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Good morning. My over eighteen queens.

Let's have a great day and do me a favor for your friend Tommy.

Here, let those boobs hang and you know, let's say a couple of videos. Send me a couple of videos. Let's all have fun today.

It's for everybody, not just him. No, you're going to like the developments on that guy, by the way. Yeah, his talks have.

It's it's gone to your place. Yeah. Big. Yes, guys, I love that.

The the the way that that guy starts, he's like, good morning. Let your boobs hang. And then and then he's like, let's all let's all have a great day. Like we're all in this together. You know, it's like saying like good morning, let's meditate, do some yoga and let's all have a great day.

Well, because it's in the girl's interest. Right. Right. It's fun for her to send her boob pics to him.

And then he's like, See, I started the fun. Yeah. Wow.

All of us. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Very cool. Very cool guy.

Very cool. The world is so cool right now.

I feel like everything's just normal and awesome and. Yeah.

Right. Everything's going well. Everything's going well. Nothing to report. Nothing to see here. Looking forward to Halloween Tom.

Halloween should be a really good time. Are you going to dress up.

Halloween's canceled. I know Halloween is canceled. I now I'm going to do something at home for the kids.

I think just to have a little party at the house for that. It changes all those twenty first birthday pretty soon to Josh Solo. Who's that? He works here. He's oh the young baby. Hello.

Oh hey man. Nice to meet you. I hope you have a good birthday.

What's you turning. Uh, he's turning twenty one. That's a big one. October 18th and I'm a big one. You can jack off in public now.

Ten point one. It's not against the law anymore. It's pretty cool. I didn't realize what did you do for your 21st birthday jacked off in this lady's face? It was a library. Uh, a library is like, are you 21? She flipped it off. Right.

Did you get registered to anyone right now?

No, I was actually, you know, where I was in Tunisia. You in this Tunisian or you bring her up, she was like the one that got away. No, she's not the one that got away. You asked me where I was. I was the one that gave you AIDS. No, I was actually putting the moves on the Spanish girl on my 21st birthday, and then her sister started to hit on me.

So I thought I was going to get the old Rudy tutee fresh from these two Spanish chicks.

And then their dad was like, hey, you know, why don't my daughters.

You thought you were going to hook up with sisters? I did. Yeah. Yeah. It was one hotter than the other. Yup. Like, significantly. Which one, though, sister? The one you were talking to.

The one that was more like, you know, attitude was hotter. You like the attitude. So I like attitude. You do. You like a shitty attitude.

I like a bad attitude or a bad ass bitch. Now let me ask you something, though, because when I'm nice to you. Yeah. And I bake you pies and I'm sweet, does that turn you off?

No, not at all. No. OK, so we're in a loving marriage. It's totally different. I'm talking about like straight up slut shit.

OK, but you do I do have a bad attitude from time to time. And does that still make your day card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. I was hesitant. No, not hesitant. No, I'm telling you I'm like, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. All right. But I mean, here's the thing.

I don't want you to be an asshole.

That that's not exactly not attractive. No, not in a marriage partner. It's not. Hell, no. I don't like that either. You know, that's not a turn on.

But you do like my Eastern Bloc, Yoenis, when I'm like, OK, like, for instance, when we're driving and be like, stupid fucking bitch, get out of the fucking way like that.

See how you smile right now. It makes me laugh. Yeah. Like I feel like you like that hostility when I get angry for no reason. When I get angry at stuff I find that you enjoy it.

This fucking retarded fucking asshole, right? And then you're like, yeah, that fucking asshole, like you kind of like that. Yeah, I like that. No.

Here's what I don't like. I don't like like I'm talking about I have to go back to being single, but like I don't like. Yeah. Uh, I don't know whatever you want to do. Yeah. That turns me off.

I agree. That's, I like, I like what I like is I like decisiveness. Like assertiveness. Right. You know, a personality like a. Yeah. Personality. Kjos. What is that that someone that's you, that is a phone. My phone with these kids for lunch. Hold on, Dad, get your phone out. Hold on, guys.

Leave this in the show. You have to see this. Wait, let's see. What Dad has is a phone.

Now you're going to die. I think we should start the show first.

Oh, right here. You guys are really going to enjoy this part. Jesus, that was terrible.

How angry would you have been if that were my father? I would have gotten really mad. Yeah. Or like Nadav. Would we go straight to chiropractic stuff today if that were Madame's phone? I would have given him an adjustment.

Oh, yeah, you got lucky today.

Sorry, guys. Hey, guys, I'm sorry.

I saw I saw you so you wouldn't be able to do like. You're banging your mike again. I know, because I like how yours looks and mine covers my beautiful face. OK, so you want to be able to be with, like, a docile Asian MITSUSE lady? You know what they're like.

Plash. I like you. Wouldn't you want to be able to be with the kind of woman my dad loves? Just like hated. Hated, which is I want to bring me a plate of salami, something nice. I went out on dates with a couple of girls like that who I was just like, you know, I fucking want to put your head through that table right now. Yeah, with how?

Like, what do you like to do? I don't know. I hate I don't know. What kind of movies do you like my numbers on that. Can I tell you what my pet peeve is.

Where do you want to go now. I don't know, I that makes that makes more, you know. Yeah. You know, it makes me even angrier. But what kind of music do you like. All kinds. No you don't. Yeah. Nobody likes every muscle car, all the musics. You can't like all music. It's not possible.

Every all music is folk music.

Do you like a polka. Yeah. Yeah. All country. Yeah.

If it's nice. If it sounds nice then I like it. Like know what kind of food you like. Tastes good.

I'll eat it. OK, that's so annoying. So much. Chop your fucking earlobes off.

Uh daddy's angry. All right. You ready. I'm ready. I got a good one here. Don't touch my microphone. Touch your mic.

You can touch it. Let's do it.

I'll be honest with you. I don't mind if a woman uses me for money as long as she's willing to come on my face.

No quid pro quo.

Shackley always. Randy, don't bring anyone loving to live. No. Well welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with don't support. Christina. How what that first of all, I'll say it a lot of times people say it and they're completely off, but in this case, I will concede this guy looks just like me and I like him.

He does. This is my twin brother.

You know how many people are obsessed with finding people you look like? No, I notice it's a constant influx of emails and tweets and so many are so wrong.

So wrong. But every once in a while, there's one that'll make me jump. Like Robbie, like Wolf and this guy right here, I'm feeling it.

You know, it is I think it's I dig his vibe so much. I like the jewelry. I like this is me. If I'm if I'm single, right, I'd be like, oh, I'd be like a ladies. Yeah, I got some money. I want to piss on my balls that I don't mind.

I'll take you shopping. You just you just buy one. But I agree. I'm trying to think you really would go that far out. I do think there's an age where you're just like, I don't give a shit like that's where this thing is.

Like once you go like if I go I don't want to like I'm not going to a family, then I'd lean right into the you know, I mean, like, if you don't have kids, you can do whatever you want.

Right. So right now, you know, let's say I was single right now. I'd still be like, I'm in the window. I could still have a family. Right. If I was single, I could still meet someone, have a family. But you put another ten years on me, I'd be like, no, no, no, no. I'd go like, what was the guy the other guy on the Bunny Ranch.

Oh, God, that guy Dennis. Dennis dad's dead now, but I it's so awful.

I like what I run a little brothel Bunny Ranch. Yeah he did. And he loved a sunrise. There you go. That was what's her name like sunshine or something. That's me.

If I never had kids right now that's every guy. I got my whores. Absolutely.

I had cigars and stuff like that. Yeah.

You know, it's so I love Dennis. I love this guy so much because he's so profoundly.

I like that headline says dead brothel owner Dennis Hopper. Wait, what is that headline?

I'm in the middle of a thought, Tom. Go ahead. I'm saying that what I love about these old guys is that they're so fucking unattractive.

Yeah, yeah. And they're just big fat pig.

That's that's what he's saying. So that's the message you are his message is use me for money. Just also put out. That's all of this. It's all I want you to do.

Just put out and I don't care if you take my money, but it is an even exchange. It's an actual it's a good exchange. I mean, he's like it is a good exchange.

I'm disgusting. I'm old. You're young and hot. Can you make a larger use me.

Yeah. Than he is me. Yeah. So this is I don't know if it's an old story or not, but it says brothel owner or television star. He died at seventy two. It's just not that old at all. Um won the race for Nevada's thirty six assembly district on Tuesday.

So you won an election. Wow. The late the late Dennis off a Donald Trump style Republican candidate defeated Democrat in the contest.

Jesus, what happens when you die and win an election, though? Not that that could happen in the upcoming election.

I know just for the sake of argument sake of the earth, what could happen? So this guy, he won. Let's see, the late Nevada brothel owner also had a presence in entertainment world. Is that. Yes, right. Remember HBO's Cathouse? That was a great show. Yeah, we like that.

He took inspiration from Trump's book, The Art of the Deal. OK, Go wrote. He wrote The Art of the Pimp. Oh, lovely.

Yeah. Yeah, good. Wow. But he wasn't a straight up, like street pimp, you know.

No, he gave them a nice house.

And, you know, they they paid they paid rent for that room at the brothel and then they make their own money.

So it's not it wasn't like, you know, street pimps are like, it's my money. You work for me here.

He was basically in business with them. Right.

So it was a mutually beneficial authority. And he provided alcohol. Yeah, entertainment. A women's lounge. It's not completely right. That's why I'm upset with it. And I just want to put my arm here and I can't. Hmm, members sometimes in the summertime, he would let them swim in the pool, in the backyard, let them, and now remember that you know what?

I have to check my. Let me see here.

Oh, yeah, I remember that. I was reading it.

Yeah. Um, how embarrassing is your new phone? What is it called?

A phone booklet. I believe it's like a check booklet. Like my mom used to have one in the 80s on it.

Come on, Mom, if you don't mind, I'm reading something. I'd like to keep it private. Thank you so gay. Oh, my God, you don't realize how so gay and that's so gay.

I look like I'm going to get you this one book themed phone case.

The cool thing is that I accidentally bought this, so I ordered off new iPhones.

Yeah, I ordered us cases. Yeah. And I guess on the app I was just like, cool this color in that color. I just got blue and I got you. I don't forget what I got you.

And then when it arrived, I have this thing where I have anxiety about opening the new phone because I fear the transfer of data. Oh, my God.

All right. So I left it in the box for like a month. Yeah, I bought a new phone. I was like, I don't want to open it.

I don't have to think it well, because, you know, you're going to end up at the iPhone store and there is no iPhones right now, so you're screwed. But I finally opened it, transferred. And I'm like, all right, I got to put the case on it. And I get this case that I'm like, what the fuck?

And it's got the bifold on it.

And then I keep all my important documents here. So I keep my birth certificate and my Social Security card because and then sometimes I'll wear a laminate around my neck like that says my name is Tom. If you need help, ask me and I offer help to people.

That is this is one of the signs of your deteriorating and you're almost on death's door. This morning.

We saw a woman just walking in the middle of our street and she had around her neck one of those what is it called? The lanyard. Yeah, thick ribbon. And then with her information on her chest, like, oh, you're about to die crazy when you see that in Europe, like when you're walking.

Oh, it's an American. Like, my name is Shannon and I'm staying at this hotel.

Yeah. Rob me parlez vous anglais. And then I like to think that someone's going to take her thing and be like, oh yeah, I can help you. No problem. No problem. Coming to the back of the car, take your panties off. I know.

I think Americans think Europe is Disneyland. And it's not like it's just another country place. It's country place crime. I'm sorry. My brain is I woke up twice last night with our children.

We live in North America, a country place so tired I woke up. But when I am with one kid who pissed the bed and then finally and with the other kid crying. Yeah, I'm sorry. Did Tom wake up?

No. Come on. My face. Um, so you like this guy?

I like that you respect this guy's arrangement, though, you know, I tell you, I used to be. It's not for me. Right. It doesn't work for me.

But I think there are some women in the world. But it's great that he's direct, right? Yes. It should be out there.

It should be in people's wills. Like, you know, if there's an old billionaire and he's on his deathbed and he wants to spend the last three months of his life getting sucked off by some hot, big titted animal, then, yeah, that's his right. That's how he spends his money. Yeah. I think prostitution should be legal.

No, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement. And there are some women who don't have an education, who can't make a living for them or just fucking awesome people.

The I there's some women that are fucking right.

Yeah. And then there are some women who you don't expect to see that kind of stuff from and then you check your Twitter account. And you're like, wow, there's a big badge on my feed. Yeah, like that. Trish Yo yo yes she yea though.

I mean here's the deal man. Look again, get your hustle on. Yes, but I think it's just weird when you see somebody one way like you see them talk on a podcast and then the next minute you see there you go down think.

Oh right. You know, there's just the whole you oh, and here's. OK. It's so weird, why does it weird me out, I guess because, like, I feel as though I know her a little bit from social media and then and then to see her vagina up close like that, I'm like, oh, oh, right. Like, I just I like I, I feel like I know you and I see her vagina.

Oh good. With this. You can take this down.

Thank you. We can. Can I read the caption though. I'd like to read the tweet that goes along so fucking hard core. It says who's eaten it.

Eighteen plus new pussy lick invid up now like wow bitch.

Wow. Yeah. I mean I'm not hating on it, I'm not hating on, on the concept of doing this.

I will say I'm not such a fan of what I'm seeing, but I'm not mad at the idea or the concept of doing.

Now what are you saying. Just it's a it's a it's I'm saying specifically I probably wouldn't sign up for this. Oh, she's nice. She's not your jam.

There you go. That's why those are the words I was looking for. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You can remove it now from the vagina.

I was so big and meaty and like I, I guess I, I have the perfect guy for her though.

You won't see many. I found the perfect guy.

The perfect guy. I said I'm working and he g l garbage dump here in Abbotsford and I'm there from Monday to Friday to make about a hundred bucks a day. And basically if you're a female who wants to hook up, you have to see me after work. We and I won't be in my RV because I'm going to get it done Friday. Well, the brakes on it, you'll have to come and see me in my tent and live in charity and make your fucking.

But at least we call on you in handcuffs. I got sitting here in your vehicle delivering. Should have you up your ass in your car and your tits. Oh, wow. Thank you. So all of my candidates and basically fuck the shit out here until you're done get die. Okay. So you could get pregnant and take over and pregnant over and over.

