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Good morning. My over 18 jeans shout out to Mr. Clavicles for that one.

I hope you are letting your boobs hang.

And we're going have a lot of fun today. Show me some videos. Hold on. Let me get my glasses on. There she is. She's getting ready to go to college.

That's all I do is I support college girls.

I see. Tom, you're wearing your burgundy shirt. That is the color of Satan. Yeah. Satan's flag in baggage.

You know what I'd like if you're watching this video right now and you're a girl, go ahead.

Let's have some fun to have some fun.

Go get a white t shirt and don't know bra and get a cup of warm water and then poured all over your shirt and just have fun with it.

Have fun. You have fun with it. You make it fun. You make it fun. You send it to me and I'll tell you how good you did.

And that really works. You know, it's like that father dynamic. I think he's really dialing into the broken girl. Yes. Who was like, I just want wanted daddy figure.

All that is is throwing out that that spider web to the broken girls, which is a great life.

It is a good thing if you're a guy and you want and you're like, I've been striking out, you got to go over the broken girls hundred percent. You got to try.

Well, broken girls need love to. Of course they do. And they are easier to manipulate, easier to manipulate.

How many damaged broken wings did you have before me?

You know, I, I got frustrated by them because they're so stupid.

Yeah. But I never. I prompted. Yeah. Yeah they do. Broken girls will do they.

Definitely. Yeah. My dad. And they'll also some really flog themselves for their, for their flaws. Yeah I know.

They're like I'm fucking. Yeah. My dad, my nails aren't painted and you know. Yeah they look like shit. My dad had these hose cleaning his house every week. Different hose. Yeah. And you're right, they're really into the physical stuff and and not being fat. I remember one time my step mom, they've been married for like ten years and she gained a little weight because she hit middle age. And my dad was like, you better lose this weight.

I am not sexually attracted to you. And that was like.

At damage some real shit, right? Yeah, because I don't you wouldn't say that to me. Respect, sir. Respect. Yeah.

Did you do that to damage girls in college when you were did you do the whole, like, nagging thing where you're like you look like shit and then that makes the girl want you more like mystery does that.

It doesn't it's not my you know. I know I know guys that did I just it just not natural for me. I can't. I can't really. Because you don't hate women.

Yeah. I think you really have to hate us to to do that. No.

Right. That is so mean. Oh my oh my. My Broken Arrow interactions were always one night stands.

It was never like that's not more respectful. It is.

I couldn't I didn't court and try to date the broken girl you know. Yeah. You shouldn't. I remember. The funny thing is to these broken wing that I went out with, um, I remember hooking up with them and then within six months, two of them I learned later were pregnant. Oh yeah. Or within a year, let's say.

Uh, so that could have been you you could have had two different. Yeah.

Baby Mama said because those broken girls are like just fucking let it out, they just let you go inside.

And I would kind of be like, what's a condom. All right. Yeah, that's true. My dad paid for a lot of abortions. He did. Yeah. And thank God he did. I think that was much smarter than just letting you know. Yeah, let it go. I mean, I don't know that I could have siblings in other countries.

I'm sure you remember this one house where I was like, I, I busted.

Right.

And then she was kind of big. She she kind of looked she looked like a power lifter. And and then the other the next day I was like, fuck, I shouldn't have done that. You know, I was worried about it. Yeah. And I get you pregnant like twenty. And then I kept like she could tell I was real nervous about it and she was like, what are you talking about? I was like, because, you know, I bust it all in you.

And she was like, no, you didn't. And I was like, What? She goes, You didn't bust inside. And I go, Yes, I did. She goes, That was my butt cheeks.

She was so big that I thought that I was a little thinner.

But that is a neat story to hear from your husband. I think this has gone too far.

So where we we share these funny stories in our daily lives and now I'm like, I don't really need it. I didn't know. I didn't need to know. Yeah. Because I was perfectly fine 30 seconds ago.

Big strong. Like you were into that like a bodybuilder.

No, she masculine. No, no, no. She was very feminine. She just had a broad large body like she was six feet tall. She looked like she rustled cattle, you know, like she was like a fucking.

Oh, like. And she let you have her butt cheeks, I guess she was like this guy going for it, I'm not going to stop. Yeah, and then I was like, so nice.

And there she's like in my cheeks. You must have been really excited. Gosh, I guess so. Are you wasted? Yeah, probably. Yeah, actually not probably. Yeah. Yeah, she was broken and she was broken.

She had problems. I am now till after knowing I think she's God, why do I know this stuff now? I think she's probably not in a good place these days.

Do you think any of these girls now, like, open up Netflix and they're like, oh, yeah, that guy came in my butt cheeks and they're like, dude, Tanya, get over here are like Rick. My husband, like, dude, that guy came in my butt cheeks.

You know what it is? You know, that probably is I bet it's different. I bet what happens is they go, oh, my God, I went out with that guy. And then someone's like, What? You went out there? What happened? Like, Oh, we went to this dinner. It was nice guy. And then all of a sudden the memory comes back to her and then they're like, Did you hook up? And we're like, kind of.

What do you mean kind of. Yeah, he we were kind of doing it. But then he really like to my butt cheeks. What?

And then the rumor spreads that like Tom's in the butt fucking. Yeah. Like you know how Dr. Drew, um, the rumor is now that he fucks all these bitches because of Shaggy. Yeah. Like it just a rumor escalates to how you gave but stuff.

I'm the butt fuck guy. That's a good rep to have, though, to be a butt fucker. Oh, sure, it's not. I mean, it's harmless. I remember in high school it was done to shame people. Yes, but sex Becky's. Because there was this. There was this.

There were these two that was like I had. But I was always like, dude, you're the man now. I was like that. I thought he was like Roko. I was like, you're fucking assholes. And everything is.

Well, yeah, in high school, like, who has butt sex. That's so varsity level. So yeah, there was one girl who did it but sex Becky.

And everyone was like, you talk shit about her. Yeah. You talk shit about the girl. It gives us gives beaches too easily. There was Back-Door Bradley. You know Back-Door Bradley. Yeah. His last name was Bradley. I get it, yeah, so it's very clear, Bradley, but they used it to, like, put him down and the girl would cry all the time. Yeah, it was a small school. So we went back to our Bradley and she was like, hmm, well, everybody find out.

Everybody found out how like that. He must. He must. I don't remember. But he must have been like a fucked her in the ass and everybody was like, no. And so everybody starts calling her like an angel whore and everything, you know, it's so brutal.

It was it's so easy to get labeled a whore in high school. They're like they're like, oh, my God. And then you grow up a little bit and you're like, oh, she's awesome. And he's a savage.

Like, they should be they should be Plax with them around the school, you know?

Well, it's easy to get labeled a whore, especially when you're a girl. Like there was this girl who had huge cans. Yeah. In like sixth grade. And everyone just assumed she was promiscuous because she had this huge rack. Right. There's nothing you can do. God, I remember those those girls hated girls.

I mean, she had huge middle school and high school.

And you're just like, just let me play with them for a minute. I know she was really pretty, this girl. So I. I don't think she ever did anything. Like I think the rumor was just that she was a slut. So messed up. Yeah. All right.

Well, let's get into the opening clip of the show me a fun one.

We got a fun way to finger someone for the first time. Really late. Really, really late. Yeah. Like seventeen. Yeah. Yeah, really late. Yeah.

Because I remember hearing about people getting fingered in like seventh grade and being like, oh, I remember one of my friends fingered a girl in either seventh or eighth grade and I was like he was like, yeah, yeah that's so nasty. And I was like.

And then I remember the first time I fingered a girl, I had never done it and I did it, I was like jabbing it, like not in the hole. And she was like, the fucking find the hole stupid.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's complicated down there. Yeah, I spit on her. All right, let's.

To the opening clip. Ready? Yeah. Here we go. So you're here for Black Lives Matters, but you're using the N-word, the fuck are you here? No, I'm just curious. The fucking words. I'm just curious. You're using the N-word, but you're here for Black Lives Matter. Do you really, honestly live in America in 2020?

You don't know the difference between a hard e r on the end of the N word and in a guy who is ready to this. No, I'm in a fucking stand.

Well, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Secura and Christina. Now. Hey, Tom, where's your water?

Interesting water chip again, this is a really cool clip because this guy is awesome. Um, normally the E.R. versus a N-word explanation is from, like, hardcore, I would say, like conservative types, you know, I mean, like I have the right to say famous, older, like, you know, Ordoñez the arm to be old, but you're just like, what is the problem?

I said, they like you don't usually see a BLM activist white guy being like, do you not know the difference? Like it's I've actually never encountered this. This is like the equivalent of like an alt comic. Right?

Right. I am. Because I do feel as though if you are aligned with the Black Lives Matter movement, that word's likely not in your vocabulary, probably not in a white person's vocabulary, and certainly not the explanation like it was that a on the end.

OK, all right. It's still not cool even to do the A version.

I mean, you're nowadays, right? Yeah. Nowadays, not even for the last many days. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So it's such a it is so hard but this guy I got, I've only seen that clip, I want to see the whole thing so. OK, it's an activist. This is in Portland and yeah. He's, he has BLM, um, like cardboard cut out.

But just let's just see what he said, what he says in my jurisdiction there's a cop if we go to county here, just because we're pursuing someone that commits a crime to our property, this guy, there's nothing he can say or do short of quitting his job. That means anything. None of this goes anywhere or means anything from fucking cop. Dude, put down your work. You're a class traitor. You're working class. You probably make seventy grand a year just like your union.

Right. And and yet. And yet you're policing us. You can have your point. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

OK, so he's like telling the cop that he's full of shit. We should point out that the cop I believe is black. Right. Yeah. So but he's all this guy's is white traitor, which is interesting. Right. So he's calling him, you know.

But you get it, you're like it's real like left wing guy and he's OK.

What did you just say? What do you say to him? I said to do something now. What do you say after that nigga with a never no like the ATF activists at the BLM?

Yeah, not a good year for Black Lives Matter. But you're using the N-word. The fuck are you here? No, I'm just curious. The fucking words. I'm just curious. You're using the N-word, but you're here for Black Lives Matter. You really, honestly live in America in 2020. You don't know the difference between a hard E r on the end of the N word and in a no.

So you're saying white people can say that? I just did. Oh, this guy. Right. Interesting. And you know which white guy specifically the one has been standing over there for hours holding a black lives matter.

So that means you can say whatever you want, white cop. That means whatever you say, whatever you want. Trump supporting full. This guy is all kinds of layers. Yeah, hey, you're the one holding the BLM sign and using the N word that together you never listen to rap music. There's probably I would guess that there are three hundred and twenty million people in the United States. Yeah, probably three hundred and nineteen million of them have heard rap music at some point, have you not?

So that means you can say whatever rap music that means, can say whatever you're in your life. I mean, you can say whatever you heard rap music.

So then, you know, the difference between an A on the end of that word and an E.R., I don't know what freaks me out more like all his scattered logic or the fact that I do feel like he looks like me.

I like I do Cigarette Black Lives Matter.

And I love to see what people like you say. Oh, really? You say stuff like that. Yeah. You have no idea what I'm talking or you're in fact you're talking to a cop, fuck you and everything. In fact I'm the one who had a problem with you saying it. You goofy fuck that shows you fucking dumb ass shows Trump supporter wherever the fuck you are. What did you say, the N-word with an ANA and have you honestly never heard that you never listen to rap music?

It's very clear that with black people carry really dope, OK.

Good explanation. Got it. I have a feeling he doesn't hang out with black people because, like you wouldn't know, I mean, you I don't think you'd make the you wouldn't fight so hard.

Yeah, it's really interesting. Right. Any if I was like, listen, it's really important when I say this word. There's the E.R., there's the it's like, I don't think you'd bring that up.

I mean, my logic behind the word has always been, if you feel comfortable saying it, then it's more than likely a word that you should continue saying until you find out you shouldn't. So, yeah, I feel like he should keep smart.

You should keep using it.

Right, because you do notice his surroundings. Right. Like, it's like the the there's nobody that doesn't look like him confronting him.

That might be it. Yeah. I don't know if like a black kid was there was like what he'd be like.

Do you not listen to rap.

That argument would go far because he saying it not only to another white guy, but to what appears to be clearly a smaller guy, too.

Yeah. I mean, he's got problems like when you lecture somebody and you could tell that he's looking down. So the stature of the person is small.

I have a theory. You know, I have a theory. I think it's because a lot of men are making white alone these days and they're not because of covid. They're not partnering with other people when they're ejaculating. And I think people are pent up and angry. That's your theory on this guy?

Well, I think he was getting lay on the regs. He might not be such an angry cunt, you know? Yeah. Don't you think the world is better if we were all just getting laid in white with other people? Yeah.

And even in their butt cheeks, even especially in their face, you don't have to get all the way in, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's safer to do it in the butt cheeks for sure. Absolutely.

How come you never try to do my butt cheeks. I'll do it this week I promise.

Do you remember were you on top before you were obviously. Were you a missionary or you were laying on there. She was face down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you thought you were in the the dog kind of. Yeah. Sort of pretty fucked up I remember now.

Yeah I.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you're amazing. No, no I don't think she was amazing. I mean I thought she was kind of a scallywag and but she was like. You know, you could tell, too, that she wasn't exactly new to the whole idea of but sexy, you know, of like it's like new people busted loads in her car.

