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One one, one, one, wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa.


Are you retarded?


I think I'm fully to this episode of Your Mom's House is brought to you by Satava, if you listen to this show or any of our other shows, you know that we are huge, legit, genuine fans of these Satava Mattress Company.


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The genes are in town or in town, and I'm going to I'm getting out of town to bring up my Nashville date native getting out of town, I'm getting out of town.


I tell you, I. I'm going to Adderson. Those are already sold out. Thank you so much. For everybody who bought tickets, click Don't go down to my tour dates.


I'm going to be getting to Nashville.


Go down, Miami down, down.


We're going to Nashville in March, March 11th, 12th and 13th.


That's awesome. Yeah. So could you take it now? You know, these clubs are only going at half capacity, so there's very few tickets. So if you want to go, I advise you buy tickets early and I got Clear's. Yes.


To go to Florida. OK, Florida, I'm going to go to Palm Beach, um, next month. It starts the, uh, the 16th. I don't think it's actually even on there yet, but it should be, um.


Yeah. So February. That's how you say. Right, 16, 17, 18, 19. I'm doing the Palm Beach improvs and I got college gig and I got cleared to do it.


I took my glove off to the industry. Oh, that's a big deal. Oh. Also I added a show in Addison Thursday night, so we just added that.


There you go. So you can buy that. There you go. And there you go. So we're going back on the road.


And he said, I'm so happy you're doing great. Yeah, it's getting better. It's getting better. They told me your nerves regenerate one millimeter a day, one day, one millimeter a day. So tiny it takes a while for this shit to come back. But it is getting better. I can move that.


Did your doctor did your doctor go is going to take a while for that shit to come back.


He goes, listen, I've been in fucking I've been a fucking doctor for a fucking while bro. I was like, yeah, yeah. He goes, I've seen this shit. He's fucking shit all the time. And I was like, cool man.


And he goes, he's got a wait shit fuckin sucks. But you fucking wait.


He's all I hear you bro.


He's all you should like chill smokeable, chill the fuck out and let your fucking body do its shit.


I was like, excellent, you're good doctor man.


So he told me that and in my PT came by and she was like, here's the thing.


Fucking pussies, they don't fucking recover the way like fucking beasts do. Which are you? And then I did blood flow restrictions because you're a fucking beast. You're not a pussy. Yeah, she really did.


She really does talk that way because she goes, I bet none of your fucking friends could handle this shit. I was like, OK, she's a bad ass.


I really dig her. She is she and I immediately hit it off like you got a potty mouth comes in with, like, the best attitude. Yeah, I love it. Positive energy. I really like.


She's really great. Doctor Carey shot big shots.


So you're doing Nashville. So excited. Flo Rida. Can we just do our proper show. OBIS antibodies are just great. Amy, thank you. Covered it. I've got the antibodies buddy. All right, let's start the show. I'm excited. I need to do it. Let's go.


That looks like the buckle was right. They kind of look like kind of look like shit stains out. There's the pussy right there, so. Let's give it away. Oh, that is pungent so I can ship out now you can actually smell some shit. Oh, my goodness, this is, huh? This is giving me a boner erection achieved and fucking achieved. What's up, dog?


But does anyone know when a book is so great?


Well, welcome. Welcome to my mom's house with Tom Seglora and Christina Ricci. Welcome to your life. So did. You know, the best part I did ask my doctor, I go, you know, have these shows in Florida. And I do them. He goes, where are they? I told him. He goes, Yeah, you can do them. And I go, like, what if I, you know. Like, can I stand for that period because you're standing right now?


OK, and I go, what if it, you know, like one of my legs starts to hurt? He goes, get a stool. That's a good point. You sit on the stool.


I was like, OK, I think I'm good.


Thanks for all the info.


Have you stood longer than a few minutes at this point? Guys, I can stand for a while.


OK, good. I stand for a while, but I bet you're going to be based on adrenaline.


Yeah, I bet the part that that's going to feel the weirdest is the walk up to the stage because I got to be like, uh.


Hope you know what I like about my maker. You know what I like about you right now, though, is that your cool brace walk? You walk with a swag. Yeah, yeah. You look like Fred Sanford, but they claim to the left.


Yeah. It's pretty kind of a stinky dick walk now. Yep. And I hope you never lose that.


It's never going away. And when you played the intro today, you were glove loveless. And that made the intro sound different this time too. I think so. It was a more slick, neat, kind of raw thing. What do you think of the cool intro to the episode?


Thanks for asking. I have wanted to know what men do with dirty panties my whole life and I feel like finally at 44, let's go in the full right. Got to see what happened. Why just show that. Let's see the full report.


Right boyos. Here we go. I just came back from the gym, picked up my package. I'm whispering a little bit because my woman is sleeping at two a.m. here, so I got to keep it. That's what you do. And I'm sure she thought she would be really, really devastated. No shit. That's why I'm making a video so excited. Wow. OK, so what is this exactly? These are three day warm. Panties, they were worn by a 19 year old, supposedly a 19 year old girl with a hairy, dark, hairy asshole, dark pussy from what I from what I can tell.


So she got more juicy and nasty.


I love why do I enjoy this? I have no idea.


I'll tell you what's funny is that when you hear about kinks, I think there's you get to a point where you're like, yeah, I know that that exists. And whatever it is different to see to see it. Yeah. And also, I don't know if this is genuine or a bit like he has some seems real to me. He has like he has performance traits like, you know, I mean like he liked the way he looks to the camera.


It's not like. I could see this being a bit, but. I'm still I still find it very entertaining now hold on before we go on. Yeah, it's interesting. I didn't I didn't really I didn't realize that it needs to be three day war.


Well, somebody that is, you know, buying like I've talked to a DOM who says that, like, guys who have bought shit from them said, like, eat this diet. Right. You know. Right. That's the fun. Eat it for a few days and then and then shit into Tupperware and mail it to me. Um, I think the whole thing is that he wants this and people like this want this to smell right. If it doesn't smell, then there's like.


Right. They, they want a really pungent. Yeah. They want the product to be pure.


If you pull it out of the dryer and it smells like bounty or whatever. Not fair.


But here's the thing is that as a woman, the thought of wearing panties for three days and sweating in them is revolting. Oh yeah. Is it revolting to get a hundred dollars for them?


Wait, and how nasty is this bitch that she had Doki doki spots to? He probably was like fart as much as you can in these.


I mean, it is rare for me to get Dukey spots, but I mean, I did yesterday. Oh, but we'll get into that later.


That's for the audience. I got to get clean on that story.


And that was we can skip that story. I had a really intense brown water. You can skip the story.


So I paid the thirty dollars. Thirty dollars, U.S. dollars, U.S. starting shipping, including shipping. Now it could have been cheaper by paying extra for the three days of wearing it because I'm monopolizing her vagina. Right. And I also paid extra for her not to wipe her pussy after I paid like two dollars and fifty cents.


It's got to be a bit it's got to be a bit.


I asked her if she's having unprotected sex with any men. She said, no, she doesn't happened so well. You know what? Wouldn't that be a bummer.


What wait. What would be a bummer? This seems all positive energy. I think. I'm saying like he was like you having unprotected sex. I would think that that would be what's exciting, that the sex juices on the panty that she's like, yeah.


And then he's like, I'm giving you forty dollars. Well, hey, man, I'm I'm a little bummed. And it's thirty dollars with shipping. As we all know, shipping costs are pretty expensive.


Ladies, prices are twenty dollars essentially. Now hold on to think about as a woman not wiping every time we make CESI dangerous, that's how you get. And what's the real lesson in all this front to back? The real lesson in all of this is that it appears that the woman is 19 and that's why she doesn't know better. That's OK. That's who you need to target.


So if you want to take advantage of somebody and price gouge them, go for teens, teens.


And he said U.S. dollars, which leads me to believe that these might be for the women to believe, however, because he specifies U.S. dollar. So maybe he went overseas to procure these panties. Is this like a Philippines time?


Oh, boy. Here we go. He's Sajad. Well, not much fuck, yeah.


So you're not from a 19 year old, I guarantee you, my man works out definitely in good shape.


I definitely see some stains here and then. Oh, yeah. And this was the opening part, right. Looks like the where the Bungle bungles. It kind of looks like bunghole look like shit stains. Oh, how exciting. He found it.


So let's give it away. No, please don't. Don't. No.


Oh, that is pungent.


Oh, I'm going to ship out now. You can actually smell some shit. Really. Quite. Oh my goodness. This is hot. This is giving me a boner right now. That is wild. That gives them about erection achieved. Erection fucking achieved, dude. All right. Well, there's the review. And every single year with the pungent, nasty smell of these things, shit mixed with piss mixed with fucking teenage pussy juice. My goodness.


My goodness. This is this is having boys with heaven.


What a cool guy. Where's the cool guy? Club rep. Is he the president and. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh my God.


It's the heaven. It's teenage pussy and shit. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I got to say, that was pretty cool. That was a cool guy. Now, it was fun.


It was fun. It was fun to go on that ride with him, even if this is a bit I really appreciate it, but I imagine so.


He's got to keep these panties. Isn't the girlfriend going to find them? Well, yeah.


I mean, also, like, if you were trying to get clothing a real secret, like the way that this is presented, you wouldn't record it and then upload it right now. I got to be real quiet. Like, does she not know you have a fucking video channel or YouTube, like, you know or any he has to be employed somewhere.


Maybe not.


You can actually smell some shit. Oh, yeah.


Now, would this be a deal breaker for you, Tom, if you found out that I secretly was into stinky male panties and I ordered them on the Internet and I paid thirty whole dollars.


It's just so strange. It's like it's not even that I would be like, I can't believe you're doing that to me.


I'd be like, I think I want to throw up. Oh, yeah.


I just what the fuck is wrong with you. That's the thing is that I find this fetish to be like what. OK, I mean, yeah. Thrilled.


I don't feel I wouldn't feel threatened by it. Correct. Yeah. No I would just be like kind of feel bad for you like you know and I might contribute to it.


I might be like Merry Christmas. Here's five dirty pennies. I think I might, I might do this. I might be like, hey, guess what, uh, I'm going to Venmo you thirty dollars today so you can fucking get off.


That's what I'm saying, that. Well hold on now.


Some shit mix with piss mixed with fucking teenage pussy juice.


So maybe in the in the world of fetishes, this is one of the most the easier ones to accommodate. Look, I would say if your partner is into this, you kind of lucked out.


Kind of you kind of did.


I mean, if you're this lady in the other room, she's like, fine, I get it that she's she could feel threatened. I think you actually just one.


Yeah. Why? I'm sorry. You won one. It's one. You won it.


Yeah. All those dummies out there saying it wrong. I got so many messages of support.


Well, yeah, I mean, because we know how to speak English correctly. Yeah, well, shaking your head, do you say you got so many messages of support? How many messages of support did you could you could you countless educate them?


On one hand, I countless.


I can't even I mean, I got some criticism like I got this email me. See, are there are there videos about this in here or. No. Oh yeah. Here it is. OK, yeah. So here we go. Here's an email that came in. Hey mommies, my queens over 18. OK, genes. The way Tom was mispronouncing the word one has been bothering me ever since I heard it. I couldn't tell if he was being deliberately silly for a bit or if he was really that talked recently.


I was listening to Episode five 41 where he interviewed his cousin Brian about McMillans.


And Brian says one for one, just like Tom does, I think the case has been solved. We can blame Charro and Aunt Blanca for this travesty. If you need me to solve any other cases, let me know. Piss on me and beat me. Tatau Kyra.


So that's one that came in and then another one here, uh, bionic Tim and scrum phobic. Kristi, you're both wrong on this one, guys. I'm sorry to say one is definitely pronounced the same as one. I'd let it go. But the fact that you used your Peruvian mother's pronunciation as proof is to are worded to ignore. I mean, sure, let's use the only person who was first language isn't English makes perfect sense. In fact, I think the only reason you say it like that is that you've heard her say it wrong every time she wins a game of bridge.


So you might be right.


Don't be retarded then. Yeah, so it is. I won. I won. I say one one. Yeah I know.


I well I mean here's the thing that people are doing right there. They keep sending in words. They keep going. They keep sending their like, how would you say so when you're like, what does that spell? Go ahead, son, right?


So they're like, see? And then I'm like, OK, how would you say C on?


C and Con, right, not Cune, right? That's true, right? These words and see if the job can mount.