Wow.

He's going to make me get die. Yeah. On his 10 inch. Yep. This guy's got ten inches. Bullshit. He does not believe he is lying about that. I think he's lying about a lot of things, except for the fact that he'll probably put you in cuffs and put it up your ass and things like that. Yeah, I mean, you meet him in his tent when he gets off of a garbage dump work.

Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just it is cool, I think call an appeal to most ladies, just like, by the way, I might smell like garbage during this.

Well, when I worked at Starbucks, I would often smell like coffee and milk or work. My work goes with us.

Yeah. If you if you paint houses all day, you'll probably smell like paint if you work at a fish market. But I think that, like, if you go like, hey, I work at a garbage dump, maybe you leave it off of your dating, you can do it, but maybe don't.

It's not like a subtle point. But Tom. No, but I think it is because he's trying to say, look, I am gainfully employed. Right. Normally, you could come to my trailer, but I'm fixing the brakes, the RV, the I'm sorry, the RV. Yeah, which is why I'm offering you the tent.

So and I'll put a collar on you. That's you.

Yeah, he's a put but your leash in a collar. Oh wow. And fuck you until I give you die. I'll make you the dies.

The dies I give you all the dog dies.

I think I think the brazenness of offering a woman a tent.

Yeah. Basically fuck the shit out here until you're done. Until you died. Until you died. Yeah. I mean the tent offer is really insane. Yeah.

It's pretty cool. This guy's right. Yeah. Yeah.

The coolest of guys. Wait is she shadow band. Is that what you're saying. This. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you guys told me that it's still up on Twitter so I searched for her. Yeah. And her name doesn't come up.

Oh. So you have to manually put in your user and I don't know if you were a shadow band beforehand. I have a feeling this is like a pattern of behavior. But yeah, she's uh she's shadow and current shadow band currently. Yeah.

Just because I didn't want you to like, forget it, just wanted to recap.

What do you put a leash on in her handcuffs. I got here. In your view the living should have you up your ass and you can't in your kids make you swallow my candy to basically fuck the shit out here until you're done get die. Okay, you did get pregnant, OK, over and over.

Oh, no. You get die and get pregnant over and over again. He'll get you pregnant twice.

Three times is a cool video. Thank you. Want to see another cool video. You're always. This is so insane. This is in Argentina. This is on the news there.

OK, so the guy that you'll see with a woman on his like sitting on his lap in French, there's like Zoome Squares is a legislator.

I think he's a senator.

OK, but look, we as during zoom gun in people down that way in solito in solito look unavailing fantasia. Oh la la la. Oh my God. See. Oh no kidding. Gomera citra thirty one Emilio Amadie they'll print it all goes well.

What. That's pretty clear. Yeah, and that that news lady was saying, like, basically you're this is such a scandal, you're not going to believe he did this in front of everybody.

Oh, my God.

What is wrong with this guy? Is he on drugs? I don't know.

He started pretty rad, like the equivalent of like Lindsey Graham.

Just be like all psychotic girls tits on a zoom. Jesus, at least twice heterosexual. Oh, my God. You know, can I read you this disgusting article? Yeah, please.

Police in Vietnam said they found about 320000 recycled used condoms that were being repackaged on new local media reported on Thursday.

Market inspectors in the bin Doong province raided a factory near Ho Chi Minh City. Hey, your dad knows where that is, right? Where they discovered used condoms being repackaged to be sold at the market.

An inspector said the factory's 34 year old owner, a woman, confessed they purchased the condoms from someone else after buying the condoms from a man.

They were washed and reshaped, then packed in plastic bags.

It is unclear how many used condoms were already sold over the country.

And extreme health risk to users. No horse. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, man. So gross, so gross, that is disgusting. Yeah, that is so disgusting.

Yeah. Now you wanna hear this funny article. Sures was sent in to our friend of the show, Eric Lundie, who also draws weekly posters for us at Hollow Leg Comics on Instagram underpants.

Oh, my gosh, this is hilarious.

OK, are you ready? Yeah. A group of parents had to be removed from an English wildlife park for swearing at the guests. The five parrots were adopted and brought to the Lincoln Shire Wildlife Park on August 15th and had quarantine together in the same room where they had apparently taught each other curse words.

Steve Nichols, the park chief executive, said Every now and then you'll get one that swears. And it's always funny. We always find it very comical when they do swear at you. Staff couldn't help but smile at the cursing and their laughing encouraged the birds to continue swearing.

That's very funny, actually.

The parrots basically taught each other how to swear, which is amazing. Within 20 minutes of being on display, the parents had sworn out a guest and had directed obscene language at a group of people. So fucking great.

I mean, I would pay for this experience. I would pay a premium to go to a hotel whether I had like a bunch of swearing birds and an atrium or something.

That would be so rad. Fantastic.

Good for your mother fucker. Some dumb kontorovich, yeah. Also, I have an update on Mark's tits, I don't know if you want to hear this.

Um, sorry, I watched a recent podcast where you asked whether men like to suck each other's tits like Ed Asner offered a mark.

That's not for Ed Asner as a bisexual as a bisexual man, I can confirm that this is indeed common among gay and bisexual men.

I'm a top and I personally don't enjoy it being done to me. But every bottom that I've been with loves having his nipples sucked and played with.

They are they're all dry, a lot of topsoil like it.

But I find that less common. I try not to be stingy with it. Keep in mind tight. Rowan. Thank you, Rowan, for this very important update is an important update.

So you heard it here first on why M.H. News men, some of them like having their tits sucked.

Well, I had no idea.

Yep, I didn't know that was a big thing. In other news, some men like having things put up their ass. Breaking news. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool.

How big a load I'm going to swallow, right? Okay. Um, yeah. Where is this thing? So, oh, did you see this this was pretty cool, this was like kind of trending a little while ago, elephant. And how is cool seeing all this shit come out of this elephant? Why is the liquid coming on to get an enema?

Oh, look at this big smile right here. I'm so happy. They are so messy.

What is she like?

I say, make a shower the first time I see running water in month.

Oh, yeah.

They don't have shower. What do you mean? Hey, do you see do you see anything? Do you see anything weird here in this, in this clip.

Just watch, ok.

No, just see if you see anything that stands out to you. But what makeup.

Does he notice his own car? Yes, yes, I see it again.

And the moment when he sees Adventism big wallet, I'm just not going to do this. That's right. Up that he's splitting.

The testees realized that those are splitting the testees is one ball on each side just so tight. But so normally you put your balls on one side of the seat.

You don't want to seem to split your nuts. No, but sometimes. But is that when they say that you do dress to the left or dressed right? Well, I mean, like your your balls go to one side or the. You would. Yeah.

You would either pull it like above the seam or just you don't want like the seam. Right. Like it's there clearly running.

Right. There's one bottle on each side of that, he feels it, too, because he's like, what's he done?

And I think somebody somebody was like, I can see your balls on either side.

And he was like or he saw himself in the monitor. I was like, oh, my God.

Yeah. What was that? Yeah, that's pretty great.

This made my day. I love stuff like that. Well, let's take a quick break, because we've got to bring our good buddy Josh Potter in here to talk about the Roach Motel. So we will be right back in one moment.

And we are back with our very own host of the Roach Motel with George Potter. You can find the video of it right here on your mom's house podcast, YouTube page. You can also go on iTunes rate review and subscribe. Listen, wherever you listen to podcasts. So great to have. Josh, how are you, buddy? Hey, how are you?

Good to see ya. Congrats on the Buffalo Bills. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, man. Kill him. So pumped. I bet you are sad that we can't go watch them. I feel like I should have been in Las Vegas yesterday rooting them on. I had that plan.

If they sent to the Super Bowl and things are better by then, will you go?

I would love to go. That's like asking like would you win the lottery if you could win? I mean, how would I get to go to the Super Bowl? What do you mean? Like, financially? I don't I wouldn't be.

Oh, no. I'll send you to the Super Bowl. Oh, well, then fuck you.

I'll go. I mean, what am I going to say? No to that. Obviously, you'd have to be there. I would want to be there in some capacity, even if it was like a circumstance where I wasn't fortunate enough to know you and you were going to send me there, I would go and just like be outside of it and sure be around it. And I'm definitely going to go to Buffalo for the parade 100 percent now, and I would hope they would want me.

How is your sex work going? Are you still doing Cameo?

I've abandoned sex work for the time being. Wow, what a shame. It is a shame. But, you know, like every artist's Rocco, so many of them, you know, I just became I don't want to use the word bored. Right.

But it is it's just the lack of passion you want and challenged creatively. Not anymore. No.

And I just I hear that some adult performers will say, like, oh, yeah, I'm shooting this. I'm thinking about bills I gotta pay. And I'm like, oh, I got to go to the grocery store to this. I'm like, oh, I don't want to hear that from my sex stars. Right.

It was a concerning element when I was just doing it to pay the bills. And it is a financial sacrifice, I will say, you know, because the demand was high and I turned that down out of need for my own pride in my own, not pride, but just creative satisfaction. Yeah.

You are an artist, right?

Definitely. You're an artist. I will say also that if if I will send you to the Super Bowl if they make it. But the caveat is you have to take this guy with you, OK?

Just cut the shit out here until you're done. Get done, OK, and get pregnant. OK, over and over.

That's Anthony DeVito. He's a comedian in New York. Oh, there you go. OK, well, you and Tony are going to the game. Oh, OK. Cool. Yeah. So what was his his pitch there.

Oh his pitch is that he works at a garbage dump and he you could go to his R.V..

It does look like Anthony DeVito is was one that's man.

Right. But he's getting the brakes fixed on his RV. OK, so he's sending you to it.

You said you can come to his tent and I won't be in my RV because I'm going to get it done Friday. The brakes on it. You'll have to come and see me in my tent and live in and make your fucking cool. Come on, handcuffs. I got here. In your view, you know, the living should have you up your ass and you can't and your kids can't make you swallow.

My candidate sounds like he's really making up for lack of RV. You know, he's like, sorry about that. Sorry about the tent circumstanced.

Hey, just because of that, I'm going to throw in the fucking your cousin.

You're and you pregnant over and over again.

Oh, you do that to me. You think he can impregnate your baby all you. Oh, my God. Make some babies. I mean, I guess that's a nice offer. I mean, I'd hope I'm going to I'm just going to say, you know what, man? I'll call you in the ARV's. Ready?

Cause that's how, you know, knew this would be a crazy like contest that they'll never get thrown. But it would be great that if they could line up fans of like a team like a like a super fan, like you want to go see your favorite team play.

And they're like, yeah, like, OK, you got to meet this guy in his tent and he's going to put a dog collar on you and cuff you and fuck you and your ass. And then you go to the Super Bowl.

Let's see how many people are like, I'm in.

I had so many radio contest ideas like that back in the day.

I mean, we did there was a station in town that used to do a thing called the Boggo, and it was like a geo tracker that they made like seven people sit in during the county fair for like two weeks. And the last person to exit the. Boggo would would win it. Do you know what I mean? Meaning that I have to stay at the county for two weeks inside of the gym. They could come out on breaks and stuff like that.

So people from the people from all over would come to the fair to see the boggo and look at the people in the go and see who's going to win it and things like that.

And I always pitched the idea, let's do a boggo, but let's put a plantin in the contest where there are real maniac, like they're just jerking off all the time and they're fuckin they're like a homeless man, like you guys like crack, you know, like that kind of thing. And then that will get people to leave more expeditiously, I would imagine, for sure. And then we give this hobo a fuckin go. I think that would be nice.

It would be like I like that idea, like humanitarian. So but they turned it down. What did you win? If you survived, you won the car.

The car. OK, right.

Poggio, you win the goat track in the car. Yeah. And then the cool thing, if you give it to a guy like that and then you're like, now you have this asset like I need money. Well and then you be like, I'll give you five hundred dollars. He's like, all right.

The little the little dark side of radio contests is oftentimes our words would win things like that.

And they would then be confronted with the position you owe taxes on this and they would no longer be able to accept the prize.

Oh my God. Happen all the time. It would happen a lot. Yeah. Mean even if the taxes were like minimal, I mean, and some of those prizes, you'd have to really start putting a ceiling on the prizes because you knew people weren't going to be able to pay taxes on something. You couldn't give away a fucking county or something like that, because you know what I mean. You're giving away a civic. You know what I mean?

That's why it's what were they how much would the taxes work out to? I don't know. I mean, I don't know anything about finances or taxes, but I know it's a hefty amount of change. A few thousand dollars, you know. Yeah. That like that's all I want though.

Yeah. Yeah. But I won this. Yeah. It's free. Right. You said free even on trips and shit.

You know, you got to pay some tax. Yeah. No bro. Nah but I don't pay those anyway and you're like well we can't give it to you.

It's not weird to listen to traditional radio now. Yeah. It's sad now because it's all like it's not really happening when you're listening to it like it used to. And that was always the most fun part about it, was that you just like would come across something and you'd be like, wow, this guy sounds like a fucking maniac. And, you know, he's somewhere in a room doing it in that moment. And you could call in and and you'd hear people calling in and interacting.

And that's something that's like gone essentially, you know, like that pure listening as it's happening or stumbling across something. We don't do that anymore. Everything Netflix and everything else is destination watching and listening. And we choose and pick and click what we listen to now. So including the Roach Motel, including the Roach Motel. Yeah, there's no stumbling upon that. I suppose.

I laughed so hard at the the promos that you've been putting out.

So like what, what's going like tell people about what you're doing.

I don't know. No, no. I'm doing I'm just doing a show. I mean. Yeah, like I would normally I mean, there's news there's I think the most important news that doesn't necessarily get covered by the MSM. Yeah. Out there. The lame stream media. The fake news media. Yeah. And also, I mean, some people don't like the fact that I talk about sports. I talk about them because it's a piece of fabric in my life.

Yeah. But I talk about it in a way that I don't think if you don't watch any sports at all, you still I it's not like a sports show.

I mean, like X's and O's, for instance, like in the recent promo, you had any guess which NFL quarterback raped or was accused of rape and then. Yes. And you had images of people and he picked Russell Broussard. I left.

