583 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom SeguraYour Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
- 926 views
- 23 Dec 2020
Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to save $225 on your order - Go to https://Brooklinen.com and use code MOM for 10% off your first order. - Go to https://Talkspace.com or download the app, and use the code YOURMOM to get $100 off your first month! - When you purchase a three month subscription, https://Babbel.com will give you 3 additional months for FREE with Promo Code "MOM - Go to https://Truff.com and use code "MOM" for 10% off your order site-wide. - Go to https://ButcherBox.com/MOM and get 6 steaks for free in your first box - Go to https://SoloStove.com and get $10 off when you use promo code "mom" at checkout. - Go to https://ForHims.com/mom and get your first visit absolutely free PULL YOUR JEANS UP! Tom Segura is out of the studio for this episode, but Zooms in to chat with Christina P about his injury, peeing in jars, and CP's dental accident. They watch recent videos from TikTok all-star The King, as well as a helicopter "horrible or hilarious" video. They also answer listener-submitted "Ask Mommy Anything" questions. Nadav joins Christina on the couch to discuss personal hygiene, leg injuries, The Crown, and more! Zollo joins her to watch TikToks, discuss Pazsitzky Effects, and settle an ongoing studio argument.
I mean, have you showed people what your arm looks like right now? Have you put that on Instagram? No, I haven't.
I don't know if you want to read or what. It's just right now, you know.
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Sentier Oh welcome to IMH.
My jeans above eighteen, my vegan vaginas. We are here on the Trans Canada Highway. I am only one mommy with one gene.
As you can see, my the genes of my life, the the the the loins of my fire, my loins, he is still he's in the in the recovery center right now and will be joining us shortly after he's done doing his PT Physical Therapy and OTTI, which is I don't know over time is what they do. Right. You it.
Anyways, we're going to catch up on some IMH stuff. Nadav is here with me on the couch. Thank you for joining Gene.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What's going on? Bye bye. We are here, we're queer, I'm non binary, and it's been a while, I don't know when. When did the accident happened? Now it's been December 1st.
We've had I mean, this is being recorded on December 14th. So it's been 14 straight days of craziness.
It's a wild ride. It's what you know, because it's already so crazy, all the things that happen here and like, oh, we could do this and oh, now, now we can't do this. And yeah, I mean, with this with this injury is pretty wild. All the things that we're able to do.
So now, instead of Tom being right next to you, we're going to have him zoom in a little bit later as soon as he's done with physical therapy, because that's the show.
So. So, yeah.
Tom, is that a recovery place? And we're going to prop him up with pillows and we set him up on Zoome and he'll be able to watch clips and chime in on this stuff.
But, you know, it's Tom's on a lot of drugs right now, guys.
He sure is. But I'll tell you what, I have done two checks for Zoome with the entire Sigurður family so far. There's been Marea charged on Doug Tom, best tech check we've ever done, of course, in and out.
He was so breezy. He knew everything. Oh, this button. I know what you're talking about, Chris.
Well, the husband's the best. That's why I made babies with him. He's the champ and he's a god damn fighter. And, you know, it's been an it's been a nasty two weeks. I'm not going to lie. I did. By the time this airs, they will have seen the episode I did with Bert for two bearer's right. And cameras rolled. And I just started crying immediately because I hadn't seen Bert since the accident happened. And it was so emotional to go through it.
I mean. Right. I mean, have you guys been I even talked to you. Really? Yeah.
I mean I mean, like even just seeing both of you to talk about it. I'm like this got this traumatized. The both of you guys equally like not as much as the guy in the hospital.
Looks like Bert like Bert got like I remember I remember getting the phone call when it happened.
And it's like I know that they're filming. This happened on December 1st. And I get a phone call like first I got a text from Lindsay being like, hey, guys, this thing that we had an argument on, now's the time to, like, place bets on whether or not someone could do it or not.
And I was like, oh, placing bets on this. Placing bets on that. And then I didn't hear anything for about an hour. And then Bert calls me and I'm like, OK, this is probably for Cameron, like, oh, what's up, Bert?
He's like Tom Brokaw, half his body. He broke his leg and his arm and. Yeah, buddy, we got to reschedule two bears tomorrow. I'm like, Oh, OK, buddy.
Yeah, I still think it's a bit. Yeah. And I had to ask two or three times before, he's like, no, no logit. The shoot's not happening tomorrow.
Like this is getting called off and we need to figure some stuff out.
I'm like, OK, see, I didn't realize that you got the lead up to what was happening. Like, I didn't I was just putting down the babies. I was alone with the kids. It's the evening I knew they were shooting something together. And I, I see that bird is calling and immediately I go, oh, he wants me to chime in on some horse shit like push.
Tom said that you're giving him a the way LeAnn gives me blowjobs. I want to see, you know. And I was like, I'm not answering this right horse. She thought it was an on camera phone call. Yeah. And then of course I go to take a pee and I'm holding my phone. And then Tom calls in just as I'm peeing.
And I thank God I was on the toilet for some reason because it was like oddly soothing that I was doing something else at the same time, like, oh, I'm pissing. And he's like, Babe, everything's OK. I'm in an ambulance.
Like, those two sentences do not go together.
I don't imagine how terrified you were. Yeah. That you went from like I'm not dealing with their bullshit to immediately. Yeah. Ambulance talk.
Well, because I wasn't sure. Well they'll talk about it all on Tuba's live right on New Year's Eve. You guys will get to hear the full story and you'll get to see because we they were filming.
This is the dangerous.
And so the injury is going to premiere on two bears live on why image studios dot com slash livestream. Get your tickets now. Great.
That's the stupidest part of all of this is my husband is broken in half and you guys are like, oh, but the footage is awesome.
They're going to love seeing this.
I'm like, are you kidding me? But I guess, like, you have to turn tragedy into comedy, which is what we've done here at Why image. You know, you we got fired from McDonald's. We lost two and a half million dollars. We turn around, we fucking made it into comedy gold. And, you know, it's funny.
Morten's fired the person who put up the first I live fire. We came back and this is how we prevail. At what I am a genius. We turn tragedies into fucking. Yes, you try and fire us. We just get fired up. Fire me.
Fire you. Fuck you. Yeah. Fired up, man.
No, but I'll tell you what, man, because people are like Christina. How are you doing? Are you going to be OK? I'm like, you know what, you know what? 20/20 has been such a cocksucker. Yeah. And I am strong Eastern European woman.
This shit does not fucking faze me. OK, I take care of everything. You see, I'm here now. I take care of fucking everything. Fuck you.
OK, so let's get to it though before Tommy gets here.
Hmm. Oh yeah. We should probably open the show. Oh Tom usually does that. I know I never get to open the show Tom.
It that his responsibility historically Tom has always had the laptop. OK, so I get to fucking say it. Let's go ahead and get into the show.
If you're horny, say hell yeah. Hell, yes. Stupid. I would love it if you don't understand.
Well. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom SEGRA. And Christina. Go. Yo, yo, yo. All right. Oh, it's just not the same without him, though, I know it's weird, like I felt like I didn't want to air guitar. I'm like, that's not my thing. That's not your thing.
You can't do it without even doing the Meaulnes felt weird to me. Now it's two mommies, one jeans. Anyways, it has been weird without him in the house now for the last two weeks.
I'll tell you that I've been sleeping really well.
I mean, not in the beginning because I was traumatized. But now like I, I fall asleep and I'm not listening to sounds of people being murdered or like drug cartel shows.
So what do you fill in that void with?
Well, I've been watching the crown and like really getting down on it.
Yeah, well, it's the crown. My God. Queen's Gambit. I mean. Yeah. So I mean, female empowerment all the way shows are is your murder. I guess so.
I think there's something I like about royalty. But the crab you have you watch the crown. I know your boy.
I tried watching an episode of it and I'm like, good Christ.
This is like the first episode is not so good. And then it gets way better confirmed. I could confirm that, but I like this one because it's the pilot and it's supposed to really sort of thing. Yeah, but I'll tell you what I do enjoy is I can watch the gay shit now without any judgment like I'm doing belowdecks.
I'm doing all the Bravo, I'm watching all the Hallmark Channel. I think that's bad for you.
You think so? Yes. You go. Anyone going unchecked is bad for that.
And I think that's what you're missing right now.
I know I don't have anybody there to tell me how ridiculous that is. Right. Don't watch below deck your you have a functioning. I know, but I need him there. Um, but I, I go to bed at like nine which has been nice to me. Yeah.
And also I have a very important dental update for the audience. I know this is very important in the image world. If we could go ahead and get the music. Thank you.
Yes. Breaking news, you guys. Yep. So in the midst of all this drama, some of you may have seen on my Instagram account at the Christina P.
Oh, yeah, that so I'm in the hospital with Tom and it's the day he's going to check out and go to this recovery center. And of course, I ordered us a beautiful sushi lunch, very expensive one. I was like, you know, we should treat ourselves right today, Tom. And I'm biting into a perfect spicy tuna hand roll like a beautiful one. And, you know, when you can hear your teeth breaking in your head, do you ever have, like, of knowing, oh, you've never I've never had you can like you feel it in your skull when you're here.
Venire lifts like the glue was coming off and I could feel it.
And I was like, OK, I immediately felt it moving and I was fine. And then I took another bite. I was like, come.
And I looked up and this is what I look like. And Tom was like, Oh, it's OK.
You know, it's crazy. It's horrible. It's not. It's shaved down as I thought it was underneath the bullet. Can you zoom in on that, Zolo? It's way yellower than the rest. Yeah, it looks like a corn. A piece of corn.
Oh, see, I don't think you look bad if all of your mouth looked like that little one. What are you talking about? I think that look, be a pretty cool look. I think a lot of rappers are doing that.
Just actually, I am seeing that some body modification where they're just sharpening all their teeth.
Yeah, I've seen that, too. And it's just like they just look like like Pixar sharks, like the crazy dog. You think I should do that?
But I mean, like you should be rebrand of great 20-20. I know. So I had to get my tooth glued back in. Thankfully the doctor agreed to do it right away and then I went back to the hospital and helped him get out of that. It was it was wild. They a away what.
What a way. What a way to end twenty. I mean there's still at this point there's still two weeks left. But I mean. Yeah, a whole bunch left could still.
I know it's such a bummer. I mean I've been kind of waiting for this to happen my whole life with veneers for the venire to pop out because I've heard stories.
Yeah, I heard a story once, but Steve Harvey was somewhere on the road and he bit into a chicken wing and it popped off and he got on a plane immediately and went home. To have a fix like this is my worst nightmare, is that I'm in some small town.
Oh, yeah. Get your Steve Harvey's all fucked. Yeah.
And then Steve Harvey gets a Steve Harvey Specter. You can't do that. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like what? What would I have done? I mean, I shoved the tooth right back in when it happened. And believe it or not, it stayed in on its own pretty well. Like I could I couldn't really talk. But I don't know, man.
I mean, what's your worst fear is is it knocking out a tooth? Is it falling down and cracking your head open?
My I mean, my worst fear is another knee injury, because that's the type of like I know that pain very well, like so much where like I can't watch another one.
When did it happen? I had a freak trampoline accident. What yeah, when I'm when I was, I think, 23, 24, oh, my God, I tore my meniscus an ACL and I had it like a cadaver ACL put in my knee and it was a whole thing.