She was like, what? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. Cool. Cool hooker. All right. OK, let's do something. This on the phone, OK? This is fine. We'll switch it out. This is pretty serious. Sorry, guys. Open on the N word.

Oh, I mean, you know, it's a pretty cool explanation. I just thought we should share it.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Asshole.

Oh, again, I said something fun that was fun.

So these guys are like it looks like kind of like going on a camping trip as one dude is like asleep or passed out and his friend lights his pants on fire and then he wakes up to his pants on fire and he shoves his friend over, freak them out. Yeah.

Keep it funny when in that light hearted silly I sent a good tech in.

Oh really. I mean. OK, can you look at the video I want you to see? Um, all right, hold on a second. I don't know what Dr. Drew and I covered it. What is it called? It's called the ICI. All right. Here we go. Look at it again. Well, you know more do you know what's happening? What is happening? He's cracking his day. What do you mean like I don't know.

That's Dr. Drew explaining. It's a little give me some explanation.

Like when you crack your knuckles. Yeah, that's cracking your dick. It's the equivalent of knuckle cracking on your day. What is happening? Like the ligament gets hardened and there's like pressure in there and the guy can do it when he's hard. This is what you this is you're like, let's switch it over to something cool.

This is what you're suggesting. It's called payback. I hate to see something horrible. Voltio What does a guy call his best friends?

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Do you know it was really cool. We watched the strange thing about the Johnsons. That was cool.

Have you guys seen that? It's pretty neat. Yeah. Go ahead and tell them. Awesome.

We watched it last night. We watched it on YouTube.

I hate it. There it is. The strange thing about the Johnsons. I don't want to give away too much. Audience hasn't seen it. If you have seen it, you know, it's great. It's a it's a really it's a short film that, uh, revolves around this family, um, that has an unusual relationship between the father and the son. And so it starts out like the adolescent level and then it fast forwards to when the son is now a young man and he has like a very, very interesting relationship with the dad that there's like so many twists and turns.

Have you seen it? No, no, what I mean, can we say one thing, I'm sure the stars with an eye and ends with an asset, the father and the son are having sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So fucking good, right. So Tom and I, you know, we schedule our marital relations because of our schedules and the children. And we're you know, we're waiting for our time to make sweet love.

And he goes, let's watch this movie before we do it in and two seconds in the opening scene. I'm like, no. Are you trying to get me to not want to have sex ever again?

And then we're finish this nice. And then he's like, let's go back to the Johnsons again. I'm like, oh, my God. And I watched it. And I felt like I felt like I wanted to die inside, like I want to die. And he's just ear to ear, just, like, so happy.

It was awesome. Yeah, it was awesome. I, I still feel sick, like it's not a good movie. I laughed so hard I thought I was really funny and really good.

No, but it was really good. It's really well-made and cool to see the dad in the sun. Fuck. OK, well we do fan mail.

I mean maybe that'll, will that bring us in to a nicer place. And I wish the fart Mike was hooked up. I really have some bangers growing.

OK, this is a neat follow up. Uh, holy shit Momis. I'm currently watching episode five seventy three and I nearly shit my jeans when I saw the prison talks. I work at the prison that those I farted pen pals are from. There was a big issue a few months ago over the inmates sending out tech tacs. There were also many, many more that got posted prior to these before their page got taken down. I'm in absolute shock that those turd nuggets made it to your mom's house.

Who are these?

These this is the person who works at the prison that the prison pen pals are writing from long time. I oh, Eugene's tremendous thanks. And I most respect for keeping me alive. Mm hmm. Anyways, I thought that was pretty funny to have someone write in from the actual prison that these talks are coming.

Yeah, that's pretty amazing that these guys get that out there.

Um, also, this is an interesting YMC question.

Oh, speaking of tick, I would like to address the whole success of dogface. Now, as you know, the dream song that Stevie Nicks song, is it really blown up because of dogface who he's riding a skateboard and he's drinking the cranberry juice. And it's a great song. It's a great talk. And people have been reaching out to me.

How can you not bring this up? How can you not? I fucking just brought it up. And everyone's like, Christina, you blew him up. You gave him I would say no, that his talent was always there, that I merely gave him a platform. The guy is just singing his own song, you know, and he's finally got the recognition he deserves. And I couldn't be happier for dogface.

The guy's a real, real tick tock. There you go, dogface.

He really is the sweetest. I got a bunch of ocean spray and they gave him a truck I so out of my truck. Good for him.

And he's so rad. Um, here's a really interesting question, Tom. Maybe you can have some insight here. OK, hey, jeans. I'm twenty year old male from Houston, Texas. I'm here to propose a very serious question. Does the brown of kids smell like the brown of their parents? Oh, I started in my paper the other day. Then later that day I walked in the bathroom after my mommy brown and smelled exactly the same.

And today I smell my dad Shites after he let one loose and then my sister's brown. Tonight, it's identical.

I don't think so. I think this person might be fully torqued now. Yeah. You know. Yeah, I knew you'd be so dismissive of such an import of such a stupid theory. It's not a stupid theory. Let me tell you why. The other day with dumdum says go ahead.

The other day, Ellis farted on the couch and it smelled identical to your fart. Come on. So I do think that, yes, some of the smells are identical.

I'll tell you this. A four year old shit just smells like shit.

OK, I wipe his ass. I'm like, poof, they're gnarly.

They're fucking gnarly like yours. They're just shit. It's just shit. Yeah, but they smell like yours. And I know this because I smell your shit all the time.

Let's do something exciting because this is very cool. So the king who likes to talk to his queens above eighteen. Yeah. Put a very special message out and I really want to study it for a moment.

Let's go out to a very special queen of mine above 18. Her name is Christina. I hear that you're like my videos and I thank you for following my page. I try to get sound and to help you guys see what you did in Saving Private Ryan. Seem loved him. And I let you know that I am very proud of you guys to king my queen.

You should turn down the tea. Christina, I love you. I love you, too. Queen Mary Jane. You have a good night and I will talk you in the morning.

Here's a problem with the Kings, right. Christine, thank you. The problem with queens above eighteen guy and the king is that he rambles.

It's too rambling.

He, by the way, of all the coolest guys we've ever played on here, to have a war film on in the background, like sometimes there's the news on our show.

But to have gunshots, people be like, oh, like that as your background video is.

Yeah, it's the new standard. That's really what I'm saying. You will get on this show.

But this year, because I want to see some bombs going off, I want to hear back from the I'll make it come by at least he turns Rachel Maddow down, goes out to a very special point of mine about 8:00 p.m. Christine M. Sixteen's.

And I hear that you're like my videos and I thank you for following my take. So, so loud.

Jesus Christ, man. So so when I fall asleep every night listening to you murder, the annoying thing is you're talked like for me, call my dad. And that's the conversation where I'm like, hey, man.

He's like, hey, did you hear like like can you like fifteen seconds.

You can turn that down. What's that. Are you going to turn down the volume on the television. Oh yeah.

Hold on a second. Like how does it not occur to you that there's a war going on and I can't like and then he'll be like I he's got to find the remote.

I'm like OK. And you wait like another minute and a half. I don't know where it is like. All right man. Yeah. Let's just talk. Yeah.

Dad, why are dads something happens to a dad's brain the older they get. I remember my dad used to sit and watch television with a TV on mute and then the stereo full volume.

That's real interesting. Dad, move. Look, are you doing. Yeah, but that's I think because you had a party, dad. He was also halfway into the Twelver.

Yeah. Mightly well so he had the TV on but muted. Yeah. Music he wants to hear. I kind of get that blaring.

I'm not talking like low key. I mean I would be upstairs as a high school.

You hear Hendrix. Just repeat it.

Hendrix bro down there they foxe like what is going on and I go down.

It's just like, you know, watching Jeopardy on mute and our A movie and listening to Hendrix, it was like the trippiest thing, you know, he's like, come sit down with me.

And I'm like, can you turn that down some later? I need to get high first.

Like to jam with you. Yeah. Yeah.

And I can only tolerate it for a few minutes and I'm like, I got your house fucked up. That's pretty intense. Got to get emancipated at thirteen hip hop right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dad partied man. He partied. He's definitely he would be like well let's remember the dance party at the dance party. Yeah.

With the young girls came over and it was just like we're going to go into the night man. That's right. That's wild.

Well were you there that Christmas Eve where he finished dinner and he had decided it was time to listen to Prodigy? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. And also that Marley remix, uh, records.

And we you know, I remember it was a Marley like remix and it sure was crank. I was like this nice song.

I like the song man Chrissy. Yeah. Like we'd all finished eating it to him.

Was that. Yeah. Like it's a good song in your house. Yeah.

Yeah. Christmas. Yeah. I mean what is going on. Prodigy smack my bitch up he put it. Yeah that was gnarly. He really party parties bro.

If you're soft, if you go like what are your best memories. I bet you've written some of them will be parties, all of them are parties.

He'll be like there's a good party. That was. Good point. Yeah, yeah, well, I told you his famous, like, seventy five beers in Miami in one day with his friend Willie, that was like his claim to fame.

Wasn't that Marley song I'm a Rainbow to. It was not like a remix.

Right. Because he played that that was so corny.

He would play that jam it out loud, man. Yeah. And he would be like in the living room. Yeah. Smack my bitch.

Big fat Christmas Eve did I got fucked up doing two bears live. Yo that was.

Yeah that was so I got, I got forty deep you know I get criticized. My favorite is when people are like that's it. I always start with two hundred like good for you.

Yeah. No I do it because I'm ten time loser. Twenty thirty that I had forty.

I was fucked up.

And did you have alcohol. Yeah. Oh yes. But I had like I had actually I'll tell you I was fucked up but it was a good good buzz like it was, it wasn't. It was just before. You're too deep you know. I mean like it was the most you want to be before you're like my nights ruined all I all the only thing that I tell you is like I didn't know what was happening at the end and I didn't know how things went.

So normally, you know, I could tell you exactly. I couldn't stand up and I got like that was a good podcast. That was good. I was like, I have no idea if that was good because I was too fucked up to I kept asking. I was like, how was that? And they're like, it was good. And I was like, Are you sure?

Of real fucked up, I do remember that even when we were even more fucked up, we all arm wrestled.

Now, did that make it to the show? No, it wasn't on the show. But but there was cameras. People were recording it and he beat everybody. Strong one. And he beat everybody. And he I didn't know that.

And then I also beat Bert.

You did twice. Two times arm wrestling. Arm wrestling.

Dude, how good did that feel? Felt great. Yeah. Yeah, it felt great. And then. And then and he also challenged me to tennis. I remember. That's crazy talk. That is not what happened.

No, no, no, no, no. Dov challenged you for me because it had been a long time ago. It was like if we did, I bet I would do well against him. And he was like, I would bet you so much money that you wouldn't. I'm like, nah, you don't want to do that, man. I talked to somebody and we have courts if you want to do it.

No, no, I'll do it. OK, I'll do what you tell me when and whenever you're ready. OK, I'm going to do this, all right.

I just know I'm going to have to talk shit against you like everybody is invited from the from our camp here to watch. We can all everybody can come to you. Fun sounds good to me.

Let's get it. I can't even see.

Wait, wait right for you. Because, like, this is the part that I was. What is your tennis experience. Yeah.

Oh is that so. I played in high school like after class sometimes. OK, just like, you know, just hitting the ball and then with my ex, me, her and her brother used to play like maybe for like a couple of months or something. And that's it was it was just like, you know, novice stuff. No lessons or anything. Right. And then have you played since. Now and then, OK, now what do you you just think you'll win?

That's that's what you're betting, right?

Yeah, I just I'm just I just win. You're going to challenge me to something. I'm going to win, and I don't know why. OK, I just will. There's no reason to. I just will now. He's got to trust me. I can't even see any running can you like to chase something? There's no sense of urgency, have a cheerleader chills, you know? Yeah, I just yeah.

Well usually if I'm running away from something, I'm not so good at this.

OK, well, hey, look, the men again, I can't see Nadav running either, to be fair.

Yeah. I can't beat Tom at a tennis or probably anything. No, no. I mean like I'm not saying all I, all I, I'm not the one that I like. I'll play people in tennis here. You told me you're like he said he could beat you.

So I was like, OK, we'll play that, we'll play and I'll and I will accept bets if you want to do bets. I don't I mean, I said last night, I don't think I could afford your bed. No, no, you set the bet standard. You set the bed. I'll think about it. You're about to get crushed, bro. You don't even know this guy.

I saw the footage. They know. They know. It's all good. Um, no, I'm going to bring my coach, this is I have a clip of him right here. You're going to let that motherfucker mush you down like that and you ain't breaking that bitch face right now. You mean to tell me you don't allow that motherfucker to do what she's done and you didn't come out here to try to break off fucking that? If you can't find her, find her teammate.

Break my fucking neck for what she's done you down now? You mean to tell me you ain't got that kind of evil streak in you? I would be I would I would literally take the ball and put that gun down. You crazy ever let anybody do you like that?

I love fucking so much this if you want to know why I love football, it's because of like coaches like that that is the best. That guy you end up if you play football you end up you want to die for that guy, you know.

I mean of course that's that's the truth. Yeah. That is like the coach, those are the coaches that I loved.