Don, Don EFO and.


Fond, fond of someone, not fond of someone, right? Sure. OK, Jaylin. John, John, not John, not John. How about Modano, mano a mano, not mano.


How about A.N.? None. I mean, yeah, I think, oh, wait, wait, wait, I'm not falling for your fucking Zionist agenda to infiltrate our minds and not let Palestinians live on the West Bank.


First of all, I think we could all agree.


I agree first that the banks and we all know Mantei Zionist guys. I don't think I'm I got another one for you. I got another one for you because people keep sending me words.


What what about s o n i c. US oh, and I see yes, Sonic. Oh, yeah, but it's not Sonic, not Sonic, not some.


Well, yeah, I mean I think everyone knows that English is the easiest language to learn that has no special rules involving tons of words.


You know, the only thing that actually is the most annoying about this whole thing, it's not even being corrected. And like people being like, oh, you say it's wrong. It's it's that it's forty one years later.


Yeah. That I have said a word.


I don't know. I feel like it has to be like 5000.


I know. And not one time until our live show did somebody go, hey man, you're saying that I'm fucked up.


I know I feel dumber the older I get. I thought I knew stuff and then I'm like, I've been saying this shit wrong. I've been doing this for ever forever.


We have three more words that are confusing for lots of students. But in America, I'm in America. The American pronunciation is very different for all of these.


So here we have y y y y y. Let's just concentrate on the w a wah wah wah wah wah wah.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One one one one one, wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa. Are you retarded?


I think I'm fully type, so this word w o nt sounds the same as that's what the number one. Wow. So let's make a sentence, huh?


Won't. Want. One, OK. It's the same idea here. He won't want one, I am getting better at English now.


Retarded, OK? Yeah, so, so but that's so counterintuitive, I mean, as most of our language is that here's what you want is the same as oh, and here's what's going to happen since it's called a homophone.


Right. Like flower. And I'm afraid of gay people. Yeah.


Which, by the way. Guess what they're called, hmm? They're not called homophobic, they're called homophobic, homophobic Jesus.


Here's what's going to happen. This is so jarring that I will remember how to say it, but probably like 20 percent of the time.


I know.


So I'm going to say one a lot and then I'll be. Maybe on camera or something, someone like, no, I, I won, I won, and also because of fucking nobody, nobody tells you but one friend. And you guys like your family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like not one friend. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've run into like Joe Rogan and been like talking about fights and I'll be like, who won?


And he didn't go, what. But does he say one or one. I don't know.


I don't I think it's because it's hard to like it's hard to pick up on because this is like a quick, short or very quick.


And like I was I was watching all these pre tapes, just seeing it before we went to the live show. It didn't pick up on me.


And then Annie saw it and he's like, yo, why is he saying one like that?


But I was like, what are you talking about? So he noticed. He noticed. And then once someone else like it gets like picked up on, you can't hear it.


Wow. Yeah. It was a really like I didn't even get it at first.


When we were doing the show I was like, we talking about you seemed very upset by your stuff. I just thought I thought you guys were fully talked, you know.


Well, I agree, Tom. I'm a little upset that I was saying ambidextrous. I mean, you corrected bad the live. You corrected me on that, thankfully. But that's a whole lifetime sounding like an idiot retard and no one tells me. And then chewing gum. I was saying that for, you know, some beisner sun visor. We also weren't drying off after showers. I was crazy. And that was forty three years of I got to tell you, that was very disturbing.


I know that was very you want let me tell you about yesterday. And I was like, isn't it horrible to be horrible wearing wet like clothes when you when she was like yeah I was like why don't why when you dry off. She never thought about it.


Such an asshole. And I still have to force myself to dry off. I force it wet this morning.




Wet, wet sometimes yoga pants. I would try to get into my Lululemon sweat. I was so stupid. So let me tell you about yesterday in Austin Airport. Yeah. Before I went to the Arab Puerto, I had some lovely Brussels sprouts and a piece of fish and it was greasy. So I was a little concerned. And as I was going through security. Mm. I started to feel a little nauseous and sick and that's how I know I got a brown.


So I go to my friend, I go, listen I, I got to shit. This is a level ten emergency.


It was that bad. It felt like, like, you know when you can tell it's just going to be water like just brown water. You can just. Yeah. I mean I felt it quite a bit lately.


Yeah. And I sat down in the airport and it was one of those machine gun like words like pa pa pa pa pa pa pa. Like women don't sound like that very. I haven't made that sound ever. Yeah. And I had to let it rip and it was, it was cathartic when you shot that brown water out. But it's just water.


I mean I, I don't know if you were thinking this, but it had just occurred to me that you could probably make thirty dollars really quick, like really quickly if you from yesterday's travel panis.


Definitely if you go home and there in the hamper, you should pull them out, put them in a Ziploc bag and that's thirty dollars in my pocket.


And thanks for like sharing that story.


Well I was, I was fine a moment ago.


OK, but here's what I learned. So I traveled with my doctor friend, Dr. Jessica shout out. She listens to the show. She's a mommy. And I said to her, I'm going to shit. And she goes, I go, I'm really nervous because there's no wash left and there's nothing grosser than a runny dump. And then you keep pushing it and moshing it. And now she's a medical doctor. She says, why don't you spread your cheeks open and then sit down on the bowl?


And that's another Litsky effect where I thought my whole life, I'm an idiot, 44 years in my life, I never thought, spread your cheeks and then shit. And I have to say cleanup was 50 percent better because I took her advice.


Yeah. So thank you, Dr. Jessica. About spreading.


You've never tried the technique.


I have. I have. And it's very it's very effective. How much would you say it improves the cleanup? Well, for someone like me with a big ass and a hairy ass and everything. Yeah, dramatically better.


Do you hold it or you just spread it and then sit down and let the to the the toilet rim hold your butt in place.


Yeah. You just. Spread your cheeks as you go down, your asshole's wider, your cheeks are more a part of your asshole, really. And then like when you shit, you're not shitting onto your cheeks, right? Shitting into the toilet. Right. But me, I'm such a dummy.


For the last 44 years, I've been just shitting on my cheeks. I like going. Cleanup's hard.


Well, yeah, well, I'm glad we resolved all that, but I had two waves of brown water. Now, listen to this. No, I'm good. Now there's more.


So after that, I was so hungry because I was just emptied out so fast.


Guess what I ate after Mexican food, I dared the brown trout. Why would you do that? I don't know. I thought to myself, you know what? I'm going to take a gamble. And I was fine. I didn't have diarrhea.


Weird. When that happens, it's not evacuates. And then you go, here's some risky food. And it's like, yeah, it's fun. It doesn't make any sense.


Tandoori chicken before in my life. Yeah. Now that one time we had tacos and at the Atlanta airport and we flew to Africa. Yeah. And I sharded for the first time on an airplane, remember on our way to Africa. I did remember that. And thankfully I had a spare pair of undies and who knows, like I should have sold the dirty pair to that guy. You should have done years ago had I known. Where were you?


I'm going to tell you guys I was in Austin, Texas, House, Malmsteen, yep.


And it's a big announcement. Sure. Should we go ahead and let the cat out of the bag? Chips in the bowl.


Chips in the bowl. Is it are cats eating kibble?


Is it explosions? I don't think I even have it anymore. I was there.


This is a wireless exclusive. Why are they exclusive?


While I went there to prepare for. The riots on the 20th when Biden gets inaugurated and I'm joining arms with my brothers, oh, good. We're going to fight the election.


No, I we I we purchased a home. Yep. In Austin, Texas. And I went there to start preparing us for the move.


Our move to Texas, moving to Texas. This is it, you guys.


So I think we will be here for a few more months. Um, we'll move there. But the idea is also, at least at least for a while, to keep this space. So we have the ability to come here and, you know, see hopefully as things hopefully as things get better. Um, having guests here, again, Los Angeles based guests who, you know, we we work with a lot, but also have, um, an Austin place.


That's right. So, yeah, we're really excited, honestly. Really excited about it. So excited.


And you know me, I'm a diehard Angelino, but our city has gone through so much hell this year. It's really been horrendous. And it gives me great sadness to leave my city of origin. But I'm really excited for Austin. Me too. People are lovely. It's just been heaven to go.


I'm excited for a change and I'm excited for, like, the adventure of. Like other movies, like when I moved a lot, you know, as a kid and as an adult, obviously last week moved within cities and stuff, you know, a few times, but. When you move like this, it does feel like an adventure, and I think it's kind of like living, you know, like that's like, yeah, it is. But yeah, I'm very excited.


I, I just think it's a beautiful place and I think we're going to be really happy.


I think so too. I think it's really the time that I've spent there. I've always enjoyed Austin. I shot my last special there. I always had a great time in Austin, met great people, love the city. And I think it's a great environment for kids, you know, like to grow up.


I mean, things to be really fun. Yeah. I mean, like, you don't want your kids growing up getting fake IDs and going to nightclubs in Hollywood at 14 like I did. Was so funny when I was 15. People still think Hollywood means cool and like show biz. You forget like I was on Pat McAfee show last week and I was like, yeah, I used to play pickup games in Hollywood, like basketball. We're talking about my injury.


And he was like, oh, that must have been like the like short people and, you know, like actors. And I was like, what? Like I was like, oh, yeah.


You don't know what Hollywood means. Hollywood means dirtbag's to people in Los Angeles.


That means Gang Bang Rimi as shit like and and people outside of here go like Hollywood means glitz and glamour like you don't know Hollywood.


No, Hollywood is a fucking dump you like. And it has been it's not a new thing.


Oh when I was a kid it was like it was skinheads, gang bangers. In the first place I lived. It was the fucking diciest shit I've ever been in.


Now, they made it nicer with Hollywood and Highland. Yeah, I think it's back to shit now. Yeah. That they tried to make it nicer.


They put a nice building in a shitty place and now it's shitty again.


Well the homeless encampments are just out of control and the crime is out of control here.


Hollywood is where you go for drugs, prostitution. You know, it's it's a lot of like. Living by stealing and breaking in the car. If you live there now, right. How's how's it going?


I mean, we have we have great taco stands over great chocolate. But also there's Hollywood like that. People understand, too. I'm not talking about, like, one block Hollywood. It's it's its own huge. Yeah. It's a big there are parts of Hollywood that are obviously better than other parts, but there are parts like where I lived that are not nice.


You and you are like in Hollywood proper. Right. I was in trouble. I was in proper. I was between Fountain and Santa Monica.


But when I lived there, I mean, I saw multiple celebrities, well-known people buy heroin. Yeah, that's where you go.


I lived on it. I lived on a track. So it was just and it's a transsexual prostitution track. So that's I mean, I would say we would sit on our balcony and, you know, watch things take place. Yeah. Yeah.


Robbery's we saw multiple robberies, of course, one time when I was when I was moving out of an apartment, these two vatos came into our apartment was. Yeah, just like to check you out.


It was a homey shaved head, tattoos.


And they were like, what's dog? And we were like, we're packing up our shit. We were like, what's up? When they're like, what's up with you? We're like, what are you doing in our apartment? Oh, yeah.


Oh, it's real. Yeah I when I was in runs. Yeah, yeah.


When I get a lot of nudity, a lot of nudity and then the, the once in a while you'll see a coyote also just running, trotting down the street a foot from the door like how glamorous is Hollywood.


And you're like I don't think you know what you're talking about. Well in the 90s crack was really popular and I had a fake I.D. at fifteen so I could get into the clubs down in Hollywood and Highland, like in the shit, and we would walk past people smoking crack rocks. And then you pay like a homeless guy to watch your car so that it didn't get broken into and then you would go to the nightclubs. And that was when I was 15 years old.


I mean, what a fucking nightmare. It's not good. Yeah, it's getting get worse. You've you lived there for a while.


Yeah. Are you excited to move out of there? I'm so excited. Yeah.


To move out of my neighborhood like it's every New Year's. I was afraid to just always leave because you weren't sure what were fireworks. What we're gunshots.


I remember. I mean, I remember one time I was taking the subway to go meet up with some of my friends at a party. And this homeless lady just says, you're going to beat the shit out of a woman. Like, I don't know what you're saying.


And then she started chasing me. Hmm. Oh, I was like, OK, that's kind of funny. And then it's just getting real close and she's not slowing down. And then I just start sprinting. Yeah.


And laughing. And I don't like that's just living in Hollywood, but that's yeah.


