This episode of your mom's house is brought to you by sort of the good people at sort of a TV, a dotcom, the shit.
That's right. They allowed us to send in the early the shit. And the reason why is because I slept on or we slept on their new mattress, the Solaire, which sits up and lays down for you. It has a zero gravity setting. It has an electronic firmness setting its vibrations.
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Now, you're my son. I'm your mom. You're my son. I'm your mom. Asked you. I asked you did your mom. Yes, I would. You're my son. I'm your mom, just like the game, just like this. It's just it's just like the game.
I looked at her and she looked at me just like the game. Once in a while, he calls me mom. I mean. Both consenting adults, I them you I asked you, I looked at her and you look at me and you're my son, I'm your mom, just like the game is just like just just like the game. I saw you. I saw you do it just like the game.
I started. That was a real pleasure. Boy Butter with one of the all time classics. Just like the gays.
I forget the what was his logic linking incest to the game. His life. His logic was as long as it's two consenting adults, just like the game, just like the game.
I now I guess like I can date my mom, you know, the gays do things the think there is, but but gay gayness is its biological. No, it's you can't really love my mom while.
Well, we were watching last night the 90 day fiancee and that guy who was dating Koltai, he still lives with his mom. He loves Mommy 34.
And we were so infuriated with him. Yeah, he it's so it's so disgusting and non-sexual. No. Yeah.
Yeah. It's pretty gross. And they like. He's like. Well, he was married to or going to marry Larissa right on the last scene. Yeah, he she was like, I want to get this couch because I've got to talk to mom. Why? He goes, well, we share a bank account. So he's a grown man being like, I got to talk to mommy.
Yeah. I get mommy's clearance to buy a couch. Yeah. It's like it's so absurd. So there he is in this season now. Yeah. And he's dating another Brazilian chick.
Yeah. Good for him. I like that.
He likes the Brazilian and I have to say he looks a lot better. Koltai is now working out in his mom's garage and becoming more. Oh my God.
I met him right there. So I think God, Jesus, he looks a lot better now.
Yeah. Colting needs.
He got the look. Yeah. Yeah. Just like the gays, just like just like the gays, I'm your mom, you're my son. I like when he goes. It was a real kiss.
Mm hmm. Yeah, it's just real kiss. I want to kiss.
Kiss. Oh, he gave his mother a passionate kissing.
So anyway, anyways, I am still so reeling from excitement from the live show we did.
Yeah, it was so just so you know, if you're if you're listening now, you realize that. It seems, you know, like we had we already had an episode come out after it, but that episode was recorded before the live show, right. So you have to understand that when we said that, we were like, oh, that went well, we haven't done it or anything.
And I have to tell you, I mean, I could get emotional talking about this because I realized that. You know, I really miss doing stand up and I really miss the thrill of performing and like it was just like an excitement that I'm addicted to, that I don't kind of I'm not, like, consciously addicted to it, but I am I love doing standup. I love going on the road and performing and. I realized that I got a big dose of that excitement from the live show because there was a built in exciting aspect to putting on something live.
Oh, yeah. And I don't know it it's so changed everything for us.
I can't even explain to you guys that not only are we going to we're doing it again. We're we're we've already booked multiple ones because we had so much fun doing it and the response was so overwhelmingly positive.
But we're going to like really up the stakes, up the ante on everything. It was for a first time. You do it and then you're like, oh, I realized afterwards what the possibilities are. Yeah. But like, it's it's direct to you like content. And it's allowing us like once I saw people sending in photos of their TVs like watching on and so many like there's so much we can do in those live shows.
The next one, which I won't give you the date just yet, but the next one is, um, is going to have like more guests, more original content that we shoot. It's it's a it's a bump up in the level of show that you're going to see.
Right. And I think the biggest part for me, I think it was twofold. It's that one, it gave us all something to look forward to.
And I think in this time, we're not nobody can do anything to have an event that, like you and all the other people who love the show can tune into at the same time in the world. It was that excitement, like you said, of a live show where we're all here for one reason at the same time.
Yeah, it was really exciting. And also the uncensored part, like even playing am I allowed to say this? The intro song, there's a riot. There's danger in it right on YouTube because of the content.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. So they're having no restrictions. It wasn't just about like being disgusting. It led us to music.
It can play music or just say we can talk about, you know, incest and the gays and not be, uh, potentially.
We played the band BBC clip. Yeah. Yeah. All things that, like, you get flagged for it was a permission kind of to just do whatever. Yeah.
To make a show that we really, really wanted to do. So they're very special in that way. And yeah. And I don't know, it seems like you guys really enjoyed it. We got so many emails and tweets and comments flooding in here. Do you want me to read something?
Yeah, sure. Go ahead. This is from Daniel.
Dear Mom. He's the recent live show left me and my fiance horrified. I could never imagine the darkness that is the human animal.
The entire show was watched within arm's reach of a trash can. We turned away multiple times and cried for these, quote, people and their despair.
I threw up and cursed your names. This is without a doubt, the best show on Earth. Top dog and mommy tits were fantastically drunk and stoic in your attempt to have them hate you. We love the show and will always support your sick fucking humor. Sincerely, soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez. That's awesome.
This one's from Jordan. Hey, Hitlers.
I just wanted to say this live show is the most Proteau thing to happen since the Moose Soup lady cleaned Potter's house with the help of her astral children. In all seriousness, I'm about to embark on my fifth deployment.
I've been in a few IDE's as well as drop bombs here and there, but I've never been so shocked or taken aback as I was watching Mark get his bare fuck on a McDonald's piece or our friend Peerce be a fucking hero.
In the beginning, you guys really helped me get through my last deployment and bring about endless laughter and inside jokes. Only the mommies get really appreciate everything you and the team do. Thank you guys. Keep furthering it. Keep glass it. Love you, Thomas. That's from Jordan.
Oh, and let's not forget Pierce Paris, who in the beginning, Jesus Christ, huge shout out this was, by the way.
And to be totally transparent. Fair. This was his idea. I know. Yeah. We didn't say like well you do this. He was like, hey, I got a couple of things you can do, my asshole, for the opening of the show. And we were like one, because you can play cornhole with it. You can you know, we could put a ring in. I could do a horseshoe. Well, and can I show you this is behind me.
Yeah. He constructed this himself. Is it still there? It's there. This red thing. He built that and he attached a butt plug to that wooden stick. And that's what we could throw the horseshoe onto that went into his rectum. I mean, he really clever guy.
Thank you, Pierce.
Yeah. I messaged him. What a special guy and really sweet, really sweet guy.
I said thank you. And it goes without saying thank you so much. People flip for the Enrico's. You're very welcome. You and Kristina can use my butthole for shock value anytime you want. And I said that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. He wrote laughing my ass off.
Yeah. So and I was also shocked when he got naked in front of us, like, yeah, I haven't seen another guy's dongle. Yeah.
Like in real life. Like that. Yeah. So close. Very close like. I turned into like a real mom, right? I was like, oh, my gosh, yeah, you were licking your lips. I was licking my chops. I was really shocked, genuinely. Were you ready to get down there like. No, I was more like, is this OK? Am I allowed to go to look? And I didn't actually I was like, wait until he was in position.
I fucking looked.
Did you notice how hairless he was in real life? Oh, my God. Yeah. Smooth like a dolphin. That one.
OK, this is Yohimbe. Hi, Hitler.
I want to let you know that I just finished watching a live episode and I really want to give Tommy, Todd and Crystal and the rest of the crew a big thank you. From the very bottom of my heart, there's literally no form of entertainment that gives me the excitement and glee that Y image provides. Never have I vomited while crying tears of joy, except for that one time when I tried heroin. Thanks again, everyone involved for making this very special moment happen.
It could be nothing. It might be nothing more than a podcast, but it really means the world to me and it sure helps me keeping an extremely high end type person, maybe me on. And then Mike writes, I've never been more fucked up in my life. From what I saw on Friday. I knew how fucked up the show already was.
But seeing the video of the gentleman who pumped his balls to a grotesquely a grotesque size, it's not going to get hard till I'm ready to come to the man who pulled the giant snot out of a nose.
I have to say, the snot on the nose was horrendous. It was pretty gross.
Both fucked me up and made me absolutely sick to my stomach and to Mommy Tina, who was an advocate for good mental health. No amount of therapy can help me unsee what I saw. With that being said, I love the podcast and hope you have another life soon. Mike. So fantastic.
People are really, really into it. I mean, we have a live show clip. I can show you a couple.
I don't think you're going to like this, but join your grandparents and they're started showing them, showing them gross shit.
Now, I think that looks like he's clearing it to see if my mom can watch it.
You know, if you didn't, you know, that will fly.
I thought like that. Yeah, you can you can stand up now.
She lay on the ground.
She said she was so drunk, ripped. She was. By the way, my mom is almost that drunk with one glass of wine. So she must like a glass and a half in.
Yeah, that's it. That's it. It's always been like that. Like, oh why not have a glass of wine.
You see her being like and she, she puts ice cubes in her red wine which is really neat.
It's really very special.
Lady, there are some gross stuff and I didn't like this one. Oh look, look, look, you've got to see this one not. That was so horrible. It's so fucking fucked. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I feel like my hurney is going to reopen. So thanks for playing again.
Yeah. I finally have forgotten about it, like, oh, we'll take it off. I know, you know, we haven't played the opening clip yet, how we all love. So we got too excited, too excited about.
There's a lot to get into. There is a lot. Let's listen to the opening clip so we can take this down. Ready? Yeah. All right. Here we go. Let's go, guys.
These people won't work for your boss. You know, it's not real if you got a fucking clue. You in your feet, sweetheart. Oh, is Randy bringing in a thank you.
Well, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Support. Christina Pundit's. Well, go to your blog. That's a that's a Madad. It's my favorite lane of the it's not real.
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's an interesting theory.
Why I always I'm always amazed at how skilled our government is in pulling the wool over our eyes, you know what I mean? Like, they orchestrated this whole fake pandemic.
There's so many dumb people to why so alarming but not surprising anymore. You're when you if you jump into the Internet to be like, what are people's perspective, you know, on things? It's like it's never that you'll find somebody that doesn't believe in, I don't know, anything fact evidence based. And they just don't know. They just go into the grocery store and yell about it.
I know, because it is a time where people are like, science isn't real. Science is changing all the time when believers aren't willing.
I mean, they find out new shit every I mean, there's different levels of yeah, you can be like insanely cautious about things just like about the pandemic.
Yeah. You can go overboard, you know, people but going crazy. But the whole idea of you're like none of it's real.
OK, sure. Dad's yeah.
This guy is a real he's a mad dad. He's mad down here.
I'll give you the whole thing is all these people won't work with their sons. Come on, Dad. You know it's not real.
It's you who's got a fucking doily on your face. Sweetheart, you fucking go off your mom's countertop, you know, you look like an idiot. You're the child. We're not.
At I'm trying to talk to, oh, dad, dad, feel that fucking mask off your face?
Can we talk?
Retard Dog is pretty great picking up his dad off the ground.
I bet you pick him up like a step dad that can strong.
Yeah. She's also really seem like he's done that before.
Like he's like that I can do with my dad when he gets fired up as I pick him up and I carry him out of please. Yeah.
You know, they've got to know that Dad is getting explosive in public now, too.
Yeah, well, maybe a mask off your face. And I like how he's like looks like a fucking Dailly pussy, pussy faggot. Like, oh my God. Well, you know what I mean.
Like, he also has to emasculate him about the mask, right? It's like it's also girly. It's girly, which is so weird.
