I just continually do that to people knowing that, like I feel one way, but in a matter of time I'm going to just like flip a switch if I just keep going down that same road.
I think that's like playing games. But I do really, really honestly, I honestly believe this, that I know girls probably don't believe it, but I think that a lot of times we are into it and we want it. And then your feelings change.
So when I asked if a woman should wait to have sex with a man or nine, you're like, oh, no, blah, blah. You literally just confirmed that a woman should until you have a connection with the man you normally don't put out, because if you put out, the feelings may change because you actually did not have the foundation you originally thought you had.
You know, you're not wrong. But I think, like, if you put out on the first night, it might happen. You could put out on the fifth date. It might happen. It can always happen at any time.
So let me put this on you, honey. Why don't you fuck him right away and then if he's not interested, then you didn't waste your time. And if he stays interested after fucking you, then proceed.
First of all, I want to fuck a guy right away because I don't think he deserves all of my body right away. Like, I don't fucking know. I'm like that.
That is your decision. I'm totally respectful of that. I'm just saying the whole like you might lose interest after can happen early. It can happen later. So if you have experience where waiting has worked more for you, you do that. But I think it's just silly when you're waiting for the sake of like you have to date right now.
I'm not saying you have to wait three months before it doesn't matter when you fuck him. I'm saying you have to wait to kind of figure out for us, do I even like him like that? The guy is even worthy for me to date him and vice versa. Like, are we even a good match? Do we have good banter, all that stuff before you sleep with him? Because for women, after they sleep with the man, you get so blurry in your head that's happened to me.
And suddenly you're just like, yeah, we should date. Like, I want him to date me now.
So to me, we could do that three months we're talking. We like everything was good, everything else is great. And then we hook up and like, I don't know, the sex isn't that good or something that gives afterwards. And now we have this like three month connection that is pretty good.
Otherwise, trust me, when you have a foundation with the person, the sex is so much better. But I'm not saying like wait till marriage because then yeah. What if you're not sexually compatible and the like. Are you fucking kidding me. This sucks like one hundred percent. So that's I'm not saying like wait forever but wait a little bit to build that foundation and see if you're compatible before you have sex.
Once you have sex, trust me, 99 percent of the time the man is not going to lose interest with you right away. And he's going to be like, I don't know what happened because you already built a strong enough foundation.
I'm with that. So I think the answer would probably be like it's by not a bad idea to wait a little longer. If you want to fall, just use it as one way.
You think of it as like you don't deserve this or like it's a very special thing. Sometimes I think we put too much into it. It's just this weird thing that we do with body parts that we have decided is like so important. If you're down to just like throw it around.
Go ahead. If you want to wait, you go wait. But yeah, I do think you're right that like the average dude, something will shift in his head one way or the other after you have sex and there's a chance that they might lose interest. So probably waiting is probably a better idea for the girls.
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Meaning what? Asking you out, making a move in bed. Rethink. She doesn't even know yet.
So she's not sucking your dick. Yeah, I'm talking about making the first move like she asked you out or she like dorms.
Your thoughts on a girl showing that she's interested? Hell, yeah, definitely. That's so backwards to think that it's got to be. No, I love it too. I'm pretty old fashioned. I would like I'll pay. But you want to slide in my DMS. I'm like, fuck yes. Do you know how hard that is? The burden is still like very much on a dude. It is so nerve racking. I know I have it.
I know a ton of guys have a crazy fear of rejection because it happens so often.
And so yeah. And we're just like, hey, can we like talk at this bar or talk on this app? And they're like, no, you're not six feet tall or whatever it is, whatever reason they give you. And it's just like, oh fuck. I think any time that one less thing I have to worry about, I will say I'm not used to having to say now. So like, if you slide in dorm and you're not my type or whatever it is, I get very uncomfortable ignoring it or leaving you on read or saying like, thanks but no thanks.
Oh, that gives me like so much anxiety. You know what it's like.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, what if I hurt her feelings? Like, I hate that. I hate it. So I'll do it if you're my type. And if you're not, please don't. I agree with you.
It is hard when the girl makes the first move. But there's a difference between a girl making the first move and a woman chasing a man. What are your thoughts when a woman is chasing a man?
I've said no and she's still knocking on my door type thing.
I think she's pursuing you a lot. Like you're just like you're not even sure if you're interested. You're kind of like, yeah, whatever. But she's always the one like, hey, what are you up to? Hey, when are we going out, blah, blah. Is that, is that attractive or is that less attractive?