So like most Christian guy in the NFL, I've I've now now Russell Wilson.

I think I've just been noticing people have been coming across. His new nickname is now Cecil Wilson because he considered him looking sus.

That was his accusation of him. But yeah, any any the great part about having any produce the show is that and he doesn't know about anything for the record. Yes. He knows about a lot of stuff that you know, happens and conducts. I say this, he's like a genius. If you need him to Google about parts of a camera. Oh you are like a computer or something. All I can do all of that. But if you ask him who like Oprah is, he's like, I dude, I never I don't know anybody.

I had him. Google Matlock. Yeah. He Googled a man named meatspace. Hello. Okay.

Well, that's before his time. Well, sure. I know. I know. And I just saw nineteen. I had to. Yeah. So I have to remember that when I'm, you know, asking for Googling and things like that. But that makes it part of the fun too. So and he doesn't know anything about sports either. And so I don't think it hinders your ability to listen to the show.

It's not SportsCenter though. No. Um, I was like, maybe you'll find cool things.

Like this. Every time we go to the same craving and it feels just like I am enslaving myself and everybody tells me to eat and I would if I could, but I can't. So I won't. And I would if I could, but I can't. Solomont DIA de de de de de de de de de tormented, dominated by all the love. Guess he won't be your love slave. So what you are crave. I am renegade. I'm going to be the first person ever to break away from you.

Wow.

That was really cappelletti. Oh no instant talent.

Well you guys know what to do guys. I have to say it or even get to the end of the song. Oh, you know what? If I could, but I can't so I won't. And I would if I could. But I can't. So I won't break away. Break away from you. Break away. Break away from you. Yeah.

Well, first of all, I'm not uncomfortable. I want to stop. And secondly, I was like lulled to sleep. I was I like to spin the pods.

I like to find the positive you do. That's what I know about you, sir.

I would like to tell you that nice body dude. He does, right. That's all I was thinking about him. I can sing whatever he wants, like a chest. I mean, he'll after you does this embarrassing bullshit. He's like, I'm going to do ten LAT's now or whatever the fuck.

You know, they just got to see 300 push ups and. Oh yeah.

OK, I'm wondering what the around his neck is that for a masterbation it man.

It is a it is a collar of sorts I don't think. Yeah. I think it's just part of his front man. Look. Yeah.

Well you know very Rob Helford it's a it's a whip. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He looks like he could be a slave or Adam.

Yeah. Right, right. That's very versatile of him. You know, it's kind of a hidden meaning or can interpret or just a cool singer.

I think he's just I think he might be a relic of the eighties metal like the. Yeah.

Judas Priest type laying a relic or is he restarting. He's trying to revive it.

Yeah. What do you think, like he puts this out, let's say, on the topic or something like do you think it's an influx of like baby, you can sing and I want to come and meet like do you think he's getting fan comments?

And if it's on the talk but he's getting a certain demo. Yeah, I think this I think we've got I'd like to see the rest of his work because I feel like there was a lot of he did get a little hard there for a second. This was his love ballad. I want to see real front man energy. Right. You can tell he's worked on his body, so he's definitely just out there in front of the mic, like holding it like fucking.

Yeah, you know what I mean? I want to see him really rock out with the band. Yeah.

And get a full breath of his talents because you know what, you guys, I feel like right now we're starting our own America's Got Talent. It is.

This is the voice. I would have turned my chair around. Actually, I probably if this were the voice, I wouldn't have turned my chair around and then I would have regretted. I've been like, well, you didn't tell me about your abs, bro.

Yeah, I didn't hear those abs when I was.

What would this show be called? The because tick tock, tick, tick tock rock the Internet's Got Talent.

I like this idea of finding the next star, the next singing, the next star singer because we had acupuncture no more that came in from the machines within. You know, it would be a major battle of the time.

It would actually be more beneficial if we were to look at them before we heard them sing and judge them based off their like the opposite of the voice where it's like, no, you know what, I'll turn the chair around and listen to you.

How about that? That that's like the choice to make the sanity to. Yes, yes. Yeah. Look crazy.

Yeah. How's your camera angle? You do all the the checks and then you go, all right, I'm gonna turn my chair around and give this guy a lesson.

Do you remember Fred Smoker trying to get a car dealership to sponsor him?

Like, easy to do. I've seen a lot of morons get a car dealership to sponsor.

He I actually so Zolo put this in the I was like I remember doing a dive on Fed smoker and he walked into a car dealership. It was like, do you guys want to sponsor me?

They're like, you need to leave like immediately. Oh man.

I was hoping he shot a commercial where he's like, Are you a jumeau?

Do you need all wheel traction? Are you a scurvy bitch?

Well, that pretty well proved in that deal. Thanks a lot. When he goes. Right, to the sales manager, you know, sir, to you that maybe I do, but he's busy. Can I speak for a moment? No, no, no. You hope you realize what the situation like the opportunity to sponsor my car? No, sir.

No, sir.

I sponsor my car, not a car I bought here. Yes, my Frankenstein piece of shit outside.

I see that you want to throw your dealership name on it.

Pretend I bought it here lap after lap in the accident part and in that kind of stuff. No, I'm a race car driver.

You know, what's really interesting is the date on here is from twenty sixteen.

I mean, the smoker was doing his Jame's for so long, so long before I took him down.

This guy's reaction is so correct.

His instincts were like, get out, leave no everything. No, no, no.

But also you got to get that guy's busy. Everyone's busy.

You got to be 100 percent the correct. Yeah, no, but you've been rinky dink car dealerships. You know, that guy is not at all that busy. He is so standing. No one's busy. No one's busy. They're all like in the coffee writing his internal alarms of like have this man leave very instinctually. Correct.

Correct. No sponsors from Ford. No, sir, I you get sponsored by Ford. You know, you should probably find a public library. You go to Google and ask them, OK, OK, well thank you. What's your name. My name is Bill. Thanks Bill. No problem.

That guy is that you should be employee of the fucking year for that dealership. Yeah. I mean he even was like go to that was a quick little jab, go to the public library and do Google. He didn't even consider that he'd have a computer at his home right now.

He knows. Yeah. Knows, isn't it.

Well, to watch people shake hands now. Yeah. Don't you in sync also to slow especially shake his hand. I don't I mean we've seen it in video. It's not a hand you want to shake.

I still have a hard time with that. I go in for the handshake and I forget. Yeah, I did that on the other day on Friday when I was I was like, hey, how are you doing? And then everyone was like. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, might be. Watch, watch how they get him to leave, though, he's the main guy here. It doesn't matter right now. OK, OK, I appreciate it.

All right. Well, thank you. Well, I was going to see if I could talk to the main guy, but those are smart. I have to leave.

OK, as a matter. You're welcome.

MAN one Over here. My name's David. Thanks, David. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. That guy's Lokey. Hilarious. Yeah.

He goes to the magical place mentally for all your questions. Well, I'm I'm going to go ahead and try to have no connection right now. I don't know. They don't provide me with such. Oh, she's not lying to people that have a nice day. Yes. I bet they would get along famously if they spoke for a few days.

Well, thank you. You're welcome. Are you upset? No, not at all. Don't touch me, OK? I'm a property girl. For what reason? Because this is a private. Yeah, well, ok, ok. I have the right to reserve service to me. I was just trying to find another Crown Vic and you have to go somewhere else.

We don't have any. It was just to try to get another crown. But I understand that. And I asked you to leave and start talking to someone else. Oh I'm sorry. I just want to leave. All right. Thank you. Well, that's when you treat your customers. Your reporter. Yes, sir. Nice. Yeah. All right. Well, I want to have kind of a place I appreciate the whole thing on the Internet soon.

Yeah, I'm sure that's. Well, I think you're very friendly, very friendly. Smoking out of my mouth. You wouldn't even have to ask me to leave. My information is kind of a smart africanus, but I really took a turn and he made sure to really turn the turn the worm there at the end.

The very end. He calls him a stupid baby raper.

Fuck. Yeah, yeah.

He was smoking the whole time you pointed that out or you just have a cigarette he was chewing on like a psychopath. Yeah, he had it in his hand. He was like, can I get some info on crack. I like how he had his right there.

You like, you want to trade.

Listen, can't get a good train over there.

What did you think that guy's going to look at?

Has it graphic like I could take about two thousand off the price with this trade in this.

Yeah, we have we have a need for parts so we can strip this down.

Yeah. I want to put our dealership on the side of that.

Is fucking Cho mobile. Yeah. So yeah.

If you're not a baby Ray, bring it down to Gabriel Ford.

Well so has has the recent, you know, pandemic evolution led to a restricted your sex capades.

It has indeed restricted. I'm not able to travel obviously right now. I've been cooped up in my house and some ladies caught wind of what that looks like. So it ain't not necessarily knocking down the door. Come on over there.

So we have to make a few arrangements outside of the outside of that on occasion. And yeah. So I mean, I'm doing all right. I've I've kept up with a few ladies and that's always nice. You've done really well since you moved. Oh, my God. Oh my gosh.

Well there was twenty, eighteen was virtually like I reverted back to virginity when I was working in that office and just doing open mics or whatever and then boy oh boy. I'll tell you the start once you had me on here. Oh boy. I mean really made up for lost time. So I think both of you of course.

Yeah I'm happy to hear it. It's our priority both as well. I want it all. I want it every night I go. I hope Josh comes tonight. I mean, that's what I say, right? Yeah.

We've come close a few times and I'm looking forward to further research as the pandemic subsea subsides and we can go back out on the road again. It's going to happen. I have dates also. So what are your dates now? Are they have they are public. They're on sale. I don't think Phoenix is on sale quite yet, but it will be this week or next week. But November 15th, Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live, November 17th.

Huntsville, Alabama, stand up live. And then November 18th, zanies in Nashville.

That's a great run. Oh, yeah. Well, you heard it. Go see Potter. Those are on your website.

Those will be on my Twitter. Yeah. Are you Twitter OK? Yeah, the poster posted right at the top.

Get tickets to see Josh. And don't forget the Roach Motel with Josh Potter every week on our YouTube page, your mom's house podcast, YouTube page, Tuesdays, 6:00 a.m. it gets. Released Pacific Standard Time and of course, rate review and subscribe to the Roach Motel on iTunes and wherever else you listen to podcast. Josh, thank you so much for coming by.

Hey, thank you for having me and thanks for the podcast. We're so excited and you're going to kill us. Thank you. Good to see you, buddy.

We'll be back to talking about Fort Dix after this quick break. Do you think I want to look like this? I don't. I wish I had long, luscious locks, but I waited and it was too late. I should have stepped on it like a lot of you. Sixty six percent of men start to lose their hair by age 35. Yup. And once you've noticed, thinning hair can be too late.

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For that comes Mom. Oh boy. I'm at it again. I'm playing what best. Of course you are. I'm on level twenty seven.

I love it because we just took a plane ride and it was perfect because you don't need an internet connection to play best fans and it's so much fun because it's challenging, but it's not like too much where you're like I don't want to deal with all this stuff and I like finding new ways to make lots of things explode.

At the same time, I get really, really excited when I figure out what the game is and how to get to the next level. You feel like you're constantly being rewarded to because there's like different little cartoons and animations that happen when you when it's really it's really fun.

I really enjoy it. Uh, it's got over one hundred million downloads and counting. It's free to download and literally millions of five star reviews on the Apple App Store and Google Play. There's so many levels and challenges. It's really fun. Download Best Fiend Free today on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's Friends without the ah best fiends. We're back.

I might shit my pants. Also big news.

Joining us now, the writer and director and opening act, which you can see in theaters, video on demand everywhere movies are available. Steve Burns here.

All right. Good to see you both.

CNBC and there was actually in the original script a scene that was cut out where I recalled a scene where I shit my pants on the road. Oh, really? So it was it was originally in there and you couldn't have offered me that part. You're in character today.

I am. I am in the movie. I'll start by telling our listeners and viewers that, yes, you gave me a part. Thank you very much. Thanks for doing it. Of course.

And I remember he was filming it just about I was about to go into labor any minute with our second child. And so it was just like, oh my God, please come back home.

Yeah, I was like I was afraid I was onset getting a blowjob in a field.

Oh, my guys my wife's about to give birth. Yeah. Yeah.

That was the first thing you said to me. Like, by the way, she could give birth at any time, so just letting you know. So yeah. OK, please.

I know it's like I want to be a team player but you got to do what you're like, you just got to come and then you can go play. All right, let's go. Yeah, literally. No, it was it was so fun. It was really fun. Man, that was such a good time.

I've told the story about how because, um, since I play it, I can say what I play. Right. Yeah. You play a police officer. Yeah. And then you guys had the like the movie LAPD vehicle, which is exactly like an LAPD like I mean it looks and it has the mind, the computer and everything. So one of the pervs was like, are you going to pull up to this set in this vehicle because I'm playing a cop?

And I was like, do all the buttons work? And he was like, Yeah, I think so. So I was like when I was doing it. Yeah. And hadn't let's go in there like you are right next to a freeway right now.

If somebody reacts to what you're doing right and ends up like an accident and think you're going to shut down this entire I was like, OK, so we're going to do this. And they're like, we'll just drive away from the highway. I was like, OK, that because that dude playing in everybody's dream, it's a dream.

And you had all the bells and whistles going every improving over the speaker, which we didn't have in there. Yeah. And you were coming up with a lot of.

Yeah, yeah. Somewhat vulgar, but that incident that occurred in the film because we didn't put anything in the trailer because obviously it's a reveal to, you know, who you are. Right. Right towards the end of it. And there's major repercussions but. That incident, there's going to be people that see this, that there's no way that fucking like that fucking happened to me. I was in Raleigh, North Carolina, Charlie Goodnights.

And, you know, it was back when that club was the shit. Yeah. So you do the show.

Everybody would talk about that. Cause before I ever played it, I'd hear stories.

Deja vu. Was that other one like Missouri? That was so fun. This is like the the shows upstairs and everybody goes downstairs to the party and there was a bar and dance floor like like that deja vu.

Yeah. And then you're like a big fish in a little pond if you're single it's the greatest.

So I went downstairs like so many guys that we get.

