598 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom SeguraYour Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
- 1,681 views
- 7 Apr 2021
Did you miss the 4th episode of YMH LIVE?! You still have a chance to watch it for a limited time only! Just go to https://livestream.ymhstudios.com now to get access to the craziest YMH LIVE yet! SPONSORS: - Go to https://Watchgang.com/YMH and use code YMH for 20% off your first purchase - Visit https://mudwtr.com/ymh to support the show and use code YMH at check out for $5 off. - Go to https://hellotushy.com/YOURMOM get 10% off your order and FREE shipping - Get 20% off and free shipping at https://Manscaped.com/MOM - Go to https://www.expressvpn.com/YOURMOM to get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free - Go to https://Whoop.com and use code "Yourmom" for 15% off - Head over to https://Revtown.com/YMH to upgrade your denim game today! - Go to https://keeps.com/MOM to receive your first month of treatment for free. WELCOME TO LUCIFER'S LAIR!! This week, Tom Segura and Christina P recap YMH Live 4, watch audience reactions to the heavy segment, discusses public defecation and Disneyland debauchery, and take a look at guys in tight biker shorts. They watch videos of Fedsmoker talking to an extremely patient cop, a PSA about weight bias, an insane Russian marriage proposal, some "Horrible or Hilarious" videos, and, of course, Christina's TikTok curations.
Hey, guys, if you missed it live, you can still watch Winemaker's live for right now, had to live streamed that Wiimote Studios Dotcom to see the wildest and funniest show we have done yet.
And you like to see Dick's I mean, like, would you if somebody showed you outlines of boobs, don't you just like any boobs? I guess I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. But I thought you would want like like a fucking hog and one, you know, of course, that's what I'm looking for.
Kim Jong un. Maybe this episode is brought to you by a watch gang. I love that watch gang gives you the option to choose types of watches that fit your style. So like some people like classic, you know, leather strap, I guess my dad goes for I've always preferred stainless steel or sporty, like the rubber bands you pick what works for you and then they give you different styles, watches that look cool, different colors, everything that like feels like it can go with anything, you know.
So like I have a watch that I if I'm wearing black, this is a silver watch or if I'm wearing something a different color that give you the options. Do you feel like you have like an eclectic mix of different watches, which is the world's largest watch? Kleban is revolutionizing the way we buy and discover watches, which allows casual watch enthusiasts and the watch obsessed alike to build your watch collection.
Go to watch gang dotcom slash y image and get started. Now use code y M.H. for 20 percent off your first purchase. That's watch gang dotcom y. M.H. The code is y mh for 20 percent off.
Jean, you've got to try mud water. It's a great alternative to coffee. It has for a Daptone genic mushrooms with Lyor Vedic or. Oh my goodness I know the advanced it really is with one seventh the caffeine as a cup of coffee you get energy without the anxiety jitters or the crash of coffee.
You know, I'm I drink so much stuff throughout the day just to keep me going. And I started drinking mud water because it's just kind of a nice ride. Like I said, you don't get to crash. And also, I don't like the acidity of coffee, and this bypasses all of that. Each ingredient was added for a purpose. Cachao and Chai for mood and a micro dose of caffeine, lion's mane for alertness, cordyceps to help support physical performance.
Chagga and Reishi to support your immune system. Turmeric, turmeric, turmeric for soreness and cinnamon for antioxidants.
And listen, I don't know what all that stuff is. I'll tell you, it tastes great. Thanks. I feel great when I drink mud water and that's what matters. Mud is a hundred percent USDA organic, non GMOs, gluten free vegan, whole thirty and kosher. Please visit mud water dotcom IMH. That's M u.d. w tr dotcom slash y image to support the show and use code Y I made to check out for five dollars off.
This episode of Your Mom's House is brought to you by Satava.
Go to Satava Satava Dotcom the shit and get two hundred and twenty five dollars off your mattress purchase.
Hi, welcome to Luciferase Player. Just rather thall champagne here. You all know my juice by now but I guess the new one you want to call come over and done one seven three five three two nine three. I bought something and they want to be brought up like before. They never but it is falling apart the three to one in six of the delays. I want to come in for a new game and that fifty two to be done with waiting for the High Court session.
Get ready plagued. That red flag kicked the bucket nicknamed the decoy foam, OK, you smoke cigars, OK? My mother wants to change wheat corn to me and we had one way to go after. See, we're proud of you. That was awesome. Please put up more videos like that. I mean, look, I have to tell you, though, his videos have gotten better. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
The horniness is at a fever and he can't take it anymore. He's now he's resorted to just ejaculating in front of people because he can't take his horniness. And yeah, I totally get it bleated. He's begged, he's put it out there and now he's just going to masturbate in front of him.
Yeah. That's a whole mood right there.
You've been saying the phrase all morning. I bought something out to want to be brought up and brought it out.
Our piece is always inspiring us for years.
The man I love him the most iconic person on why image to date, I would argue. I would say this is definitely definitely shake it up.
They go to Coney Island and try to Coney Island.
Such a great man. I've been riding a high since Friday, Friday. Same here. I think that was arguably the best way IMH live. We've had it.
No, it was. And you know, these things are always subjective. So people, you know, will agree, disagree. But what if from what I've seen, most people feel the same way? It was it was awesome. I'll tell you it.
Let me say that I think I speak for all of us here and everybody probably at home, that it's a real disappointment to see you today.
I imagine that you would be disappointed and the staff and the energy is different now that Tina's gone. Yeah, she was here. I've been bummed out. Yeah. Yeah.
I've noticed that your penis has been much limper and you don't look at me as much as what's the point?
We'll get into it all here in a moment. If you miss the live show, you can still watch it through this coming weekend. I'm going to have it extended. So through the weekend, go to live streamed at Wiimote Studios dot com and yeah, watch Winemaker's live for will go through a whole bunch of stuff that happened on the show here in a moment. But let's, uh, let's get into this here.
Don't see the opening clip. Yeah. There's always this guy is one of my faves. Oh this is a different guy. Oh different guy. You're going to I think you're really going to like this guy, though. He seems cool.
Yeah, well, I don't know about you, but I'm sleeping with the fan on you tonight, baby. It'd be me. Yeah.
Seems pretty cool. Oh.
Is Randy like going in with. No. The is. Well. Well, go to your mom's house with Tom Seguro. And Christina. Welcome to your. And. POW, pow, pow. That's what I'm talking about.
Now, this is just like a chill new kind of cool and I thought, yeah, he's, uh, we've met him before. Have we? Well, I've seen him on the talk. Then maybe you guys aren't familiar. Oh, he's an alcoholic and he's checked out OK.
No, I'm serious because he's always like I went to the pub strapped, went on I got to go to work tomorrow. He's a he's a hot mess. He's great.
I just thought, like, it was kind of one of those things that would be fun to go, like, you know, it's kind of a throwback to like, what are we seeing here? Are we seeing like a manic episode or are we seeing maybe someone pop some Adderall just to wake up, you know, just like what's going on?
Yeah, he definitely has a cool look in his eye.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's right. But he's using his fan, which is what you like to do too. So, yeah, I don't usually make videos like this.
I'm sleeping with the fan on tonight. Maybe, uh, good.
Because he actually made this and was like oh like people this cocktailing. This is a cool thing to show people, you know.
There's a fan on in my face. The thing is all right, Tom. Yeah, I like to see this stuff you do like I follow him and I. I want to see it to. I know, I know about you, but I'm sleeping with the fan on you tonight, baby, baby.
You think he's hammered? Yeah, really?
Because I've seen his his other talks and he's always like, I'm hung over going to the pub. It's like I got this point. I got a point.
I work hard, play hard, live like three, six, five. You know what it is. So we do hear. That is what we do here, because we are riding a high from Friday. I have been smiling media all week and you and I have just been in the best mood. Well, here's the thing. It was so fun. It was just so fun. And I think, you know, we work really hard on putting the live shows together.
It really is a huge like group effort. And from like production, you know, reaching out to people. I mean, people know now. But you you know, if they don't know. You want to say, my God, it was pretty amazing, you guys, that's on the live show we did. Meanwhile, we had Marcus King. They did like such an incredible performance that he did an original song. They did a cover of War Pigs.
It was just like and Chris DiStefano, who was just like made for this, like, oh, my people. I was thinking about it. Some people, you know, we've had a lot of funny people as guests on our show. Some people are funny. And then there's people who are funny and it works like it's a perfect marriage on the show. And I mean, like, yeah. So he his personality, the sensibility of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you do you zone in on the stuff we kind of do. And he was so, so fun and Chris and then you know, the real the showstopper of course was that you finally did the right thing.
And you you looked respectable for once, for once it was my transformation into Tina. Yes. Your new love of your life. And that transformation was over the course of two days. I it was wild. It was like four hours.
And I'm still out of prosthetics. It's been like, yeah, a few days and I'm just fully empty.
Well, we had to bang in the studio. You guys didn't know this. But when we stopped down and we were all done, Tom and I fucked on the set.
Yeah, pretty cool couch. It was pretty cool. It was pretty hot, right? Yeah, it was.
You know, it felt like if sometimes like when you disrespect a woman, it doesn't feel right, but like it felt like the right thing to do it because Tina. Like that abuse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved it. That's what she leaves.
I like you know, when I'm with Christina I'm like, yeah, I'll go take a shower. But like with Tina I was like, the fuck are you talking about? Like this is what you earned. This is what you're all about. She doesn't deserve a shower.
No, she doesn't deserve any, you know, and like, you know, I never spit in your face. But when you're Tina, you know, I knew that that that's like that's like blowing you a kiss. Yeah.
You really like that. And did you like finally getting rid of these pathetic hungry tits and get real tits on me.
Real fucking tits on you. Yeah.
You really like those huh. What about the tats on the tits. Oh God.
You know what's great is that when Chris DiStefano walked in and I was getting it all done to me and he was like, oh, he didn't recognize me first.
And he's like, oh, I love it. You could be.
He's like, you're my next baby mama. Yeah, everybody, this is what I like. Chrissy, I'm like, Are you serious?
I'm talking like I had knuckle tats that said Tom forever. Yeah, I had about the eyebrows. Perfect. I had everything. You were perfect. Perfect. Yeah. And I have to say that it like it was cool that I got the experience to to be basically like a crazy looking porno chick for a few hours.
There's a I know I now I know why girls do it. There's a lot of power in it.
Yeah. This is you know, it's really interesting. There's the there's the initial, uh, kind of like, you know. Wow. Of of seeing it. Right. You react in the moment. Yeah. But then it's kind of it's kind of interesting to like break it down as like a social experiment. Yeah. You got you got to do it because I've seen social experiments like this where they go, they put a thin person in a fat suit and they walk around and they're like, oh my God, I was treated so differently.
Yeah. Yeah, right. Like they were shamed and people had disdain for them, but they got to experience what it's like. Yeah. And there's that famous SNL sketch from, you know, thirty years ago where Eddie Murphy put on like a white sketch. Yeah, yeah. But he walked around and like walked into a bank and they're like, would you like a loan? Like, you know, it's a joke, but it's an experiment.