I'm trying fucking dork. His good fucking giant.
You know, that's like as my as your child is carrying you out your butt to put my 15 year old son is carrying me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's embarrassing. But why are we a pussy? That's an interesting like you should be brave and just get the wrona, right?
Right now, I'd like to send guys like that right into fucking. Yeah. Like the outbreak. Point me to you. Go to Wuhan. Go ahead.
You fucking you get it. You just got to take your showers and wash your hands, you asshole.
You got to just got to take care of your body, you know, you got to just got to cool your ass off. You know how many times I've wanted.
I'd rather see that at the grocery store than the guy would.
I don't want that combative energy around me when I'm trying to shop, you know, and that looked like a Whole Foods type of place to I'm with her asshole. It's hot. It's August and she's wearing her jean shorts and it's hot as shit.
Oh, she's got her asshole right in her cooch.
I have one. I think they should have stations that you can air out your kooch your balls when it's hot, when that be awesome.
It's like they just did provide refrigerated areas for this time of year for for your balls, you know, underwear. Yeah.
You what. Is it fair. I mean what else does she do here. Knows that. Oh that's enough I guess. Yeah, that's right.
Uh, speaking of balls, you cranked out your first not oh my God. After your vasectomy and everybody is waiting patiently to hear I gotta go.
So I've been a lot of people were surprised, you know, when you were you get into anything, whether it's a show, a product, also people doing into the same thing will engage you. Right. Like like I'm watching the show or like I whatever. I bought this watch and everyone's like, I got to say it, you know, it was so once I put it out there, I got a vasectomy. I started getting hit up like I just got one yesterday, I got one last week, I got one last year, like hundreds of people started messaging me about it and some people had, you know, weird stories.
So they start giving you anxiety about it. Like what? Just like some people were like I checked off that day. Some people went 10 days.
I waited two weeks and day. People were like, you know, it could go badly this and that. I see my doctor. And he was like he was like, no, you can do it now. He goes, it probably won't feel good. And I go, Why? He's like, because you're all black and blue down there. And like, I was all bruised, you know, I go, Yeah. And he goes in with the hernia.
There's going to be more pain because obviously, like the pubic pad area is where your hernia scar is.
Yeah, it's fresh. Yeah. So like any of that skin moving is going to hurt. And I was like, oh yeah, that's true. So I haven't busted a nut now and like I don't know, ten days or something.
So I can be like, oh but we didn't bust nuts before you know. That's what I'm saying because yeah that's what I'm saying leading up to it.
Gosh that's what I'm saying. So it's all backed up and I'm like starting to get like fired up, you know, waking up with like raging boners. But then you'd wake up and you, you know, you reach down there and it hurts like things still hurt. The area hurts. So it's black and blue anyways. It keeps. And then I realized one morning I'm like, I got to try to get this one out because I'm I'm really, you know, I'm uncomfortable.
Yeah. So I do this thing. I use a very advanced technique.
And I that's your technique because because we use the things that we woke up that morning and you're like, today's the day I'm going to crank out my first load. And I was like, good luck. Lock the door so that the kids don't come in. Yeah. And so I went downstairs and I made breakfast and I was like, he's jerking off right now. Like, I knew the downstairs.
You were upstairs getting your first load out. Let me see all that. Yeah. And I felt like Ed Asner because I wanted to hear a play by play and I wanted to know the whole is is that where it spits out of and.
Yeah. How big a load I'm going to swallow. Yeah. So I started doing my thing. Did you do it in their bed or in the shower.
I, I just lay lay down in bed. I put in my towel on my stomach smaller.
I could like try to just aim for the towel. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm, I'm getting worked up. I'm doing it.
What are you looking at. Pornography. OK. Oh yeah. Which, which clips do we choose.
Did you take a long time to choose a clip or what. You just got it. I got it. Yeah. I was like what's there. Boom. I didn't do any searching.
You are just like the first one. A woman and a man. That's when you're desperate. Yeah.
So I just saw them doing it. I don't think I even liked her. I just was like, well, this will do her. So I just started to pour.
Yeah. Do you say that, are you like do you put her down mentally. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This fucking but like not because I want to demean her, I just find that to be a turn on. Yeah.
You know, I know my stupid whore so then I yeah. I hear the thing. I couldn't really go like this. Yeah.
Because I feel like that would pull too much of that, you know. So I had to like stay right near the the head. The top. Yes. Like so I became like kind of good at giving Handy's. I think I could probably if you want to find out hit me up, you know.
Would you give me. I feel like I really. Perfected it. You mean your wrist technique, so you had to go to the top of the D. Yeah, and my whole thing just kind of. And did you listen to Ed Asner clips? Yeah, of course. Well, I had him on another on another device, you know, and watched him. And he was like, that's where it spits. Yeah.
You know what's great is that what we were thinking? Like, wouldn't it be funny to watch pornography on the TV like people used to? People used to watch it because you have a TV right in front of our bed. Yeah, that would be great if I walked in on you and you had it like, oh, it could have happened here.
So. So anyways, one guy told me he was like it was terrifying the first time I did. And I go, why? He goes, because you just don't know what's going to happen.
And here's the thing. I understand I intellectually understood what he meant. Yeah, but when I was doing it is when it hit me, right? Because as it was building, like you're building up to your orgasm, you're like you start to go like, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Because I don't like part of you goes, could this come out incorrectly? Like and also you're waking up everything that's been dormant for like almost two weeks, you know. So it's like it's coming up. It's coming up. And I was like, oh. And so.
As I started to ejaculate, like it felt like an orgasm, but I just started laughing because I was I was scared, so I started to orgasm and I was like, I like that is probably like what I imagined.
Like your first homicide feels like I'm really doing it and I'm really fucking like, you know, I mean, and you're like, kill for what?
So it felt like that was I was really like, oh yeah. And then I looked down and I was like, oh.
So I was like, is it going to be all bloody. Yeah. Why? Yeah I know. I like discolored or something. It was still regular. Perfect.
It's just, just with the taste of the same.
Same. Yeah we hold on. But was the quantity less.
Know it was the same quantity. Yeah. Wow. Nothing is change your seminal fluid.
And did it hurt. No. No pain and no I was a little like it felt a little bit different but I feel like that was just like reviving things. Then I did it again the next day. You didn't even tell me about the same kind of thing, though, because, like, I started to do like a little more regular technique and it hurts the base.
Yeah, because I want to give a loving assist, but I feel like you're still so tenderoni that I might, in my tender, be better for you to this week.
I think you can probably. But just the top of your mouth can't go the whole distance. Yeah I know.
Just go around the tip, right. Yeah.
Just like that. We can get one out together.
You ready, ready to do that right now? Not right now. I think it's more of like the live show. Yeah.
Dr. Drew and I were talking to this person on the voicemail, and he was like, I had the same girlfriend for years and I hate going down on her like she I don't like going down on her. And Drew and I at the same time were like she said, at the same time, one, two, three, you're gay. Right. Because I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you're gay. If you're a guy and you don't like going down a girl, I think you're gay.
Yeah, that's kind of that that's outrageous to say. And if you're like, no, I'm like, yeah, no, I do.
Because she he wasn't like, you know, she's she has an abnormal smell or whatever is different. It's a different story. But you've been together for years. You figure if she did have a smell, you would just be like, hey Sam, are you OK?
I think you're at least three quarters go three quarters.
Yeah. Yeah. Because the smell wouldn't even deter you. Really. Not me down. Yeah. Oh, OK.
Well, not me and a lot of other cool guys out there, we don't mind. Hey, don't mind all club. Yeah, I know, I know that's why women don't need to be so uptight.
It is stinky box. Oh, yeah, yeah, so nasty, Tom, true.
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What are you doing with your free time? I hope you're playing best fiends.
I got hooked on this game like, I don't know, a year and a half ago and I love it. It's on my phone and it's good because it doesn't require total focus, focus, focus. But it's enough of a challenge that it keeps me coming back for more. And now I like to play with my friends. So it's a good way to keep in contact with people when you're trying to maintain your social distance. There's over one hundred million downloads.
So everyone's already playing or should be playing and you don't want to miss out on best fans. I love it. They update the game monthly with new levels and events so it never gets old and you don't it doesn't require the Internet to play.
So like, let's say you're waiting to do something and it doesn't use cell data. So you're not going to waste that.
The characters are durable. I love the sounds. I love the different levels. It just is genuinely a fun time.
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That's friends without the ah best fans.
I'm here to fucking preach the truth to rise up motherfuckers in the Matrix because you're all fucking fluoridated in the fucking head fluorinated.
You listen all your fucking Ordos in Hollywood and fucking toss off to them and listen to fucking Kanye West and all your fucking stupid fucking Jim and Nazi girls. Just cheese on your face Tirelli. What who?
You're German Nazi Google like it is it's going to happen.
They've stripped the whole fucking economy. We can't get out of our asses until fucking September. Over a fucking flu and fudge figures and all we care about is fucking look at these counties fucking cooked, you don't fucking cook or fucking smack you in a fucking it. Come out of me, Hansing fucking six weeks fucking before your fucking dogs.
Oh, baby, no, God, no cuts.
He's got prison vibes for sure. This quarantine can really fuck with somebody staying indoors is not good.
It's not good for you, you stupid fucking cunts in Australia. You think the government's the government's testing our fucking strong? You are. If you're going to fucking stand up, you fucking idiot. No, come back at us. They don't care. You want something that on. Yeah. You want a bit of fucking what. I'm gonna keep drinking your fucking town's water and you'll get fucking sclerosis in your brain. Keep fucking it all the pestilence in our fucking society, and you'll start losing your fucking brain.
Have you fucking Hitler's machine, you'll end up like me.
Hitler's meth. That's a new kind. Dude, that would be such a dope marketing tactic for a drug dealer, I think, to to label your mother Hitler's meth.
I mean, if you were like if you're in the game, if you're like, I'm trying to move weight, like, what are you got? Like, I got Hitler's meth. If I'm a meth guy, I'd be like, that's pretty bad, right? Like, it's a bad it's got to be strong.
And then and then you go, what do you mean? They're like, this is Hitler level.
Yeah, well that's true because I used to smoke weed that was called heroin. Right. And I was like, oh, that's like a bad ass drink because it's so bad that it's called heroin.
I'm just saying if you're out there and you're dealing meth, once you throw a little fucking label on, it could be instant.
Oh, I got good meth. Yeah. What kind? Hitler is Hitler's.
Yeah. Due to bad ass man. Let me get a couple of bags. Yeah. I got a lot of homework tonight.
Get put on fucking I Perak when you're 12 years old because you get your frighteningly step fucking Pentonville and fuck you Brian as well.
It's full of fucking fluorides fired up man. Yeah.
You Tom Fox in Australia. You think I'm fucking stupid. Why. Until the Gestapo come in your house to rip you out fucking contract pricing because you're not getting the vaccine because you're not fucking telling the new world all along the Blade Runner. Twenty fourteen aren't coming. Your fucking bitches in Australia, you're all fucking franchise. Just a bunch of fucking cousins. They're all related to many times. And you're all a bunch of fucking pictures in Australia.
I wonder if Mad Dad and him would get a laugh like I won't laugh. That is actually a match. Made it. Yeah. Also right. Where are we. Brisbane, Adelaide. Sydney, Melbourne.
I really wonder where this gentleman is from what I put right back pocket bat. Fuck you Daniel Andrews. Fuck all you like is wearing the fucking mask after leaving you. Well no I can't fucking don't can't say.