So it was my Tunisia. I fucked one girl in Tunisia. You talk about I don't talk about it, I don't talk brings her up, at least I don't bring her up ever. I just bring up you were like, where were you?

I wasn't. And you're like that fucking whore.

Is that like the ace up the sleeve that you did you really bang a girl in Tunisia? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Isn't that like a third world country. Yeah.

Oh and he didn't use a condom and she did heroin. She told me she does. Excuse me. Yeah. She, she was like, like she was open about it and I was like I don't give a shit. And you wrote up a woman in Tunisia twice. A heroin addict. Wow.

Twice. Yep. You deserved a chance. Yeah. Maybe three times. I remember now. Oh my God. I mean, you know. Oh, all right. I'm sorry.

You say she looked like a fucking drug addict. He saw a picture of her, remember?

I did you see the picture you did in the memory? There's that book, Dirty Dreads. She had no dreads. No, no, no.

That is a different girl. This is this girl did not have another drug addict. Different horny. Yes.

Yes. No dreads on this girl. And she smelled like patchouli and she didn't smell good and she had armpit hair.

Oh, really? You were hungry for a hungry man.

You had to be hungry like the wolf. I was chained up jewed. Someone let someone on a couple that leaves. You just went after the first thing you saw.

It's really armpit hair. I mean, I wasn't into it, but I noticed it.

Yeah, well, you went and she was sitting by the pool in a leather bathing suit. Scuse me. Yeah.

So you're not at sandals.

You look like a leather thong and leather top.

And I was like, you were in leather in Africa by the pool and saying it's not very poor. Yeah.

How did you strike it up. Yeah. And it didn't her box smell because leather is not very porous.

Well, we didn't it wasn't like right there by the pool or I was like, let me lap it up.

She said she sounds stinky. She probably didn't shower before you guys hooked up. I'm yeah. No, she was clean. She was clean. She got mad. Right. But I didn't come inside of her.

Oh Jesus Christ.

I think that's why we that's why we did it a second time.

I had to give her what she was. Am I even a woman. See me as a long time ago. Why. It was a long time ago.

I was Jerry. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.

Oh, I'll tell you something, Steve, is that I've known him for a million years. And just now, this year, all these stories are coming out. And he's been very secretive for the last 15 years, as you should be.

Yeah. And now it's like I don't give a fuck where to babies deep in the game.

Fort Knox is open. Yeah, it's a global pandemic. All right.

Is that what is that what it is. Yeah. It's how it is facing you.

I want to tell you that that's I appreciate the openness you both have, because my wife, I've never I don't think I've ever posted a picture of her because I want to protect her case.

Some dirtbags, like he's a fucking anti-Semitic.

He hates women. He hates, you know, and I just don't want her to get that shit.

And then you guys like, no, it's just like, oh, you think my ex bad.

What's some of this shit? Yeah.

Send a link. Either of you.

Yeah I know I yeah that's true.

But that's fun isn't it. The promo BrightRoll. I remember I was in San Diego and you know they always make those promo posters. Yeah. And yours was the one, the only promo poster that made me laugh really. You had the black like black T-shirt and you were just sticking your your stomach out. Yeah.

You were not pregnant. I know. I know. I was just fat because I had gained weight.

Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah. And she looked gorgeous and then. Thank you. Thank you by the way.

And I was a fat model before other other people did it. Do you know what I mean. Like I put it out there, it was it was early. You were the first. It was the first. I was a high and then it became Hech and that and then other people did it. I'm not going to say who, but yeah. But yes, I was the first one there. Yeah. Yeah right. So I stole Batak.

What have I done to follow your lead. You follow my lead today. So your wife, is she she vulgar though or she's a nice.

Oh she's not Minnesota. Nice. Yeah. You know Midwest. Yeah. Supersmart.

How did she react to like, you know, the darkest parts of your mind. Oh she like do you really think that. Yeah. Really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

The time like my last hour I did, I talked about her ass, she got a big ass you know, she's not like yeah. Yeah. Teet or anything. And I just made this joke about her and then at the end of the joke it was like a joke on me.

But I talked about it and the first, the first few times I did it, she said it.

Do we really have to do that? Do we need to talk about my ass like, look, I got 60 Minutes, I got to feel here, you know, and this one does well, so please let me keep it. And it was one of those where I know she was, like, cool with it, but she wasn't cool with it.

Yeah, but but that's when you can be like, do you like your life, Debbie?

Like this house. Yeah. The fucking car you drive, huh. Believe me, that was that was in the you know, you go over the light switch off on off on.

You like that. Yeah. This guy, this guy right here to kiss goodbye. Can I tell you that going to Cleveland.

I know him so well. I know what's happening. That shit that he was referring to earlier, it's brewing. Am I right. What's brewing. The Katka. Yeah.

Oh yeah. It's like a time bomb.

I can read him like a baby. How do you know this? Because, yeah, it was in my periphery.

I didn't even have to look at guys. Notice that in the booth. I haven't looked at him. I listen to Steve the whole time in my periphery. You see, I saw the movement.

It's like twins when I got to know something. Yeah, we had a sandwich. We ate some goddamn damn had us never order that again. Never got him out again. Do you want to go take a shit.

No, I'm OK right now. Are you sure we'd like. My wife would never like.

That's one thing. My wife and I we don't have that like you don't Katka.

Not like. No we don't like. We don't. I do. Yeah we do.

But it's not like hey oh I take a shit. Yeah. Like it's never like this. You just go and make a call so I just disappear. Disappear. Yeah. But here's the thing about it.

If I ever, if I ever fart in my house. Yeah.

I'll go to the kitchen. Right. Yeah. I'll just fart instantly. Come over. She needs something in the kitchen every fucking time.

Yeah. Every time. And you tell her to say anything or. Yeah no don't say anything or you guys ignore you ignore. I guess we ignore you. Ever walk into her farts. Never. Uh never.

I would say it if it, if it happened but I think. What are these relations. She respects me. Yeah. I don't, I don't have any idea what this is like. Serious civility.

Like would you ever walk down a hallway in a hotel and fart crop dust and then let her walk in the wake of that fart? No. Oh, he did that to me last week.

Oh, that was Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah, OK. It was a bad one. It was it was like, you know, a post restaurant rich meal where you're like this was like heavy.

Yeah. And you were like this was quite this was like a kings buffet. Yeah. Kind of thing. And I walked down the hall and I was like, oh, you had a creamy dish.

Yes. And it just and it was creamy. It was creamy on the way out. Creamy dish.

She was like, oh my God, we were in a nice hotel. Steven was a nice fifes. Are you doing. I'm going to fucking throw in the Four Seasons, asshole. You do that shit at the Holiday Inn. Yeah. Super eight, you fuck.

That's exactly where it was. So what if you did that to your wife?

Would she say anything if you crap sounds like she.

I think she would probably she's like a mob wife.

She'd keep it to herself when she wouldn't say anything. Yeah. But later on she'd be like, what the fuck was that. No, it's never happened. I, I can't say we ever talked about it.

Like I even when I, when I could do it, just like I just disappear. Yeah.

Wait and I'm a shower guy too. Like I do it, I get a shower obviously I have two now.

So you're watching a movie. Let's say you're watching a movie and you have to shit. How do you handle that. I just I don't know.

I'm not that like it. It was look I've been a comic for twenty three years. I think I took my first I, I took my first shit in an airport maybe like a year ago. Wow.

What I don't on your morning, early morning flight. I don't drink coffee. I don't you know, I don't get anything to get the engines going, so I just.

You never drink coffee, never drink coffee in my life.

I'm not drinking. I love whiskey. You never smoked a cigarette. Never smoked a cigarette.

My my junior high school hockey coach chain smoked and powdered coffee.

And you get in your face and you yell at you and it was like the worst combination was like, fuck that smells so hold on.

What about when you get diarrhea. What about it.

Like, like, you know, you don't feel the guys. I have a movie coming out. Right, let's talk. But this is world sport.

To me the opposite is asshole. There will be a sequel.

But I imagine, as Tom is genuinely curious, how do you have a marriage where for me it just feels like a big lie. If I don't like like like for instance, you have diarrhea, you don't feel the need to be like, oh my God, I just I'm a big ass done by AIDS. And then you guys come here.

How are you going to see this incredible self. Not that. But you don't you don't talk through it. You don't feel the need to do like an autopsy or to backtrack and see what did we eat together. Yeah, yeah.

I just clam chowder and flapjacks are not a good combination with ice cream. Yeah. Like you don't. What do you do when you have diarrhea. Do you hide it from her.

I guess it just disappear and it's a long. A shower, you know, I always I always crank the tunes when I listen, I always listen to music everywhere. So I listen to music and I'm just in there for for a lot longer. I don't know.

But I just drove across the country with her and my kids and yeah, there were there were a few times where it's like, oh God, I should just be honest about this, but I just kind of like keep you bottled up in kids, right, to get you a girl and boy.

Oh boy. Yeah. With two boys by the way.

They're all just like fart and like I like to ask for it.

And my girls sea lion at SeaWorld. Yeah. He also he goes poop on you me. He goes, can I poop in your eyes. Why. And he goes to sleep in your head, you know, because they poop on your back.

And I know he's like, can I fart on you like all this.

So he talks about them like that's how I don't think you're going to be a doctor.

Yeah.

That's how he woke you up the other day, is he sat on top of you and he farted on your butt and he goes and and the other thing he did was he'll now he used to pretend fart. Yeah. He actually got up on the couch, puts like Stradley puts his legs over my shoulders. So he's like sitting like he's going to get a, you know, sit on my shoulders. Yeah.

And he goes, I just farted on you. I'm like, thanks man. My my kids.

Like, if I'm taking a shit, that's the only time they need to come back and the fingers underneath like it's a zombie apocalypse.

I can get your fingers out. Like, what are you doing now.

Oh, I have a full body alone. It's the dog. It's the two kids. The door is open. It's there's no shitting in peace when you're. Yeah.

The U.P.S. guy's here. Yeah. Fingers. Oh hand. Why now. I know these two minutes, my two year old, he'll be like, I want to see your car.

I'm like, I'm taking a shit. He's like, I want to see it. Like we'll see it after I shit. I just like I want to see it. I want to drive the car.

But we teach in the word dump, which is where you find it to, you know, I have to dump. So, so fine.

So you know, Jerry Nadler, I do not know if you've seen him on the news, I believe. Is he a senator or is he a senator? I think he's a senator. Right. Jerry Nadler is a senator from. Or is he sorry, Congressman, I'm sorry. OK, so you've seen them on TV a million times. I've never seen him standing and he looks like he may go far and shit his pants on this screen here.

Yeah.

So proud to join my colleagues in introducing the protect. Watch how he walks away so that we may store these and other checks and balances that are so fundamental to our democracy.

And right here, he looks like he's like, oh, OK.

And then he goes over. I've never seen what he actually well, looks like.

Congresswoman Maloney. I want to he's pursing his lips, distinguished chairman and acknowledging he bent in when he was talking and he stumbles that this dude definitely shit his pants. And the chairman's absolutely, unequivocally 100 percent shit his pants.

And there's a big Dukey, I think, and also want to Maxime's like, I got to get the fuck out of here because I just all over. No. You saying thank God that guy's got as bad as he moves like this. He must have some with distinguished you guys. You're just I will say you have a guy that has a handicap when you shit your pants.

He was like yeah you definitely walked differently when you're absolutely 100 percent he's not. He just has some hip dysplasia or something. He could or he could shit his pants. Where you get up both is the handicap.

I'm not seeing anything, but we did see a whole bunch of articles come up that he showed us that people did ask if he did shit his pants.

I keep my pants on the road.

This is this is the worst way to show your parents. I met a girl, brought her back to my room after a nice cuisine at Denny's. Yes.

Leave her and in the morning, go to do morning radio, go to morning radio.

I get back to the hotel and I think, oh, I wonder if she's still in my room. I hit the elevator button.

As the elevator goes up, sweat beads instantly permeate my forehead on and then boom, yard ceiling.

My pants absolutely shit. My pants have moons over my hammy. I had, I had I remember I had soup and then like a burger and I had a milkshake which probably got kicked off the party with the Jamieson's.

So it was like, oh it was whiskey bad whiskey, I'm soup burger and this is the first time I shit my pants too. So when what happened, like a formula you would give someone who wants to be with you. You have to. Yeah.

Top it off with here's your jackass. Here's your. Yeah. So you wait you feel the sweat coming.

I feel the sweat and I just go what was. And then just boom.

And it wasn't even a question of like did I just it was like I a hundred percent shit my pants and then all of a sudden the doors open, you realize oh God, there's a world out there and I'm walking as the congressman or senator did.

I was walking back to my room, slide the key in the key card, open the door.

She's in the fucking room, still sleeping. I go, oh, fuck. So I look down the hall, I take my pants down and I throw it out by the trash can, by the Pepsi machine. I run back into my room, jump in, take a shower.

Mission accomplished. Nobody knows I put my pants on.

You took off your pants and your undies. And so you were everything and everything would go. So you're in the hallway. Everything must go. Yeah, everything's gone. No, I got back. I got like a fifth grader then.

No, I take a shower. Yeah, rinse off, crawl into the bed and then she wakes up and she goes, oh my God.

I go, watch goes. Oh my God. I go, what, what, what? She goes, I'm so sorry. I go, what happened? She goes, sometimes when I drink too much. I pissed the bed and I was like, It's cool.

It's cool baby. Like you're so cool about. I was like, yeah, you know, we're all humans. We make mistakes. And she's like, well, thanks for being cool because sometimes guys get pissed. I'm like, not this guy.

Let's see how cool I am. Follow me. The Pepsi machine. Go to the pool. I have a smell that hallway, right?

Yeah. The opening act is available on iTunes in theaters.

But that reminds me of what happened when you guys still do it after that. No, she went home, she went home, she missed the bed, fucking bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was a good night and I went downstairs and that girl there was a girl, she was fucking rocking up on the bar, Daisy Dukes, cowboy boots, like every guy was like, oh, my God. And she points to me. She goes, You come here. I go, Yes, ma'am.

And we had some drinks and we get in a cab and we're on a freeway. We're on a highway. We're on a main road, a side road. Then when a dirt road is gravel and we end up in a trailer and then all that shit that went down went down. But it was with a Marine.