Yeah. They were like, why did you even do your assignment instead of trying to kill that person. Yeah. Trying to fuck you over like that. I love that so much.

This is women's like lingerie football, lingerie. Yeah. Yeah.

They have like these silly things were like, it's like I mean they do it for the TV viewer where they put like hot chicks in pads and a helmet and they play football. But the funny thing is you put people in like a contact situation and even though they're not great football players, you'll see some savagery done in it. Like you'll see it because it you know, it's just natural. If someone's going to hit you, you're going to hit back.

And this guy, this guy is coaching this like this is NFL.

I love it. I like it. I love it. That's my coach. You're going to let that motherfucker push you down like that.

And you ain't breaking that vicious face right now.

Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I agree. I'm all about telling the truth like that. Yeah. That's how I talk to our children to about shit like go fuck them on bro.

Are you doing. I'm serious. I motivate. I don't fuck around. You want to be a fucking pussy cry. Yeah.

That's what I'll do with our kids are playing sports. I'll be like, listen, fuck this game. Just go over there and break that kid's neck, ok?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, you can't raise a fucking scaredy cat. Kids that are afraid of the world. That's what this generation wants. A bunch of scared pussies. Why they're raising scared pussies, bro. Tonight we're on the see when my moms at every week.

No, we're we're on stage tonight. Yeah, I know the two bears one bullshot at the Pasadena Rose Bowl drive in show. I don't know if there's any tickets left, but if there are, we try to get them two bears, one bowl dotcom, very excited.

I'm so excited. I've always wanted to do the Rose Bowl. It's an honor to to be there with you guys.

I've I've always wanted to do like the parking lot of the Rose Bowl.

Know some people prefer the stage.

We like coughing to have the wrona. Probably. I don't know what's going to happen. I got a serious question.

What do you think about that coronavirus? The coronavirus, another coronavirus, the vibrator? Nah, the coronavirus is the disease that's going around you. Nobody know. Anybody know. Do you know about the coronavirus corona virus. Virus coronavirus. Yeah. You don't know what that is. Is that a disease that's going around that's killing everyone?

It's a disease, yeah, it's killing everyone. What does it do? Like if someone coughs or shakes your hand around you, it could kill you. They can't. Yeah, you have. You need to wash. Oh, God.

But you don't wash your hands. Yeah. What's it called. Crohn's disease. Coronavirus. Coronavirus. Yeah. It's a disease. Yeah. It's like I got to find. Dude, it looks like a face swap, it does, it does. It looks like a doctor all Awaji was a face wiped like my Saudi friends, that it's like, who's Dr. Hallowell Sharma?

No, that is a crazy video. That's a crazy that's not a face swap.

We're honestly not sure how this was just sent in. It's alarming. Yeah, no, there's there's something about it that just doesn't register normal.

Yeah, she's been in a coma or like she is. I mean, this is not like she has a completely like she looks like a separate person's face.

I can't believe this is not a face swap. And she is like a nice mustache and like. Yeah, oh you know, I know her face is like but it's like a middle aged Saudi man's face.

I know.

And it doesn't look like it's a transitioning person. Neither it legit is like Saudi guys face lady body.

Yeah. And she's also like the vibrator is what the disease.

Do you think maybe it's a language barrier? No, no. That's an intelligence barrier. Yeah. Popsy not good. Oh, boy.

Wow, that's pretty gnarly. Yeah. Oh God.

Oh this is kind of fun. You want to see this. Uh, so watch this. And and just the main thing is watch it. But I want you to actually listen to this voice and tell me what it does. It reminds you of anything, OK. Hmm.

Now come over on this end, OK? All right. Now I'm getting nervous. Get the whole bell.

Oh, my God, is that Leo, right? Is that him? That's him when he was alive. Isn't that crazy?

Now come over on this and. OK.

All right, now don't get nervous like oh oh at the whole bill and he's even sexual making around a little bit relief's this section. I bring it down, boil it down, slow the men's washing up. Your best bet is the ICC. These are all factors coming down. We've got. Oh, woops. They sound so similar to you and Bob, so I have various drops and you compare them.

That's great. You want to hear I loved you.

OK, I'm getting nervous. OK, you come. Wow.

Right. Oh. Oh. Hit the whole. They're twins right there. They're twins. It's I mean, it's literally right there. Yeah, it's the home. That's my whole.

Oh, my God, you are so similar. All right. Now that's where it's spits.

That's where it spits.

Yeah. Damn. I'll come over.

And I said, my God, I have no problem swallowing. Oh yeah.

The OK there I see. Released this section. Wow. OK, you come from. It's really good man.

Shake it around a little bit. Is this just like Midwestern old you know that old white guy. I don't know.

Is this. Oh hey. Oh I've got to get hard to become.

Would you tell your dad?

No, no, no, but I would watch any father and son do it just to see like just to see how crazy what any father and son, any any doing and any person, OK, for father and son, I would watch them do it. Yeah.

I just think it'll be great entertainment. Yeah. What parts. The most exciting for me just to be like. That's your dad. Yeah.

The problem with being into your dad is that they're so old and gross like you really into a guy who was like 30 years older than you.

I mean, some people are some people are. I guess they'd have to look really good for their age, though. Some people are homophobic and can't tolerate it like this guy.

You're getting a crowd of McCollom. Well, trought gay. I have yet to tell you something, you son of a bitch, if you like. One more comment on my video, but you don't subscribe to me, motherfucker. If you're a gay motherfucker, fuck you, motherfucker. Yeah. Bet I think he's drunk. No, I think so. No, no, that's a bad ice one under the pile, motherfucker.

Yeah, you must love it. Yeah, well, that's what they do. But you suck my dick. Oh, I'm sure they want to talk a little bit. Yeah, sure.

Every day. Men as super and owned by you, sir. Wow.

Particle's I gotta tell you. I'll bet your motherfucking fucking or you suck my dick up your motherfucker. This guy. That bitch is so he's great.

Wow. Yeah.

By the way, he's dying a psychotic dying this year. So she's like he's got the teeth out right in position to fit it in.

Yeah. Nice Gumede suck.

Do you think the brown staining on either side of his mouth is from eating spaghetti o's for dinner. Can or. I don't know.

What do you think's going on the discoloration around the mouth region.

It's, it was pretty alarming. I don't know, I don't want to know also.

Is that fair.

You guys are still go my dinner and then go see my dick.

What do you think it's like to not have those teeth, those pesky teeth getting in the way of talking and chewing? I don't know. But do you really need all your teeth to function?

You don't know. You don't eat them all. You don't you don't eat them all.

If you want to chew chicken, I mean steak, you're going to need a lot.

But if you're just you need some molars for steak, that's it. That's all you need. You need a couple.

I think if you're minimal amount of teeth, you need to up front to get some shit started, you know, and like sometimes you need to get some started. You got to start it.

And then if you have a few molars, you're set.

I think so, too. I think, like most people have like thirty teeth. And the truth is, you need like eight. You don't need them all. You don't need them all.

You really don't. Because if you've ever had a cavity or like something hurts you and you'll compensate by chewing on the other side. Yeah. Like you can get by, you can on chewing on one side of your mouth or not having as many tea. Did you think you need Drew.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well so uh, I wonder, I wonder if we regret are there any dentists listening. Like what can you feasibly get by on. Let me know. Shoot me an email.

Also if you get down to that few though, you should just get some FAQs put in. I think that's what they're going to tell you.

They're going to be like you can get by with four bucks, but you might as well just get dentures, you know, or you can get the perfect smile.

Works well, well, well. Makes you look really good.

But they recommend that you don't eat or talk with them and it's literally just a smile. And then they're like, take them out.

Unless you're smiling, they're not here and you know, they disappear tonight. Oh, wow. I wonder which is there's some sneaky fucking fingers of the staff. Took our perfect smile. And now you can see that you actually take our perfect smile home.

Yeah, you can literally only smile with the perfect damit and then that's all on look up here.

You know, I am a seeker. I find. I know. I know. Go, go, go. Find a Dov's department.

You think he stole it? Course. Why not?

What would I do? Oh, was walk around the perfect fucking smile all day.

But I'd like to know exactly how many teeth you can get by with. I think it's less than we imagine.

I'm excited to show.

I think these are important. I'd say the canine just one or two, though.

You don't need money. You don't need too many. Oh, I didn't realize you have a cool Halloween finger.

It's Halloween this week. So we have a horrible or hilarious that I haven't seen. Sure. Oh, is this funny to you? Fucking fuck.

Look how much you like that you're going to love in my sleep.

All right, here we go. It's a building that you guys are really excited to see it. Ready? Oh, here we go.

I don't like it. Holy shit, I mean, nothing's. Wow, that was something let me see it again. So he sprayed with a chemical, right? And then this guy puts his foot, but there why is he to hold the tire and then it, like, explodes?

Well, his co-workers seem to think it's hilarious. Everyone thought it was funny there. Yes, he's OK. It flew and set his ass up in the air. Almost did a full flip.

Yeah. Damn, that's really funny, Tom. I would love to do that to other people.

Mm hmm. Do you have another one term? I mean, you want to do to other people? I would love to to to see people I know in that position. So what I'm saying, yeah, that's cool, you know what I really like that you and Burt are talking about is the movie pitch for fat astronauts. For astronauts.

Yeah, that astronauts, I, I really like this pitch idea.

I think it'd be really funny. Yeah. But I know you guys have a different angle in. I think it's that America needs a victory and we want to be number one again. I like that pitch. And then the way we build morale in America is to send two of our most average Americans up. It's a good it's a good pitch. And they find like just the sloppiest pieces of shit they can find. And then it's you guys and you go to space.

I think it's really funny. I would watch that movie. OK. It's like spies like us, but yeah, with the space program. Yeah, to fat talks. Yeah, I like it.

I like. Yeah.

And all right.

Um, there's still a lot more and we will return momentarily with the guests. OK.

All right. We're going to go eat some ice. We'll be back in a little bit to talk about it.

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It's nice to get it right.

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That's your mom and talk space dotcom.

And we are back with a friend of ours, a comedian and actor. Maybe you saw his new movie guest house. Maybe you're going to learn about his other fifteen projects. And we're super happy to have Pauly Shore back here.

Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming in. Fantastic. We're here next to it. It's like we're next to a fucking dentist's office. Yes. Yes.

Well, we get our teeth cleaned on break usually. I mean, I've got my teeth cleaned like thirty five times during a show. Yeah. You guys are in a cul de sac now. That's before it was like, you know, right house. Yeah. This is good. Yeah. Have you had your teeth cleaned lately?

No, but I, I definitely I, I have a good dentist in Beverly Hills.

I put this on or whatever, you know. And I know you guys don't have them on my earbuds in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now did you have many dental or landing in about three minutes. We'll be landing in about three minutes.

And the 747 plane I used to have I used to.

Yeah it doesn't, I don't like the like you don't want here. I had the. No I hate my fucking voice. Everyone does. Yeah. Yeah. No I used to have an underbite. My mom got me a fucking one of those. I literally woke up like Dudley do. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No I really do. Right. He walked around like that. Yeah. I had underbite like that and then my mom got me one of those guards.

Yes. Classic guards.

So when I bite down then my teeth went over so I went over and I also had a fucking gap between my teeth and I used to have a fucking mole right here bro.

Did you cut it off? What do you mean? Why is the fucking Jew laughing in the back?

You have a fucking mole in your asshole.

Yeah, right. Lahai unless I am attentive to your good yentas to you by the way he is.

Give them some shit. Give him some shit dude. I looked at him, I'm like dude I fucking recognize you from the holy fucking city bro. Yeah. I was there last year.

I saw Mike what with this little greedy hands on the wall, you know, trying to go, you know, maybe dude it's crazy.

Israels why Jerusalem.

The Wailing the Wailing Wall. Is that bring to. Yeah. Have you done that. Do you pay.

I went with Dean Zucker or. No. Excuse me. That's my other channel. Dean Gelber. Yeah. I went there. Yeah. What did you feel like. More connected to your. Why did it after my mom passed, because my my my mom had never been to Israel. Oh, you know, and my dad had never been to Israel, both Jewish, Jewish. You just found out. Sorry to hear. Yeah, sorry to hear that.

But but, you know, um.

So my mom my mom and dad never been never been to Jerusalem. And I went over there and it was fucking amazing.

I've always heard really beautiful.

I want to go. I've heard a lot of people who have taken the trip and always have amazing things to say.

Actually, always Israel's fucking wild dude. Yeah, because you're literally in the middle right here and you've got all these kind of Arabic fucking countries around you.

Yeah, Sudan. You got Jordan, you got all these things and literally you got, like, really pissed off, bitter Saudi fucking like people that are leasing, leasing like their little, you know, corner stores and stuff. And they get pissed off because the Jews took their land. Yeah, that's what they say. And it's just like but I kind of think they did. If Jerusalem is right in the middle and you got all these Persian fucking places around it.

Right.

How did that happen? I mean. Right. I mean. I mean, am I right or I would love to hear this on, like Meet the Press Sunday morning.

So hilarious. You know, these Jews are here in these you know, early last year we went to the Dead Sea, me and my friend Dean.

After we went to the Dead Sea, we told the taxi driver, we want a falafel. And he's like, oh, I got the best falafel falafel place. I'm like, awesome. So we start driving. And also it looked weird. And I saw this fucking guy and he had like this Mickey Mouse add on in a gun. And then it got like tumbleweeds. And I'm like, where are we? Because we're in Palestine.