There it is. I like his look. I got it's like I kind of do I kind of feel like this is kind of a fantasy look for me. Yeah.
You know, I mean like the chest chest. I like that big fat gold chain. So I like it. I like it too.
I think, I think I could do it then I could get you know, what I really like is, you know, hard is to get that fired up.
Just talking into a phone like the camera just alone. Yeah.
I mean, if you've ever made a video, it's actually really hard to connect. Yeah. This guy, he's so fired up, he's doing this shit alone in his room.
This was so much in an uncomfortably intense direction that I feel like I need to cleanse the palate in the other way. Really? Yeah.
Everybody, I'll give a brief, but yeah, I kind of got involved with gasoline fumes. Again, this is what I'm trying so hard to go ahead and prevent and put an end to.
Yeah. Oh, good. What happens is it makes it hard for me to breathe. Yeah. You dizzy. You hardly move.
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm asking again to please. Yeah. That's not happen to anybody else. Let's, let's put an end to gasoline. Let's talk to you later. Is he laying in gasoline.
Well it is this around is that he's not really in Blackpool.
Interesting and cool about him is that he is on the gasoline fumes. Yeah. And clearly he kind of he enjoys it but he still has the wherewithal to be giving you a warning. He's like, I'm fucking ripped, right. And you shouldn't do this.
Don't do what I'm doing, even though it's struggling to breathe right now.
But what is he laying in like? How come it's so black around that's what happened or what is it hard for me to breathe?
I get dizzy, just put in and I guess let me on in, put it.
But also his interest is that it's like his followers know he has a gasoline problem because he's like gasoline fumes.
Again, again, I'm back on it fell off the wagon.
But it probably is one of the easier habits to have, like because you can just go and buy your gas. I love the smell gas I had, too. And you put it in like that red canister and then just how tough it.
Yeah. I mean, how long can that supply last?
I would do it my my take it last month. It's great. Oh my favorite.
I like how he's like. Don't you can't breathe. It's a great PSA. Jesus Christ, by the way, all kinds. Yeah, let's just throw in an additional PSA.
Don't have gasoline, so that's not good for you, OK?
I feel like I have to let people know. You also shouldn't jump off of a bridge. Oh, that's got to add up. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Just by chance, you landed in that just by chance, if he had jumped up to one second before, he may have landed on the rim of the front there, just cracked everything down two seconds earlier, just straight in the water in the boat, just hits him. Oh, my God.
Could have been a cooler vid, but this is ridiculous. Wow. And this is definitely one of those times were being drunk is to your advantage. Young limp like that probably saved his life right when you get into car accidents.
He did almost a million dollar baby himself, by the way.
Did you see that? It was the top comment a few episodes ago. And it was like, I don't know why, but I think it'd be pretty cool to see the dog in a wheelchair. Yeah, that's interesting. I didn't see that.
You didn't. It was like the it was the thumbs up. I don't know. A couple thousand is the top. A couple thousand. Yeah.
That's neat. Makes you feel right.
I would I end up in the wheelchair.
I think it had to do with the chiropractic adjustment that we're going to do.
Yeah. We're going to do a live show on the live would be great if we had a chiropractor here walking you through it. Yeah, that. No, no, no, no.
A chiropractor doing it, man. I think I'd be OK with that.
Just giving him coaching. Just come on dude. Yeah. Let him coach you through it. Through you paralyzing me.
Yeah man. It's not going to happen. Nothing bad will happen if he's here.
I don't understand how you're saying that so confidently because yeah.
Here it is. I don't know why, but I think a dog would look pretty cool in a wheelchair. That was the top comment. One point two thousand thumbs up. That's a lot.
And then it says, I like him, but I like him better in a wheelchair. Uh oh. Give the people what they want, right?
Yeah. I'm gonna go, dude, let's do it.
All right. I'll buy a wheelchair ahead of time. So we're prepared for what I for when I go like.
OK, I'm sorry. You were right. I don't know how to do this. I'm going to drive.
Oh they make adapters and everything. Now you can modify your car. Cool, man. Can't wait. Yeah, and you've got that new sort of bed, did you know, by the way, if you want to take a vacation? Yeah. Hedonism is open in Jamaica now. Hedonism to. Hedonism to.
Yeah, that was crazy.
That was stuff like crazy hedonism to proudly opened its doors recently.
If you guys are used to it's a clothing optional resort in Negril and I've actually visited one when I was on the road rules real world challenge.
Horen it up Hornell and it is wild because it will be like Nate Naked and Bandler scrollable go up.
Nobody there. It looks like that you know but just the thumbs up.
Nobody heads up, nobody looks like that and I got to walk around marketing looks like that. It's the guests don't know but he looks like that at hedonism.
I can fucking tell you and like you will go there's a buffet and everybody is awaked at the buffet. Holon. Do you hear what I'm saying? Yeah, of course.
And there was like a master and servant, like a chain caller dog on a leash. And they're like, you go get your buffet and sit down, eat your chicken next to naked people. It's fucking so unsanitary. So I don't know how these people are going to fight covid.
Well, here's the other thing. To make that bigger, the texture so we can read it. What to expect. Yeah, because if when you do see every once in a while, there's going to be like a really good looking couple. But guess what, they're yeah.
They are there. No, no, you're right. But they're not fucking the uglies. No, my point is that they're going to be disappointed.
They're going to be like everyone here is gross. We're so hot. And so they're not going to be like down to fuck you. You know, they're just they're like, oh, it's just us. So you can explore, enjoy all your hedonistic desires, a place that feels like a second home, complete with a friendly, helpful staff that's ready to assist you as you discover all the sensual pleasures hedonism, too, has to offer as master of your own domain, you are free to be as mild or as wild as you wish and all the allure life has to offer.
The wilder king tantalise all your senses from the scent of a crisp ocean breeze to the taste of your favorite top shelf cocktail. Indulge the decadence of gourmet meals crafted by award winning chefs.
Feel the pillows soft sand beneath your toes, the brilliant sun as it envelops and warms you with its glow take in the panoramic vistas known as the world renowned Seven Mile Beach. OK, expect to have unrestricted fun your way.
People from all over the world, their fantasies, sexually sexual, sexually charged environment, whether it's steroids or pick up the pace with games and entertainment man. So people are they just they fuck everywhere, really.
It's literally I remember walking like, yeah, there's people fucking in hot tubs and then they have you just fucked by the pool fuck by anyone.
Well, you can fuck on the dance floor. You can fuck at the at the dinner table you can fuck. And there's rooms that are just like I don't think that would be an L.A. bar naked person fucking it's so unsanitary and gross.
It's, it's, it's so gross.
It's enjoyable in the fantasy aspect where you like your mind goes, oh no, that's cool. But the reality is like you're just sitting by the pool and like you see this dog getting real nice. I hear noises and you smell in it and you like, get the fuck out.
Exactly. There's a million at asanas and like one hot couple. Right?
It's people that are fucking hard to read. Yeah. It's all types of people that it really is.
Yeah. And it's people like us that are like regular body come. Yeah.
It's not hot bods dudes.
How big a load I'm going to swallow.
You're hearing that you know Jesus Christ it is so gross and they're like, yeah, you're not going to get covid everyone's going to where everyone's going to use hand sanitizer before they go down on each other and like fuck each other. I mean, it's a fuck club.
There's no way you're going to prevent it from spreading like really crazy. Crazy. You won't hear because I do.
And I didn't. I saw you post it on the ground yesterday and I did not ask you on purpose just so I could find out with on the show with everyone else.
OK, so Ficca Saga continues by guy got such a fucking horrible guy. So we were doing the live show and when we were doing the live show. That was on Friday.
Right. Friday. Yeah, I had messaged him on Friday, I said, hey, you never checked in or sent someone. That's what happened on Friday during the live show, right? Hmm.
And he writes back at six p.m. we're doing the live show. Yeah, I know. I'm trying to get there this evening. I won't leave you hanging. I'll get their ass up so you can ride this weekend.
Know six o'clock on a Friday night.
When are you going to come by? Like, ten o'clock at night. And I'm talking about, like, crazy.
So I guess what, he didn't come by. No, he didn't call. OK, yeah.
He saw Saturday morning. I just sent him a question mark. And he goes, sorry, I couldn't get there last night. I should be there once beach traffic dies down a little. You have my word, we'll get there ASAP. Thanks. That's one 30 on Saturday. He said he didn't like, you know, I mean, like the normal thing would have been like, hey, I could use the last night.
You prompt it. You write it in the morning. This is one thirty on Saturday.
And hold on. There's no beach traffic at 130. Yeah, no, no. So I wrote. OK, that's done. So guess what, three hours later at four thirty I just write. How about now.
I mean and then he writes. He waits three hours, he waits three hours, and he writes, sorry, three and a half hours. Hey, bro, I'm trying to get there and you're my first priority on the schedule.
Well, we're still on a skeleton crew, so I appreciate your patience. So I'm meeting another customer in Santa Monica tomorrow morning.
Now we're pushing it another day so I can come by before that for my first appointment of the day.
Be there between 11, 11 a.m. and 12, 30, and I'll text you 30 to 60 minutes before arrival. Thanks. And I just write. OK, thanks. I mean, I'm just taking this as like a game now, you know.
He writes, No problem, all we need is some we open the garage, we can check the bikes and I go, OK, let me know when you'll be here. That's he's like, we'll be in and out in less than 15 minutes, figured, well, there will just check over all the bikes. Let me know if you need anything else, OK?
So it's Sunday, right, and supposed to be the first appointment Friday night, he was supposed to come. Yeah, no, that's in the past. So now it's Sunday, OK. We texted him Friday and he said, come by tonight for the weekend. Now it's Sunday. Weekends about to be over.
So it's Sunday at noon, which is like the window that he told me he would be here by. And he he let me see. He he promised he starts it.
I'll be there by 1:00 p.m. depending on traffic, traffic that Sunday, traffic, sun beach traffic.
He goes. So I'll tell you. I'll text you when I get close and I go, OK, great. I write him some stuff about the different bikes and like the issues. Yeah. And then I just decide to hit him up at one oh seven. I go, what's your ETA?
And he responds, running a little behind here and all that sun. So I'll be there about in about thirty five forty minutes. I'm getting close and I'm like no like ok. And he goes please confirm your address. So I do. He goes OK, see you then. And he goes, I arrived. Can you open the garage. And I go it's open. And then I walk and he comes down into the garage. He's like, Hey man, how was he.
Well, is he busy tweaking?
He had a mask on when I had these insanely. Piercing like light blue, like sky blue eyes, like and like you see them and you're like Jesus, like they they don't they're like unnaturally clear, you know, but yeah, skin's a little iffy. Yeah.
They're sweating because he was really gray and sweaty when I met him.
He wasn't sweaty. You know, he, he, he, he, he really knows bikes. And he was like going through some of the mechanisms about this and that and the rotor and this and the brakes. And he's really breaking the stuff down. And I'm like, all right man. When I when I was leaving, he was like, do you want to get like a different bike seat?
And I'm like, this is hilarious, right? Because I go, Oh, yeah, no, I'd like to get a different bike seat. And he goes, you I'll send you some options, like, OK, sure. So he texted me, OK, like he text me.
We see what time he this is before his Sunday visit. No, this is after after something like three hours. He fixes everything. Three hours later, he sends me a text. He goes, here's the seat options. Let me know what you like. Wow. Now, that's a lot for him to follow up.
So I write back. I go, these two look the best. I wrote that. 6:00 p.m., but like 20 minutes after he texted them to me and that was it. I never heard anything back. Yeah. And then he also said that he also was like, hey, Clyde mentioned the bike that I like. He's like, do you want to get one? And I go, Yeah, I want to get one from you. Yeah.