So now I can't watch people jump on trampolines without, like, wincing every time they jump. And when I have to, like, drop from a ledge where it's like, oh, yeah, hey, just drop this like one foot, like jump from this thing to like one foot distance like that scares the shit that I'm like, I'm going to fucking fuck it up again.
Fuck. I tell you, those trampolines are just death toys. They really are so fucking dangerous. I'm never getting one from my kids. No way.
But actually, you know what reminds me in saying your venire pop out. It's my own dental update. You have one I, I have a lack of one because.
Well, because well I mean the last time I was going to take I was going to take care of my and I was going to do the whole fucking thing.
I was going to do a full teeth. Tell me.
Tell me what I was good.
First of all, when's the last time OK, before this appointment, when's the last time you had your teeth looked at x rays, the fall ever in your life. You're you're a thirty year old now. X rays. Oh my God. Seriously.
I mean, I probably had some baby teeth probably when I when I got my last X and I mean that's kid shit though. OK, OK. Dental x rays. This kid shit. No it's not. I'm an adult. Right.
Well you do that, you're supposed to do that every like when the dentist sees fit maybe every year.
Look what you're supposed get x rays every year. Now you're supposed to get cleaning's every year.
Every six months you're supposed to get clean. Yeah. OK, so see but they say I have really good salivary glands.
That that's disgusting. No, no, no. Because it adds a layer of protection. They're like what the fuck are you even talking?
Like all your teeth should have fallen out, but you salivate so much that it kind of protects it a little bit. Wow.
You are you're making so many girls right now with this kind of stuff as well as my mouth.
Yeah, but but here here's actually what's crazy.
Here's what's crazy.
So I like the last time I went to the dentist, we said, well, because I went to, I think, a really shitty Chinese buffet and I got one of those Salt-Water overalls.
I fucking love those. And they didn't debone it.
So I had a bone go straight into a gum and like like one of those tiny bones that are like kind of malleable. Yeah. And it stayed there for like a day. And I'm like, it's starting to feel hot.
It feels hot in my mouth right now. Like that means infection, right?
It does. And so I thought I was the last time I had it cleaned and I was maybe three years ago and I was like, it's too long. My my teeth are gross. My teeth are, you know, off not they're not white.
No. So I was going to I finally was proud of myself.
I took care of. But it's like I'm scheduling a full teeth cleaning.
I'm scheduling a two part tooth whitening work for you. Yeah.
And then and then coronavirus happened and guys kept on changing the schedule on when we did that. Dr. Alexi's Fox coming in. OK, that's special one. And ever since then it's just been like, well, this is what happens when I try and take care of myself. I'm like, no, no, this is ridiculous.
You need to rebook this. Let's yeah, I've been saying that for like a year since I know I've been doing that. But it's like all this crazy stuff happens. Yeah. You know, they're not open on the weekends and it's like, why am I going to do fucking wake up at 4:00 a.m. so I could get there at six?
Tell you what, we will find a time for you in the studio will go dark for a day or five for me to get teeth whitening.
Well, and we're going to have Lindsey follow you and make it into a documentary. Well, yeah, because there's no way. First of all, how did you even find out that your solution salivary glands were overactive?
Because we were all really surprised. I had no cavities. And they're like, that's why I'm surprised you don't have cancer. I'm shocked I don't have cavities. Yeah, you're not like my disgust am.
I know. And my number and my numbers, like they're getting close to the border. We're just like, well, what's the it's a good to have a one hour is a good time before.
What are you talking about? When they check your gun, when they stab your shit and they're like, yeah, what is the low number?
Better is the high number, but the high number is bad because it means you're in gum disease. So like for four is red alert, five is like you're you're going to die.
So, look, I don't have ones, I'll tell you that. No, no. Not in that mouth. Yeah, not in this mouth.
I think I might have one or two twos, mostly threes. Oh, you're so gross. So lucky and lucky.
And I got a wet mouth like you said, that beautiful wet man.
I just want to suck it dry. So. Holy shit. Yeah.
So so this is so gnarly. And you smoke cigarettes. Yeah.
That mouth is and I drink, I like I use coffee as a meal replacement sometimes too. So it's like everything I'm doing to my mom. Yeah.
I'm doing the opposite. I'm. Blackening my teeth. Oh, yeah. Cough, cough, invading my teeth on your breath.
I haven't smelled it, but I imagine it's just I mean, once I put the mask on, it's you smell urine just like this is what it's been like.
No, it's not it's not that bad. Like, I've never got any complaints. I have straight up asked, like, ladies that I've you have I'm just like, hey, is this fucked up?
Like, you're fine. Well, I will say that when I smoked cigarettes, I actually enjoyed the smell of another person's cigarette breath.
Oh, but here's the I liked it. But here's the thing, though. Like, I'm super conscious about not having anyone absorbed that secondhand taste from my mouth.
So if I'm hanging out with, like, if I'm going on a date, I look just like, don't smoke that day.
Oh, wow. Yeah, that's really that's a lot of restraint. Yeah. And what's your other body regimens like? Do you are you showering every day and stuff.
If I'm coming in to work. Yeah. If you're, if you're coming into work. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah.
And then what's your weekend like. Is it just off the rails. Are you not brushing. It's just I just hit the off button until Monday morning and then I turn the on button back up. I take care of myself.
So by that you mean ah so you wake up and it's no teeth rash. It's straight to coffee.
Yeah. OK, yeah. Straight to coffee. Sometimes food. Straight to food. Straight to food. And you haven't brushed yet. Right. OK, and then it's on and then what. You watch you watching TV. Are you playing video games.
Um to tell you the truth, it's all kind of a blur because I've been in the stock game so I'm like trying to like pick up on all these other stock info from all these gambling addicts online.
Your stock. You're buying stock. I'm big into stocks. I'm big in stocks. I look at you.
Yeah, because I suck at gambling. Oh my God. That totally reminds me. Sorry you that that when you're like, I'm in the stocks I'm like, that's so juy of you.
Yeah. And we were sitting around having a great lunchtime. I'm sorry to cut you off. Don't know. I just imagine it's disgusting and like I get it it is. You just probably don't wash your cock and balls or your asshole for two days. Right.
Here's the thing. And then you shit like if someone else is coming in to encounter it, it's getting cleaned, right.
Yeah. But if you're alone it's like I'm going to suck myself.
Christine, I don't need to make my dick nice.
Oh, did you hear that. Any guys cut all this out.
I'm not going to suck myself.
Well any I believe that you're hygenic even if there's no girl present.
Is that accurate. Yeah man that's. Yeah that's it. Cake's up bro. You don't let that you let it sit for two days. That's, that's why, uh, they talk about the white people smell as well. That's right.
That's right. That's why people smell. Christina, you smell like that. You don't get too excited. It's not like that to every white person.
Smells like no. Any you smelled me. Uh, no, no, no. You don't smell like I sleep, but I do smell like white people. I don't want. I haven't smelled you yet.
Yeah, that's we haven't gotten to a point when we go to the pool, trust me, I'm smelling real close and I'll let you know that's my good. Yeah I definitely I look at wait a and I sound like is there a juice smell.
Did you smell any. But I don't know, I don't know.
You just white people are just blanket just as why people are thinking.
But so I had this, we were discussing it. We have these great lunchtime discussions. What's up. I'm getting a text from Tom saying he's Dimmeys getting anxious.
He's getting it. OK, let's let's bring him in. Let's get him in. Tom wants to come in. How are we going to do this guy? Is he just going to pop up?
Let's let's stop down real quick. OK, here it comes. We'll get him in. Here he comes. You come. You come.
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Here, I'm here. I'm here. It's not going to get hard till I'm ready to come so I. Yeah, I'm joining you from the recovery center that I'm at. One of the things that's been so hilarious, I'm very happy to be podcasting, by the way.
Oh, we missed you. It's not the same without Gene. The number of people that have been like, hey, so what really happened with what happened there? Like, this didn't happen during basketball. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, come on. What did you really do like think? My cover story is just basketball, like I like, that's what I would that's what I would make up because I'm ashamed of what really happened.
And I have been playing basketball.
Well, I think people don't believe you because the extent of the damage done, um, it's it's freakish.
It's gnarly. It's gnarly damage. I just it just wrapped up about 30 minutes ago. I do it six days a week. And my physical therapist was like, she's like, this is probably one of the gnarliest injuries I've seen in a while. Really? Yeah.
Oh, my God, that's terrible. So are we allowed to say what the prognosis is like? How long before you'll be.
Well, I mean, some of it just takes time to heal. I think the first time I'll be. In studio will be for the New Year's Eve live show, great. Yeah, that'll be the first time that I walk in the building and then I should be able to go in. I don't know if, like, I'll have to. I might have to sit down like the guest couch to do your mom's house for like a couple of weeks or something.
Oh, my God.
Well, because of my left my left eye, I say what the damage is, right? I mean, that's not this if you want. So I tore my left patella attended. So they had to reattach it and that's a that's. It's something that they tell you they go, you have to generate tremendous force to do it, and I was like, well, I'm pretty strong, so there's that.
And then, like, I'm an athlete, the I snapped my left humerus because the upper arm.
And how will you be sure?
And I also have a radial nerve damage, not damage. It's I shouldn't say it's not damaged. It's not severed. It's just like traumatized by the injury. So it just takes a while to for it to kind of kick back on.
So right now you have limited hand abilities, what you're saying? I have limited mobility.
I have limited mobility for like I mean, I have to walk with assistance. Like, I don't need a person. I need an apparatus.
Now, how will you masturbate?
Everybody's wondering the first thing the surgeon. So the surgeon came in and he goes. What hand do you jack off it and I go, What? And he goes, this is the most important thing. I know every patient and I go, I go, you know, I'm ambidextrous, but like, I prefer my right.
He goes, Oh, God. OK, good. So, yeah, well, that's that is I'm so glad to hear that. So you will be able and have you been masturbating a lot since the accident?
Not one time. Oh, I got to tell you, these balls are full here. Ready to go? Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been horny.
I mean, it's bull. I wonder why I don't I don't know why. Yeah. By the way, I'm not going to get into it because we're going to show it on the New Year's show. I just want you guys to know Burt sucks at basketball is terrible.
So don't be misled by any of his comments or posts or jokes. He fucking sucks. I love them. But he sucks. Yeah, is he he's the worst basketball players I've been around a long time. And what is he going? I didn't read his tweets. He's going around and saying that he's amazing or something. He he had the fucking audacity to say that he used like I'm Tuno, I want his such garb. Listen. I'm in mobile right now, I could beat him one on one right now.
Oh, wow. That's how bad. That's quite a claim, Tom. What's that blue fluid you're drinking now? This. What is that? It's come from the North Pole now, and Israel sent it down you also since the accident happened. We've come a long way with your ability to pee into containers since you've pretty much been bedridden where you think all you do.
But I'm a little more mobile now. All you do is lay it out. You know, like now I'm moving and all you do is like drink water, you know, sometimes Gatorade. I introduced coffee a couple of days ago, but so all day you have to piss. I mean, all day I've had I've had the nurses here. They're like, you're like a peeing machine. And I'm like, yeah, I'm drinking fucking two gallons of fluid today.
