597 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom SeguraYour Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
- 1,288 views
- 31 Mar 2021
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Why am alive is back Shamos, April 2nd at six p.m., go to Live Stream. That's why I made Studios' Dotcom. Get your tickets. Now, now, now, right now.
Isn't this like nerd culture? Isn't this a reference to some hentai or something.
What is this shit called the anime that he watches. Yeah.
Isn't this like you go through me, you go through all of us in the wolf pack now.
This is stupid people.
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Let's look. Look for a place to live. Twenty three ninety five thousand four hundred sixty one twenty four thousand four hundred seventy eight point seventy three to pay rent has. Once in a while to kick off your time and your life, would you know, you one ex-con check it out? This I, I like to three like I want some men from jail. I want you guys on top of this for other. He knows what he wants. Dana, thanks.
You you got paid. Sam. He says he was. God, it's going to take you on a damn thing. And you can read. We got to sign up on your campaign. Come on, I want you to check on me. The year. Not say. It was. Was. You got it. Oh, wow.
I mean, Brendon Urie, the most talented, I forgot how insane the original ad was with Robert Paulson. Oh yeah. And that's not even the original ad. That's though that was later discovered that he had made that request multiple times. You know, the original is the you know, you've got black guys like to fuck and fuck.
Yeah. If you're a black guy. Yeah.
At a jail, this is go for these leukemic trot out.
Trot out in front of my building. Well, yes.
And he was so frenzied and every like the most alarming thing is, especially today in today's world, everybody is all about, you know, even if they're you're letting your freak flag fly some degree of privacy. He's like, here's my address. Here's my phone number.
I'm home all the time, but just come over. There's wild, wild.
It's like those people on tick tock who don't know that they're not sending a personal message to somebody.
Yeah, they they don't know that the whole world shake it up and try it out. We have to check on Robert Poole.
It's been out a while to came from mile to wild. I got it all. Yes, man. Yeah. We should check on him.
Yeah. Speaking of amazing, I am age related material content, if you will. A huge epic live show is happening this Friday. It's why Image Studios go to live stream out, why studios that come. It is this Friday, April 2nd starts at 6:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 9:00 Eastern. We have the great Chris DiStefano Christie chaos sitting on the couch with us. We have original music by the Marcus King Band. We have incredible special guests and special content and a real, real, real heavy, real heavy, heavy segment.
I mean, heavy. I'm about to throw up.
I can't I can't imagine what clips. I don't see them in it. You know, this is new to me.
And if you guys can one up last episode. Yeah. I can't even imagine how horrible it's going to be.
I thought you were going to get new, babe. All right. We'll work on it.
But there's so, uh, by the way, so many fun surprises we have planned for you guys.
And even within the heavy segment, uh, it's not the same heavy stuff. It's not new stuff, these new heavy stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we had prolapsed anuses.
Oh, yeah. That's that's all amateur hour.
Now shut up. That warm up. That's just Luban Napperby whole jtv. Yeah. Yeah we're doing varsity.
Yeah. Now I'm scared I have to start drinking during that but no murders. We decided to not have any murders and no cartel torturing people because people were sending that in. No thanks. Yeah.
They try to keep it fun. I was a lane but in light in the heavy side I was finding there was one talk.
I was like, there is dead body in it. Yeah. She said, I don't want this. I don't want those. I don't want to do Gore like straight up suffering Gore. I just like to see someone you know, shit on fries and that.
Yeah. Yeah. Well because that's more fun. Yeah.
Ultimately that's a light hearted guy. Hey I think I can do the skateboard trick. Oh no. There goes my collarbone.
Yeah but that that's fun. Yeah. But not like hey this guy didn't pay us, let's disembowel him in front of his friend.
I don't, I don't want to watch that. I'm not interested either. So I'm glad you drew the line there. Yeah.
No I don't because I don't get any anything out of it like uh you know. Does it make your penis hard at all? No. Those are for group texts.
That's true. Oh. You know, like well I know how much Nadaf doesn't like them. So whenever I get sent those, I immediately either send them to Nadaf or I send them to somebody else and I go, Sandestin enough.
The gory ones.
Yeah, the growth, the really bad stuff. Like I sent him one or I had my friend Sean send a guy. You had Sean do it so that he would open it to him. Yeah.
And it was a guy who got hit by a train.
Oh my God. Yeah. It's like, oh I haven't heard from Sean in a while. I wonder what he's sending me. I'm like, oh, OK.
I see what this is like. But that was fun.
And how long did that scar you for it? Did it sit with you? Didn't you finish the video. He thought it was the train one.
Yeah, I saw I saw the part that I think you think is the best friend. Mm hmm. That was wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to tell everybody because now you're talking about it. Tell them.
Yeah. You got fucking hit by a train and splattered all over the rest of the station and you saw the blood in the guts and stuff.
It was a lot like the LAYTH video. You saw a lot of mist and stuff.
And like, what country was the scene? I have to know for I can't tell one with a lot less safety precautions.
That was not Eastern Europe somewhere. Yeah, he said he said. To me, and I was like, oh, my and my literally after I was like, oh my God, I go, you guys anything about things like, OK, how come you don't share those with me?
I don't think you would really do well with any of this. Yeah. Yeah I know. I know.
I feel left out though. It's like, OK, what about Chris Larson and Josh Zolo and any maybe you know what, I'll start spreading out the group text.
Yeah, it's kind of I'm Chris probably feels left out. I'm sure Chris is really bummed out that he didn't get that.
Chris, are you super BUNZ?
I am a little jealous. I got to admit. You know, this is one of those things that I'm OK missing out on.
Whatever. OK, whatever. Well, let's start the show. OK, let's go over. Let's get into, uh. Yeah, here we go. Let's start the show. The Sayto Wideman's.
IMO, this ain't Obama's world anymore. Oh. OK, yes, who is right? Oh, no. Well, OK, well, go to your mom's house with Tom Sikora. And Christina, it will go to your mom's house on. You know. Mario. Yeah, it's going to be one week, man, it's not a white man's world anymore. No. And he's singing from a laundromat, which I don't know if you. When's the last time you went to a laundromat.
But it is a bummer to do your laundry at the Laundromat. It can be.
It can be. But usually it's cool of someone singing like a white hymnal, you know. Then it kind of brightens your day. I think he's saying that the white man's day is over. He is, yeah. No, he definitely is saying that. Yeah. So it's it's against the white man. Yeah. You know, I was being facetious. Oh, sorry.
But yeah, he's thinking a cool song and it would certainly be fun to be, you know, taking your clothes out of the dryer.
You're saying the white man's world anymore and he's reading it ever was before getting louder or more and more from L.A. to D.C., the Windy City, what's pretty clear can be restored.
This ain't a white man's world anymore. CNN had a fire that can pierce because a cop brought them down on Fox News. It started at 10:00. It was the. All right. OK. Cops outrage because they didn't pull a gun. CNN says they had more than one. What channel are you watching? I can tell you it's not the one that brings us all together, OK? This ain't a white man's world anymore. It's really interesting lyrics.
I mean, yeah, he was bringing about the reality that depending on where you get your source, you know, it's a great story narrative. But then I don't know. I was like, oh, that's interesting. And then he kind of hooks you with this ain't a white man's world again. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Like I'm on board. And then I'm like I said, bold statement.
But the interesting is pissed because a paycheck was miss claims it was a racial thing. Why gone mad? Because the paycheck was his rumors fly like birds say, oh, wow, we got movie regulations, create stipulations. Got to be sure it's all first one. No humiliation and equal compensation does make the movie better or worse. It ain't a white man's world anymore. It does have a good.
He's got some pipes.
Yeah, he's got pipes and a strong message. I got very specific there for a minute. Like I didn't understand what he was talking about. And then back to the message, which is good. Hmm. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
I like that he wrote those lyrics. He's been working on this for a while.
You know where I should rehearse it at the law to make sure I record it, that he post this like online.
On YouTube, he put this on YouTube himself. Wow, he's, you know, good for him, the hustle. That's how Justin Bieber got famous. You guys don't forget. Yes. This could be the YouTube.
You if you put it out there, who knows? This could be the next. What's that song? I won't take my home. Yes.
So there's something real nice.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Say to my man. Yeah.
For sure. If it got remixed and produced.
What if like some huge artists got on it. They're like, we love your song. I mean I bet like Toby Keith would be into it.
You know. Toby Keith. Yeah.
All those guys G about G could sing this o god of this G with J is D to sing this song because then he'd be like, you know, I really actually feel like it's a unifying song.
Yeah. Yeah. He'd find a way to make it about love and humanity and stuff. Yeah. Him singing the way you know. Do you realize that if G was like I'm going to start singing this ain't a white man's world that they'd be like, hey, you're moving from arenas, the stadiums in the in the southern United States.
He would you're playing Rijo Bryant Denny Stadium this week.
Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. Yes, six shows, six shows and stage four White Man's World. OK. Where is the queen with the queen's name again, Chris? Oh, Trisha Yearwood, she comes back up on it.
What my world does she sing backup for Garth? No, no. She does her own thing. Yeah. She they don't they don't perform together.
I don't know sometimes, like, in their living room or in Studio G. They will. Yeah. But yeah they get tour set in studio G. Yeah. Man very cool man. Thanks for putting that song out. There is a cool message. Yeah.
I was in trouble over the weekend. Where and did you enjoy kind of a white man's world there if you know what I mean. Really.
Yeah. It wasn't real mixed in the audience, but I actually had a great time. It was fun shows.
People are very sweet. They're very nice and yeah.
Very nice. But I like Yamaha as well. It's really nice because you go to their downtown, they have a little yeah.
I'm walking around. There is a health food store I go to every now and then. It was good. It was good.
It was you know, I wouldn't say I had the most exciting, um, cuisine, but breakfast was breakfast, you know. Oh, you do you like their breakfast? Yeah. And then, um, nothing really too exciting. No, I didn't you know, didn't go crazy with with lunch. Oh yeah. I was at the club. Oh yes.
You're you're eating club food which is like always kind of nice for chicken breasts and shit like chicken tits.
So we added a second Spanish show in Addison. That's Dallas, Texas, the night 10:00 at night. I'm going to my first late show in Spanish. That's going to be fucking wild your brain to focus on then. Are those Spanish? Yep. I got some new Spanish shows on sale in June. Tom Ontario Improv, uh, Brayer show in Spanish and looks like I'm going to be doing the Borgata August. Twenty eighth.