Hollywood is the best. Hollywood is wild. That's what it is.


And it's you know, there's a time for that in your life. And then there's a time year. I don't really like to do that.


I'd like to stop the mayhem. The most fun you never want to have again. Yeah, exactly. I remember when we lived in the rampart, too. And those gunshots. You're right. There's that fun game around Fourth of July and New Year's Eve. Are those gunshots or fireworks or both?


Yeah, well, the truth is that is usually both on those days. That's usually about, uh.


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And then one of our last days there, there was a riot. In the Rampart Division. Oh, that's right. A man who was drunk had crossed the street with a knife. Sixth Street with with a knife. It's very El Salvador neighborhood. And he was El Salvador in. He was drunk, he's wielding a knife, and police shot him 13 times, right? Yeah. So then there was like riots in the neighborhood. Everything was overturned.


And I went on the roof of our building like two days later.


And just on the block that we lived on there, there were nine or 10 LAPD choppers because, you know, usually there was one every night they would and they would shine the light in our apartment every night, like, what the fuck is this?


Every night you'd get a light chopper.


But when you see them hovering in one like, you know, like radius, you're just like this feels like the end of times right here.


Well, and I went back to our old neighborhood in Silver Lake last week. I took skiddle to see where we met and where we used to live. And it is it is horrible. Now it's a homeless encampment in Echo Park. They re gentrified that whole beautiful park with the waterfall. And it's it's a homeless encampment.


It's it's really sad to the city is like cities destroyed. I mean, the city terrible, really falling apart. And so is the state, to be honest. Yeah, it's really the state is kind of falling apart.


Here's something, though, that's really uplifting. And this might be my favorite thing that you guys ever found, which is that the Go Big Show is on TBS. I believe it's hosted by our good friend and my best friend, Bert Krischer. It's got a Snoop Dogg.


And so during a wrestling show, the commentators are promoting Go Big Show and check this out.


Snoop and Cody Rose, hard go, big show. Set your DVR now to watch Snoop, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Nettles, Tony Burke first.


And then then the guy corrects them.


Nine, eight, seven, central on TBS first, Chrysler versus Blue. Bert Kirchherr, Kershaw, Chrysler.


Well, guess what?


Those will be played to the end of time. That did lift my spirits. Thank you.


Wasn't that great? That was great, Bruce. I never heard Bruce Kershner. Mike, Bruce, Krischer. That's a new one, Krischer.


I mean, Brian Burke, you're the first person you've got to change the Tuba's intro for that.


Yeah. Tom Seger and Burt Kershner. Bruce Krischer.


Bruce is Bruce just Krischer. When you hear the word Bruce, don't you just think it's automatically.


Yeah, yeah. Don't you automatically think that Bruce is a gay name? Of course. Right. Yes. Like you just have to be gay if your name Bruce.


Oh yeah, sure. Yeah.


We play that drop again of him saying that first is my favorite. Should do Burt.


Burt Kershaw. He is a weirdly checked out enough where he might not know about that, which is so fun. You know Bruce.


Bruce Curser. Yeah. How do people mess up his name so much it's not that crazy, it's not that crazy because, you know, but I think seeing the EIC, you know, the German SIBYLLE.


Yeah. Just intimidates people.


It is really crowdie. I mean, I've told you, I've been on the I mean, my last name's phonetic. Yeah. And I've had people be like, hi, Mr.. I like customer service.


Hi, Mr.. I'm like, what I got to say it, I'm like, it's it's not that. And what makes me so crazy is that like half our country is I mean, there's so many Latin people here. How do you not know that's a Latin? I mean, you have to be such as a superintendent. I hey. And I never. And that was smart of you to go to P.


Oh yeah. Yeah. Because you know p who the fuck can say my life.


Yeah. And nobody wants you know what like somebody sees that last name we like.


You know what, I don't want to get involved with this person, you know, blame.


That's what I if I see like K.R. y guys, I'm like I don't even know this person well, even what's his name. Brezinski. The that guy is like, wow, that's pretty crazy. He kept that, he kept it.


I mean everybody in sports, everybody knows Mike Krzyzewski, but like that's a horrible correlation. It's terrible. And you only know how to pronounce because he's so famous. Yeah. Like they say it so many times, you're like, OK, yeah, I get how to say it, but I wish he would be like, yeah, I'm just. Well they call it Coach K Court. Like that's what that's what they call it.


Coach K Court and Duke. Yeah. It's still it's punishing to do that to people. It is.


We should you too. I am a philosophical intellectual. I consider myself a genius. Oh also I'm a former journalist but as of right now I am a philosophy, philosophical, intellectual genius and also. This here is my stuff, buddy, Terry the tiger, I'm a Debbie boy, which means my gender is halfway between. Age, gender and cis male, so my pronouns, you can either call me, he hee him, that's fine. You can also do they them that's also fine.


And for my. Buddy here, dairy, the Tiger, Dairy, the tiger is a gender I'm not going to assign gender to my study body, I prefer with pronouns.


As far as the tiger goes, use Z Zim's. They're the Z pronouns, as I call them. Yeah, you add welcome to my channel. So that's fucking awesome intro.


I also feel like any time that somebody is like I'm a demi person or not and that's all you hear, you're you're not sticking around for the rest of their sentence when they say, have you met my stuffy buddy?


You're like, oh, OK, yeah, no, I haven't yet. I'm a demi Gorgan, I'm a demagogue. And, you know, like, I got to kind of like, don't you want to eat my stuff, buddy?




Well, isn't it just nonsense when you hear this? This is such nonsense.


And I can't wait for like a decade where we just laugh at this shit. Yeah.


Like where the tiger is a gender. He's a gender. Yeah. He's just Agia. Yeah. Yeah, does he do you think there's a hole cut in the tiger? I don't know. And he puts his penis inside of it. Good Lord. And fills it up with that hot white cream.


But he is Demi Gorgan. So that's between CIS gender male and a asexual male. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Oh, boy.


What if our sons turn out like this? What would you do if one of your kids is doing this? I mean, it's sad. You know, you cut them out of the will and you just go, I love you, but, you know, you're on your own. Now we're taking a psychiatrist, right?


Of course. Yes. This guy is severely mentally ill.


Why is he wearing a mask for his philosophically? You know, I never understood that, like when you're making a video in your own home, you don't need to worry about where he's getting it from the air conditioning. You're fine. You're not protecting the viewers.


Don't worry, you're stuffy. But he's going to give it to you. You're fine. Yeah. Put a mask on the tiger asshole. This guy I could see wearing a mask.


I want everybody to know what I have. I know you'll delete this video because you're jealous. YouTube instructor managers will delete it. I have in my ass toothaches, headaches, migraines, shotgun blast.


Those are all in his ass. Oh, what is that?


Cut slices, you know, irritated nose. Oh, her eardrum. When you have a cold sore and it hurts really bad. I hate that. Or if you have acne and it hurts you. Yeah, I have all that in my ass. How do you have it on your end.


Guess what, I have a dildo coming in the mail using toilet paper shoved up I guess. What what dildoes coming. Oh wow. That's to listen to. Oh you should have said that at the beginning.


You need to tell your queens above 18 at the top. Yeah, but it's out in the middle of the video. Yeah.


What if my kid was watching this video. Everything I said was not bad. I'm just telling you what I have. You have everything in your ass. Schimmel's don't have it. Oh Malenko does Malenko into your thick skull. Stupid coward.


Well you know the fucking funny thing is I just realized here this is a message to one person. Oh Malenko this is a this is like an actual, it's one of those things where it's like get it through your head. He's telling one person is a retaliation. It's I you know, I used to have everything in your ass. Everything's in my ass now.


I have all that in my ass.


Right. So what's the first rag? It's a humble break. Right. So what's the first guy's video? I don't know, man. I got coming. Yeah.


He's like I got so much shit in my butt. He's like, oh, I got shit in my butt bro. Yeah. And I got a dildo coming. I won't put that dildo. So this is the debate, Mr.. Right around my head around this. Yeah. The debate is I've got more stuff in my butt than you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


This is like I think it's an old roommate who used to keep all kinds of things in his ass and this guy got jealous. And then he goes, guess what, motherfucker, malenka.


This whose ass is full now I have a dildo coming in the mail.


Yeah. So he's like, I can put all the stuff in my butt. Yeah. Oh good for you. Um, yeah. Good for you. Do you ever have a cold sore in your butt.


I don't think I've had a cold sore in my butt. Hmm. Those are painful.


Yeah. How do you get a job here fuckface.


Uh, I guess who's was feathering it.


People all over the world now. Yeah. Russia put some alcohol. It's my tribe. Feather it. It's good. You lean your head over line and then you celebrate with your partner next to him, right.


Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, well that really picked up. Oh no. Oh he's still fun. Yeah.


You know what Sasha forgot there is that he put a lot of product in his hair before he went out.


That gel is inflammatory.


That would be a really good way to make team building exercise, you know, I mean, I don't even know if Chris can participate anymore.


But, hey, can we talk about Chris Froome? Yeah, he's a really good guy.


No, I mean, did you notice his new swag, like his big dark energy hair? Cause he's got his McGyver jacket on. It's like Edman. Yeah, he's Kris's.


What happened? Chris, you got some swag going. We took a break and I got some time off. Did you donate your hair? I did donate my hair. Look at you, man. Best. You're the best.


Really nice. And did you did you get 30 bucks for to see smell in there right now?


Yeah. Pubes to a donation if you get. Oh, wait for it.


But I mean, somebody was like, I'm going to jerk off to this hair. I mean, probably OK, some poor cancer kid. Oh.


Do you think we're dark. Yeah. Like I got cancer gets dark. Yeah.


Well that's very nice of you now that you did that. Let me ask you, Chris, because I just I'm so impressed with your whole new vibe, your whole new energy. Are you chatting with ladies on the Internet? Yes, I'm still chairman, ladies. Still trying to find the one that's so exciting.


That's what. What she's in Texas now. Let's hope how come that's so so you're on the Instagram. Yeah.


What's your handle getting out of the handle? I don't know.


In case anybody watching is interested in Chris Larsen, you could find him at what does it see Arias underscore hash tag hash. What is it? What is it?


It's at C double E underscore lira's C. C, double E. Yeah. L.A. R. S. Yeah.


OK, I don't want to get your box lapped up by s.L over here.


Send me a message. I think.


Chris, is there a picture of your stinky box of mail him your mail him your underwear after three days of fighting and you know well I think Chris Larsen such a great guy and I just want to see him find a nice girl, maybe maybe a few. Not so nice girls in the beginning. Yeah. He's got to just, you know, bust nuts.


Well, he's got to figure out, like, that's not a nice lady, but he's got to figure out, you know, and then I want you to find your wife, uh, through your DMS.


She's your big ass house. OK, I want to pressure I'm not of pro. I'm so excited about this new Chris Larson. I love it. It's great. Yeah.


Um, but I got some I got something to watch here. OK, yeah. This is a horrible or hilarious. All right. We decide. Here we go.


I haven't seen it looks like there's a clock tower and there's a crane that's bringing a oh.


Oh, holy shit. So I don't think anybody was hurt, so you're going to give it up hilarious. It's a fun new lane of horrible or hilarious where no one gets hurt or dies.


But it looked like the clock dropped on the man on the platform at first. Right. But he's OK. He's OK. He's fine. He's fine.


I like stuff dropping from high places. That looks like that weighs a lot. Yeah, that's a major fuck. I mean.


Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. They're using a brain bad and it's like, hey, break it down Jimmy. Oh. Oh yeah.


Yeah. Oh God. Look at that. Oh shit. We're going to need another one.


All right. Here's another horrible or hilarious. Ready. Oh, just the label here makes me feel like this could be bad.


Somebody is getting into an elevator. Somebody oh, no, I was really drunk, someone's got a bar. Oh, oh, oh, oh oh. A shot that can happen. Oh my God, I've got to be in Russia or something. Or Asia. Yeah. Holy shit. So, yeah, if you're listening and you got you're going to want to see this one.


So these guys are drunk as fuck and the elevator closes so they lean towards the second elevator and when they fall on the elevator doors they fall through the exterior doors and there's no elevator there. Oh my.


They fall through the into the elevator shaft and they're just I don't know, they're just.


What is this like a decoy elevator? Like a facade? I don't know. They pull them out. There's one guy. Where's the other guy. What? They're fine.


My guess is I don't know Macao like I found. That was awesome. Yeah.