Yeah. And so, yeah, you just have these, you know, these are everywhere.
Yeah. Show us your pee, your piss.
But these bad boys and you just, you just whip your dick out and piss and I got to tell you. I'm in I'm not stopping this once. What are you saying, that you will continue to piss into plastic containers at home?
Do you know how annoying it is when we're doing the show right there to be like, I got to get up and go to the bathroom? Yeah, I might have to do it right there at the scene.
I've also I've lost all sense of modesty, every nurse, every staffer has seen my dick, my balls, they've seen touched, fingered and wiped my ass. That's crazy. Like, I don't I don't even I just I'm like, oh, yeah, this is what this is what God gave me. And I just everybody sees it.
Well, and I was a little upset in the beginning when I saw the nurses at this facility because they are all stunning.
And I specifically, here's the thing. Well, I requested ugly nurses when I checked you and I said, yes, you can come here, but I want the least attractive people helping my husband. And they didn't do that. They're all hot Russian babes. They're all babes.
Some some funny things have happened with my dick, so. So I'm in the hospital, right? I'm in the hospital. They they get I I'm there on a Wednesday. They're doing surgery Friday. And like I remember Saturday, I was like. How could my dick's not small, like usually when I'm in, like medical situations medically, like creep up inside of me and I'll be like, where's my dick? I'm sitting there, like, pulling it out, holding onto it, sticking it in the urinal.
And every time I reach down, it's kind of like it's not hard. It's just like fluffy and full. And I'm like, what's going on, you know? So anyways, then I come over here and my dick has been more like. You know, like checking out the situation online and he's going a little more like, um, like a little more retracting.
So now it's back to what I am used to in medical situations, which is like you're like, hey man, like we're about to do some good. You show up like wake up a little bit because it's been like this.
But why did he retract, do you think, when you. I think the reason it was full and fluffy was because of all the heroin I was on and. I would like to ask any opiate addicts if they're dicks or nice and full to the show. Yeah.
So you're saying the because you've been on a just a huge road, was on so many drugs and now I'm not. Now I. I'm not on Dilaudid. I'm not on Oxy. I'm on these fucking just bullshit. And then they're like, you're getting Tylenol in a couple of my great. So but the pain is also a lot less than it was, you know. Mm hmm.
So wait but so, so the the, the heavy stuff made your dick fluffier and harder.
And this is my theory. Yeah. But then here's here's the. OK, but what about the nurses too. Is that helping?
You know, the the prettier people are here. Yeah. Oh. So this is where it's smaller. Oh got you.
OK, sorry I'm stuck in Carlos washing my back at the hospital so.
The first time I go to shit here, oh, my God, this is what I'm in, I'm still in severe pain and I'm using this walker and like, I'm three quarters of the way there and they have to get a wheelchair because my triceps starts cramping and I'm like, oh, my God, I don't want it to, like, cramp so hard because, you know, you really cramp.
You can kind of overreact. And that fall, I don't want to fall. So I always get the chair, put me in a chair. That will be a few more feet. I get back up. They had put a commode. With handles over the toilet, this is so you don't have to sit all the way down the toilet, the commode seat is for like a normal sized person, like let's just say one hundred and sixty pound male or something.
I don't know. So when you're a man and you're sitting on a toilet, your junk sits inside the seat, right? This seat is so small that it's not even an option. My junk is outside of it. But when you're seated, you're seated. And like your your your butts down and your chunks up, your dick will naturally just start sinking to your body.
So I look like that guy from the live show. I remember the big fat guy that ran. You just saw his balls to my dick is now inside my body. Right, because I'm as I'm seated in such a way that my dick has nowhere to go.
And one of the nurses, one of your nurses that you're so impressed with looks over. And I see her look at my junk and she goes, oh, my God. Like, she reacts.
She's like, oh, like that. Like, she's like, I've never seen someone without a penis before.
Yeah. So they don't have to hold a urinal over my dick, oh, because when you sit and and the other day when I went to do that, I couldn't find the urinal.
So I just pissed into my hand and pissed all over the place.
And when you came in here in my hand. But it just went everywhere.
And so I got done shiting, I was able to I was able to wipe my ass like I scootin, I couldn't wipe my ass for like 10 days. Oh my God.
So I was able to wipe my ass and the nurses, like, is everything good? I was like, there's pee everywhere. She's like, what? I go, I couldn't have peed in my hand.
And they're just like, it's OK.
Like, it's OK. Just just we'll just get you back to bed. And then I go, Well, here's the thing. I tried to clean up because I just pissed all over the place and I get back here and I piss them on my shorts, I take my shorts off. So now I'm naked and the nurses like, let me clean you.
She's like, there's little pieces of paper all over your genitals. I'm like, yeah, I tried to clean the T up. And she's like, let me get that for you. So she takes a rag like has to clean. Yeah, it was pretty hot.
I was real turned off and she was turned on. She was like, this is fucking hot man.
Well you've also because of the crazy amount of opiates you've been on, have had trouble. Browning So they were packing you full.
I know, and that was a nightmare. This is day three of taking a natural shift, thank you, God, at first you don't understand. I was getting. I was getting the good shit like on the hour, they were like in Europe and I was like, yep, ten full, ten more Panamera felt they were just being like, give them another jab, jab at me in the arm.
Fucking pill after pill.
Dilaudid is what they were giving him when I was Dilaudid. Dilaudid, I don't know how to fucking say and I was going to visit you. I don't know if you remember this.
Well, I told by the way I told one of the nurses, I was like, well, what do you have this stronger in there? Like, nothing.
Yeah, well, I remember when I was in the hospital with you, we were chatting about the kids or whatever, and you would be like, how's Alice? And then they'd give you the Dilaudid and then you just nod off. Right.
And then you'd come back and be like, So anyway, I was I was doing OK. Like, you would continue the conversation that we had five minutes. It was it was a lot.
It was a lot. It was a lot. He yeah. So you can't shit for those narcotics really, you know, they stop you up. So the first time. I got injured on a Tuesday, so I didn't shit Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then I was like, hey, I'm getting worried because I heard, like, stories about people that don't go like for a long time, like any other people.
So I got I got nervous. So they're like they're giving me pills. Nothing's working. So, like, we're going to give you a suppository. And I was like, OK. So they get me to stand up. Bend over. Put it in there and they're like, you know, they're like, let it sit there for a while to work. I sat there for, like, I don't know, 30, 45 minutes an hour. I was like, when does it work?
And they're like, it's not working.
I was like. You know, when I finally went. It was such a disaster. I mean, it was just, you know, it looked like, you know, those like those videos that I think Duncan brought where the guy swimming in sewage and the sewage is coming over him.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what was coming. It wasn't like turd's. It was just like a sewage line opened.
Yeah. It was so bad. So bad.
Well, I was there for one of those dumps and the smell was horrific. Pretty nice. It smelled. And I don't want to say anything at the time, but it really did smell like a sewer. You're right. It was. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
One of the nurses was just like, hey, thank God we have to wear these covid masks.
So I was like, yeah, like you. You. So then I then there was a second time. Here, twice here, twice here, nurses had to put suppositories in and they put their fingers all the way up. Yes.
Yeah. Wow. So that really breaks down that hot stuff. I mean, breaks down the hot stuff.
And it also makes you go fuck these pain pills. I just want to show it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow. I mean, you've been through so much in the last two weeks and we're still I mean, thankfully, there's some light at the end of this tunnel now.
All his life. All his life. I just love to play ball.
That's what athletes that's what happened to athletes.
Anyway, we all these pros and I'm like I get it done. Yeah, we get it. I don't want to see the video of you falling, Lindsey tried to show it. The cool thing about the video, here's the cool thing. Have you seen it? We watched it, yes. Yeah. Yeah, a few times. It's really rare that somebody has video of himself getting hurt. What's more rare is that you have multiple angles. So what did you do?
My shit is like ESPN. Let's see it from this angle. How about this?
Is that weird for you? I mean, what does it feel like to. Yeah, it's kind of weird, but I also remember everything so so specifically that when I see it, I'm like, oh yeah. Like I remember, I remember. I remember every detail, you know.
So yeah, it's just it was just it was it's one thing I can just tell you is that it is a freak accident, you know.
Yes, most definitely.
And it wasn't from fucking Bart being good at basketball. It wasn't from him being good or bad.
I know that dude is trash. OK, well, I'm glad about that, Tom, um, but I'm glad that you're recovering and I miss you.
Something else, though. Yeah. Some shit on his basketball.
Yeah. Let me just tell you, though, yeah, I love I love that guy. He's the best guy. Yes. And when this all happened, I have to give the Krisha's the utmost credit the best and they're the best. So helpful.
I mean, Kurt and LeAnn are angels. I love them to death first. The best friend in the world. You're the best you're the best wife I could ever ask for. And you know, the.
Yeah, when you have something like this happen, you really. I mean, you appreciate a whole bunch of things, you know, like in your life, but like I'm so grateful to the medical medical community, like.
Those first responders, the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors, they're just they're unbelievable, they're such kind people. We were just talking about this yesterday that.
Yeah, and now the people oh my God, they're like angels. They're just amazing. I mean, these are people that just want to help you. People who go into nursing, into medicine and stuff. They're not like us where we just want to horrify people and especially you. You like to ruin people's day. That gives you the joy.
I'll give you a little I'll give you a little teaser about the injury, though. I, I told the surgeon I have it on video and he was like, what? You've got a video. And I tell them, you know what we were doing? I go, Yeah. So he comes to check on me one day in the hospital. I go, I got a little something for you, man.
And I show it to him and he goes, Oh. Because I never want to see that again. I'm sure you don't. I go, wait a minute, you're jumping at that. You you're a trauma surgeon is like, that's terrible. I don't want to see that.
I mean, have you showed people what your arm looks like right now? Have you put that on Instagram? You know, if I haven't I don't know if you want to read or what, it's just right now, you know, oh my God, you just did that right now. Right now. Right now. Yeah. See how the podcast keeps going. Hey, let's stop down, you know. That was amazing, Tommy. I am so proud of you right now.
That was so perfect.
I wish I could do this. Yeah, I'm going to have to wear a diaper, I guess. Well, I also yeah, but but but but I want to emphasize again. But I mean, I'll get into it more when I'm back doing two bears and the lives of. Absolute greatest. Lindsey, who works with us now. Absolutely. Just the greatest guy to help me so much. And I just I just really appreciate them and everybody here.
Thank you, guys. I mean, we've all been keeping studio jeans afloat job any Chris. Uh, Zolo, all these dudes.
It's just been a collective effort to keep the ship moving, but. Yeah.
Do you feel like do you feel like you guys are the bulls and Jordan has decided to go play baseball for like a season or something like.
But yeah, it was great to have the Krisha's over at the house the first night when things were going down because I was just out of my head, I couldn't even believe what had happened and I was not equipped emotionally. So thank God for those two men. Yeah. Um, but in them, I've had my own interesting developments, too. I had a recent dental tragedy, which we discussed earlier.
The funniest is the setting in which it happened in the hospital.
You mean it's just that, like, you're my wife, your husband's had this traumatic freak thing happen. You're just like, I'm coming to check on you.
You're spending time with me. You brought me out. Know something to eat or something.