That's probably an area where I guess we play a little bit of games. I do think that can be a turnoff. It depends on how much we're talking. Again, it's so annoying with dating for both men and women. It's like be exactly like this, but not like this. But if you give a little bit of that, that's good. But too much that's bad. So I get it. That is annoying. But like showing me that you're interested and attracted to me and want to see me cool the minute that I feel like like I said, you're checking up on me or you want to know where I am or what I'm doing.
I think that there's a fine line. I always think that in anything in life like leave, I'm wanting a little bit more. A little bit of mystery is a good thing. I would not overdo it. Yeah, because it's so easy to do it too. Now I can text you, I can like your photo, I can slot in your DM, I can do all of those things. And it looks like I'm trying to like access you in every way possible.
And it can be overwhelming, I think. Yeah.
Yeah I know. I love that. I am all about like one making the first move because guys can be so oblivious. But then I believe that regardless how independent you are, you should let the man chase you a little bit, be a little more than any relationship or conversation when you're talking.
There's always one person who does a little bit of the chasing and one person who's getting chased, like usually kind of fall into those into those roles. And I think the person who's getting chased is usually like has a little bit more power, you know.
What do men know when a woman has a crush on them or are they playing dumb because they do now or do they really just have no idea? I think that varies.
Like, I'm a pretty perceptive dude. I feel like with women, with work, with friends, I'm always like reading the room and that my podcast partner, John is like, I will miss every single signal you send my way.
Girls will be like, oh my God, I liked you for years. I wanted to fuck you.
And he'll want I had no idea. So I think that's kind of a case by case basis on how dopey the guy is.
OK, so you're not playing dumb.
They're just they actually sometimes I think there are definitely guys who are just dumb. Yeah, yeah.
That was actually a guy one time and I was like, yeah, I actually used to like you years ago and he was like, what? No. When I was like I literally had sex with you. I still didn't catch it. I think I like we're just like I just thought you were like being nice because we're good friends. That's a bit much that's really extreme.
Is it true that if a man is really interested in a woman, he'll do whatever it takes to pursue her? And if he's really not into her, then he'll just leave her confused?
I think if you're really into a girl, it's pretty rare that you won't either, like, chase it till you've got it or chase it until you've exhausted every option and it's like, get away from me, you know what I mean? Like, eventually you have to make it blunt, like yell, I'm not interested. I would hope if you really like something or somebody you would like, go after it until you've proven that you either can do it or you've proven that you left it all on the field.
And if I don't like you that I'll just leave you confused.
What happens, men in general, not you, but it's like a woman's like I don't can't even tell if he likes me. It's like you're confused because he's probably not that into you, because you just proved my point that when a man does like a woman, he'll do anything it takes you.
Can you would you mean if you really can't figure it out, you probably answered the question that he's not that into you, I guess. Kind of depends on what like how long you've been talking and what the circumstances are. But yeah, for the most part I think you'll know. What would you prefer? Let me ask a kind of a related question. Like sometimes I think ghosting is almost like appropriate. If there really hasn't been that much interaction, at what point do you have to have a conversation like almost like a breakup?
What do you expect as a girl?
Like if we've texted a few times and maybe went out once and it didn't work out and you start texting me and I don't answer you, are you like, all right, I get the point or you like I deserve you to at least say to me, hey, I had a nice time, but I just don't think we're a good fit, because I think sometimes if you have, like, almost like a breakup conversation too early, it's like, yo, dude, relax, we didn't need to have that conversation, you know?
Well, I think if if somebody is not getting the hint, then you have to have a me personally. But I've also talked about it on a ghosting episode of that. Actually, the people who noticed the most of their getting ghosted is people with low self esteem because it affects them harder for whatever reason, because for me personally, when I have a higher self-esteem and I've worked on myself, I don't even bother if I feel it. If I was Funchal, go sit down and I forgot about the guy.
I don't take it personally because my self-esteem has nothing to do whether or not he calls me.
But if you have a low self-esteem, you do take it as ghosting because you're like, how dare you not love me after the first date for those people, that conversation is important for them to have. Like you almost have to recognize a girl or that guy that I went out with a couple times doesn't have that much else going on in their life is like, you know, in a little bit of a rut or whatever. So let me have that conversation with them.
They know it's not your responsibility to heal or to work on other people, but if they don't stop reaching out and you find annoying or whatever, then I guess let them know, hey, I'm just not that interested. It's a weird conversation to have. Why do you think men ghost?