It's cool this way. No one would be like, hey, you know, those guys they're no longer with. They're fine. Yeah. I like this new lane. I don't like people getting severely injured anymore. I used to a little bit. I don't anymore. I wonder why.


So your boy, uh, the king. Yeah. People are loving his. Story, you know, his. His videos like the saga, if you will, of the King, yeah, um, it's been growing. People are just intrigued by him, you know. Yeah, he's a very, um, charismatic, enigmatic, inspiring guy.


He really is. There's just a lot to him that people, uh. I don't know, they just they feel like he is the man I'm drawn to him. Yeah. You know, I don't want to go on a date, though.


I feel like American Morning, my queen. Above 18. Yeah, it's just time to wake up. Yeah, come on. Yes, you are my queen, right? This has inspired people so much so that I can, um, boy, they've sent in their own. Hold on. I'm so excited. Here is, uh, Ben, OK, hello, my queen, above 18. It's almost 1:00 in the afternoon, which means you're getting off work soon.


I hope you're going to get a hot dinner when you get home. You deserve a bubble bath, OK? My queen has a beautiful day.


I love the headset. Fantastic. Really nice to add the headset and his enunciation.


He got the mouth movements. Yes. Down perfectly. That was a great impression.


That was really good. Ben. This is Mary. Good morning, Michaeline, above 18. Wake up. Come on, it's time to get up. Time to go get some breakfast, coffee's on. Breakfast is on. One, yes, yes, dinner with you was absolutely wonderful last night, I just hope Tom is taken care of you like he said he would. You know, it's hard to do the things that I could do to you with one arm, you know, one leg.


Anyway, I got to go my cleanable 18 by hoodie, by t shirt, by my queen above 18. Have a lovely day. Go to bed, Venmo. Go to PayPal on the address. Give me your Social Security number. All right. Queen above eighteen. Have a lovely day Michalina both eighteen.


Good can I. I was great Mary can I tell you when I know that something is like has legs and like pops on on any of our shows is when women get. Yes you're right.


Like my injury I know is viral because women comment and they're like damn you got fucked.


Like they like once women get involved. So teratomas then you know that something the top that is so true. We don't like to get into the the action.


Yeah. Yeah. Like really resonates. I mean, I have women making like the meanest me.


It's not like like this is a lady. Yeah.


Because usually it's guys, you know, guys and guys are the ones that. I mean, that usually comment, that critique you that like all that comes from men, but when it breaks into women for our show and our world, it's like it's that's the.


Yeah, Heather, fix it, Heather. Fix it. She's a great, great stuff.


She does some savage. Yeah, she does great.


This chick, by the way, let me tell you what I really like about her. Yes. She did the drawn out, long, repetitive nature of it. She got the background perfectly. I mean, I think this is like identical to what the king has, right?


Yeah, well, definitely hovering over it. Yeah.


And yeah, she just nailed it and she said, yeah, she had good, good points and Mike did great. I don't know if he can do what. I only got one arm. That's great. That's great. Who do we have here. This is Rosewarne.


OK. And to wake up my queen. Come on, my queen, above 18, open my beautiful wife. There you go. Duetting it, you are so beautiful. I just love my queen above 18.


Fantastic. Well, good morning. All right, McWane, I'll go down and put your breakfast on, I'll get you some nice hot cup of coffee. You go take a shower and I'll meet you in the kitchen. I love you to my queen. But I will see you in a little bit. Oh, man, yes, you look beautiful. This is another one you got to see. I'm talking a little bit. Wow, that's really good.


He did a duet.


So the screen is split if you're listening as the king gives his speech, this young man was just smitten with it, just rolled around in his blanket, just so happy.


And he's shirtless, too. Yes. This is brilliant. That was really fun. Here's another one that's really funny. A King POV from James. Ready? Yeah.


Good morning. My queen is about 18. I have a bone to pick with you liberals out there who keep calling the king creepy. I don't understand what it is about my videos you could possibly find creepy. I'm just trying to get legal consent in Queens above the age of 18 to send me videos privately. And you keep harassing me. Grow up to the point.


That's very good, James. And I love the the person who smothered in suffering in the background was a really nice the queen above 18 behind him.


Um, do you know who made that video? Can you tell me who made the video? The, um, the one that I sent you from the once like. Yeah.


Yeah. So those are really great. Thank you for sending them and keep sending those and you know. So did you get a lot of compliments.


Your queen above 18. Oh, listen, it was a crowd pleaser. The mommies really took to it. I got a lot of people out in public.


You know, you walk around, people were like, hey, it's a really nice sweater.


Well, they're like she has a really high opinion of herself to call herself a queen. And good morning, people like that. I said good morning with my sleeve and stuff like that.


It was really nice, you know, like Amazon Smile and the fun.


And I'm going to start wearing the sweatpants. So it's going to be a complete outfit. I'll put it out.


So. Yeah, yeah. OK, so you don't like watching my injury, but this one was really funny, Frankie Ippolito at Frankie IPE, I just saw this on Twitter and we had to, like, mute part of it for the YouTube part.


So if you want to see the way that it's made that he made it, you got to go to my Twitter and you can see or his Twitter to see it. But here's a he went and found this. He said he remembered this and I didn't even remember this. So it made me laugh. But you're going to see the injury to. All right.


So when you wish you could switch places with for a day, I don't know. I mean, when you live to be able to dunk just anyone that can dunk.


So they got muted because he he threw the curb music in there.


So that was really funny. I was super funny. He got very funny. But what I like best was his laugh. Yeah.


He's like, he's like, yeah, why don't do that to him I think. How is he doing. He goes. No, I mean, tell me what you're seeing, you looked really handsome on that, Larry King.


That was a pretty handsome. That was a handsome day. I know a jacket.


The color was really good on you. Really? That blue really popped. Makes your eyes come out nicely. I like that. Yeah.


Oh, they you know how he never. He never.


How do you get a job here. Fuckface stops contributing to my camera through the streets you faggot.


I mean I have to say for somebody who's passed away, they contribute. He's contributed more to our show than anybody. He's amazing. He's amazing. The fat smoker, bad smoker, apparently stopped into a newspaper's like the office of a small town newspaper and was like, hey, they had something to say to them.


I've never seen this. I just saw the little blurb here about it. What does he find?


I thought you said he wasn't here and stuff like that because he just got back today. He doesn't look very busy in there. Well, with you.


Oh, hi, Steve. Your brother. And nice to meet you. Woody. OK, I'll be here soon. I'm a retired CIA double agent for the Nebraska state.


Chooses the fact that he consistently says CIA double agent is so amazing.


Well into CIA double agent. I'm a Central Intelligence double agent. How does he come up with that shit?


And then he says Nebraska State Patrol. Completely different. Completely different thing. Well, he's a man. I was a police officer.


I mean, I was an agent for national intelligence.


He's everywhere. But hold on. I mean, how does he pick these battles? What could have possibly prompted he's out of his mind. He's just always into bullshit. Yeah. Yeah.


Your meth is just getting you going. Oh, so he's just. Yeah, he's always ready to go, you know.


And if you don't have a place to clean or a job to do, you're just like, I'm gonna stop by the newspaper and be like, I have a story. God, I've been taking cops down for a long time. I'm on my own for 17 years and I've done so many of them up. The bills. Conspiracy of cops have arranged for a series of weird people to attack my car as you see it out there, all smashed up.


No one's taking this story, brother. For a long time, I was thinking that maybe you guys would be honest and least lay something down in case I do get killed. I'm not interested.




Just just dismiss a retired CIA double agent with Nebraska State Patrol with a story like that, you're just going to be like me. I'm not interested in the most compelling story I've heard.


And he didn't even want to see if the facts were true or not. I didn't want any information. Yeah.


How do you turn down a story like that, that same energy as the guy at the car dealership that didn't want to sponsor Connell to drive a car? I know. Just not interested. You know, many papers you could sell on the story.


That story would be on fire, subsetting.


You wouldn't print nothing? No. What if they killed me, would you say? Well, tell that guy I don't know you. You don't know. OK, well, I'm a human being of America, am I? Don't matter at all. I, I'm just not interested. OK, well I maybe get that to you in case they do kill me. Would you like kill me. Would you be interested in it.


I can't tell you that. That's a that's a how would you say. Yeah. Like I was at my office. He said he was going to kill me. It's a good point.


Comedy is it's a good counterpoint. Would you be sad at all if I died? You know what, I think it's all back to Trump's business where the law is bought off, OK, and the news is Bahnhof to pay you off once you get out. OK, nobody pays me. No, nobody pays half. No, it is free. I'm free. You're free. OK, I have a nice day in. He's such a dick, he's a guy, so the newspaper guy.


Yeah, God, I got such a dictator, Donald. Yeah.


Peterson called Peterson called the Nebraska State Patrol. Colin Connell can't see any of the Peterson Peterson. I'm sorry if he made you angry or make you angry at all. No, I'm sorry.


I'm a reporter myself, Steve. OK, all right. OK. All right. Thank you. Thank you. I report everybody. OK. OK. OK. The name's Connell CEO and Alta Peterson. OK, got it. OK, who do you know you're going to see on my way. Oh nobody. Take it easy. You stamp the whole crew, cocksucker.


You just have the whole crew. Everybody got the baby rubber to you. Wow. Wow.


How scared would you be fired? CIA double agent for the Nebraska State Patrol.


How scared would you be if that guy came into your office and said that crazy shit you. Yeah. See, what happens is that guy. Now, the other guy, the newspaper guy is like, fuck, this guy has been in here, knows who's here, is unstable, is threatening.


Now what. And yeah.


And exactly. So now he's like. So we're going to be hiring armed security. Now, I know all Connell's really does is entertain and. Ruin people's lives. Way. Yeah, he's just annoying. Yeah, the real crime of like, you know, he's like a terrorist. Yes. No, like.


Like a terrorist. Like their ultimate goal of terrorism isn't just the the the moment, let's say, that the bomb goes off, it's that it's that it disrupts the way you live your life after it goes.


It's in your head forever. Yeah. Like, I don't know if I can go socialite's. I can go down to Times Square or, you know, I mean, like, yes, it's that it it just disrupts the way you want to live your life. And that's what Connel Peterson did to people thrives on.


Well, he was basically a essentially a nonviolent terrorist, like a terrorist of annoyance.


Do you remember when we had his first enemy, like his sworn enemy on? Yeah. And I remember early on the guy was like, yeah, you're such a fucking asshole. He was just yeah. He was basically saying telling us this, like the guy was just such an annoying piece of shit.


He was so annoying. He's so annoying. Yeah. And he's endlessly amusing. He says funny shit and wild shit but yeah.


Like the gas station just pulling up and being like such a dick following people that he thinks he's an agent. Yeah. The Asian lady. Remember Wang Twatt. Yeah.


Like is that like everywhere we saw white Shariat today. We did see a white Shariat today everywhere.


Once you see one, you see them everywhere, I know, you know, the government's putting them out there for sure, they're putting them out there for you to notice.


And January 20th, there's going to be a bunch of white chariot's in Washington, D.C. Y'all can come with us.


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You always do. But we also stopped to, uh, to watch. We actually watch Tristan Jazz just uploaded his injury video from that day. So the day that I got injured, I was playing we played to be won, Burton, AI versus Tristan. Then we were going to do one on one. But before that we did the dunk, which resulted in the injury. So Tristan's video, he's he's it's very sweet. He's actually very heartfelt.


Good kid. You know, he's so and he got me all the time. He text me. Does he seem genuinely stunned?


The footage of him watching you get injured was so it was so, you know, what's another like a real marker of, um, how how like nice people are? I get followed up by not just friends, but people I've met in the last month, like people have worked with, uh, people from hospitals, you know, rehab people like they check on you, people like Trista. I'm saying I just met and they every week or so they're like, how are you doing?


How's recovery? That's nice.


Is it really is it makes you feel like people really care. It's very it's very sweet. Know, what I liked is that in the video when you got injured, you go call nine one one and then call my wife, let her know I love you too. Sweet. Yeah, I knew that.


I knew that we had to let you know because you'd be like, are you coming home really. Not soon. Not for another month.


Jesus Christ. In a month. Oh. And nothing could segue way better out of that than this. Let's see here. I'm terrified.