But you got to go from, like, you know, normal woman, right. To like, super slut, right.
Where sex is your super power. Yeah. And I have to say, you guys are always like, so cool to me. And I felt the energy shift. It changed to do the head thing that you did to me this morning where you're like a normal guy looks at you like this.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is a this is for real. This is the switch. And this is like I've felt it before. It's it's not even conscious. It's it's like primal biological DNA wiring. We're like you look at a normal woman, you know, like this. And then it's like a whore like that.
You go like, yes, yes. It's like your brain going, you should fuck that. Yeah. You need to impregnate that. Yeah. Yeah. And I felt it from like I would say, except for Chris Larson, who's legit. I mean, Chris is quiet.
I think Chris was also like, that's a disgusting look. Like he wasn't like, oh, that's appealing. He was like, that's a broken woman that needs therapy and help. And she probably needs a shelter to live in, you know. How did you feel, Chris?
Because you were the quietest of all the boys. I mean, yeah, like it was a traumatizing look, but it's still made my dick hard for sure.
I yes, I can't believe yes that yes, I cannot believe he said that.
You know, we've been trying to get Chris to say something inappropriate for a year, like fucking feels like 15 years.
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And it's still made his dick hard. I'm telling you, it's not even you're not even thinking about it. It's just automatic. We we're still animals that are.
Yeah. So you so so what it is is the hyper sexuality. It's extra big tits, the extra big lips, the extra everything. So extra. Now does that make your dick hard too or is that too big to crack.
Well that's such an extreme like. I'm not soft, right, you know, I mean, still there there's a little blood flow, Chris, it's still get hard when you see that one. That's a yes. OK, yes. Yeah.
Wow. Wow. Your mom's house will have you feel it in your master. It's just sad look at her face. That doesn't make me think I was a good clip to you guys.
Really found some bangers in the heavy. This amazing, I think, clavicles made this.
This is a piece of art and this is rad. He took a photo, I think, and he took this photo. I don't know. Or Lindsay took it. I don't remember who took this photo.
I think it might have been any. But he threw the, like, Pulp Fiction artwork on it. So cool.
And also my favorite, the tat the tats is your head. And then there's horns coming out of your head, which is just the best. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
This is a man breaking down what winemaker's life for was like, oh, my God, it was amazing. It was. It really was. It was so like that's the thing is, I've said it before, but it's so the live shows to me are feel like when I'm on tour and and you have a show one night where you're like, that was that was a banger. Yeah. So the next morning you're walking through the hotel and. Yeah.
Oh man. Elektro fun. It was all on everything was that. It was on just a few more words about being a tattoo. Yeah. Yeah.
So I, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed wearing the tattoos. Yeah. I actually really, really liked them. Well you kept an arm sleeve.
I kept, I ask them to keep one of the sleeves on not daddy with the double horns because I didn't want our kids to completely cry when they saw me, but I kept the left sleeve would like that.
It actually looked rad. It was so cool. And then I kept here. I still have. I kept her because I like 13 like you 13. But the knuckle tats were awesome and I really still want to get those. And I think I want a sleeve because I liked walking around our neighborhood with it. The next day I wore like I was suburban mom outfit with the sleeve and it was rad.
Those face tights look good.
I don't know what the face. The face was really aggressive. But you know, what I was thinking was because I knew what you were talking about and you said, you know, you could feel you feel the shirts yourself a little different. You feel like the the power.
I was like, I kind of wish everyone could jump, like could try this, like every woman to get hypersexual and then men with the equivalent, whatever the equivalent is, you know, it's kind of different to to dress a man. I wish you would do that. Well, what are you going to do? Can we hyper sexualized? I mean, I'm pretty fucking hardcore sexy.
I don't know what you would do to me.
You know, I was thinking, though, I would rather have you be more softer. Yeah. That's what you see.
Because, you know, with this hypersexual lady, you were Jizan on me all weekend and I was like, OK, I can of like, I kind of I wouldn't mind you moving into a different direction a little like now with your health kick your fucking juice and all the time you're making your shakes reading spinach, spinach. I mean, maybe, maybe could we, like, snuggle a little bit more. Yeah, I mean, I just think I know that you can come can you can you cuddle is what I'm asking for.
I see what you mean.
You we'll just be a little. Yeah, I mean, you're very masculine. I really like that about you, but it's always like.
Oh yeah. You know, like just a little softer. Yeah. OK, that'll be my experiment. OK, I'll try. Let's get use often. Oh, I was going to say the one thing I didn't like about being hyper sex girl. Yeah. Is that when you're this identity, like the tats and the tits and the hair and the doorknocker and the lips, there's no down time. Like, you're right. I think what's the problem with this identity is that it's always you're always that person.
And in regular life, like one night I like to look like her, like, yeah, maybe I'll wear a trampy dress out for dinner with Tom. And I'm like this girl for one night and then you take off the makeup. Yeah. I think when you're always this way, that's when I noticed that.
Weird when, you know, when we finally left you put on what strippers wear when they're done stripping, which is baggy sweats because baggy sweats tell the world, hey, don't sex don't. Yeah, don't sexualize me. Every human being has the right to go. I'm wearing baggy sweats and that means I want to relax. Like, I don't want to be approached.
Stop. Put your dick in me. Yeah, well, your dick away, your Dick Clark, everybody. And that's the porn girl and strippers like announcement to the world. I'm not working right now.
Like, please let me just let me just get a fucking bag of chips and a fucking soda.
I just want to relax.
Yeah, but Tina, she can get anything she wanted in this world. Yeah. Yeah.
That bitch could ruin countries and ruin lives.
Oh ruin. Yeah. Ruin marriages ruin. She's a she's a home wrecker that one.
Oh yeah. But also like every record I also feel like you know, it wouldn't even register. So be like what. Yeah. Yeah. Blew those six guys. So what. That's the last one. But I and then the guy's like so hot baby.
I'm the guy that marries like that girl has a husband like you have a husband. He's like I love what you fucks like eight guys.
Yeah. Who's the guy that's like who's the guy that really is in Vegas. Yeah. He's a Vegas guy. Definitely loves it. He's got a lot of shiny shit.
Yeah. Shiny suits always with party. Got a lot. He wears a lot of rings. Yeah. No he's got got a lot of wristbands. A party guy. He's a party guy for sure. A party guy and he's like your fuck or you want to fuck her.
I love it. I love it babe.
Um speaking of the live show we asked and we have because it was so fun, I got tagged in fucking hundreds of stories on Instagram and I think people also emailed in there reacting to heavy. Oh my God.
It's kind of one of my favorite things to watch are people reacting because it's just it's fun. It makes you feel like you're alive, like part of the show. And so I haven't seen these yet, but they're in my folder.
Oh, here's some some people watching the heavy segment. And it's really it's really fun to see these. I think people want to see growth. What the fuck? Oh, no, no, please. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. This is where I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That's Julia J, here's Alex Kay. Oh, my goodness. What are you doing?
Opening up. What is he doing? Oh, God.
Oh God, not here. Pigs, no, stop, please, please stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Oh my God. Oh it's so great. Yeah. Andrew B..
No, go at the same time. That's why we have no weapons. Do you want me to do we do now. Why there's so much anxiety.
O o o o you in his rocket. No one is the best. Oh, my God made me laugh so hard, these are making me laugh all weekend. Here's Danielle Bee.
This is one of these days, madame. The cat is like, what's happening? Oh, yeah, oh, you know, what's he doing now?
She looks really traumatized, but everybody, you can hear us in the studio and we're the same way. It's so horrible.
That was a crazy heavy user, the club, but the whole heavy segment had like such. It was like a symphony.
It was really it was it built it beautifully. I mean, it really was something special. And I love that there was there was a like kind of a soft opening. So people were like, this is not so bad. It's like kind of progress's. It's exactly what a heavy segment should be.
It starts with on a little amuse. Yeah. They're like they're fucking on a mountain. Yeah. And then you get your appetizer and the soup and then wait a minute, this is different.
Then you're like you want to drink some fucking gasoline to close this thing out.
It's crazy man. It's crazy anyways. Yeah. I mean thank everybody. Thank you to everybody that joined us. Thank you to everybody that works here. You guys, I really wish it was a great thing for the fact that was so much fun.
Yeah, it was. I just I love the amount of I just love the how much people care about our show and how much we care and everyone cares. It's nice.
It's fun. It's so much fun. It was so fun. It was fun to become Tina and it was fun to meet the king. I mean.
And do you really see my queen above 18 was just. Yeah, it's just time to wake up. You went on a date with this guy Yarbro and you'll see it on the live show.
I don't want to give too much away about our courtship, but we learned a lot about him. Yeah. Uh, we got to learn about how to order merch and everything.
And he's got a new business enterprise that you guys are going to hear all about. It's pretty wild. He's really expanding the wildest shit I've ever heard and good for him and good for him. Millionaire now with his new business model. OK, you could only figure out how to order.
Yeah. So, yeah, you know what it is. Lifestream that way. My studio's dot com link in the description. Check it out if you haven't yet. It was it was really a blast. Um yeah.
So God damn it.
God damn it is. Right.
Just so we descended from Friday we and then into Easter Sunday, we had relatives over and we also had a relative that we face timed with who was home, home with his family where we're going to talk about this.
Sure. Why I'm so excited that you're bringing it.
And it was just like I was like I didn't say it because I was like, hey, he was like I was. And he had a mask on. We were like, What are you doing?
Yeah. So hold on, back it up.
Like, this person was in his in his own home with his two small children, either side of him wearing a mask so wild.
It was the craziest. And I saw it and I immediately was so upset by it that I was like, no, no.
And I turn and I ignored him. Everyone else was talking. I was like, I can't. I can't. It was really strange. And he's been vaccinated. Yeah. Braw So like, are we done serious out here?
And I was like, OK, I didn't bring it up.
That was I was like, how's it going? Christ. All right.
The future of toileting has arrived. It's technically been around for centuries, but hideously expensive, costing thousands. Now, the brand new Hello Toshie 3.0 Modern Bidet Attachment is here to level the playing field. It is stylish, eco friendly, easy to install and affordable. Hello, Toshie 3.0 doesn't just cleanse your butt with a precise stream of fresh water. It cleans itself before and after its use with the smart spray automatic self-cleaning nozzle it attaches to your existing toilet requires no electricity or additional plumbing and cuts toilet paper use by 80 percent.
So the Hello Toshiba de pays for itself in a few months because with hello to you don't wipe at all. You just poop spray dry and go. And sanitation is simple. The Schmutz shield offers easy cleaning and the knobs are naturally anti microbial. You guys have to try it. We have one. We've loved it. It's like a fire hose on your butt. Go to hello Toshie dot com, slash your mom, get ten percent off your order and free shipping.
Hey Mommy, it's time to follow Proteau and shave your balls.
Our sponsor for Today show Manscape is here to treat all of your queens above eighteen with fresh shaving balls get twenty percent off and free shipping at manscape dotcom. Mom, look here you big ticket animals are coming up in May. You are in luck because the manscape performance package is the ultimate men's hygiene bundle. This bundle includes a lot more 3.0 trimmer, the best camera on the market for your balls. But in body, a clean scrum allows no excuses for someone to be stingy.