And Sushi, we ordered it from the best. Yeah, yeah. Fucking L.A.. And I'm like, you know, I just had surgery. I'm going to a rehab center and you're just like, we'll get through this baby. Then you're like, it might just break. I'm like, what? And then and then I'd say, like, now you're finally like, oh. And then you're like, are you sure? And I see a black guy.
And I was like, Oh yeah, man, this week is really not so horrible.
I was really at my wit's end that day. I would say I was stretched to the max. I don't think there's anything more stressful than a tooth falling out of your head and your husband being in pieces.
And yeah, that was terrible and a mad that I didn't get to finish that lunch because I'll tell you what I did. Oh, my God.
That's those are the stitches. I can you can you show them the underbelly. Can you your arm if it doesn't hurt.
Yeah, guys, yeah, and this is recovered a little bit, I mean a little bit, this is a lot recovery.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty horrible.
I broke it on the 1st, December 1st, and we're recording this on the 14th. So it's two weeks.
Yeah. This month can't go by fast enough. But also, I had another interesting thing happen, just to lighten everybody's mood, I know so many of you listening were deeply engrossed in my Cream of wheat story and how I ate cream of wheat and then shortly had explosive diarrhea after.
And a lot of you thought that it was the fact that it was a warm bowl of cream of wheat.
This is an interesting story. Thank you. I mean, I know your story is cool, but I've got a good one, too, so please keep going. Yeah. Yeah.
So the other day, Joujou, he had a bowl of cream of wheat. He had he didn't finish it. It was cold. And I thought, oh, maybe it is the temperature.
Let me eat. Ah, ah ha, you had a breakthrough. Thought I had a scientific experimental breakthrough thought and I yeah. So I ate the cream of wheat cold and I thought, surely, surely this won't affect me. And then guess what, Tom? A half hour later, explosive diarrhea.
What is going on. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I mean, I guess cream of wheat just gives me diarrhea. So if I'm ever in the situation you are in, where I'm taking opiates for a week straight and I can't. Shit, give me a bowl. Cream, wheat. It's a good theory. You might you might want to try it. I actually, at one time during this whole ordeal, set it back and I was like, thank God this happened to me.
I was like, if this had happened to my wife. Or one of my kids. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, man, thank God it happened to me. Why would you be sad if if I was hurt? Well, yeah, but I also don't think that you would, you know. Handle it as well. What what part? I don't know what you're talking about, all of it. Yeah, well, can I say I can deal with a lot of pain?
OK, I've had two children come out of me.
I've been pregnant. I might break your fuckin arm when I get home and you tell me what hurts worse, OK? But I will say not not the front, the humorous. Yeah, yeah, I will say that the worst part, me as an outsider of this whole debacle for you, seriously, and I'm being 100 percent serious. The thing that gives me the most anxiety. Would be having to take a shit the way you did the other day and you couldn't get out of bed and there and the nurses were like, can you go in the bedpan?
I'm like, no, he hasn't shit the bed since he was two. You can't make an adult shit in their bed. It's so I mean, that part gives me.
Can I just like I go. No, just knowing where I was and which ride.
They put it in there and I was like, it's just not happening then. Horrible. That part gives me that.
I have the I have the double whammy because both unless the left I was I had this fucking guy at the hospital, a lot of people were great. This one guy was like. They had given me and I was like, I'm going to go. He's like, all right, cool. Like, here's the wipes and let me know. I was like, oh, no, no, no. Like, you're going to wipe me. And he was like, What?
And I go, I can't wipe myself.
And he was like, he looked at me as like I go, Yeah, dude, I don't have to like at the time I couldn't, like, lean, you know, like, how am I supposed to lean to the left and I, I couldn't reach underneath. I'm like, you know, I need you and you're a fucking nurse. So how about you help out me was like. All right. Begrudgingly, yeah, yeah, I guess so you and I gave him I gave him a nasty one, too.
That's the best part, I'm so happy to hear that. Well, you're in a lovely facility now and you look so much better than you did a week ago, even three days ago. Right? It down and shaking his head. Yeah. You've seen him this whole time.
You sound. You sound and look so good.
And I mean, I remember my biggest thought after hearing about this is, oh, I hope he's going to stop sending me videos of people dying.
And almost immediately.
Tom, you sent me quite a helicopter accident.
Well, I remember your reaction was like, you want this perhaps. I you said you go, can we please get out of this later? All right.
Which to which you responded. This isn't for the show. This is just for you, ma'am.
And then that made me feel good.
And then, yeah, I was like, it's not just what you see.
I remember just like distinctly I was like, hey, you know, there's blood mixed in this one, too. He's like, actually there isn't, because it's not the propeller blade that's hitting the guy's head. It's something else that's getting hit. Look, man, it's not the blade that's doing it. Like like that was supposed to ease me. Yeah.
Yeah. It was like I'm not showing you somebody's head getting cut off. It was just a high velocity impact that knocked a guy out of that dude's dead man.
Think that he is not dead. He's not dead. I have it on very reliable authority that he is find something at the speed of a helicopter blade, hit him in the head.
So we show this and we have it. Oh, I have to dig, dig, dig. I did it. You told me not to prep it.
So let me I just thought it was when I think about it, cool things like that. I send them to you.
Well, Tom, I mean, I think the audience a lot of emails have come in to the effect of the irony here, being that you are the most and you love violent videos and now this has happened. Has this changed level of violence in video?
The irony has completely been lost to me. I haven't thought about it much.
It was literally the first in the ambulance and I was like, oh, they're all going to be like, this is karma.
Yeah, now I know, I know.
And I by the way, I am I will never discourage people from mocking it, laughing at it.
And whatever you feel about it, I have zero feelings about, you know, restricting that, like, have fun with it. You know, some people won't even be able to tolerate it.
To be honest. I showed it to a trauma surgeon who was like, I can't watch that.
So, oh, I can. I've found the OK. OK, Lindsay tried to show it to me the night it happened. He was over at our house and I cry. I started crying.
I had to stop. That might have been a little poor timing on Lindsay's part. Yeah, I know.
He's like, do you want to see your husband get fucking almost killed? I'm like, no, that's cool, bro. OK, a little bit.
And then I stopped. Yeah. Is this the video? The helicopter video? Yes.
Oh, Christina, why don't you weigh in on if you think this guy is OK or not.
Sure he can you make it big. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to I'm blowing it up, Tom and. You tell me. Hmm. I know it's going to happen already. This guy is an area they're walking.
Oh, so it's funny because he's alive or well. First of all, the name of that video is he's fine. Now, the second thing is that you can tell that something looks like snow. You know, snow ice particles are what hit the blade and sent him down.
And I think he's 100 percent fine because I thought his head got hit by the propeller. That's what that's what I thought. Oh, yeah. Because because whenever they usually tell you to duck your head down when you're walking, no note that propeller head hit, you would see his head go flying off.
That would have been a better video.
Well, I mean, I think the most important takeaway from this video is that it makes Tom happy. So I think it's great that Tom could still laugh.
But, you know, it makes me happier. Are you going to go out with the king or not? Oh, my God. Are you going to actually. Are you going to go out or not?
I mean, man, can I tell you something, Tommy, for people listening time and I have been so and just enthralled with the king this whole week, literally every text, every morning I wake up and I go, good morning, my king above 18. And then Tom replies, Have you had your hot breakfast? Are you going to study for your midterms like we are now in the King's world? So smashed into it.
I really like you really are hydrating like a maniac. Are you OK? That's like the third beverage you finish. You did the blue drink, you had a purple straw drink. This is your third beverage. What are you drinking now? Water, wow, you really are the hydration champ on this episode, is that OK? Yeah, I'm just pointing it out. You really are thirsty today?
No, I tell you what I do all day. I love it. It's what I do all day. Good for you.
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Mom. OK, here's the king man.
Good evening, my kings and queens above eighteen. Oh, this video goes out to Christine from a lot of your followers. Wouldn't like you to order a shirt and wear a shirt and a hat and have a coffee mug on your show. Come on, Tim. Order some merchandise from me, go to my kings and queens above 18 at Gmail dot com. Believe me, what you want, what size of shirt and how many can go to my bed, Muhanad shirts are twenty five plus ten dollars, shipping and handling the half or 20 plus shipping and handling ten dollars.
And the bugs are 20 plus ten dollars, shipping and handling. They want to see Christine and one of them shirts. Yeah. You have a good day. My kings and queens above 18. I love you all.
Yeah. It's just simple. All you got to do is go to his personal email. And I got to say, I just got to say, as somebody in entertainment and also in a merchandising business, that's a wonderful marketing video.
That is like it's top of the line. Like you want to promote something the way to do it. Is in your big rig loud, it's got to be on with the engine fucking wailing.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Oh my God.
Yeah, that sounds great. And then. Plus, shipping and handling and the add of that and then the Venmo me, add me on Venmo. Send me the credit card type in the I mean, it's just all the info so much. Well, it's it is. So the process is not easy for somebody because, like, first of all, you have to email him personally at Gmail, dot com, whatever, and then specify what you want the sizes and then find him on Venmo.
Right. I don't have a fucking Venmo. I got to set up a Venmo account. It's like, bitch, I want the shirt.
But you're making it a little hard, not what size shirt do you want to type it in type that. Let me know. I didn't get the memo. Just go ahead and give me your credit card info. Sure.
So this talk is of the king and what what Tom and I think both really enjoy about this is the POV style to it where he's imagining imagining.
So close your eyes. If you're listening, imagine that you're laying in bed.
You've just had a wild night of lovemaking with the king and or just a great night's sleep, you know, just a great night's sleep.
And you're just opening your eyes and you see this.
Good morning. My queen is above 18. Come on, open Amyas up. I got your breakfast ready. Jesus, coffee's on. Breakfast is on. Delmon. You got to go to work. There you go. You are so beautiful. Thank you. I just love my queens above 18. You are gorgeous. Thanks, man. All right. I will see you downstairs. Oh, OK, downstairs and you get up and get yourself together and come on down.
I love you, my queen, above 18.
Thank you. I got to imagine that we just made so many panties wet across the room. I mean, look. I like that, I like that one better than the challenge videos, in a way. Yeah. When he challenges. Yeah.
Oh yes. Sorry guys. And then I got one of these. Yeah. Thanks. Thank you. And in a few. Yeah. Thank you so much. It's really nice of.
That was I think she definitely heard me say how you bunch of pennies are when they know you by now. You've been saying wild shit all week. Do they know what's up. Yeah.
Um but what I was saying is that I like that video because it shows a more tender side to the king and I like that he's he takes it a step further in the talk world like he's acting now. We get to see him at his best when he's that plant.
Poppy, one man that I mean, you could go to the Tisch School of the Arts in New York. That's right.
It would be like this is how you it because he's like.
It goes away and then it goes, what I do it to do what you interrupted me like a good morning, but said, Can you play now?
Yeah, it's on Tom's Instagram. That's the way you put the original one of him doing that.
And so the one where I did an impression, if you swipe is and at the 13th second mark, he goes, what? It's my favorite. Yeah, it's my favorite. Yeah, yeah, it's just time to wake up, Mom. Yes, you are my queen. What how did you sleep? That was good. It's amazing. That's because her mouth is bound in my hands.