That's pretty cool to see on the train if you're listening, there's a young man on the train who is fully licking a dirty boot like a a horse riding boot. And someone's recorded the guy looks really young. I mean, he looks like he's like 19, 20. I don't know, 21. Please tell me this is a New York subway.


I don't know where it is. It doesn't look like a New York subway. I want New York to take credit for this because this is pretty outstanding.


It doesn't look like a New York subway. Um, and that boot seems really dirty. I mean, it seems like something that Norm Summerton would do, you know.


Yeah. Like I was instructed by my mistress.


Maybe that's what this is. I will say again, of all fetishes, this one's probably the one of the easier ones to accommodate. Pretty harmless. You can do it yourself. You would wear your boots out on a nice, muddy, rainy day and now you've got a nice snack for your subway ride home.


I don't think anything upsets me more, though, than a dirty shoe. Like the idea that I would do the dirty shoe is very upsetting. Yeah, because I know that you walked. Like in this case, you know, mud, dirt, just filth, grimy piss, just anything that's on the ground is on a boot. It's just so horrible, so upsetting. I'd rather smell the fart panties, my brother.


Well, I don't know about that. That's a good question. So would you rather lick the boots or smell the three day fart and vagina smell? Smell the fart?


I it's a tough one.


He is really, by the way, he's not like kind of like, you know, he's not going like looking like he is fully devouring, eating muddy boots, the dirt.


Yeah. Now I mean I don't think. Oh I don't know if it. It's like and it is like he just found it, there's a boot here, take this on the ride out. But that's like I said, it's nice that he has a little snack for his ride. It is nice and it's easy to come by here. Sorry. Here's the other part that pisses me off about this.


Don't you want to jerk off right while you're doing this and now you can't?


That's a good point. How frustrating for him. So upsetting. You know, I mean. Well, this.


So what do you mean? Well, like this obviously excites him. This is arousing in a big way to the point where, like, he can't not devour the boot. So I'm assuming he's really ready to bust a load. Right.


And now he's like, oh, I got to know, how do you know this is sexual? Yeah. See that? Well, there's a there is a thing called PICA. Could you look that up? I think it's pica.


It's where people like to eat dirt or eat plaster inanimate objects. They shouldn't. Hmm. Yeah.


This is an eating disorder in which a person eats things not usually considered food. Young kids often put non-food items like grass or toys in their mouths because they're curious about the world around them. But kids with pica go beyond that. Sometimes they eat things that can lead to health problems. And this isn't just children I believe adults can have.


Yeah, I'm going to go with. This is definitely a sexual thing. OK, OK.


I don't think that he's just like mud tastes good. Yeah. His dick's rock hard right now.


Evan that's so odd to do it in public. Like he, he's so excited. He can't. You don't think his dick's hard.


No man. I think this is equivalent to like cracking a knuckle or something, you know. Yeah. I think this is more that, I think it's more like it.


He really likes the taste. He's mentally ill. What I don't think this is a dick thing.


You guys are both fully talked. If you don't really think it's a tech thing, what are you talking about?


I don't see the look of ecstasy. I see more satisfaction of like that taste. Not so good.


You guys are so off. The other guy's almost like you're one.


Hold on. The other guy with the panty snips was in ecstasy. Yeah, that was a big he was performing is performing. This is real.


This to me seems like he's hungry and he really is being satiated by the Durjan silly.


His dick is rock hard. This is what gets him off. The fact that you guys don't see it lets me know that you're. I just did. What are you shaking your head? It I just.


It does. This doesn't feel sexual to me. Doesn't feel sad.


Yeah. Because it's not sexual but it is then all know all of his clothes are on. Well yeah. He's on the subway. I know. That's what I'm talking about. How frustrating it must be to be this rock hard and you can't show Dick.


So he has enough restraint to not touch himself but not for strength, not eat the dirt off the boot. Hold on a second.


I don't want to talk to you anymore. Chris. Do you think this is a sexual thing for this man? I'm going to have to agree with everyone else on this. I don't think it's sexual. I don't check it plaster. We didn't think that was sexual. Like, this is just like her. His version of plaster.


See, and Zolo agrees with you. So it's like pony play. Yeah, because this is not a fucking moron.


Oh, so she's well, let's have I'm sure there are psychologists who watch this show, sex therapists. But tell us what it is. If you're a professional, can't believe you don't think this guy you know, because it's not a dick thing.


It's not a dick thing.


It is. It's not even debatable. This is a hundred percent Norm Summerton Lane. Yes, it is.


He seems so young to be this kink. Yeah. It's usually older perverts that are kinky bent and right into fulfilling. Sure. He's not all these young.


OK, so I guess his dick doesn't work. I just don't see young guys doing this kinky.


You don't know you're talking about 2000. Two thousand and one, he lost his two. Oh, no. That happened to me. It did.


That's my fear. I'm very worried that the other tooth is going to fall out soon.


That was pretty cool. Louie Gohmert Gombert.


I'm not sure how to stop it. Two thousand to three to swallow.


It may have maybe just put it in his lip, you know, like a dip and it's like a cube there but acknowledge it. I would acknowledge sorry my tooth just fall.


Yeah. I'd be like whoops, my tooth fell out guys. Yeah. Wow. Wow, that was cool. Yeah. Thanks for sharing. You got a lot of good vids there. They really came through this week. Yeah. Good stuff, huh. Yeah. This is a pretty cool guy that I saw online.


I sent this in. Is that you? Yeah, it's me, check out my body, it's pretty similar here.


Great, thanks. I love it. Great thing right here.


I'll take that son of God right here. John Jay Dodge. It's awesome. Yeah. Just riding down a busy street completely naked on your scooter, on your rascal.


It's like a mobility scooter.


It's like those. I think you should see a lot of NBA players use them. Is it a rascal, yeah. Oh, man, in that great world is great. He's like son of God. He's like happy with himself.


Yeah, I guess it's not illegal wherever he is.


Mm hmm. Mm. I had a great I got to see a confrontation or hear thing now we saw it on. It was so exciting.


I don't know if it's still in my stories or not because I may have just expired, but. Man, this was so great, I decided I was going to go and. Let's see, oh, oh, it might be in the older one. It's after this, it's before I know you might get there and then crank the volume up. Here you go. Here it is. The beginning here. Go to the beginning. It was so fun.


OK, how do you go back on stories? Just go just fighting. They're yelling at a guy through the house. This lady was yelling at this dude. He has a Russian accent, you know. I got to be professional. I believe that I can't cross the Street Strangler. Why did you lose me? My. Can I tell you something, rock hard right now, rock hard, Dick. Yeah, this is your bootlicking. Yeah.


You're eating your dirt right now.


This is one of the best experiences of my life. Yeah, it's so ridiculous.


You're so sick just by the other that she's taking a picture of the license plate right outside our house. It was great. I mean, OK, so so if you're wondering, like this was what I was able to put together, it wasn't an actual it was right outside the house, but it wasn't an actual neighbor.


What happened, at least what I assume happened when I put together is that somebody had some type of car issue and happened to be pulled over right in front of our house. So I was actually getting in the car and I was I really I don't really do stories that often, but I was like, I'm going to go get a coffee with my brace on my hand and my leg. And I'll just I'll just I'll just share a crippled adventure, you know?


Yeah. So because the whole ordeal for me to, like, get in the car, I got to swing this leg. I was like, yeah, you know, as I'm getting in the car, I hear like, well, why don't you realize that? I was like, what the fuck.


So that's where that video store I was literally the black guy voice, but that guy was Russian, the Russian. But the lady was. She's my lady. Yes. So what happened was. I start hearing that and I get so excited, I mean, literally sexually aroused right at the confrontation and I start listening. And so what happened was she's like, you're not being professional. And he was like, I am professional. And she goes, no, you're not.


And he he's like, all I told you is that I don't take cards and you're upset. And she's like, no, you cut it in. And then she's like, put it the way you found it. And he's like, I go now. And she was like, leave. And then she was like, take a picture of his license plate. And she was really, really upset. And so when I finally pulled out, I looked and it was like, yeah, she was in this vehicle and I don't know what he was fixing.


But according to like when I heard him say the dispute was over the fact that he doesn't take cards, he wanted cash and she was like, you're totally unprofessional.


You know, what's so funny about this whole thing is that I was on the airplane coming home and I rarely look at your stories.


Yeah, I do a lot of reposting. Yeah, I just I just not I don't really look at people's stuff too much.


I looked at your stories and I didn't have the audio on and I just saw the expression on your face and it was like, like you were lit up.




So much like in that booth. Yeah. Yeah. It was like you were sniffing those three day panties that you found the chocolate stain. And I definitely went for a run in these.


Yeah. And I'm like he's never of this happy. I mean not even when we took our four year old son to Disneyland for the first time, he was that happy.


He was as happy as I was listening.


Like, you're never this happy around us, ever, ever. Not even at your best, like not even doing stand up when I said that's your happiest. That makes me.


Yeah, but not even that like that for you.


I don't know that it's like titillation in hearing other people fight and the drama.


And Gosse you love the high and I found, I found some brothers in arms because I got a lot of people messaging me from those stories a lot. And yeah, a few people were like, I'm as excited as you. I was a lot of Latin people told me that they were excited. I know there's a lot of Latin people were like, so so he was like telling me like, I'm the same. I love this kind of shit.


Um, and then some people being like, why are you so happy?


Yeah, because truthfully, because I like I grew up in an apartment complex where people yelled at each other every now and then like that. And it's terrifying. Yeah. When you're a little kid and you hear people being like partner or in other languages. So I think when I hear that, I'm like, oh, I don't like that.


Like, I don't want to be near that. You go, I'm going to go and find it. I'm going to get as close as I can to it and then I'm going to report on it.


Yeah, I was excited. You love it. I love it. Mervat. You are so funny with that, I just I do I love I don't want to I didn't want an actual, like, fight harm to take place, but a confrontation, you know, like an actual verbal confrontation. I mean, that is so I love being out in public and hearing a verbal altercation.


Are you are you ever afraid that it might get turned on you? Because sometimes when those nut bags are yelling at each other and they see that you're watching, they will be like, fuck are you looking at?


Cause you're like because there's a there's a skill set that I've developed, OK, to OK to watching without looking like I'm watching, you know, the whole it's a whole routine.


Oh yeah. I watch. Everything OK. Yeah. You know, when he turns, you could probably hit him. Oh, my God. Because I really excite you. Learn that lesson early when you're watching people fight, like especially on the subway or whatever. Like, you don't you don't look directly right now.


You got to do it. You got to be a little slick about like if you hear people starting to argue you should side. I am. Yeah. Look for a position where you can look, but it's not so blatant, you know, like a crowded area is great to watch an altercation and you can kind of blend in, you know.


Yeah. If it's not a crowded area, you do want some distance, though.


You don't want to be like right there, you know. Yeah. I mean, the only other type of altercation like that would be like people, you know, that's not as fun. You know, that's not as fun.


No. Because I think the strangers.


But you're not emotionally tied to one, but feels like there's a story there. You know, the best one I ever heard was in a couple houses back and it was our neighbors. Remember the two ladies? Yeah. And were you there for that? I was there for a number of them because they so there was a lesbian couple.


Yeah. That they used to really fight. Oh boy. Really fight and and say horrible things. And we lived in the type of neighborhood where extremely close your neighbors are like eight feet away and a lot of open windows.


Summertime man, they would say brutal threat.


She was like, I'm going to buy you a plane ticket and send you home tomorrow. Yeah.


Did you fucking hit me? Let me break it down and beat each other the same in the same area, another neighbor who really didn't like his ex.


That's the sad thing about the whole situation, is when it's like he was like, I think we're going to raise his fucking pussy. Like, I was like, oh, my God, talking about this kid.


And I was like, dude, they see now that I like when it's a phone conversation and it's one sided and like you can you can make out one side, you imagine.


Right, the other line. Yes. Yes. A phone like a bank phone performance can be fun.


Yeah, I was. Let me tell you something right now.


Yeah. Yeah. When I was in the airport yesterday, there was a girl, you know, those girls that people I do believe it's an aspect where they talk what their bottom lip down. And she was like. I mean, whatever, like he's not there spiritually and I'm not going to wait for him because I'm worth it and I'm too good, you can just hear her spiraling and you're like, you're just such a horrible person. You're going to die alone because she was so shitty.


She's like, uh, I mean, it's such a fucking dumb broad move. Yeah. To be like I'm special with it and like, you know, if you need to say it out loud, I'm worth it.