Is it. But not in Spanish. No, no, no.
That's an English God.
It no fucking April nine through eleven. Des Moines.
The only show that is available is the Sunday shows to scoop those tickets up now April twenty third through twenty fourth fastenings Arizona for May six one night only breast bawls Beach West Palm Beach, Florida June 11 through 12th Wise and Schadt Lake Tedi's and then Lowell and San Antonio.
Oh well Labutta Township sounds like July, July Liberty Township, Ohio and then Eggar Columbus. And then we go to where I don't even know where the Bricktown, Oklahoma City. And then you're doing the road. But I'm I'm gearing up for guys Orlando Improv.
And that's how you get a job here, fuckface. He's so fired up because they I yeah. No, I, you know, I got a little treat. What's that.
Got you my camera for you you faggot.
We got a really awesome fast walker video we found. Oh I see it. Yes.
Pretty rad. So you Mike you can have my cock ladies. I'm sorry you may fucking hate me for being hated for it more than once.
I am fucking one. Fuck you hard wicked terrorism toilettes to pieces. Wow. Read Ramish crazy shit. I am bothered bitches. You must be one twenty or less. You must be solid minded. You must be fucking sexy. You must be dressed fucking sweet. I'm not going to go for it. I should not.
I strive for fucking perfection. Sorry perfection.
You must be under a hundred and twenty pounds for starters period. You were over one hundred twenty pounds.
You were drunk on top of that.
I just suck on my cock a little bit. Just because I'm a good sport.
I am only fucking for this neck. Do you not want to kill somebody that's not fucking solid.
It is fairly solid. Yeah. So much happening my shoulders, I don't want to fucking hurt my shoulders fucking you bitches anymore give you such high repetitious poundings, it fucks me up.
I love her. Not lately, since I got rid of that motherfucker was Tarim arms out of socket.
I'm done. You must be fucking strikingly beautiful all the time. Every awesome. Every every fucking stitch.
Clothing must be perfect. Oh, I want you to wear perfume. I want you 120 pounds or less than cheese. And I don't want to drunk or fucked up.
I'm sorry I got sick. I mean, that's improvisors.
Yeah. Oh well let's go through the want list here.
I mean is this it's amazing. Is this has Rya profile that he's putting your tie. So first of all, we got one hundred and twenty pounds. You must be an impeccable dresser, sober, sober, which is surprise. That's the most surprising of all.
He's like, you need to have a solid head on your shoulders. Yeah.
If you want to mess with me. Not not drinking. Nothing like that. What. What.
But then I am bothered. His father talk father cock. Oh father. Father time. Sure, sure, sure. I've never noticed his tats on his shoulders. That's kind of cool. We got to see that man.
Uh wait there was one. If you're over 120, I just suck on my cock a little bit just because I'm a good sport. I'll let you suck on my right.
And that's kind of need to know up front that he's really into that.
So, like, you need to be into that if you know that's a treat for you, if you're over 120. Right.
I'm saying so this is another check. Yes. I mean, one twenty. Yeah, yeah. I get this like you're d good. Gerizim toilettes to pieces and I'll tear my lips to piece who even talks said Smokers', one of the greatest American hair.
I'm going to tear your twat lives to pieces. Yeah, it's so romantic.
What do you think. A lot of women want their twatt lips torn to pieces. That's a very vivid.
There's a few out there, but I think some of them might not meet his requirement for being sober. You know, I think the girl who's like I do think that sounds appealing is probably not level.
Well, yeah, I want my toilettes. I think you might be tweaking like him, you know.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
But I'd still choose him over who is the other guy that we had between Fed smoker and know the smoker.
Would you rather was that or watch your parents have orgasms.
I'd still have sex with him. Yeah. Same, same Adap.tv.
Yeah. You're so, so crazy.
I just it's high repetitious poundings. It's fine. I can handle it. I got two kids my child. Yeah. My lips are strong. They've already been torn open and.
Oh my God I am one. Fuck you hard. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh he's fit. Look, let's talk about the positives of smoke.
He's in great shape. He's showing you he's got a strong neck and chest. Uh, he's got his own car. We know that at times he is employed at Phalcon Car Wash dentistry school.
He likes to travel. Yeah. He can remove his own teeth. He's resourceful. Yeah. Yeah.
He's got a lot of cool stuff going on. Lots of cool stuff. Yeah. He's got good shades. Great shades. He has a collection of shades. Yeah.
So that was really cool man. I was really cool it turns out. Turns out he's a cool guy, he's a pretty cool dude.
Just fucking like pussy smoker.
Well that was him. Two different clip. Yeah. Yeah. But he's also going to lick the pussy to pieces. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh you guys are really into it. Yeah. He's pretty cool.
OK. Yeah. Oh yeah. Fucking Austin update for people.
Uh Compston I believe we're renaming that place. We are moving. I want you to know that, uh, this show of course continues. People have asked if, uh, that's the end of two bears. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
So just, you know, uh, two days after we moved to Austin, I fly back here and and then four days after that, you fly back here and we do your mom's house here because our studio won't be ready in time. So you'll still see this studio for a while on the channel and that too bad stuff will continue. And, you know, like whenever one of us isn't around, we'll have a guest bear, but we will do that show.
I think it was it was Bobby Lee. Oh, he's a cub. He's not a baby. And Santino broke in here when we weren't here. And so we're super rude.
But yeah. So anyway, that stuff, we'll all continue.
The shows will still come to the channel, same time, same dates.
And where my mom's at will continue as well.
Dr. Drew, fucking talk about how amazing Tom talks is, for fuck's sake.
I've been having one on one conversations with like just I mean, incredible guest man I've had.
Derek Delgado guided in and of itself, Deon Sanders, Tony Gonzalez, I got incredible guests coming up and we're putting them out twice a week on my personal YouTube channel. If you want to listen just down, you know, just subscribe on iTunes or wherever. So sorry. I said twice a week, twice a month, every other Thursday, but it's on my personal YouTube channel.
If you want to watch it. If you want to listen, it's whatever podcasts are available. I'm trying to just reach out and talk to people I find really interesting and want to have one on one conversations with. So that's something that we'll continue to do to, of course, where my mom is that will continue to come out anyway.
That's a very exciting I can't wait. So far, everybody's been really cool to us in Texas and reaching out and everyone's been very welcoming and I'm looking forward to it before you.
And we have a lot of love, we should say, for Los Angeles. Oh, my God, I've been here as long as I've ever lived anywhere. I've lived here 19 years and you've been here your whole life. And, you know, we'll still be here a lot. Like I already have two tickets back here within a month. I know of moving.
So we'll be here.
Oh, but anyway, now that that's out of the way to see no studio jeans will stay. You guys don't worry. Nothing's ever going to. Yeah, yeah. We're going to be here. It's still happening. We're still your jeans.
He's Wenjin seven jeans. Now you you told me because it's this like if you walk out of our house and you go to get a coffee because we always go to the same coffee place. You walk out, there is this one neighbor, as you pointed out, you mentioned and I was like, wait a minute, is that if you go to the right and then you go, yep, there's a guy who does. Driveway workouts in front of workouts, and he also restores dirt bikes in his front yard.
It's well and let's be clear, we don't live in a very rural neighborhood like we live in Los Angeles.
Yes, restoring dirt bikes in certain neighborhoods is probably normal, fair, but not where we live. It's L.A. strange. And not only that, so he works out in front of his house, which is odd because I'm pretty sure he has a backyard, too, that he could work out in. But the part that strikes me as interesting is that he's a loud worker out here and will walk by and I'll yeah, yeah, yeah.
He'll literally go, yeah, yeah. Like when he's doing pull ups and you can hear it as you're walking across the street and down, I'm like, that is so, it's so embarrassing.
Yeah. Come on dude. First of all, like aren't you mortified to work out in public.
Anyways, like I said, that's what he's doing for work. I do it. I mean it's crazy in the gym, you know. That's what I'm hearing, and these are just pull ups is so insane, it is. It's insane. That's what he sounds like.
Yeah. Hold up in gyms. You go to like a gym. I haven't been in, like in a community gym in a while now, but there's always that guy like.
Yeah, OK, man. Really. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like, are you squatting like 500, you know. Yeah. So he's just like curling twenty five. You like you scream for that. What's going on with you man.
Right. And I've been around you. When you lift weights you're quiet as a mouse. I mean unless you're going for like heavy heavy that were you, you know, it's like you're pulling everything you got but like for just going if you're doing sets of twelve, you don't need to go like with every step.
You just don't. You don't. That's theatrical. This. Yeah.
The sound effects are for whose benefit. Like, you know, you're being loud. Some people. I'm sure I do. I now I've been working out for years and that's part of like I it's how I breathe correctly. I always go, oh every every rap.
OK, you don't need to make a song.
You don't need to make a sound every time, you know.
But, you know, there's just not true. Remember, we grew up watching Monica Seles. Oh yeah. Every time. Right. Every time.
That's her right there. Well, it's funny.
I remember when we are doing tennis with our old chair. Yeah. And his sound is and.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well and I would make fun of him.
I go I got Mike was his name. I go Mike. Is that your tennis sound. He's like what. I go that's your sound. Yeah. And I go with Tom needs to come up with his tennis.
You should have seen him though because that was like once I got into doing three times a week. Yeah. And he would start to like rip them like rip. Yeah. Sounds eye level. Oh yeah.
When he was really really talented. Super talented. Yeah. I mean you see that thing just a hundred whatever miles an hour coming at you you know. And what was his sound. Would they go.
It would become, it would just louder. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like yeah yeah yeah.
So he would turn up the volume on the sound depending on how.
Yeah. How forceful he's playing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look I don't know maybe. Is it just me that when I exercise I don't want other people to see me. I'm so embarrassed of how I know people. I'm awkward.
I think I mean sweaty and middle aged like don't, I don't want, I don't want to, I don't need the audience.
The audience. Yeah. No I'm with you on that. Yeah. So I just want the audience is what I'm saying that that guy maybe. Yeah. I think it's a little theatrical that he's doing that like the, the workout with the garage open in the driveway and uh yeah.
It's that you walk by. What's going on there. Yeah.
And he sometimes you're working out while you're restoring dirt bike. That's cool.
He's got and he has the trainer sometimes whip him and then you hear the two of them going, yeah, it's so weird man.
You go back and forth when you're.