I'm like, Dude, I didn't want to go to fucking Palestine to get a fucking falafel. Yeah.

Just to be around her, you know, and I'm thinking I'm going to be beheaded on CNN and everyone's going to be happy. Yeah. Yeah. That'll get a lot of use. That would get a lot of you.

Sure is in. You know.

Did you end up having a falafel. No, I got fucking scared.

That's the saddest part of the whole story. It is. How long were you in Israel? Hmm? Probably like ten days. Yeah. But what's interesting also, you fly into Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, which is like Miami, L.A., New York, kind of hip, kind of cool. And then you drive 40 minutes and that takes you to Jerusalem.

It's only forty minutes. I didn't realize they were that closely for. Yeah. And the thing that is so wild about Jerusalem and the Holy See in the Old City, and as I didn't know this, I thought it was just Jews. I thought it's going to be just Jew heaven everywhere, just Jews, Jews, Jews. But it's not it's actually it's it's it's the old city is like it's kind of like the Disneyland for prayer. Yeah. So people from all over the world, you know, blacks, Asians, Catholics, everyone, because I didn't know this, that, that Jesus was crucified in Jerusalem.

I didn't know that I didn't fuck.

I know that is a suburb somewhere outside the city. I don't even know that. And it's like the towns like Sherman Oaks, as mass as Flinter, as Flinter.

What does he say, Flint?

Is that true or was that what's his name? My dad. Julie.

Schmoozy. Schmoozy? Yep. Is that true or are you talk. Can you hear. He can hear. Yeah. Yeah. That's a term. Isn't that true. Is that's true. Right. Yeah. Paulie, you nailed it man.

There he was. I'm I'm being serious. I just for the record, didn't know you guys didn't know the Jews did not kill Jesus.

The Romans did. The Romans did.

For the record, I didn't I don't know. But all I'm saying is I saw a long line, kind of like trying to get on the tea cup ride at Disneyland of people trying to fucking get a picture in front of where Jesus was crucified and still have the cross up.

And you can be like, no, it's just this fucking cement thing. And it was covered with glass and it was just this is where he got crucified.

And also they have a thing there to right. The Persian people, the.

Don't they have a way? Where did they go in a circle? What does that they have there in the circle? The Jerusalem that's ask for you to have a mosque over there. They have a big one. All right.

The big one, when they me that Mecca, but my mom, that's Saudi Arabia there is the same place.

But my my point is, is if you ever get a chance to go to Israel, if I want to go, I'm dying.

Your heart is open and you just feel like and I think there's this one point on on it where in the Old City, where it's the oldest area ever in the world, like built in the seventeen hundreds or seventeen B.C. or some shit like that.

So it was pretty cool. What kind of food offerings do they have.

It's this McDonald's. No, no, no, it's all Israel is all self-contained so that all the vegetables, all the hummus, all the chickens. No wait. Let's talk turkey here for a second. How about those Israeli chicks. Yeah. Down.

Yeah. Nice. Yes, yes.

Let's talk about they all went to the military. They're all strong. Yes. Yes, of course. Well, let's talk about this, Engeström. No, no. Oh, I did not. What about in the Dead Sea, where you're like, we saw the Dead Sea? It was pretty interesting. Yeah, yeah. It's so salty. So so I know you've flown.

You float now you get nude and get in the mud there. It's not that exciting. The Dead Sea, you're like, go there and you check out like, all right, it's going to go. What's weird, though, is Jordan is literally a mile away. And so you're in the Dead Sea and then you're like, fuck like that. There could be some terrorists that just come in and just take all these tourists in a boat and just behead them.

Yeah, like I'm thinking nonstop. I'm going to get beheaded on this trip. Really?

And then I went to Moscow after no scarier fucking tour. Is this. Yes. All the is a Russian Jew. They don't fuck around. My my grandparents are from Kiev.

The one place I would say that you can you could be sure that people don't fuck around is Moscow. Yeah. I don't even you know, Moscow, believe it or not, was the most, prettiest, pristine, cleanest city I'd ever seen in my life. And the thing that was so crazy about it and I didn't know this, is that Moscow is four times the size of New York City. Damn, that's how big Moscow is. And what about the population?

How? I don't think there is any. No, no, no. But the buildings are massive and and it was pretty cool. But you have to have a visa to go. You can't just say I want to go to fucking Moscow.

You tailed the whole time. You're in Moscow when you're an American. That's my thought. Yeah. You're afraid that someone's going to be like, oh, my God, is Pauly Shore no. Famous and American? And then just being held to ransom? Oh, they will. The Russian mafia, they don't know. How are we doing?

Holy shit. Look at your fucking your whole stance is so juicy.

It's got to change this. Right. He's got this little guy. He's the best. Are you also like, what else do you do besides this?

He just does this. This is the. You're hilarious. Yeah, he's awesome.

He's he's our main DJ. He's great. Yeah, he's great. Smelted Schmelzer, what's up?

Let's get some kreplach now. Do you celebrate the holidays. You're Rosh Hashanah.

Shana Tova are when I was in your eyes when I was a kid and my parents were alive and there was some, you know, unity happening in my family, you know, now it's. No, no, no, no, no. You know, my parents aren't here, right? You know, my I live in Vegas, the biggest city in the world, the biggest city.

Now, I heard that Vegas is kind of like what's covid like? They're kind of not as restrictive as we are here.

It's you know, it's. Yeah, you're right. One hundred percent. I mean, the gyms are open. All the restaurants and bars are open. The clubs are just starting to open. Uh, but it's it's weird because I want to start doing guest spots. There are so many comedy clubs. There you go. And they are open. They're just starting to become open. Nice.

So, yeah. So but the problem is, is it's twenty five feet distance from the stage.

So for instance, they take like a rule or some shit. And they take it all the way from the stage and then they go all the way there. So you're really performing in front of an empty room. It just boosts in the back.

And that's oh, that's tough. It's like a one a.m. spot.

So but I think, you know, I think once our president is gone, I think that all of a sudden they'll find the vaccine and everything will be open.

Yeah. Like, you know, all of a sudden I found Laris.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they'll suddenly be like, it's all cured. Yeah. Well maybe like maybe do you. So how is Vegas to you. Are you dating. Are you.

It's hard to date in Vegas and I realized that once I got there. I mean it's prostitutes, it's escorts, it's bottle service girls night and then there's Chubbie account and lesbian chicks.

Pretty much that's the full spectrum. Yeah. And what's funny is I say to myself, hey, wait a minute. I like kind of those kind of loose women, but, you know, like, oh, maybe I could go have sex with them. And now I'm like, you know what, I'm fifty two now. So I'm kind of just like to stay home, watch CNN, Fox and MSNBC and go to my sauna. You don't need me because I got I got one of those Barel Sana's.

It took me three months to get it.

How do you like it. It's dope. Are you in it every day. Yeah. Really. Yeah. I got a barrel sauna. I love thirty eight hundred dollars.

And I tell you as little as I've known you over the years, I sense a shift in you. Correct me if I'm wrong that you seem to have become a little more connected to like to, to your inner world and you seem to be working out a genuine happiness.

See masturbating as you're saying this underneath the fuck is so horny.

What the fuck have you ever accidentally ejaculate on his you ever.

He seems to relax.

Have you ever have you ever thought you were inside a woman but you are only in their butt cheeks and you ejaculated and you thought you in her vagina?

Oh yeah. I'm pretty, pretty, pretty accurate actually. You never thought you were in and you were in the bushes ever.

Maybe. Yeah. You have maybe like a three percent.

No, but that is a little tighter than the vagina. I mean but cheekily. Oh the cheat. Yeah. Just the cheeks maybe.

I think back to high school I think of big like she's like two twenty five. Oh let me stop. No, no, but I'm being serious in my office. You know, the covid thing for me has been good. Yeah, because it stopped me from the road. I was road road all the time.

Yeah, me too. I lost weight, you know, I just kind of like looking like, you know, I was in Maui for three months out there. I was hiking and and, you know, just stopped me from everything. You know, we're used to hopping on planes and touring and and and then, you know, you know, the mom thing and, you know, and in, you know, the dad thing and my sister and all that stuff.

So, you know, they don't you know, when when someone dies in your life, whether it's a parent or, you know, they don't want you to mourn. You know, my parents don't want me to be sad. You know, they just don't. I know they don't. So, you know, on that, as like, you know what I how can I how more can I beat myself up about them being dead? I mean, like, enough I got to like kind of move forward.

So I moved to Vegas and and I feel free, you know, I feel like my old self. I feel like how I was in my 20s, you know, just poorly. The one that America fell in love with, the guy from the movies. And and you know, all this the store is a heavy place for me, you know, just to talk about and to watch the documentary. And it's like it's not easy. Sure.

Yeah. I mean, it's it's a different thing for you. To me, it's my mom. Yeah. So it's not the Comedy Store. It's my mom. So I see the store and I go there and I just see my mom everywhere and it's like a reminder of my mom.

So, yeah, it's just it's like the house you grew up in. Yes. It's very sensitive for me.

Yeah. To be there. So but it kind of fitting for you in a way that like, you know, you associate with your mom, your mom was gone and then the store is shut down essentially.

Yeah. It's kind of an interesting. Yeah, yeah.

I was with Jeff Ross and Tony and Hinchcliffe and everyone two nights ago and we're watching the the documentary from the parking lot, you know, and it's just kind of sad. Yeah. You know, but at least everyone's going through it. It's true. It is. The whole world is is going through this.

But I think comedians in particular, we're all mourning the loss of the store right now.

I think we're all so it has been is it the center of the universe, at least four West Coast or Los Angeles based comedians for I mean, it's always been obviously this very but particularly the last I would say like five years, it has reignited into probably what it was, you know, in prior and then.

Yeah, yeah. Because like. Right. You know, it has been like such a hot spot. You're there on Tuesday night, Wednesday night.

All three of them were sold out having fun. We're all just having grown up on stage.

And even even when somebody passes away, when we lost Brodie, all of us coming together in the main room was really, really it.

I don't know. It was beautiful that we all could get here.

And I'm crying here. Can I tell you, every time I'm in the main room and I leave and there's a sweet picture of you, Pauly, as a child, and you're sitting in your in the booth and you're watching stand ups and like, I don't know even how old you are, do you? Don't you know the picture I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. How old are you in that photograph? I was probably ten. Yeah. Yeah.

And I was like, I can't imagine what that is like to be ten and watching all this stuff and growing up in this. Surreal, it's a nighttime environment. Yeah, I know it was very special, you know, but the 70s were, you know, the 70s were, you know, at the store was like, you know, it was. It was Poppen, you know what I mean, it was fucking Poppen, you know, and the accent, it's like.

You know, you look at the documentary and you look at the guys, you know, you look at the Eddie Murphy's in the Samms and the Dice's and and, you know, the Pryors and stuff. And then you look at the guys now and it's like, for me it's different, you know what I mean? And I assume that it's probably different for most people, you know, as far as. Uh. The style of comic, you know, you guys got like Steve, right?

I mean, this guy was fucking hilarious. You remember Steve, right?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, he was looking funny. Was he still funny? Yeah, I know, but just. Yeah, the style. The style. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know, you got all these guys and and I'm not saying that the guys now aren't as good or not as good because I don't know but it's just different. Yeah. It's totally different. But also it's like you, you go like Bruno Mars.

Oh daughter. I'm like Michael Jackson. Yeah. You know Madonna or you know or Lady Gaga. Madonna. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I mean, Justin Timberlake. George Michaels. Sure. Yeah.

I think that you know you grew up with so you grew up with two but it's also like it's the art form evolves, you know, like in stand up and stand up goes through this thing. I think like every five years where you kind of there's usually some type of shift that happens. Right.

Like storytelling became more popular. And then another shift. We're probably in the middle of a shift right now.

Right. Because like the climate shifts and then the comedy has to shift with it. So it'll always be changing and evolving. Yeah, but we all miss it like desperately. I'm saying like that we're probably going to get out of this godforsaken city. But the thing that I'll I'll definitely feel like I'll definitely miss is the just the ability to on any night of the week, you know, in regular time to be able to go down there. I'll miss that.

Just hanging out in the park, just seeing it.

You know, guys, it's the store not going anywhere. And we're just going to you know, I'm in Vegas. You guys will travel shows where he's everyone's kind of going, but we'll be back.

Yeah. You know, it's like it's not going anywhere. OK, just tell me that I need that show. It's not going anywhere. And the store's got to stay there, OK?

And in in you know, it should be a Hollywood landmark. It should. And I think it is I'm not exactly sure, but I think we're trying to make it you should. Hollywood landmark so it can never go anywhere. Yeah. And I just think that it's a place we all love.

You know, it's every level of comic, whether you're big or medium. You know, it's you know, I call it the Emerald City. For comedians, it is because that's where we all go. And Mike Binder has done a magnificent job, you know, with the doc. And there's no one else that could have really directed. Yeah. Besides him, because he's got the credibility and the respect from all the comics that he reached out to.