Included in this package is the weed whacker, ear and nose hair trimmer, which is waterproof. And uses a nine thousand R.P.M. motor powered dual blade system. There's no hair left when you're done with that thing. There's there's no options for hair.
It's absolutely fantastic. Get 20 percent off, plus free shipping at manscape dotcom. Mom, thank you. Manscape for making sure our pubes don't pop out of our high and tight jeans. Get 20 percent off and free shipping at manscape dotcom. Mom, that's 20 percent off with free shipping at manscape dotcom slash. Mom, shave your funk and stay away from Garth's trunk with manscape.
I mean, you know, this whole this whole year, it has affected people differently. Everyone's going in different directions.
I mean, I know people that are still. Oh, we got. Oh, my God. We were on an email chain with parents. Know you.
First of all, I back up. So Saturday morning we're all tired and hungover from. And Tom comes into the kitchen at six thirty in the morning. We're up with our kids. He's ear to ear smiling. And I go, What are you so happy?
You said, no. You literally said, Oh, let me see it. I can't. Yeah, you said you look happy. You look happy this morning.
Did you see something horrible on the Internet? That's what you said to me, because nothing I know and it's that nothing makes you as happy as like a Twitter war or a fucking nasty email chain or a crazy Facebook like.
I mean, have you guys been watching the show?
Yeah, I know. But like, I see the Twitter war and I'm like, that is cancer. Yep. You, on the other hand, are like, what's going on? What's going on? Can I see it again.
Yeah. Who's getting who's getting in fights. You love it.
OK, so let's let's go through the um. So you're talking about the email chain between email and Google, which is fine.
And this kind of this this really made me sit up straight. I was like, oh, that's interesting.
So basically I don't want to quote it because, you know. Exactly, but essentially parent. So it's parents that, you know, they share when you when your kids in a school, they'll give every parent the email of all the parents.
Not anymore. But and and then they're Geike that after this episode. Now it's just all it's just parents. So now no school administrators, teachers. It's just a way for parents to latch on, especially with this year.
They'll be like, hey, you know, like when school was closed, they'll say, we're taking our kid to this park. If you want to bring your kid will be there tomorrow. Playdate.
Yeah, we're all going to wear masks, will all be sanitized. So everything in this thing has been like that, like playdate, blah, blah, blah, you know, and you read it and you're like, OK. And then that morning somebody writes, hey, you know, I didn't I didn't know whether or not to send this to the group or not, but I've decided to announce when I was like, your ears perked, right?
And I was like, what's this? Oh, juicy.
And it says, you know, we've done so well so far and we're almost out of this thing. So let's not screw it up for everybody this weekend. And basically, the kids had a week off from school spring break. Yeah. And and the school made it so that to come back to school, you have to get the kid tested. COVA tested again, regardless of what where you live or what the kid did or anything. So which we complied with.
Yeah, of course we applied whatever test.
So but then the person in this email said, if you got your kid tested on Friday and Sunday, Sunday was Easter. They go and you plan on having like an Easter extravaganza in which you'll see new people and extended family. You're not doing anybody any favors and that's not fair. So please keep your kid out of school next week. But this was a parent saying it to the group of parents, right? So I just was smiling because I was like I was crazy person and funny that you're going to try to dictate that, you know?
So I just smiled and I was like, oh, part of my brain was like, I wonder if someone's going to, like, throw a jab back.
You know how happy you are. I mean, to me, I see that email. I'm like, this person's sad.
They're full of anxiety. They feel that Tom is like, well, it was all it's got a part of me gets like, are you really lecturing?
Like insanity? It's these parent threads are always insane. So I don't by the way, I've never responded. No. Any of them. No one ever engaged anybody on it. They're just to read and laugh at.
So honestly, I'm a little offended that they would give my email out. I feel like I'm a little too important of a person. Yeah.
So so anyways, I was like, OK, I guess we're just going to open bank accounts.
And so anyway, I see this email and I just laugh, right? I laugh and and then I'm just waiting and waiting. And then yesterday or was it this morning, this morning, this morning, a mom goes, I was thinking I was debating whether or not to send this, but here goes and it's to the group.
So I was like, oh, your step.
And this mom goes, listen, everything has been fine with the law. There's no cases at the school.
Not one, not one this whole time. And I'll tell you what I did this weekend. We went somewhere with our family and we wore masks when we were around people and we didn't when we didn't have to. And I'm coming to school tomorrow, whether you like it or not. And it was like, what now?
I got so juiced up.
I was like, oh, if you read this email yet, mom drama. Yeah. And I'm now I'm just like, I want to finish this show just so I can start reading and see if there's a response.
Yeah, well I was thinking and she called out the mom but to a group of like 20 all the moms in the class, these are all the mom, the parents in.
I think I'm going to jump in and be like, look, as the only celebrity in the street, keep this.
Well, listen to what I had. I had a feeling because I'm I like the principle. I stand behind her. I think she's bright. I think that she's protected everybody thus far. Not one case of covid at her school. She's done a good job. I was thinking because I forwarded her our son's negative covid tests, as I was told to do, being like, hey, principal, just a heads up. The parents are fired up about.
You told her? Well, that's what I'm debating.
Should I do it or not? No, no, no, no. Then I thought better of it. No, don't, don't. But think about the kerosine on that fire.
Wait, let's just see if someone would if I gave the principal a heads up, then she got in on the drama and then you could read that, Jane, we're leaving soon anyways.
It'll be so much fun. I know. Where is it? I it to you this morning, the last response. And I like that mom who responded, she's they're all cool, actually, I. I wasn't aware there was such nervous Nellies in the lunch. It's funny with parents, do you, because you can tell who the nervous Nellies are, because they're the ones who send out the most emails and respond is that they're not no response yet.
But I bet she's cooking something up. You think she's preparing like you are putting some thought into it, you psycho? Well, I mean, I'm not going to jump in, but I'm just going to win. Well, that's the thing, though.
Do you just enjoy as a spectator or will you jump in as a spectator thing for me in private life? Look, if somebody says something directly to me that's different, that's different, or somebody says something about my kid, fuck off, you're going to get the full fucking wrath of evil that exists inside of me. But. If you just want to engage each other, I'm going to watch. Yeah, what about Twitter? Do you you do get involved in Twitter models?
Rarely, rarely ever expected a spectator stuff.
What about the Graham you instigate on the Graham anymore? No, Don. Totally done. Totally done. I grew up. I really don't.
I see I see stuff all the time. I mean, I don't even I don't look as much as I used to, but I'll see something. I don't I don't respond, you know.
So now in hindsight, that one time you had the incident at the sushi restaurant when you were traveling and then you encouraged our listeners to get on their yelp and write them a negative Yelp review. Do you think that's that was a good thing? I was immature. Yeah. That was immature and emotional. Yeah. I don't I don't I'm not proud that I did that, honestly. Really? No, I mean, I realize that it's pretty funny.
I, I realize that they were wrong too. Yeah. But the way that I handled it was, it was a very emotional, immature thing to do. You really have grown. Yeah. I mean, you know, this is the softer side I was looking for. Oh fuck that shit.
No, I shouldn't have done that. I like this Tom. Yeah.
Yeah, I like the I like evolved like you're very alpha. You could go a little better. I'm not saying you have to wear crystal crystal rocks around your neck, but I like this guy. Yeah. Just don't turn vegan because I don't think I can.
Oh yeah. That's that's right around the corner from me. Could you imagine you would die if you were a meat eater? Yeah, no, I haven't eaten really any red meat in a while. That's probably good for you, though. That's good. Like, mix it up. You know, a lot of chicken. I was your browns. Have your browns been better? Oh, somewhat, yeah, I just I haven't heard you be like, oh, that was a slop.
No, no. Yeah, but I've been eating so clean that yeah it's good.
You haven't been diarrhea as much. Oh yeah. I'm down a hole like a shirt size and crazy town. I love it. So you're going to do like, like Christian Bale shit, you know. Yeah. Like look like a fucking AIDS patient. Yeah.
You're you're on your way to AIDS. You're HIV skinny right now. Yeah. Yeah. What was that. The Machinist or something. Oh my gosh. You have to do that. They want to see what it's like, it's like, look, you or your horse suit, I want to do that. Did he really is that real? Yeah, he really got that thing. That's wild.
Christian Bale, the best actor. He's so great.
You know, he's my one of my favorite guys for that. For the other, for Batman and for me. How did he get that?
Can they just ask you why he starved himself? He definitely shouldn't do this. Doctor, he is going to do that for me. I want you, Christian Bale, skinny. You want me like that? Like The Machinist. I got big tits. You can do that. OK, if that's if that's what turns you on, I want here's what I want you to be. I want you to be like a guy in our neighborhood, jogger skinny.
And he wears like the biker shorts and he's shirtless. That's about one eighty one eighty five. I want to see you jogging in your biker shorts and shirtless around town like a get that could be a good girl and then making noises and then when people are like, hey, man, how much weight you can lose.
Like a wife wants to see me shirtless, jogging, they'll just be my answer like that.
Yeah. Check this out. This has made me laugh for weeks. I haven't played it almost time if you know what's happening.
Keep going. Keep going. You got it. You got hit upon you. There we go.
What was that part? That's the part. You get it. I don't get it. Never watch again.
Almost. Keep going. Keep going. You got. You go. Keep going. There we go.
Oh, now do you get it? Kind of. Did his airbag go off? Yes.
OK, but his head didn't come out the window at all. Really. I thought we were into decapitation stuff.
No, no. So if you're listening or if you don't, still don't understand what's happening somehow this Silverado, um, you know, pretty big pickup truck was up on three wheels of one in suspended in the air and had run into a light post like a big cement light post.
And I don't know. I mean, we don't know how it got there, but then he backs up off of it with the guy filming. And when the car lands down, like off of it onto the ground, a bit later, his airbags go off and his hat goes flying out the window. But it's like it's super. You don't usually get to see something like that. No, it is very special. Thank you for sharing.
OK, how did he end up like this? Keep going. Keep going. Two wheels on it. Yeah, you go. You go. You gotta man.
That dude, by the way, is probably unconscious in the car.
Did you airbags kill you more than like they don't kill you, but they knock people out. And I know a couple of people that had airbags go off and black and blue, you know. I know. Oh yeah. Because they come out. So it's supposed to keep you, you know, the impact. Yeah. Of like a major out of speed. So they come out really fast. I think it can lead to cervical spine injuries, fractures, strains, blunt force trauma, fractures to the skull ribcage, face arms and wrist concussions, brain swelling, brain bruising and loss of consciousness.
And this they might have all happened on this.
I because that guy here's the thing is like in an accident, it's not like you're expecting it. But this guy definitely was not expecting that. You know, he might not have had a seatbelt on.
And he's just like, yeah, you know, yeah, I got it off the light, but pow like, punched in the face, you know, because you're just casually sitting there relaxed and that comes out in the room.
Yeah. Anyways, thanks for sharing. That is really special.
Here's another thing that's kind of special, I think, to see if you.