About 18 won't look so beautiful today. You know, I wake up on the ground, take a shower. Get you a nice breakfast. Yeah, I got some coffee going for you. Oh, you look beautiful. King was you. Just drop up and I'll meet you downstairs. Have yourself a wonderful day. Good morning. Oh, my God. Yeah, but what he does gets me, it's the bed. Well, the reason he goes, what how did I sleep?
It's because she's bound and gagged and she's like. What do so many people were like, I've only listened to your podcast, and it's absolutely ruined this for me. You have to watch it, because that's what a woman that's tied to a radiator. Yeah, yeah. So I do like that better than. The disingenuous patch of like, hey, we're going to have some fun here, I want you to challenge this one challenge.
It's a challenge and I think you and I were discussing this yesterday in the hotel that it bothers us. It's funny because it's like it's not a direct thing. It's not he's not saying what he really wants, right?
Yes, I used to do. Yes, exactly. This. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, there's nothing I like more than big fucking tits. And I like when women show them to me, particularly in a t shirt with no bra if you're game and you want to show me your big tits. Yeah, I just sent a message and I don't care what you do if you want to dance or make it funny, make it sexy. The whole point is I'm trying to get off here.
Yeah. No, not under the guise of like, you know what, I love the dance competitions, you know, like.
And can you tap dance made me a video shot. No, I liked it. That's why I like Tensei and like the above.
Look, we understand that you're saying it's above 18. That's not what makes it creepy, even though 18 year olds are still technically teenagers.
So wait them there are they are nearly infants.
Yeah, 18 year old is so young. It is, it is, it is it's creepy because they're 18, like they're 1981, I want him to make like my my wish is that he goes, hey, I just scratched all that shit before.
I just want to be direct with you. I'm trying to fuck yeah, and and and my favorite thing are big tits. And I would really like you to send me some pictures of this.
And here's the thing. It's going to yield better, better results. I agree.
Not this whole thing of do you want some breakfast? Open your eyes, sweetie.
Like he pretending that he's your boyfriend and your husband is you're getting it's called the BFE the way the BFE. What? Yeah, it's the boyfriend experience. I know that's what this is.
Yes, of course. Wait a minute. Explain more. I don't understand he's playing the role of a boyfriend. He's that's what he's doing. Oh, and this is like a whole genre.
And then, like, if you're a woman watching this, you're like, God, I wish my boyfriend was.
And here's the thing. That's a perfect segue way into another video of his. I don't know if you have it cued up, but he would like to take somebody out on a date. Yeah.
This video of your mom's house. I watched the show. Thank you. I love the show. So when are you going to let me take you out? Let me show you a good time, treat you like a queen. With respect, oh, and have a good time, I would never disrespect you, my queen. Tom, you can trust me, I would never disrespect Chris the way you guys have a beautiful day. You know how to get a hold of me kings and queens above.
I know that Gmail dot com. How about if you guys go on my Web page and order a shirt? I would love for you to wear a shirt, Christine, I would love that order a shirt and a hat. Kings and queens above 18, I love you all, you guys have a good day, especially you, my queen. Christine, thank you. The king loves you. Thank you, King.
Is that a baby crying in the background? I thought I heard it. Here's the thing, King.
I would love to take you up on this date offer. Why don't you be more specific? I want to hear what we're going to do on our date where I think that's the queen.
I think that's reasonable. I also think just as a natural precaution, you might want to put it out till after the vaccines have been distributed.
I guess they're on their way. I don't think I don't think you should go. Let's rush this date and enduring this covid search. That's true.
Well, let's say this and yeah, covid Freeworld King. Let's say it's, you know, summer of twenty twenty one. Where will we go? Will you take me to the Olive Garden. I like the salad.
And and what if he's like, well the date begins in my shed and I got a bunch of cool ropes and I want to show you what I can do. You know, he's a gentleman. He won't do that.
No, I know. No, I think actually, I'll tell you this. Yeah. I think it would be very nice that. Yeah, he'd be sweet. I think he would too.
Yeah. I don't I don't think want he's a great actor.
Do you think when you have a good actor, do you think when you get a role in a movie that you will ask him for coaching. I actually think he would I think he might be able to play natural. I think so, too, like not act. I think he can do it. I think so. Yeah. And that's a skill set.
That's a skill set. So, Tom, I ask the audience to submit their amay, ask mommy's anything questions. Are you up for answering a few of these.
Yeah, I'll do a couple before I split. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just do a couple and then if you're up for it, some talks to. Sure, go ahead. OK, I'm excited, the first question is, how did you two find out you were so collectively fucked up? Crazy man. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say, yeah, when we saw Grizzly Man in theater and.
In the theater, we saw it and there was a we've told the story before, but the guy what does his name, Timothy Treadwell.
Where on earth is it? Yeah, well, Werner Herzog made the documentary. When Tredwell would go, he'd get dropped off in Alaska to live with bears for like seasons like an entire season. And he got to know the bear. So it's a fantastic documentary. But there's this one scene where they. Timothy is already dead, obviously, when they make it. And they're playing all this footage and they talk to a helicopter pilot, I think. Yeah, you said he's like, yeah, he asked me to drop him off in this reserve that is just full of bears.
And we're in the theater. It's a you know, there's a serious tone to the documentary. And the guy goes, I mean, I told him, I go, well, that's just that's bear country. And he's like, yeah, that's where I want you to drop me off and the guy goes, I mean, I thought he was retarded and you and I laughed so hard together and nobody else.
And that's what I was like. You special person.
Special lady. Yeah. And I went we didn't we go see that movie, something like Blue Water. And it was like shark attack where people die. And I think you and I were laughing out loud at that one too. And people were getting eaten.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we started to laugh at, like, the same wrong stuff, I was like, this is what you look for in a partner.
For sure. For sure. I think Tom and I have a real shared love of stuff that sucks. Like we we we acknowledge what sucks. Similarly, if that makes sense. Simular similarly. Yes. Yes.
OK, how about this one? What was the biggest obstacle or hardest time in Wyoming. His lifetime. I think we're kind of in it now, this is definitely one of the. This is one of them, I mean, I'll tell you then, it's hard when Red Band was producing the show for us to take it over yourself. It's a it's a little overwhelming because I realized that, like, I felt like the tech was on me and I didn't have that background.
So I was like, I hope we can pull this off. Yeah, I mean, by the soundboard and like do the recordings. And then I was like, you know, that felt like an obstacle. And every time we've moved, you always feel that kind of weight as well.
That's tough. I think one of the harder times for me performing on the show during hard times, um, you know, like my mom died in twenty fifteen and now that's hard to wear.
Like you have personal stuff going on much like my you right now when my dad got sick. Yeah. That was, that was tough. Yeah. We didn't even talk about that on the show but that, that was definitely tough. And, and then my career was, it was really tough to every time we do something outside of that, like I'm going on tour to Europe or yeah. I'm shooting a movie in Atlanta, you start to go like like you start preplanning, like all the the books show, like the banked episodes.
That's always a struggle, too. Yeah.
But we've always made this show a priority. That's true.
We have I mean, barring like. Medical, I mean, even look in the midst of a medical drama, we still find a way to do the show. Yeah, it's always been a priority. I remember one time I was working on a TBS show and I had to live in a hotel for like a month and a half. And you brought the soundboard over to our hotel room. And we recorded William Image from my hotel room. And I was working 12 hour days on the show and we would still find time to do Y image.
The show's always been our priority.
We've never done the thing where you go, well, like we're going to do this thing for a few weeks listening to the show, we get back.
No, never. We've always covered our asses on the show front and been consistent. Definitely.
Christina, when we eat Tom Scrum. I mean, this teaches you that life is so fragile, going to do it as soon as you get out of here.
Yeah. And this is an interesting one. Please explain the genes. I mean, the jeans, is everything right? Do we have that clip from.
Yeah, let's let's show sort of like asking what's the purpose of life, right? Yeah, we actually have a sizzle package.
How do you explain it entirely. What is the force is like. That's like what dress. Jane, Jane, I need someone explain to me that what's with the genes or your genes and genes?
What's up, Gene? Massaging baby genes, big genes, wrapping things up, genes is what the show is based on. Genes is like the promise of Star Wars. It's the force. We're living in an apartment. It's like you're leaving for the day. I feel like I'm leaving. I'll be back later on. That evolved into mommy genes and then that evolved into dropping mommy and just saying, Gene, how tight are your genes?
And then it became like, do you live a high and tight lifestyle? So we started to say basically that that person's got it going like that.
That guy is living life the right way when you do something stupid or embarrassing is because your genes are low.
And is there any medical risk to where your genes too high and tight? Yeah, exactly. I keep I try to keep your genes high and tight.
I get a grinding ice coffee high and tight with soy milk. Unsweetened, please. Thank you. It's all right. Thanks. Genes.
We are in studio Gene right at the studio. Jean. Jean.
Jean. Ching ching ching ching ching. To you. Yes, yes. Yes. Studio. Jane. Yes.
Do you even wear denim anymore? That was awesome. It was great just during that right there, another one. Oh, my God. Pisspot episode to tells me that's a lot of past. What if that pisspot guy reaches out? He's like, this is my fucking.
Tom, I actually think that the camera missed it. Can you show us again what you detected during that? Sure. So proud of himself.
Uh. Wow, good job, buddy. Thanks, we got it. It's very light colored, that means you're hydrating a lot. Yeah, can I show you some talks I would love to. Yeah, let's jump to talks. I want to see.
Yeah. Yeah, OK, good. Yeah I want to see some. I missed the talks. I know the talks you sent me. You sent me a personal batch the other day that you had a couple that had me in tears.
Good talks or life. You guys OK? This one I have to say, really captured my heart and my imagination. Go ahead and just let it roll.
Hello, my name is Steven Short and I enjoy getting along with people. My cell phone number is Erico. Thank you very much. Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you out of your fucking mind? This guy is so out of his mind to put his phone number on on the Web.
I mean, we thought it out, but that Tick-Tock is a Meet People app, like tell me, because I. I enjoy getting along with people.
Here's my father. That is fantastic.
Oh, you can taste that. You could tell he's a sweet guy. He's a sweet guy. You could totally tell that guy's a sweet guy. He has no idea what chick talk is for. And he literally was like, I, I like people. Here's my phone number.
There's no way that dude's phone number even works anymore.
No, it's me destroyed. Yeah. I mean, I took mercy on him and I did not put it in my my stories on the gram just because there you just edited it to right there.
I noticed that. Yeah. Of course. Because I didn't want to I mean I wanted to protect that individual. I felt so bad for him.
Yeah. I mean that is it's he he needed protection the day he goes.
It's over now, over and over. I mean, look, if you put in your phone number on the web, you've got some some screws loose. Right.
I mean, PC doing his super fucked. Twenty three ninety five apartment to see Waggner house.
I mean that was like that that's he was like come over here and beat the shit out. He did that for years.
Crazy. But apparently it's no biggie because that guy's been putting his address out Robert Paul champagne for years and piss on me, beat me and he's been fine. So, gosh, I don't know. OK, which one. This one. This one's for you, Tom.
I've come here and that's where I was. I was closer to my tarloff. Better let me out of the.
Last night, as these photos put our my came in and the Border Patrol at almost all my Talavera going to federal court alone and Potami, what is he saying?