Yeah. So like if he reached out to Leno, if he reached out to Letterman and Whoopi and all these people they grew up with. Mike. Yeah. You know, Mike babysat me. He was there from the 70s. He was the youngest, youngest comic besides myself that started at the store. I remember when Mike Binder started. Yeah, he started he was like the young comic. He was on The Tonight Show.

And for people that don't know, a lot of people will recognize him from Minority Report, actually.

Is that right? Yeah, he's he's Leo Getz. He's the he's the guy. Like, if you're trying to put a face to him, I'm saying now he's he's the guy that that cruise, you know, confronts right there.

That's him.

That's my area. Yeah. So he's you know, he's you know, everything happens for a reason in life, you know, like all the sounds corny, but, you know, he was gone from the store for many years. Yeah. You know, and he went and directed and wrote and did his thing and he's done very well. And then and then I got I got him and my mom back together. I'm the one that brought that back together because my mom and it had some sort of a falling out.

I'm going to have him on my podcast this tomorrow and I'm going to talk more about that. But they had some sort of a falling out, as I think my mom wanted to produce one of his specials. And in and I think Mike wanted someone else to produce. And it got weird. And Mike acknowledges now that he he fucked up. Yeah. And he should have my mom more involved with the stuff. But when Mike had the the show mind of a married man.

Yes. Which was on HBO, she created Wright. He created it. He starred in it. He did the whole thing. It was on HBO. And this is when my mom started to slowly get sick. It was it was probably about fifteen, twenty years, something like that. I don't know exactly.

Yanta what year was kind of the married man?

Well, tell us. It's a TV show.

Yeah, it's on HBO. I have to. Yeah, I have to. I have to go to the bathroom.

You have to pee. No. Oh, at the pool we had Zankou chicken for lunch. Oh.

So let's take a one. I want to stop out. You were talking but it's really bad. Yeah. And then we're going to go OK and then we're going to go OK. Tom's got diarrhea everybody. We're going to stop down for diarrhea. We're back. I just had you look a lot lighter.

Let's talk about it. Well, thank prompted. Here's the thing. I'm sitting here like you and there's the adjustment where I'm like, oh yeah, that's going to be a problem. And then. Pollies, just like, you know, when I lost my mother, I'm like, oh, you've got to hold that better hold your cheeks together for a minute. That's I'm not going to be like, yeah, you can't sit in. Yeah, yeah.

And then and then we were like talking and talking.

I was like, this is not getting better. So I just tried to get to a window where I could excuse myself.

And that was, that was like a top five. Explosion in my life, was it painful or just liquidy? No, it wasn't painful at all. So when are you telling me that I need to go? What are you feeling? It's not a cramping.

No, it was. It was this is like a real comfortable relationship.

Yeah. Like, I've never seen a relationship. Like, you guys are literally talking about shitting. Yeah. And it's like looking at each other like you're talking about. Oh, look at that tree.

You're welcome to. So that's hilarious. Well, I've squirted out two of his children, so I don't feel like there's much there's no mysteries.

Laughs Yeah, you know what I mean. And what about I mean, sex is it's still. Hey. We just left last night. Bravo. Yeah, big load. So what about what about the Viagra Cialis thing? Never tried it, really, doesn't it?

Let me tell you something. His erections are firm and solid, and they last a long time. He does not have a problem getting erect.

I have friends who say they have no problem and they're still like, you should try it. Meaning you should try.

Yeah, it's like a house. It's like a fun thing. Like a vitamin for your D.

Yeah. I don't know though. I don't have any vitamin problems there. If you take just a like cost 20 bucks, you know, like a Viagra pill, you just take a sliver of it.

You don't eat the whole thing. Oh really? Yeah.

Like a fourth. And then you're just hard all night. It's just it's cool.

It's like a little extra helper. Yeah.

You know, I mean, you don't need it but you do you ever have a little sliver and then put like a cock ring on so that you're like about to explode or.

No, no, no, no. Can I give you one. What.

Can I give you one. Yes you can. OK, I'll get one. Are you fucking any hos in Vegas right now? I thought we were talking about Mike Binder. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh yeah. So they got so yeah.

So so I got my mom and Mike Binder back together through the mind of the married man because it was on HBO and we were watching it and and I said, I said, you know, they need to get back together. So I called Mike up and I'm like, yeah, you got to come and watch the show with my mom. And they seen each other in years, so then I brought them back together and that was really cool. And then, you know, that was like the first intro.

And then and then when she passed, I invited him to the funeral, to mom's funeral.

And then that's when I think, you know, he got locked in as the director for the doc and, you know, got more, you know, to do that. And then I just liked his approach with it. So I thought he did a good job. And if somebody wants to see it right, it's on Showtime right now.

You could probably watch it on demand. Yeah, it's all over.

Showtime. Think people have seen it and they're talking about it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's you're doing other stuff right now, too. Yeah. We're doing a whole bunch of stuff. We're doing so many things.

Oh, here it is. You know, the Comedy Store. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Sandra Bernhard. I did her podcast. That was cool because she was a girl that was there at the store. For many years, a girl that was there at the store. Yes, I know, I like her because I, I yes, I grew up watching her.

She's fantastic. She's like, I always want to be a serious actress. And, um, yeah, I like Roseanne. I loved Roseanne, obviously, growing up. Yeah.

And there's a girl that you guys might not a female comic that you guys might not know if that was actually like one of the funniest female comics at the store. Her name is Lois Bromfield. I'll look it up.

Lois Bromfield was my babysitter who she was married to. She was a lesbian. Bromfield She was a lesbian total. Can you say D? I'm not going to say.

Can you take. Yeah. Yeah, sure, sure.

So she is a full lesbian and she was married to a gay comedian, a guy named Steve Moore. And the reason why and he was like totally gay, gay, you know, and the reason why they got married is because.

Oh, yes, yes. She was great. She's in the documentary too.

But the reason they got married was because she was from Canada. Oh.

And she needed a green card, but they were my legal guardians when I was my fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth grade. Oh, my. Because I went to Beverly Hills High School, but we didn't live in Beverly Hills. So my mom got a house in Beverly Hills just so me and my brother Peter can go to Beverly Hills School. Otherwise we all went to Fairfax or Hollywood High. At the time it was gangs and you know, if it was rough like that.

So Lois was my my legal guardian and she used to take me to school and she's always fight.

Did you actually because I remember you were on MTV so young. So did you graduate high school then. Right.

To MTV, whatever that was like about four years later? Oh, it was. So you were like 21 or 22 when you were twenty two. Twenty three.

Did you go to college after high school. No, no.

MTV was like my college. So those years that everyone else was in college. Yeah. Those you know, years from like what. You know twenty twenty, twenty to twenty five. Yeah. I was on, on, on MTV.

Wow. And what a cool. I mean look at this. I mean this is basically the result of you watching the greatest comic since you're a little kid and then you become this huge comic tale. And you were it's like you just you tapped into this moment in time that was so perfect.

Well, that's what you guys did, too. So it's like that's the thing.

It's like people like my mom, like, oh, your mom, you know, she and she did she was the right person at the right time with the right club and the right era.

So you guys as well, like if you guys would have came up twenty years ago trying to do this thing. Yeah. What you're doing, it might not have might not. And also, Joe. And everyone's successful doing what you're doing now. So I came in at a time where MTV needed me. Yeah.

You know, perfect timing. Yeah. So, like, that's how it is, you know. And I also remember.

Yeah, life is like that. I just remember also that watching, you know, people now will never like a young person now, can't wrap their head around what MTV meant to us, like when we were watching you, you know, that was the equivalent of like there's almost no equivalent, you know. I mean, it's like now like it's it was the spot, the one place and I don't think there is it's like Lady Gaga level.

Yeah. There's not like that one thing now, but like if you're a young, you know, and you're like, what are you watching?

Like what's cool. It was MTV. MTV's MTV was the shit.

It's just it Mark. That's just it. And it was.

But so far is the Jews laughing. The other room said, hey, you want some schmeer? What's going on here? You got to be honest.

What's he doing? He wants some Jewish. Yeah, no, it was it was, it was, you know, I mean, all the way from TRL to, you know, Headbanger's Ball to you know, to yo MTV Raps. It's Spring break. Spring break was you know, it was oh my God.

That's where that was. You know, you'd be like, I want to go to fucking spring break. How many times did you get your DSTO spring break? I didn't get any girls.

I was just working the whole time. Oh, really? No, no, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, no, no. I have a lot of stories. It's spring break. Yeah, but it was it was it was interesting. And one of my my great stories at spring break was when Rodney Dangerfield was down there and he was promoting like one of his films. And any time an actor would promote one of their films, they would like make them go on your show. So I got to film with him. It was pretty dope. When we were rehearsing, we went up to his room and he opens the door.

It's not not that original Rodney Dangerfield story, but he had it here is like, you know, his robe on and his dick was hanging out and he was smoking weed. He wanted me. Yeah. And that's how it was back then. You know the man. Yeah, and you had Lenny Kravitz there with his loincloth, you know, and you had like, you know, I don't know, Corey Feldman was down there.

That was like a big deal. This is when he was going through his like his is Michael Jackson was crazy.

So he was a crazy policies on his white makeup and his glove. And then me and Christian Slater was sharing a room.

Uh, yeah. We shared a hotel room. Loved. Wow. Yeah. The best gleaming the cube you think about pump up the volume of the volume. Shit, he's getting jealous.

Still a you know, so.

So how much sojo between you and Christian Slater, like you got a double team. So, you know, deep down they got all the babes. Really? Yeah. One person got nothing.

No, that's a lot more even that Michael Jackson get up.

No, that was we when we that was my first spring break. It was 1989. And it was we were down there and Sandler was there with remote control. Oh, my God. I am. Yeah I can over and all that shit. And and you know, you had Donald Trump over with the Hawaiian Tropic Girls. Yeah. With Fabio and fucking Jon Lovitz. And there's Trump and Trump is they're having a vagina.

The guy the guy that used to run run the guy that used to run spring break was a guy named Ron Rice. Ron Rice ran Hawaiian Tropic. Remember the Hawaiian Tropic? Yeah. Yeah. We say he's a contest with these Hawaiian tropicals is fucking awesome, dude. I bet. And then you had, like, you know, after he would have, like, you know, Hawaiian Tropic parties. And then that's where, like, Lorenzo Lamas was there and.

Yeah, you know, that whole, like, Cheese Fest USA. Yeah, but it was.

Oh, so you're saying there is a lot of contest for chicks because you've got Lorenzo Lamas, you've got Christian Slater, Corey Feldman and Pauly Shore.

So there's a lot there's a lot of dudes, a lot of hi guys.

Yeah, but there's more girls than guys, you know. So you still found a way. Yeah. No, it was. It was, it was. But it was you know, you felt, you know, as a as a as a as a VJ, you know, very video jockey.

You felt really cool if you had a microphone like this and it said and had an empty vessel and immediately you were like the cool guy.

I thought you were so cool when I was watching you.

And I was like, yeah, one day I'm going to have a boyfriend who wears those socks. Right. And the high tops and a bandana I like you were just wild man.

You were so fucking cool.

We were having fun. So and you know what I liked about it, too, is like you weren't too cool for school, do you not? I mean, like you are still you're silly and I love silly to. That's so refreshing when someone's like they allow themselves to be so silly.

So what's this guy doing? This guy is basically stealing my moves to change. What the fuck is he doing? I think it's a ladies discuss this leave lady did not go to lady.

It's a lady. It's all these you she's she's a dame now. She's in her future. She's worried. I wish I had a bad day like that.

Yeah. So powerful. That's fucking strong. That's a really strong asshole. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I could use one right now.

You guys talk about each other shit some more. Yeah. Yeah please. Just like my you know. Do you smell each other's shit. You know. I know it's just take a shit in there. You might want to go and smell that.

I've already, I got it all but we didn't get back.

So how do you know you have to dump. You don't feel pain. It wasn't pain. I just. How do you know that it's going to be.

You just feel like internally you're like this is a loose one.

Is it gurgling is. Oh it's like. It's like you just like you feel like I could feel that it was it was a water show. Thank you.

But you're still not being specific. Was it watery. It's cramping. It's you. It's the little fingers in your butthole going like this going to be real bad.

They just tell you I don't but I don't have that warning. I mean, it's not a pain. You don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, is this a fart? And you're like, no, no. But you just know, how do you explain it? You just I don't know. It's like there's a signal in the brain.

It's like there's there's really not a better feeling than letting it out. That one. It's the best.

A horror show that was fucking sore, too. I mean, that was just so bad.

What did it feel? But, you know, it was really oh, I was like, oh God. Yeah. Yeah, it was very relieving. Yeah.

Have you ever gotten a colonic before? Never. Have you gotten a call? No, I'm afraid I put the spot out here. No, that's great. I'll do it.

It's legit. Great. It's really good. They fill you up, right?

Yeah. It's basically you go in there and tell tell me I talk with you guys want to do it together.

He's fucking jerking off. I'm talking about getting shit out of your ass. How many. Tell me. Tell me.

It's like oh god that shit. Pull it out, motherfucker.

Oh I know.

So so you go in there, you take off all your clothes, you get in a robe and then you lie in the on the table and you lean your cheek to the lady that's doing it and she gets some she's got this like kind of like this tube thing, not the tube tube part but the. Plastic part, and she put some KWI around it and then and then puts kwi in your asshole and then you're the one like you're the one Tom, you're the one you're in control.