You can either be like an asshole and you're just like kind of selfish about life. But I think a lot of guys come from a good place of like, I don't want to hurt you. It can be maybe hurtful to, like, lay it on the line and tell someone, because I've always said this. When you break up with someone, whether it's a divorce, a serious breakup or just like, hey, we're not going I'm not going to see you again, this is like the meanest thing you can do in a way.
This is why this fucks me up. I get fucked up having other people's feelings in my hands. Because you're saying I could choose to live my life with you in it or live my life without you in it.
And I'm just choosing. No, you I mean, that is Fogg's.
That's fucked up, right? It's just like my life. I only have one life to live. And so I'm telling you, I want you to be out of mine. Oh, that's so me. Don't see that. That's what it is. I know what that to me that's what every conversation is like. Sometimes I really do mean it that it's not you, it's me. Sometimes I really do mean it's not the right time. Like those cliches can be true.
But ultimately they're saying whatever the circumstances are in my life, you being in it, not a good idea.
And that is fucked up. So when you say like it's not your responsibility to work on other people or to heal them, I understand that, but I do very poorly with that. But even we talk for like a minute. I feel like obligated to I think it's a nice thing.
But then I also get myself caught up where it's like now I've maybe I've led you on or now maybe I'm caught up in a worse situation because I was kind of being too nice when I should have been asked, you know, what would cheer those girls up that you're ghosting if you just benmore them some money, I feel like they'll forgive you in a heartbeat, like, oh, I'm so sorry for this.
One hundred dollars, please. I have an idea. I thought it's not money. Maybe I have to. You have to give up money, my little money for me. Here's my idea and I'll just I'll do it with money with you. Jesus.
OK, whenever you start a relationship you agree to one thing, you pick an emoji. So for me it's like a pineapple. I always say pineapple. If at any point that person sends a pineapple, it's over. No questions asked. You don't get to ask why. You don't get to know. You don't have an explanation. It's just like we both agree, because sometimes I know this will crush you and I know it's upsetting, but like this is me breaking up with you.
It's the pineapple and you just have to honor the pineapple.
OK, so here's a scenario. Imagine this. I'm walking down the aisle. I'm like, where's Kevin and Apple? Your best man is like the check your phone. I'm like, right now, like, check your phone. I look at my phone. Pineapple. Yes. And. In that moment, because we had this conversation five years ago when we first started dating, this conversation is if at any moment you feel so overwhelmed by the notion of like, I don't want to be involved in this anymore, but I also don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't want to be in a relationship with someone like that.
I don't want to know that you don't really want to be with me, but you're trapped. Yeah.
If agree to it, it doesn't matter if you're on the altar or if it's the next day you get the pineapple or in this case, if I Venmo you 500 bucks. If I could find the money, I swear to God, am I even kidding you? If that was a rule that I could pay five hundred dollars and break up with girls with no conversation, I would do it every single time you went from feeling bad to be like, fine, just take my money.
I don't care. Pineapple, pineapple with five hundred bucks.
And it's like that just means I'm so sorry. Nothing personal, but it's not going to work. Don't ask me why. Don't make me explain how much I don't want you in my life. All that shit. Pineapple and five hundred.
Here you go. Yeah I'm giving birth again. Where's Kevin. Sends me a pineapple again. Like, oh for fuck's sake, come on.
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What are some signs that show that a man is interested in a woman? I'm a big texter, like I talk a lot and this also gets me into trouble too. Are like in the beginning when I'm interested, I'll text you all fucking day, night and morning. If you're not into it, I won't. But if you're responding, we'll talk a lot, you know what I mean? Again, I don't play the games of like I'm not going to text just because I'm not supposed to text.
And if something happens that's funny, it makes me think of you. Whatever, I'll text you, I'll talk. So then I do kind of get myself in trouble. It's like, well, now you've established that we talk a lot. And if you stop that line of behavior now, that's like a red flag. It's a whole thing. I'm working on it. If I'm interested, I'll show you. I'm interested pretty quick. I want to hang out.
I want to talk, like I'll be pretty forward about that. I think the first time a guy is, like, giving up time with work, friends or other girls.
What are some lies that all men tell women? What do you think are some lies? What? You tell me something and I'll try to confirm or deny it. I'm not going to change my mind about this after we fuck. Definitely.
Definitely a huge one. I've never said that because I'm so dumb that I don't think it's going to happen. And then I do it on my trip. It happened again. Whether it's spoken or unspoken, knowing that whatever you talked about decided on or think can definitely change if you fuck, you're so tired, you're the type to know.