He said, we're going to find these people have fucked them up. Whoever did this, like I don't know what they did in the he's not really showing, but he keeps saying we're going to find these sons of bitches, these dog pieces of shit, we're going to rip them apart and we're going to fuck them up.
I'm pretty sure that was a cartel talk. Yeah, sure felt like it. Yeah, I've been finding these drug cartel talks lately, it's a whole new lane for me. It's been pretty wild and I, I hope I ask you to translate a lot of them because I understand what's going on. That was pretty cool. OK, so not huge, burgeoning tech talk late is in the prison talk world, I mean, I have added so many new prison talk accounts and I'm sure the authorities are not happy about this because the prisoners are not supposed to be making talks.
And most of them, frankly, are kind of boring. I don't think these guys know yet what a good talk is. So when you find a good one, it's pretty rare. So go ahead.
Just so you customize your presence here, check it out. Check it out. Guy who made it that I will go. Plus, the eyes were good. Yes, I would like to be able to.
So this gentleman, it looks like he's incorporated White and Kalki into his uniform, which is just so I mean, he's got style.
That's that's expressing yourself as flavor. Yeah. I mean, yeah. He sounds like you got a little white folks in too.
Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was pretty creative. It's good that when a thug can so. I Hutto's man is another prison talk, this gentlemens rigged up his whole kitchen system here. He's boiling his coffee in his toilet. Unreal. Isn't that amazing?
It's unreal when they do this shit. Yeah. Amazing human beings are like even I'll tell you, like even myself in the last two weeks, you find how adaptable you are willing to do things and you know, the way that you, you know, figured out a way that I need to sit up and stand and how I need to do just any number of things.
And you realize that, like, these guys are in a confined space, limited resources, and you just find a way. Oh, yeah.
He had a bag of Folgers boiling. It looked like his sink toilet. He took the trash bin, put the water in that, put the Folger's bag in and then somehow got a wire. The can you show it again? I'm curious to see the apparatus. How did he how does he not electrocute himself? And then there it is. It's in the sink. And then there's some kind of wire going up to the light fixture. And that's the electrical source.
I mean, it's just so crazy. Amazing. Yeah, amazing.
That was a good one. And he's making ramen later, too. I see the ramen noodles down there. Well, I'm so glad we got to watch some talks together.
I feel like that was great. I feel like the family's all together again. Yeah. All right. To get back there.
I know we miss you so much jeans. And I'm just so happy to see you, even if it's just on Zoome and I hope you have a great day. Have your breakfast, do great on your midterms and stay well. My King above eighteen. Thank you.
I was just fun to do this with you guys. Hope you guys are well. Thank everybody for I got literally, you know, thousands of messages of people from people wishing me well. So I appreciate that from all the fans that listen and support and yeah. I can't wait to get back. Love you guys and I'll see you.
See you gorgeous. Bye bye, guys.
See you later to see you, buddy.
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Restrictions apply see website for full details and important safety information. Remember that for himself. Call Mom. Oh, that was so good to talk to Tommy, wasn't it? It feels like we're all together again. Even though he's in his little rehab motel and pissing in jugs as he's talking to us, it's nice to see him and how proficient he was. I didn't even know that he was pissing and talking to us. Did you notice that?
I did not know he was really able to keep it on the DL. I know this is baby Joshel. I'm sure you guys know who he is, but not why are you like you're twenty one now which is twenty one. Yeah. You're so cute. What you're reborn.
1999 wild and so funny. Oh my God.
Anyways I'm glad you're here.
It's just like I was a fully formed person.
I want to talk about my jet ski effect, the wonderful Rob Ilar coin that the jet ski effect where you realize you're doing something wrong or just neglected to do something for so many years and then you're like, oh my God, I can do this like a regular person.
I talk about these on where my mom's at a lot.
So, OK, I like everybody in the wintertime. My legs get very dry and very ashy, like I get like leg dandruff. I'm so gross. Like I get out of shower, barely wipe myself down, as you guys know.
But the other day I got out of the shower and I was like, oh my God, I can put lotion on my skin. Yeah.
So that my oh my gosh, my legs don't get white and flaky. Mm.
And it was like, like I fucking I can't believe it took 44 years for me to realize I can put lotion on my legs, not just on my face.
Yeah. Yeah. So stupid. And like I know girls do that so.
Yeah. Yeah I had a similar one. He said face shitting I. Often neglect skin care. Yeah, and recently I just kind of discovered, like facial moisturizer, I realize especially like this time of year, yet out of the shower and my face would be super dry and like, kind of painful.
And I'm like, oh, I can just put like a little a little bit of that on there. And we're all set. Yeah. Life changing, my life changing.
And especially with boys, I feel as though nobody educates boys on hey, wash your face like. Did anyone tell you that, that there are products for facial cleansing?
Not really. I mean, I think like, we're all kind of ashamed of it a little bit. Why is that?
It's gay. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. That you're it's it's okay to wash your face. Oh yeah.
And these guys that are using like face masks and stuff that don't even get me started, I don't like it either.
And can I tell you, it annoys me as a woman where I get on the ground and then I see these girls like I'm wearing a face mask. I'm so ugly right now. I know you're not. You're just wearing a face mask. Fucking relax.
Yeah, it's it's obnoxious. It really is. Yeah. I don't know why people like to capture it so much. I don't feel like everyone feels like, OK, I got my face mask on, I need to do an Instagram post with it. No.
Yeah I don't like it. I don't like it either. But I do agree with you that a man doing a face mask, especially if it's like a colored one, like a green or blue, it's queer as fuck. And I'm not I'm not having it. Yeah. Yeah. Like if Tom started to do that, I would seriously question if he was blowing guys the parking lot.
Uh, what about you, Nadav? You mentioned you had a Pilatzke effect.
Yeah, I realized when you ask me what I did this weekend, I was like, you know, I just kind of like passed out and didn't like I did absolutely nothing. But, um, yeah, I was over here.
But then I realized I had a jet ski effect whenever something in my apartment breaks that's bigger than can fit in a trash can. I'm optimistic that I'll be able to fix it later. OK, so I just set it aside and I put it somewhere. And then I've accumulated now like one like one or two gaming chairs, like a gaming chair.
With that, it's just it's just a chair that looks like it belongs in a race car. But it's real. It's real stupid. But like, I broke it, like I got the cheapest one I could get and it broke immediately.
I'm like, no, no, no. It just needs new wheels or something.
I'll just put it aside till I get new wheels and then you never go back to doing. And I accumulate like a couple of those different things, like I have a broken imag that's been broken for three weeks, like three years just on my desk.
Yeah. So this weekend I was just like, wait a second. Yeah. I could just throw this shit out. I know. I'm Christina.
I have so much room in my apartment because you threw shit out because I threw out things that are broken that I'll never use again. Yeah. Like, oh that's what, that's what happened. Space like I was literally to get to my kitchen. Christina Yeah.
I'd have to like, hi, step over something.
Oh you were, you were getting into like. Oh yeah. Already.
Yeah I was going into party territory but now I'm just like oh yeah.
I could just throw out you because I think that is a level of hoarding when you have to make pathways they call it, or where you have to, um, walk to walk around certain objects that that is considered.
Man, I feel like I'm giving away where we need to cut out so much shit about.
You know, this was a fantastic episode. I here's a great format.
Um, yeah. Because Tom made me realize that I can throw things away as well. My mother trained me to hold on to everything growing up. Same here. Yeah, I really struggle with that.
Yeah. It's so hard. I have so much useless shit that's broken or there's just no reason to keep. Yeah. I'll just put it in the closet or something like. Totally.
Yeah. Donate it rather donate. It's hard for me dude. The worst incident is when my I grew up on a couch about this size, one of the couches we had and it was different colored patches of velour. It was like a very late 70s, 80s couch.
And my mother, it was like her pride and joy and she would cover it with a sheet you had in the summertime. Actually, always. I never actually sat on the fabric. Right. You have to cover everything. You save it use. And she would tell me I'm saving it for when you go to college. And I'm like, this is fucking crazy. And I never laid on furniture. And I would lay on the sheets all the time.
And then by the time I went to college, she'd kept the couch in the garage and the garage flooded and it ruined the couch.
And I remember at the time being like, yeah, that you can't keep a couch for like 25 years and you don't do that with furniture anymore. Maybe back in the olden days, you know, you had stuff handmade and you could pass things down.
But not now, not. What's the point? Yeah.
Point like using the couch for that whole time. Why is it covered? Because you're going to use it in the future. You're using it now. Use it. Just use it now.
But here's the sad part is that when I started dating Tom. I would cover my couch with I covered it with blankets, not the sheets, and he come over and he's like, why is this covered in blankets?
I like because you have to save your couch for another day. And he's like, no, dude, you can just use the couch.
Yeah, I think, Tom, for showing me how to live like a human being and not like a gun.
Yeah, that's an important life lesson in our couch.
Just fucking use all of your stuff, all your stuff. Who cares if it gets fucked up by anyone I know? Just buy a new one.
Are like shoes, nice shoes or nice things that I own. I'm like, I can't wear that today. Like, well, yeah you can because when you get to fucking wear it yeah. You may as well just do it totally. All right.
Let's do some more tocks. I've got so many in the bank and Zolo thankful I'm so thankful to you because you're the one that gets all these videos and you saw everything. Oh, there's so many good people out. OK, let's get to it. I open up the bond or kick out the hay with the girls. When you say, hey there, everybody have a happy things of that bond market cafe with a girl from USA.
Why are you shaking your head? Madoff dude, what the fuck?
What song are we learning? Well, as long as I remember this is a little kid. Open the barnyard, kick out the hay. Used to sing this on the schoolyard.
That must be one schoolyard see school. We did not do this at sea school or Catholic school. Yeah. I mean it's a nice rhyme. You don't like music, you know, like joy. I could do with that music.
Right with it.
Have you heard the song before? I haven't. I think it might be a little before my time. Or maybe it's, uh. Wouldn't it. I was alluding to two also of the Jewish faith.
Jews don't sing any. I've heard that song before you grew up. And so. So, Cal.
No, we didn't sing that either. We sang we sang The Star-Spangled Banner. I said it a lot different than people say. What do you say? Do they even say no?
I used to do the I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States, uh, to pay for it is you know, you see the whole thing.
I like that at school. You did it like that. All fun. Yeah. I mean, you know, because we didn't want to so they needed to find a way to make it fun so we would do it. And, you know, that is so cool. I don't think they make kids do the Pledge Allegiance. Pledge of Allegiance. Oh my God.
I've been saying it pledge allegiance my whole life until the Pledge of Allegiance. It's Pledge of Allegiance.
No, no, I don't think you've never made a pledge allegiance. Say I pledge allegiance to the flag.
Michael Jackson is a fag. Pepsi Cola burned him up. Now he's drinking Seven-Up.
Yeah. Have you heard that one? That's not the Jasco version. You you never heard that one? No, but I like it.
How about another tick tock? Skylar. Do you know your donor like it's your friend or something? How does this happen?
Well, I'm glad you asked, so that's really misleading. I know the name is. I actually didn't know my donor beforehand. He and I met through a donor and recipient website, and we matched he works exclusively with LGBTQ families.
And obviously that is very important to me as somebody who is in a same sex relationship and also as transgender. So we got to know each other and like, set our boundaries and I got to know all about US history. And it matched really perfectly what I want.