That takes it and then puts it in your ass like this and you get it. So it's not like scrap. So it's not scratchy.

Yes, that's right. They're like how thick is the tube. It's like, you know, it's like a little. Is it like a finger?

Is that like having a finger on tubes, you know, a little thicker.

But then the thing that put your in your butt is how far up do you put it up there? Well, let me let me finish. So you put I got a burp once. I think I have to shit one.

All right, I got to say, oh, my God, what are you doing? Oh, that was like watching it.

That was so weird. That was like a thousand special needs kids. Yeah. Like, I got to walk in a circle to make it show.

All right, buddy, why did you have to walk in a circle to get up? Shit, I can't get up. And I mean, it was a little OK. All right, fine. What? I'm not I'm not against it.

It was just it was special. So it was so. Well, because I'm sitting on this couch talking about shit, OK. OK, the point.

Let's go back to what. I guess so. Yeah. So so.

So you put the camera in there and then you're the one that sticks it and you put it in and you go like this the way you put it in as you go.

And then as you go wash you stick it in your ass, OK. Right. And then she takes the plastic tube and she connects it. And then you. And then you.

And then you go from a fetal position to this position and you just relax and you're on your phone, OK? And then you're emailing and texting and stuff. And then and then she she I like coffee colonics.

So there's like a bag of water or whatever and they pour coffee in it because that's it cleans you out more you know. Yeah. Make sure your ass through your shit kind of like loosen up more. And then what happens is what happens is she she turns it on, she turns it on the coffee or the water.

Oh no. Because the, the coffee is inside the water because it's water and then she pours, you know what I mean.

Is it a latte.

Is there cream and sugar in the cake.

Probably get cream and sugar if you ask for it, but it's usually just coffee. So look, he's getting mad. He's about to come. He's like, go on, go on. How much of it fills you up?

So, yeah. So so she turns it on and in until you say stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

And then she stops because obviously it starts to get uncomfortable because your stomach fills up and then she stops the water, coffee, and then all of a sudden, you know, it kind of and then, you know, all the fluid that she put in you.

And then it starts to come out and then slowly you can see your shit come out and then you get excited. You're like, oh, my God, it's so been in there for so long.

How much is it? So much stuff.

That's because, you know, you think of it. I don't want to tell dude.

I'm telling you, it looks so everyone goes to this.

I'm going to namedrop some celebrities want to I don't I take enough shit that I don't think there's anything, you know, there's stuff left.

That's the whole thing is you think you got stuff, you got stuff that's left over from like your child, a boot, a shoe, a bicycle.

Are you bought through this family? Do you get what do you get hard. Are you like hard shit harder your penis, hard penis. No, no way. But I mean, you do it so it lasts about forty five minutes.

On and off. On and off. On and off. And you leave and you feel great.

Hold on though. The brown so the water goes up in you and then the shit comes out of you through the same tubing. Now.

Yeah. You take out the tube goes into a different into. But then how come the Kakha goes through a little narrow. The narrow part that you've inserted. Like how does the brown you understand her question.

Yes. Comes out. Brown's like this big. And then how does it go. Small.

Feel like I'm a fucking special needs class right now because what you insert in your butthole is tiny like this.

Yes. And so you're telling me that the shit that's like this big get sucked into that tiny tube and into the tube?

That's what I'm telling you. Yeah, it does. It just goes through it. I don't I don't know.

OK, but it's going to do it. I'll give you the phone. You do it. You should do it. It's really good. I think you and Burt to do it and then compare who's got more brown.

OK, what's a good contest?

I'm glad I can assist you because you know, Antico only takes a shit once a month.

Who, if any, the other guy at the guy Andre in there, he only shoots once a month. What if we give you a colonic that way? You can't hear him.

No, you don't have headphones on. Yeah, once a month, yeah, once a month, I mean, the once a month was a challenge specifically for myself, but generally it's like twice a month. That's not good, bro. Hey, man, him there. I mean, I heard doctors tell me it's all right. Can we take you to it? Uh, what does that mean?

So I do the thing that what you got to be here, but you fill your guts with water and then you brown it and brown it down.

I'm good. You wouldn't even do it for pay.

How much we can pay. Oh, that's not bad. What's his name? Any, any, any, yeah, any it's not bad.

You actually feel a lot better afterwards. You know, it's a little uncomfortable obviously during the process of it. But afterwards, you feel a lot lighter and cleaner and more alert. Actually, I believe that many times you've done it a bunch.

A lot. Yeah, four years over four years. It doesn't hurt. No. And it's uncomfortable when the water goes in your stomach.

But then you just go, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

And then they stop and then they they sometimes get like a little like not a vibrator, but like I get massage to massage shoulder rub on your stomach to break it up even more and come on you down.

It would be an unreasonable amount, I couldn't really be really unreasonable to say. He said he would only do it for an unreasonable amount now. It's not that big of a deal. Just do it. I'll pay you whatever.

I'm just different. I'm just different. OK. It'd be unreasonable. OK, wait. What? Be realistic. What is your price to go to the colonics.

You know that to go Funmi is being created right now. The fans are already dead. Why don't we get yanked off to do it first, huh? Come on, you don't have I have gentrifies, no problem. Yeah, of course I know. Because he knows what's in all of his asshole.

What is your number like? Like twenty thousand. Oh, God. Oh, stop. Well, hopefully his column will be OK.

Have you gotten the colonoscopy thing? No. How old are you. Forty one. Yeah. You should do it. Yeah, I did it. How was it. Um. It's you know, it's fine, I mean, invasive, I mean, kinda a little bit, but I mean, you have to check for your asshole.

You don't have cancer. Yeah. Yeah. Were you out? You're out, right? Yeah.

Oh, so you call video when you're done, they give you a popsicle. They do. No, no, no. It's just one of those things. We're not here forever, you know. And no, even when my friend, my friend died of brain cancer a while, like two years ago, you know, you know, you probably have friends, like, all sudden I just got cancer. You're like, what the fuck? Yes.

It's so random cancer. Just like it's so fucked up. You just don't know. Alarming. I know. It's a fucking nightmare. Right.

And so I got my brain scanned after my friend had brain cancer.

I'm like, fuck, what the fuck? You don't know.

You ever get little headaches like like, oh, shit. You're like, oh shit. That's a tumor. Yeah. Immediately, like, that's a tumor. So I wanted to get my brain checked because if I'm if it's a wrap I want to know it's a wrap. I don't want to sit and pass out and then oh you have a tumor, you cut it out of your head.

Yeah. Like I want to know everything. And now everything was fine though. Yeah. Everything was fine.

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Now are you by the way you seem like a pretty chill dude. Yeah. Do you, have you been in confrontations with people. I mean, family members, family, yeah, but not strangers, when I was a kid, you would get in like little when I was a kid, when I was in high school. Yeah. When I was in high school, I was a kind of a bully.

You were? Yeah. That's hard to picture. Yeah. Yeah, I used to fight. Really. Throw your cans on. I'll show you one right here. Show. Right. Yeah. Well this is a confrontation.

OK, we got video of a confrontation in Australia that went back up to. And more luck with your fucking Lupa this year than your fucking pocket, and you put your fucking bag on me car, that's what's with it. You rooftop gets the respect. Reaching for something I might not touch my fucking car. Stop talking your fucking boy, all right. Dude, you're fuck with my flock. We've you don't touch the fucking car. You back to your car.

You got to fuck down my pants. No fucking hate the fuck is wrong with these guys you fuck with. Do you want to fucking do something? Get a little ice cream. Little baby ice cream.

That's hilarious. He's yelling and screaming. Oh ice cream. That's adorable. And their accents are so friendly.

What was that. What was fucking that you fight with. Who can't. I dropped all this. Oh no. Hold my coat over there. Why they want to fight the guy. Because it's like they're really. Do you fucking get it?

And the guy has one arm, the guy in the motorcycle has one arm. Yeah, he's an amputee. Oh, my God, I can't hold this back. Would you fucking sight touch him? I didn't say nothing. Yeah, I fucking I might now fuck off. I touched your fucking car again. Got it. You little fuck. We can't touch it. And heard it could not touch the fucking car again. You get fucking destroyed your fucking finger on a dirt track doing something.

What are you doing? Oh, I was terrified. Look, you clean the air.

Can't do something, you little fuck. Can't you see what happens when waiting for me? May I go get your ass kicked by me or you kick my ass to drop those and ask you to hold the ice cream? He's not holding it right. It's going to make me can't. Oh my God.

Jesus Christ. Oh, that's my friend Jim to fill me in. Yeah, but their accents are so cute and funny.

It still sounds like sweet high school.

They say cunt like like. Like it's nothing and it's just say my cousin gnarly worth it. Especially here. Yeah. Yeah. I like that kind of fight in my Tick-Tock batch if you want to see that one. Yeah. OK. These guys actually fight or. No.

Uh no I just. OK, is it the last one in the talk matches. We look at this one. It's apropos this discussion.

Oh yeah. No my sperm. This guy good. It contains healthy ingredients and some people eat animal sperm to good females eat their menstrual blood. Good luck. I don't even remember.

Well, this is a Norway they had. They're so progressive and they have so much going on.

Um, you want to see your top say, yeah, I want to see the one that I sent to the very last one. Yeah, I tried calling. All right. Fighting one.

OK, here we go. As you look at you, you look like a rookie wide, I think, because I am white. Don't feel not going to fight her. Making the first move to restart subcu Dorival yeah, that sound like a boy?

Oh, I'm not making the first movie retard, but this is what our world has become, all these fucking handcar. I did that show. What was that?

The ridiculousness. Yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah. It's like crazy people like to capture other people doing crazy shit, right? Yeah. Yeah. So much fun. That's what it's like. America to start off with America's Funniest Videos. Right. But these are America's funniest, you know, some shit.

I bet you've dated some girls who are like, are we ever going to get married? Right. You've definitely dated girls like that.

Um, some girls have pressured you in like they're like, when are we going to tie the knot?

For sure. You're Pauly Shore. How are you even pausing on this?

I know. Come on. Never in your life in the last 30 years, no chick has been like, are we going to get married?

Yes, I did get engaged once, but I was like twenty six.

Check out with this girl that this girl wants her man to commit. He works at Target, OK, he works there. This is what she does.

Oh that's hilarious. This like years ago. You know, now that we're getting married right now, that's hilarious. Like, you know, she brought a pastor like an efficient and and best woman in Bridesmaids. I'm just finally making it, you know, she's hot right now. We're like, it's over.

He's like, I'm going to fucking shift right now. Yeah. Work.

Yeah, that sounds like, oh, my God, what a crazy place. And that just shows you right there.

By the way, if you're at home watching this and you're like, what about me? This guy works at Target and I'm not putting them down, but if he can find a chick that's demanding to marry him. Yeah. On the job, so can you.

Yeah, but you probably did that with knock it down. He was on stage, right? Of course. I gave him the ultimatum and I was like, are we going to do this or whatever. You like your babe. I'm trying to finish my fucking act.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in the middle of a separate. Yeah. And then she locked him in. Yeah. How did you guys. Yeah.

How did you guys get like I know you dated for a while but how did you get. Because I remember he did my podcast, right? Yeah, you were talking about my mattress on the floor. That's why Tommy had when I met him. Yeah, he was. We met when he was 23 and I was twenty six. And when we started dating, he had a mattress on the floor and he didn't even have soap in his shower. He just used shampoo on his crotch and his hair.

That's how much of a bachelor kid he was. Yeah.

And that was like I go to the shampoo does make soap. Yeah.

And then where did you guys where did you guys first connect where it was. I mean, you're from the valley.

So when we met we met doing open mics at the well actually was a bringers show at the Kat Club on Sunset or the Cat Club. I don't remember the Kat Club. Yeah.

So the guy the player from stray cats that I used to go to, uh, shows there, Kathy Kaneki would book the show and she was just we were in the same circle of people that were doing those shows. Yeah. So you guys were open micas. Yes.

Same time, you know, we were babies when we met each other and then we just grew up together in the same comedy circles that you guys have.

But that open micas, that's a long time ago. That's 20 years ago. Yes. When, you know, been together 20 years.

Well, we started dating in 05, so started dating in 05. Yeah. This is like a fucking newlywed game. And you guys got cards and shit like, oh yes, I would love to do that. All right.

I know you think we would do well. I think I would do well. You guys would be hilarious. I know him like I know like my kids, you know, like I know everything. I know what what fart, what movement. Like right now he's uncomfortable. He's like, I don't want to talk about this. I know what all this means. I don't think he knows me as well as I know him.

I observe. I don't know him. I observe not as much as I observe you. I'm very familiar with all of your stuff. I would love to do a Newlywed Game with Tom. I would agree. If they bring it back, let me know. Yeah. NASCAR newlywed question. Let's see if she gets it right.

Just ask her one. Would you have to write down the answer? No, no. I'm saying what do you think your partner would say.

Yeah. Yeah. So when having OK, this will be good when making webpages and that's how they started making. Yeah right. Look at Yantis when making whoopee. Yes.

What position do you guys do in the morning. Um morning waps. Yeah. Let me see.

OK, so I mean I know. Yeah. Well let's see what he says to write it down.