So I told him the one I liked and he was like, OK, well, we'll set that up for you. And I'm like, I just want to know, like, what kind of. You know what kind of experience here's the thing, OK, I realized by Christmas you'll get the boot. This is what I realized.
Yeah, I am attracted to. Abnormal behavior and being around it. Yeah, I can't get away from it, and if you're like, really? Yeah. Look at this 10 year podcast.
I know this shows you because people ask me, they're like, why would you follow up with him? Why would I go? Because I want to see what happens to.
Yeah. Or my Jesus trainer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's in mostly stories. Right. And if you go back to that, that's twenty sixteen. If you go back to that special and even the podcast in that time I'm talking about them. And one of the thing that everybody, you and my friends were like, why are you still working out with this guy?
Because I would tell the people stories about it. Yeah. And I was like, because I can't stop.
Feels good. I can't stop being around it because it's abnormal. And I have a there's something in me that is really drawn to it like like that's to this behavior.
Yeah. And so this dude, until he does something egregious where I go like, that's too much of a red flag.
It's like I want to observe him and be around his because it's really funny and it's really funny and it's thrilling and it's amusing.
It's still here's the thing I like.
I think that it justifiably frustrates me. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't want to feel frustrated all day, but I think every once in a while I want to have a legitimate gripe of being like this fucking guy.
See anything that guy provides, he's kind of he's your he's your whipping boy, but he's a legitimate whipping boy. So now you don't take it out on me or anyone else or the kids or your dog or whoever, because now this guy takes the fall.
Yeah, it's actually a really healthy sublimation, I would say. I think so. It's a healthy way for you to get your anger out because you frustration on everybody is the way to channel these things.
But I also I remember very vividly having Dr. Drew on, I think the first or the second time.
And I go, I like studying human behavior because you asked me, like, why do you like these clips? Like, I like studying human behavior.
And he goes, no, you don't like what do you mean? He goes, you like studying abnormal? Yeah. You and I was like, oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Well, I like being around that. I wonder why.
What my because I, I'm also drawn to it as well, which is why I love Tock. I don't, I love the dark side of the force. I'm fascinated endlessly by abnormal behavior, but I don't know what the deal is with me. Why why do you think I like it so much. I find it I think for you it provides a different thing, but I don't like I don't like being in real contact with it like that back, I was like, boop, I'm done.
Tom, you deal with this guy. I don't like it in my real life, but I love watching it and like, it makes me really laugh. Yeah, it's amusing. Yeah. What do you think it is?
I think for you it makes you go like part of it makes you go like it really verifies for you that you're normal.
I was just going to say that. Yeah I think so too.
Because then I guess that's something else that like I can check that box off and be like, oh, but at least I may be wacky, but I'm not that wacky.
Yeah, no, that's so channeling your anger like this shocked me. I don't know who thinks talking about that. He said, yeah, I could have a conversation with him in the room in front of me. Yeah. I'm gonna come inside.
OK, well you know that would be the guy video be doing right now. That'd be me.
And I'd be like, hmm, I love it to his ear to ear.
But see, I'm judging him. I'm going, thank God I'm not that crazy.
I'm like six six in a medium and a medium sized coffee.
Imagine going back to your order after that. All right.
I know that's what I wanted. A medium coffee. Yeah. All right. It's just threaten to kill everybody. Yeah. It's like when you're doing stand up and you're in the middle of a joke and then a heckler fucks when you have to fuck with the heckler and then you go back to the table and the content.
Yeah, that's the worst. And it's the one that's the worst thing about those hecklers. They derail what you're doing and you're like you just fucked up the momentum of this thing.
Oh, it's a big deal. Fucker's piece of shit, dog guns, God damn it. Eat shit and die.
Yeah, I hate hecklers. They should die. Hey, can I read you this one email? Yeah. Apropos our dog racism conversation. The dog.
If you could pull up the end I got here. Oh you have it. Okay. My name is Jeff from Illinois and I recently listened to your podcast where you discuss dog racism and which kind of Doritos you is why it's not racist.
It is to which kind of dogs are worthy to be pet by Tom. I think you would get a kick out of my girlfriend's dog Gizmo since she's pug slash Brussels mix and there she is. We were very excited when you guys said you had a Brussels on the show. Also one time approved of Pug's as her family has had pugs most of her life. Don't worry, we are not dog racist. Oh, I had a pit bull named Dodge.
Thank you, guys. I mean, look how cute this one is.
I'm brightest and you're welcome in my house. I, I'm a breed is too.
I love Brussels and Pug. They're people. I'm not interested. Oh my goodness. I'm a Brittas, and I'm assuming it's super cute. Yeah, I love dogs. I lived with a pit bull for a summer. You did? Yeah. Where in D.C., really? And did you like that pit bull? It was there was a Trixi. No.
And she was all muscle. I'm out of my back. Holy shit. And she would run up, jump into my bed every morning when I got up and just I could just like and like I could take my full grown man strength and just go and fucking throw her and she would just jump back on.
It was unbelievably strong dog. Yeah. Yeah. She was adorable.
And then would she bite your throat in the nose?
But like you also, you know, like play toys like like a rope, you know. I mean like. Yes, yeah.
And you pull you would be blown away at how strong the storm I mean when you see it too.
When she walked she was you could see definition just.
Yeah. I've never actually I've never had a pimple or really had much time with one so I don't know. But they fucked one.
He did. Yes. A pit bull. Bert fucked a pit bull.
Wow. Did he like it cause he liked it. Yeah. Yeah.
He said they really throw their asses back into a muscular way. Let me see the first picture of again of the tricks or gismo.
All you get is a sweet, sweet dog. I like those kinds. Oh they go. Well yeah look at that.
I like the coloring on there too. It's got pug color but Brussels. Yeah. A shape. Oh it's really cute. Really cute.
I can't wait to get like five more Brussels when our kids leave. Yeah.
For college I'm gonna get like five of them. I'm going to name them all people's names though. Remember. You want to name one Tiffany.
Yeah. Because we met a Tiffany. Tiffany, Rick.
Karen Michel. Oh yeah. Oh all peoples names. All peoples. Yeah we really was.
Bobby, Steven. We're Steven. Steve took a shit in the kitchen today.
Brandy or what if we need them all like trashy girl names, you know, crystal, crystal and Qandi soap you fucking slut dogs.
Shelly Yeah. Shelby Cinnamon.
I'll tell you, this is like a clip in here. Before we we stop down for a moment, we have the great Josh Potter come back, um, to talk with us.
But this clip is like. Like you can there's it's like one of those moments that you realize.
The fact that this guy was able to capture this kind of derail it and then the feelings that you'll feel, I think just like I can't even let me see now.
Yeah, I'm all pumped up. I can't even articulate how I feel about this.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you taking my tire? Is that what you're doing? Is that right? Why is that my tires, your tires gone so you can just take other people's tire, things like that? I don't think you take it. I'll tell you that right now.
Oh, my God. Yeah, you just found a guy stealing his tire. But wait, it gets better, I'll tell you. Not going to take it. You're picking up here it. Yeah. Yeah. You don't do you don't do that to people's car, OK?
I just want to know that I have police come in on the way, people don't do that. Go to other people's car, just take it. You trying to get away, sir? Oh, my God.
He's like, wait, what are you going to do? You're going to carry your tires. It's just unbelievable.
You know, I'm just telling you, the people I'm just telling you that right now. You see this? Yeah. I got cops coming right out.
I don't think that's why I brought my truck here. Yeah. If I wanted to just steal your tires. Yeah. Yeah. I think you just tried that, though, right? So now he's like, if I was going to steal your tire, I wouldn't have brought me. I don't think so. But he keeps talking.
He keeps trying to steal your tires. You're not trying to steal my tire. OK, take my hand and put it on your truck or bring it back. Oh, OK. That's what it is, huh? That's what it is. OK, OK. That's right. All right. We'll see. That's why I drove my truck here. Yeah.
Oh, man. You don't think I work my ass off from my truck to work my ass off. Yeah. So why do you take my tires. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you just take yours actually some thought put into this. Oh is that right. Okay guys, I see that because you got your jacket, everything else. So I know that's good. I'm not trying to be a fucking thief.
Really? Yeah, because I worked my ass off with this truck, man, you're selling, I'm selling because you don't know my life, I you don't know that I need money all the time to put my rent on your own. Yeah. Come back later. Yeah, I'll back out.
He thought I was going to do he was going to take. That's all I was going to do. I was going to take your tire. Put my rim on your truck. Then drive away and then later come back and it back when I'm done, yeah, dipshit, you fucking so upset right now. Plus your truck is for sale, so why can't I take shit from it if you're going to sell it?
You don't even like your truck. You're not using it all the time. It's amazing. Perfect logic.
Yeah. No, no, no way. No way. I don't believe that for a minute buddy. Yeah. Because it's what I have to run my truck here. Yeah. I would have given you that chance to get me like. Yeah OK. But think about it. OK, take about it like I was going to earlier. Sure.
Think about it. Yeah. Now get out of here.
Yeah I know how many people evacuees are from today but. No, no nobody got a phone call. Yeah. I would have been able to make a phone call. Yeah. Cool man, really cool guy. That is unreal, just the audacity of a human being to be like this.
But the fact that I love that the guy saw him literally finishing up, taking the train is like taking this tired and taking the stock is for sale.
The lie to have like and then I was going to the rim and then you're going to believe, why don't you just be the only thing that would have made the sweeter is if we saw the police pull up and like go.
I would love to know that that guy went to jail.
Like, those are people who I'm like, please tell me they're in a jail that doesn't feed their inmates.
Or so never in the Middle East somewhere or even it's like when you let me know this guy has been getting it's like when you are on the freeway and you see somebody zooming past everybody and speeding in, the cop is fucking over there and you're like, I wish there was more.
Then one day it is. I know, but I wish there was an app where I could see who just got pulled over and, you know, it's that person. So it's like satisfying. Yeah. Yeah. This guy is so dumb.
Why shouldn't he just be like he's just it's just a piece of shit.
You don't want your back. Is your thing for sale. OK, dude, have you ever had your rims stolen. I have a my old 87 Chevy Nova. They fucking took my rims to steal this one.
Yeah. He's really a dumb guy that thinks he's intelligent. Yeah. But this is the kind of guy too that you could see like he would see he would issue the same explanation to the cops. Yeah.
And then the drugs. OK, and then just arrest them and he'd be like, I mean cops are just out to get me man.
No, it's never totally reasonable explanation. Yeah. It's never their fault. Guy's such an asshole.
OK, why don't we take a quick break and we'll be back in a moment.
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Talking about erectile dysfunction is not easily. Usually we just brush it off, brush it off, or we blame ourselves saying things like I lost my mojo or I had a long day at work or I need to stretch. I don't know, something like that, I, I stub my toe on the furniture. You can't expect me to perform, but with Roman it is easy to talk about it with a real health care professional who can prescribe real medication.
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There it is. I had a boner since the last time I heard. It's been so long, by the way. You look much better. I look better. Yes, that's all clear.
I mean, yeah, I cut my hair off. Yeah. I think it's a clean. It got really hot here in Los Angeles, California. And so I got sick of it.
Yeah, I was I realized after the fact how ridiculous I looked.
You know, I was like, oh, I was just letting everything grow everywhere.
And this is I have to say, like, I like you falling apart. Yeah. I like this. This is a better look.