Well, it was definitely one of those girls who was like, you know, and it's I deserve well, I can't find the right person just because my standards are too high.


Or the woman who's like. He's intimidated by my success. Now, how funny I am now.


You're like, OK, never. Yeah, he's intimidated by me. I know it now. Here's what he is.


He doesn't really like you know, you're annoying and like, nobody's as good as my dad. That's the problem. We'll go and blow your dad.


If you look a bit like your dad's dick, yeah, so so Dr Jessica, talk to Jessica and I were listening to this woman and I wanted to see her.


So we traded places so that I could sit in that seat, that you did the same thing as me. And you're acting like I don't even like this kind of stuff. I agree. That is exactly the same type of thing. I agree.


It's the fun of watching people who are not. Well, you're right.


You got when someone struggling with something to be like, I want to watch this.


Yeah, you got me. You're right. It's also it's also not that different than watching me break my arm.


It's not that different. It's like you're just what you're just watching a different type of destruction to a human being. It's a fair.


There are so many memes about you getting injured. I know I can't open my phone. I know. I'm like, do these people like us?


I'm not even sure if people really like us. Here's the thing.


It went beyond it. It went beyond our world, the injury meme. So, my gosh, there are people who I think do like us who make it, even our fans.


I'm like the prolific Meems, like us anymore. Does Dr. Clava, Mr. Clavicles, a fan? Yeah, well, this is brutal.


I think they're going for the comedy of it. I really do. But it also went outside of of like the the kind of podcast comedy world that we are, you know, the orbit of. And then when it goes beyond it, you can tell because it's like. People like, you know, they don't they don't know who it is, they're just like, look at this dude, eat shit like, you know, it became his own thing and like where I'm at.


Tom, here's the thing is that Pozzuoli doing yoga.


I want to Barabbas FROB. And it doesn't feel like he's my best friend and I'm not waiting for that, you know, I mean. Yeah, don't wait. Then I go fuck your dad dated Demi again. Who's pronoun is them?


They that is so that's a weird one. Has got to be tough when you raise girls the bully for like if you're if you're the dad to be like you want to raise like a obviously a well-rounded complete, you know, um, human being.


But like there's, there's a way like you see when that, when the girls like that is thought of that I always saw that I was special.


You're not I mean, you're special because a human being, but like.


You're not special, special, you know, hey now, and that's that's going to be what holds you back, like we saw that on that fucking awesome dating show, the, uh, the Indian dating show only goes about there was the girl here in America who was like, no, but that's the girl.


That's the girl at the airport yesterday. Were there the worst? And here's the thing. She just has a she's just super insecure and scared.


Yeah. And she puts out this. I'm too good for people. Yeah.


And like, nothing is good enough for me. But, you know, that that's actually it's a it's a front. It's like a barrier that she's manifested and put up to protect herself from getting hurt. But what you end up doing is just keeping everybody away.


Yeah. And those girls always have an unreasonable list of all the list quality areas.


He can't he can't have.


He's got to be six, three or taller, has got to have veneers. He's got to make over 350. Like, who the fuck are you?


I know he's got to be in perfect shape and have a six pack.


I like abs. Yeah. And I haven't seen mine ever, but I love abs.


They're all pigs. They don't deserve abs. Yeah.


And they're like they have these ridiculous fucking standards like you guys got. The guy's got to be a rich model.


Yeah. That's what they want. What are you bringing to the table, you fucking basset hound.


Oh my gosh, I'm so mad. But you know who dates the guys with abs. Girls with abs. Well ABS usually roll together. ABS do roll together. That's very rare that you see one with abs unless one's a younger girl. Yeah. And then the guy's like a millionaire. Sixty year old guy like that Gyung lucky guy.


Yeah well he's got abs but he's got abs. Got great abs. You're right actually. Fucking solid body.


I have to modify this theory. Right. Your original theory might be right abs for the abs. Yeah. But not always.


Not always. Not in the south.


There's a lot of dudes like that's something that you see a lot like the petite girl with the big guy. That's a very that's a standard thing. OK, yeah, you can see that a lot.


But I think fitness roles with fitness absolutely feel like the woman there can be kind of fit chick with.


Add a shape guy you see a lot.


You don't see the opposite a lot you don't see really in shape guy with out of shape.


No, I was just going to point out that we've seen it on vacation. It's an anomaly. It's noteworthy.


We saw OK, do you remember where I know where you're going.


Yes. I know you're going because she was an animal, an animal. This woman's manatee was out like just like waddling.


Yeah, I mean, she had to be.


Tom, you're not being being very body positive. She you're so fucking fat. She was probably three seventy five seriously, like really on the line of I mean, serious health issues going to die soon. And then that guy was probably six one and I'm not exaggerating.


A hundred and sixty pounds maybe. ABS dad. He wasn't, he was super lean.


He was like just straight up and down you know, and. She was like. Harold. And she's laying on one of the like the beach chairs, and she's like sunblock. And then he would apply sunblock all over her body and I forgot this all over her body. And then she was like, I want to get in the water.


So he had, like, pull her up here to hoist her up out of the chair, out of the chair than he would like. He would like dangle fish, if you like.


And he got her into the water and then she would she's she's like laying in the water as like, you know, what's the shoreline? So the water comes up. So there's like a bank. So like the sand goes a dipped a little and there's like a shelf. Yes. So she was waddling, she wanted to show and she's like in this place she's laying in it.


Right. So the water would come up but it doesn't engulf you. But after a while that water comes up and it kind of moves the shoreline, know, like the tide goes up.


So then she's like she's like screaming because she wants to get up and she can't get up. She can't stand. That's how big she is.


And so he came up and he's really struggling because she's really big, you know, and the water makes you heavier when you're pulling somebody up out of the water gets heavier.


I was you know, I was writing about this, about how the opposite is usually true. The opposite is women will be so forgiving of a man's physical flaws. And you'll see in something. I mean, I think it's easy to dismiss it as like, yeah, well, that guy, you know, has money or something. I think it's actually goes further than that. I think a lot of times, you know, you'll it can be a not wealthy man who still has the woman who because what better people women are better human fucking being.


That's exactly right. Make children. That's exactly right. Yeah. And men don't men aren't like. Well, I mean, with the exception of this anomaly that we haven't forgotten about in over a decade, we think about him every day. Yeah. Yeah.


This guy was like, yeah, she was fucking three times what I weigh. And he was like, I'll rub your sunblock on and and then I'll get you out of the water.


And I remember. So what happened was to get her out of the water, they had to do a one, two, yes.


Three, and they had to go on the momentum of the wave and the timing.


And it wasn't just him like to get her off. It was somebody like somebody else helped to, you know.


And the best part, too, I remember, is like I think they they would do a hair braiding and foot massages on the beach. Remember that? Yes.


And so, like the like the locals, it was like a little business side business.


And then that whale got her hair braided and feet rub and feet. Right. I just remember, like, these poor women have to read this guy's thing funny and disgusting.


You couldn't pay me enough now to rub her feet.


I'd be like, if you're like, all right, I'll give you a thousand dollars. I'm like, no, no, dude, I want to do it nasty as hell. Is there dirty mud on them?


Yeah, I hate to say it. I don't think that we should be body positive when you're that obese. It's definitely not.


I don't think we should be very positive at all. I mean, you know, I've actually been working out a lot, trying to get in shape. And what I keep hearing in my head, which I think is good, is you're not good enough. Yeah. Uh, do better. Your gross. Yeah. And it's motivating 100 percent.


You know, I'm not like. This is the temple you were born with and celebrated. Fuck that, right. You know, right. I agree. I mean, I've been on this covid diet since the December 20th. When I started, I lost my sense of smell and taste. Yeah. And I'm going to keep fucking doing it. Yeah. Because the self flagellation is what keeps it going. You don't want to look fat. You don't want to be fat anymore.


Don't eat. Yeah. Just stop eating. Mm hmm. It's pretty cool, right? You got to love yourself no matter who you are or what you look like. No, that's not true either.


You should want to look better and be better. Um, I agree. This is pretty cool. This is a guy who apparently stole somebody's phone. Right. And then went. On live on the phone owner's Facebook page. Oh, my God, I just get this straight. Let's get this straight from the rep on K2. Sex abuse. I don't. I needed some money, so it's Tiss and one hundred and fifty dollars plus one was not I.


I stole this phone. It was unlocked. I noticed my brother, the fucking kid. I stole my mom.


This is great stuff. This is what I'm talking.


You fixed up no rehearsal for the stealing shit. I stole this phone book. Fifty bucks fifty for that one, huh. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I know if you don't want somebody else's, he's got the face tats.


Yes, I noticed that a lot on the cheek. So that's something that I feel like I don't want to label generalized get into a stereotype. I feel like people with full face tattoos are likely to steal your stuff.


I feel like everybody that we've shown with full face tattoos on this show has stolen something before.


You know, that's a correct assumption, Tom. Historically, they've been either drug addicts, they've done crystal meth in the past or are drug dealers. Yeah, yeah. Generally, doctors, lawyers, accountants don't get face tattoos.


Not full face. Yeah, yeah. Or Insane Clown Posse entertainers. Yeah.


Oh is it seven plus point seven plus buck fifty. Ortiz's my nigga bucks at the artisan. What's up. What's up. Shit shit shit shit shit shit.


So he wants one hundred and fifty dollars for the phone and he stole or ten Xanax bars. Oh yeah. Ten, ten Xanax pills. Yeah. Oh I got, I got those right here.


You can get that the phone right now homie. My phone's yours. Is that how much Danny is on the streets.


One hundred and fifty one milligram bars. Do you know that. Fifteen at fifteen a bar. So I'm like that sounds right to you. I don't match it up with fucking Zanies.


Yeah, that's it.


Do it the Joey Diaz way. Take a thousand milligrams of THC, then you take a baby Xanax, take the edge off.


It's perfect. You're like, that's really solid advice. I'm sure doctors would approve of your advice.


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All right, before we go get in, just what we're getting to right now, we're getting to yours. I heard you were looking for me.


Here I go.


I'm so sad. She's off to talk to the bitch. Here I go. Yeah, she was great. She was she was really something special. She was. Here we go. OK. I wish you liked me as much as I like you. I think you're a nice woman, your gorgeous woman, your prey. I want to date you, I want to go out with you, I would keep you nice. Can I tell you something?


Yeah, that's super relatable. I mean, everybody can't everybody connect with that. That's why I chose it. Yeah. I mean, this this actually makes me think about, like, high school, you know. Yeah. Having a crush. You know, I like you just put it out there, which you like me put it out there. I think that's a really sweet one. I agree. That's why I liked it. It was simple.


It was straightforward. I liked his angling. I liked his message. It was I want to date you. Yeah. It's what you it's it's basically. The better it's it's the more. Sain version of Good Morning, Julia. Yeah, it does. And it had those vibes to it, too bright, but without being aggressive. Yeah.


Hi I'm looking to get married. I believe in marriage. I'm the only guy I think that kind of believes in marriage. That tells you a lot about me. If you're interested, let me know.


That's really a good message to put out. I think I would do it Maskell's. Right, so I think having the mask on so she can see what she's buying. Sure, yeah. Again, it's a small faux pas. You should wear your mask. Not when you're making take talks alone in your house, maybe. Yes, and also very strange to to sign off on marriage with someone whose face you haven't seen. Sure, yeah, sure.


But hey, he is an anomaly on tech talk. The man who wants to get married. So, ladies, you heard it here. You heard it here.


OK, just wait, daddy, daddy, wait, wait.


I mean, are you even a dad if you don't try to touch the bride when it's too hot? Are you even a dad? It's a perfect dad talk so perfect that he went back multiple times. We see it again.


It's so cute because, like, I was like, that's hot. Oh, that's too hot. That's too hot. Just wait. Daddy, daddy, wait. Just wait. Too hot. Hot.


I mean, how many times have you said this to your dad? Oh, man. Yeah, and then as I became a dad, I do this.


Oh, that's hot, hot, hot. Also. Also in the mouth you go to hot, hot, hot, and then you go another bite. Yeah.


You've always done that. Yeah. It's like when a bear eats the honey and there's bees in it and he just lets the bees dig his mouth. He's like, it tastes good. Yeah. Yeah. This one's I just love this one. And the simplicity. The sweetness.