You got it. Said what I think he's going to say. Yes. What I think he's going to say is. But don't say it because he's got to say it. OK, go ahead and say, well, let me see what you fucking wrote, dude. OK, so this is morning sex.

OK, ask her how interesting. Ask her a couple more. So.

No, no, fuck her. We're going to figure this out right here when having sex in the morning.

What position do you guys what position do you guys have. Ba ba when when you're making.

I think it's side me show in the morning. Look here, that's how the show goes and then the person does that.

Well just do the show and stop saying that's how the show go. No, I'm saying that's what happens on the show, not in the morning.

OK, missionary, you always want me on top in the morning.

So you're on top of scene now. OK, ask me another. OK, another one again.

Here we go. Yeah. OK, another one. OK, go ahead.

When a check comes. Yeah. You know at dinner maybe pre covid pre covered and the check comes because I know financially you guys both have your own thing. Who picks up the check now. Come on, doc, an easy one. Yeah, like who touched it? Yeah, it's definitely me. Yeah.

OK, ok. OK, last one. Go ahead.

Huh. Um, who likes oral sex more, you or Tom, when it comes to giving it and getting it ok.

Like those are two different. Quite like OK.

Who likes to receive it more. Who is the first receiver. Who likes to receive it.

And then who likes to give it more? Yeah, you do the first one. So who likes to receive it more power?

So you like getting had more than she likes getting her vagina in out. I must see.

I think I think I think I'm the answer to both questions. Yeah. Copy. OK, you got that. So you're the one. I'm both right. Wow. I like that.

So did you give her oral sex though ever.

As long as you know, she she lets me she's usually like, did you pay the bills?

And then I'm like, all right. I checked the bank statements first. I'm like, you can go down on me.

Yeah. Yeah, we're excited. She's like, lap it up. Laughs Good.

This could be a good thing. We should do this segment. Let's do The Newlywed Game with Polic. We throw those cards on real quick.

You want to do it segment. Yeah. Is this like let's do a show Larry.

Let's show them some of your talks. Oh yeah.

But are you want to talk. You should really go them if you're going to love it.

Yeah. Well you like depraved videos and the mentally ill you're going to like.

OK, all right. Put your forehead right here. I'm not I separate. OK. Oh, OK, so this is how you like your hair, like the hair on her chin and she looks like she's from the Ding-Dong Show.

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. So this is why there's more. There's more there's a lot more coming by now. But we may explain this, lane. This is a whole new lane of talk. This is the horny older person who thinks they're being funny. Mm hmm.

That's a it's a funny slash who has a cool, cool beard.

Oh, OK. Oh, God, dude, what the fuck, bro? Did you hear.

I don't need to see that. Did you hear. You didn't hear it. He was sorry to hear it. Listen, listen. He was cracking the bone and in his dick, I don't need to see this, how do you not like to see that? That's. Who doesn't like to see that? I don't like this.

Are you even a comedian? I mean, this is so much fun. I don't like to look at guys.

You're a sick son of a bitch. Look, I watched this guy was poorly in high school.

I finger up his shitty ass.

I love this guy. That's hilarious. It looks like Rick Ingram.

Oh, yeah. This is for Tom. I just like the confrontation once more. Yes, I did see that one again. That was good.

You're a sick son of a bitch. That's Ingram. Watch this guy put his greasy finger up his shitty ass.

That's hilarious.

That's so funny to say that as you're getting kicked out of his house and tell everybody he put his finger in his ass and touched all the food and just ruined everybody, not his sweaty ass crack.

Yeah, everyone's done that.

I'm a good friend of mine. Just got hurt in the. From a different website, so. I decided to use the wish. And hopefully so looks like what the picture shows and it comes on time, I don't know, but I got a pretty good deal and so I can't go.

So the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Look like when he arrives? Let's see. One, two, three. Me. That's what he's supposed to look like. I think you have Paul Oakley or some type of clay. He's not. So look, the fuck is wrong with this person.

He's different. I don't know who that is.

He's absolutely. So hopefully when I get I he might be the best reaction ever to a tick tock.

I'm excited. So we'll see. Don't ask me to send you Christmas.

So I'm like, oh, wait, that's terrible.

Isn't that bad? You'll like this one. You'll like this one.

Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. Oh.

Oh, my God. Wow. Wow, man, I didn't know that.

I just wow.

My coins above 18. I got a very special request going out to a very special queen above 18. Her name is Sarah. Oh, she is absolutely beautiful. Very stunning. Queen above 18. Sarah, would you be my queen for the day? Oh, my God. I know the king loves his queen above 18. You have a good night, my queen. Sweet dreams. Oh, wow. We'll talk to you in the morning, by the way.

Hugs and kisses, my queen of eight game.

You could adopt you could adopt this persona.

Pauly Shore could be like, hello, my queen above, A.J. What's he trying to say?

He's trying to talk to you next to women who are for sure not minors, OK?

And he just says Queens above 18 and then send me your boob pics and then he makes queen for a day, just making a real clear that I'm talking to adults.

Well, I like your shamelessness, by the way. We haven't given him credit for being a real good, cool guy. The lighting is shit. The back he's laying down to make the. It's out of focus.

Yeah. I mean, it's like Tom when Tom talks about shitting. Yes, it does. Right here.

I feel a connection to this man, the king. Yeah, we got the next one. Of course, we should go to the next one, guy's got like Rappoport fuckin headphone stuff. I know what's going on with you. Oh, no, it's Bobby Lee.

Well, I would like to advocate for and allow for the acceptance of. Top from top. The top being off and on people shirtless, A. what do you call it, fitness, and I think that there's nothing wrong with it. And we should it should be accepted and legal because it does no harm to anybody.

And I think that we need to free three of the top part of the person's body that that they know that way, you know, there's nothing to hide and vote yes on Prop 27 people, regardless if.

OK, what if someone does indeed fake Bert onto this?

You're really missing out on the whole point of having this shit means is waving you. Oh, Sam, I know it's Halloween.

So the spooky tones of poverty.

I'm sorry that I took a couple days off. I was OK. I know. In a bad. I was born and my best friend, my sixth toe, I was missing him, so I kind of took a break, but I. I'm back and he's still haunting, so I have a beautiful day and only two days, you guys are looking at his chest. Let's hope the videos. I thank you for the support. I really do.

He's in a better place. I put a grave marker up for him and I talk to him every morning.

His six beautiful day if you need some shout outs.

Is that what he said? My sixth toe is? I thought his first name was Mike and his last name was Sixto. That's what I understood.

I don't know, Mike. Does it really matter?

OK. He's just he's back to coffee like I like my men. Oh.

So that's the corny, jokey talk line that I found where people think they're being really funny and horny and I don't know, did it work for you?

What did it entice you to DM her to slide into her deal? What if she didn't look like her?

But it was the same thing?

Well, if she was like a really hot chick, it depends on where you're at in the day or night. There you go. Yeah. You know, I mean, I started from a day where you'd be like, I'm a dreamer, maybe.

Yeah, but not her, right? No, no. That's close to gnarly. We got that.

Yeah, but, you know, but also you got to be careful these days.

Yeah. You can't just be like, hey, you know what I mean.

I don't know how you would do it. I mean, this seems seems like a chaotic world. You got to just keep it very PC. All right. Hey, how's it going? You look fantastic, right? You know you know, you can't go into the old days and you can't here like you want to come over.

You got to be like we'd like to meet at a public location. Now, you can't fuck. No, you can't say that. You can't be like you can't be like, hey, let's let's you know, maybe have dinner at dinner.

Let's go get coffee. Yeah. Is there anything worse than a coffee date. No.

Gross. So but would that work for you. The funny joke horny lady. No, not really. Know why though.

I'll tell you the other thing. This is why. Yeah. Chicks that really put out spit on your dicks, sit on your face and all that stuff. They don't like you.

You think it's going to happen from the girl that's forward sexually joking about it?

Yeah, she's not like that. She's like, oh, that was a joke. Yeah. Like that girl who's quiet kind of stares at the ground.

Maybe that's the one. Right. She's the one you want to take home and. Yeah, she's the real of it.

So what you're saying is the ones that really throw it out there, it's unattractive.

I think anybody being horny on taking, you know, on a track, you know, who sometimes is like the real put out the girl who like whatever is hanging out and like some girls making like sexually sexy jokes. And there's one girl who's not. And you think she's timid, you're like, oh, are they offending you? That's the biggest threat.

Like, you think she's maybe offended and she's not she's just like, yeah, I do like shit on the side. She's just like, this is child's play. These show like shit.

Would you agree with that?

I don't know. You can't really do or say anything anymore. So I can't comment on that comment. No comment, but you got it, it's interesting because. You know, you go out, you're in line at a coffee shop, you see a pretty girl, you want to talk to her, but you can. You can say hi, but you can't be like, hey, dad, like when I hang in, I mean, it just got to keep it super.

Is that what you did?

So do you say hi? You'll be like, hi. That's lame. So how do you get a date?

Yeah. It's just this guy. Yeah, you know, it's just kind of a natural, like it's got to you know, she's got to kind of be putting it out more.

Oh, so you do that, you need her to lead a little bit before. A little bit. A little bit.

You know, there's got to be you know, and then also if you if you just come across nice and you're not trying and you just keep it friendly, then that's kind of like the direction I think, you know. And then at the end of the day, it's interesting. A lot of times you'll meet girls or I'll meet girls and they'll say they have a boyfriend. And instead of getting like but heard about it, you're like, cool, let's be friends.

Like the old days, you'd be like, oh, I don't want to be your friend, but the new days, it's like, yeah, I could be friends with the hot girl. Because if you go out with her, then why should friends and other girls, you know, say like that?

And then you just become friends? I became like in Vegas. I'm friends with a lot of pretty girls. And you have boy friendly friends. Yeah, just they have boyfriends. And I'm like, oh yeah. And it's like, how did you meet them though?

Through friends, you know, or an Instagram like, oh, follow my friend's Instagram and, you know, Instagram is like a great place to meet people as long as it's done in a way that is not gross.

So here's the thing, though, guys, is that I think what these horny talks is that I think these women think that by putting it out there like, hey, I'm really into sex, that it's going to attract men.

But what you're saying is this does not that one's really great if you're you're not going to it's not going to attract men. It's dick repellant, I think.

No, I think what happens is it ends up being the okey doke because like the girl that goes like the girl who goes like I like my men, like in me, you go like the the natural thing is to be like, OK, know she's funny or you're like, oh, she's horny. I'm saying that you're going to be misled, you're going to be fooled. You're fooled into thinking that she's like overtly sexual. And I think she isn't.

I think it's just a joke. So it doesn't work. This tactic doesn't work. I don't think it works.

Well, how does this work, you know, with vaginas for meant to be kissing? They want came with purpose, just saying, poof, yeah, that's in here, is that OK, this is maybe turned everything on its head. I think she's a bona fide certified A-1 slut. Right. Can I see the beginning part of this beginning part?

You know, if the vaginas weren't meant to be kissed. They wasn't it came with purpose, just saying she felt like secretly Fox, Fox. All right. Yeah, right away. And I'll give her I'll find her and I'll reach out to with Polly's. OK. She fox. Yeah, no doubt about it. And she's probably got a twenty seven year old kid boobs.

The proof that men can focus on two things at once.

Oh I can't roll my eyes hard enough. Those are big melons. Oh shit. Yeah.

The problem with veganism is that it's rooted in self ego and about being better and above from others. That is settler colonialism. You can't talk about healthy food without addressing colonialism in our own food systems, and it's really embedded in what we eat.

OK, I don't know what the fuck that goes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. It's a fun guy. It's a fun guy to hang out with for sure. He's a good time.

Ladies, have you ever been with a man who's like super vocal and bad and you're on top and he's like staring at you and it's like, oh my God, you're so beautiful and you're staring at him like this. OK, so I worked for Polly. I think she's funny that I thought that was pretty funny. I think she's funny. And I also think that she fucks I don't think she's thought. I think she fucks. Yeah. Yeah.

And she said, yeah, that's not she's not full of it.

So you're saying you've changed your mind on that? I'm not in my mind. I'm going on an individual basis. And I think like case by case, there are people that make the sex jokes. Certain women that make the sex joke are the false advertising. OK, there's a date between those lines.

Can I take a piss? OK, well, yeah. Hello. Good boy.

Let's do a prediction before we play the talk. I want to go on. Looks alone. Do you think she fucks or not.

Yeah, Tom. OK, Polly says she's sick more the she sucks that going more than 100 percent she fucks.

OK, let's hear the talk.

OK, first of all, this is a really good game. Those are big tits, big tits.

But I think the angle makes it look bigger, make them look bigger, makes them look like most girls blush at dirty scenes in the movies.

I laugh because I know I can do better. Yeah, yeah, she's sure she is probably really good at it. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, she sucks a lot of d I think you're right about the dick sucks more than sex, more than sex.

She puts out that I'm like is also like like when she's done you'd be like, hey, that was really impressive. Yeah. She probably does it really good.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. And she's never not swallowed. Yeah. She's never like come on my tits. It's like I'm taking it all. Oh yeah.

And then also she's taken big loads and little else and like if you, if she gets up and she's getting up she notices there's like a drop on your thigh, comes back down, licks it up.

Yeah. See you guys.