And how is the cleanliness of your. It's actually it's still good. Yeah. It's going great. Wow. I've kept it pretty orderly. Yes. It's just it's ready to rock, you know, for sex and stuff, whatever. How's your sex life been. It's been all right. Yeah. Yeah. Here and there. You know, quarantine has put a bit of a damper on things, but how does most of the hooking up happen now if you're not really now?
It's pretty straightforward. You know, like online. It's an online thing. No, it's like well, I mean, if you know somebody or whatever, if you have, it's just kind of like we're going to have sex, you know what I'm saying? Because it's like there's no place to go. There's no pomp and circumstance or rituals or anything anymore. There's no bars. You can't just like maybe we'll get a drink. There's no putting up airs.
It's we're just going to fuck now. It's like zoom. It's like the zoom.
Yeah. We're going straight away. Just getting right into it. It's better than zoom. It's pretty hands on. Yeah. Comparison.
I mean like zoom meetings versus in-person meetings.
People like just get to the point where we're cutting the fat on the process, just like the work forces are out there. They're realizing we don't have to go to offices anymore, just like we don't have to go to bars and we just fuck.
Yeah, go. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah.
Speaking of fuck, we received your dick cage in the mail. Yeah. We left it. I thought you were gonna say something else. We're both doing something wrong. I thought you were saying I received your dick pic.
I'm like no, no but I something we got your dick cage. So the whole idea though is to have you wear the cage and then bring in somebody that you find very attractive.
I can't wait to see who you got and then have them try to make your pecker hard. Yeah.
So that you end up in pain. That's the whole idea. I can't wait. No, I'm down. I want the pain part of, like, you know, obviously not looking forward to, but the rest of it sounds fun. Yeah. What if they're dictators. Roomi. I haven't seen it yet. Yeah.
But if you really like it it's so heavy. What if I like it. I don't know about that. It's heavy huh. It's weird. Is it. What is it.
Anchor itself to my actual. Is it just going to hang on my dick. Yeah. Maybe to stretch it out. Yeah. It just hangs on there. OK. Yeah. So it's just way all in a weighted cage hangs down.
Yeah. So I might get a longer dick on it. You might.
That's a really that's a glass half full kind of outlook. That's right.
Yeah. I like it. A little stretch going. I hope you use the tip cup since we've last seen. Nope. I've got my same tip still that God gave me have not put them back on. I did use them actually to film that video when I was one of the actors who was appalled at the racism and all that. Right. Right. I will not be silenced or whatever.
Oh by the way, we should mention this because it's just so fresh. Yes.
So when we sat down, we just had like a crazy call where on location the people that hosted our live show called to be like, we cannot host this.
This is one hundred percent true, but not a bit. But to give you the back story on this, this was brought to our attention as a possibility. And we said, you know, what we definitely want to do is do our show, add some elements, and we want to go completely uncensored. Is that OK? The immediate response was, of course, like it's totally fine. And then we were like, no, no, no.
I don't think you're going to say fuck, right? Yeah, yeah. I was like, how do you know what we're talking about?
So I'm just giving you the full story. So I had Nadav and the.
Always put together a Dropbox that showed all the stuff that was in the live show and I'm talking pussy punching pussy punch and shitting on McDonald's, all kinds of crazy shit.
We sent that to my agency who sent it to our location, who gave us the approval, the thumbs up. They cleared it and they were like, yes, you can do this. So at that point, we were super excited.
Then we put together the show. We do the show, we find out the night of the show that we broke all their records as far as like people buying and jumping on the server.
So it's like huge success for everyone's huge success and that this is a new thing we can do. It's uncensored content, which is exciting to us. It's obviously it's beneficial to the people that are hosting it for us. Then you go through the weekend, people are still checking it out.
And then I post this thing moments ago about like you you do, too, about like, hey, you can still watch the show for a few more days at this link.
And I get a message. This is urgent. I go, what's the what happened? They go, well, they just called and said, we have to get this down.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
So that is to tell you a couple of things.
One, we're definitely going to keep doing the live show right work, but we're just working on a different hosting service for it.
So, yeah, it's just it kind of blew my mind.
It's like, oh, so you let it slide for five days and then now you're like, they just watched it.
Well, it's very frustrating because our own location rep during the show almost vomited and he told him that during the show.
So it's like, yeah, this is frustrating, but well I mean, gosh, you guys can't handle handle a little pussy punch or a little shit nomic nugget's. I mean, big fucking deal. What are we, you know, Omeish here. Yeah. Puritan's, I don't think they they like that argument.
Well this is crazy. I mean, like this is really crazy because now we have to find another way to make our live show. Er like this is nutty to me so.
And we got to get moving too.
I know we actually well we had booked the next one and so now we have to see if there's another person that will host it, you know.
Oh my gosh. But it also makes us go like we should host our own thing, but we have to build that.
That's the thing is we need the technology to do this live anyways.
The other thing that's the whole thing. Crazy like crazy. Yeah. That anybody cares. I mean, we are. Who knew.
Too dangerous for the web caution to tape.
So they said you couldn't put it online. Now we're back. I'm sure not all kinds of.
Well, that was the whole point of starting the podcast was like, you don't want to be on TV because they censor you on TV. Now we're on the show and it's like it's this constant layers of trying to just do the show you want to do. Yeah. Be proud of it.
Do you think that that guy, the rep, the person that called from the company, just started the show and saw Pierce laying there with a theme that he was like, hey, so we're going to get this stuff right now?
Like he just watched the first party, probably like his boss and the rep was like all about it.
He's like smoking cigars. Like, I just made a shit ton of money. And then his boss is like, let's see what this is here. And then he's like, you fucking are.
Oh, my God.
Like, I shit in his pants making some McDonald's. So we're going to be doing it somewhere else. Now, as always, I'm always excited when you come back. I feel like you not only entertainment, you educate the fans. Yeah.
This is more well, it's it's multilayered. I thought I'd talk about perhaps Christina's two favorite things, sports and public masturbation.
Yes, I like one of those sports. Yes. But yeah.
So I the first gentleman we have here, gentlemen, is one that we could maybe sympathize with. His name is Reese McGuire. OK, man is only 25 years old when this young man, young man, when this incident happened, he was 24 years old. And, you know, I've already kind of alluded to what the theme of the topic is. But let's hear a little. We have a tape of Reese getting pulled over by a police officer in the folder there.
Oh, my God. Into someone. Sure.
Let's do it. So we have the carpool up there. You didn't know that they were watching, you know, doing what you know. OK, and when did you realize that the people were here? OK, I didn't I was I was in the car. And at one point I was I was checking to make sure no one was looking like no one was around me and know. And then I realized. You know, so Reese was in a parking lot near by his apartment that he was in for spring training and he decided to pull on over and start cranking it in his car, in a parking lot, in a parking lot, like a store parking lot.
Like a strip mall.
Yeah. You know, it's reasonable. Was at nighttime. It was daytime, um, kind of early in the morning.
Oh, but here's my question. Have you ever publicly masturbated? And by publicly, I mean, like in a dangerous situation, like he wasn't necessarily beating it in public, but he tried to do it driving on the freeway before.
But it's been a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as a comic, I feel like every comic has jerked off in a rest stop or something right along the way.
Right. All right. I'm not going to out anyone in the room over there, but I pulled the room before the show today.
Yeah. Two people said they did not publicly masturbate and one said that they did. And I said, why did you publicly masturbate?
Well, I was a much younger person at that time, let's see, a drive home from high school, I did it one time then OK, and then did you pull over or as far as I was driving when you shot it all over yourself.
I forget where it went, but I remember not caring.
Oh, I almost did the the drive thing like you too. And then I thought, like I crash and my dick's in my hand in a field and they're going to be like, well we know why he fucking drove off the cliff. Yeah.
His pants around his ankles and his dick's in his hands. You're going to find you that way.
Well, plus the cleanup. I would worry, too. How do you that's not a cleanup. When you're driving, you throw out the window. Yeah, OK.
I think it's a car and someone's like, man, that was a big bug. Wait, so what? Yeah, that's a big one. One time in a car and then.
And then the other time I was in a flight. Yeah.
Oh, this is the 45 second I was on a flight to Israel and my mom and sister were were, were in the thing and I was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom for five to 45 minutes at least.
We went to the bathroom and you jerked off in there?
I did. On the flight. I did to Israel. To Israel.
And when you got little or no come into some toilet paper. But I remember coming out of the of the bathroom and there was a line and all these Orthodox people, I think, heard me doing what I was doing because they were very upset.
Are you allowed masturbator? I mean, you are, but not for 45 minutes when there's a line.
Wait, what do you mean, though? How did they hear you?
Would they hear like they heard that they were waiting for 45 minutes, like I was just in there for.
Oh, you could have been shitting me. You could have been shitting you. Yeah, I would assume you they heard you like.
Oh, like you were making noises like that. Yeah I know. That's how I spit.
Like in a and I'm I'm assuming economy class background so meaning that like just to remind you that I'm Jewish, Christine.
But just I'm saying that it gets way more use than the first class cabin restroom. So but you know, filthy.
Yeah. But I was in high school like you don't think I don't give a shit where I am, I'm going to get cranky.
Yeah. Yeah. Well that's why I feel bad for research.
I do too. Oh, that's just not a data.
Should I play the next one. Well yeah. There's, there's, you can hear more of the exchange with the cop. You can skip to the third clip I've who's recording this exchange. This is on the body cam the body.
TMZ got a hold of this I found at the apartment next to the stadium. Why would you come to a parking lot? I just. I mean, are you staying with other people at the apartment or OK, that is like a weird situation where you think it's New Year's. Yeah, OK. Why did but why does a policeman have to know why he's cranking one? I think it's just to get in his head and find out if he's a fuckin derelict or if he's just a kid making a mistake.
Yeah. You know, so he's like, what are you thinking? What kind of crime are we going to charge you with here? Exactly.
I thought it was more like for his arousal, like, why are you doing this? Maybe it was a little hard to tell me.
He's just just always wanted to pull someone over, like, you know, like what do you want to know what goes on in here.
But, ah, you know, I realized that I was taking down my pants down with me anyway. I really like my arms and. How do they like to the people, someone call the cops? That was a song because he was like he didn't do a good enough. He's just sitting in the fucking front seat jerking off. Yeah.
He's like outside the dollar store, like maybe looking at porn on his phone, you know, Christ. But now, I mean, again, he's a young kid. He made a mistake. He's the catcher of the Toronto Blue Jays. He's having a rough year. It's a little it's fucking with him. You know, he's charged with a misdemeanor. Could be a good become a sex predator for this. And also now he's getting trolled like the other day he was playing for the just shit talk is one thing, right?
Like some other players, he was playing against the Braves and the organist for Atlanta played beat it when he was coming to the plate. Oh, damn.
All messed up. Yeah. So it's like he's got mental. And so this gentleman, I feel bad. I do feel bad.
I mean, it's a stupid thing to do but I feel bad. Yeah. Because he's a dumb young kid, you know, and he's dumb young in full account anymore. He pointed it out. That guy he nutted. Do you think he nodded. But do you think the cop. Yeah, he was like, you think I just finished. Some are already in trouble, man.
I just wonder because he had very like that sounded all of that sounded like post not clarity coming. You're an idiot. All that stuff. So, you know, I didn't get a good look at his pants though.
But here's the deal. Don't you think at least he could have covered with a blanket? You know what I mean? Like, at least.
Yeah, but if you're like this, you know what you need. You need one of those sun reflectors in the you throw that up, jerk off and then take it. Yeah, well, he's not time.