I guess because I'm so I'm very self-conscious as as are you, I think, hour or somehow that we were walking through the mall with Jeff Tate, we went to the mall one afternoon just fucking around, and we walked by a Chinese massage like mall set up. So but it's just it's it looks like a store. I mean, it's just glass, you know, windows.
And there's just like people laid out on tables as I was like, I don't think there's anything worse than getting massage in front of people.
You know, it's like I did that once at the airport, like the airport.
That's what I was working on. And I was sitting there. I was like, yeah, but like, I'm on display and like, they're just grinding, you know, your shoulders. And you're like, I don't know, man. Can you. Is there a door?
And the guy the guy is grinding and he's like, you want one next?
Yeah. And then he's like, he's doing this too. Like he's like on his phone. He's like, you know, like reading messages.
I think it's horrible. I can't think of anything. So I even feel embarrassed getting a shoeshine in public.
I've done that once and I was like just like too many people looking.
It is. I know. Especially like if it's not a white person, then you're like, look, man, I don't feel comfortable with this.
Check your point of personal privilege. I really don't like it. Like, is there a white guy you can have this sort of personal privilege. It just doesn't feel right. Yeah. I don't care how much I tip you.
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I've been watching the point of personal privilege video all weekend. It makes me laugh all the time when a personal. Can you watch please your volume. I'm oversimple.
I think we put up with it and I mean again, like what you said, you expect people in public to conform to what you want.
It's absurd. It's a point of privilege.
Once again, James Jackson, Sacramento T.S.A.. He hee. I've already asked people to be mindful of the chatter of their comrades who are sensitive to sensory overload. And that goes double for the heckling and the hissing. It is also triggering to my anxiety. Like the comradely doesn't isn't just for like, you know, let's keep things civil or whatever. It's so that people aren't going to get triggered and so it doesn't affect their performance as a delegate. OK?
That guy, imagine being friends with that guy. Quite a personal. How long do you think it would take before, like, hey, man, we not only can we not hang out, I want you to get assaulted with.
So seriously, I can't even hang out with people that take too long to order off a menu.
Yeah, this guy that bothers me like and I don't know which one you really to sit down at a restaurant and he just, you know, I'm super triggered, right?
Oh, people are ordering and like there's drinks. I can hear glasses clanging. Yeah. You're in a restaurant, fuckhead. There's noise in here. He's on the fucking sidewalk. That's where you're going to end up anyway.
So I would bludgeon him and I would bludgeon him for his weakness. His weakness would anger me, every fucking person. Yeah, I agree. It's the, uh.
Yeah. The bad things happens. Yeah. The audacity to that everyone conform to what he wants.
It's it's just ordered and people do not use gendered language.
Get out of here, man. You can't say, guys, this point of personal privilege, right? You're not supposed to use gendered language. OK, cool. Speaking of.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Where genders are really up in the air still. You live in San Francisco for a while. I did.
So we were, by the way, in polar opposite places. I never really thought about that for our college experience.
You lived in San Francisco, one of the most cosmopolitan like dilemmas liberal.
And I went to school in Hickory, North Carolina. So where that.
None of that shit. None of it. Nothing. No, not nothing that you saw on a regular basis even happened. And now ever.
No, I mean, I'm telling you, the minute I landed in S.F. and I grew up in L.A., which is very liberal, too, but S.F. is the epicenter of liberal.
And I mean, I remember landing and going and seeing dudes holding hands at the movie theater or hadn't seen that billboards of like gay people. Yeah. And that's their norm. So now you are the ran out in their world.
So you have to respect like their um.
But it was so there's so much nutty stuff going on there. We had a neighbor one time now. Yeah. With the first house I lived in. Who felt that his circumcision was unfair and so he would post signs of protest against people circumcising their children in front of his house like like he wanted to reclaim his foreskin, that was this guy's whole M.O..
Yeah. And he would always with the billboards and like the signs in front of it, was like our neighbor to say it'd be like there's a circumcision guy, like he's still mad about his dick.
There's so many people that are on that circumcision thing, you know?
I mean, I understand I guess I understand that. But what's funny is like that that line of like of writing a sign and painting it read like this is the blood of every penis that's been circumcised.
And you're mutilating babies like, whoa, yeah. Yeah. He had somebody lecture me one time about it. I go, you know, I think it was yeah, it was. You weren't yet pregnant with Julian, but Ellis was born and somebody we're talking about, you know, kids. And then this a lady goes, did you circumcise them? And I was like, yeah. And they go like started like voice their disapproval. And I was like, I don't care that you don't like it, though.
And then and then she goes, she went and I go, do you have kids? And she was like, how are you even a part of this?
But you don't have anything to say who gives a fuck what you think I know? Well, yeah, I agree. It's nobody's business what you do with your own kid. You know what? Why don't you shit out a boy and then you can leave his dick alone. OK. By the way, you have to find someone to fuck you first. I don't think it's going to happen. So but it would be like, well, yeah, I mean, I want to get into a topic, a debate on circumcision.
But it is like if it's the norm, then you just kind of want the norm to do whatever you want.
I mean, like, here's the thing. If you don't want to circumcise your kid or you don't, I don't think in business, I don't care if you want to fucking cut the actual head of your dick off. Go ahead. Do that, too. I don't care.
I agree. But this guy did this thing where he regrew his foreskin and he pulled it up with weights.
And it was like, I swear to God, it was our whole thing.
So much you could do in this world.
And for that to be your focus, like for that to be your contribution is. Yeah.
So he regrew his foreskin and then he would tell everybody about regrowing their foreskin and like, ask me how that was.
Another bill passed me another sign in front of our in front of my neighbor's house. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. He was also really militant about recycling like he would.
I mean, you know what I want to tell someone like that, hey, dude, why don't you grow a garden like, you know, I mean, anything productive production, plant some tomatoes, do something else.
No, I know these angry. I don't I feel bad for him.
Obviously, it's you know, he's not. Well, I had so I had I had a neighbor or a couple that lived next to us in Hickory at one of my apartments. They hated each other. So we would hear them like that's always fun, intense screaming.
And yeah, that that's what it says. Gendered.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I lived in I lived in an apartment in College Park, Maryland. You did.
Yeah. Maryland. In Maryland, yeah. When.
So why do I need to do a background check on you.
I mean I'm giving you the check right now.
You know Maryland. Yeah. I lived in Maryland. When.
Well I'm about to tell you. I mean I'm sorry, I'm a little Florida.
I've known you for twenty years. I've known you for twenty years. You've never brought up Maryland.
Yeah, I had a family there. I was asked next. I had three kids there. They're in their twenties right now.
So like Maryland, I mean, when I was in college, when I was in college this summer after my junior year, I lived in Georgetown. In D.C., right.
Yeah, I lived there, told me that, OK, I lived with I lived with family there and it was the fucking best. I lived in a an incredible house in Georgetown. Just remarkable. OK.
And I was like, you know, you get so used to it, you're like, Yeah, I could totally live here there amazing house because I live just to the point of personal privilege and like a nice, really nice neighborhood, a really nice neighborhood, like the best neighborhood in D.C..
Oh, wow. And then I that was for an internship. So I lived there for the summer. I go back to school for my senior year. I finished school. I first moved to Boston and I live with my friend Steve in Boston, him and his wife. At the time, though, at the time it was his girlfriend, but they ended up getting married. I lived with them on their couch, which is terrible. Yeah, but I lived there for like eight weeks.
Then I got an offer from the same place in D.C., America's Most Wanted. That's right. So that's where I worked. And so I was like, oh, I'll just go live in Georgetown again with my mom. And my dad was like, You can't do that. They they hooked you up. That was a summer day. I can't move.
And I was like, why? She's lonely. Like, let me know. So I ended up getting hoodwinked.
Because I told somebody at the AMW where I was going to work and they're like, oh, you can live in like I'm moving out of this place, you can move into it. So it was a it was a house in College Park with like six people.
Oh, no. And I think I've said this before. Like, I got the bedroom that has a bathroom in it, which is great. One of the other roommates has to use my bathroom. Oh, God.
So he would come in, take a shower, take shifts. That's the worst.
Dude, it was a fucking I mean, it definitely contributed to me not wanting to stay there cause not wanting the job and it had to go through my room to go to the bathroom. Yeah. So he would like you'd hear a knock and like, what's up. It's going to take a shower like, great, OK, call any time he can come into your room, take a piss in the middle of the night, he's going to your fucking room.
Fucking nightmare. It's the worst room, especially multiples I had at one point. One, two, three, four roommates in San Francisco at the same place next door to the circumcision house. Yeah. And we lived with two boys. Yeah. And it was. The toilet was in a room or separate from the shower room, thank God, but getting ready in the morning for school, like for a fucking five people showering, there was no hot water ever.
And then if you took a shower, it was like someone's always in the bathroom and five people house, you know?
Yeah, it was the worst was terrible.
I hated being poor, like and they all sucked like all those people.
That's the worst. Yeah, they sucked, you know. So I definitely when they when they offered I got the job offer to extend because I started with a three month contract. So as it came up, they're like, hey, we want to offer you. I was like, nah, out. I moved here.
Good. Well I'm glad. So that wasn't so sinister. No, no. I was worried. It was just like no it was just weird.
Now I'll make a confession. Yeah. We had so many roommates. There's like five of us in San Francisco and I. I would never do my chores. Big shocker. And there was a chore wheel, one of mine. So Shawna, my bf, Bronwyn, my other guy, and then like another whatever, two people, whatever. And I would never do my job. I would never. I'm not surprised at all, but you would say you did.
Yeah, yeah, I clean the toilet, but I don't.
Oh. Yeah, you're still so messy and nasty. I've gotten so much love and support. Thank you, everybody.
Sharing your stories on Instagram don't let times to gross shame you on your positive oral hygiene habits as floss out there, we have to stick together and unite. Anyway, back in S.F., I asked I had neighbors at Fucked, so we were on the second floor and I looked out my ass. It was the best. I look out my kitchen like kitchen window as when I was cooking something and they were fucking right there and they didn't have any drapery, anything on their windows.
And I just watched them fuck.
And then I call over the other rooms like do their fucking they never would like wave you guys what they caught on eventually by the fourth time we were like, what's up dude.
Like, oh, one time they finished and we all clapped and that's when obviously they. But were they change or were they smiling like they were upset. They were upset. They were shamed. Yeah.
Would they look like just like I remember like OK so, so here's what I saw.