Oh. Oh look what she's wearing. I see it now. This lady she posted a bit and she always posts, um, she's wearing the queen above 18 t shirt. Not the hoodie that you have. Yes. The black white. But I'll say that this lady Canmore.


Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful design. This lady posts a lot of sexy stuff. Right. So very sexy.


So this woman, I forget her name. She's in her 70s and she's got a smokin hot bod and she loves to show it off. And she and her husband like to make provocative talks. Sexy films then. Oh, that's great. It's a perfect dynamic.


And she's showing off her rock and but like you said, hot. That's right. The husband, I think gets off on her showing off her body on ticktock. Yeah. And this one duets, a lot of the popular, uh, people on talk. So she seems to love it.


Still taking applications for a sugar mama. Sugar daddy. I enjoy lobster in fine dining and I'm great company and I'm a conversationalist. You can see that I never vonzell things to say.


Mm. I mean it's cool that I kind of feel like it looks like me but also.


I love that he's taking applications, right, like, hey, there's a there's a line at the door just just in case you're trying to get in.


Yes, he's exclusive, but not so exclusive because he's taking male and female applicants.


That was also a nice note. Anyone who wants to pay for my shit. Yeah. Your girl your boys pay for my stuff. Really cool, man. That is cool.


It's a big deal. I know, but it's a mess. Know a if used for the best in the NFL. I like to put my head in the sand and get rid of it once a week. Duramax actually every two weeks recycling because for station identification this time all your listeners build down wall football on ninety six point nine I think.


And yeah, we put a wall between Washington and Minnesota and what I want. OK, and it's pretty marginal. So what drew you to share this one with us? I just liked that this guy was such a mess and like, this is real. That person exists in the world. So depressing. Yeah, I believe he is in Minnesota. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like a indoor vibs indoor. That's how you are.


If you. You're inside a lot. You make your old own vitamin D for too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're drunk. So I thought that was kind of yeah. I mean, these are always a roller coaster of emotions, that one I wasn't such a fan of. Let's see what's next. OK, you know, so if you inbred motherfuckers in Springfield, Missouri are watching this, fuck you. I'm looking for a fight.


You're the dumbest, most retarded, ignorant, inbred motherfucking cocksuckers ever. I've been to a lot of places.


I've been to a lot of. Wow. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I had a great time in Springfield, Missouri.


Did you? Yeah. You like, actually, so I'm I'm, uh, I'm doing dates to work out the new hour and I'm launching a tour hopefully, um, later in the year and I told my agent, hey, you've got to throw Springfield on the tour. No.


Yeah, but you can meet this guy there, too. I just hope he doesn't fight me, or at least I hope I'm more healed by the time I see him.


Yeah, I hope he sees me like, where are you from? I'm like, I'm in Springfield right now. It's like, bitch, let's throw down.


I think it's an interesting use of Tic TAC. I haven't seen this before where someone just opens up an invitation for a fight. I wonder if he had any takers. I don't know. I don't know, but he's really aggressive and he really hates Springfield right now. OK, everybody, I want you to stick this with what you use as a piss jug. All start. I use a rock star sugar free because it fits my Willie, OK?


I can use it at work discreetly. Put it under the desk here and.


Have you ever heard of that? You can just use it at work. You could have used that in the hospital. Why didn't you ask for a rock piss jug? That's true. I should have been like, why are you giving me these drugs that are made for this? I'd rather have a rock star. It's a really good point. Yeah, you know, you just get up and go at work.


He's like, Oh, I got work to do. Let me tell you, when I worked in an office, getting up to go to the bathroom was basically a nice chance for me to have a break. Of course, that's the best part.


Yeah, I would sit like you would love when your body got to go to the bathroom. You're like, Oh, thank God. Yeah, get up.


I would go and just play Tetris on my phone for a half an hour, taking a shit course. This goes out to all the emo girls who think they might be having a bad Christmas. Why don't you sit on my lap and tell me what you want and I'll give you whatever you need.


Yeah, so this is just like the horny guy plea, and I wonder if it works. No, no. Someone's got to like it. Yes. Someone. But it's not a good move. Yeah, it's gross. So this one is fun.


I actually speak in tongues. I speak in tongues daily. And it's a gift of the Holy Spirit. I will initiate it by opening my mouth with the will to speak it. But the Holy Spirit forms the words, get it. And it's not just gibberish. It comes out in what I can recognize as Hebrew and Aramaic, Aramaic, other words that are in languages that I can't distinguish, although I have been able to recognize some words and look them up to find out what they mean.


So I use it as a prayer language. It's meant as a prayer language. And if it's used in a public forum, there's meant to be an interpreter and the Lord will speak through it to a group of people that happen to me. One time when we were praying for a ministry event, one of the youth recognized what I said and interpreted it and shared it with us. And it was a beautiful word about how the Lord was going to minister to the children.


I got it at one hundred percent. I know who she voted for. OK, can I ask you something?


Yeah. Would you rather hear me out? You need to have a weekly standing dinner. With either this check and it's every week you've got to listen to this horseshit or the guy who shows up in his muddy boots and then he licks and eats his muddy boots in front of you and he talks to you about his muddy boots and how it makes him come so hard.


Muddy boots. Not even a question. Wow, muddy boots, muddy boots, it is amusing, like it's fascinating. You know, I get to ask questions about do you like when there's a lot of mud that's a little bit just a hint of, OK, that was too easy.


What about this lady and the Demi Gorgan non binary guy and he talk and he talks to you about his PR..


Yes, I'm learning Aramaic. What's more annoying, right. The guy is warning me. Yeah.


Because she, like she's full of shit. And I would just keep asking questions that I know she's going to talk in circles around and it might be like a game. He's more annoying.


Yeah. He really it's too thought out.


His shit is like. Yeah. All right, Nadav, who are you having dinner with every week. You got to listen to Demi Gorgan pronouns or this lady.


I feel like if I talk to this lady, she'll like, keep me in my keep me on my toes and like, oh, I didn't think of stuff like that.


But then the other one I think is just going to get me upset. And it's the same.


I would want to kill him. Like, she seems entertaining. He seems upset.


Yeah, exactly. That's a good distinction. And then, like, there would be a point where you go, you know what? And she's like, what? You go, that's not Hebrew course. No, it is. And you're like, actually, I knew a few words.


I was waiting for her to actually spit. I could tell you if it is or isn't, I'm guessing it's not. I could assure you that it's not.


How does she know my kings above eighteen? Here is the shirt that you guys have been asking for. I just had one printed up class arm kings, army, protect and respect the Queen. They are available right now if you'd like to order one. The shirts are thirty dollars plus ten dollars. Shipping and handling what. That's a price.


Three parties. I have got my logo, my king and queen logo on the right upper corner. You guys have a beautiful day. Enjoy, all you have to do is go to my King and Queen's above 18 Gmail dot com.


Send me your address, address your name. How many guys, how many. Then go to my Venmo and the money. My Venmo is on my front page from my bio lickings twains above a ten.


I love you all from a strictly from a business perspective, this is a really good way to do it.


So the Venmo is on his Tick-Tock profile, but you have to email him first.


The information size address his name, how many you want, and then go back to his Tic-Tac profile.


It makes it's just horrible business sense. Yeah, but I've just that being said, I've ordered for the whole studio.


So you guys are beginning and it's cool that they're forty dollars a pop guide.


There's a fucking James Perse shirt. Jesus Christ. No. And like dirty panties go for yeah.


For less including shipping sort of a trip. I fucking hate the way I come across some video. Sound like I'm half retarded. Don't get offended. I love retards fucking boy. I'm nervous but I fucking have something to say. Yeah.


And then he stops talking. I was it at a really good one is like a little bit nervous.


I got some to say.


Help you post this one in the in the story. Did not I say this just. But now why an exclusive look.


You know, because this is really cool. Your stories are like a ride. Like I forget, like a few days ago, by the way, I go to Christmas stories and I go in there and I'm like, man, because it'll be like something like like inspiring and then something funny and something really sad and some crazy and something funny.


I'm like, this is like an adventure.


It's like a movie, but it's the whole thing's three minutes and then a puppy.


Yeah. And then like a cute polar bear eating a carrot and then I like it. Cremation death story and then then a car accident and no ghosting like a sexy 70 year old lady and the narc.




You think we want your sweat smelling falls in our face with your gross pig soaked dick in our mouth. No. But we do it because we care. She's right about that. That was just truth. You know, I'm saying that's what I'm talking about, though, is just the right.


I didn't know where that was going. I didn't know if that was going to be like a joke payoff where, like, she goes. We do. Or, you know, I mean, yeah.


And she was like, no, we care. Yeah, man, I tell you this.


This is also, by the way, a D.M. like she posted this, but this is meant for a person. For a person, for I definitely. Yeah. What I like about certain topics is that they don't start the traditional way. For instance, some people like to start their talks with what I'm really excited about or those of you.


Someone out there needs to hear this. You know, those aren't going to be that good or funny. Yeah, because they're following the format. It's got to be raw like that. Just a lunatic. I like it. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you appreciate my talks. Really good. Finally.


Good afternoon, Aqualung. I like the capture, that's the best part. So for those of you just listening, it's a it's a black dude and he's in like a graduation in the sun. He's got he's bald and he's bald and his head is super shiny and looks hot as fuck. And then his like girlfriend is rubbing his bald head butt really aggressively, like giving it a rubdown.


Actually, it's it seems like it's like the what is it you think of the word, um, like foreplay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like it's like she's really rubbing it.


It's just meant for the bedroom the way that she's doing it. And the caption is, this is stressing me out, which is so accurate, like watching that it made me stressed out to. This is crazy. Oh, sure, it's harder and harder and harder. So that was a little eighth grade girl hanging from a bar and then, come on, a grown man. I know it says that punching her in the stomach. She's an eighth grader.


That's a woman. Right? Eighth grade volleyball athlete, it says. Yeah, but that's not an eighth grader.


Right. Meirong definitely doesn't look like an eighth grader to me. No, it looks like an adult.


Well, the point is, it's a grown older guy. Yeah. Punching a young girl in the stomach and she's like, harder, harder.


So it's just gross. Kind of weird. So for those of you just listening, this is male foot fetish videos, I stumbled upon these this week. This is a man in the bathtub and he's rubbing his feet with the bubbles in the bubble bath seductively for the other people who love foot fetish. And he's showing you the undersides of his man feet.


I don't think anything upsets me more.


No. And he's breathing heavily, really just so menacing in his tub, looks like it's from the 70s because it's that old gross green color. It is the men feet, men's feet are just so, so disgusting and revolting. I know it's like I get so upset, even just a man in flip flop from, like, same saying it's so gross.




Put that shit away bra. However, that shit up, especially when I see people in flip flops on airplanes like what are you doing, don't bring your nasty foot on a guy's foot. It's just I don't know. Even if it's not gross, it's still gross.


Well, because they're always ashie on the bottom or different colored on the bottom. You'll manicure, pedicure, your shit. Nothing. It's all white and crusty.


So nasty.


If I get upset now and now, I'm fucking believable. It just never fucking into this fucking shot. I get 14 months. I can't fucking wait to be done. There's a fucking clue to the public. What about you assholes. You are. That was a fucking awesome one. Thank you. So that reset my equilibrium, that puts you back on tick tock.


Yeah. So that was a place on losing it right there. He's got 14 months. It's like a movie like Bruce Willis. I'm tired.


It's time to retire the buddy cop premise that was so upset I don't blame.


Could you imagine dealing with the public, these fucking idiot scumbags fucking losing his mind? I would go crazy being a police officer.


No, I have a bucket filled with ice, but it does not compare to the animals who are freezing to death. They still hope to be protected by these police who are starving all across this store. I have one question. What? Why aren't the police protecting corporations and billionaires who are contributing to environmental degradation and freezing innocent animals to death? Wow. I will be out of here in less than five minutes. My suffering is nothing. Nothing compared to what Whole Foods, John Mackey.


Just people inflict on animals and they label it as humane.


I'd rather date all the other people, you know, even the man in the tub. OK, wow. Really the that.


Oh my God. OK, hold on. Imagine how imagine what a dinner is like with her.


Of course we do read a vegan restaurant. Let's just start there some already like I don't know I don't want to fucking any of it.


I was going to say that and then she starts with her protest speech.


I'll be like, oh well I'm not sure what the correlation is between Whole Foods and Jeff Bezos freezing. Well, she said the environment, they were other billionaires.