She's from the Midwest or the South or probably from Michigan. That's where they teach it. But I think she's sophisticated enough to do the cat eye makeup. So which leads me to believe it's a big city. It's a city. It's Mr. Big Ted. Third good big milkers. Yeah. Breathe in.

Oh wow. And then. And then. And then she got to you got to really feel it in your diaphragm.

OK, this is horse. So this is this guy's hilarious the smart way.

This is how porn is figured out how to make its way to ticktock. So this is also new is porn. This is her page. So this is a real porno. Yeah.

And they've managed to splice it into this little segment cause the sex part.

Well, you have to go to Petunia Primroses Page, but usually talk will flag pornography or take it down. So they found a nice loophole system. So I'm congratulating them.

Maybe they have the link to like the like the scene in there, like.

Yeah, yeah. But it's smart. The pornographers are using this medium.

I think it's about time. Primrose Yeah, definitely. Because it took me out, it caught me off guard. I was like, well what's this is porn.

And then it was kind of neat that I found this hairstyle is so cute, but it might be disrespectful for you to wear it. Here's what to ask yourself before trying your new hairstyle. Is this style important to a culture or tradition?

Oh, my God, I can't. I just can't. I can't.

I don't know what that that whole I mean, is it offensive? Is it to do your hair a certain way? Yeah, it is OK. This next generation of. That's where that was real, you can tell that that's pretty authentic. Yeah, that was funny. Whoopsie, she made up see the bombers. That was great. Yeah.

Oh, there we go. Another horny funny Tuesday. Oh, my God, you'll have a good day. Now, does she fuck? Oh God, I know she fuck this when I'm on the fence about I. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, probably I'd say she gets gangbanged more.

I don't think she got just one guy is not going to able to handle that.

She's a lot she needs that would have like people, you know, she's like more dicks the better that you joke about this. But I would just be I could definitely see being with her or her being like. Where's your dick? I don't know, because I went back inside you, because I went back inside of me, but then even if it were hard, like there's just so much of her, I could see her being like, what are you doing?

Like, I'm just looking for a spot, not see anything yet. Yeah. You couldn't come in her bedroom.

One hundred percent, without a doubt. A top unless there's Peggy involved, I am totally willing to be bottom bitch for a girl with a strap. Wow.

Yeah, this guy's confused. Yeah, he's a little bit. This is the guy that that started.

Everybody hates cats or whatever that show. Oh fuck. Don't fuck with cats everybody.

This looks like the guy, the sitcom version everybody hates. Everybody hates cats.

We don't fuck with God. Yeah, don't fuck with Chad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what's his name. Looka looka Monkton. Yeah, yeah.

This guy is very cool. Cool, cool.

I'll be I'll be able to hit bottom.

Yeah. That's dope. He just told the whole story. That's what I'm saying. I just thought this was rad. Like how is this on ticktock. It's something like cool ass tribal guy who knows what he knows exactly what happened to their son.

He knew that was Corey.

He's like, tell someone. Oh yeah.

Looks like an alligator teeth. Yeah, it's dope, right? Yeah.

Well, somebody ripped that shit where the world's like, where is this. I want to know. Oh that's Cleveland. You know.

It's right by the river. Yeah.

But I just, I was so taken by. Yeah. The absolute randomness of that's a good talk. It was rather good talk. The best thing you could do for somebody is make them smile or go down on them. I agree, Christina.

What do you think? It's time. I don't think she fucks, though. I think she. Or does she? She's like the accountant lady.

She blows. She blows. So come on. The best way to start a day of mourning, that's when I started doing is to get the hang.

I got pretty bad diarrhea. That doesn't stop you. This is a wellness check. Did you take your medicine, do they or did you forget again, huh? Take it right now. Did you drink water? No. Well, fucking drink some. And I said dehydrated. Did you eat? I don't eat. Even if it's a little bit. You got to eat and have a great day. Wow.

That was that for I don't know, whoever needs to hear it. It was upsetting the whole way around so. Yeah.

Do you need to eat me before my haircut is just me. After I look so much prettier than she.

Oh she's so rad.

Yeah. So this is Grandma drone attack and she makes pretty bangin talks. I'm really in her feed right now.

It really seems like a very cool advanced like concept to execute for a senior like that. That's what I mean. She's a firm grasp of how this works and I really appreciate that.

Well, what the hell? I'm sorry.

Are these the reason to scare people in public? If you don't know how they will react, maybe you do not do that in public.

It's true. It is true to give warning. It's a good morning scare. People scare people don't want.

So this is what happens if you refuse to wear a mask in the Italian Senate. How great is that? Mad. There are also fans of Madonna that is so insane, they really that's so different. Like you imagine that playing and playing out here in the States. Nope, they're there's just like is just a whole theatrical like took place.

They carried them out like a child. Yeah. And they're, you know, amazingly amazing.

That guy got to watch that. You are looking at you. Oh my God. Look at that. So I get. Now, do you remember who this is? That is how do you remember what ticktock star this is? Yeah. It was it it's, uh, it's the lady. She washed your hands, you guys forgot it.

This is what the fuck is this? I don't know. She said a lot of paranormal activity or some shit.

She's got a lot of fans, other people make T-shirts for her own shirts. Yeah, she is huge on the talk right now. Yeah, yeah.

It's really nice. Good talk.

Oh, look, I'm not going to be. They say it's refreshing because I'm clean, I think cyber. That's how Zagros needs to be. This one I'd like to thank Ethan Klein for, he sent this to us. So let's give Ethan full credit. What does he even say? He says I can I shower, I'm clean. That's how I can lick my armpits like this. I shower. I'm clean. Well, he does have a point is that if you're if you shower, you should be able to look at our pets like that.

Oh, it's all like discolored. I don't think I don't even think it's about that. I think just physically about him. Oh, you think he's gnarly? Yeah. Yeah, he's super gnarly. Like, I have enough fucked up things in my head. Yeah. I don't need to get more and more fucking gnarly. Not no respect to him as a human being. Yeah. But I don't want to see him naked.

You know, your foul dude, your nastiest motherfucker. Yeah. So you know that shit.

Uh, sweating with the what do you what do you play that video. I don't have it. Play sweat with the ways. It's my workout video. Oh, yeah, it's quite you're in my backyard. Yeah, I have a dance partner. It's called Sweat with The Wiz because I got a lot of comments. I look like Richard Simmons. Yeah. So I'm like, fuck, I'll just wear is.

This isn't the one where you do look exactly like Richard Simmons right there.

Go to the other one.

You're the one in Vegas with The Wiz. Yeah. There you go. That's right there. We just put that. This is your pad. Yeah, that's. See. And who's your partner here? This is, uh oh, no, I've had so many. OK, this is I think her name is Karen. You even know her name now because I had four girls. Look at those legs, girl. Jesus Christ.

Well, the weasel is in better shape. You lost weight. What did you do? Did you do these workouts and eat helped you change your diet? No, I just kind of like I hiked a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, hiked a lot mazing.

And it's so silly. I like it. I love it. And she just imitating whatever you do. Yeah. Yeah. And then she does it to me. She does her own thing I guess. So it's like she's a professional dancer.

OK, and then she dances and like a real show in Vegas. Not a stripper. Yeah. Yeah, a dancer.

And then she does the um. She does her own thing. Wow. Sounds good. I like that shirt. Do you sell that shirt.

Yeah. Do you like the, the what about the wood floor.

I love her. It's so good. So this is your. Oh, look at you, man. Yeah. Very impressed. Yes, you know, so this is you know, we do this every Monday, we have like a workout thing and people can work out it's always a different girl to come.

Yeah, yeah. And I never do a post workout cleanse, if, you know I'm saying no.

Yeah, no, no.

Oh, no. We just do it. You know what? It's kind of like a motivational it's kind of like a motivational comedic kind of thing that you.

Yeah.

And Paula Pollok Pollok is my Friday night show. That's where I have my band. And where is that band. Yeah, we have a band. Tell them to go to Pollok. And do they go where did you go to check it out. Yeah it's I do songs like OK I have a band. So we do songs though. Yeah. There you go. Right. That's probably OK right there. OK.

Oh is this in the house. Yeah that's right. Yeah. So I have a band. Oh you really do. Yeah we're good. We're like a good band.

OK and I sing. Oh and where'd you meet. Where'd you meet the band. The crew and my friend Sal. OK, yeah. Through my friend Sal. You got a whole setup here man. And this is Pete Townsend. Pete Townsends. Let my love open the door.

I do feel like a jacket too. It looks great. Yeah. This is 80s.

We're going back to the eighth grade 11. It you've got your confidence. You're on, you're singing. Yeah, it's fun. You look great. It's fun. Right. And then we got the pop. Paulie Rance, which is my podcast that's on on Thursdays. And then we got classic scenes from classic movies. And don't forget guest house and guest house. Yeah, that's all right. Now, people can rent that. That's on. That's on Blu ray and DVD on the middle of November.

And right now it's on digital digital and then it'll be on Netflix December 18th. Oh, it's going to Netflix. Wonderful.

Oh yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, it's cool. And everyone's in it. All the comics are.

And I talked to you guys about it now. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Just had a baby or was it. Yeah, I have a baby. So it wasn't the time to cry about you guys being the the couple. That's right. I would have been hilarious.

Now imagine being in the back of your guest house. I know that would have been funny.

Yeah. Yeah. How'd you end up who ended up playing it.

Her name's Amy, Amy Teagarden and Mike Castle. Really great, great comedic actors. Good. Really great comedic actors. And then and it turned out great. It's fun. You know, Bobby's in it and you got Eric Griffin in it, Stevo and and a lot of people are in it and it's turned out really good.

So that's great, man. That's awesome. And, uh, from here, do you go back to Vegas? Yeah, I'm going to be here for a while. I'm doing Tiger Belly this afternoon. And then I got my podcast at All Things Comedy with Bill is doing it tomorrow and then Mike Binder's doing it tomorrow. So I'm just promoting the documentary. Wow. For the store right now. I'm trying to get all those people that's great on there.

And I had Jeff Ross on last night and and I got, uh, also Annie Annie Letterman was on great. And yeah, I'm just here for about five, six days. Oh. I'm glad that my producer, Vaina Venis, I'm glad to hear you say that the store's not going anywhere. Yeah, very comforting to hear you. It can't. Yeah. You know, it can't go anywhere. I think just give it, I think six months.

You know, I think after Biden gets in there and I think after, you know, they find a vaccine and you know, they just. I think we just have another more, I don't know, three to four months of this, I think I hope that's my feeling. And then when you guys leave, I don't know. We don't know yet. We have so many things away. That's a lot of moving parts, but a lot going on.

You say we said that at the same time, it's like we're married team that.

Well, once you give me some head, I do.

But I mean, it's one or any other which is created. Yeah. I mean, you just hanging out with the wind saying shouldn't do you sweating with the weisburd.

That was the race. This is it. He told me how to start talking to chicks. What's up with that. There you go.

No, it's been, it's been a it's been cool. You know, this whole this whole this whole coronavirus thing has been pretty interesting.

I've never in my life have we experienced something like this. We can't be next to people I know. You know, it's so weird. But you just got to do your part, right? Yeah. And wear your mask and wash your hands. And, uh, you know, I'm your ass and you're done.

Put your ass. You can burp and use your ass juice and put it in people's food.

There you go. That's hilarious. Fulsom. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I think you've got to take another shit now. Probably. Actually it's time. I think I do. I can go time to take a shit. No I took a shit this morning. I show once a day.

Good. I'm all good. He hasn't shiting in two months. Your friend. Oh my. Oh and.

And he wants 20 grand for colonics for Dick. We're doing you a favor by cleaning your asshole out any.

Yeah. Communist cannot believe that shit. What's fucking 20 grand is so ridiculous. Come on Mark. Don't be stingy. Yeah.

Come on. You know man, the Jews call it a mitzvah. Yes. Yes. Would have been a mitzvah for you.

It's for your for your call and then the whole thing and. Yeah, but you should do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to come. Needs it.

Always great to see you Paulie again. You know, check out his YouTube channel, check out, uh, houseguests. Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. I guess I was um exercise videos. Yeah.

I'm in Vegas so I'm living in downtown Vegas. That's a great you know, it's very reminds me of Silver Lake meets like Williamsburg. It's kind of like young murals everywhere. It's cool. It's a go. People think Vegas. They think the strip. Right. You know what I mean? But there's a whole community there and people are really nice. And it's it's one of the entertainment capitals of the world. Definitely age is everywhere and. Yeah.

And, um, and it's cool, like making the best of it too. That's great, man. Yeah. So and also watch the Comedy Store on Showtime, if you have not yet a celebration of the store and what it means to so many people and of course the Paulie and his family. So you should definitely check it out.

Um, and random rants. My podcast definitely checked out. She was on it. Yeah. Hopefully someday you can do it. I would love to be super fun.

Closing your closing song is Leatherman by Chug. We will see you guys next week.

Day, night, the same, I feel I'm.

And I wish I could, but I can't. Brianna Keilar is going to be the first person to have an. Break away from home will be your last name. Joe is Joe. Every time we come to the same place. And it feels just like I am enslaving myself. Everybody tells me to and I would if I could, but I can't. And I want to cancel. Eau de de de de de de de.

Obviously, the renegade is going to be the first person ever to break away from you, slain renegade to be the first person.

Frank. And I wonder if I could, but I can't so.