Yeah, I don't know if you've seen this, but you're seeing somebody like, yeah, I've seen this in Venice Beach by panhandling, but he's laying on a thing and then. Oh yeah, trading places is the beginning. And this guy is doing he's taking this guy's pants off who's asking for money, which you're like, oh my God, that's so abusive. Right, like leave this poor legless man alone. Come on. And then you see that he has legs now.
I have no doubt. That's a good racket, though. It's a good scam. Yeah, it's a good scam.
I I admire that because I think he probably does make a killing as a legless guy. Yeah. That's a really good racket. Well, sure.
Because he just, you know. Yeah, I would just swims on his board all day on his Weale board to be like, oh, this poor man.
Well, let's talk about it.
What do you think's a better racket? Is it the sympathy play or is it the entertaining play? Do you? Well, it's much easier to get sympathy. Entertainment takes skill. That's true. It's much harder.
I mean, like, you know, you see these guys like if you're in New York, you get on the subway and sometimes you'll see, like, breakdancers, love that. And you go like, this is a real performance. You know, the. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like you're not tired after a day of sympathy. Yeah, but these guys, this guy is doing this shit. You're just fucking with people.
Essentially you're messing with their emotions. You are. But I'm I'm more apt to give the entertainer money for sure because you go oh that was clever.
Like but even if this was legit I'd be like, I'm not giving you any money, just grow some legs man, you know, but like if it's a breakdancer or something, I'm like, that's that's always to me.
I like the effort of entertaining. And when they get you, I love when they get you in New York City like pretty lady and they get you on the gag or whatever, like you ever see the, like, bucket drummers like.
I love that one. Yeah. I mean that's it's a that is a musician. So he's he's playing for you, you know, it's. Yeah. I've given money for that. I've given money that back in Venice Beach back in the 80s, they had so many of those entertainers used to just be a row of them. There was a guy who would juggle chainsaws. Yeah, he was really famous.
The break dancing was huge when I was a little kid at school. That was so fun.
Yeah, they practiced that for like thousands of hours. I know. But these legless fucks on skateboards. No way. Right, Tom?
That's yeah, yeah, fuck those guys, yeah, fuck you. Well, this guy's pretending to be legless. I mean, really fuck him, you know. Yeah, that's a piece of shit.
But that's not this is not that far removed from calling up an old lady and being like, oh, have you changed your banking information?
She's like, oh, yeah, where should I send it?
You know, I wish I could see their tax returns and know who makes more money, the legless beggar or the talented.
That guy. I don't know. I know I saw a news like a local news piece one time that staked out and followed a bullshit person like, you know, like at the end of a offramp. And they're like this person made like six hundred dollars today doing this. And then they just they stay in dirty clothes and, you know, go back to their place and they come back the next day making thousands of dollars. Damn.
Yeah. Yeah. Not to say that there aren't legitimately, you know, people begging that need it. I'm just saying that that is a that can be a big scam for sure. But I respect the entertainer much more.
Yeah. I like when you earn your living, even if it's just like a magic show. There was a guy doing a magic show a while back in Santa Monica. I like that kind of stuff.
Even if your skill is you drop your pants and you take a shit on the sidewalk, I'd like to show, you know.
That's a cool show to pay for. Yeah, um, well, that's a nice video. Is it a federal crime to shit in public federal?
Come on, that's a model for public defecation. Public defecation is a federal crime.
Why wouldn't it? No, I don't think so. It's just frowned upon. I doubt it's a federal it's a misdemeanor. It's a California code violation. Yeah, public defecation.
I mean, people are doing it right now in California a lot. No one's tagging them. Oh, yeah, it's unlawful, but it's a California thing, you realize that in, like, really think it's in the Constitution, it's, you know, it's like in really crowded places, like places like in India. And you see people just go to the bathroom all the time. Oh, I know. And I learned about it on our show when we did a segment a while ago, a few years ago on public defecation in India.
It was a saying, remember, do you remember? It was ugly.
Do you remember Nadaf? What was that?
Yeah, there was just a news report of just massive public defecation and like one of the, like, lakes or something in India. What about in China?
Didn't you say people were pooping in the streets a lot in China and China? They poop indoors like in the mall and stuff. That's right. I was in Hong Kong even or in Macao. They had some like don't fit in here. Signs like don't shit on the floor. Right.
But that's because, like in China and mainlanders who don't live in cities that live like in rural parts, they defecate openly. So then when they go to Beijing or something, they're just like, oh, I'll just sit here and no, no, no, no, you can't you can't just sit in the ground here. Yeah. It kind of makes sense when you think about, you know, why they do it, it makes sense. Yeah, sure.
You want, you know, for some reason reminded me of when we went to Disneyland and we went on the haunted mansion ride and I was talking about giving hand jobs or something and people would write in, remember? And they were like, oh, yeah, I totally gave him. Yeah. I want to scatter ashes on the on the rides. We have to stop people from doing stuff like what is wrong with Criss and jobs on small world, not just kids everywhere.
Man come. You're going to come on this thing so fucked up. I'd rather you scatter your ashes than come on, come on, world. Yeah, yeah. I'm not even and I can understand the allure of not Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh, I can feel it. Mm.
That's because it's a small world so fucked up in the haunted mansion.
Now that's a good ride to to get a handle on. Yeah. Dark.
You're in the dark for a long time now, but like there's like there's all these jarring movements like OK, I'm feeling and then you turn the other way not to come but I got scared.
Where do you think you could come on Space Mountain. It's dark.
Here's the thing, though. How close it might have coming before we get there. Are we going from, like, full soft? It's a lot of work. What if I work you up in the line? Oh, my God. We're as we're getting on and then by the time you're sitting down, you're already like you're ready to talk to God but God.
And then, you know, I still feel like the employees would be like, you got to stop doing that, man. But are they watching so much?
They're noticed now. They're like, we've seen her play with your dick the whole time you've been in line. And we're going to call security here in a second. Look at all the families here, man.
What about Thunder, Thunder, Splash Mountain or Thunder Mountain? Splash, man?
I can be like, it's not come, it's water from Splash. Yeah, that's the nice part about coming on Splash Mountain is that you can clean your pants off by the end of the ride so nobody will be any wiser.
Yeah, I got to say, it's one of the less appealing things I've heard in a while. I'm not really into.
OK, let me just run this by you. You have to I get a handjob on a ride. Which ride will it be? I have to get a handle on a ride at Disney, a Disney, is it Dumbo because you OK, so you have a lot of little kids, really little kids, but you're in your own private little Dumbo elephant. Is it going to be hard to come with all the people screaming? Yes and yes.
Also, I'm going into this scenario assuming I haven't come in like two weeks.
Right. Because I can't imagine being like, I can't wait until we leave Disney.
I have to go now.
You're so worked up.
Is it Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, which is also nice and calm and just like, oh, I'm I'm looking at Minnie Mouse like this.
Like, you got that down. Fully predatory. She's the prey. Yeah. Is it Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, which is also dark, but kind of herky jerky.
Many Peter Pan nice and dark too. Yeah, but that one's got you can fly, you can fly.
You get like it's going to be hard to come with all the kid, the kid songs around.
You just feel like I would still be like, I don't want to come here.
I want to leave. You have to. Is it jungle cruise.
Can't even know half these fucking things. We just wrote these when skiddle turned four I checked out.
You think I was paying attention.
You have to pick. OK, Pirates of the Caribbean. Now you run this one right here. Peter Pan flight. Yeah, that's that's Euro Disney.
So I don't know if it's going to. That's what I'll do. Let's go to Paris. I'll fucking come anywhere there.
All the little French kids like Mama, Mama still come clear, you come back of it.
How do you say that man is coming on the ride in front of you?
Oh, my God, no, I don't know. Oh, yes.
That man is ejaculating in four match in French and French.
Dude, no, scratch that out. OK, but English. Yeah. To French. I just sing the song and then. No, no, no, no, no. Just that again for you. And then you text that you put the tape in there.
Yeah. That, yeah, this will be interesting to see, and then you can hear the voice. There you go. System is screwed. There you go. My mom, my mom, my my sister. There you go.
Do you think you wouldn't care as much because it's Euro Disney? I'd be like, you're not you know, they're not uptight. The French are very open. They probably be like, yes, I wouldn't be banned or cancelled. They're never like there.
Is that the American comedian who he may be white all over the city said to me, there is the cameraman, but I bet you Euro Disney, there are rides made to come on.
That's how cool the French are. The French Delight.
You guys ready to French come literally abide by it, live like three, six, five. They always live life. Three, six. Yeah.
And I bet they have alcohol everywhere. They're Euro Disney. You know how we're lame and only in Orlando you can you can get drunk in Orlando that that there are bars in the um the Disney in Orlando. Really.
Dude, I heard one time someone was like, do we go to the Orlando Disney just to get feted at their bars?
I'm like, that sounds terrible.
Why would you go to Disneyland to get go to a bar. Yeah, like it's so expensive. Just go to a regular bar. Yeah. Bar nightclub blues at Disneyworld, Florida. Yeah. Florida is just Farrall, they are crazy. Yeah, but you can only drink in one place in Disney, America and sorry California. At the Club 33, they said you need a membership. It's a private club. You have the secret secret.
But I'm sure in your of Euro Disney they're like you can do heroin, you can do blow ejaculate on all these rides. It's good to teach kids how to have fun.
It's good to teach kids that life's about fucking are rarely we do this. But I got to go beat you. You're kidding.
Good. I always have to pee. Express VPN lets you change your online locations. You can control where you want sites to think you're located. You open the app, select the location, tap one button to connect and refresh the page to access thousands of new shows and movies. You know what I like done? I like my UK shows. I like all things Royals and I use Express VPN. I open it up, I open up Netflix and now boom.
A lot of people aren't aware that, that they restrict content based on where you live. So you get totally different libraries if you're in Canada, France, Japan, China, like it's all different. So, you know, by by changing your location, you're getting all new content.
Yeah. Even I subscribe to Brit Box now, and I can do that because of Express VPN. You can stream in HD. No problem. No buffering or lag. It's compatible with all your devices, your phones, laptops, your media consoles, smart TVs, more go to express VPN dotcom, slash your mom to get an extra three months of express VPN for free express VPN Dotcom your mom. This episode is brought to you by our partner.
Tom and I are huge fans of Woop.
We love it. We track how we sleep, you track how much strain you put on your body when you worked out how many calories you're burning. It's great to keep your fitness on track and helps you solve all the burning questions with its built in coaching features. Um, yeah. Group is something I would recommend to anyone, regardless of their fitness level. The data provides is so helpful to anyone who wants to know themselves on a better level, especially if you're working towards goals like you and I are losing weight now.
Yeah, it's just you don't you can't get this insight any other way. That's the thing, is that you're getting insight on your body. It's so awesome.
And for our listeners today, if you've been thinking about giving up a shot, there's no better time to give it a shot for our listeners. You can save fifty percent off of Woop with the code. Your mom go to woop, woop, dotcom use code your mom at checkout to save yourself. Fifteen percent off today. No yourself with personalized recovery strain and sleep insights from Woop.