So she was saying Macchi, Bezos, everyone is is contributing to freezing animal suffering and freezing of animals. Yeah. OK, so OK.


Would you rather marry Ice Bucket Girl here sitting in the ice protesting or 90 day fan, say, the Russian poodle girl who's out in the outskirts of Washington. Ukrainian. Ukrainian, yeah, Ukrainian.


And the hold on. Don't forget when she's at dinner with him and he's enjoying his steak. Yeah, she's doing the whole. Why don't you try not eating meat for three weeks and see how that feels.


She sucks like that, but also.


That's not so she was like, OK, one week on, one week off with meat and fish, next week you eat fish and chicken.


I'd be like, OK, I mean, it's not going to it's not bad for me, but it's annoying that someone is policing. It sucks.


But she's less annoying for sure than this bitch.


You've got to be kidding me. This one is so unbearable. Just insufferable. No fun. Oh, God, no fun.


I bet you think you're a thing. You go to you say you're like you're trying to bang her, right? I'm trying to bangar. She's like, I'm protesting Whole Foods that I'm like into of bang this fucking weird chick. So you stand out there with your sign and she's like, you came and you're like, yeah, that means a lot to me to, you know, doing that fucking.


Walking around, pretending you give a shit. Who are they freezing? I mean, yeah, I mean, so yeah, you do your fucking protest. She sits in the ice bath. You're like, all right, let's go back to my house.


I got a heater, you know, warm up a little, warm you up.


Right. Right. So then, you know, she keeps talking and you keep you know, you're feeding her fucking whatever soup and wine here. Shove it up so I can warm up. Got you.


I got your vegan cruelty free wine and she gets a little Lucy Goosey. You give her a hug, you still cold. You know, your dick gets hard. A couple minutes later, it's in her mouth. So my point is. You feel like, all right, we got here, right? Next morning, how does she wake up? You know, what did you know in the Amazon right now they're cutting down and you're like, are you going to fucking do this every day?


Yes, yes, yeah. Every day there's a new form of suffering that hasn't been addressed and protested enough yet. It is. This is like just the most exhausting, exhausting.


And it's not just going to be your eating habits. It's going to be are you wearing vegan cruelty, free shoes, everything?


Are you all going to be there? Anticorporate clothing? Are you are you voting the right way?


Are you're driving environmentally conscious car? This is in San Francisco, too, by the way. I can tell by the buildings in the background. Yeah. Yeah. And usually these girls have stinky boxes.


I went, oh yeah. I mean, even out of the ice bath, you can, you can know stinky.


Yeah. And I feel like any vegan protester girl has the stinky badge that goes right out saying.


Right, yeah. I see what the guy's vegan guys or whatever. Here's what I would say. If you care about humanity, your pussy stinks.


OK, that is a universal truth, my friend. I'm in, yeah. So this guy just enjoys latex way I would way rather hang out with him, he seems cool. I try it on. He just enjoys the feeling of latex. And this is the stuff he posts. It's just him in a different suit.


Oh. Yeah, it makes noise that makes sense. There wasn't even a fart. It's just that the latex makes that kind of captures air. And I kind of I like that he likes something like this. Nice clothes or nice palate cleanser. Got it. Yeah, you got it. You're welcome. Yeah, very cool. Wow.


Got those vegan girls. I remember knowing so many of them in college because I went to school in S.F.. So fucking annoying dude. Like you can't you can't just hang out.


San Francisco is the epicenter of these chicks. Oh unbearable. Are just like the political people. Like I remember I tried to hanging out, hanging out with those kids.


So I don't care what your beliefs are as a worst. Like, I go to their dorm room there, these two guys that were like the political guys that would get laid that way. Yeah. I mean, like you should come over and hang out. And I remember they converted their dorm room. They had, like, painted it red and they had a poster of what's his name, Che Guevara. Oh, boy. And a big one.


And then it was just chain smoking and talking about politics for hours. And I was like, you guys, I'm so fucking bored. Yeah. I am so fucking bored talking about this. It was Poli's Dick. So do something. Are we going to fuck or what are you two nerds going to double team me or what.


Like I would ever fucking say that. Sure you I would never.


Yeah right. Oh my God. I see what you're working with. They were no fun and they ended up dating girls that were no fun. Of course they did. Yeah. Yeah. I mean they found people like them. Yeah. Yeah I remember, I remember those chicks. They were at my college too. You know, they always had Birkenstocks. Oh, God, yeah, that's the smelly pussy shoe, too. It's there is because the bottom of the shirt gets black from all the foot funk on there.


I don't know what happens, but would you be attracted to a Birkenstock?


No, I don't like Birkenstocks. No, I don't like them. Too gross. Too stinky.


It's not even stinky. I just I feel like it's a symbol. I feel like I see it. I'd be like, I don't want to get to know you. I agree.


It's a it's a moral failure if you're wearing those shoes. Yeah. I'm not interested.


You can wear a different sandal that is acceptable. But if it feels like, well, these are like for comfort and they and they're good for walking, I'd be like, man, I would hang out with you.


That's so true. Do you know what else I don't want to hang out with. What. When I see somebody when I see a man in particular, yeah, wearing string bracelets, oh yeah, I go I don't we don't even talk to me. We're never going to be cool. I'm never going to get you that. A thumb ring. Fuck you.


We're never going to be friends. We're never going to hang out.


I don't do it possible in male or female, a thumb ring is like we're just not on the same too much jewelry.


Unless you're in a band. You got to be in a big band. If you're Tommy Lee in your dick, Tommy Lee, you got to everyone. Yeah. You wear what you want. You can wear Birkenstocks if you're tough.


But I feel like you earned the jewelry. Yeah, I feel like you earned those things. Like you have this incredible skill set. That's all I got to know. I got to know. Is there an incredible skill set that's going to accompany this jewelry and all these accessories on you? If you're wearing scarfs and all types of beads, scarves, you better be talented.


That's all I wanted to tell you. You can't just be a regular. No, no, you can't be an accounting guy or management guy doing that stuff. Can I tell you how else I know? Give me those shades. Give me your your your eye. OK, not these designs. It's the it's those extreme ones. You know what they're called. I like the wraparounds.


Yeah. Yeah. And then the guy who does this with them though it's either this guy's. Yeah.


Worse. This guy, it's not comparable. That is not comparing this guy. We're not guys friends that we're never going to talk sunglasses on the back of your neck, are you? Guy Fieri? That's who made it popular. Yeah. We're never going to talk.


This is normal, though. I think, like, if you're not if you're in, you walk inside. But I'm saying.


No, no, that's normal if you have good glasses. But if you have those wraparound, those extreme like like what are you, a fucking center fielder.


Yeah. With the Orioles where you have them on top, you get like drunk boating guy glasses.


Yeah. Whatever like River Guy does. Yeah. Like I'll, I'll probably never talk to you. Yeah. They're going to be friends.


The machos thing they're on. That's what I mean.


Wild. Yeah. Yeah. Like I probably, I'm not going to we're not going to be friends. No you're just not my first choice.


Look I didn't want to say it at the beginning because I'm a bum on our show, but we wanted to say real quick that we found out that Jeff Scott, um, the piano player from the Comedy Store, has passed away.


And it's a real bummer to comedians, especially Los Angeles based comedians. Jeff Scott was a fixture of the Comedy Store.


He may, I dare say, the soul of the soul, the heart and soul of the Comedy Store. This guy was there every night that you could be there playing the piano as you go on stage and come off stage in the original room and in there for years, knows everything about the store. Everyone who's been there, you know, I started I didn't go to the store. I used to do like outside book spots.


But then I started going there regularly, like I would say around six years ago and, you know, immediately embraced by him, had some great talks with him.


And I'll say the only like. Happy thing that I think about now, that learning that he passed is that I swear for the last two or three years, every time I saw Jeff Scott, every time we hugged, he always gave me a hug. And I used to talk to him in the kitchen, in the hallway. And just, you know, we just catch up, like, see how you're doing. He would ask about family, ask about the road.


He was very you know, comedians all thrive on confidence. Right? Like, yeah, he would always be like.


I love that joke. He would laugh, he would laugh, you'd hear him like that was I was.


So Jeff was HIV positive, would openly for many, many years. And we don't know yet what his cause of death was. But, you know, he was maintaining that Jeff would laugh like extra hard at AIDS jokes, like I would do AIDS jokes and then look to the left.


And he would be like how he loved he loved inappropriate.


And I'll tell you what was great about Jeff Scott is that he loved comedians. Yeah. I mean, loved us. Yeah. He admired comedians for what we did. He treasured everybody that came through there. And he was the historian. He knew everything of the Comedy Store. I mean, he when time came up to me and he goes, Christina, here's a pizza box that, you know, Sam Kinison signed and everyone signed, would you sign it?


And I was like, oh, my gosh. And he is such a sweet man. He was a sweet and even you hear him play the piano when you you know, the room before the room filled in. Jeff Scott opens the room, he plays the keyboard. And you knew that that was the beginning of the night as the audience filled and you would hear his music just fill up the Comedy Store. And I can't even imagine I don't even know who's going to take his place.


I don't even think it's possible. It's not.


I mean, that's the thing we were thinking to. It's like just the idea that someone else is going to sit at that keyboard is like, no, doesn't really add up in your head. You know, he's such a sweet man.


He was such a sweetheart.


He was he was so really sweet. Um, I never I never said a nasty thing, you know. No. And he was like. And I also I you know, everyone has their own kind of preshow thing, I like to be early to spots and then I like to I get I get anxiety, so I check in, but I don't it's hard for me sometimes to watch. So I kind of check in and watch for, like, I step back on the stairs and I go back in and that's like my preset ritual.


I look at my notes, then I look in and I step back and I look at my notes and I look again and I would see.


I would see Jeff, um, in the in the hallway, too, and on the stairs, because he would he would take a break, you know, like when someone's on he time.


Do you see telling you how much time I would always have, Jeff? And I'd be like, oh, my God.


And then we got to the point where he knew that about me. So I would just look at him.


He's like three minutes like like I'm going to go in minute and a half. And I was like, OK, like that. That was like, ah, you know, he took to knowing that about me.


Yeah. You know, he would always you know, there's a part behind the Comedy Store. He was so into knowing.


I mean he knows he knew everything good. It was cool. You could be like you knew everyone was, um, Eddie Murphy here.


Laughs Well, I'll tell you, there was a night and he would just tell you that story and about all of them, Letterman, Pryor, Kinnison, like the whole legacy of everyone who's been there, you know, and also like preserving the integrity, like this is sacred ground.


There's an area behind the comedy held sacred ground where you're only the past paid regulars are allowed to be. Yeah. And hang out and he, you know, policed that area and make sure that nobody got back.


Oh, yeah. He really respected the institution. You know, he know the craft. It was really like he was a special special guy. Super special. Yes. And he's really kind of really kind of shocked me.


And that is devastating. And what really makes me sad to think is that he loved the Comedy Store so much. And to think that this whole year he wasn't able to go to the place he loved and he probably was protecting himself from getting sick. And I just fucking emailed with him last week, like, hey, I miss you. And he wrote back, I miss us. And that was just a few days ago. And now he passed.


And like, I know it's just just terrible. It's just one after another, you know, everything. No people this year is just well, you know, it's a new year, but terrible this time period. Fuck.


So anyway, it's not trying to be bummers, but it's just we have to pay respect to to Jeff. Yeah. He's a legend. Yeah. Rest in peace. Wonderful. Jeff Scott. Um, well, to take us out, um. We have a song by hand dog song, I haven't heard the song, it's called I Got a DUI, Baby. So maybe this will brighten our mood. Thank you guys, for watching. Thank you for listening.


We'll see you next week.


This is my favorite fucking sex toy, she asked for my were for my people.


I think I got a deal what my teeth are. I gotta tell you what. You don't deserve it. You don't think we all.


We all are.


I just want to say, you know, I just tried so hard to get the girl because you know what? You don't deserve your baby. I want you to take me down to show me a. You know, you don't deserve. You're not very good, my people. Why do you want to talk to you? You don't think you don't deserve. We all party, we all party until the next term, because you know why? Because you know what?


Do we get it?


Sorry. Let's go.


Let's go. Oh, we are.


It was on the third shift. I love to get drawn to take advantage of me.


Oh, no, what did I really do think my are are I got a.


My people are. Why do you think? I want to get to another story for. Knock you off, are you bleep? Yeah, who's working on?