Good thinking. I mean, there's plenty of ways you could have gotten around it or like I would have just denied out of my ass that I was masturbating unless I was like Bob. And then I heard, yeah, same on the window as I'm like, oh, like he literally caught me with my dick in my hand. Yeah.
Same I would have lied. I like what I was changing, I, I just, I peed in my pants or whatever.
I feel I had to piss in this can or would. Yeah. I would have lied to filming an episode of Pisspot. Yeah. Oh yeah. You don't watch Pisspot student.
So that is him on the last one in the six.
Oh yeah, yeah yeah. That's a video of him in the back of a cop car. Is there any, I mean is it, is it for sure going to court kind of thing or something like this. It's a misdemeanor. Whether or not you go down to jail and get them for a misdemeanor, we say, hey, this person is reputable enough that we can give them, unfortunately, when and where to be. Oh, my God.
Because she the unfortunate thing about an incident like this is it could just be a young guy jerking off in a car. Yeah. Or it could lead to other things or could be a sign of other bad things that could go on from that person. So the cops have to figure out, is this person just a fucking idiot?
Or they fuck in like a degenerate menace to society like these next two folk that we have here? Yeah, the first one I was educated by, you saw sort of the Charles Haley story. I never read that Cowboy's book until recently. It's amazing this and the fucking stories about this guy.
I mean, this one is very much more aggressive, way more. And I mean, sure, it involves cranking it quite a bit in public.
But this one he wants people to see and he'd be like jerking it in the in the locker room and team meetings, putting out at team meetings.
He'd go up to Joe Montana and be like, you know, you want to suck this sweet ass Joe Montana.
She's so he you're saying that he would he would aggressively walk up to people in the locker room on his team and be like, check out this dick. Right. And then sometimes he would come.
Yeah, he would he would he would jerk the completion. There was incidents where they'd walk into a meeting room and he'd be on the floor just being like, you know, you wish you had this. And he'd be cranking his dick on on the fucking thing. You know, he'd do it in the in the locker room to like female reporters and shit.
So what kind of disorder is that? Is that, well, fetish. They say that this is I have these quotes that totally stay.
I will go ahead.
I wanted to word these particular quotes because he was described as socially awkward and unflinchingly vicious, which is a great way to describe him and also quite imbalanced.
So those are like two ways that I think since his playing days, he's been diagnosed as bipolar or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but this is before his what would have been probably his brain damage that he had actual personality disorder. Definitely. Definitely.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm on that. He was also an excellent player.
Yeah. He would murder quarterbacks and then he'd be like, suck this fucking dick. Yeah. Some people say suck my dick as just like a dummy figuratively. Yes. He would actually pull his dick out, show it people like want you suck, which takes it to another level completely and also the way that I respect.
But yeah, it helps to, it makes it even more like vicious and dehumanizing that it's a really big dick from what people are saying on fucking fire hose.
Yeah. Really. Yes. And that's what he was so proud of it. Yeah.
Well, and also the football is such a homophobic sport. It's probably very powerful intimidation. Well, and it worked because he would be like you looking at my dick faggot. And he would be like, well, I can't help it. You're putting it in my face trial as the guy is trying to, like, go about his day, you know, could you imagine just like being in you show up in the meeting room like, all right, guys, we're going to take a look at the Seahawks spread formation here.
Oh, Charles, what?
The cornerback like what? And he wasn't team. If he wasn't good, like, he just would have been, like, cut.
Yeah, but he's a star player at the time and they're like one of our best players, you know, always jacking off in front of everyone.
And he's doing it in a menacing way. They was like just but it's not just jokey. That's menacing, you know. No.
Yeah, that's like, man, it's tough because there is the fun guy who shows his donc to people, you know what I mean? Like, there's always like the comic that's like chicken skin and shows you these are like a frat house. Yeah, it's it's a bird.
It's the burka. Burki is dicks out. Yeah. Yeah.
Bird shows his dick. Bird exposes himself.
Well to be fair, I haven't seen it in a long time, but he was like, you know, he's a naked frat dude. OK, yeah. But this is like imagine if Bert was like no fucking look at it.
Yeah. If he was and then he was like the watch me. Come on.
Hey man. I mean why you got to watch me. Come watch me come is the wrong level. Oh it's when he would say watch.
He would just he would just like to thank God the guys would laugh it off like he was frat boy Charlie over here. Yeah.
But then he would jizz and they'd be like, OK, that's a little that's what happened that time from my eye contact with the Almighty in a while. That was the nineties. Yeah.
This was right now it's been canceled because that's what happened when my friend's little brother was jerking off. I just want to show jerked out in front of us. You just don't expect people doing it for real.
And then you see the jizz and you're like, oh, you weren't joking. Like, that's a real. Yeah, that's crazy.
So Charles Haley did that. I mean, most of his offenses are against other men. So you can kind of be like, ha ha, you know.
Well, you don't know that that's all you know about. Well, she probably is doing that to women in his life. But I just like the idea of telling Joe Montana to suck his dick while he's drunk. That makes me smile year to year. I don't know why. It's fine. Just thinking at Joe Montana.
Joe, we'll be in Joe's got or he's got to be like Charlie in his personality. Charlie Yeah. You know how quiet Joe Joe Montana is. He's like Charles crazy.
You know, he came in. In front of me today, which was weird, and we won the Super Bowl, so this next fellow. Oh, yeah, this was about this.
This is one of the most alarming story, especially because I'm closer in age. Followed him like in college and into the NFL came from that family, so it's like all those elements, this becomes the most outrageous story, you know?
Well, yeah, I mean, this one is legit. Psychopathic levels of like there were the early signs, like he had moments like our boy Reese in the beginning, where in for instance, like he this is Kellen Winslow Junior. For the record, for those who don't know, he was a tight end. His father, legendary Hall of Famer, tight end Kellen Winslow, senior, both played for the Browns. He was drafted by the Browns.
Yeah, you know, and I remember Kellen being a Miami hurricane. Yeah. And he was on that, wasn't he? On the one like the greatest team of all time. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he was. That was like the air and he was drafted in the first round. I mean he was. Yeah, he's big time to be a superstar and his father's a legend.
So introductory season right after he's drafted, his father comes to Cleveland. They're supposed to do a photo shoot and stuff or like a video promo to be like father and son, the legacy, blah, blah, blah. And so they show up at the team facility in Birria, the fathers, they're the Browns people are there. Kellen Winslow Jr is not there. And they're like, kind of where is he? And they notice his Hummer is across the street at a guest parking lot.
And they're like, that's weird. So they sent one of the team people over to go check it out to see, like, I wonder why his car's here. We haven't seen him, you know, and he was in the back seat looking at porn, cranking it when he was supposed to be at an appointment. So, yeah, it's weird time.
Yeah. I just had to really get one out and know that that's just like some lackey that had to come back. Oh, the poor, the ball boy. The equipment got to like the president of personnel. He's like, you got to say this was in the back seat. I was in the back seat to take him in that. Well, not not yet.
But do you think that that guy had to knock on the glass and be like, yeah, no, I think he I think he peeked in and was like, I think he's I think he's jerking off. He was like a talent.
Kelin trying not to make him notice I'm over here.
That story came to light very late in life, comparatively to when it happened, because as time went on in, the man who's still on the team for a couple of seasons and notoriously his teammates would request not to be his roommate on the road and also to not sit with him on the plane because this man, he was known to, like Nadaf, jerk off on flights only he wouldn't go to the bathroom.
That's true. That is a nice thing that you did, because I know a lot of people jerk off on plane.
You know, a lot of people start off on planes in the Mile High Club. Isn't that that's not drinking. That's not how you do it. Yeah, that's that's having sex in the bathroom.
Yeah, that's the mile high club.
You know, a lot of people that I've heard male comics talk about jerking off under the blankets and stuff. I mean, I think with a person next to you.
Yeah, I'm sure I've heard this before. I feel like I've heard someone tell me. Well, I mean, then Kellen Winslow is not going to shock.
I know I know of one story of a guy getting a handle from a stranger on a flight, like on a late flight from a guy.
Yeah. Is that the story? That's a story. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You actually know the guy. Yeah. And he he got a handy from a woman he met on the flight. Well a woman. You said it was a no.
Yeah. That's the story. The guy we know the guy OK. And he, he got it from a stranger.
OK, well under a blanket. This isn't the case with Kellen Winslow Junior as he was going on business trips to other areas to, you know, with his teammates to compete in the professional ball.
Yeah, he would sit down.
Oh, hey, what's up, Joe Thomas? And he would like pull out his the DVD player and play hardcore pornography on it just in front of everybody and then jerk off that jerk off.
Sometimes you just watch it though, like it was a Marvel movie. They were like, hey man, we're all here.
Yeah. So those are just some of the tales that you hear about Kellen Winslow Junior on the road. Like Reese, you know, these things are like, well, that's a little weird.
Well, Kellen Winslow, Junior, the reason he's being taken in handcuffs here is because he was convicted of a multitude of rapes, uh, many of them all involving women above the age of 65 years old.
Oh, wow. 81 years old.
I want to get the charges correct. That's what I'm going to look at my phone here. You know, Josh, you really depends on the mood and your geriatric rape. Yeah.
And you think, like, I had a curiosity. I'm like, well, this is fetish. Was this what he's into?
It turns out this is just a classic case of preying on the vulnerable. Sure.
He was just raping whoever he could really be. And they don't want breaking into homes.
It is. Yes, that's a well, let's let's go through the charges here. There's an array of them. And they again, they all have the same sort of bent to it being elderly women. So he will spend several years in prison for. Raping a 58 year old homeless woman, exposing himself to a 59 year old woman in the middle of a spring day, and while she was in her garden, can you play the crying? Yeah, we can go through.
Also, he was making lewd gestures toward a 77 year old woman while she worked out and a jury remained hopelessly deadlocked on eight other charges.
Also, he was charged with breaking into the homes of two other women, ages 86 and 71, where he was believed intending to rape those women. So, yeah, was he convicted on any of the rapes that were just. Oh, he was convicted on? Well, here we go. Is exposing himself to the 59 year old woman in the middle of the spring day, blah, blah, blah, the lewd gestures. So I guess and he's in part convicted.
So some of the charges up and down. So I don't know that I guess maybe he didn't he didn't get charged for the rape or can you look that up?
Like, can you pull. Oh, I'm looking at it here.
It's as though the jury splits were said to be in favor of guilt on all eight charges of actual rape. He's been charged with raping two more women. The incidents taking place 15 years apart.
So, yes, he was at least two stuck and a long career, 15 years at least. Yes. So he's been doing this for I mean, this could have gone back to his college days light could have gone back to just be simple. Protos, he also just like was in such an easy like I remember the first time I ever heard of this guy other than the draft was he bought a Hayabusa and just like never took lessons on it and just wrote it on a highway, like crash into a parking lot and stuff like it's a high.
But you thought you saw that. It says he pled guilty to the rape of an unconscious teen, right? Oh, no, I did not see that in this article.
I just says on November 4th. Twenty nineteen.
Oh, that's very recent. This article is not as. Yeah. Pled guilty to the rape of an unconscious teen and sexual battery on a 54 year old hitchhiker as part of a plea deal in exchange for his guilty plea at San Diego County Superior Court, the court agreed to sentence him to between 12 and 18 years in prison rather than life imprisonment. If he was convicted in a retrial as part of the agreement, he will automatically be on lifetime parole.