Wow, what a break. Yeah that felt real good. Did you push. Yeah and I just let it flow. You relax. Do you sit down. Ever know.
Do you ever sit down to pee. No.
Like not even when you're sick. Maybe you not like really sick. Sure. Yeah. A person drugged for a while, yeah, something fun you got really good at that, too. You know, he used to do that a lot, actually. Um, one of my favorite people ever. How are you doing, buddy?
Hey, I'm sure if you're available, I don't know what your schedule is.
I want you to stop me from going in and check with Barry's going open for three more minutes. I can wait three minutes. Yeah. You got to turn the camera off. Go inside.
Why? Oh, inside. Inside. All right. OK. Is there a problem with being here with Barry? No, sir. I didn't think it was so. This is America, right? Oh, my God. Oh, yes. Have we ever been on record before? Oh, yes, sir.
We have met before. Are you trying to block me? I'm trying to into Bill. OK, I think he was the first one I seen last time I tried to talk to Denker. It's so aggressive.
Here we go. I mean, it's like discovering the Ark of the Covenant or something like every, you know, I mean, you're like, how much more to this story?
And he's such a menace. And I'm still so I'm so glad I never met him in a way, but. I when I see this, I'm like, God, you're like, it's so but you love it because it's like 10 mom email chains. Yeah, exactly like what's going to happen.
But even though I disapprove, I'm like, that's not cool. This guy is just going to wear it like he's he's never been a dick to this guy.
And he comes in hot.
He comes in like you trying to block me like, oh my God, I'm just going.
And you could tell it's funny because what's saving this guy right now is his uniform. You know, it's also what's attracting it. So fat smokers approaching him because he's a cop. But the only reason Facebook is not like assaulting him is because he's a cop, you know. Yeah. And the guy you could tell that the guy's thrown by him, he's like, oh, God, yeah.
Yeah. He registry going to be you know what his schedule is. All right. Well, I'll shut the camera off, I guess, when I go in there. I appreciate that. All right. You're not breaking any certain rules by block. And if you do block because job, imagine I was going to get one of them white signs. I'm going to try to support Danker. You guys have those here I. All right. I'll wait three minutes.
All right. I appreciate that. Thank you. Woodbury, Woodbury. Americans coming in for the block. They've got a nose ring here, dirty this country. Is Obama on your watch? Well, Fox in. He didn't follow protocol, but you're done. This is early fed smoker, his hair looks good. Uh, he looks healthier there.
This might come second, but he said Obama. So this is. Yeah. So this is. Yeah. During the Obama presidency. Well, maybe maybe we should inform Obama that this exists. I think so. Yeah. He's next. I love that. He's always talking about where we like that.
This is America. Right. Like that's like he's a constitutional guy. He's the guy we following the Constitution. Well, he's a CIA double agent. Yeah, that's true. That's what they do. Or he does. OK, yeah. There is a shout out. Yeah.
Dirty this country is Obama with the train in the background. Yeah. It's all perfect. It's all, it's just it's perfect. Fed smoker clip.
This is like how Salay Moon Frye captured every moment of her childhood and adolescence and made a documentary. Yeah.
He captured so much of his life and his missions and now we're finding all of this. Yeah. So his go to is are because, you know, you start to see the patterns. I want to talk to somebody. This is America. You could lose your job. Yes. You could get fired. The threats and then something vulgar. Always fuckface, fuckhead.
You know you love it. Take it easy. Fuck out of contract. Yeah. And he's always so strange, right?
Because this time he says this is America, right? Yeah. We got that initial clip, the very first one.
I'm a hockey American. You fuck. Yeah.
He likes to be American and very American, you know, very patriotic. This he tells he tells this guy, um, let me see if it's not. Yeah. Because, you know, just your job.
Imagine your job and then you're fired, but you're fired.
You didn't follow protocol, issuing threats and then being the executer of the threat to then he fires people even though he has no authority to fire.
Yes. But in his mind, he's out there doing the Lord's work.
You know what's up there, Chaumont? You. Oh, coddled. Rest in Proteau body rest and Proteau body got such a such a fun guy. We need vigilantes like that, don't we need people out there enforcing the rules. The Guardian Angels of the World. Yeah.
You want to see one of the wildest fucking things I've seen in a while. OK, so. We are everybody knows that one country that always delivers with like. Fucking crazy shit is Russia, right? They just yeah, and they they don't fuck around. No, they don't fuck around at all.
And they never had and they never have. So, you know, growing up, I would hear Russian jokes like, you know, how we make fun of whatever ethnic unforgettable Americans make. But Hungarians historically make fun of Russians because the Russians occupied how stupid or crazy they are. So this is not a new legacy. Yeah, yeah. But crazy like savages.
Yeah. Yeah. And tough Rasputin and wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember seeing Stalin killed. Mentioned that before. And Hitler is the big sign that there's a like if you their version of cops. You'll see. Like the cops there, there's not like I'm calling internal affairs, you know, I mean, like I am like you.
You hit me with your elbow, like they they'll kick you in your fucking face.
Don't give a fuck, are you? Just disappear.
Yeah. You just just disappear there anyway. Like those girls from Pussy Riot. Aren't they in a gulag somewhere? Because I spoke out against the government. Probably.
Here we go. Check this out. Ready. Yeah. Look over here. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I'm like, look.
Two people pinned down, a fucking machine guns drawn in your fucking bag here. Yeah, I mean, who knows what you know? I like super aggressive KGB. Yes, cocaine watch. That's the best thing I've ever seen, these two psychos deserve each other if she thinks that's right. She was like, that was awesome. Oh my gosh, these two are perfect.
This ended up being a proposal. If you're listening, this guy is pinned to the car with his lady, with, you know, masked armed men holding them down.
They pull the bag out and like, what the fuck is this?
And then they give him a bag and he opens it and it's the ring. And he's like, gets down on one knee like a glove.
You see, like, I'm so traumatized right now and shit my pants, but I love you. This is terrible.
I would be so panicked. This is the worst proposal I've ever seen. Yeah, it's pretty bad, but it's memorable.
It's super memorable. This is terrible. Yeah, but how do you even read, like, 10 years from now. Yeah. 20 years. 30 years. Like, hey, what was your proposal like. It was pretty cool. It was traumatic. We got pulled over. I thought I was going to die.
And he cautioned that he must be a cop too or something, something like that.
Or he's got obviously, you know, friends on the force. And then he was just like, hey, do me a favor and put the safety on, OK? When you.
But it does go to show how tough Russian women are. Yeah, exactly. You did this phase at all. If you. Yeah.
You do this to an American woman should be like fuck up. I don't think she should be still screaming.
Of course she's like, oh my God, thank you. So romantic. Course I love you Gauke.
Yeah. I mean your name is American is you know, Bech. Yeah. The baseball game. Yeah. They put it up on the or you have to go to the restaurant and they, they, they put it in the cake right there. What's in the cake. This was like guns drawn to your head. So romantic and pinned down to a car.
And he's like a surprise.
It's crazy. I love you. That's crazy. Crazy. It's not on there.
But I mentioned it on the live show. A Netflix EF1 tried to survive speaking in Europe, right? The show is unbelievable, and I'm only mentioning it here because I realize on the live show it's not hitting the full audience. It's one of the best docu series I've ever seen. And I didn't go into it like, yes, I do like cars. I buy a car, fan enthusiast, whatever you wanna call it. I've never been into motorsports.
Like following racing. The show is so good. It it really it makes you emotionally invest in drivers and teams storylines. It's one of the the best shows of this type I've seen and it's so well done that you literally will watch it and be like, I guess I'm a Formula One fan because it just it draws you in. It's so well done. Anyways, just kudos to that show. And if you're looking for something to watch, I'm telling you, Formula One driver to survive, start with season one.
Obviously, just go through it. It's it's super.
Well, I heard you watching it last night because I was drifting off to sleep and all the way.
And here's the thing. A Formula One race on average, about 90 minutes. Yeah, but in the show, you know, the way they cut it, it's just you're just watching a couple minutes of the actual race, but they cut it in such a dramatic way that you're super invested in the race, in the drama. And and I didn't realize, like, Formula One's actually really small. You know, it's like 10 teams, 20 each team has like two drivers and they're so close to each other that there's like it's like family drama, you know, and a driver can get cut or quit a team and sign with another team, a bunch of that going on.
They just do it really well. They really do it. It is an intimate. So explain this to me. So formula in one is like Ferrari has that car, Ferrari, McLaren, Lamborghini, Lamborghini doesn't have a team.
There's Mercedes, Mercedes Benz car. Ronald Reagan. Yeah, I know. Um, there's a few other teams.
So, so these car companies will manufacture like. Yeah. Some of them are independent, like racing teams like the Williams racing team and you know, like the hottest team there, you know, those are not like probably manufacturers or people you're aware with. But then there's like that be W.T. was just bought by this billionaire Canadian guy, um, trying to think, yeah, there's the Red Bull racing. But anyway, the most the most popular the most famous team for sure is Ferrari.
And then the most dominant as of late is Mercedes. But you, like you learn this and you get to know like the personalities and the team manage the money that goes into maintaining and competing at this level is extraordinary. I so much magic even like don't they have to change out the tires.
The tires are these these cars are multimillion dollar cars. You know, this is not you can't get in this car if you know how to drive a regular car. But like I guess I could drive this car. No, no way.
Well, I've seen, like, documentaries on race car drivers. They have to actually be in great shape.
These guys are all in pretty good shape. And, you know, in F1, they sometimes are hitting two hundred and fifteen miles an hour in this car like I think kilometers, no kilometers, miles an hour. Oh, they are. It didn't turn taking turns at one eighty. I mean, it's it's fucking insane. And the crashes are. Holy shit, man.
Yeah. Look at that. That's Wildy Grand Prix the fastest times. Two hundred thirty miles an hour. Three hundred and seventy two kilometers an hour. It's fucking it's crazy. I mean you end up having like so much respect for their skills and but it's what you invested in. The show is not rottenest. It's not a racing show. You're investing in like actual people and you're emotionally invested in the characters in the drama. It's not it's not like you're like, oh, but it's a car.
It's not about cars.
I agree. And that's how I feel about Love Island, Australia. Yeah, it's pretty. It's not just about the hot bod. Yes.
You're will they end up together, like, by the way, you started that and I was I don't watch this bullshit and then you're going to bed.
I was like I going to keep watching Love Island Australia. It's on Hulu.
We're in it. I like to have a little glass of wine and watch that one. It's so dumb. And they're in bikinis. It's so dumb and you end up caring again.
This is Shout Out to Rob Ilar for this recommendation. He got us hooked into this.
This is like trash TV. It's the best.
But but you end up actually being like, man, if he breaks up with her is going to be real interesting because they're.
So here's why it works. Because it's Australian. So they're not as savvy. These people are not experienced reality stars yet.
So they do get emotionally invested. If they get another, they get most invested.
They won. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that one's like the hottest chick. What's her name. Tyler Taylor. Taylor.
It sounds like Taylor. But Australia might no, but she spells it that way. Taylor Yeah, but when I when they said her name, I thought, Oh, TAYLOR And they're just saying it with an Australian accent.