And did he find you? He didn't. I had to stay underneath the. He showed up.

He showed up. You must be terrified.

I was fucking. How did you get him out of there? Here's what I did. So what what actually happened is the Marine came home. She's like, you got to go. And I jumped out the window.

I crawled under the thing because we're in the woods. And if I start walking, branches are snapping up.

So I had to lay there. I heard them fucking above me.

Yeah. After you just banged her, I didn't bang or we got inside and we started making out. She literally pulls down my pants. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, we just walked in and then all of a sudden she goes, oh my God, my my boyfriend's here.

I'm like, oh, Jesus, are you sure?

She's like, yeah, he's a Marine. He's going to kill you.

Because I saw the guns displayed in the thing. I'm like, oh, fuck, pull up my pants, jump out the window, crawl underneath.

And I'm just sitting there and then I hear them playing music and within seconds they're banging. And then there are the microwave ding. And they cooked I thought was Hot Pockets. So I put in the thing, you know, and so I wait for them to pass out.

This is in the early 2000s. I didn't have a cell phone.

Yeah, because they didn't exist. They just came on the market.

So I sat there, I think, for probably three or four hours until they passed out.

And then I had to run from the road wherever it took me. And I took me, I think, another two hours to get to a gas station, to call a cab. Two hours.

Yeah, it was I was in the fucking middle of nowhere. That's incredible.

It's terrifying. It was so scary. So it was like and the shit the pants thing I put in. So it's just taken all these crazy stories.

By the way. Any in the booth there. Yeah. The Tanner guy. Yeah. And the diversity hire. Yeah. Yeah. He's in the sun all the time. He uh he saw he's been to your show. He was on stage with you.

Oh really. Yes. Sausage party. Uh yeah.

You have me on when you were doing like a role reversal bit and you had a bunch of dudes on stage dancing with, uh, dancing for a girl are doing like a striptease type of thing. Yeah. Romeo horse cock. Yeah.

Where's your name.

And he Krischer was when I filmed my second hour special. He was supposed to be the guy that comes out as a horse cock to dance.

Oh. For the girl. And he didn't, he didn't make it. Oh why did he not make it.

Here's the thing. Like he never I'll ask him for things and he just he doesn't want me back.

He does everything for you. He didn't show up.

And we've taped on a Sunday by the way, and he couldn't he just didn't show up. He told me I think two days beforehand. So I got Bobby later. We have the last second. We have a very like, you know, like a strict and a strict.

But we stick to a schedule here because there's a lot of things being shot and recorded and produced here in this office. Yeah. One of them being the podcast I do with him two bears, one cave. Right. And like the came in, we're doing it this time. And it's all on a calendar that everybody has. Sure. And, you know, we have to stick to it. There's ad sales on them and you have to insert those and it has to be on the release schedule.

Well, what and plus, he's doing the road a lot during this thing. Like the only guy that, like, is constantly touring. Sure. He's like we have like a Wednesday recording date. And on Monday he's like, can we record tomorrow?

And I was like, no, we do your mom's house tomorrow. We'll do our show Wednesdays. Yeah. He's like, oh, well, I'm going on vacation. And I go, I'm sorry.

When he was like the day after tomorrow, I go, Oh, what about like our record is good. He's like, yeah, I just kind of came up with it now. All right, I'll see you when I get back.

And I was like, hey man, we'll have to like make up for that.

Like this. We'll lose multiple weeks.

He's like, all right, when I get back we'll do it. I'm like, how long are you going for? He's like, I don't know. Jesus, an open ended vacation.

Yeah.

You know, he's he's OK. I don't know how to describe the R word.

He you know, we had done this Jamison together yourself do this Jamison tour.

And it was so fucking fun and he was so fun to tour with. And I remember before we go out, they sent us a case of Jamison. I remember this tour.

This was ages ago. Ages ago, you sent us a case. And before we went on the tour, this is two weeks before going on tour. This in this case, I was a bit drunk at that time, so I never drank it.

And we show up at the first day in crisis, like you guys, you guys get a case to my guy. He's like, so I finish my already like I fucking finished a case of Jameson.

Are you fucking kidding me?

He was dead serious about it. Really shook some of my crazy. Yeah.

And then the first time my wife meets him, my wife, we just start dating.

She, she comes, she comes to like I tell you, this other story. OK, so, so we go to lunch. We go to lunch. Billy Gardell, Bert Krischer myself, my wife. And this is the first time she's like on the road with me meeting other comics.

So is like, yeah, I'm going to have you guys over for dinner when this tour's over and stuff. It's going to be a great time.

And and he goes to Berdy goes now, Burt, when you come over to my house, I don't want you get naked or doing any of that crazy shit you do.

And he goes, Oh, Billy, why the fuck would you think I'd get naked with you? Cause you're fucking do it cause I should do that shit.

And Burt, you could see, was really like hurt by it and. And then later, after that thing, my wife goes, does she just get naked am I'm like, he sometimes get naked, you know, at times we finish the show that night.

My wife's there. Her little sister, who's like 19, comes up to visit because she's going to school there or something. And the show's over. We're all going to drink. And Krischer comes out of the greenroom butt naked in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.

And my wife goes, Oh, so this is what Gardell was talking about. And I go, Yup, yup, that's exactly it.

And then my sister comes out the bathroom and she goes, Oh, look, I was like, oh, that's good.

She was in the show. She didn't meet him before. And so, yeah, I saw him naked within a few months of meeting him, saying we all did.

And then we went on a trip together. Yeah. And he came to our room. Yeah. And took all he's got naked in our room. And we were in bed and we were like, what's up man.

He was like his thing is he's actually. Like you see him and you're like, I think he's fine and he goes, I'm fucking hammered right now, are you? He was like, Yeah, I have a drink so much.

And I was like, you seem like you're holding it together. He's like, really fucked up.

He's what you would never know. You would never, never know it.

When I first moved to L.A., we used to go play home run derby at the at the Grove. So get a bunch of guys together. And Chris used to come like Renesys easy and, you know, Brett Arnst and everybody, and it was right by the Grove.

So we'd get, you know, baseballs we pitched together and we just spent our days doing that and then we would time it out. So like at three o'clock, we knew the price is right, got out. So we'd wrap up, go through the grove, see girls with the name tags on ago.

You girls are from Ohio State. That's great. I went to Kent State or whatever. Yeah, we're doing shows at the Comedy Store tonight. It was it was the greatest summer.

Yeah. So these girls would common stuff and Krischer was the one like Renesys.

You played baseball. I dabbled with it. I mean, that guy straight up fucking bombs, krischer moonshots.

Yeah, absolutely. And that was the first time I was exposed to, like, how athletic.

But yes, dude, we were just talking about this and he I think I can say can I say the I can say the archery thing. Right. Yeah.

Because it's on the right. Yeah. I mean that's coming out in a couple of weeks though. Yeah.

But it's fine. Right. I mean he was saying how he grabbed a bow and arrow recently and somebody was like, are you sure you know how to handle that. And he was like, I think so. And they're like, dude, no, no. And he, he started to play with them. He was like, I mean do you pull it back? And they're like, just put down. And then he shot a bullseye. Did he really?

Wow. Yeah, God bless him.

I mean, he is the sweetest human being in the world. Yeah. Flaky though. Yeah. And that's that's the static that I've gotten from him because because I mean I'm sure he's brought it up, but I had initially called him and I was like, oh, there's this role. And I, I like his voice mail. Still to this day I'm out of the country.

I assume he was out of the country from fucking four years. Yeah. And I just I was like, oh, I guess he's out of the country. And I never heard back from him. And I just assumed I guess he's in Europe. I guess he's in Tunisia. Fucking a strange girl in a leather bikini.

Leather bikini, you left it here and you still Bender, I must have looked OK.

It wasn't that great, wasn't she? Well, she must have been cute. You were cute.

You were a hot what she was like.

She was like hot white trash, like heroin hot, you know, I mean, like you can see, like the the cheekbones, like, like stiletto, you know, I mean, like you knew she needed help. But there's the thing like I knew how to give it to her.

You could go down a deep dive. Right. And want to see what this girl looks like.

And it's always unfair to compare the girl today. Yeah. As opposed to the story from years ago because Roy Wood Jr. has this.

Oh, God, he had this girl he hooked up with in Tampa and we called her Tampa, Tony, when he told her the story and when Roy was on Sullivan's son, he she was telling everybody in Tampa, you know, I used to bang Roy Wood, Junior Seau.

So it got back to Roy. And Roy was upset because he's like, yeah, but when I banged Tampa, Tony, she was like a buck twenty. Yeah.

And now she's like, two fifty. Yeah. Why? So everybody would see Tampa, Tony. Now going, Roy, how could you do.

Yeah, but it wasn't to say she was.

Well first of all, there is not a chance this girl's alive today, even though she's definitely dead. But I feel like we've been tested for HIV. Right. And we would know by now.

You know, you would know by now. Right. It's been fifteen years together.

You had blood drawn and stuff and yeah, it surely would have come up right where he would be losing weight at some point. Right. Or hepatitis at least would have shot something.

There would be a sore there'd be some see next month.

And I weigh like 180 of what happened in Tunisia, Tunisia immune because I shut down on me.

Like if you fucked a heroin addict in Miami, it'd be like all I guess she was kind of cute. But Tunisia, that's like, oh, that's that's rock bottom. She was German.

She was visiting alone. Traveling alone. Some of the locals. That tells you a lot. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Girl backpacking. Travel in the world.

Yeah. The locals the locals were putting it on or the move on her and they're very aggressive. The local Arab men. Yeah. She was kind of scared, you know. So you how did you get her then?

I didn't I don't know. I just, you know, put her on a camel. I was like, shut up.

I was the first time you bought her one.

Yeah, I know. We bought drugs there, which was so dumb.

What do you do you crazy. I know. So I'm 21, so dumb. Put in prison for life. Oh yeah. Those those Arab countries don't play.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. What did you buy. I thought it was weed.

It was just some type of cash. I don't know. It was something they gave me so much of it and then I just gave it to her.

I was a drug addict, you know, you God damn.

Yeah. I have to say, I am glad we hooked up in our 20s when we were both young because I don't know how many more of these stories I can handle.

What do you mean? I'm sorry. Yeah, but you don't get the same story. Just different people. Right.

Just the story gets richer and more textured every time I hear it. Like you mean worse. Yeah, worse and worse stories are getting worse and worse.

Like with your leather bikini drugs. She's backpacking across Europe to strangers. Yeah.

I mean, I'm trying to think of like, that's the worst one. Hairy armpits. I know your worst one. Oh, your friend's mom. Oh, Jesus. What now?

My friends aren't. Yeah. Oh, wow.

I like picture your friends, aren't you. Yeah. In Pittsburgh. I'm yeah. I'm trying to go off away from porn. Yeah.

It's no real life. Yeah. This is.

Oh man. You bet your friends on. Yeah. How did that even happen.

Party a lot of whiskey. I got real drunk. Real drunk. How old were you. Uh twenty two or something.

And did your friend like he cause that.

I thought he didn't know so I was like oh so glad that he didn't know. And then the next day I was like you know, like when I finally got back to my place and you're like that was deeply shameful. But it's a secret and no one knows. Yeah. So then you're like four.

And then he called me. I was like, hey, what's up? He's like, what's up? Like, how much? He's like, how was your night? And I was like, oh, you know, hung over. He was like, he's like, Yeah, dude, you fucked my oh my.

And I'm like, what if I go, you play dumb.

Like how do I know how did you know that. He's like, how did I know. She fucking called my uncle and told him that you fucked her.

And I was like, oh my God, wait. She was still married. No, she was. Of course, she had two children that are older than your children are now. I saw their report cards on.

Oh, so here's the thing to you have to sign a permission slip for them to go on a field trip the next day.

The thing I'll just never remember was like that that face, like her face, she she looked like a dock worker.

You know, she had like a oh, she had like Christ, she had like a deadliest catch 30. Yeah, yeah. All shoreman like a shoreman with just a week.

Oh my God. Like I've said before, like Bill Belichick. More chowder. Yeah, more chowder. Anybody want some judder. You got those fish biscuits. Oh my God. Exactly what she looked like.

What was your name. I don't remember.

And also probably that she was another one. How old was she at the time?

At the time. OK, so I was twenty two. I think you're so cute too.

You kind of hooked up with apparently made out with somebody else at that party that worked at the office there own I don't remember her and somebody else was there like you were making out with some other lady, like some lady in accounting.

And I was like Oh I do remember, I do remember that it was it was not I did not finish.

I remember that you made me drunk and super drunk. Yeah. Yeah. She was very hot.

Very not she this is what this is like. I feel like I'm outside looking in. OK, and when you say you don't fart in front of your wife, it's like that's the gateway drug to this. No, no, no.

I don't think it is the mozzarella sticks to the t bone tomahawk. So Tunnicliffe. So true.

And, you know, we don't even see it anymore. You know, this is just how we operate.

So but that's the comfortability. That's I do respect it. I wish I had it.

You can do it, but then you can do it. Steve, you just got to you just gotta push through. You can do it, but do it. Can you do this?

A lot of it was just trying to mimic our horses as best as we could. Six, seven years ago I started writing actual horses and from there I was involved in a lot of community with my foreign friends. And we discovered that we all had this cool talent where we can all jump over obstacles just like a horse, all four legs so good.

She's really hot to be doing pretty hot.

But I remember Christopher child, so I'm definitely not doing that. No.

And by the way, this is a huge meme on the talk. There are these horse girls who are literally people who jump around.

I thought it was a pretty like very much anybody could its important videos online. And about 2016, I realized that she's one of a kind.

I was able to jump pretty high and from particular kept going.

I assume they're all white girls, right? Yeah, they've got to be white chicks.

That was really impressive and that was really amazing.

And you can do so much with this. That's one of the things that's so great about this, is that this talent will carry you.

Oh, yeah. And open doors you can do. There's so many contests for them, you'll always be some kind of like, cool party trick. I can say hopefully. Honestly, it really has helped me. Does me.

I was pretty shy kid and I think, oh, I see myself online, especially in this kind of like weird and unique way has show me that it's OK. Hold on. How many Twitter followers does she.