Immediately upon release, he waived his right to ever appeal any conviction or verdict in either trial. The attorney said his client suffered from frontal lobe damage and possible CTE. While CTE could not be used as the defense in the trial, brain trauma was cited by his attorneys in requesting the minimum 12 year sentence. Clinical psychologist stated that Wenzel had symptoms that were consistent with CTE.
Yeah, you can't. You sit in a court because every football player ever does anything like man. Well, especially because this was 15 years ago. He's raping.
He was also charged with felony first degree burglary.
The boy is a real treat and he's got he was arrested on kidnapping and rape charges is really such a menace.
Like, it's bizarre how long he got to, like, the fact that it all rolled out. Good seeing you, man.
We saw the spectrum, that's all.
You know, we got we go from rece. We should have started Kellen Winslow Junior maybe got him out of the way and then ended on a happy note, like Reese McGuire, who's just a poor guy trying to get a nut off when he's got three roommates.
Yeah, that in spring training. That is that's very different. Actually, it is so different. Thank you, Josh. Yeah.
They throw them in together. Yeah. Oh. By the way, with you know, I was just thinking about having butt plugs obviously on the right. You said there was a man with a plan.
Oh I saw. Yeah. He had that post in his body. Yeah. But what would you. Is there a dollar amount you would do like a chill.
Not so hard. Hard core gassin. You know, it's a gassin meal like so it's just you and a couple of guys, you're just like yeah. You're just watching like a Buffalo Bills game guys the scene. And then like, well you're going to.
One of the guys just reaches over and he's like, man, you seem real tense. You're like, well, this is my favorite team.
And then you get to keep watching the game and these two guys blow you.
OK, you know, I'm not like homophobe or anything like that. I just don't know that I would get I would be able to perform in their gay arena.
But he's saying that they blow, you know. Yeah, yeah. Just saying you would have to get it right for that's the thing.
I don't I would I OK, here's the thing. They give you a Viagra and you're that would help.
OK, and then but is there a dollar amount you would need to do this and think really think about it and don't be like one million dollars. No, I wouldn't. I mean, I like I'm the other way around.
You have to be like, really that's the amount like 20 grand. Come on dude.
Have a little pride. Yeah. I'm trying to think maybe like a six figure amount.
Oh I got a thousand. Yeah. It's a lot of money. It's a good amount of money. It's a that's a lot more than women make for doing that kind of thing. Or gay porn. I would say the. Going rate for something like that would be like for Jews, for Jews, for like a regular right, for regular performer.
But what about to do what Pierce did for the opening of our live show where we put that Bob plug in you?
Well, that's fun. I would do that for. Fun, she. No, I mean, I don't think we just found our next cold. I've done I've done a lot of fucked up shit like that. Would you get pegged? I mean, what I get pegged, it depends on the size of the thing.
And small. Small. Yeah. I wouldn't I would entertain a small apparatus.
I mean, the thing is, I don't think don't forget, you have to clean yourself out. Pearce had to clean himself. No, no, no.
I've got I recently experimented with a young lady who had the desire to do those types of things. We never got around to it. But we've we what's the word like breached the area, you know, like went through the steps. So, you know, I'm not adverse to it, I suppose.
OK, you breach the step. So what are you talking about? You know, like a finger and like a teensy little toy. She put a finger in your behalf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a little tiny toy. Were you nervous about that? I mean, I made very, um.
I mean, this was all plotted out. So I made very like, extraordinary plans to like, make sure that that wouldn't happen. How's that?
I just didn't eat the day before I had a surprise flinger last time happened to me was twenty years ago and it was a surprise finger and it was very chocolaty when it came out.
That's why I did that to a lady one time, who it was a surprise finger on my part.
Sorry, that came out a little chocolaty as well and I was like, yeah, put it on her bed, you know.
Yeah. Know I actually so I returned the first two. I've told the story, I return the favor and gave her the the finger and then just remember going to bed and waking up and I saw chocolate dried on my finger.
I didn't realize the night before I smelled it. Oh you didn't like it off like Cheeto does. So I was like, oh no.
I just ran to the bathroom and washed it off to eat, slept with that, slept with the truck.
You have to be aware of that, too, because you don't want to put it up in her. Her. That's right. I after that. That's true in her.
Lesra Well, my deck was in her vagina, so it wasn't really a concern, which was this.
I don't know.
She was nasty. So. All right. Um, yeah. So you're doing cameos.
Oh yeah. You know, we got the cameo going. We got the twitch go in. You know, anything to stay alive during the time of my stand up? Yep. Um, I don't know. Maybe this is my life forever. I'm starting to feel that way. I don't know when I'll do standup ever again. Yeah, but do you think you'll do it again?
I really want to I really want to meet. I miss it a lot. It's what sucks is I got these phone calls about oh by the way, I haven't canceled dates, if you like. Some people are like you can't I didn't cancel anything.
I mean, either they find out from people who bought tickets, they tell me that it's they're canceling.
So I had was supposed to do shows, I think, next week and that got canceled. I know it's not happening. All my dates have been I had things that were going to happen in August, September. They got moved to November, December, in some cases, January, February. Then I had like a tour, like a big tour planned for January. Initially it was moved to April. I found out last week I got a call there like, hey, your April dates, like you're April May.
Stuff that we had moved from beginning of the year.
We moved it to July because that's like a big place. So that's like, yeah, big a big venue.
And they're like. So now that touring starts in July. So a year from now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So everything I'm doing, everything I have is pushed also I have November but who knows. Yeah. And so we'll see. But yeah Twitch and Cameo hit me up on those things.
We go let's rock and roll. All right. Thanks for coming by. Thanks for having me.
Sorry about Kellen Winslow, who I was. We'll be right back. Jean, did you know that I used to speak German in college?
Well, I'm from high school, huh? Yeah. Bankoff Yeah. And now all I can say is for beatniks, Chanel, which is please don't drive so fast. Oh, I would like to brush up on my German and I do now using Babul. It's fantastic.
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It literally is, because I'll take my hat off to shower and you're like, you don't have to do the hair. You don't you don't have to. Why are you taking it off?
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Optimize your performance with Woop and we're back. That was a really uplifting segment with Josh. It's nice to hear about people raping the elderly.
Jesus, you don't get to hear about it very often and when you do, you usually put it out of your mind and now it's right there in the front.
Yeah, thanks, George. It's really nice.
Yeah. So one of the things we wanted to do is call Top Dog to get his feedback on that because he was really he was like I could tell he was in his element.
He was the star of the show. Let's be real people really enjoyed seeing him for the first time and also getting to know him a little bit.
It was cool. Yeah, it was really cool. And he's the he's the hidden gem here. We're going to have to talk to him. Yeah. Hello, Dad. Hey, buddy, how are you doing? Good. How's it going, man? Oh, just another day in Groundhog Day. You know, I actually went to the hospital this morning by made my blood work was really good.
Oh, great. Great. That's good to hear, man. We were just talking about how much fun we had on the live show and how life.
What's that? I was fun, yeah, so I was calling you to see, like, if you had a good time doing it. I had a great time doing it. Yeah, because without the fans really enjoyed you, they also noticed that my mom was pretty lit for that. Lit. He was a barn fire, OK, yeah, yeah, lit on it, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much did she drink?
Well, you know, there's a couple of secrets in life, how much gold there is in Fort Knox and how much she had to drink that night. OK, I think she hit two and a half glasses.
Oh, that's for her. Is is like it's like saying two and a half bottles. It is, it is I mean, this is a person I've seen kind of get goofy, about a half a glass, OK? It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. It's just her tolerance. It's just I don't know how much.
Yeah, it is it's always been like that, I remember, always been like that, I saw one time just completely hammered and it was off of, I think, two glasses of wine and I mean hammered.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just it's just I don't know what goes on and a little body hurts, but wow. Wow.
Tight race top dog. I had a question, a follow up question from the live show. Yeah. Um, Charas attitude towards the male genitalia seems a little less than positive. How does that make you feel?
Well, you noticed that I noticed that on our honey. OK? And you're like, this is why this is going to be a problem.
I noticed that. Yes, I noticed it. Yeah. Yeah. She really describes it as a monstrosity. She thinks it's disgusting. That's those are those are. She didn't quite use those words personally, but she more is in the comedy category, right? But all women are ultimately saved by orgasm, you know, and if they can get there.
So anyway, um, what was your favorite clip that we showed you?
Well, you know, I have seen the items and stuff like that, as I said in the show, since the Shelby County Fair when I was 16 years old, I saw some things in the Philippines wants to, which I didn't want to.
But Saltum, Filipino community, but I think can you tell me what you saw in the lab in Sangar?
What's that? Oh, you said the lady banging her purse. Yeah, that was that was I needed to do a double take on that one, and that one traumatized me, too.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, the first thing I saw when I saw that, I said, you know, she's probably not a virgin. Yeah, that's true.
First of all, do you want me to send you that video? I can text it to you.
No, that's OK, that's OK, it it's it's permanently ingrained in my mind, you know, there are certain things, you know, there are certain things in life that you just don't forget.
Yeah, that's one. That's one of them. Yeah. We got to choose. I'm not convinced.
What do you see in the Philippines? It's not good, I mean, you just happened to be there, it's not I don't think it's insulting to the Filipino people. Well, we were in a bar in long ago, and that was just outside of the bay and this. This Filipino girl convinced this guy that if you blow on someone's asshole, blow air.
Keeps it keeps them from city, OK? On top of them. OK, OK. And he shot himself for that one.
OK, so what happens then? How does this how does this play out?
She should seek it out. OK. On face. Who's he talking to? She's laying down there and he's blowing onerous so much as he can, and the whole idea was that would keep your asshole from opening that. That's why people pay to watch this.
And you guys signed. Oh, yeah, I saw that and so easily so he sits under her and blows air like, oh yeah, he's laying there, he's laying down, he's laying down under.
So she's not laying down. She's seated. Si, si. Yes, kind of squatting over him like that, he's laying down on the stage and then he's blowing air up at her asshole.
Blowing up, blowing the air up, so thinking that that's going to keep her from shirty, right?
That's the gag. And then she just shits right in his mouth. And it swells on its face and, yeah, is able to close its mouth fairly quickly, but, you know, that was that a friend of yours? No, no, it was not a friend of mine. But, you know, I was in those days, I was an officer, so I'm not supposed to do those kind of things. I just sit back there and watch it.
But you get when you get a bunch of sailors and Marines who are on a ship. Yeah. Where there is no alcohol. Yeah. For like weeks. Yeah. They're all skinny. They have no tolerance for alcohol at all. OK. Right. And suddenly and they haven't seen the woman in women on ships in those days. So two things are at play here. Haven't seen the woman for months. Haven't had a drop of alcohol for months.
Oh my God. And then all of a sudden now it makes her in a bar with lots of alcohol.
And, you know, and I definitely would have been that guy.
I would have been that guy. I would have been like, I get to blow air in your asshole like and then I won't shit. And I'm like, let's see.
Yeah, but the but the you know, the Shelby County Fair, of course, is the first time I ever saw a woman's vagina that was in Shelby County Fair.
And, you know, my opening round is, you know, ping pong balls being shot at. And then they put the cigarette in there and they smoke a cigarette.
Yeah, I mean, this is kind of wild. The Shelby County Fair has this only because in my mind, we're going back to a different time. This had to be like late 50s, early 60s. And I just don't imagine this was 1968.
This was 1963 in September at about five fifty seven pm.
And you I mean, so was it was it always the old days. Yeah, it was this derelicts.