No, it's Taylor. It's always good trash.
And here's my favorite to. Oh, there is your girl. There's your girl on the far right. That's Tina. That's like. Ah, really? Well, she's got the tats and she's the one that's got the makeup on.
She's your favorite one, the far right. I can't see her because it's covered. Yeah. No, she's the one with the makeup and the hair and she's always like, I'll fucking cut that girl.
Oh. If she tries to take my boy I'll say I'm drawn to her. That's true. Yeah. She's the, the trashier. She's fun. But if they're not in their swimsuits they're working out, which is like the whole show, they're like on the push ups and yoga and talking to each other saying hot.
Yeah. They're just staying home, just staying hot.
It's wild like and everyone's drinking water. All the American shows, they drink booze on reality shows. On this show. You're hot. I can drink some water. Yeah. Yeah.
I just pound water the whole eight pound water and they do sit ups and shit and talk about each other. It's really funny.
I think they just as like a, you know, decent sized backyard and like the girls are hanging out one side and then the boys on the other and they're all just being like, she's hot. Right?
But then one dumdum tries to play two girls at once. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't work in a house that's just like that's also like real life.
That is like real life. Like you you try to be slick and then it fucking blows up on you. Yeah.
So he was trying, he's hooked up with one girl and then he, he fancies another girl. I'll give you a snog. Yeah.
He wants to snog the other one and she's like, oh my God, I can't snog here.
And then oh because.
And then she tells the other girl, like, did you, by the way, want a real fucking cunt move? Can I just tell you? You think so? Yes, because it's not a real relationship that they're in. And she was like, he will it cause me, like, stop being a fucking you know, like, I disagree, Tom.
I think you fucking rat no hos. Before Brose, you wouldn't tell your bro if he was being too time by some hussy maybe.
If he and by the way, that girl's really invested, I'm saying like she's so into him devastate her.
You're watching the show and you're like, I guess I've been dating for what, six months. Like, no, they met Monday. It's fucking Thursday.
She's like I mean, we together are like like she's so and you're like, all right, just chill the fuck out of here. Yeah, but that's that's why you end up getting hooked. It's because they care. They care than you care.
You know what what you like is confrontation and drama. What I like is mental illness. And that's why your mom's house works so well, because it's I'm fascinated by mental illness and you're fascinated by confrontation.
That's true. And when two great tastes taste great together. Fudge and caramel. Yeah. Peanut butter and chocolate, it's what Fed smoker is through. And Robert Rapprochements. Not violent, you know, violent. Possibly. We also know that it brought it up would be funny is if you and I showed up on Love Island, I mean there, like I said, next single person.
It's a middle aged. Yeah. Then I walk out. I'm the only guy without abs. And there are like, um. And then this PSA just plays as I'm talking, like you guys want you on our team.
You're slow in fact. But millions of people are impacted by obesity. Oh, don't you care what other people think? You need to do something about your weight training.
They face unfair bias every day.
Oh, you're not the right fit for this job. Weight bias is harmful. Oh, I see. You haven't lost weight. You must not be trying hard enough. I am. And everyone keeps judging me. I'm eating right. I'm exercising. I'm trying to lose weight, but it's just too much. What's your words and actions matter? Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect and some bias and how to help end it. Visits stop wait.
Bias Dotcom be a part of the solution. Let's stop wait bikes. Let's work together to stop weepies bias today. Jesus Christ. This is real. Yes, real.
Stop. Wait Byas. This is real, and you know what, if this gets me on Love Island, Australia, I'm going to send this to the producers and be like, stop keeping me off the show.
I deserve to be on the show and celebrated as hot, even with my excess weight. So do you think we should do Love Island Fatty's Husky's? Love island, not hot, you're not, but you're not fat, you're you're no, you're perfect. Yes, that's how I feel. I think we should have.
Well, this is a good point. You know, we should stop the weight bias and give them their own version of everything. So I want to see Fat Love Island, by the way.
It's very manipulative to throw a kid with a list of fat adults. It's like, OK, and then the kids like no ego. What about me?
I'm and fat. I don't like that. We've got a lift to a fat kid with a lisp.
All right. It's not fair. I'm a mom. I my heart strings. Yeah, you sound like it. It's a real effect.
No, I'm mad that they made me feel something. I'm mad because I do feel bad for them. Yeah. But I don't want to stop making fun of fat people and I don't want to stop shaming them because I don't think you should be fat.
I don't think it's good for you. The more you know. OK. Very cool, cool message, Tom. But. Nadav, how is your fat going? Are you on your diet? How's my fat going? It's an interesting way to ask the question. I agree with you on that. Yeah, it's going great. Are you dieting?
Uh, I don't know why, but I have a mental blockage that you said you were going to start a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah. So you're like I mean, time went on this weekend and then on Monday. But then I was just like, yeah, but what if they ask questions right before my second test are like, oh, I don't think you fit the criteria.
And this is why I don't know, do I have some sort of mental blockage or like I just one more one more day and then I'll get back on it. I'm just I'm trying to find the motivation.
When's your next, uh, shot? It is Sunday. It's the sun.
OK, so how about Monday? Once you give yourself the rest of the week. Oh, I see. So let's do the rest. No, well, you don't have to. I'm just saying like like give myself the rest of this week and then well or whatever.
Do it tomorrow. I'm no, I'm just asking you if you mean.
No. Yeah. Like I'd love to. I'd love to get down. It's it feels much better to be lighter than what I'm at right now. Yeah.
Do what I'm doing. So yeah.
Give me your routine. Like how you get on a train. I need a break.
Half my body and then I don't to that person first you need covid that's going to slim you down the first ten or 20.
But I'm pretty too healthy for Coke so I don't do that just um.
Just like I'll write out what I'm eating, OK, and then just do that.
Oh yeah. All right. I'll go on the security plan. Why not. Sure I'm down. I like that. Yeah I like good. It would be good for you. Stop the weight loss. I mean, you know, be fun to have like just like another super thin friend so.
Hmmm, you know, we'll just eat. Eat right, eat right, but don't gain hard play. OK, don't ask what it's like to gain more. I thought I thought you said that you were going to use this week to, like, blow it out before you start. Just mean to OK, because.
Because you sound like one of those junkies in rehab. Right. Right.
I'm going to party extra hard before I go into rehab, which is a good idea if you're going to go to rehab. Right.
Straighten out. Get all fucked up right before you go down. Die right before. Yeah. Just don't drive fucked up. Yeah.
OK, I'm ready. I'm ready. When am I ready for.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did you wake you. Well, why are you laughing? I'm not sure why we're laughing. Is anyone else laughing in the booth or do I know she's going to get in shape now? That's why.
Yeah, that was a loud, loud and look at that comment underneath it. She went for cigarettes. Yes, she did. Yeah, that was great. Oh, my God.
I like the the sweetness with which the question was asked, did you break you like the way a kid says it?
Did you break your leg? Yes. Oh, that was great, man. Oh, I know you want to see again. No, I really don't like that. All right. Looks like, uh. You guys voted more horrible than hilarious on that one, but I gave a strong, hilarious reaction. I'm not sure why anybody's laughing. I mean, we got more laughs and then Chris is smiling big, so he just fucking busted his head open.
Yeah, but he's alive. He's fine. All right, one more ready, this one, you're going to be like, oh, he deserves it, OK?
He didn't have that. Yes, you know, I'm cool. I'm hanging out the window on the bus. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Like that.
What? Yeah, that's good. That's cool. That's going effective way to do this. What is that right now. Turkish. Turkish. Yeah. All right. You know Shimrit. Yeah.
Well, she didn't have the usual ultrasensitive George Bush, almost all the secular.
OK, I like that one. That was cool because he was trying to be cool. He was trying to be cool. He always happens in life. Always be cool. You know, that's one of the reasons I can't get a sleeve tattooed in real life. I not that I can't live up to those tats, you know. So you think you look so cool. The next day when we were out, you just had the sleeve on. Looked rad.
Oh thanks. But I, I don't know. I feel like you have this in your head. That's in your head, really? Yeah. Well, you look super cool. I don't think I'm cool all the time, you know, I think let me can I say this picture? I think this picture. Yeah. Airdrop it to the iMac, OK?
Because those people look so cool. They're up. They're all tatted up and stuff and but they're always cool like Tommy Lee when he was in here.
And he's got all those tats like I I'm such a I'm not that cool. I don't know. I don't mind that I'm not that cool. I'm not like a rock star. I'm a dopey comedian.
We went out, we went out to brunch or whatever. I think it says it went through. Right. I mean, put that on the screen, but you don't think you have to be that that person who's like a rock star. Look how cool you look here. Like I look great. I'm like a cool mom. You are cool. That's me at brunch the next day. Yeah. Yeah.
Actually, I really dig it. I think you do look really cool. I like it. I love the way the sleeve looked, the cool. I loved it.
You think you're cool enough for that? Skulls and stuff, and I think this looks great. I think it looks really great. I think you pulled off every single tattoo and I'm not even joking like the face has looked good on you, the arm to save the neck. Like, no joke. You could pull it off if you wanted to.
Here's what I want to do is I want to do sleeves every now and then, like for fun, like just seconds. Like, can I order these.
Yeah, order that. I'll get you some Ed Hardy shirts.
No, just go get fucking inked up. Maybe, you know, you've been saying this for a while, right.
I know. I like it know. But like for a few years.
I know. I know.
Can I tell you, though, I have nightmares that I'm covered in tattoos. That's one of my recurring. You know, you could do you could start like up or not. No, no. Upper sleeve, upper arm and then hide it.
Well, I'm saying that and get comfortable with it and see if you like it and then you could just extend it.
Well, you know what our mutual buddy said, who does have lots of tattoos and sleeves, she was like, you can just get them. You can get tattoos where no one can see them, you know, like I'm saying, maybe my back more. Or you could do your upper arm like no one's going to see.
But if we go to the if we go on vacation with, like, the family or I'm so in a bathing suit, so what. Yeah.
Why would that even matter. Weirdo. The someone would be like, oh my God, that lady has a tattoo on her arm. Like you see tattoos all the time.
But then can you see me at eighty with like skulls. So you're going to live to 80. That's true. I won't live to 50. Here we go. That's the right at OK. You gotta be kidding me. I do look cool, though, I do think you're cool. Would you get a tan? I don't know. I don't have the same like you've mentioned it a lot. OK, you've mentioned it quite a bit. I don't have the same thing where I'm, like, constantly talking.
But if but if I was talking about it as much as you were, I think I would do it. I did like seeing it on my hand. I thought that was really.
Yeah, you did. You liked it a lot. Like you liked it quite a bit. I really think you should consider it was a weird laugh. Yeah, you mentioned it a bit and.
Yeah, yeah. It's on Instagram. Shared the same stories.
So this is an artist. No, he's not. Yeah, and he does these things that create chaos and anxiety and. Oh well, OK. Yeah, he's had a few great things that I've posted on my stories that does create chaos and made may be anxious right away. He'll do stuff like drop heavy nails and hammers and it's meant to disturb you. OK, but really, really worked. So for those of you just listening, it's a guy who took a paint roller and rolled his face.