OK, let me tell you what goes on with tight. Tight is like not real, but I feel like it's also a nice compliment. So like I'm saying it to you, I don't think of, like, fuck girls who like their actual vaginas tighter. I don't know if they're their legs are closer together or they're smaller or just like something about it is is different, but it's not like the literal with, you know what I mean. I always think that's so funny.
The idea that if you have sex with more dicks, your vagina is wider, wider the outcome. How come our dicks aren't thinner from all the vaginas we fuck? That would be the same logic if you were like, oh my God, your dick is so skinny because you fucked so many girls. It's so fucking dumb. I think some guys are also prone to say you are the best head I've ever gotten, like you're the best in bed.
We guys lie about the best head. Yeah. This is why I like girls should watch porn and stuff too. Because you know what good head is. If it wasn't like loud, messy and crazy, it's probably not the best that he's ever gotten.
Are you into a girl choking on your dick and almost throwing up. Yeah. Oh, that's not for me.
But either you probably haven't given someone the best head they've ever gotten. Are you into a girl then actually almost throwing up on it and then swallowing it back? And then you need to get to the point that we're actually vomiting. Some guys are into that. Yeah, I don't I mean, listen, if it happened, I wouldn't be like, get out of my bedroom. We don't need to go that far. But I think porn has broken a lot of brains or.
It's just like showed us where the bar can be raised to, so it's fine, you just get bedhead violence. No big deal, no point has clearly ruined sex for everyone.
Leslie, I don't think it's ruined it. I think it's shown you how much fun it can be. No, I give great head, actually. Sounds like it. Ask every single athlete.
I'm kidding. I ask any athlete in L.A., I'm getting I've only been with like two.
So what is something the women can do that can accidentally make a man feel emasculated?
I don't think you should worry about this at all. I really don't. I think if you're worrying about this, that guy is like not worth it. If you think that you can do something that makes a guy be like, oh, my God, I'm like, so embarrassed because you emasculated me. Like, I don't think that guy has enough confidence for you.
Well, I think one thing that I've learned is that sometimes I can be really harsh with my words being masculine, you being an asshole. I see things in private, though. One thing that can be masculine from the women and men she'll work on in general with each other is to not put each other down in front of other people. So that's a good thing for a man. If a woman.
Well, you have a small dick and become. I'm out.
I know exactly you're talking about. I get so uncomfortable when couples are mean to each other in front of people. It's like, whoa, whoa, why would you say that? But a guy could do that to a girl. A girl can do that to a guy. I think that's more just like you're being a rude asshole. I think that's a huge one, not airing out your business and not like fighting or calling people out in front of other people.
Oh, one hundred percent. I think that should be like one of the number one rules when you're dating somebody, keep it between you guys. And not everyone needs to know everything that's happening in your relationship.
I very much agree with that.
Do you believe in the whole thing of right person, wrong time, or is it all bullshit? Was it just like the wrong person this whole time? No, I definitely believe that you do. I don't. I feel like you can meet someone and work's not right. You're in a relationship. You're too old for them. Like right now, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, I don't really want to have more kids. So if I meet someone, absolutely fall in love with her and she's like, I want to have kids.
I don't think I want to go down that road again, then what? Right.
So isn't that just you guys? We're not the right person for each other. If I didn't have my my own kids first or I met her like five years ago or whatever I was, I'm the same person. It would have worked. I would have had kids with you. It's too late. Yeah.
You can say that I'm a different person now because of the time, but I think I would have like we could have met at a different time, had the same exact experience, except I would have gone down that road with you. So I guess it's kind of semantics. I see.
I agree. I mean, really emotionally unavailable or is it just some bullshit that they say in order to not commit? It's probably bullshit. Like, again, for me right now, like going through a divorce, single dad, crazy job. Like, it's probably not a good idea for me to get too involved in something, but also not the right girl. You wouldn't stop yourself, right? I'm I'm like a romantic. I'm not even actively stopping myself.
I probably should be saying that emotionally unavailable. I think it can be true. But I think that a lot of guys are using it as a crutch.
You have advice for a girl to get out of the friendzone, girls getting friendzone. Yeah, I mean, my advice would be like, have you gone up to him and been like, I want to fuck you? That would probably work.
But is there any interest in him?
Unless he's one of my guy friends that I slept with a long time ago, he's still on.