She's pretty big. I is like fifty one thousand.

Well, well she deserves this is a community. These girls are usually not wealthy like she is because she looks like she has a nice house. Usually the girls that are out in the forest like these weirdo fairy type girls that like to pretend to be horses, she's like the hottest normalised look. She's cute. I've seen. Yeah.

In the future, I think it'll always be some kind of like, cool party trick, I can say, and I can do it honestly. It really has helped my confidence as a kid. And I think posting myself online, especially in this kind of like weird and unique way.

You're right. You want to be different. It's more than 1000. That's more than me.

You had a Bond movie. I have a movie. I had a TV show and I got like a fifty. That's fucking humiliating. I have I should quit show business.

You should you should probably call it a horse.

This is the most useless talent. I mean, besides. Hold on. Let's think about you. Remember that guy we used to get so mad at? This was at the spoon's guy. Oh, God. I know.

He'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people sitting in an arena.

Yeah. Watching this in an arena like like a like a half theater, you know, and they're like, I got to quit.

Everyone's in there. That's really fun to write.

This talent definitely beats that stupid. Yeah. That guy's a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. This chick needs to make like a dinner theater where you come. It's like medieval times and you eat dinner and you sit in a. Arena, and you watch her job. I would go to watch this like I go to Hooters and get six of these chicks to race around the fucking restaurant, I'd fucking put money down. Yeah, I would love that.

That's like a Married with Children episode.

Here's a cool treat to hurting. This one is a cool little party trick.

Oh God. It's like boom.

Oh, no.

Oh. Did you know he had to know that was coming? He got knocked, yeah. Would that be crazy? How did you drown? Well, I was standing at the bottom of a water slide. Wow.

I mean, come on.

Deep shit so fast, right? Yeah. You stupid. This is when another party trick.

Oh, Jesus. His teeth have got to be good.

Oh, God. All right. Oh, Jesus. That's a really funny one year later conquer that which conquered you, right?

That's what they say. No, he's back. He's back. Oh, no, dipshit. Nails it. Watch this guy persevering, man. Say you got to persevere in life.

It's amazing. Oh, oh, oh. You set that up.

I was like, oh, good for you. Go for him. No, fuckface. Tom is the master of setting up these clips.

Oh, God. Oh, shit. That was really funny.

Pretty cool. By the way. I've never seen a vending machine with candy. Oh, I know you just an Eminem machine. I've never seen that. Are they that popular? I guess so. How much would you love that vending machine in the hotel that you stayed out that you shit on?

You threw your diarrhea pantheist Eminem out. Yeah, well, actually, I heard that the diarrhea pants, if you raise it up a flagpole, it's the official flag of Tunisia.

I think you're right. You want to be you want to be slightly uncomfortable doing a shit place.

What a nightmare. Have you been in these places? Have you done, like, gigs in parts of Africa? Well, I mean, I've done USO tours.

We're in the Middle East and you're just like you've fighting for like. Yeah, you know, why are we here?

Well, yes, it's really bad. I know. But the I always feel bad for female entertainers. Oh yeah.

Over there.

Because there is no, like, self-awareness, like like if we see an attractive woman, you, you kind of respectful and, you know, you try not to be a construction worker, but them over there, they don't give a shit.

They want to go you and talk shit about you.

And yeah, you're a pork chop. You're just a walking pork chop. But here's the deal is that I went with two girls that liked to dress girly and feminine and wear perfume. So they were the decoys and they go out and like, they would smell nice and pretty.

And then I would dress like a bull dyke and felt like I was just there to do stand up and be nice.

Right. And that's how you got them. And so you got like a girl like maybe you want to feel weird, always want to feel weird.

I've gotten a couple of requests to make a demonstration video of my shoelace trick for buttoning up tight jeans. You guys out there would like to wear your jeans tight like I do.

Oh. Huh. Oh yeah.

I like very tight guys and girls, but mostly guys. A lot of women wearing jeans pretty tight. Yesterday's too, you know that it can be a pain in the finger to button up and zip up a pair of tight jeans. Right. So anyway, like my trick. Yeah. Resolves that issue.

OK, I think OK, the waiting that looks something like this.

Oh my God. This man does this. Oh, God, yeah, this is real. How tight are these fucking jeans? There's so much reason y image fan. Yeah, well he did.

All it is, is you're taking shoelaces together and putting it through the hole and wrapping it around. Oh come on. Oh I don't need that.

You pull really tight like you're so tight.

Oh that's actually very clever that though I don't like to see the the New Jersey border. Yeah. You know, I mean, we're trims. I don't need to see that.

I don't like that I should do this video just like he did. And you see my gut like spilling over the button and they're like, where's the button hole? Like, got in here.

Uh, this is for all the mommies watching. What those are pliers.

What where is his dick and balls.

They're under the jeans. Oh my God. How do you deal with dignity.

And so if you like this video and it helped you. Yeah. It's like a button and if there's enough response, maybe I'll make a part too. Oh, please. That's more like gene tips and tricks.

I mean, that is sure to have to be off. I don't know. That's going to totally could have done that with the shirt off. Here's the good news. Enough people did like and respond the comment.

Really, so we lucked out.

Oh, come on. Come on, come on. Oh, wonderful video, sir. Thank you. Oh, OK. Well, name super hot video sir.

I'm going to lie down and point my toes.

Well I watch to replay just scenes in the shower, supersize jeans in the shower. Some people love your mom's house and some people love love.

This is a real fan. This guy wears high and tight and wet. Does that's what we're all about. High tech and wet. Jesus Christ.

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Let me ask you, because I mean, I'm fortunate enough to have been a part of the film, but I mean, obviously I know it's based on your story. I don't know.

But I really am curious, how did it such people don't realize how improbable it is to get a movie made like.

Did you have the script and you just sent it to somebody to read it? So here's what my show got canceled and my my phone was never ringing off the hook, even when I was on the air.

So it's just like, all right.

Well, I guess the only way anything is going to happen is if I write something and I was on the road just kind of like, you know, back in the clubs. And I was like, what's the one thing I'd want to see? And I never saw a great film about standup.

I've never seen one. I've seen films that have standup in it, but not just about standup. So I thought, all right, that's what I'll try to write.

And I wrote it and I gave it to Vince Vaughn, good friend. And I said, Could you read this and just tell me I did this as an exercise to see if I could write something. And he called me like a month or two later.

He's like, there's good bones here. I think we can do something with this.

And I'd go on the road and then Monday I'd meet with Peter and Vince. They'd give me notes. And then Wednesday through Saturday, I'd be on the road working. And I just work on the script. And I did that for eight months. And then we got in in good enough shape. We thought eight months. Four months. Yeah.

And I think if I lived here and I wasn't traveling, oh.

A little sooner, but, but then they, they were like, all right, I think we can get this done. And then within like a month it got financed.

And then Vince goes, we're going to make this. What do you want to do? Do you want to be in it?

I said, well, I'm too old to be the future and I'm too young to be the headliner, like, visually. So I said, I'm just I'm happy it's being made, man.

I'm fuckin like, this is great. He goes, Well, why don't you direct it? I was like, well, I never directed anything before. He goes, It's your story. You'll direct it. I go, I'll direct it.

And so just like that. Just like that. So I read, I read Directing for Dummies, Elia Kazan.

I read all the books I could.

I took the master classes and it will never ever get you prepared for and being cool.

Oh, I was, you know, in over my head but but the cast and crew were great. And the first thing I told everybody the first day I go, look, it's my first time. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't know everything about the lights. I don't know everything about the cameras, but I know everything about this story. So just be patient with me and I'll do my best.

And I think that won me a little sympathy different than being like, I fucking know what I'm doing. Dickheads.

Yeah, yeah. Action wasn't anything but Eva. I even forgot to say action. The very first take. We're sitting there and Peter Billingsley's hear the monitors there.

Jimmy and Alex are there to do the first scene in the diner that takes place after Jimmy does radio for the very first time as a comic and.

And my assistant director already is there and he goes, You good? I'm like, Yeah, I'm good. I put on my headset, I'm looking at the monitor. He's like, You ready?

I'm like, Yeah, I'm ready. And I'm taking it all in.

I'm like, holy shit, I can't really have this is really cool. And he looks at me again. He goes, You got to say action. Oh Jesus Christ got action.

So they play out the scene and and Jimmy and Alex, the scene ends and they keep improving.

And Alex is on SNL and Jimmy, obviously great comic. And I'm I'm like, this is great.

They're just improving. Now, let's see what happens with the scene in Arrigo's. They're going to improv. I go, yeah. He goes, yeah, they're going to keep doing it. I go, Yeah, yeah, let them.

He goes, you've got to say cut. Yes, Jesus Christ. Yeah. The two things they don't tell you what you're signing. An eight year old wouldn't know how to do that shit. I fucking you were in the moment man. Yeah, totally in the moment by the way.

It's super. I don't know, you probably got past it, but like seeing Peter Billingsley and like. Yeah, like it's so right because he's the kid from a Christmas story.

And like, every time he was talking, like just figuring out what I was like as Ralphie, I got Shihri out.

I just wanted to say it like 100 times. And yeah, he's he actually looks like still a little kid, like a man who still has, like, the baby face. Yeah. Yeah.

I was friends with Peter for two months before I realized it was Peter. From what I had no fucking clue. And I always heard Amede was friends. I met Peter through him at a Met and I was sort of his friends with Peter Billingsley from Christmas to White Men.

And I was like, oh gee.

Oh, that's that's crazy because it kind of. Yeah. Oh, he looks great when he has a little bit.

He had glasses on to the right like he had glasses on set, but he's a he's a handsome dude and and he goes call me Ralphy.

Like when you mean he loves that. Yeah. Yeah. But he's one of the he's done so much. Yeah. Like you when he produced the original Iron Man. So I remember going to the set and meeting Robert Downey and he's got to bus of the original Iron Man mask and he's so associated obviously with Christmas story.

But you look at his resume like, holy cow, you've got a lot of shit. Ton of shit.

Yeah. Yeah. And thank God he was on the set because he was he was a godsend because, again, you know, I'm still learning on the fly, but I think I figured it out the last day. The last day. You're like, I think the director's movie now. Yeah, I'm ready to do it. Yeah. Well, here's a clip from the film. Let's figure it out.

This is me. I had shit my pants in the hallway and I kept them on in the movie because we didn't have a good budget. What's the set up? What is he saying that he's doing? Oh, that's nice. Right there. Yeah. Cakra what is he doing? Tugg what is he justifying. This is just more gene footage.

What's your problem. Can we always have him to cut to like I feel like I need someone's jeans. I need wet jeans. Do you think I want this always on deck.

I need to see something like another uncomfortable thing to watch. So you remember, do you remember this guy?

You guys go, oh, good. Oh, good. Everybody remember this guy?

Well, you reminder, of course, some of you all have forgotten. So many of you are my friend. That means I want to fuck you.

Hang out with me. I want it back. Yeah. I never.

Yeah I never have. Now, I never have. Yeah, ah, my friend, I want to fuck you, yeah. Yeah. And he goes, I don't have people, I don't know if I never have. So he says it like it's an actual like a real quality you're looking for.

And someone you know, like when you get a friend request from him, you got to take it seriously.

A friend request on Facebook.

So, you know the Jean-Guy the jeans.

But this dude did another article of clothing. You want to see what he wants to talk about?

Sure. I have a question about leggings available that I like men now or I should just say penis owners. So I buy these and they look great.

They do look great. They look amazing. They do look great. But I'm embarrassed to say I. I got a junk. There's the see, the seam is going right through my junk and it hurts. Yeah.

Junk. Hmm. A lot of junk.

So does anybody know of a way to modify leggings are designed for vagina owners. Yeah. And then put a coat pocket on it. Yeah. I need somebody to tell me some wizardry magic about stitching and selling stuff because the thing is drop here in there if you don't me or whatever.

Yeah. Drop pocket. Help him out. He's so earnest.

Yeah. But the problem is if you don't have somebody make that pocket, if you just have that theme, then you could, you know, you could accidentally end up like this guy.

Oh no. Oh Jesus Christ. No. You just saw it on the monitor. Oh my balls.

My cock. Ben pulled a Chris Christie there. Yeah. Yeah. Opening pitch. He does. Yes. Chris Christie. Yeah. Well, no, not yet.

No. OK, no he's not that well.

I mean you did the contact tracing I guess because he's one of the super and it was just all these Baskin Robbins and they went too well it's like oh boy.

Oh shit. I mean that's bad. That's just that is at least bends in shape. But man, it just. Yeah. Wouldn't you though just be like, you know what, I'm not going to wear it. Right. Like they put it on. Yeah. Just give me like a shirt that says NYPD.

I would just go I'm not playing. Yeah. How about no wait. No it's the simplest. Don't tuck the shirt in. Right.

You can leave it in baseball. It's hard if you're wearing the uniform, you got to wear the uniform. But I just be like, hey man, I'm just going to keep my regular shirt on and just give me like an oversized jersey or something, you know?

Good. Well, I like that. The headline for this is Let's all take a second to last. They guess somebody wrote that for him. Thanks, guys.

Well, thank God we should make. But now hold on.

But but you would expect him to catch the baseball and try to bite it, like working on it. But back to the guy with the beard who wants advice on the leggings.

If we may go to his image very quickly here, OK, because it looks as though on his eyes he's wearing black, uh, makeup or eye shadow.

Oh, you mean there's there is a almost like somebody.

Yes.

Looks out for those and almost looks like he was assaulted recently right here. Look like they're wearing those pants. But here's the deal, man. It's weird to think of someone with his personality kind of rubbing up on someone the wrong way.

But with eye shadow, the goal is to keep it on the lid, not to smear it. So he took his fist and went up with it in the forehead.

That's not normal. Are you saying that he throws the rules out the window?

Because I feel like he does, too. He pulled a bad match. Charlize Theron. Yeah. Spreading it. Well, the reason he's asking anybody strangers for advice in such a vulnerable position is because he has no friends.

Yeah. Oh, because he's only friends with people he wants to fuck.

And they've all they've all left deserted. They all found out and were like, oh, no, no, I don't want to do that. Yeah. That's not part of the social contract.