They're like toothless rednecks or what. No, what was there? Well, they had just Shelby County is it just a lot of country people, but, you know, it was a lot of a bunch of us from Oklahoma City. We went out there because, I mean, there are other things in there besides that. But I don't remember what else was in the besides there.
Yes, I was kind of.
But I mean, here there was a Ferris wheel, right?
Like like there was a normal fare where you could win prizes and then a Ferris wheel and then there's a tent and the woman is shooting a ping pong ball. Exactly.
There's a tent. Exactly. Cool. Well, look, the cops have shut this down years ago, but at that time, this is. This is going back to good old boy days. OK, so look, I really would love to do another live video thing, probably with just you. And I think we'll get we'll get your headphones and a better mike and everything just to, like, enhance the production of it. But we'll definitely do that again, OK?
OK, that'll be fun. OK. A lot of fun. Yeah. And we'll show you more cool clips and everything. OK.
All right. Oh yeah. Yeah definitely. Yeah. Take care. I love you. I love you.
Got the stammering when people are like well it's like Jesus Christ. Spit it the fuck out. I think you need to crank another one now. Well, I think you're just he's your dad, so it's probably annoying for you to hear him talk.
You know what it is? I don't know. And they're your parents. I mean, I get how that was annoying or.
No, no, no. I was like a pretty normal normal, but yeah, I like that.
But I mean, I think that's like how you and all your siblings are towards your parents in general. Like what seems like a tolerable check to me would get you guys Peiping at the top of your lungs. Because my sister flipped out. Right. She flipped out exactly the same way I've seen you flip out on your parents. It's like, oh, okay. So this is just like how they this is the family dynamic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My younger sister says the craziest shit to my parents, but she's just super I mean really insultingly. She'll be like, no, I didn't know you guys were so fucking stupid. I wouldn't even be like she'll say crazy.
Oh my God. Yeah. But one thing I to go. Yeah, he just takes it. The one thing I did see that really made me laugh was on a cruise one time and your little sister and your dad, your dad was going in to kiss your little sister on the cheek and she's like, God, dad, your breath.
And then like shoved the piece of gum and she's like, yeah, thank you.
Yeah. Like, he doesn't even flinch.
He's got that mouth serious dad mouth. Yeah. Yeah. But he goes he's a true dad and that he has dad mouth. He likes the news which real dads love knowing what's going on in the world.
That's what you do every morning. You wake up and you need to know the news, what's going on, the news.
That's what a dad does. I read some articles, get my dad. Can you believe what they're doing?
And then you do. Your dad farts. This morning you farted and Ellis was like, dad farted.
Yeah, there's dad farts, dad news, dad chairs. There's a whole dad cultural.
I farted so good the other day that I almost jerked off to that to a because it was such a it was such a relief such again it was so loud and it was, it was so powerful and base I could feel it like stretching out my asshole. It's such a strong fart and it was such a relief that I was like, I almost want to jerk off to how good.
Yeah. Can you jerk off to a good party? You definitely cannot talk to people. You can, but it was pretty amazing.
I can tell you what I feel is a bit of a waste in the world that I get upset when I sit down to pee. And then because I'm pushing to pee, the fart sneak out. I feel like you lose credit on those pee farts, you know what I'm saying? Because I could have entertained you or the children with them and no one I know.
Well, that's why men are at an advantage when we're at a urinal, because sometimes we'll be at a urinal and help and someone will fart. And then sometimes you have to. Sometimes it's thought of as rude, but sometimes people will be like, that's pretty good one. Not really.
One time I was peeing and there's an old guy next to me farted at the urinal and he goes, that one snuck out.
You know the old guy, do you? I would kind of secretly really enjoy that, though.
Yeah, no. Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's cool. It's like a bonus when a guy farts at a urinal, right. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I mean but you kind of hold it to. Right. Like in some situations if you're at a urinal, careful around not not you push this fart out, it's like kind of sneaks out.
So but you're saying you always go for it.
Dude, I'm in a urinal full of dudes. You'll just fart. Yeah. OK, yeah. I guess that's what I mean. No I'm not. That's, that's why you do it.
I bet you a million dollars Chris does not do the same. Chris, you push out farts at a urinal to let the other guys know.
I most certainly do that.
Oh, know what?
I'm in the bathroom. I mean, it's the one place you should be farting.
Wow. Wow. With no shame at all. Women are not the same. Absolutely no shit. Wow. Yeah. I'm a little I'm a little hesitant at times. I mean, like times I'll just I'll still fart. But I'm saying I won't just be like I don't give a shit like, you know. Oh yeah.
I'll be embarrassed. And women do not women don't really like to fart while they're drowning in public either. Like we get nervous and shy around each other. Yeah. It's not common to let it loose.
So has anyone ever genuinely complimented your fart like a stranger while you're being watched in any situation? Me know either of you? Oh, I don't think so, really, you know what happens in the bathroom and if you want to get one of those, really good for you. I mean, like I wrote on that good feeling for, like, at least what happened.
You farted and like, I farted just for me. I wasn't doing it for anyone. Yeah. And then you fart out and then the guy like two urinals over for me because it was there was the buffer urinal. Yeah. It's like, dude, nice.
Yeah. Wow. Like fuck. Yeah. It was nice. Yeah. That's pretty cool. It was great. I'm going to start going for it more. I think you should. I think you're like you used to start go off where you used to remember when you gave up.
It was the year, it's like two thousand seventeen.
I have farted at many a urinal. I'm making the point that I put a little thought into some of those farts before they come out. That's all my greatest fart is.
Everybody knows who's a fan of the show was the Cincinnati Fart. That happened when I was five months pregnant. Well, in twenty eighteen during your cousin Jeanette's wedding.
Yeah, yeah. We were in Cincinnati. That's right. A hotel room. Yeah.
And I stood up to get out of the room and I stopped in the doorway and I ripped the longest, nastiest part of my life that was so nasty and that was really cool.
That was the coolest fire that ever had. What's your coolest, far memory? I don't know. You don't have he looking for me?
I'm ready. This is this is what I wait for. All episode OK, here we go.
Your coolest part yet. Here we go. Wake up, people, we're fighting a war between good and evil. I will die standing before I kneel. I will only kneel for my creator. The rest of you can kiss my natural American ass. And before you say anything, the Supreme Court has made it clear you don't need allies to. And I had someone tell me this earlier and I figured I'd pass it out there to all of you are on suspension.
He looks good. Supreme Court has made it totally legal to you to drive for commerce like food, groceries, whatever, you know, and with your local governments permission to be a driver if you're working. The Supreme Court did that, patristic. God bless America, pray for our president, stop falling for the bullshit. Yeah, I don't know the Supremes.
You know, it's cool that everybody with this perspective looks like this, like people who think like this. Have a look. One hundred.
And it's usually shitty wraparound shades. Yeah. No neck and talking in circles. That was complete nonsense.
Nonsense and red bleeding gums. Yeah, I've noticed that they don't floss very well as I like to say. Great talk.
I got it. I created the fucking earth and worked my fucking ass off and it had happened and been through and fucking done shit that fucking I could fucking prove it and I can do a lot fucking more than that. And my fucking kids get taken and I get told to live under a fucking bridge. Wow. Spoiled rotten little fucking bitches dude. Every last one of you you should see what the fuck I can do. Oh, in this video, in my words, just probably just fucking sent you through the fucking roof door.
No shit. That's why everything is through the fucking roof, because you're all fucking using and running around and doing shit that you fucking need to. He's a really intense talks this week. Q Thank you. You know, Tom, yeah, as usual, I have my finger on the pulse of the world and people are angrier and angrier these days.
Yeah. You know, this one made I'll tell you, this really makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, well, it seems like it's a real problem.
He's a real problem. All of his talks are in this vein of anger. Rage is. Oh, the last one was that he invented the remote controls and he's being controlled is totally, totally out of his mind.
OK, he has kids and not anymore, as you can tell. OK, all right. I to kind of shake this one off short forward here.
Sure. Happy birthday to my brother, Thomas. Happy birthday, Thomas. And roses in the pool swimming. And I'm and I'm in the pool. Just hang out. Hi, guys. And hello. And how are you today?
In case you didn't know, they're in the pool. He's in the pool and he's saying happy birthday. Yeah. This is this this is a continuation of pool mom where she gave them kisses last week. And now this week they're saying happy birthday.
All right. Well, move on.
I hope you don't mind me saying twenty. Twenty Trump Beach.
There you go. No endorsement. Another pro Trump. Yeah, lots. Like you said, all very similar, but a really cool look over the.
Yeah. Politics on talk has a real look.
Mm. Yeah. There's no Confederate flag behind. You think he looks really cool. He's got great talk.
Girls like me, all girls find me, all the girls like me. Because that's the real world. Yeah. All the girls like me because otherwise I, all the girls love me because I feel the girls love me and like all the girls I could.
What don't be a hater, Tom, all the girls like him, maybe you could take a little page out of his book and be romantic and write me a song every now and then.
Home grown? Yeah, this is an old song, Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear. He's so right. He's so right. You're his teddy bear. Yeah, yeah. Your teddy bear. And there's this home grown because these teddy bear.
Is there a song called. Is this like a real song that he's just singing, I don't know, I don't know, this kind of music is the country's thing for me, like.
Don't look at me like that, is this this last one, the fucking same thing? I don't know. What is it?
I don't mean what do you want? It's bringing me joy. OK. This was a piece of my heart from when I was building Mars in my heart was chiseled with a pickaxe and it was turned and this was turned into a necklace, was wore around by somebody, and it was broke off and lost and it washed up in the creek. And my brother found it. Let him eat it well, all. Everything would be OK, but that is neat that he found a rock from Mars.
I mean, most people don't do that. He's a space traveler, Tom. OK, I mean, by the way, I want to make this point real quick, because it's a roller coaster with this live show thing. Yeah. If between now, when we record this and when this is posted, we have a new home for it will put it here on the show.
You know, I mean, if you figure this out, like after we record this. So if anybody wants to. Find the new home of it. We'll try to throw it right here. You know, it's so funny is that we just keep getting fired. Yeah, like, remember, we got fired by McDonald's. We had to give back 2.5 million dollars. We got fired from Morten's. And now we're getting fired from this year's people to what they're called.
Yeah, yeah. And check the description in the link for the link of wherever we hope it ends up.
Yeah, they fucking fired us.
They told us Friday that we had broken their records and today they're like, we can't have we can't work with you.
Even though we approved of what you did, this crazy, it's not fair at all, and look, McDonald's too, I mean, they should have done their vetting.
Yeah, but we got them back with that with that with those nuggets we got right at them.
And it was Uncle Terry that pushed them over the limit.
That's true. Yeah.
But anyway, we're going to figure it out, guys. We're going to get back on the air uncensored.
We're going to figure out a way we keep getting fired, but we're going to figure out I should send those people my, my, my soundboard.
Is this the problem? And it's just it's just it seems like guys coming is one of my page.
So that's so. Yes, I play Ed Asner.
We haven't heard him come today. How many times? Many, many times.
Oh oh oh oh. That's where it spits.
OK, all right.
We got to wrap it up you guys. It's a lot of fun. Thank you as always for listening. For watching. We cleaned up some of the store at Macbeth.
If you go to Martha Dotcom slash Thompson girl, there's new stuff there. And yeah, we'll try to solve this live thing. We're definitely doing more of them. So we will be back with you soon. Have a great night. Day, week. Goodbye.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh my God. That bird, bird, bird. Krisha's bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap. Enjoy them all they get all the fat is coming today and be on the lake motherfuckers. So my brother my.
Why don't you give your. Let me read to you. But the fact that. Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great.