It looks like the peanut butter throws it on the wall. Mm hmm. Yeah, it looks it looks kind of fun. Would you do this? No, no, I would do it. No, I don't think I do a peanut butter. I mean, I think it would be fun to do like some type of I can get the fun of, like, some type of gel, you know. Yeah. Like, um. Something like a paint, like, you know, be covered with peanut butter just doesn't appeal to me to have you want the peanut butter.
I think it would be fun.
I would do it. Yeah, it's fun. It's a weird substance. I like to eat it as I'm doing this.
You know, we should get one get one of those blow up, um, like kiddie pools. Yeah. And do it in that. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather do something edible. And honey, we've done remember we did that bear sketch with Brent Whitemark. I mean how did you get. You just took a shower and came up easily. I would do that, I would do everything full of peanut butter because the boys look like they love doing it with shaving cream.
Yes, that would be fun to do.
Yeah. This episode of Your Mom's House is brought to you by Rivertown. Well, Christina, it's finally happened. Someone gets this like they really get us.
It can be hard to find jeans that fit well, genes that are comfortable and fit well. Forget it. Until now, Rivertown has changed the game for us. These are amazing. They fit great, super comfortable. They look fantastic. Not baggy, not too tight.
Perfect. The Holy Grail of jeans. Let's face it, nobody wants to be in too tight, rigid jeans right now. Rivertown Jeans were created by a few former underarmed guys. These are proprietary fabric that combines Italian male denim, a little bit of stretch and a strong durable thread, just like the stuff used in football uniforms and yoga pants. It's the best of both worlds. Rivertown jeans are durable but comfortable and mobile when you need them to be.
Plus, they're soft enough to be comfy while working from home or lounging on the couch. You've got a pair, you love them and at seventy nine bucks a pair they are less than half the price of the so-called designer jeans. When jamming our stuff into four years, they feel like nothing else. We've worn head over to Rivertown dotcom slash y image.
Our Evvie t o w n dot com slash y image to upgrade your denim game today.
This episode of your mom's house also brought to you by keeps. Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are thirty five.
Look at me. Yeah, I know more than 50 million men in the US suffer from male pattern baldness, there are only two FDA approved medications that can prevent hair loss, keeps offers both of them keeps offers a simple stress free way to keep your hair convenient.
Virtual doctor consultations and medications delivered straight to your door every three months. You don't have to leave your home. I think that doctor consultations over the Internet are probably the best thing to come of the last few years. You don't have to go anywhere. You know, if the park you don't have to look at other people. You just talk to the doctor about your situation. Discrete packaging arrives to keeps, has more five star reviews than any of its competitors.
And remember, prevention is the key. Treatment can take four to six months to see results. So act fast and act now. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps keeps dotcoms. Mom, to receive your first month of treatment for free.
That's easy peasy. Dotcom Mom to get your first month free keeps keeps dotcom mom. So we saw this morning we saw a guy walking his dog with a waist leash around his body. He knew he did hide it around.
Yeah, but he made it so he made like a belt out of his leashes. So he was walking and I just had so much disdain for that guy. And I. I love is the dog. I always love dogs. I was like, I hope your dog abandons you. Me too. Just finds a better owner. All right.
Because I think you're you're a fucking smug asshole or I hope that the dog, like, takes off chasing something it likes and pulls you down and you die and you trip over a manhole or you fall into a hole like in New York City and then you just die.
Yeah, I was going more just like have a bad moment. Oh, not I didn't wish death on them. I didn't like that he was so tethered to the dog, it doesn't seem smart. I didn't like that he didn't like out of himself. Yeah, like he invented that. Oh, I'm walking around. Yeah. Fuck you, man. I agree.
It also felt so dickless. I think when people go totally dickless and asexual, I have no respect for them. Like when I see a man wearing socks and sandals, I'm like, oh, you don't care about your dick getting touched at all. Like you're you're totally out. Yeah. Of humanity. That's a move where you're like, I don't care at a same like when a woman wears crazy sun visors. Yup. You know, like the extra long sun visor, like, oh, you look like a fucking toolbag.
And she also that is another sign of like the value. Yeah. Don't don't put anything in here. Yeah. They're all dried up. No pleasure. And then I've also been seeing people so I walk around the neighborhood, I saw a lady listening to her podcast or something on her phone, full volume and just like, hey everybody, I'm listening to this. What are you doing? What are you fucking doing? That's a big one now. And now we're seeing the more that it's become part of the of regular life or the public.
Zoom's. That's crazy. It's crazy. People are zooming at restaurants. Yeah, they guys who's joining. Yeah, right. And you're like, what the fuck. Without earbuds. Yeah. Just talking.
So your cousin told me that they were at a hotel pool. And. It's a quiet pull, it was for adults only, so it was meant for just quiet time and they're laying there's an old guy and next to him, a man opens up his computer and starts zooming with all of his coworkers and hey, guys, what you're just doing. And like in a quiet pool and the guy next to him, the old man, was trying to nap and he's like, do what?
What the fuck are you doing? And like, so what's the what's the protocol now? Are we going to let these people do this? Or do you say something?
I was in line the other day for coffee. It's not the exact same thing, but a notable person. So I'm in line. Kurt Russell is in front of me. Oh, my gosh. And behind me is a young girl like twenty to. Face time, no earbuds. And I you know, at first I was like and there was so fun to see Kurt Russell go. And then he would look forward to that because she was like, yeah, well, South Carolina, is it hot there?
And then you hear the guy be like, yeah, it's hot and just having a full, full fucking conversation. I've heard that.
I've seen it so many times in the grocery stores.
I'm name dropping Kurt Russell because it's Kurt Russell. But I've seen people in grocery stores fully face time like, hey, yeah.
Inside or at the fuckin terminal. At the airport. Yeah, it's that part. It's all you know, it was speakerphone and now it's it's face time. And Zoome calls in public. I mean, people just have it's a it's a lack of respect for your fellow citizens, you know. I mean, yeah, it's saying, look, I don't care about people around me. They don't care. They don't think.
And do you want everybody to hear your conversation? I certainly don't. I don't want people to hear me.
You're very private. You don't like anybody.
No, no. I would like. Even if it's a conversation about bullshit are still private, right, like. It's so terrible. Yeah, it's the worst. It's totally the worst. And then we saw a lot of hose and there are Lululemon panties that I don't mind.
Yeah. That's pretty good. But then there are some asses that shouldn't be in the mix. Yes, that is true. There's a number of asses that don't belong. In Lululemon pants, would you wear Lululemon pants around if you want me to, if that will really turn you on men's biker shorts?
I saw a guy running in men's biker shorts and shirtless, which is crazy.
Yeah, real crazy.
Like that big ol bulge in his pants, though. Like that. I don't like it seeing it like that. No, it doesn't look good.
It seems like you can kind of hide it if you're wearing black ones. But any other color, you're going to see the full out like that guy.
Second to the right there, Mike, you see the tire shape of his dick. Can we go bigger on that?
Yeah, it's up. It's up into the right there.
She's our number one also. Oh, my God. You can totally see they're all there. Dong's. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now you can see them all. Holy shit. Yeah. This is just dick pics.
That guy's dong is like up on his belly. Bam. Yeah, well, and that guy is on the left. I'd be so mad if I wasn't hanging. Well, for the photo, you know, I know like right for the photo, that snap, you're like, oh, wait, just let me if I can, just myself. Yeah, I take it back now. I want guys to worry about where biker shorts all you can see dong's only if they're red like this.
Americans don't they wear underwear under their eyes. I don't know. I'm I'm not seeing this when I see guys. So now you're on board with, like, no. Yeah. European ones. This is a euro one that's definitely European.
Yeah. Those are European guys, like the Polish flag or something. What is that. Yeah. Yeah, there's a Polish oh, yeah, Polska, yeah, they got their kill BOCES in their pants, a dixer out guys. Hey looks good to you. Like his. You can see it to any color that's not black. You can see it now.
You're really not to look at that. You can see that guy's full dong over here.
You know, the white ones on the far right where him to look at is doing. You can see everything. Um, homey. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That doesn't oh you can see this whole thing that looks appealing. I mean. Yeah I love it. What, what can you see. You see everything. You see the shape up into the right.
Can you not see. Yeah but I mean that doesn't look pretty subtlety. Subtle. Yeah. I guess it's more than what I'm used to seeing of dudes in the world so that's exciting. Jesus Christ. Well I mean I don't get to see outlines of everybody's dicks every day. This is a neat thing.
You came in here saying you didn't like biker shorts. Well, I thought they looked feminine and silly, and now I see that they can be really funny.
I'll tell you what I'm into is that guy's Quad's. Oh, shit. Yeah. Look at those quads. He shaves his legs, too, for. Oh, he's a real cyclist. Yeah. They shave it off to make themselves go faster. Yeah. Less resistance. Yeah. Is that true. Yeah. Do you think farmers and cyclists. I'll do that. It hinders your.
Yeah. It's just it's so I'm talking at the highest level. You're talking about any edge. So even if it's a fraction of a fraction of a second, you know. Yeah. You want to do anything to get that edge. Well all right. I guess biker shorts are in for you again.
I'm back on board for me. Scout. I thought that was a real 180.
You did just say, you know. Well, I'll tell you why, because a guy, Dick, she's like, these are not bad, they're not that bad because the guy jogging in our neighborhood was not cute like that. I didn't see any kind of hang. I didn't see any kind of outline.
I didn't see a bulge, I think because he was wearing, like, the colorful, multicolored. Yeah. And I didn't realize what I was missing out on. But now I like you're getting excited about. Like I got to say, those are all everything I saw was unimpressive.
And you don't like to see dicks. I mean, like would you if somebody showed you the outlines of boobs, don't you just like any boobs? I guess I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying.
But I thought you would want like like a fucking hog and one, you know, of course that's what I'm looking for him.
Hog hunting, maybe. Maybe I'll get lucky and see a real bigger biggie. Let's see the Nigerians like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll bring up Nigerians cycling team.
Yeah, OK. These images here, I hope this works so badly.
Oh, man, dark shorts, they wear dark shorts because they know well that that could stop the whole race if they had white shorts on. They be like, all right, guys, nobody can pay attention over here.
Yeah, it's, um.
Uh oh, I see a bulge on the left. Yeah.
The ones are covered by those stupid bicycles that get in the way. You mean their whole purpose in life? Well, boring. Yeah, they should just have men's biker short gangs and then they walk around and show me.
True, true. Let's see. Yeah, yeah. They're smart.
They don't they're not photographed without those bikes in front of them for a reason. Guys, the I bet man they move those bikes.
You would see some swinging right now. That guy right there about him. So, yeah, he's got to have something. I think they're pointing to it like, look at these guys, we're all laughing and happy. All right, uh, I remember that day I a moment and I got a long way to go. I admit I wait. I hate moving to.
Well, that's why I brought it up. You know, it's getting closer for us. And I figured you could really relate to this talk. Yeah. What's hanging from a ceiling? I don't know.
But he definitely is fitting all the cool criteria.
Check, check, check, check, check.
I like to give a shout out to charities convenience store, Grantsville, West Virginia.