How did he get the string around the guitar pick? I don't know. That's the interesting thing. That's a really good question. By the way. One of your own. Your own. So this whore was a Goth slut back in the day.

Were you like Goth makeup?

Were you really young guy so many years from the time I was thirteen, like twenty. So it's just Robert Smith.

Oh, Ron, should you ever go after the blowback? She was how she won. She blew the cure. I believe the whole the whole band.

The whole band. The whole band. Even old fat Robert. Not when he was hot young old fat Robert Smith. But you were super gothe soup.

I would not have purple hair, blue hair, pink hair, all of all.

White makeup, trench coat, trench coat, mafia velvet cloaks in the middle of summertime. They were kooch putting a cigarette.

I would stop at Denny's, yeah, shit on everybody. Yeah, that was that was the God. It's right. Yeah. So it's crazy.

There's a goth lady in a restaurant of sorts and the owner of the place. Feels like her golf attire and appearance and persona bump up against who he is as a Christian and a man.

Hey, Paul, you want. God bless you, you fucking moron. Yeah. You take away, girl. Take away. Yeah. Yeah. God bless you. And fucking Satan, lady. Yeah. God bless. Jesus Christ. You're fucking demonic bitch. Get out of my fucking building. Yeah. Gary told me who you really were and I talked to. Oh, yeah, yeah, and so did I. So did I.

I don't give a shit. Get on you, don't you? Fucking around like fucking every day. Jesus Christ.

Your favorite fucking bitch out of love with Jesus Christ, you daemonic fucking bitch. Why am I demonic bitch. Shut the fuck out of my life. Boston's bad ass burgers. No, take a look at her. Yeah, we got pictures. I look good. Oh good. She looks great.

That's actually really good makeup in here. I like that with the black lipstick and. Oh, for sure I did that. Here's the deal, by the way. I think that's pretty hot. Yeah, it is hot. It looks cool as fuck. She looks dope.

The thing is, is that when I was goth, I would have dreamed of a reaction like that.

This is why your Goth is to get people to freak out and be the devil.

It's so rare.

And that's a thrill. It's a did you ever have anyone come, like have any type of you know. Yeah. All the time. Well that's why you do it. No, but I mean you would remember someone yellow not like that.

You just had people be like Beetlejuice or like who's all we like. You are Satan now. Nothing cool like that. That was really cool.

Jesus Christ, you daemonic fucking bitch. Why am I a demonic bitch? Get the fuck out of my life. Boston's bad ass burgers. No, take a look at her. Yeah, we got pictures. I look God damn good. She does look good.

Yeah, very. Suzzy in the Banshee's. Yes that's that's my face. She had the. Yeah I did that make up to it. Fifteen have left her big time.

I did a lot of that. Now that is Susie you're like you spelled it right. Chod poser weekender. Yeah.

She had the best one with a fishnet arms and I used to cut my tights, my fishnets to, to get them over my head like that and make the fishnet arms as Susie had. Yeah.

Was a drop in high school. Would it be like the goth girl dating the homecoming king. You know dude that because that's like a nerdy that's like one of those, those 80s, 90s movie, 80s, 90s movies.

Or he would have to change the Goth girl into a normal girl before he would fuck her. That's that's the key. Like al Qaeda had to be made hot before the jock headbanger banger. That's right.

Yeah. But they seem to want to fuck you. The all those jocks, like Tom was a jock. You you were a football player. You would have secretly fucked me in high school. Not so secretly.

Yeah. Yeah. I would have taken you out to the dumpsters and get to see burn.

Are you ready to talk. But were looking for me. Let me tell you, the talk is clamped down on me sharing them on my Instagram stories.

They did huh.

They've disabled it for the most part, so it's become quite difficult for me to curate and to keep up the work I'm trying to.

Christina is a big, big tech doctor and she likes to find the best talks, not the topics they want.

You, man, the mainstream media, the real talk, the real talk, real time, the dark lane, the dark talks.

So these are some that she has pulled and we just watch them and talk about them.

Look, I'm trying to do something on my phone, you to talk loser motherfuckers I hate with such great hatred. You want to box with me? Let's do it, punk ass bitch. Just leave me the fuck. OK, please vote.

Please register to vote. This guy is actually running for Congress. I don't know what motivate you, just like his message.

So I just thought that you would appreciate his anger and his whole account is dedicated to threatening people like this all the time. Just that's it. That's all.

I'm not sure I love a guy that lives within threats.

Pretty great guy.

But if you're a woman with great personality, then hit me up on Instagram. And Fleche, 31, is the same as my username on Ticktock. But I would take everything in the bank right now and take them, you want to go go fucking nuts. It's all me, pal. Yeah, yeah.

He seems like such a sweet guy. Does he mean he does.

But he's such a virgin and he doesn't know how how poorly constructed this message is.

He just doesn't know. He's just naive.

You know, he doesn't. So Tom, what would you tell him? First of all, I would say delete this post. Yeah. It's so embarrassing, right? Yeah. Good lighting, nice eyes. He's cute. I'll tell you. Sweet. That's that's right. He's adorable. He's got a dick nose. He does have a dick nose. That's that's should be his lead message.

I'll fuck you with my nose ladies. Yeah.

But it's too desperate, right. Yeah. It's going to bars and sneezing. Go. Sorry. Just premature ejaculation. Right. Come on, let's do a shot with them. Party guy.

The funny thing about guys who go like ladies if you want to meet up, all they have to do is stop doing that and be themselves and be somewhat like if he was like, I love, you know, furniture. And he was like, just did post about it. Somebody would go, Oh, I see what your real personality is like. Right? I'd be attracted to him. It's to talk to him being like, hit me up.

If you're if you have a nice personality, reach out to me.

That's never going to put the ball. It puts the onus on the other person. And also, like, I don't know what your personality. Yeah.

So what am I being attracted to exactly what is like to be the guy that either that says if you got a good puss. No. You know, Trevor. No.

And there's plenty of those guys we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trevor I mean there's um there's actually like a guy who literally did that.

He's a guy. I'll be honest with you.

I don't mind if a woman uses me for money as long as she's willing to come on my face right here, Zibo.

Jacqui, the minute I saw him start the video like this looking down, I was like, give me a forgan.

Life is a buffet of deliciousness, both the reflective sunglasses on.

Very cool. Tom thinks that this guy looks like him. Yeah, I was like, I can see myself. Here's the thing. I don't I don't mean Christina. I don't have two kids. Yeah. I'm putting out videos to you every week.

I'm like, I'm on the road. I'm in Philly. What's up, horse? Hit me up. Love for you.

Yeah, you'd have to start wearing those flame button down t I mean, that guy's right there. You really look at that. She's got two rings on you right there by the way.

That's a guy, a girl in her twenties would go out with, but would be surprised that when they go to Chili's, he says, you can only order from the left side of the bar.

Right. Right. I don't mind you using me for my money. And she fucking would freak out. She was, like I said, a picture of you to my parents and they're really upset with me.

Oh, OK. Here we go. Oh, boy. Good. He's back. All right. Good morning.

My quin's above eighteen. You guys are beautiful this morning. Very lovely. Take cover and pour off yourself and get up and start today. Come on, put the feet on the ground. Go get your shower, get you a nice hot breakfast and start your day.

OK, no date for a wonderful day. It's going to be nice out. The king loves you. You guys are beautiful. You can do anything. Queens above 18, you guys have a good day and I will talk to you later. Who is his hair?

I'm like, who is doing the bidding? This is a lane of dude.

So is the guy who shouts out just like women. Yeah. And he's like, you know, and this is like, I'm positive.

I'm inspirational. He makes the distinction of above 18, as in I've slipped before.

So I want to make it clear, talking to adults, you know, legally, I have to say this.

My lawyers insisted, but he's saying everything my mom said to me when I was like in eighth grade, but in a very sweet man, put your feet on the ground, start the day, get a nice breakfast and get the fuck out of this house. You can live your life. You can live your dreams. Just get off.

That's my mom in eighth grade, waking me up with the vacuum cleaner, hitting me, saying all those same things, but not as lovingly.

And now he's saying it from a truck stop. So, you know, got the banks.

He's he's a truck driver. Yeah. Yeah. That to my point above eighteen. Let's have fun, please. If you're below the age of 18, back to my wishes. Please don't do this challenge how you become eighteen. You can I trust you guys won't I love you all. OK, what we can do is have fun with this. OK, take an old white T-shirt writing on the front or the back and do a video. Have fun with it.

Enjoy. Let's make some videos. I want to see them. I want to laugh. You know, the king likes to know Brau look. Let's have fun, you guys have a beautiful night and I will be looking for the videos. Thank you. Come on.

That's what she hears in his head. Yeah, it's like. Thank you.

I also like that he thinks he came up with, like, something interesting to try to see.

Oh, you're just ramping up here. I know, but he's like I got I got a whole thing for us to do. Just take your tits out and show them to me. That's that's his challenge.

Show me your tits and then let's have fun with it. Yeah. Well, who's having the fun?

Show me your tits, Jill. Here's the challenge. You know, you have tits.

Show me this isn't funny. Yeah.

That's the kind of guy that would hear that his video was on and then. Right you go. How do I start writing for TV? Yeah, it's like, oh, no, no, no.

Uh, well, the first thing you do is you shout out to the adults in television.

Oh my God.

Hey, I want to tell you about this baby. Akhilesh, stored away for quite a while now. And she is it buried just just so doll. So I pronounce that right.

She apparently she was from the 90s before it became Berenger.

So that's exciting. I actually have original and it's exciting and she's absolutely adorable.

And I add another one to my Berenger collection. Oh, OK. Thank you for pulling this. Christina Birgitta's. Most of them are pretty weird for me, especially ones.

So the ones she should be here. OK, I do think she should be here by Monday. All right. So you watch what she looks like. Oh OK.

So this year. Oh yeah. Appreciate it.

All right. So I decided to add to my collection. Yeah.

Tom, why aren't you excited for him? Just be excited for someone else's happiness the way you were responding. Yeah, OK. That's me on the phone with my parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good conversation.

Exactly. Yeah. OK, you got the doll. Do you forget, do you face time with them. Hmm. Fuck no. No because they never know how to work. Of course whomever's.

And then when I see you and they're like you talking about like fuck it you're ah then they'll show me like like my dad from his ear. I'm like lean more into the frame those I can see you, you can see it on your fucking skin.

Don't see your ear or it's their ceiling always. We don't understand how this works like.

Oh yeah exactly. It's not. And then she'll actually be like um I'm not seeing you. And I'm like right here but you're out of frame.

Can you hear me? Yeah. Can you hear. I can hear you. That's when I go to hell.

Yeah. That's what it's going to be, a tablet.

And my mom and dad trying to FaceTime me eternity of that fucking totally one bar.

You want to yell at them do you like. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. The rage comes out. I can't do it. I can't do it. I have such a short fuse.

I say the word. I'll be like you're the oldest, dumbest people.

And then my dad will be like, well so my mom will be like, well it's very nice talking to you to that video.

Yeah. Oh my God. I you know, you see things all the time posted. That's the hardest I've ever laughed at.

Anything I've seen online.

And I'm talking facher on a motorbike like that, kind of like where you watch it three times and you're still like crying like there's no way to and it just goes on and then just the oh like when I've had a lot of is.

Oh yeah.

There is there. Oh how many years are we on on this. I have no idea. It's.

It's. No.

It's so great that, oh, yeah, that's like when you should turn a shark upside down there in that perpetual state of shock, that's what I mean, just her reaction.

Oh God. Just amazing. It was perfect. It was just slow and like, oh, actually, here's the thing.

The you know, she's started like this my whole life. Yeah. And so she had farted once before that.

And I go jokingly, I'm like, you think you've got a good one? And then you think you can really cook one up. And she goes, she goes like, let me see.

And she turns and I see her and I see your hands. Brace the counter. Yeah.

And I reach in my pocket, you know, with the summoning all the powers of I hit the v the camera button like I'm already here, we got that boom and like right away I was like, let's see.

Come on, come on, come on. And it was like it was perfect.

It was from the gods. I mean, it was amazing. Dude, I had companies hit me up, right.

Because we we threw all that like TMZ shit on there because I knew people would they just I go, I don't want anyone throwing their their labels on it. So I put my shit out. I had companies being like, hey, can we license that video.

Yeah. Are you see. And they're like, can you send us the original. I was like, no, no. Wow.

Yeah. Because your mother's fart is just for you. Yeah.

It's not nice. I'm not trying to monetize my mom's farts unless it's for my own benefit.

You go to Spencer gifts and see that T-shirt farting Mom. Yeah I know. Yeah. You don't want that. Yeah.

We just set up the website fart mistress' dot com that where we told people to please like plea for her to fart more and then I would send her the messages that all your fans are sending the messages fans and I tried to get ahead. Yeah I go when you fart more for us.

Yeah. And I was like for, for money and she was like I'm not a prostitute. And I go and I go, what about. But it's real money. And she's like, how much.

I was like thousands of dollars.

Oh wow. She's really friendly.

Now you Rutenberg and I'm going to stop you turn up some videos and you the Biden report, going to be sure that we to try the brand all the way out there and carry on with her young son, Jesus Christ, Lord, we invite you to get the fuck of the mouth of Jesus report.

I'll have a lot more significant than four videos. Oh, and check out my YouTube channels because my YouTube channels are becoming very soon. So far, it's to take it easy and look after your friendly neighborhood, Bogon, BVI, all these is your friendly neighborhood. And so I don't know. I just wanted the master of accents.

Maybe he could translate what I'm so upset looking at his mouth that I don't even want to replay it.

It was like the Rand Corp. hit from Return of the Jedi with a rattail. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Oh my God. Yeah.

I don't I don't understand how you can neglect your mouth to that degree.

Well, it's called alcoholism. I don't know if he's drunk. He's a drunkard. I think so.

This is no longer what it would be like a white trash.

And what would you do if if his next day he's like, I've never had a sip alcohol my entire life.

Christina, he said to me, oh, no, zero is there as is in my life.

I'm gonna take a drink. You can go yourself tonight. I am.

Thank you. That's the woman you never tell a secret to, that, you know, she can't whisper.

She's the fat retard, the one over there.

Yeah, that don't don't point. Don't write that fat lady.