No, I mean, I'm kind of joking, but kind of not. I do think the benefit of it going the other direction the friendzone is that you can be pretty blunt. You could be probably be pretty upfront and like, just send like a sext, I don't know, get like pretty, pretty flirtatious and it'll be like, let's go. Yeah.
Let the guy know that you're interested. Make the first move. If you're trying to go to the friendzone, you don't have to send him a sex because you don't want to make the whole thing from beginning about sex.
Oh, I think you should send a text. OK, what do you men look for in a relationship?
It's unfair because I'm looking for, like, all of like the exact right amount of freedom that I need and want, but also want like the exact right amount of attention and time with you that I need and want for like for me, it's like I said, like crazy job, single dad have certain nights that I just like I'm completely unavailable. And then there are few nights that I am available and I'm kind of like would like to see you right now.
Like timing is very important, but I don't think there's like one answer. I guess if you really want to boil it down and try to apply it to everyone. I know guys are more emotional than people I think or let on. I think we are in a very interesting time. I'm trying to find the right way to do this. But I've thought about writing a blog or doing a podcast or writing like a fucking book one day on it.
But it's very hard because I don't want to come across as like you're the average white male who's complaining that things are hard for you. Like I get it. I know things are very good for my kind, but also we are in a point in society where, like, we're supposed to be very much supportive of women and you're independent now and you are supposed to have your own thing going.
But then when the time comes, we still have to be like an old fashioned man and you still expect certain things of us. And I think it's kind of hard to juggle both. A very understanding girl, I think goes a long way right now where it's like, honestly, I 100 percent agree with you.
Like one thing, though, it makes me like this is. A guy that talks about his feelings, I'm just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry going through that, I want to see a. OK, here's my right one. Just one. There's not just one.
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I think a girl is like cool about shit you're struggling with is going to go a long way. I always do a ton of pressure in bed and like if I don't perform, I can't go. I did cardio. I don't last long. I'm freaking out about it. If someone's like, oh no, no big deal, I'm like, OK, cool. So I think like there's more pressure on guys that I think we let on or people want to like, admit the whole thing.
When you're a raise for a man, it's OK, don't cry, don't show emotions. All that stuff like men should go to therapy. Men should talk about their feelings. Men men should cry if they want to cry. If anything, I think women would really appreciate it.
Right. But then I've been I've been in a spot where I do all that and then we're in a fight or doing something's going on. And I hear, like, man up, you need to man up. And I'm like, whoa, fucking which one is it?
I was vulnerable and told you all this shit and you don't like what I said. And now I have to be a man and just deal with it.
How often do you cry? I got a lot of shit on my plate, so I probably I'd probably cry more often than normal guys couple times a month. Doesn't even that much. I had a breakdown yesterday.
Doing all this shit is like my therapy, like it's my escape. I can be like so upset. And then I turn to my gun and I compartmentalize and I'm cracking jokes and I'm good to go, which I think is wildly unhealthy. But it's also just like a necessity for me.
So yeah, I'm like that too. And then like a month later, suddenly all my emotions come out. I'm crying.
What's happening? Are you part Irish? That's what we do. Yeah, I'm Russian, so that's how I was raised. I feel like I'm very similar to men in the emotion department, but like I've been like working on myself throughout the years to show my emotions more important. What is it like dating as a father?
Super weird. Super strange. Still trying to figure it out because one minute I'm like dad mode, like playing with kids and like the next minute, like, yeah, I want to fuck, you know what I mean?
Like, it's a very strange dynamic to be like tonight. This will be a single like bachelor pad. And tomorrow I got like toys and fucking dolls and stuff all over my house. Probably look strange when it's like I'm going to like play with this four year old right now. But then also, like later I want to sex. My whole life has kind of been like leading a double life thing, like having two sides. And that's definitely one of it right now.
It's like half single half family guy.
When is it appropriate to tell somebody when you first start talking to them that you have children when somebody let them know that?
I don't really know, because most people I've talked to know that I have kids because I talk about it and they know me through Basel. Almost anybody I've ever talked to since being single knows. So I've never had to, like, disclose it for a woman.
If she's going on a day, like, when is it appropriate when she let the guy know? Is it like in the texting conversations on the first date? Like when do you think a woman should let a guy know that she has kids?
Probably pretty pretty quick, I would think. Like if you tell someone on the first day and they are turned off and don't text you back, then it's like, good, good.
You cheated him out. You know what I mean? It's like you can say to yourself, like, oh, fuck, I shouldn't have told him. Or you could say, good. Now I know that you're not worth my time. I don't think you should be like, disclaimer, I have kids, but it's like if they say, what are you doing tonight? And you're like, I I'm watching my kids, like just them. What should you tell somebody first?