Like so there are there's like, like a white couple of white people, you know, point of personal privilege and the they were too sorry she would be on top and I would see his head, just his head like this because the windows were there.
Yeah. And then like her on top of him kind of they didn't have drapes or curtains.
Well, here's the deal. A lot of people didn't because it was like a slumlord Victorian house and like the fucking asshole that owned it didn't put curtains on it.
When you applauded, they got mad. Yeah. They're like, oh, you like the woman was like, what the fuck? And I'm like, you.
You don't have to go on Shipperd. Yeah.
I love, like, neighbor sex, you know, where I stay at home because we lived in a house where the neighbor, the divorce was getting real for the first time in a while, she was really putting on a show with orgasms.
But in a hotel, it's kind of fun. That's fun. Like I've had, you know, I stay in hotels so much. I've had the walk where you start hearing something and then you go right to the right spot and you hear them doing it. I'll jerk off like immediately. OK, why don't you do that?
And now you get turned on a finger yourself when that was happening. Why no finger yourself if you heard your neighbor like in the hotel banging, you don't get turned on by that.
Well, yeah, it's exciting, but I don't need to I don't need to finger myself, you know what I mean? I just like. Oh, that's that's nice, you know. Wow. Not a meeting about me.
I'll probably be like, oh, I wonder what that sound is, but once you know what it is, they wouldn't masturbate furiously.
I don't know about jerk off to it, but I'd be like, oh, I should look at some point. Right. Like in my semester. Oh yeah. I'll be like, oh I should jerk off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to time it. I came with the guy, I was like, come on dude, come on, come on. And then when he and I was like, oh, here we go.
You're getting too close like that.
But that's, that's great.
That's a really smart mouth.
Now, when I lived in the valley, like my first one here, I've told that story. I had a nightmare scenario where the wall of my bed, like in my bedroom, was the living room of the neighbor's apartment, the wall of my house.
I would go. So she had a routine where she would wake up at six and put on NBC's Today show, but full volume.
So it was like her way to wake up. So it's full of like, welcome to the Today Show. And like, you know, all the commercials would be full blast.
Yeah, 6:00 a.m. and I would just hit the wall, like, hit it until she got the clue, like, hey, I'm sleeping in here, you fucking asshole.
That's why I hated spending the night at your house because of her. She would wake us up super early upstairs. The guy was you porn. So now, you know, this would probably offend people, but he would shoot transsexual porn. So he not that, you know, it could be any porn, but that's just what he was shooting. And it would also be like you get home at like eleven o'clock at night. You're like, wow, it's really lit up.
It'd be lights like here.
Oh, like, you know, and and then you would see a trans lady park walk up the stairs and then.
You know, you just pounding, pounding, and they're just but I think after that, really. Yeah, that's interesting. I wonder why I think I was just upset that it wasn't the porn that I would watch, like, you know. Yeah, I saw I was like, oh, this isn't what I'm into.
That's interesting. So even the same, the same sounds and the same. Yeah. Everything. And also, you know what, it was manufactured. It wasn't real sex. Oh that's true. That's different. Performative.
You know, it is universally the worst thing to have though when you live in an apartment complex. I think anybody who's experienced that when you live on the bottom floor and the fucker on top of you walks around in like clogs. Oh yeah. Or heavy shoes.
Yeah. Yeah, that will fuck that ruined. I lived in Silverlake for like two and a half years and the nicest lady I lived in the basement of her house.
We're like those wooden homes and it was like, oh come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. And she would walk around late at night and then fucking up early.
She walked into your place one time and I was still there. Yeah. Yeah, so I left, I went to work, and this is when Tom and I were just dating and you were asleep in the nude. Mm hmm. And then she came in to do something. Landlady And then she saw you naked.
And then she was like, he's got nice shoulders. Yeah. That's what he said to me later. I saw Tom in there. I mean, it's OK, but he does have nice shoulders.
I didn't see his dong. Maybe I should see his dick. I gave it to her.
Yeah. You know what's so fucked up? I didn't realize how how rude I was. Living in that place, though, is that she was not a smoker. And at the time I was. And so I would. I had a little patio area member. Yeah. Off to the side. And I would just sit there and smoke all every night after work every night, and I would just go right up into her window. I felt like now looking back, I'm like, that was kind of a well shit bird.
That's life. Yeah. She didn't she didn't want that.
No, it was a nice lady. Then we had the, um. We had that old guy who was dying. Yeah. He was in his 90s. He was he Marty. Marty. And he lived like at the apartment and I would see him, I'd be like, oh, you're about to die. You know, he was in his 90s and it was summertime in Silverlake.
It was so hot and he didn't have air conditioning. And like, we didn't have that, you know, the kind of money that. But I was like all units we have. Yeah.
I was like, we should get one for him, like a wall unit, like two hundred at least because it's so.
Oh, I went to his apartment, uh, I go, hey, you know, it's really hot men. Do you mean like can I get you what he was like. No, no.
He didn't want it. Didn't want it. Oh there is Marty. And he would say that's what he looks like there.
That was more Marty. And we wanted to take him out for dinner and he refused. He wanted to go to Sizzler. Oh, I love Sulzer. Like at that Malibu chicken.
He went to Sizzler and he said, you can eat shrimp, get picked up for dialysis twice a week. Yeah.
And one time I was like, oh, because he's alone, you know, he's alone in this shitty apartment. That's one hundred degrees. And I'm like, ask him some questions like, do you have kids? And he's like, Yeah, like you do. Do you ever see them? He's like, No. And I was like, how could your kids not? And then it occurred to me was the first time I was like, oh, you see a sweet old person.
But you don't know that they might have been a piece of shit.
Yeah, maybe because I couldn't imagine the guy that I knew is a sweet old man, but maybe he wasn't a sweet man.
Yeah, you don't know.
You really don't know. The old kind of is Kamo, you know where it's probably helpful because you need compassion as you get older. You need people to care for you. But, you know, knowing that he had multiple kids and that they didn't look after him at all, it was like, that is so true because I think you assume that old people are good.
You all you do naturally, you're like, oh, hold the door for this old. Yeah, I'll be I'll be extra, you know, soft and sweet to them.
You don't realize that they can be Satan like they can be the worst. Yeah. It's so weird. When he looked like a sweet old man.
He did. But you know what I noticed too. He always had horrible lighting in his apartment. Like when he go down there, he would have the overheads on like that neon.
And I was like, I just hate his life was not cool at all. No, terrible.
But I'll tell you what that fool did. You know, we had this weird driveway. Everything in Silverlake is hills. It was like a perfect incline.
This fool, though, could go down in that old ass car memory hang Askhat and he could back up my, like, perfectly at his age.
We've been driving for seventy years.
Yeah. So and I always admired his his going down and up to drive. I'm like I don't even do it that well bro.
That was after MacArthur Park though. That way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was horrible. We had the Rampur. Yeah. That's where there was a washer dryer on every other floor of an apartment complex.
Right. So you put your clothes in the washer and it could be the floors of people want to also wash their clothes.
Yeah. And a lot of times of their clothes, you know, because they weren't on top of like sometimes you learn these clothes is here. Maybe someone's going to come put it in the dryer the next few minutes. You go back to your apartment, you go, maybe you set a timer. Thirty minutes, you go back in the same clothes. It's still in the washer. You're like, well, this is going the dryer now, dude.
So that's what I did. And one time the guy caught me doing it.
You know, that's the worst.
Quickly, when you do that, you had I remember like you could feel you feel the adrenaline surge of like this about to be a fight because they really hate when you touch them.
Hey, come fucking move your clothes, man. I know. Especially when he's on like a Sunday and everybody's home and you know that that is a competitive washer dryer situation.
That was the the guy worked at Betty and he's the one. Yeah, he got real pissed. And I was like, oh. And I tried to like, deflect. I was like, no, because what happened was like I didn't have a but he. I did bet I did stand up on the show there and I asked him like so and he was working the show, so I in other words, I show up to tape stand up.
And I see him like you're my neighbor, he's like, what's up? Like, this is like he's working at it, he's working on the on the actual production I'm on. So then like a week or two later, I see him at the apartment and I go, hey, man, like, how can I get a tape of that? And he was like, I don't know, man. I was like, but you work there.
He's like, I don't know, you could see this person gave me, like the email of the receptionist, you know, I was like, you can't know you sweet though at least he was nice. But you remember this fucking nerd who parked OK?
Parked right next to us was that we had to split spaces and then those fucking nerds parked next to us that were like Disney fanatic, the pixie dust. Yes, we've talked about them. Their license plate said pixie dust it. And they wore like Mickey Mouse shit every day.
No, that's how I feel. And and also when I brought Dalts when I brought up Disneyland to them, their demeanor, like they would they would sit in the elevator like this and then I'd be like, what are you guys doing there? Like, we went to Disneyland. And I was like, yeah. I was like, well, we go every week. I was like, you go every week.
The children. Yeah, we have a path and it's the most magical place, like 36 men.
That's the thing is that they weren't. And by the way, they weren't in their 20s, which I can kind of even get like when you're in your 20s. Let's go to Disney. That's fun. They were like 30.
They should have they should have just been like I just rousse. I did get the fuck out of this neighborhood.
That guy one time got in the elevator, dings me every fucking weekend. And he goes, you know, be joking. He goes, he's barefoot.
And, you know, he's like, hey, yo, I'm just going to check my mail. Could you hold the elevator for me? And I go, Yeah.
And he got out and I pressed clothes and you maniac barefoot.
Yeah. Well, that's the thing about Carondelet that this house was, is that people assume that the public areas were the same as their apartment areas and like.
Yeah, like you can't go to the lobby barefoot, no ass wipe and you can't leave your laundry either.
Man, that was so gnarly.
Yeah, but but the thing about this, too, here's here's what enrages me about pixie dust. It is that here's this young couple.
They were married. They were in their mid thirties. We were all living in a really rough neighborhood. So clearly we were all like hoping to move on up. Everybody was. Yeah, like, bro, this was a transitional set. She didn't want to be here too long. How much fucking money do you think they poured into Disneyland?
Just tens of thousands of dollars, yeah.
Did we go to Disneyland when we lived in a shit bag place?
We just up the trays. Yeah. A frozen food. Yeah. And then the landlady would come and eat it. Yeah.
Yeah. We literally we would go to Trader Trader Joe's house like Pedro's.