Yeah. Don't please. Please, Candace, what is that you think when you know people like that, you're like, what are you doing here? I just told you to keep it down. You don't share that. Don't touch that. Yeah. Oh, this this. There you go. Always my kids that afternoon.

My queens above 18. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is the king. I have a young lady here that is going to be part of our team that is going to do the computer work.

Her name is Cheryl and she is going to be another one with jazzmen that you are going to be talking to, Mike. Hi, Cheryl. Hi, everybody. She's got to make on the computer work. I get it, and this guy, his orders. This is the one that is going to be ordering the product. So you need to get on my website and tell her how pretty she is and how much that you're going to appreciate her doing a good job on the computer work and ordering and or have a wonderful night.

And I love my queens above 18 Queens. Good night.

So he has this lady convinced. He's like, I got a pretty big presence on social media. I got a lot of fans. I got this whole thing going on and she doesn't know what the fuck's up.

So she's like, you know, I can do like HTML. He's like, you know, you could come work for me, me, do my site, take over.

A lot of people order things, you know. Exactly. I have a whole I have a slogan above 18 Queens.

And so she's just like, I think working with a celebrity. Right? Exactly. Because maybe in their town he is a big celebrity, right? Yeah, he is that guy.

It's always asking to see tits.

Honey, grab that trapper keeper. Your dreams are about to come true. Can you imagine? She's like, I work for that guy. I'm lucky enough to get the job.

I don't get paid, but I'm around him all the time and it's pretty cool. She went in for the job interview, like, I got to make sure I have to donate batteries because they're going to wear the good shirt for this one and really impress this guy.

Really impress Jesus Christ. Tell her, why would you tell the. Because, hey, I don't know about low lying genius when I was running. Come on, I don't need nobody here.

I don't care who. Have a good man sat my own ass, come on, OK? He just raps. So here's the did you see the business page? There it is. You've got it. That's that's the product. No. One more. Yeah. Can I just be the last one? Sure.

This is the. I can't believe I know, I know I told you it gets better and better. I mean, how much of a blessing in the skies was Queens above 18? And now I just keeps giving and giving and giving. This guy's account is so amazing.

I know. It's so good.

It's so good afternoon. Oh, no. Oh, no. We got a mock up shirt that we done with a marker just to show you what it's going to look like. These are the muscle shirts and it's going to say queens above eighteen. When the printer prints them, we just took a marker and marked on them. It's going to say Queens above eighteen, but we're just having fun with it. So we threw a smiley face.

You have a wonderful night and enjoy the video.

And she's going to start laughing here in a minute. There she goes. You guys have a wonderful night. This is what muscle shirts got. I got it. I got the fucking concept professionally done. We're just having fun tonight, OK? You guys have a lovely night, OK? King loves his queens above 18 in Queens.

So she's now on board with this whole enterprise. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Of the shirt business. Now he's in the merch business.

Her body looks like Kermit the Frog with your tits look like the eyes and then the mouth. It looks like a big hole, but underneath the shirt made it even better.

Wow. So, I mean, hey, at least he's capitalizing off this moment that he's having the shirt.

I mean, yeah, I know.

I love the way he goes a little professional when we get it done. But we just wanted to show you how it could look.

Not professional. So we drew it. And with not a model, right?

Oh, no, no. I wouldn't use her as a. Could you let your boobs hang for the promo?

Well, it's to sell product. Yes. Mission accomplished.

Oh, Jesus.

OK, I'm done looking at these.

What about the last three? You saw the cool ones. Oh, please. All right. Have you ever had a pen pal, Steve?

Maybe like in fourth grade. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. I think we were signed one. You remember where the other. Oh, I was a kid in Mexico or something. This is kind of like that.

My name is Zachary Arvizu, AARP. I see you. My number is one one five four six two.

I'm looking for some pen pals, maybe something extra. I've been a musician for 13 years. You can find me on Jipé Dotcom. It's JPA Wired.com and I look forward to hearing from anybody who hits me at. All right, later. Well, these are prison talks. See, he that's the kind of guy like an interview like that.

That's the last five minutes of Dateline, right after you spend the whole rest of the time and Dateline going, is this guy in jail?

Yeah. And then like, oh, fuck, he did it. And then they cut to him and he's in jail. Yeah, that's what that reminded me of. Yep. Oh yeah.

My name's Kusang Lewis. I'm twenty one. I'm looking for people I could talk to your past time with. Get to know I get out in March of twenty twenty one and I would like to have some good friends just for my get out. If you ever show me some love my number is one two eight three. Why don't you tell us what you did. Yeah.

I mean I can decide whether to write to you or not. You know, start my name.

C.S. Lewis, armed robbery. I'm here. I can.

Yeah. Look him up.

Yeah, that's a gun. My name's Jason. We're not eight nine to five. Hit me up on JP. No, I'm single. I'm a gentleman. No, for pimples. New friends are that beautiful someone. I'm a tattoo artist. No shit. I like animals. I like spending time with my family so I don't email me on JPEG, not some stamps so I'll be impatiently waiting for you.

Oh, he's got a personality. I think he's the sexiest of the three. If you're playing a dating really him. I might have to go for that point. Yeah.

So if we're going for prison you want the Mitt Romney fundraiser in the middle of a clean cut, all-American.

He's probably way dicier than Jason. I feel like the ones that are don't think our dog and we like what's up? What's up, doc?

Right now, that's what I fucking tires. Yeah, he's fucking coming after me right now.

We've got to go. I want to see Jason on a merry go round. I always want to see like a thug merry go round. See if you could still be having a good time on the merry go round. Yeah. Yeah.

And he lets his guard down just for a moment. Yeah. Yeah. He smiles. It's fun, right?

He's saying he's like, yeah. You like that was fun. He's like we look at that faggot.

All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just. You look like you're having fun some fool.

Dude, before we go, do you want to see we played this earlier.

This is a senator in Argentina that's on a zoom. I just I can't stop it.

It's so preposterous that this person is like an elected official.

All right. And he's on a Zoome with other, like, officials. Right. And he's got a girl sitting on his lap. And look, he does this on the news right in the middle of it.

And these are all solito in solitude. Fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no kidding.

Whoa oh oh oh oh.

I would love it if all the if the girls were like, oh my God. And all the guys are like they just pulled it off.

You just see them going like, oh we love you. When we went, oh boy. When you said I thought I thought he said Pattana put away.

But I heard this title.

I don't think it sounded like she's like and this fucking book basically like you are not going to fucking believe.

Yeah.

You know, that guy, the guy translating on the right are doing sign language. Doesn't it look like the Denver airport guy? He sees the the dicks that it does. It does. He puts out by the way, I asked the DA for his info.

He puts out like sixteen videos a week. No. And they're each like an hour.

He's like praying the rosary for Trump today or like praying the rosary for this legislation to pass. And he talked for an hour.

He does more than studio jeans, but he does, he does tequila and every video has like, you know one hundred and thirty one views and shit like that.

Still going, still pushing for it. Still still. You were doing a deep dive on Denver Airport.

Well, this guy this guy we saw has a real theory on it. Yeah.

What have you found about just all the artwork is like satanic. And then that horse, as you go into it, as you go to the airport, the you know, that that Bronco or whatever?

Yeah, I thought it was like Denver Broncos. I know. And then you look in the like eyes light up at night. Yeah. It's fucking evil looking. And then I heard that the artist, the curated, that it fell on him and killed him and then they put the horse back up and kept it there. I mean, hold on.

You just know this stuff. I had heard about it from another comic or two.

And then there was something on like, well, like History Channel about how. There is supposedly like underground tunnel, was it this show on the History Channel? This is it. Welcome to Revelation Unraveled. This program is a continuation of my series on the Denver International Airport and especially the murals and the art contained there in because they are evil, they are signs of Satanism. And on this program, I will point out that many of them are phallic symbols.

I'm listening now.

In previous videos, I have pointed out that this is actually the figure of a naked woman and the crotch is formed by a burned form.

That's not true. That was Chris Christie, the penguins during the opening pitch.

That's constitutes a phallic symbol and in fact, represents the male genitalia. Please notice that the Latin name for this bird includes the word in Spanish.

That is not accidental. The artist chose this bird for a reason, and that's because the bird standing upright is phallic. The shape of the scientist found and even the name is phallic.

He's really into it in a way. But this is what you're saying, Steve. This is. Yeah, you're you're telling me on this now?

I had heard it and then I saw something on the History Channel about it. And they they went through and showed the different artwork in different art pieces. Scott and they said Satanic, too. They were showing that some of them had satanic symbols inside.

As you approached the Denver airport by car, you are immediately struck by this. Oh, there's the statue of a blue fiberglass horse.

Many of the shapes on the horse's tail and main are phallic shapes. And, of course, it is a masculine horse. Next, let's take a look at the layout of the Denver airport, it looks like day on YouTube have shown that this is in the shape of a swastika. But there's one video that also points out that the outdoor baggage handling area is in the shape of a phallus.

Let's take a closer look here. You called it.

Now, this photograph was taken on a snowy day, which makes this area actually a little clearer. Up here we see the testicle area. So there's no doubt that the designers of this airport and other in mind and making an efficient baggage area, it was just images upside down, just engineers.

They were all queen. Yet he has a lot of theories on this. Just a brief comment on a new Flaig created for the Obama campaign. Now, up here on the left, we have the official logo of the Obama campaign, and that's a big ol, which, of course, stands for him. And below that, there are several stripes which indicate the homosexual movement. In other words, the rainbow flag.

And below Obama's logo, we have two stripes and three stripes, which look much more like streaks of blood. Now, some people don't like this kind of perversion of the American flag because it is very satanic.

I guarantee you stand in Thailand.

I guarantee you stripes over three equals represent the Antichrist. There you go. It goes to over three is the number point six six six. Dude, wow. OK, well, I mean, and you came out, you get it now you're starting to see things. Yeah, but I'm awake now. I'm awake. Yeah, but you came in here just knowing this stuff. Yeah, you did. You confirmed everything this guy has been saying to us.

Are you this guy in disguise.

That's right.

Him. OK, that's right. It's me. And I want anybody that affiliates with him. Please see me. Talk to me. I'm making T-shirts tonight. Actually, I'll be selling them. OK, I just hired a woman. Oh, OK. Great.

I have a black sharpie. I have some prototypes that I'm going to share. Yeah. And you're you're queens above.

You're ditching the film just to focus on this, is that correct. I'm going all in baby. That's great. My wife is adamantly against it but I told her fuck Hollywood. Yeah, it's time to pivot.

So to remind folks though, this is a huge it is so massive to to get a film, you know, written, produced. And actually now it's coming out. I know it took a lot of work. So congratulations.

Graduate school. Huge. Thank you for the part in it. I really thank you for doing it. A lot of fun. I watched it. It's hilarious. It's entertaining. It's everybody did a great job. You have an incredible cast. I mean, incredible. Jimmy, of course, kills it as the lead. But yeah.

You know, Cedric Bill Burzan and Alex Morphet, Alex Murfitt, Roy Roy Wood Jr., Jon Ralston Peters, it's an incredible lineup.

When he asked Eliza Schlessinger, Kathleen Boden and Joe Johns and Chris Porter. Yeah, there's a ton of comics. I'm just glad it's it's like finally coming out.

It's been just, you know, just a satellite in orbit with all the craziness coming out.

But yeah, but it's funny, you you sent me a text after you watched it and after that text, it was like the blueprint of all the text I would see afterwards of the comics that were like I loved it. It brought back all the awful memories that I thought I was over and. Yeah, yeah.

Because who played them? Who plays that other comic part? Alex Morphet. He plays the the feature feature actor, God damn it.

Well, he really, really reminded me of so many young people you meet on the road. You're like, God, I hope I never meet you again.

Yeah. He did a great job at being the feature that wants to party, that wants to meet girls. That isn't necessarily he's like the guy the first day in prison. It's like I'm going to show you the ropes. Yeah, I'm I'll show you around. But he's the guy. He's still kind of want to do it.

But Alex played him in such a way. He was so endearing. Yeah. Fun and sweet. Nice that it was written to be like a red herring. It's like he was like the nice guy that you meet and then 48 hours and you realize this guy's just out the clock ass.

Yeah. And he's not really here to work. Right. And then narratively, this story was to pivot for Jimmy to start hanging out with Cedric Moore.

And what happened was in the edit, we learned that the audiences were just like, we love this guy, we're so invested and we don't want to not like him now. So we had to recalibrate some of the things in the edit to maintain, you know, who he was in the tone of of his character throughout the whole course of it. So, no, it was great.

Um, it will be available in theaters and it was limited like theater availability and a lot of places right now.

Yeah. If you I guess if you live in a red state, you basically be playing.

Oh, so weird. California. No, it's all VOD, iTunes everywhere. You can run these. Congratulations. Thank you. And thanks again for doing that scene because of course that's a scene where like you could send it to somebody, go just read it first, you know, and you were totally game. And it was it's such a fun reveal. It really is. And it's the repercussions. Jimmy and yours. It was a lot of fun to do.

Thank you for doing it again. Our closing song, Feather in it once again by hand, dog and dogs and another mix. OK, prolific. Thanks so much. Thank you, Steve. Good to see you guys. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.

Did you dumb son of a bitch? You dumb son of a bitch. I'm a third person and become third listed here. He just lost your life and you get a job here, fuckface, you got a job, your face when your father and a.

How do you get a job here, fuckface, to get a job here, fuckface on? You know, you're talking to piercings, Donald Pearson, Donald, which you're fired, and the informal pool of retired double agent giving you the clockface go, you faggot.

Your brain on fire. You have faggot. You you a faggot.

Yeah. Oh, you know what? You're fired.

But see these wire paper on your face.

Do you have your kids ruined your life? Do you have suffered up there? Listen here. You just lost your life. How do you get a job here, fuckface? How do you get a job?

Your face be scared. The fact that just a little bit. Just a little bit off.

Let's go.

When you want to go, that's that's real motherfuckers like yourself on your brain on fire.

I feel great. When your father and I want to tell you, you get a job here, fuckface, how do you get a job, your face up there? Listen here. He just lost your life. Do you get a job here, fuckface?

When you get a job with Buckfast, you. Fucking fucking asshole.