They you have kids or that you have an acid and do you.
As soon as is that what should you tell them? I haven't had to disclose that, but I would imagine the kids first because they said, like, we're not even having sex yet. You have to disclose that right before you have sex. Right. Any time that you can hold on to that one. Whereas not telling someone about a kid that can affect your everyday life with somebody. So I think the kid first.
Is there anything that you feel like I didn't ask you? No, no. We covered a lot. But I do want to just reiterate, guys get a bad rap sometimes when they are just trying to like we're trying to be emotional and we're trying to make you happy, but we don't want to hurt your feelings while we're trying to be honest, like juggling all that shit is not easy. And I think sometimes it comes across as like you're playing games.
What it's really like I don't know how to do this. It's not that I'm playing games is that I'm dumb unequipped, like I have not been taught or raised how to handle all this. So maybe go easy on the next guy who who upset you because it might not be coming from a bad place.
Got it. What's next for you in life and all that stuff?
I got a few more years at Bar Stool until I kind of got to make a decision whether I like whether I want to stay with them, whether they want to stay with me. I'd like to be there for forever, basically, but I'll always just be doing some sort of radio podcast, media, writing, social media type stuff. The Instagram thing has really taken off, so I could be doing videos on there for a while, kids and career and hopefully finding someone who fits into that.
One thing actually that I just realized I wanted to ask, has having kids change your perspective on love? Is it like new love that you never thought you could love like that way?
You know, I'm saying I'm not, like, so corny about it where I'm like I never thought I could love this way. It's like I love my kids about as much as I thought I was going about my kids. I think it's strange that people like I can't believe how much I love them. I was like, I'm going to love the fuck out of my kids.
And I do understand. But maybe it's different for than women because you have a bond with them because you give birth to them. My mom told me that, like, I don't know love until I have a child about 18 months. She discovered.
I believe there's just like variations of love, like there's different types of it. And you think that you're in love with this guy or this girl and you might be, but you don't know the love of like, this little thing can do anything. And I still will love it. Like, there's I'm not going to get mad at her or him.
I guess it's more just like it's giving me a new outlook on life forever, you know, like I was married and thought I would be forever.
And it wasn't. But like I know with my kids will absolutely be until I'm dead. That's that's pretty wild.
And kids can be assholes, too. And you just have to be like, it's a different love because you have to be like, all right. Like, I hate you, Dad. And you're like, OK, OK, cool. I love you.
I love you. Right. Right. Definitely. You got to put up with all the bad, but the good is pretty awesome. That's awesome. What's your zodiac sign. I feel like an arrest. Pisces. You are. What do you think I am.
I don't know because you were just like more outgoing and all that stuff and you made it seem like you're not that needy and all that because like Pisces, men are very silent, like they're a lot more, I think, introverted.
I'm quiet with, like, relationships. I don't speak up. I'm very outgoing.
Like in social life, Pisces men tend to be creative and they're really easy to walk all over and relationships and they, like, fall in love with somebody that's like their forever person, too. And they'll just do anything for that person that's real.
Those three things are for sure real. OK, and then are they needy?
You said I wouldn't say needy, but it's like, well, Pisces, man. They do believe in, like, love, and that's my person. So like, if it's not needy, but like I'm you're my other half, like, that's how Pisces men usually view of things.
I think that that holds true. And I just need to constantly scratch my head and rub my back. That's OK. Cool. So you have another side to you. Where can people find you all social at?
At KFC Bar Stool. KFC Radio is the podcast on iTunes as well as mail time. And then I'm on every day on the barstool sports Instagram. You can find my videos.
Thank you so much for coming on to talk to be crazy with me on every Thursday. If you guys have any questions for him, you know where to find him. Don't forget to check out his podcast and all of his socials and subscribe to everything. I'm like obsessed with this one than a man like things on his Instagram. Like, I think it's hilarious to definitely check that one out to you.
I appreciate it. No problem.
And I love the kids paintings on the back of your while you are a softy. Yeah, big time.
Big time. I feel like kids can like draw like a line and parents are going to be like, wow, so talented.
Absolutely honored. I think my kids I'm like always like oh my kids are the smartest, the funniest, the coolest, the best dressed. Always know that.
That's OK. Well thank you so much for coming on and I hope you have an amazing day. You got it. Thank you so much to you guys for listening by.