So that's kind of what a known donor is. And while I know who my donor is, it's not a secret. He will not be on the brink of disaster.
The father of my child stole my child. So, yeah, that's kind of what a known donor is.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.
Oh, my God. I mean, they're my least favorite. Yeah, I hate them. Yeah. And it's not the content. Sure, it's more about the like the the way in which they presented it. It's so condescending.
I love how fired up you are in this one. Really gets to me now. I'm so glad you asked me why. And it's like, no, you're not like, why are you doing this? Yeah, I agree.
It has a tone of arrogance. Like, thank you for asking. Well, let me tell you my whole fucking bullshit.
Like, yeah, yeah. It's a yeah it is condescending. Pretty country. Yeah. Contis the good word. I agree.
And also to I think they love to throw terms around so that you feel kind of stupid, you know what I mean. Like for instance she's sorry they say. I'm in a same sex relationship and I'm also transgender like, wait a minute, dude. Yeah, OK, hold on. Like, I'm fucking thoroughly confused.
Well, you got to go back into her catalog, to their catalog, their catalog, and to get the whole back story on how all that because they cover it.
And yeah, you go way back, they answer all your questions.
I think this person is just it's like annoying. It's just like one of those people that remember when like, yeah, it's like anybody that starts a new diet like Veck or veganism. And then they have to tell you every every area and quadrant of their thing.
Yeah. Neung. Yeah, I hate it. Fucking fucker. OK, going with them. That's all they. I love that one. Yeah, so this is a whole new lane and takes our crack people, people and crack addicts crack. Yeah, I thought it was alcohol. Oh, could be. I don't know. But you're just really drunk. Could be, absolutely.
Uh, but I just thought that was a nice little cautionary tale, you know. Yeah. She looks a little too loose trying to be on the map.
Yeah. Yeah. You guys are right here. That's pretty rad.
But I see you do have a whole bunch of ones and that theme coming up. Cool. Let's see.
I'm with some police officers. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool. Yeah. No, they think that I'm I'm quote unquote under the influence because I just bored. I just know what to say. I don't care. So yes. Fuck police officer.
Yeah. I'm just boult. She's the cool.
She's the best dude. Yeah. So this girl actually is a carbon copy of what. This is the attitude towards everything. She's like, fuck you, I'm not fucked.
This is just what I'm like, wow. That's why don't see yourself in her at all. I mean I did think she was hot.
So I guess that is a bold claim.
And Chris agrees. And we all know that he's the cop.
You're saying that she has any vibes? Yeah, but I don't think he's confrontational. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I don't think any would be as, like, forthright with. No, I think he would be more like, well, fuck you and keep it to himself.
So now that you hear the comparison, yeah. Maybe let's watch it again and. Sure, sure, sure.
In it, as I'm with some police officers, it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Yeah. No, they think that I'm I'm quote unquote under the influence because I'm just bored. I just know what to say. I don't care. So yes. Fuck police officer.
No. And he's not that crazy.
You hope that doesn't sound like any, any. He's got confidence. This chick is delusional. I'm starting to see it more. I didn't see any on his stories doing this.
To be fair, I do have a video on my Instagram when he was trying to pull me over, but I stole my own motorcycle. I guess I do have.
I wasn't flipping him off, but I was being a jackass.
Do you have the video? Can we see it? You can. You can see it. It's kind of hard to hear, but it's all my.
Let's go get it. Let's see any being a fucking crystal meth addict. But she she's wilding out because she's she's high as fuck.
She's friends. I think she is under the and she's like, I think what I think they're right there. This whole thing when people do like the hand flip to what and what.
Yeah. Like that is so crazy talk. Yeah. Let's see what he is. That's Lenny Kravitz. You're in auto.
Correct. Hold on. I know what I'm doing here. Guys are no dummies googling looking for shit. How does it go. So hurry up and find that shit you fucking do.
I think it might be this one, right. No way. So I set this up again. Any Holon. What happened here? So basically, I was I was riding my motorcycle in sandals and so I stopped because why the fuck not so and so?
Yeah, because whatever I know I'm not going to crash. It's not a big deal.
So I went to I parked in a target and, uh, they stopped me in the parking spot and in the duke.
And I say, hey, it's a little weird that you're wearing sandals on a bike that's a little unsafe.
And I was like, yeah, I mean, I ride all the time. It's not a big deal. It's like, yeah, it's just a little odd, you know, that your, uh, your helmet doesn't match your bike either, huh. That's weird. You think I could see somebody and then it just it went down from there because I was like, no, you can't. Why?
I was I was doing one of those because I mean, to be fair, he had no reason. Yeah. He was trying to say that I was stealing my motorcycle. Boy, I kind of took it as a joke.
And you can't really hear what what I say. But but the the vibes. And who was the one who was recording this?
This is a girl that her name's Gena and, uh, she's a friend. She's a she's a she's a friend now. All right. But she was a random girl at the time.
She was just gonna look at these arms.
Yeah, the arms are upset. He's upset, but there's no audio. We can't hear.
You can hear. It's a little difficult to hear what I'm saying. I don't think that's appropriate for anything he said. He said he said, like I just explained to you, because I said, I'm going to go into Target.
And that's when she started recording. Good. So he said, hey, man, I don't know, uh, I don't know what you're talking about, about feeling like you're targeted. I'm not doing on my show and they're not about I said I'm going to target. Uh, I was and I didn't steal this bike.
This is my bike. So I'm going to go into Target now. Is that cool? And he was like, oh, yeah, have a nice day.
No, but it's he started out a lot more aggressive than that.
But soon as the camera flipped, he was just like Mr. Nice Guy.
Well, I'm glad the camera was there to change his fuckin tone with you.
Yeah, it was, uh, it was, uh, it wasn't a big deal.
I think I acted the way she acted as soon as I had a camera on, because then I knew this was all being recorded. So you were safe? Yeah, I had I had a sense of safety before.
Before that. Yeah.
It was like I mean, what if they shoot me and no one sees, you know what I mean. Oh my gosh. As soon as, uh. As soon as the camera went on. Yeah.
It was just like as far as I know she was really confrontational.
Now I don't know is equivalent but others making again. All right. Well, Annie, I'm glad you didn't get arrested, and I'm glad that you got someone to video it for you.
That's a good safeguard, my gosh. All right, a couple more talks to have lunch. So your question to ask you how you think I should be as a stand up comedian. Oh, boy, you take. I can make. What do you think? Absolutely, yeah, he's got the presidential he's got the material, he's got. Oh, yeah. All right. Next. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
What the fuck is that, another turteltaub? It's definitely a Latin American talk show goes wild in Latin America, dude.
So for those of you just listening, there's a truck in the ocean, I think, and they're getting it out.
I'm telling you, some of these talks that I've been curating now, I wonder if I should just hand them to the police, because there's a lot of shit like there are like cockfights that I found.
I saw you post that. Yes. Disturbing.
Really disturbing. And there's those when I saw where they even showed them putting like the nails into the chickens, I'm like, I can't even post that.
There was one you sent me that I didn't prep for the show.
Maybe it'll be on a future life, but I think it was the aftermath of a prison stabbing.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think like a CEO got stabbed in one of the, like, inmates. Oh, I put this on the talk. Yes, I remember.
Jesus Christ. Yeah. That was a recent one. Yeah. Yeah. These prison talks are getting way worse. Aw they're getting dark. Yeah.
Yeah it's pretty good. Yeah. We'll see that for live show. OK, this guy's interesting.
Good morning Tic-Tac. How ya doing. All right. Hey man. How are you. How are you. Get over. Break up. You know, I used to go back back there. I know I got good grades and good and keep going back to your church career.
You guys have any advice for him, how to get over a breakup? That's the only thing I heard. Everything else was I'm not sure what language that was. And he got right here. Everybody I remember.
How does your how does your face I understand that age is unkind, but how does your face morph into a Muppet like he literally, you know, man, the Muppets have like just a slit and then you're like, wow, it's wild.
It's the like, yeah, I was going to say anything that has something to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't do it when you're old guns.
To be honest I just want want want long. Yeah. Guns and then the nose is from alcoholism I'm guessing. What. Yeah. How's the nose from alcohol.
Your nose gets bigger and better get red ready and loaded.
Are you drunk. Knows. Yeah. Got a big old János if you drink too much. Yeah.
If you do anything that you're about to see you might be a method. Window watching. Five hours later, still looking at the people. Looking for a piece of rock that you dropped two weeks ago. Sunglasses inside. Where a headlamp, because I know there was a car, remember the white Tahoe, it's outside.
I told you I do you about the one we seen at home in Mississippi. Dude, we're in Florida.
Yeah, I just thought that was informative. I mean, doing math sounds terrible.
Very informative. And I see a lot of parallels between our friend Cornell. And he even pointed out the white chariot, you know.
That's right. You're right.
The cars being that and the paranoia. Yeah, but the cars specifically. Mm hmm. Yeah, but doing meth just looks horrible, like what's the party in it? Because now we have to know we've discussed this before.
OK, this one I thought was really neat till hey guys, here's the snuggle up.
Can't promise you was my wife's snuggle up to you man in honor of her Uncle John was a police officer. So yeah. If you're blue last night, he does the snuggle up for you. A maid of honor. I got one. I found the shirt dude in the dollar stores. Really.
Oh. And Coocoo prospered. So yeah. These were some of the already made before I started filming. Sorry about that from the making of that. But why didn't you on the making of it right next of.
God damn it. Everyone wants to see the making of the snow globe. Yeah. Is it just me or does he sound like out of breath. Like where did he just run from.
I know he's like a snow globe. I think he's just fat that he sounds fat.
Fat people sometimes have fat voices. You can tell just by listening.
And also a cool detail. Blue lives matter. Snow globe. Oh is that right. Oh yeah. That's what you like. Neil Thompson here. If you're a Blue Lives Matter supporter.
Oh thanks man. You really know your clientele. Yeah, that's so rad.
Uh, I have to say though, I thought at first these were jars full of urine and then he just put toys in them because they don't look like snow globes. You really don't. They just look like filthy jars both ways.
I mean, that's what they are. That is what they are. And some glitter makes in.
He's got to put this he's got to put this on Etsy. He can make a killing.
I swear I would buy these from him just to bring, you know, give him some income. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Oh, next one. Very nice. Yeah.
So somebody hit my car and they road. I'm sorry for hitting your car. It was an accident. I don't have money or insurance. Well, here is snack. Sorry, I love me. Some rich fits some Cheetos. Those are hard to hit. Oh there you go.
Bagehot Cheetos and cigarettes. Does that cover that you think you guys probably not know.
But still nice gesture. Better than just driving off. Like at least you got something out. All right. Why even write the note?
And that saw we with WS and it's even more insulting than just not doing anything. What a cunt I feel like in country. Yeah, it's a Shipperd move.
Just fucking do nothing really bitch. Yeah.
Them being like Sabawi and then putting a part is bad like I get that. Yeah. Just leave the smack. You don't need like the country note I guess.
Yeah. Right. Go ahead and even picture your boobs. Being nicer though will challenge.
OK, what was this one now. Oh this one's, this guy's fucking rad. This is another drug one.
Something you don't know. What the fuck is this gangsta. LOL they know I love that one too.