Amazing. And it is the place to shop, especially when you're like I have twenty dollars a week. Yeah. You get so much stuff. So they would have like you know, you try to treat yourself right like you don't like. So we would buy like appetizer stuff, you know, like panic would be like.
Yeah, like frozen, you know, like or dirty puff pastries. And I could put them in and it's like, you know, let's say it's twelve.
And she would be like, do you need your conditioning fixed?
You know, should come in and I go and they would just be coming out and I'd be like, oh, do you want to try a puff pastry?
And then also then I turn and she'd eat nine. I was like, eat all of our treats, just eat it all. And she was super skinny.
No, no, she she had a New York. They were both from New York.
The guy was he had a long hair down to the middle of his back lot.
I like this guy. They were nice. They were wonderful people and mustache.
And he'd be like a tall. Yeah, he's like one tiny town cowboy Sabeg. I know what he goes to. And I go, I don't think I have that. Yeah, you got one.
I go, no, I don't a bag.
And he goes, bag. You put a suit.
Oh a suit bag. You bag a garment bag. He's like, yeah.
Uh, Sherman. Yeah, but did you even have a suit that. I think I think he's seen it or something.
So he mentioned it and I go, yeah, sure. He was going on a trip somewhere. Tommy, when I think back, we had so little back then, yeah, that was those were crazy times and you and I were like, we're going to become comedians.
And I remember being so anxious those years, just like not being able to sleep at night because you didn't know if you're going to get feature work. We were just trying to be featurettes. Remember that shit. And you I mean, we're just like the crippling anxiety and also the drive to get the hell out of that neighborhood and get the hell out of that crazy thing is like you get out, we get the hell out of that black man.
We go from there to Silver Lake and then from Silver Lake to Redondo, which is like fucking 30 miles from, you know, we made a big change. And then we're living in that guesthouse and we have you know, we've talked about it.
Crazy neighbor over here, crazy neighbor over there, a retired cop across the street who if you parked what you can, you can see it's on a public street in front of his house. He would then pull his car and park one millimeter from your car is he was a psycho.
He was psycho. But that one time I left my car in front of his house.
Oh, look. He left a crazy note on it about how Street can't get clean, like, you know, I had a ticket on the car and I was like, I don't care. Yeah, he left an insane note on the car, and I had such crazy visions of revenge because what I wanted to do, you know, what I wanted to do for real. No, I'm serious.
I want if I had the money, I would have done this.
I wanted to pay people to park multiple cars in front of me.
Great. We should do it now. Thank you for your tickets. And I'll pay you money every day to leave your car parked in front of his house and just just to fuck with him. You know, he because he was so he was passive aggressive and crazy and crazy.
And this was this neighborhood had that policy. It was an unspoken policy in front of all of them. You could not park in front of our house of somebody, even though it's all public property.
And I get it, by the way. I get it like I have a house. I get it. You don't want someone to park in front of your house, but people park in front of my house all taken care, you know?
And I don't go like I'm don't leave a note on this. I know that that car is going to move.
It's absurd that you would care, Tommy. I can't remember in that house were we able to park up our driveway. Yeah, we could write, like if we drove past the get like the front house in Redondo. Yeah. You could park one car. That's right. That's right. In the driveway and one on the street.
That's so they wanted they're like, we'll park the one on the street in front of your place only. But we lived in a guest house so there was actually two other cars. There's the main residence. So we didn't have many choices. There wasn't a lot of options.
They like just don't park here, you know, like but I need I need a place to park the car. This episode of Your Mom's House is brought to you by Squarespace.
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We go from that from a scary MacArthur Park that to the next neighborhood where our six month old son's first playdate is with Kim and Kanye.
So like so but let's let's give a little more context.
So Tom and I are living in this guest house in Redondo. We at the time, what do we we've established your mom's house a bit more because we started in Silverlake and we're starting to get an audience on. Why am I and then I don't know, people know this, but so your first hour is ready to be taped and you get past Comedy Central Pass is on that hour, right?
That's right. HBO, I does it work.
They all pass except for this little platform called Netflix, which at that time at the time they said they were about to cross forty million subscribers, which is like really significant. But it's still it's not like it is today where everyone's like that's the leader in.
It wasn't like that. So at the time we were like Netflix, like they said, like it almost has as many subscribers as HBO. That's what they were say because they were starting to get steam and burred, had a special on there.
And he was like, it's really good man. Like he was like, you should. It's good that. You're going to be there. I was like, really? Yeah, we but we were disappointed because at the time it was like Comedy Central or HBO. There was no it wasn't like this.
And so I'm pregnant. My mother passes away. So I'm dealing with that, like my head's just down for nine months, essentially being pregnant. And then we have our son, and it's you, me, two dogs in this tiny guest house.
And we're we're going crazy with no one doing the road like crazy. You're working like crazy and we're going nuts. And you go, we got we got to move. We got to get the fuck out of here. And I go, but we don't we can't move. We have any money. And you go, no, we do. Now, remember, that was the first time. And I go, we do. And and we're like, let's get the fuck out of here.
We're like, oh, it was like a jet ski effect, you know, where you're like, we only have one phone charger. We have to stay in the guest house in Redondo like we have choices now. We have options and then we move to this crazy.
Yes, it was a gated community community and and it was it was a rental. We rented the house. I was like, yeah, we're trying to buy a house, but it is so hard to be on the road so much and try to, like, drive up to L.A. to see houses just like there was no we had a newborn and it was there's so much we rented a house in this neighborhood and I don't know who lives in this neighborhood.
I really don't. I know there's like a like a guard gate and after, like, I don't know, a few days in the neighborhood, one of the neighbors. I think I saw like a crazy car, I was like, as crazy as is like, yeah, it's probably. And he says, like a celebrity, I go, Oh, they live here. He goes, Do you know who lives in this neighborhood? I mean, we're like, no.
He goes, Oh.
And he starts naming like athletes, actors. Then he goes, Kim and Kanye. I go, they live here. He was like, Yeah. And he goes, yeah, you'll see you're walking around, I go, that's wild. And then whatever a week to go by, there's a there's a public. There's a playground. Yeah, within the gated community. And I go up there and I remember I took Ellis'. He's like five, six months old.
And I sit them down and a, uh, a nanny she's wearing like scrubs comes over and she's like, Oh, how old is he? And I go, he's six months. And she goes, he and I go, oh, she goes, what's his name? I go, it's Ellis. What's his name. She goes, s..
I immediately I was like, no, I didn't react, you know. I said, Yeah, big ol cheeks on this cute little baby and then they would play. Yeah. And then I would note I was like, oh. And then I see a guy standing there in black with the security that came later.
So they, it had that horrible robbery happened in Paris that was after. And then the security guard would show up at the playground. The first time I took him to Paris, robbery was way after that.
But I don't remember the guy with the earpiece until I thought that was a newer thing, really, because I think originally it was the nanny in him.
And I would see Saint with different nannies. Well, I only saw him with one, and she was very. So old school like she was, was she Caribbean, she had this great accent, yeah, S.T. just S.T. comes Jamaican one with a Jamaican and she was always feeding them.
You want your baby? My mum. And then she introduced us to baby mama.
So a tiger tie goes up there. Oh yeah. Yeah, tiger. Yeah.
That was such a crazy change from being like, hey, can you take your clothes out of the washer. Oh. Like, oh, Kanye is going to call it a few years.
It was crazy. But I also remember a point where Elvis was playing with S.. And there was the guy with the ear and he was really nice.
I'm not saying the guard was nice, but I thought to myself, like, he always looked at me like, why are you here?
Like the dads, the moms and the dads. Yeah, well, because, like I said, I yeah. Anyway, there was a point where I thought, oh, this is weird. Like, I, I don't want Elvis growing up thinking it's normal to have, like, security guards watching you. And so I'm glad we left. Yeah. Try to be more normal. Yeah. So that was that crazy thing. And then we moved to another house with neighbors with uh.
Well there was just the short list. That's not that crazy.
Now there is a guy who would check his mail shirtless every morning and there was a lady who put notes through the always with the notes.
There's always crazy people. That was kind of like, what's this like? Is there a piece of paper in the bushes? And you pick it up and it's like, hey, and it's a letter from a neighbor. And it was like, I can't get mail if you park where you park, like I park in my driveway. Where I live, like real crazy notes now is wild. Yeah, you know, it was kind of fun about our old house.
The the the when we just moved from. Yeah. Is um, because all the weird fruit trees in the backyard and it would attract rats. Yeah.
And then getting to kill those rats. Oh yeah. It was kind of cool. Yeah. Like inside the rat trap guy come out golf club.
No, no not like that.
But like I remember one time like fief would come running up with like a dead rat in his mouth and I'd be like, yeah, dog like I liked finding them in the backyard dead and all stuff.
And then I found a lot of them and now we're moving again. I know what's wrong with us. I don't want to move anymore. Tommy. This is it, right? This is it. No, no, babe, I can't move the kids again. Can't do it again.
Oh, yes, we are.
Where are we going to go after a couple of years? Will move to Miami and Miami will move to New York.
And then we're going to move back to L.A. and find they will settle down in Hong Kong.
Where am I going to get my plastic surgery and stuff? Oh, we'll come back here for that. Yeah, don't do that anywhere else.
This is where they do it best. What a stroll down memory lane jeans. Yeah, I know we've been through a lot of places and phases together, man. And now this new Ostin this whole new year.
I can tell you though, as much as Angelina as I am in my heart, for real, though, I'm still I'm ready. I'm ready to embrace this. I'm ready to embrace barbecue. I'm ready to say y'all. Are you going to say y'all? It's going to be. Yeah, but I say already. Oh yeah. Because you're from Hickory and they're saying, y'all a dog.
You say y'all. Like when I move there, do you think you will probably not. You're not going to say how y'all doing? I don't think so. Like I mean, I was raised by two Israeli parents who already say, like some English words, a little weird.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Like you say one. The one. So let's go into here's the big to the challenge.
This every week they keep they keep pouring in. These are fun.
It's your turn to take the dog out. You painted it in the.
No, it's a cute dog. Yeah. No, no, not like no. I love it. Yeah.
I almost done here in the Fool. You're big today. I don't know. The fuck are you doing? Can I tell you why I love these so much is that the stakes are so high for the men doing these challenges, you feel the gravitas?
Yeah, yeah. This can go really wrong for a guy.
Yeah. Then it looks like this was on the verge of going really wrong. Yeah, yeah, she was not having that. Those are my favorite ones. Yeah. Coming between what is going on?