What is going on in his mouth? That's the real question. What is going on with his mouth?
Are things coming out of there? Dark coloration like on his lips? Play it one more time for clarification.
I like to give a shout out to shops convenience store, Grantsville, West Virginia.
He's doing just a shout out to a convenience store. Hold on. I'm thinking and you've done this before, is that dip. It could be dip and it's just all over his lips.
Yeah, I usually try to keep it in a pocket like one area, but maybe he just talks with it everywhere and the depth is everywhere and his lips and tongue and I can't be good.
Fuck my life man.
Yeah. Good morning. Everyone is good. Thanks for taking medicine mine. I'm still in a good mood at least. Let's go give me a holler back toward God damn it.
Yeah, well it is a good reminder. Don't forget to take your medicines. Get ready to go to Philippines for a while. Right from wrong turn to keep their ProComp 500 compound to.
What do you like about this talk?
Let's start from the top. Yeah, let's start with the shirt, the shirts, the best part. Holy shit.
He's got a chalo. I'm sorry, I Chowilla Ghost walking an aggressive pit bull. That's the shirt. And then he's like, I'm going to the Philippines for the food. I'm like, I don't think so. I don't think anybody really goes for the.
Well no that's not like you know let's not shit on Philippine, uh, cuisine. It is delicious. But he's not going for that. Yeah. That's let's be real clear about something this guy is not like.
I am all about trying the cuisines of the world. Get the fuck out of here.
Like he's Anthony Bourdain. He's got cute cucu culinary. Yeah. Culinary gastro travel.
Yeah. Is he's not doing a vlog.
I like what I came back and I did have good food but they also have some pretty cheap pussy.
OK. Well. What the fuck is this? So this is Photoshopped or whatever? Oh, it's a green screen. Yeah, but I thought that you would appreciate this woman. I do like to tell her a lot. Yeah. It's always exciting and funny to me to see someone, like, real terrified. Yeah.
I don't know what or in pain or getting a bit terrified is the best. That's like the top one. Sure. I don't know what I don't know either. It doesn't tickle me as much as it tickles you.
Then again, why do I like mentally ill guys who talk about I am afraid of moving.
I don't know. And you're fucking bike shorts. Potato potato. Yeah I do like those bike.
That's just the silly talk that's a lady and falling into a full sized toilet, a huge, oversized, oversized.
Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of cool. It's kind of cool. I'd like a bathtub like that. They'll be perfect for studio jeans. That's not. Let's not make toilet bathtub kind of gross. Oh, this is Jaroslava in California talking all the gibberish that is gibberish, Plato, give me Socrates gibberish and fake gibberish. Did you not know that I didn't like that one? Why nine? Socrates gibberish, Neidjie gibberish and Frank gibberish. Mm hmm.
Because he's a. intellectual. Let's go to the next one.
Crazy and let a little bit of steam.
Yes. Yes. That's. That's. Oh, good. I don't like him at all. Let's describe how we met him last week when he's like, what's your favorite cereal everybody share? I thought we were about to see a horrible, hilarious right. There was just jumps.
You should not be jumping at that weight. He should not be jumping. We all learned that lesson. This. I think you think everybody can read. You say read the guidelines, but we think most of us can't. Now there's people out there that just can't read or write literate. We can't read that. There's the melody. OK.
This is the saddest talk folder we've had in a while.
Other I think it's funny. I don't know what you're not laughing at. What I mean, have you ever known somebody who admits to being illiterate? It's pretty funny. I mean, it's funny that he said a lot of us, like he was like most people can't read that part is funny.
But then you're like, oh, this guy's he's really sad.
Well, he's advocating for the illiterate. We need to stop the illiterate hate or stop the illiterate byas, you know. Mm hmm. We're doing it for other people, like, why are you so hateful, just trying to expose and shed light on the marginalized communities.
Tom, it's not what you're doing. I found these limited edition. Frosted strawberry doughnut warriors, and they have the pink collared cream with the glitter. So let's open this up and give them a try and that noise is really nice. OK, plastic. That's Kathy. OK. There's the middle, yeah, the green, yeah. We think. I'm pretty good. No, but a strawberry. Yeah, flavor, right, that's the strawberry part.
Not now. We can get all the time. But. All right, that was good. That was good. Some of the best the best from these talks are how and abruptly are really but could you imagine getting excited about buying a variant of the Oreo brand? No. Is that even on your radar? Of course not. But also, I mean, you know this guy. What? What, Tom? What, he doesn't have a mortgage, what does have kids what?
I have a girlfriend, what? We need to talk about the R word. I just I guess I don't understand when people get so stoked about, um, like, oh, they made a who cares? But. OK, can I say the N word? Let's ask it. Whoa, what do you think it is, but say the N-word. Uh. This is not my favorite, what you've done. OK, well, let's go to the next.
Here is how to flirt with a girl that you like. Just offer her a chocolate or this one right here. Recipient of a cup or Eminem's. Well, he's not wrong about that, right? He's not wrong, no, which one would you offer a lady you were interested in? Um, I don't think I would offer Eminem's I think you offer Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I think Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is would you like a peanut butter cup?
I would. Thank you. Yeah, it's it's the king of candies. I think it's number one in the candy world is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, yanno. Do you agree? Yeah. That's a good that's a you know, that's a good. I got to say it's not bad. What do you what do you think there's anything better than a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I don't think there is. Like, Snickers is pretty great. Yeah, agreed.
But is it better than a recap, dude? I don't fucking think so, watch mccole it again. I really like those, not sure if it's as good as a hiccup. Any of you fucking freaks out there are like almond joy, disgusting payday. Not as good. There's nothing is good. Yeah. If you ask a lady, if you if you see Lady Nestle crunch pretty good, it tastes like that chocolates kind of waxy, a Kit Kat will offer ouk.
That's good. But is it the king of the you also you can, you know, you can split it. That's kind of a cool that is. You can share one of your resee cups.
One thing we know for sure is if you offer a lady chocolate, it's cool. But also don't forget, don't compliment that bitch.
I like that advice to compliment that bitch.
And it's just it's not a cry. It's just like it's not a cry. It's just like it's not a cry. And she made a rhyme at her slide. She's got a couple of tats. Yep, she looks cool. Yeah, I like her bathing suit. Me too. Uh, that was a that was kind of kind of a palate cleanser. All right, well, look, the world is I'll tell you something, we're definitely in between something because.
We're just in a different phase on tick tock, people are getting comfortable again, they're making more innocent talks. If you'll notice, it's about cookies and slime. So it's good. We're not as angry as we were a month ago. We're not as panicked. So we're in a nice, calm stage. And tick tock is a reflection of society people.
I believe that there's no good way to use the R word. OK, let's go to the next one. I want to show everybody these cheeses. He's balloted popcorn, limited time only. We get to share limited time. The white cheddar. I actually tried this and like I said, I tried them on my YouTube channel. Oh, and I'm going to give I gave them both an eight. Oh, hey, the cheddar.
And this is a really, really sharp and really sharpness when you first bite into them. But they're pretty good. Like I said, I gave him an eight on my YouTube video and there's the cheddar.
But the cheddar popcorn is a limited time. I saw this and I figured I had to get these.
And then there's the white cheddar, like I said, I gave him and they really awesome.
Why? And eight and he doesn't tell you why it's an eight. I guess I'm going to have to go to his YouTube channel, I guess.
You know, I can't look, I think somebody could maybe tell him that when you were a Russell plastic bags like that, your audio's going to really sting. Well, listening.
I don't think he's thinking of audio quality time. He's filming in his garage. He's got like a disco light thing, light show happening in the background.
I'm more upset that he gave cheese. It's an eight, I think cheese. It is a superior snack, the pure kind, not the popcorn.
I mean, does it get any better than a cheese it for a snack cheese? It's a nice snack. I agree.
But to give the popcorn version and it's disastrous, the popcorn should be rated higher or lower.
I don't know. I imagine it's pretty good. I haven't tried it. But what are you saying though? Which way should be higher? I mean, she's it is a is a great brand and it's a great brand.
Yeah. I love popcorn. I just I could you imagine. Could you even imagine. I can't imagine anybody doing anything that we've seen none, no, nothing like I have to buy these and then make a video educating the public on how I feel, they taste just crazy. Yeah.
It's Thursday night, 11. Twenty two, less than 24 hours after time, you know, because it's right here, basically for the past forty five minutes, I would squeeze your eyeballs in advance inside my balls, brutally wake me up by that. They go back to sleep and they do it over and over and over again.
These guys are here right now. I'll just finish with them. But they are bad people. This is nothing compared to high torture or anything like that. Is is just brutal way to wake up. It's just squeezing the bars, just moving them around. It's doing the bad side involved. It is horrific. I haven't had that bad in a while. You're here right now. Can get exposed. Well, that was my palate cleanser for you. Hope you enjoyed it was like that.
I enjoy these so much, I like this as much as you like your horrible or hilarious. I know just you know, that I was that felt fine. God damn.
Jesus Christ. That was, uh. Nothing. Um, so before we go, I should mention there's, uh. There's new stuff in the store if you go to store that. Why image studios that come in about a week or so, we'll have an announcement. So, oh, the yeah, the poster still sold out the limited edition poster, we have an I got the antibodies t shirt when I'm dressed up for that as our first video, big ticket animal mug, a t shirt from the movie.
I was in flinch when I played Ed Terzian that the movie Flinch that Cameron Away directed to Basbug. Big ticket animal cuzzi. Knucklehead t big ticket. Animal shirt. Um so yeah. Visit. There's new things there, new stuff coming. Thank you guys for your support as always. Thank you for everybody to join us for the live show.
It'll be up, like I said, through the weekend. So go to Livestream that way. Image Studios dot com.
Christina, you're going on the road Ambros this week. I am. And what I believe Sunday is the only show their tickets left. Some call it Des Moines, but moyen.
Yes. And then faade next Arizona, April 20, 30, fan club 24th. I can't wait and then. Sure.
Oh yes. One night only Breast Bawls Beach, West Palm Beach, May six tickets are almost gone. Schadt like TT's June 11 and 12. San Antonio July 15 through 17.
Labutta Township, Ohio. Columbus. You're on the road. I'm Oklahoma City.
I'm doing it all, folks. Check them out. Christine IPE online dotcom this weekend.
I'm doing shows during the week, I should say, in Spanish. I'm doing San Antonio, Houston. And we added, we sold out Dallas.
We added a late show that's going to be on Thursday in Dallas at the Addison Improv. Um, and then, uh, yeah, on the road, more Spanish shows in June in Ontario and, uh, another Spanish show. But I also have a bunch of English shows there all the time. Cigaret outcome, um, go to the tour page and then hopefully soon enough we'll be able to announce more shows as people get vaccinated and things go back to normal.
You know, it's coming right. It's almost here and it can't wait. All right, Gene.
I think that's it. Gene, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Here is electronic dance moves by Mr. Mobius to take us out. Uh, we'll see you guys next week, right.
You guys are going. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. De. De de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de.
All right. Yeah, sure. Dan. During. Did. Dan. You've got your got. Quickly seen.