Yeah. Well let's just talk.
You sure she doesn't seem scared at all. She's like what are you doing.
I would be shitting myself if it came up to be like that.
I know you're so right. Like she's like oh Jim you and your shenanigans can play it again. You're right, because she's way too calm. You don't know what the fuck this gangsta lording over them.
What the fuck are you doing over there? It sounds like an annoyed big sister talking to her little brother, like over there. What do you do?
Yeah, but it's terrifying, like fully tattooed man.
It's got to be her dad or her uncle or. Yeah, you're right.
There's a family there's some familial shit going down because I think that is how you talk to someone here, like, oh, god, he's high. God damn it, Dad. Yeah, yeah. He's fucking shit up. He's throwing things. What kind of store are they in? I feel like it's a medical supply or something weird.
No, I don't know what it's like in the world market or something.
Yeah. Also, if you were wondering what family they were part of, I think Delia Flores say he's probably talking to Marguerita right now.
His mom is 13, only 14 St. Odelay homes, my blood bag, where I was an accessory.
It is not a real blood bag. Please do not think that it is.
Well, it's not the whole point of wearing a blood bath. Yes. So people think you're cool and you're wearing blood around your neck, dummy.
You could wear something else maybe. Yeah. If you're going to do it, do it. Do it.
I say collect your menstrual blood and put it in your blood bag when I just do real blood. Yeah. No, any.
Would you date a girl that had a blood bag around her neck and be honest, be honest as they answer yes to this, you know, because something about a girl crazy enough to wear a blood bag around her neck, I feel like you of all people would be intrigued and be like that chick's wild like that. She's going to do crazy shit.
I see where you're going with this. But I stop at the gross stuff, though. And where you got that blood, I don't know where to put it, but it's fake blood.
Fake blood. Yeah, but then that means you fake and boring fake willingness, at least like like Xolo said, if you're going to do it, do it.
You know, I still I ran into that, but you know you want it.
OK, OK. But she's your dream girl. She's like wife material and she's like, listen, I love you. I blow you like five times a day. I do all the shit you want sexually, but I have to wear this blood bag around my neck when I meet your mom. Easy peasy.
I would wear the blood, but I'd wear another Bloomburg with it. We can we can we imagine once. No problem. She's the best.
Yeah. So that wouldn't be a deal breaker. The blood bag. No, it's just blood.
That's not a big deal. We got her by a little blood.
That's like this seems like a complete 180. You were so against it a couple of minutes ago. Now you're you open your eyes. Suddenly she became super hot.
I mean, what am I that you noted?
Nasab super hot. I mean, she's a perfect. She's perfect. No, in the blood bag.
OK, what? Because this is exactly like this is what I know what this is leading into. Sure. And no, I think if she's showing signs of stuff that I can understand, like if it's I need X to get off and I can't get my head around X at all, that's weird. I don't want I don't want to get into it.
I don't think this is a sexual thing. It's not sexual. This is aesthetic. Yeah. Oh. So she just needs this to not get hard. She just needs this.
She just likes it but feel nice. Yeah.
She's a fashionista and she's like, I'm going to start wearing blood bags. Everyone else is going to do it. Are you on board. Are you going to be square. And let me wear my blood.
I'm going to be a square in 2021 and get off this fashion trend.
Well, you don't need to participate in the fashion. You just need to bang her every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Hard pass.
And you still put she you're not even involved in the blood bag.
Like she just she puts it on involved in the blood bag because I'm being asked about it. So there is some sort of involvement and if I'm OK with it, I mean the answer's no. And I feel like you guys are trying to pressure me, force me into a corner.
But your standards are unreasonable. You're going to die alone because everybody has something here. OK, here's what OK, we're having a different conversation, but that's not what we're talking about. We're not talking about this blood bag thing. We're talking about the what are we talking about? We're talking about this fetish conversation that we had off camera couple days ago.
OK, so bring everybody in on the discussion. So the the argument was, if the if a girl that is the girl of your dreams. Yes. Said, Hey, before we get into it, I need you to squash a bug with your bare play.
This is because we had a video of someone with a fetish for bug squashing. Right. OK, and everyone around me, his answer was like, yeah, no problem, I'll kill that bug with my bare foot. And I was the only one that was like, no, that's a deal breaker. I'm not going to be with this. Like, that's the last time I'm going to hang out.
Does person and you guys called me ah, where did you guys call for it?
And you called me all the words, your R word, it f word and your total efg. Yes.
A total FTT is what you guys called me. Yeah, of course.
I don't want to kill animals. I'm sure your dream girl. She's your dream girl. She's not my dream girl doesn't want me to kill animals before we do stuff.
But sexuality sometimes is weird and it's like you're wiring. Do it. It's not about and yeah. You're kink shaming. Exactly.
Zolt might be I guess I'm not like as hip as these GenZE years out here, but you're so unin clues. But here's the thing. What. Finding out about this squish fetish on date one, no, dude, she's your dream girl. So this is like on my wedding night. That's when, you know, you're my finding. OK, OK, listen, listen, you're three months in. You said the I love you. She sex is great.
She's like, you know what, babe? I mean, she's great. She's everything you want wanted and she's in bed with you one night and she's like a job. I love you so much, guys. You're just so amazing. But I have to tell you, our sex life is amazing, but I want to take it to the next level. I want you to step on these bugs for me. And if you do that, Nadav, our sex life is going to be in a twenty.
It's a ten. I wanted at twenty. And you're going to. What do you say?
I'll be like ten out of ten. Was working great for me. Oh, my God. You're going to turn another ten. Was working great for me. Pack your bags. I want you all. This is going to be the last time we talk.
You're insane. You guys are the weird ones. Wow, you guys are being the weird ones. I can't believe that you would throw out the woman, the woman of your dreams because of a sexual kink, because she's hiding this crazy thing that she likes to kill animals.
It is crazy. She likes to kill animals to get off.
And I want no part of it. She doesn't kill them. You kill them. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, I'm still out, guys.
But bugs are not like yes, they're animals, but they're not like domestic animals. Like people don't people do have like pet roaches, but those people have mental problems. It's not the same thing.
Oh, but this girl of my dreams doesn't know it's sexual. It's just purely sexual. It's like puppy. It's not sexual. And I don't know. I don't know why.
Look, guys, I'm not going to fall into this hole that you're digging for me. OK, what if, like, you're not going to marry her? She's not a dream girl. It's just a hookup every once in a while, huh?
It's like a once a once a month thing.
You're not going to take everything else is just amazing.
The second I find out about that bug thing, that's gonna be the last time.
My. Why? Because I don't I mean, look, I like I said, I can't wrap my head around it. I don't want to understand it. I'm out listening for that. And for that reason, sharks.
I mean, I just think that, you know, nobody's perfect and we all have these things. And I agree. You can't just you can't disqualify someone just on something so tiny like that, you know?
OK, but OK, if someone approaches you, it's just like, hey, hey, Christina. Every right before we make love, I need to just cut off a sliver of your pinky. Well, that's going to harm me.
That's going to kill me in the long run. I'll bleed to death. Oh, so you're not the one getting hurt.
All right, Christina, I need you sliver of a pinky. I just called. The closest I've got is this argument. Yeah, I still think it's silly. Oh, it's silly.
The blood bag. First of all, the blood bag harms nobody. It's fake blood. Let's go back to blood bag, because I think I think the the bug thing is an animal rights issue. And we're now we're those are two different issues. The blood bag is this like it's a weird aesthetic choice that she makes and that's cosmetic. It's like someone wearing lame language.
I'm talking to a bunch of colourblind, ah, words that can't see a red flag when they fucking see it's right in front of your eyes like, oh, is it okay if I have this bag of fake blood around my neck? You're like, yeah, no problem. Let's go fuck in the next room dude. No, no fucking.
Listen, let me, let me tell you this, OK? I hear what you're saying.
When I was in high school, I was with a guy for four years who wore a fucking black velvet dress and makeup and. This is before any of this was cool. Yeah, and the sweetest, most wonderful guy on the planet is the blood coming that he dreamed. No, no, but I'm just saying, like, that's just an aesthetic choice.
It doesn't make you like that back then. Like, OK, so we're gonna check dating a golf dude, wild christina, wild limits.
You have but crazy boundaries, but you've never dated somebody that did something aesthetically that you were kind of like, that's that's a choice. And you just let it go. You just go like, oh, OK. I just don't think it's that big of a deal. I just don't think it's a big deal.
You know what? I just don't think I've been exposed to these types of obstacles in the way you're going to die alone.
You need to you need to make some concessions, because I won't because of the because of the lack of blood bags and bugs. Squishing Yes. I'll die alone.
You have to make concessions, right? Tulo Yeah. Am I right?
You have to everyone's got something weird about them and you just have to embrace it. Look, I agree with that, too.
But if the thing is, is that I have to kill animals before we fuck or wear a bag of your blood around my neck square, it's like.
Yeah, it's legal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. I can't believe you work here.
Right. It's like you guys thought Chris was the moral compass, but. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. Hey Chris, what do you think of all this crazy fucking nerd.
Chris, you fuck a woman first one stuff on some bugs. No, he's that hard now on the blood bags, but I'd probably get over the bugs.
Oh, there you go.
There's even Chris would do it, bro. This is complete horseshit. This is like eating is not even Chris would do it.
And Chris is the most moral and good and normal of all of us. He's the healthiest of all of us.
No, no, no. But here's what's happening, Christine. All right. Yeah, native. It's it's not that he's the moral compass and he's his compass has been skewing south ever since he started working here. OK, his op is down. His down is on. At least his voice. Everything's all right. No, no, no.
I think Chris, when he started working here, would have the same answer because that's what a rational person would say.
I'll step on some book now, dude, OK, to have your R worded and you have to chime in and let us know if Nadav is our podcast that Gmail dot com.
Go ahead. And we're going to take an official poll in essence. And Dallo, you will go through these emails and let's take a poll and see if these are worded or not for not wanting to squish bugs. The question is, is Nadhum and EFG because he won't squish bugs for the the woman of his dreams?
OK, go ahead and submit those emails smitham and put bugs in the subject and just put our word it or not was that is so that you don't have to go through all the emails.
Yes, he's already dead now. He's not.
Yeah. Keep it brief. Gets the point is Madoff or we're forwarded.
OK, and then if you don't require bugs to be squished in relationships that you're in, you know, just, you know, say that you're down for whatever. It just it's not whether I'm retarded or not.
This is a rough episode for you. This is the roughest. Yeah, this is the roughest episode of my life.
But you just need help. You need tough, recutting 45 minutes.
So no, we're not. No, we're not. Don't you touch it.
I will not let that happen. All right. All right. Well, let's let's wrap things up, you guys. Thank you so much, Mommy's, for watching, for listening, for being a part of our Wyoming family. Pretty soon, I hope soon enough we'll have our tiny bones back in studio. Um, but any Huddle's thank you so much for tuning in. We love you. And go ahead. And I'm coming up in May. All right.
Bye bye. Now, this is not. Oh, my God, it was not my pockets. What the fuck is this was the real thing is right here, man. I feel like I got a paper pusher right now. What the fuck are blocking looking like this? The guy was put on. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. I don't want to put your money, your money, your money, your money, but.