My sorry, boss. Are you jealous he's going to be treated. Animal can still be important. Yeah.
What does she say. Coming back to them. What is going on. My sorry sorry boss of your colleagues. He's going to be treated. Animal can still be important compared to where they are before the.
I don't know. Are you filming me. Oh my man. So I love when the Brits do it.
I know so much better.
Action is fantastic because I'm going to take you through to go get dinner. All right. Big titted animal. What did an animal.
Well, just go back to the animal. A big titted animal, yeah, big tits. They're fine, they're not big, big enough.
OK, well, then big enough to the animal.
She's got a big slops. Those are good. They're nice.
Yeah. She had she had a good. This one's a special one for you. Right.
OK, well I'm not going to like Malya a lot.
I think Hungaria I can hear it because there's music. Yeah.
I mean how where is my breakfast you big tittered animal overnight I get lost and now I can't understand what she's saying.
So he says, where's my breakfast. You big today. I can't say she's mumbling.
Yeah, well we don't eat animal.
My hotel, my casino, like I watch the show to fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, shit, that is so great.
That is Art and Amanda, the other one, the Hungarians are all over.
And Lila, I wish I understood Lila, as Lila said back when he wrote to Brittany Miles and Naomi Ronay in the car and Bailey and Shane. I can't believe so.
Bailey knew who we were at the last one. No, that's Art and Amanda, Amanda, Neal, Amanda. She's like I listen to the show to you, fuckface.
Yeah. So we're doing that fuckface guy. That was funny.
You're seeing you've seen this rebel areas. Riding a horse and riding his bike down the stairs. Shoot, shoot, fucking nerds, just say shit.
I was watching the clip of the woman getting her back cracked from last week. I was dying. She's so brutalized in that.
Guess what? We have an update. Oh.
Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. We got one more to go right here. You OK? Right there. OK, there it is. What's up, everybody?
This is no pain. The rain. You remember her? She's alive. You well. You're healthy. You're happy. Yes. You're making my adjustment. Killed you. Yeah. And that crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Because he got so much traction. And I'm not saying like the internet it went viral, you know.
OK, like even on his ticktock that video had like eleven million views after I think is Lorraine's tongue habit. Oh yeah. I think so too. I think if she was like. Oh yeah. Little more there's no here, you know, a little less resistance from the right trap tissue.
Good old people stop now.
Oh, they're so frail, so frail, I'm so scared, man, why is it so funny?
These are all people getting adjusted. Uh, so poor lady.
Oh. Feels good, you good, just like Unprime could just take it there, huh?
What's his line? He's like you say, healing takes time in this day and it was on time. She's like. Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Like a good yeah, huh? They're good, they're better gone. What do you think of the bike ride? Well, that's hilarious because that guy's an idiot. You should have known better. That's that's fine. Yeah.
It's not like a kid like I was already. He's obese. Here's another one. He shouldn't be doing that.
No, the bike guy wasn't obese. Oh, no. Oh, he just looks fat. OK, well, maybe he could suck fat smokers cock.
All right, 120 pounds. You got to be, you know, got at least for me personally, I was 120 pounds when I was nine, 18 years old. Yeah. Maybe, you know, fucking hard. I was I was 120 in fifth grade.
Here we go. Ready? You got to watch, man.
Hold on. I gotta get my glasses cleaned up. Well, if you did it for me, I wouldn't have to fucking do it. God, I mean, like your life.
Tom, just you know, Tom and I have been doing this thing where we we snap at each other. Yeah, it's a joke between us, so don't get scared sometimes. Here we go. God.
Oh. Oh, oh, fuck. I like that and I like that, and I like skateboarders getting oh. God damn, I watch that again. Oh. But, you know, and they're not wearing any pads or anything that reminds me of the guy on the train got hit by the train because he goes flying to remember that.
Yeah, I'd say they go flying just as far as each other and his body. A lot less blood in this one. But you got to see this.
No, thank you. I changed my mind. I want to be on the text and be on it. I don't I change my mind. I don't need to see it sticks with me now.
I can't even handle that Jessica Biel show. What's going on here. Oh, hey, you see any vacuum? Oh, no, he's got a vacuum. Oh, yeah, so Bitsie does the dogs don't like vacuum cleaner. Oh, I don't like this at all. I'm not I don't like that. OK, can I ask you something? I don't see how are you not turned on?
You're not turned off by that at all. I mean, we have a dog that does the same thing, it's just like, yeah, so you can do it with your friends. Do you want me to do this, too?
Do I have to get cat ears and dog ears and paws put on? No. I mean, we doing pop play, it's not sexual, it's kind of cool, I kind of like it.
How about you be the dog and I vacuum? I'm doing all this other stuff for you. I'm the one getting my tits done. I'm the one getting tats. Can you at least pretend to be a dog? For me, it requires no surgery. Hello?
Nope. No, let me let you be the dog. Hey, you remember you remember this video from a few weeks ago? Oh, you little bastard, you want to challenge my pack?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I hate to say this, but I'm not the alpha. You want to challenge. Oh, because my shoe is right there.
So if you want to challenge one of us. Oh, boy, you got to go through all of us.
Oh God. Very cool. It's like these nerds watch what this nerd cartoon's. Is this like a nerd superhero thing? I think they go through us.
You got to go through Chris. You watch this nerd stuff. Isn't this like nerd culture? Is this a reference to some hentai or something? What is this called the anime that he watches? Yeah.
Isn't this like you go through me, you go through all of us in the wolf pack.
Now, this is stupid people. Yes.
Not I mean, OK, so do you want to see an update from that? Of course I live for this. OK, here's the update from the same guy.
One thing I'm going to say right now is that these just comics need to stop.
Oh, immediately, because my whole entire wardrobe involves work shirts, work pants and military shirts to birds. Mm hmm.
So I suggest you knock it all off about Mary, wear dresses and have them in my wardrobe because I don't. Nor I have any plans to buy more because I only have one device in my house, I keep locked up because it's my wife's wedding dress. And that is it, enough is enough. I am tired of seeing my comments being blown up every time he is on an air, just like this color of a dress.
You know, there's a plane that we've seen a few times where it's the person who like, how can you think that you can dictate comments like this? It's the it is the craziest thing. And I automatically go like, oh, you're going to see a lot more of those comments.
Yeah, it's going to elicit more. Yeah. And not only that, like let's say someone does leave you a shitty comment, you threatening them is not going to change their decision on you. Yeah. Like it's not going to help. No, of course. And also hold on, is this stolen valor.
He's like I wear military issued still. Yeah, I'm pretty clear.
He's mind was like, oh fuck. This guy was in the military. I think so.
He totally could have been. You don't know. I think he thinks he is or was. He thinks he's GI Joe. He's not. You never know know what he's doing. You really never know. This guy's on his own. Yeah, he's doing his own thing and stuff like that, doing his own thing.
I don't think that I don't think the military would take him.
I don't know. People are saying that his neck. Is that a dragon or a lizard?
Just a cool fucking wrong with you. Cool chain. Would you wear a cool amulet? I mean, I had a man in black onyx necklace with black diamonds, so.
Yeah, not that I want you to wear like a nerd thing.
Like we're like, please, like a dragon claw. I remember like I used to go to the psychic guy bookshop as a teenager and buy like the Dragon Claw, and it holds like I've been offered crystals. And people are like, you need to come get some cash.
You need to get why aren't you getting your crystals? You got to sort out your energy.
And I'm like, I don't you know who you're talking to? Do you not want to balance your energy?
Do you need to wear. OK, well, you were Crystal.
Not really but yeah. Yeah. Those right there, those are pretty cool.
You can get a crystal necklace subscription and then every month you're different birthstone.
First of all, if you wear those you can never wear a shirt. Those are for shirtless guys only. You know, now you're talking.
Yes. OK, so if I get on my bike, I start wearing crystals, you'll know that I can make a fire from nothing.
I don't wear shirts anymore.
And I think I've gotten deeply into, you know, Tantra, the Tantra, the spiritual life, you're into Holon if you're wearing reflexology reflex with strangers or how are you feeling right now doing it, you're definitely into men's groups where you orgasm together.
Yeah, but it's not sexual breathing your breath, work, work and allow the crystals to open your chakras.
Yeah, yeah. You start saying things about chakra lady. And do you think a lady ever what kind of lady's drawn to a guy who's like, oh my breath work is really.
Yeah. OK, um. Well I think women who who bathe in their menstrual blood. Yeah. Yeah. Well now here's a deal. I think that those guys there's a lot that are really sensitive. Yeah. Like like in San Francisco there's a lot of breastwork guys and crystal magic eyes. Yeah. Oh you have to have a lot of bracelets to show.
They love string bracelets.
They do love it and they're sensitive. They're you know. Sure. So if that's what you want.
But so, so the woman that's into that is definitely more natural. She probably wears recyclable reusable menstrual pads. She uses a menstrual cup. She washes her hair with sandalwood shampoo.
Uh, she's definitely vegan.
And you're going to have to go vegan to to be with her hair. Definitely doesn't shave her pits. No, no.
All. Gross, yeah, so chicks with a hairy piss, they love to take pictures. A point of personal privilege always. Yeah, hair, armpit hair privilege. Do you think this looks like. What about people that can't grow armpit hair? God, be mindful. Do better. Do you think this looked like me?
Well, congressional watch. I love it this me, but I love this welcome to Russia, you fucking pussy 10 below. I know she sells Celsius. Yeah, that's even more than 500, right.
Fuck you. Just sit in the snow. Oh yeah. Then they bayo they jump in the fucking ice water. Yeah. Oh yeah. With a bear. The Russians are amazing. Russians are fucking crazy. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Crazy.
Well you know, we haven't had like a real. Crazy guy in a while. Oh, a new book. You don't mind if I film you? I don't think that. Yeah, well, I just got out of the shower. I got you. OK, now, I just called the police. Listen, listen to me. Listen to me first. Let me talk first, Anderson.
Anderson, I'm famous. I'm famous. I'm YouTube famous. I'm YouTube famous. Let me see the pretty girl. The pretty girl cop. I don't want to see an ugly man cop. The pretty.
That's a dude. Oh, my God. You look like a woman. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Gracie, where did you guys find this? YouTube, it was submitted. I get I get I get so nervous talking back to law enforcement like that, yeah, I'm talking first kid crazy. Can't they just know I didn't mean that. No, I didn't. Are you accusing me of being homosexual? No.
But if I am homosexual, is there anything wrong with that?
Are you sure about that? There's a kill all the Jews. And you remember Ralph Fynes in that movie, the Steven Spielberg movie was wrong. You know what I'm talking about? You know, Schindler's List.
You look like the guy who shoots the Jews. He wakes up in the morning and he shoots the Jews who aren't working hard enough on the concept. I'm telling them, Johnny Bravo, where are you from again? Germany.
Joining me now from Berlin, it is it is wild to start to start talking to cops like that and they're outside your door. Fuck, that is actually a point of personal privilege here because.
Oh, my gosh, only a white guy could get away with this shit.
Man, I'm talking to you. All right, you fucking Nazi. It's a crazy, crazy town, crazy dude, I just called the police and told you want to check because they've been threatening to kill each other through the ceiling and yelling at me and banging on the door. And I just.
Earlier, there were two police officers that came here and they said by law, they do not have to identify their name and badge number have to go after.
Well, then how come on the Internet people, huh?
He is exhausting. It's almost like, you know, the great thing about the fat smoker clips is that they're so short, like you can't watch him for a minute. I know. I need like 30 seconds. I want to see the cops meet this guy.
I actually kind of want to see it kind of go for the same well, and they're being really nice to him and like, they're actually humoring you because the camera's on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, just fucking just Hoess.
Here's the best, though, right?
Like you have a fake dick. You he just shut the door and tried to hurt me. You just tried to push the door in my face. He just shut the door in my face and tried to bust it in my nose. Look, they're running from me again. Are you running from me? Are you running from me, mister? Not non-singing. I might not have. I'm thinking about killing Jews. Why are you jagoff? We at Wammy have found a new hero.
They come along every now and then this guy is going to be so entertaining. Do we have more? I hope not.
I don't want to watch him ever again. Oh, I'm excited.
I'm intrigued. I want really what other trouble he's going to get himself into. This is just the beginning of something really good. I don't think so.
Dude, you don't get it. I don't get it. Is he on the map at all? Because what is it? Dr. Drew says meth goes to the police, cops runs away. That's exactly right.
But this guy I'm I'm thinking I'm thinking this is mania. Oh, I think this is I mean, it could be drugs, too, but I think he's drugs or mental illness.
Yeah, I'm going to go drag. It's real crazy to when you see something, because this usually ends actually with someone getting hurt by the police. You're trying to like, provoke and say shit like that, you know, like that's not going to end well for you. Usually he's lucky.
Here's what I'm going to go drugs and not mental illness. Usually with mental illness. You hear a lot of stuff like and the number ninety nine and there's dragons in the walls and the and the you know, and the red, the white chariot's and dalgliesh like he's just doing like Yeah. You want to fucking fight me which is math talk like a fucking bitch. Yeah.
You fucking you know, not like he's super lucky to be alive. Oh my God.
That guy's and I really hate him. I really, really hate him. So do I. Yeah.
God can I take a page before we go any further. Sure.
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I pushed really hard. Are you supposed to push hard every time you doctors recommend that you do whenever you appear? I swear I do it. I always say to grab onto the side of the ball, pretend like you have moments to live and push as hard as you can.
I do every time I pee and I know it's not good. That's probably why you're doing well.
You're doing good. Yeah, well.
I don't care, I push, do you push when you pee, it's I just a girl thing know, I usually just let it kind of you do it your thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're with your penis privilege, with my penis privilege. Oh, yeah, so much for on it. All right.
You got some more crazies. Um, what you got for me, Sagara? Oh. I haven't seen this one. Let's see what this guy is all about. Go, go, go, go out here, buddy died. You know what?
This is too crazy. Oh, wow. I want to cleanse the talks. OK, this is something sweet right here. I think this is maybe this does come from a tick tock. This is a French dad with English speaking daughter and she's having him say English words that he can't pronounce.
Oh, it's sweet foreign stuff. Nice cleanse sorbet from crazy.
Sure. Why is my friends, that's for nonsense, health care, water for Hovell, this particular phones, 80 tablets.
That's adorable. You can't say my dad can never say, though he would say Basquiat instead of biscuit. My mom would say Ahluwalia.
Yeah. For aluminum foil. Yeah, it's crispy outside that's all. And she would say fuck ass she so you fuck ass which is not even.
Yeah no one really says fuck. I like. What are your Israeli parents say. There was let's see, I mean, I said, man, go wrong for the longest time, I'd call it Mongo Kizzire. Yeah, yeah.
And I wouldn't realize I extra pronounce like G at the end of words and denying. I didn't even realize I was wrong until like two years ago. You would pronounce what the G at the end of like say like oh I'm walking to the store walking. I've been called multiple times for pronouncing that last G. You mean as opposed to as opposed to just saying walking or walking. Walking like I really pronounce it.
Oh you really hit the G. Multiple people have hit me up there like you're saying it weird. I'm like I'm from Los Angeles. This is how we say it.
And then other Angelenos are like, that's not all we said because people called me out for making that G sound like a K, I'll say walking.
Yeah, that is weird. No. Yeah, that's a foreign parent thing. Yeah. That's weird.
Great. But what do you how are you supposed to say. Walking, walking, walking, walking. Where are you going to sneeze. Don't say anything to everybody.
Oh you did it. You just did it. Thanks. The fuck is wrong with you. Why would you do that. If you know it upsets me. What the fuck is wrong with you. I'm going to do something today that I hope you already did. I'm going to do something to try to ruin your day today, though. Was I supposed to do ignore Iowa? Yes. This is what your face looks like.
I look over and you go, right, because I want to sneeze and you just forget what I have done. Nothing that I have done. Just keep talking and stop and watch.
You already know this. You already stop and just watch you like that. No, just fucking keep talking.
Hot damn it. Did you fucking fart? Yeah. I didn't fart, did you fuckin fart? Ruined my day. I hope you have a bad day today and the rest of this week. OK. You see your shrink this week or what's going on? I heard you. I have to pass, so I wish I had a fart mic.
So I guess this needs to be said to all you people that think Biden is the president. You guys cannot get no stupider, OK? He's not in the White House. It's closed down. He is on a movie set.
You guys are so frickin ignorant that I just have to laugh, laugh, laugh, because I hurt my feelings. Never one time did Trump ever have to fake anything he's done. Not one time he don't fake shit. Why is Biden faking? He's in the White House. Oh, because he's not your president. Wake the fuck up. How can you be like you're so dumb? You realize that most people I've ever met in my life changed my life.
Wow. I didn't realize Biden was like, our country is full of people.
Like it's mostly full of people like this. It's really insane. There's like this is not like five people like this now. There's a few million people who are like, yeah.
Definitely just, you know, I did fart. Sorry, I wanted to clarify that before we go, I just full disclosure of Beyonce's. How are you getting home? I don't know, I forgot my phone today, so I can't even call and I'll call you when you're not riding with me. Oh, hold on.
I've got a large right in the street and soursop. I'm thinking I got a large, frightened and sweet and sour sauce.
I mean, I got water and sweet and sour come. Hey, I guess I guess that's the thing now the kids are getting their French fries and their sweet and sour. That's what I like his response to that.
He's duetting the stupidity of these French fry and sour sauce things I've got.
So I was thinking tonight. I'm angry and the issue is that women are fucking stupid, like literally, if you think about it, we could have just kept our mouths shut and we wouldn't have to work 40 hours a week, 40 plus hours a week. No, Syngman, I was not. So I wasn't making that much money elsewhere in fucking 80 hours a week. Like, I don't want to do that shit. Like, I'd rather have the man working hours.
We like to raise my kids, maintain a homestead like this is ridiculous women. This is our own fault. If you would have just kept your damn shut from talking about the right to work, like we'd be fine. Well, let's not talk about the right to vote. No, the big ass responsibility women. I don't want that responsibility. I want to stay home. I want to work out. I want to watch my baby. I wanna take care of the house.
I will cook. I will clean, honey. I will be on my knees every night.
And I don't understand why everyone was a fucking stupid lady. She's right.
She's a cool girl. She is super cool. We need a riff for the cool girl.
Yeah, she's pretty rad. That's a really cool chick. She's super cool. She took it to voting, too. I was like. She's like, oh man, she doesn't want to work, which I don't blame her blamer. She's grinding out 80 hour weeks.
I mean, God, a lot. It is a lot. But she's like, why do we have to fucking. But you can also find a guy who let you just stay home.
Oh yeah. Like you have the choice to of course, you just need to fucking level up, find someone.
Yeah. Level up. Everyone I want to know. What is your favorite cereal, your favorite cereal? Mine are corn flakes, so let me know what your favorite cereal is.
This is terrific. This is dancing to that question. You scare me with.
This is disco Bob. And he's got some other interesting videos, too, where he highlights the special Oreos he bought from what a boring to he's like mine or corn.
It's so boring, so fucking boring.
But he's really this nice. And I've done a deep dive on his posts and they're all very they're innocent. They're like, hey, you guys want to see me dance in my garage? Like, he's really sweet.
I don't like him. Yeah, I know. Those of you who are watching this tick tock video, I must have something serious to say. You are not allowed to meet up with any user who you may meet on tick tock, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter or even on YouTube. This is against the social media rules. I may turn to get some of that, but I don't have to meet up if I don't want to. The choice is mine.
I am an adult and I can choose to stay at home and obey the rules or go out and disobey the rules. Yeah, you can. If I do, my parents will be very disappointed in me. And this is the number one serious video that I'm making on Tock just to inform everybody to steer clear of anybody who you may think is trying to trick you. Oh, wow.
He's got some Potter lenses on his face. Those things are way.
But did you know magnifying? Did you know it was against the rules? I didn't know that people from tech talk Facebook. Instagram. Yeah.
I didn't know it was against the rules on that.
Yeah, because his parents will be very upset if. How old is he? I don't know.
Maybe I'm old enough to choose to go out if he wants to. Yeah. This is this found its way into your. Yeah, she's. Well, he usually makes funny talks, but this is his one serious talk, and I thought the people listening could really what are his funny ones like this?
Impressions, stuff and songs and things. Stuff like that.
I cannot believe you fucking sit through this shit. Hi, how's everybody doing good. I would like to have some more followers, especially are you single ladies comment about. Especially Comet and more followers. OK. That's where it cuts off, that's where cuts off. But go to the next one and you'll notice something really neat. Well, that's not him. No. It's not there. You guys distilled it because they're all this guy literally did. About 20 of the same exact message, but in different locations.
Same thing, the same thing. He goes he goes, hi, how are you guys doing? Good. I just want to know I want some more followers, if you could like, and comment. That would be great. Especially the lady. And he does it exactly the same, but in different places. I thought that was unique when cops ask questions.
Look, see, that's the rearview mirror. If you hang shit from it, like air freshener or anything, that's a vehicle code violation. Cop will pull you over.
I didn't know that. Did you know that? I did not know that. So he's going to have like 40 air fresheners.
I've seen those people.
So he's telling you how not to get pulled over.
And he's always like, shut the fuck up. That's his shirt. Yeah. Hashtag shut the fuck up. I didn't know you could get pulled over just for that. I didn't know either.
Do you still have your high school graduation tassels?
Yeah, of course. Well, my 96. I think it's so funny when people are like I graduated high school, shit, everybody, stupid the fuck, man, do you get a water bill, too?
That's pretty impressive. Do you not where your high school ring anymore? Yeah, no, I took it off. I'm having diamonds added to it. Well financed, by the way, I realized the privilege involved was saying that graduating high school is no big deal and that some people are like, I come from a community where, you know, a lot of people and I'd like to stop right now and address this, that that was very insensitive and that, you know, if if you are the first high school graduate in your family, that it's certainly commendable.
And, you know, maybe it's time to grow the fuck up and realize that it's not a big deal point of personal privilege.
OK, let's move on to the next thing. Stop, stop.
I love I love him, so this guy is such a joy on talk, he's got a million followers now and I'd like to congratulate myself for discovering him when he was very new. His whole thing is dressing in different outfits and saying, hello, bitch, and doing these different scenarios. Act him out.
I love is fashion. I love his attitude. I love everything about him.
What? What I don't understand what could you not like about hello, bitch, what's the what's his handle? I can't remember off hand. You have to look at it at Brandon. Brandon. It's he's fantastic, fantastic, like, really just a good talent bringing joy, my prediction on the tech talk world, much like dogface for 20, the cranberry juice drinking guy on the skateboard. Hello, bitch is going to blow up next. He's got that kind of potential to completely transform.
Oh, it's Aaron technophobia at Aaron Tech and nor HRO antics.
And ah, I think he's talented a shit. He's going to blow up next.
Well, congratulations, Aaron, on your million followers.
Yeah, he's doing the Lord's work on there. Don't compliment that bitch. You give her better. You don't compliment a bit. Yeah. Don't tell her nothing. Don't open a don't don't do nothing. Yeah. You think they're going to puke. You reregulate compliments. Fuck that bitch. They don't give a couple of minutes. That's why she's going fucking to seek the validation. The second you give a girl a compliment, her pussy get dried in a motherfucker.
Stop compliment on bitches. You fucking nice guys. Damn this shit is simple. This is not rocket science, fellas. This is not rocket science. Stop calling the girl all the time. Stop texting the girl out to act like you've got one hundred goddamn women at your beck and call. They have dated enough guys. Every woman has dated enough guys with options to know how they are looking at it. I am telling you, anyone who they know me would know that this guy obviously got a lot of option.
That's why they see. I wish I could tell you my text messages, text messages. They just pursue me, pursue me, pursue me.
Are we seeing each other as we get date on? Nina, this guy's the shit, yeah. Do you agree? Yeah, it's good, it's kind of. Well, here's the thing. He is one of those things where I go, he's right. But. Like it is kind of toxic advice, you know, I mean, like he's right, he's right, but he's also right for a certain type of woman, right?
Yeah. It's not for like a really good long lasting if you're talking about. Yeah. If you're talking about a girl that is exactly where you go. Like, I want to be like somebody who you go she's. You know, whatever interesting and smart and funny and witty and the full package, I don't think that you want to like not you know, but if you're talking about hookup stuff, then his tactic is correct.
Yeah, I think you're right. Absolutely. The guy that's just out to get his DNA trying to get laid.
His advice is spot on.
It is you can't be like this is just player stuff. It's you're just playing. This is how you play. Yes, that's right. Because you're always way more attractive in the dating world when you're when you're aloof and mysterious, like Jackie Onassis. I think that's what he's saying.
But I don't know. There's there's also a there's a line of like when it becomes not worth it. Right. What do you know if someone's too aloof? Oh, it's. And then you really don't like you. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean but I just remember back when I was single, I mean you do feel like that time off with a stick, you know. But do you feel that working as a woman, how do you feel about the compliment part.
Because there is like a line for that, right? I want to come. Yeah, here's the deal. Here's what here's how it goes. You don't want him complimenting you until you've decided that you like that you like him.
The guy who leads with the compliment immediately, you're kind of like, that's kind of a pussy dryer. Yeah.
Just because it is kind of a beater move and you're so you're so pretty well like, you know, shit.
That's why you came to talk to me, because you obviously are attracted to me. You don't need to tell me that. And not only that, it's kind of not it's a weak thing. I'm not responsible for how I look. It's not something I did. Right. So it's like a stupid compliment.
Well, women are fucking stupid.
Yeah, you got to remember that. Like, I would rather a guy come up to me and and compliment something that is an intrinsic value that I actually compliment that bitch. Yeah.
That I actually have, you know, something. Right, like your. Oh, I heard that thing you said on that podcast or. Yeah. I like how you think.
I like how you speak. I like sex. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But if someone just being like you're you're hot, you're like so what. Like I didn't do that. That's not mine. Right. Right. Interesting. Yeah. It is fucking crazy. I mean he's he is. He's right.
He's right. It's so negative. It's so toxic.
But I'll tell you. It does look, when I was a younger girl, there were guys that would pull this aloof shit on you and it is hot. It is it's immediately alluring because you're like, oh, he doesn't give a fuck about me. Every other guy on the planet is telling me how cute I am. Right. Why is he not interested in me? And then it makes you interested in that, right? He's right. Again, I say this, but how would the guy do it?
When I was 20, that was exciting. And then you grow up and you're like, oh, was dammit.
I would be aloof to, you know, um. So when all the other guys are giving you so much attention, like saying how pretty you are, you're right. Like maybe you're at a party and he's not he's going to ignore you in the beginning. Yeah. And he's coming up to you. Not coming. He does not come up to you. Um. Maybe, yeah, like he'll walk away as you're talking to him and not be like super interested and then you're like and then you're like, wow, uh, and he's not trying to, like, get your number or, like, be all up in your fucking shit.
Yeah. Um, yeah. Like, he might not call right away. That's another thing. He might give it a minute. Now I say call because the last time I was single was a million years ago. I mean now it's like text. He won't just right away.
Yeah. You know, made my dick soft one time is that I went on a date with this girl and it was a good date and I liked her and she as I left, was texting me eager beaver. I was like, it's gross. We just we just made out. And now you're like, I got to see you again, like, huh, too much. It was too soon for too much. That's the other thing. Too much.
Once you're got the wheels going, it's fine because you're different. You guys, you're in love. But but the courting sporting stuff, you used to be a little you need to be a little face to it. A little bit up in this.
Yeah. Also you can tell when a girl likes you, you know, I think camp mentor. Can you tell sometimes. Girl sometimes we're dumb.
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you think, you know, I mean, like because it can be subtle. Here's the thing, though. These guys that are playing. OK, so I'm trying to think of the guys in my million years ago who I thought were cute, OK? The guy that's a player they can do this usually has tons of girls in his rotation. Yes. And then you know that he's a player and he has a lot of girls.
So, you know, you're trying to get his attention because he fucks a lot. Yeah, that's that's how that dynamic has to be there first. Yeah. Like this guy, he definitely that guy fucks. Yeah. He's like, I wish I could show you my text messages man. Yes.
Don't compliment that bitch. Yeah. So if he's a guy who's got all these rotation, the girl that's attracted that knows already. Yeah. So you're into being ignored but he is definitely giving good. Oh his handle is alpha male something. Alpha male strategist. Oh yeah. OK, strategist. I love that there's a lane of this bunch of guys like me tell you how to talk to a bitch.
Man that's great. So aggressive. Not wrong. Wrong. Not wrong. Yeah, I wish this would have been my big brother, you know, when I was in middle school, Amy, stop feeling sorry for that bitch. It's true.
You know, the best way is at least what happened to me back in the day is to make friends with the girl that friends is wet, like in those circles, so that when you socialize, like on a Friday night, there's a party that you're in her vicinity, yet you're not like up her twat. And then eventually you get what you normally. Yeah, that's true. You don't want to tear apart her pussy lips.
What did you say? Oh, he terahertz. Why did God forbid smoking man that was so cool that we got that gift today.
I know who. Yeah.
Terrorism toilettes to pieces. Gee he sounds like a pirate. So cool. Yeah. He should have done cartoons.
You might cry kid. You can have my cock lady. Yeah he. Oh this was the best one. I just suck my cock a little bit just because I'm a good sport.
Because he's a good sport.
That's if you're over 120. One 20, he's the man I love, you fed smoke or rest in peace. Donald, um, all right, we got to wrap it up, um, hopefully we'll see you on Friday at the live show MGE, super excited about the live show, live streamed out.
Why Image Studios dot com to get your tickets. I highly recommend. Listen, everybody goes there at Showtime. A lot of people, you have a chance if you plan on watching it, get your ticket beforehand. You won't have to deal with any of the traffic of people arriving all at the same time. And yes, you can see it for an entire week. So if you want to watch after the livestream, you give it like a couple of hours to reprocess the upload it again and you can watch it for a whole week.
But if you want to see it live, like I said, goes down on Friday, six p.m. Pacific Time, great guests can be a great show. Anything else, Jean? I love you. Love you, too. Sorry I ruined your sneeze.
It's OK. Do you forgive me? Yeah, I forgive you. You put out later. All right. Here's, uh.
You think you're tough in parentheses? I deserve a steak by our track numbers. See you next week.
Find people your top fuck you pick it up. And I just i, i, i, i, i, I prefer i, i, i how bad. I just like. I just don't think I could get no matter how mad I think I to get a paper. I just don't think I can trigger, no matter how mad, I think I could get mad. I just I think I just figured, no matter how mad, I just think I just figured I'd pay for it.
I just I think I just thought. Right. No matter how mad, I think I could get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and. Then your topic and your topic. Yeah, I just I think I figured out that no matter how smart, I just I to write a paper, I think I could get up no matter what I.